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We're sitting at breakfast five months before our fifteenth anniversary when I accidentally change the course of our lives. It starts with a simple comment: "I think I'm going to write the Goblin."
"What will you say?" After so many years and so many disasters, I can tell when Percy thinks something is a bad idea without having to look at him. I keep my eyes dutifully trained on my toast.
"Just... Just that Feli and I are around, and we haven't been kidnapped by pirates, at least not permanently, and maybe ask if... if Father treats him like he treated me." I glance up from where I'm picking at my breakfast just in time to see Percy's expression soften.
"That sounds like a good idea."
"I just don't want... I mean, he was fussy, but that's just how babies are. He hasn't done anything wrong, except maybe threaten a birthright I never actually wanted, and I don't want... Father... They messed me and Felicity up pretty bad, Perce. I don't want them to hurt him, too. Maybe just knowing that we're happy, and Felicity's a brilliant doctor and I'm happily living with the most gorgeous man in the world, and we're running an actual estate would help him. If... if they're... you know."
"Maybe if he needs somewhere to stay, Johanna wouldn't mind housing another Montague. This is a big house; we'd have room for him."
"Would you be alright with that? He should be around touring age now; he could get kidnapped on his tour just like we did. Felicity has pirate connections after all."
"I imagine it could reflect back rather poorly on your father if all three of his children were kidnapped by pirates while on tour." He's smiling now, and he is the most gorgeous sight I have ever had the privilege to lay eyes on.
"What a pity that would be, if my father's reputation was hurt. I'll write Adrian-- the Goblin-- later today, and that way we'll be sure to hear from him in time to arrange a kidnapping if need be. He should get a shot at a Grand Tour, if Father will let him go on one, but perhaps he could run into the Crown and Cleaver around Rome or in Venice."
"I'll write the girls and let them know what we're thinking. I'm sure they would be willing to help arrange a meeting if need be, but Venice may be a bit public. However it happens, it would be nice to share the house with someone else. It's a bit big for just us."
"Have I ever told you that you are the most wonderful partner I can imagine?" I ask him, and he blushes. He mumbles something about how it's not true, but I'm already getting up to hug him over the back of his chair. When he's sitting down like this, he's short enough that I can drape myself across his back like a cape.
"You are the best. You put up with all of my shenanigans and my schemes, and you're willing to let my little brother move in with us so he won't be hurt. You're the best, and I love you with every part of me. Some parts in particular more than others, but every part of me is in love with you."
"You're filthy, Monty Montague. Absolutely filthy."
"And you love me for it. After all, my filthy bits are all yours, Darling."
That makes him laugh, and I shake with his shoulders, nuzzling into the crook of his neck near some rather incriminating bruises. They dot his skin, a clumsier star map than the one on his cheeks, yet one that is equally endearing. He'll cover them if we have to go out, but for now, they're a reminder that he is mine and I am his and we are each other's. No matter what my little brother says in response to my letter, this will always be enough for me.
I can't imagine a better life.
-
Four months before our anniversary, we welcome the first child into the Hoffman home.
"Percy?" The violin music strikes a wrong chord, then stops abruptly. He looks up to see me in the doorway, and I feel Alex, the little boy I met outside the tailor's shop, duck out of sight behind my legs.
"No, I know that tone. What did you do?"
"Mister... Mr. Percy? I mean Mr. Newton? It's not his fault sir." Alex is still clutching my leg, but he's stepped out from behind me a bit. I put a hand on his head.
"Listen, Perce, I... he needs a place to stay, and we were talking about how we have space to spare, and it can just be for a night or two while I figure something out but at least for the night..."
"Please don't make me go away. My daddy'll be mad that I came here."
Something flickers in Percy's eyes, a cocktail of pity and realization, and then he smiles. Anyone who doesn't know him like I do (anyone else on the planet, except maybe Felicity) might even think it was genuine. Then he bends down and holds a hand out to Alex. "It's alright; of course you can stay the night. What's your name?"
"Alex. Mr. Monty saw my bruise and said he'd help me. He says we're alike because he can't hear so well, either."
Percy's eyes are on my face, and I know he can tell how angry I am. This isn't the time or place for that anger, though. This anger will be stored away for the day I meet Alex's father, and if that day ever comes, he'd better hope I've forgotten what Scipio taught me all those years ago.
For now, I just ask, "Alex, what do you say we go get dinner, hmm? We'll let Percy finish practicing, then he can come join us if he wants."
Alex nods, his little hand slipping into mine, and I can hardly remember wanting anything more than to protect this child. I'm sure there are things I've wanted more, mostly related to Percy, but in this moment, Alex is the most important being I have ever had the privilege to look after. We go into the kitchen together, and I help him look through the cupboards and take as much as he wants to the table. Someone may have to go grocery shopping a bit sooner than we'd planned on, but we're past the days when we would have had to worry about the extra expense.
"Alex, is it alright if I look you over a bit while you eat? My sister is a doctor, and she taught me how to help people feel better when they've been hurt." He nods, his attention on the roll in his hands. I get up to fetch our doctor's kit from the bedroom, and when I get back he's started on a second roll. He jumps a bit when he sees me, apparently not having heard my footsteps over Percy's violin and his own fascination with a proper dinner. I just hold my hands up and let him smile at me a bit before I come forward. One of his wrists is swollen, so I start there, crouched beside him while he eats with his free hand.
"That's from when he hit me on top of the stairs and I fell down," Alex says around a mouthful of bread. I give his hand a little squeeze as I wrap his wrist the way Felicity taught me. It's not as good as hers, but in my defense, I don't usually have to deal with sprains. With Percy, it's more scrapes and bruises, but he hasn't had a bad fit in ages, and I've probably gotten rusty with those as well. If she brings Adrian or comes to celebrate our anniversary with us, I'll have to suck up my pride and ask her to teach me again.
"I'm sorry he hurt you, and I'm not going to let that happen again, okay? You'll be safe here, I promise. Me and Percy will keep you safe; we're not going to let anyone hurt you," I promise him, dabbing gently at a scrape on his forehead.
"Really?" He's put down the roll and turned to focus on me, his wide eyes starting to water. He can't be more than eight or nine years old, but he looks so incredibly young to have been through so much that I nearly start crying, too.
"Really. Do you want a hug?" He nods, wiping a hand across his nose as he sniffles. I wrap my arms around him, and his sniffles become full blown tears.I just hold him close and reassure him that it's alright to cry, and there's no shame in it. In fact, crying is a good thing. When all you can do is cry, crying helps. A good cry can help more than you could ever imagine.
Percy comes in to find me rubbing Alex's back while his sobs slow to sniffles. He sits down cautiously, as if worried that he'll upset the calm slowly settling over Alex and me. Alex eventually wipes his eyes and scoots back onto his chair, and when I ask if it hurts anywhere else, he points to his side. I feel through his shirt, and none of his ribs seem broken, so there's not much I can do for him. After looking him over a bit more, I sit down next to Percy for dinner. The two of them have started a conversation about what Alex likes, and I'm happy to join in and listen to him talk about horses and pirates and climbing trees. If his parents were anything like mine, he hasn't had many opportunities to have adults listen to him, which must make this special. I hope we make his first dinner with us special.
He starts to fall asleep part way through dessert, and the third time he nearly falls asleep in his cake, I suggest bedtime. He insists he's okay, but after the fourth time, he lets me pick him up and carry him into the bedroom we tell guests in Percy's. He leans his good ear into my shoulder and closes his eyes, and I have never felt so completely trusted.
I bring him one of Percy's shirts to wear to bed and check him over a bit for serious injuries as I help him get changed, but everything looks alright. There are scars and fading bruises, but nothing I can do anything about now. Percy's shirt fits him like a dress, though it's not quite long enough that I'm worried about him tripping on it. He's probably too tired to be going anywhere anyway.
I tuck him into bed, and he's asleep almost immediately. When I'm confident he's actually asleep, not just faking or about to wake up with a nightmare, I go find Percy in the sitting room.
"Perce, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought him without telling you, I... I just saw him, and he had that big bruise on his face. Then he didn't hear me coming, and he said he hasn't heard anything from that side since his father hit him when he was younger, and he's still so young, I... I had to. I just kept thinking about my father, and if I'd been half deaf at home and how awful that would have been, but I... I'm sorry. I should have asked you first."
"It's alright. I admit it was a bit of a shock at first, but I understand. You wanted him safe, Monty, that's not a sin."
"And I was thinking of Adrian, and we were talking about how we have extra space to look out for him if he needs it, and I thought maybe... maybe we'd have room for two more, even just for a bit. I'm sure we can find somewhere else for him to stay, a... a foundling hospital or something, but I couldn't let him go home. I just couldn't."
"I understand. Really, I do. If I met a kid with epilepsy who needed help, I'd want to help them any way I could, too. I'm not sure I'd bring them here, but I don't mind having Alex. We're certainly a better home for him than the one he left or a foundling hospital would be. We'll have to write the girls, but if they end up running into Adrian and bringing him here, maybe Alex would be interested in meeting some real life pirates."
"I love you," I tell him, joining him on the couch. He's got an arm spread across the back, so I cuddle in close as he smiles that little in-love smile reserved just for me. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer to kiss my forehead. I am safe, and he is safe, and we are together. He is all around me, and Alex is sleeping soundly upstairs and the three of us have each other to look out for us. We are safe and happy and together, and that is all I will ever need.
I can't imagine a better life.
-
Three months before our fifteenth anniversary, Percy comes home with a little girl perched high on his shoulders. She's got her arms wrapped around his head, and she ducks down to try to hide as he brings her into the parlor where I'm playing with Alex.
"Monty? Alex? I want you to meet Elizabeth. I met her in the library today, and I think she may be spending a bit of time with us."
"Hello, Elizabeth. I'm Monty." I hold out a hand for her to shake as Percy lets her down, and she hesitates, looking me over for a minute. She must decide I'm not threatening, because she comes forward to shake my hand, though she keeps hold of Percy as she does. Maybe being built like a corgi has its perks.
"Want to play pirates with us?" Alex asks, and Elizabeth turns to study him. "Mr. Percy and Mr. Monty are friends with real pirates, and they rescue people from their mean parents.
"Really?" She's looking back at me in absolute wonder, and I grin. She seems to have decided to trust us; her grip on Percy's leg has relaxed significantly.
"Really. My sister, Felicity, is a pirate doctor. She taught me all about how to help people feel better, and I can help you, if you want. We can pretend we rescued you from some bad guys, or maybe you got hurt rescuing Percy. Percy needs to be rescued sometimes, from bad guys or just from working too hard."
She smiles at that, so Percy is pulled into our game as a newly rescued hostage, and I'm running up to our bedroom to fetch the medical kit and treat Elizabeth's battle wounds.There's not much I can do for the bruises on her arms or face, but I patch up the cut on her chin and wrap the fading lump on her forehead. The whole time, she and Alex are telling me the tale of how they've rescued Percy, occasionally arguing the finer details but certain that they've done it together. I go along with it, thanking whatever god might be up there that Alex gets along well with other kids.
When I notice Elizabeth walking with a limp, she admits to having a hurt ankle, but she doesn't want me to look too closely. Which, I have to admit, is fair. I am a strange man after all; she doesn't know I have eyes only for Percy. I think Felicity would be rather proud of my ability to wrap something while blindfolded, especially as I haven't done much of anything blindfolded since before Percy and I were together (and then only once, and it went rather poorly. Suffice to say that being blindfolded and vulnerable is not exactly enjoyable for someone with a father like mine).
Alex says she looks tough with the bandages, and he wants some, too. He tells us how he was hurt in battle, and Elizabeth provides made-up stories to explain her own injuries. I might have believed some of them if they didn't involve a sea monster and a dragon along with a rival crew.
When we've finished fixing everyone up, Elizabeth becomes our pirate captain, leading us in pursuit of a group of bad men. Percy gets himself kidnapped again and steps out to do some shopping, and the three of us are left to plot a daring rescue. When he comes back, Elizabeth makes him hide so we can come and rescue him properly. He goes along with it, becoming our constant damsel in distress, complete with lots of swoons into my arms that have us crashing to the ground in a heap more often than not. The kids find it hilarious, and I'll take any excuse to have Percy on top of me or in my arms.
We play pirates all afternoon, and at dinner, Percy reveals that he's bought some dresses for Elizabeth if she'd like to stay with us for a bit. She nods eagerly, and I slip out to prepare a room for her just across the hall from Alex's. They're far enough away from our room that they might not notice we sleep together, but we'll pass them before we go to bed for the night. They'll be able to find us if they need to, and if they have questions about our sleeping arrangement then, I'll say Percy had a bad dream.
When I get back to the others, Elizabeth is wearing a new dress. It's brighter than her old one, and though it doesn't fit quite as well, she's smiling. Two days later, I'll find her old one kicked into the corner of an adjacent room. She won't want to see it again, and I'll give it to a foundling hospital the next time I'm out. I don't need to ask to know that dress has bad memories in its seams.
All through dinner, Elizabeth doesn't say anything about where her bruises came from or why she needs us. Instead, we talk about Felicity and her friends. When Elizabeth hears about Sim, she immediately wants to know everything there is to know, which keeps me and Percy talking and telling stories until bedtime. We don't know much, but we answer her questions as best we can, and Alex pipes up with stories when he knows them.
At bedtime, I take care of Alex, and Percy makes sure Elizabeth is comfortable. We meet again in the hall outside their rooms, and Percy wraps me in a hug. I hug him back, and I feel him relax before he pulls away and leads the way downstairs, my hand in his. I give his hand a little squeeze, and he turns back to smile at me. Once we're in the sitting room, though, that smile fades as he turns to face me.
"I'm sorry to bring her so suddenly. I met her in the library today, and she... remember how you used to jump when I'd come up behind you, because I'm bigger than you and some part of you found that scary? She jumped like you used to, and I... she said that big men scared her because of her father. I just kept thinking of you, and of Felicity, and how we never wanted anyone else to have to live like that."
"You, Percy Newton, are the kindest, most wonderful man I have ever met."
"You're not upset?"
"How could I be? You've brought us a lovely, regal pirate queen. She needs us, and I think we needed her. Alex could use a playmate his own age; I don't have quite the energy I used to anymore. Not for running around anyway; I've learned to save my energy for more important activities."
That makes him laugh, which would be wonderful and endearing if he didn't throw his head back and move his mouth so bloody far from mine. He must notice me struggling, because he tips his face down, and the moment it is within kissing height I'm there. He laughs against my mouth, and even after fifteen years, I fall in love with him all over again. It seems impossible, but this gorgeous boy in my arms is mine, and we've found a space in this world where we can be happy together.
Everything is perfect until we go upstairs to bed. When we pass Elizabeth's room, Percy stops me, and I hear it, too: crying. Because Percy needs sleep to avoid fits, and because I'm smaller and less threatening, I get to be the one to slip into Elizabeth's room and comfort her. When I've calmed her down a bit, loving her the way that I would love Felicity if I cared what she wanted, I get to sit up with her and tell her about the adventure that was our Grand Tour.
I have her giggling and ghasping at all the right moments up until I tell her we decided not to go back. She asks why, and when I tell her that my father used to hit me, she sniffles and says, "Me, too. He and his friends used to get drunk and hit me and say things about me that Mother said I couldn't tell anyone. Sometimes they'd pull my skirts up and look at my legs and say things that made me want to cry."
She cries that night, and I get to look after her and comfort her until she feels ready to sleep again. She calls me a pirate doctor and makes me promise to stay, and for the first time in years, I'm reminded of the Robles's string as I fall asleep on the floor beside her bed.
She is safe, and I'm safe, and Percy and Alex are safe. The world is not perfect, and it is not always kind, but we have each other. Together, we'll make a tiny corner of the world that is as perfect and kind as it can possibly be. We'll become a family, and we'll make things work, and the four of us, together and happy, will be all I'll ever need.
Lying on the floor, I can't imagine a better life.
-
One and a half months before our anniversary, on a rainy night, there's a knock on the door so soft I need Percy to confirm I've actually heard it.
I'm the one to answer the door, both because whoever's there will expect the house to belong to someone with my skin color and because I'm the one pretending to be married to Johannah, which means I'm the first one to see the pale little boy outside. He's skinnier than he should be, and he looks sick. The scrapes on his face look fresh, and one eye is just beginning to swell shut. Were it not for the black eye or the differences in age and race, he'd look like Percy not long after a fit. It's a look I got to know well when we lived in Moorfields, and I doubt it's one I'll ever forget. I usher him in out of the rain, then bend down so that I'm not threatening and hold out a hand. I extend it slowly, but he still flinches a bit, so I pull it back to rest on my knee.
"Hi, I'm Monty. What's your name?"
"John. I... I heard... someone told me that the people who live here kidnap children. Could... could you maybe kidnap me?"
"Of course we can, come on in. Have you had supper?"
He shakes his head, so I lead him into the kitchen and, as always, help him get as much food as he wants. Once he gets settled at the table, I go to fetch him some dry clothes and the medical kit. We get him changed in a pantry, and I recognize enough to know he's had a fit pretty recently. The stiffness in his movements, the bruises covering one side, and the general exhaustion and discomfort are all too familiar. And while Percy's guardians reacted to his fits with fear, if the black eye is any indication, John's reacted with anger.
"John, I'm going to go get my friend Percy, alright? He... He has epilepsy, so sometimes he has fits where he goes unconscious, and when he wakes up he's hurt like you are. I think he might be able to help you. Is it okay if I go get him?"
John nods, so I hurry to get Percy, trusting Alex and Elizabeth to continue to entertain themselves without us for a bit. When Percy and I come into the kitchen, John flinches away from us, but Percy holds up his hands and only sits down when John gives him a little nod. I'm infinitely proud of both of them.
"Hi, I'm Percy. You're John, right? Monty said I might be able to help you if you have fits like I do."
John just looks at him, clutching a biscuit tightly. Percy smiles.
"If you don't want to talk about them, that's okay. We can talk about things you like, or I could tell you about the other kids we have staying with us." John nods at that, so Percy starts to tell him about Alex and Elizabeth, and I go to make sure we have a room ready and tell them about him.
John meets the others after he's had his supper, when he's full and content and bordering on sleepy. They've settled into books by then, and Elizabeth is so enthralled she doesn't immediately look up, even when entertaining the prospect of a new friend.
Alex is the one to climb off the couch and come meet John. He's smaller than John is, so maybe that's why John doesn't flinch when offered a hand.
"I'm Alex. Mr. Monty let me come live here because my daddy used to hit me and because we don't have right ears. Well, I have one, but it doesn't work very well. But Mr. Monty and Mr. Percy say that doesn't matter."
"I'm... I'm John. My father used to hit me, too."
"That's Elizabeth. She's bossy, but she's nice. When I have nightmares, she says she'll scare them away for me. She's not always very good at it, but at least she tries."
"My daddy used to hit me, too," Elizabeth says. She's set down her book and come to shake John's hand. "So did Mr. Monty's, though, and he's happy and brave now, So we can be happy and brave, too."
She grins at me, a gap where she lost a tooth last week, and my heart melts. Percy wraps an arm around my shoulder and gives it a little squeeze, and when I glance up, he looks so proud I'm tempted to look behind me and see who he's really looking at. Maybe by the time we've been together fifteen full years, I'll have grown used to the idea that I am someone worth being proud of.
After stories and before bedtime, Percy offers to sit in John's room for a bit and talk about their fits. John agrees, so I tuck Alex and Elizabeth into bed, then go to our room to wait for Percy. He comes in just as I'm starting to drift off, but I shake myself awake and cuddle up beside him. I'm rewarded with a kiss on my forehead and a lovely view of his freckles.
"Did he want to talk?"
"He did. He said his last fit was yesterday, and we talked for a while about how scary they are. His neighbor had a dog who could tell when one was coming, so he hasn't started to be able to tell for himself yet. The dog died last week, and this one caught him off guard, which is... terrifying. It's absolutely terrifying, Monty; it was scary for me and I knew I'd be relatively safe. His father thought he was faking, though, and he... after the fits he'd hit him. I... why are people so terrible? How could anyone be so cruel to a child like John?"
I don't have an answer, but I'm not sure he's expecting one. Instead, I say, "He's here now, though. We can look after him, and you can help him learn and stay safe. We can deal with his fits better than most people; we have experience, after all. We'll at least be better than his parents."
"You think we should let him stay?"
"I think we have to, Darling. Elizabeth and Alex won't mind a new friend, and we can help him when he has fits. We'll stay with him and keep him safe and do all the things you said help you, and we'll teach the other kids to do the same."
"I didn't think I could fall any more in love with you," Percy mumbles. He leans down, and I lean up, and our lips meet in the middle.
"You're going to help him a lot, Perce, I know it. Even if he just sees that you're happy and living a full life without being well. Shit; that's not what I meant, you're well enough. Shit that feels wrong, too. You're happy and living a full life with epilepsy. We both know that's something I had to learn was possible, and clearly I'm still not great at dealing with or talking about it, but it'll be good for him and the other kids to learn and see and understand."
Percy chuckles softly, kissing me again as we settle in for the night. With my head on his chest, his heartbeat fills my good ear. The kids, all three of them, are sleeping safe and sound, and Percy and I are together and have each other. We've found our place in the world, and that place, full of the five of us, is all I could ever need.
I can't imagine how my life could get any better.
-
A month before our fifteenth anniversary, Percy and I are playing in the front room with the kids when a dark carriage pulls up outside the window.
Alex ducks behind Percy, and Elizabeth takes my hand, hers shaking slightly. John is on Percy's back, but he clings more tightly, ducking his face down into Percy's shoulder near some bruises that would be incriminating were he old enough to understand them. That leaves me with the fewest kids, so I head toward the door, giving Elizabeth the option to latch onto Percy as I do. She stays stuck to my side.
Through the window, the carriage door opens, and Elizabeth ducks behind me as someone steps out. It's Felicity, and Percy and I both relax instantly. I go to throw the door open with a grin.
"Felicity Montague! Welcome to our humble abode. Lizzie, this is my sister. She's the real pirate doctor. I'm going to go say hi, but you can stay back here if you want. Percy and I will take turns, so if you don't want to come meet her yet that's okay." She keeps hold of my hand, so I usher Felicity inside before throwing my free arm around my sister. She endures the hug, then starts toward Percy when I let go, but I dart in front of her.
"Feli, hang on just a bit. Perce... he's got to let the kids down if they're not comfortable. Lizzie wanted to meet you, but Alex and John might not want to. They've heard all about you, of course, about how brilliant and amazing and what a pain you are, but that's different from meeting a stranger."
"Did you bring Johanna and Sim with you?" Elizabeth asks, looking toward the door like they might magically appear there, "I wanna be just like Sim when I grow up so nobody can hurt me ever again." Felicity shoots me a look, but doesn't say anything. I let go of Elizabeth's hand and step back to take John from Percy's back so he and Alex can go greet Felicity. I feel John trying to hide, and when I offer to take him somewhere more private, he nods.
"Sim and Johanna are busy dealing with docking fees and luggage and other dull business right now, but yes, the came with me. They'll be here soon with our brother Adrian. Percy, hello! How's my brother treating you?" Felicity asks behind us, and I miss Percy's answer as the door shuts. John slips off my back and stares at the floor.
"I'm sorry I made you leave and that I'm scared please don't be mad." The words tumble out of his mouth so quickly that it takes me a moment to process them.
"What? John, I'm not mad at all, okay? I know this is scary, and I'm really proud of you. If you want to go hide that's okay, or if you want to sit in your room we won't bother you to come meet anyone you don't want to. Will you be alright if I go back out though?"
He nods, already planning a hiding spot. It'll probably be under his bed, with a book sticking out the end so he can read. I smile, and he smiles back, and then he's scampering off to his room and I'm stepping back into the parlor to overwhelm and disgust my sister. Elizabeth has them sitting on the floor, and I come out just in time to hear her say, "And Alex has to sit by Felicity on this side so that he can hear her okay. He can sit in Mr. Monty's lap if he comes back so that way they can both hear. Mr. Monty! You're back! Come sit down so Miss Felicity can tell us about what she's doing."
I sit, scooping Alex into my lap, and grin at Felicity. She's looking a bit overwhelmed, but she answers the kids' questions about pirates until they run out. Percy is the one to suggest they go find John and tell him about Felicity if he wants company, and then they've run off and left the three of us alone, just like old times. The first thing I do is pull Felicity into another hug, and this time she squirms and complains, and everything is exactly as it should be.
"It's good to see you, Felicity." Leave it to Percy to start a conversation with someone being lovingly mauled by their older brother.
"It's good to see you, too, Percy, though I admit it was a surprise to find four children instead of only the one I was expecting."
"Ah, yes, I... you must have left Algiers before our letter arrived."
"They need us, Felicity. We have to look after them," I tell her. I let go, latching onto Percy instead, and give her my biggest puppy dog eyes.
"When we were thinking of having Adrian come stay with us, we realized how much extra room we had in the house. Then Monty found Alex while he was out one day, and--"
"He can't hear on his right side because his father hit him. So I had to take care of him, see; he's like me but with fewer guns. Besides, not being able to hear on one side is scary enough. I can't imagine how scary it would be in a house with someone who wants to hurt you."
"Then I met Lizzie at the library, and she was scared of me at first but I read stories to her-- she reminds me of you, Felicity; she's always reading something-- and she said she was scared of big men, so I told her I knew a little man who wouldn't let anyone hurt her, and she wanted to meet him, so she came home with me and met Monty. And she and Alex became such good friends she just had to stay."
"And John showed up a couple weeks ago because he'd heard that the people who live here kidnapped children, and he wanted us to kidnap him. He has epilepsy just like Percy, and his parents used to hit him for it. He needed people who understood and weren't going to be angry, and he's already doing so much better now that he's here. All of them just need a safe place to stay and grow up, and we can give them that, so... so no one has to deal with parents like ours. You don't... you don't think that Johanna will be upset, do you? It is her house, after all."
"No, I... I don't think Johanna will be upset that you've started adopting children. If anything, she'll be proud. It sounds rather like something she would do." Felicity's smiling, and though she moves it to Percy the instant she sees me looking, that doesn't change the fact that I'm nearly positive I've made Felicity proud of me.
While Felicity gets settled into her room upstairs (just down the hall from Elizabeth, at her insistence), Percy and I gather the kids in a sitting room.
"At dinner tonight, Monty's sister and brother and their friends are going to eat with us," Percy tells them, "I know that could be scary, but I promise that we won't let them hurt you. You'll always be safe here, I promise."
"There... there might also be a big dog joining us. One who's pretty old, but still has a decent amount of energy," I add, "He can stay outside, I think, but he... he'll probably be here, too. He belongs to the woman who owns the house."
"Can we meet him?" John's the one who asked, which makes Percy grin.
"I think we can make that happen. Max is very friendly, and he likes people, he just doesn't know how big he is. He might knock you over."
"That's okay. My neighbor's dog used to knock me over sometimes, but he didn't mean to. He was a good dog; he used to warn me before a fit and he wouldn't let my parents get me. Sometimes I think that's why they--" he cuts off, his face bright red.
"I like big dogs, too," Elizabeth says after a moment, and Alex nods.
"Alright, then maybe we'll have Max come in. So it'll be Max the dog, Sim the pirate, Johanna the scientist my sister Felicity, my brother Adrian, and the five of us. I know that's a lot of people, but like Percy said, we won't let anyone hurt you. None of them would want to, but we won't let them. Promise."
"If it's too much, that's okay, too. Monty or I can have dinner with you somewhere else."
"When are the others getting here? And the dog?" John asks.
"Probably pretty soon. Felicity said they would be here for dinner, they just had to get things sorted with the ship and their luggage first."
As if on cue, there's the sound of a carriage pulling up outside, and I stand to go answer the door. John moves closer to Percy, as does Alex, but Elizabeth gets up to come see who's at the door with me. She hides behind my legs as I open it to find Johanna, Sim, and a man I don't recognize who must be my younger brother.
"Hello, everyone, welcome! Lizzie, it's alright, this is Johanna and Sim, and... and my brother, Adrian. Everyone, this is Elizabeth, she's staying with us for a bit."
"Are you Sim the pirate? From the stories? I want to be just like you," Elizabeth says, and Johanna puts a hand to her mouth while Sim looks surprised.
"We tell them bedtime stories about our tour and our adventures," I explain, stepping aside and ushering everyone in, "How was the trip? And the kidnapping?"
"Your father needs to hire better bear leaders," Sim says, "After what Felicity told us of yours and the way your brother's acted..."
"Did you really kidnap him from his mean father? Mr. Monty and Mr. Percy say you did."
"Why don't we tell you all about it? That way the boys can have some time to talk," Johanna says, and Elizabeth leads her and Sim into the parlor, leaving me face to face with my brother for the first time in fifteen years. Well, more accurately face to chin, because he seems to have taken after Felicity in the height department.
"Hello. Thank you for... for this."
"Of course. I'm sorry I didn't think of it earlier; I should have known that they wouldn't be good parents to you after they'd been so awful to the two of us. I don't suppose they told you much about us?"
"Only that you'd been kidnapped by pirates on your tour. I used to pretend to come rescue you, but then Father told me to stop. Later on, I pretended it was the other way around, and you'd come rescue me. Which, I suppose, is sort of how it worked out."
"So he... did they tell you about Percy? Or the other boys?"
"What boys?"
"Well, it... it all started with a boy named Richard Peele. He--"
"God, I hate him." I turn to see Percy coming down the hall, and I feel my whole face light up at the sight of him as he says, "the girls took the kids out to meet Max so I could come meet your brother."
"Yeah, we... we hate Richard Peele. Adrian, this is Percy, my... the man I'm in love with."
"Oh thank god, I didn't, I mean, I... I thought... I knew there were other people who, you know, but I'd never met-- Hi, I'm Adrian, it's... it's a pleasure to meet you."
"The pleasure is all mine. Always a joy to meet another runaway Montague. Though I must admit, your siblings have left rather large shoes to fill when it comes to upsetting your parents."
"I ran away with a man, and Felicity became a bloody pirate doctor scientist. She set the bar high."
"I think I'd be happy just being out of their house. And... and maybe someday I'll meet a nice boy of my own somewhere. Henry, you... you're a..."
"A molly, a sodomite, a man in love with another man. Well, I rather like women too, or at least I used to, but yes. I'm an affront to nature. And please, call me Monty. Henri is our father, may he rot in pieces. I'm not surprised he kept that from you, though; I suspect he kept it as covered as possible."
"Me too. I mean not the covering up thing, I mean maybe, but the... the other thing. The molly thing. Me too. I've never met anyone else who... why are you laughing?"
"Because... because our very traditional parents had three children, and not a single one of those children is interested in a traditional romantic relationship."
Adrian smiles, just a bit, and I recognize my dimples in his cheeks.
"I was afraid we wouldn't have anything in common, but maybe we're more alike than I thought," he says.
"I was afraid you might not want to stay with us when you found out about Percy and me. But come in, for real; we'll show you your room and maybe do a bit of a tour?"
"Alright. Who was the little girl who opened the door with you? Elizabeth?"
“Right, um, well. After I wrote you, we realized that there’s rather a lot of space in this house. And then I met a little boy named Alex who lost his hearing in his right ear because his father hit him. As someone missing a right ear myself, I had to make sure he was looked after. Then Perce found Lizzie in a library, and she was scared of him because her father was mean, so then she came to live with us, too. There’s another boy named John; he came by a couple weeks ago and asked us to kidnap him. He’s got epilepsy, which Percy also has, so we’re helping him out. So we’ve rather a lot of people in the house right now, but the more the merrier, right?”
“Are you sure you’re related to Henri Montague? He always said I’d grow up to be like him, because all boys are their fathers, but you’ve become about the farthest thing from him I can imagine.”
Somehow, that is enough to send me over the edge. I try to hold back the tears, but after so many years trying to erase my father’s legacy, hearing that I’ve become unrecognizable as his son lifts a load I’d forgotten I was carrying. Adrian looks alarmed at the tears, but I shake my head and force myself to talk through them.
“Sorry; I... that means a lot. Knowing I’m not like him, I mean. I’ve been trying my best not to be, but I—"
I’m saved when Felicity comes down the stairs and offers to take Adrian to his room, and Percy wraps his long arms around me from behind. After all these years, I don’t flinch anymore, just turn to hide my face in his shoulder.
“I’m proud of you. You’re not your father, Monty; you never could be. I’m glad you got to hear it from someone who might actually help you believe it.”
I’d been scared that the first dinner with Adrian would be quiet or awkward, but it’s nothing of the sort. When we all crowd around the table for dinner, nine outcasts and a big old dog, the house is full of more laughter than it’s ever been. Elizabeth sits between Johanna and Sim, and they have to keep reminding her to eat between stories of their adventures and discoveries. Percy is between me and them, sitting on my bad side and tapping my hand if I need to be sure to hear something. John sits on my other side, Max at his feet. Alex is between John and Adrian, asking questions about Adrian’s rescue that he and Felicity answer together. When they’re next to each other, it’s easy to tell that they’re siblings, even if he managed to grow a bit beyond the average Montague height.
After dinner, I take the kids upstairs to bed. Elizabeth drags Sim along with us, and Max follows John without any urging, which makes story time a bit cramped for the night. Sim tells us a story about sea dragons, and as I tuck Elizabeth into bed she says she can’t wait until she’s old enough to go find dragons with Sim. Alex wonders if the dragons could fix his ear so he could hear okay again, and when I walk into John’s room, he’s sharing a bed with Max and sleeping more soundly than I’ve ever seen.
I find the others still in the dining room, enjoying tea and each other’s company.
“How are the kids?” Percy asks as I sit down, and I nod.
“Lizzie's going to be up for a bit thinking about dragons, but they’re good. John fell asleep with his head on Max, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him sleep that deeply.”
“Max is a good dog. He... I think he can tell when people need him, and that boy needs him badly,” Johanna says, smiling a bit. She seems to have gotten over her infatuation with Percy, which is very convenient, given that she’s officially married and he’s married in every way but the official.
“Maybe we should get a dog,” I muse, but Percy looks startled.
“Yes, because what this house needs is another ball of chaotic energy running around. We’ve got three young kids and now two Montagues; I’m not sure we can handle any more,” Percy says, and Johanna laughs.
“I think if Sim and I aren’t careful, you’ll be down to two children and two Montagues. Elizabeth certainly is excited about us.”
“If I’m honest, I think she may be rather smitten with Sim.” I’ve learned how to whisper by now, but I make sure this is the volume of my early deaf whispers, meaning everyone at the table can hear it. Felicity begins to laugh, as does Johanna, patting Sim’s back. Her skin color makes it hard to be certain, but I’m nearly sure Sim is blushing. Adrian’s face is the one that surprises me most, though. He looks the way I felt when I saw two men kiss in Venice, or after Sinjon Westfall kissed me at Eaton. Like someone has suddenly given him permission to air something he’s been hiding for years.
We may well be the first people he’s ever met who are making unconventional lives work. After my shenanigans, I doubt my father let him anywhere near boys who would play his instrument, and even our tour it’s unlikely he would have met anyone like us. I grin at him, and he smiles back, the biggest smile I’ve seen from him yet.
“You know, Adrian. There’s a rather friendly young blacksmith nearby, and I'm sure you lot have some sort of pirate weapons that could use his attention. What do you say you and I go down there tomorrow and I introduce you? Maybe see if we can get a different sort of sparks flying?”
“Monty Montague, your brother has been here less than a day and you’re already trying to find him a lover?” Percy has his head over my good shoulder, speaking almost directly into my ear so I can’t use the excuse of my deafness to ignore him.
“What can I say? I want him to be happy, Perce.”
“And has your sister not taught you that romance is unnecessary for happiness? Let him get settled, Cupid.”
I roll my eyes and shrug Percy’s head off my shoulder, but Adrian’s smile is the widest I’ve seen yet. Looking around the table, knowing my family is safe and the kids are asleep upstairs, I am the happiest I’ve ever been. Percy is by my side, Felicity and her friends are happy, and I’ve made the Goblin smile. I thought once that you can’t live off love, but in this moment, our love and happiness is everything I need.
I can’t imagine anything better.
-
The night of our anniversary, Percy and I are lying in bed, so close I’m not entirely sure where I end and he begins. The hand rubbing circles into my shoulder must be his, as is the voice in my ear that says, “I think I have a rather foolish idea.”
“And what would that be?”
“Well, how many fathers do you think are like yours?”
“Too many, certainly.”
“And if they felt they had the option, how many children do you think would leave those fathers?”
“I’d imagine quite a few. I can think of seven children who’ve already left, and we don’t know that many people well.”
“What if we provided that option? If we opened this house up to anyone who needs a home, regardless of... of who they are, or what problems they might have? I mean, John came to us because he heard we could help him. What if we did the same for other kids like him? Kids who think they couldn’t possibly leave, because their only other option is to be alone, what if we offered them a family?”
“I thought you said this was a foolish idea, Perce, not a bloody brilliant one.” I’m so excited I prop myself up on an elbow, shifting the tangle of our legs so I can grin at his freckles. He smiles, too, shifting those freckles as he does. He is the most beautiful creature that the good lord ever created, and I have gotten to spend the best fifteen years of my life loving and being loved by him. I have gotten to see him grow and change, and I have gotten to support him as he does, and I am so infinitely proud of and in love with him I think I may burst. With this wonderful boy beside me and the confidence that our little chosen family is safe, I have everything I could ever want.
I can’t imagine a better life.
-
One month after our fifteenth anniversary, surrounded by children and family and laughter, Percy and I put up a sign: “The Molly Hoffman House: All Are Welcome, No Questions Asked”. The Molly bit we debated, as it may alert a manners society, but it feels important for people like me and Percy (and Adrian, and the lovely blacksmith down the road who almost certainly finds him attractive) to know they’re welcome. Johanna is the one to come up with the solution, suggesting I tell anyone with questions that she’s miscarried a child who was to be named Molly and has gone away to recover her health. It answers questions both about the name and about why my supposed wife is so often absent. She and the others are leaving tomorrow, and they’ve promised to write Elizabeth regularly and bring each one of us something special next time they come to visit.
So, surrounded by the family we’ve built, Percy and I embark on a new adventure, one to rival even our glorious disaster of a tour. Five months ago, I’d thought that nothing could top that adventure, and that I was the happiest I could be.
I could not be happier to be wrong on both counts.