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Kirishima's dorm room was filled with silence as Kaminari and Sero stared at Ashido with undisguised anticipation. The pink heroine had her eyes closed as she pondered her decision. Finally, she opened them and pointed to Sero. "I'll have to go with Sero."
"Yes!" the black haired boy cheered as he scooped up his winning hand. Kaminari let out a groan and fell back onto the floor. "Even with hands instead of feet and disguised as Gandalf, Aizawa-sensei is all powerful!"
"I was sure I could beat you with Iida whose talent is baking bread and can control your right hand would pull through," Kaminari grumbled as he tossed cards onto the discard pile. "Now we're tied up again!"
Kirishima, who had been sitting on the bed with his face in his phone, glanced over at his friends. "Bakugou says he'll be here in about ten minutes so we can start the Smash tournament," he said.
"Just enough time for one more round," Ashido grinned as she leaned forward with her chin balanced on her hands. "But this time, you two will be doing a random round."
"Works for me, my hand is garbage anyways," Sero agreed. The two heroes each pulled a hero and two attributes from random locations in the decks and set them aside. "Shall I go first?"
"Please, good sir," Kami grinned with a light wave of his hand. "I'd like to see who will be defeated at my hero's hand."
With a confident look, Sero flipped up his card. "Ok, my hero is Midoriya Izuku!" Kaminari winced.
"Ooh, that'll be tough to beat," Ashido commented as she stared at the handwritten card with Midoriya's name on it. "He's a tough fight."
"But he shall not prevail against...Bakugou Katsuki!" Kaminari cheered as he showed his own hero. This caused Kiri to put down his phone and join Ashido on the floor.
"Bakugou is going to win this," he agreed. Ashido tilted her head in thought.
"I'm not so sure. Maybe we'll finally figure out what happened during that fight when we first moved into the dorms. But Sero, first trait?"
"Midoriya's first trait is that he has horrible self-esteem." There was silence.
"Um, Sero?" Kaminari asked awkwardly. "You know Super Fight is usually about giving people traits that they don't already have, right?"
"It's not my fault I drew that card!" The tape-hero argued as Kirishima and Ashido snickered. "Anyways, what's Bakugou's trait? Constantly angry?"
"Hardly," Kaminari scoffed as he looked at his first trait. He stared for a few seconds before he started giggling. "You'll be facing a Bakugou Katsuki who is wearing high heels!"
"Heels?" Sero's face was one of shock and Ashido's one of gleeful amusement. But Kirishima just went red. Bakugou was already a little taller than him. But in high heels...Towering over him with that smirk on his face... The redhead buried his face in his hands and hoped his friends didn't notice his embarrassment.
Thankfully, if they did, they were inclined to ignore it for the time being. "Ok, second trait of Midoriya is...he can't stop sobbing. Come on!" Sero complained as the other three burst into laughter.
"Maybe we're actually reliving the sports festival?" Kirishima offered between laughs.
"Or he's crying because of his low self-esteem," Ashido pointed out. "It's not looking good for you, Sero."
"Yeah, yeah," Sero grumbled and folded his arms across his chest. "Kami?"
"Hold on." The blond male peeked at his second card, and nearly choked on his tongue. "That...that's a mental image I'm not sure I want."
"He has tentacles?" The guys all stared at a suddenly very eager Ashido in confusion.
"...No. Bakugou Katsuki is wearing high heels and a full-body latex suit that is too small for him." There was silence, and then Sero and Ashido started laughing once again. Kirishima just hid his face once more. Bakugou in heels was bad enough. But add a too small latex body suit... Kaminari shook his head. "Well, I think Sero's down. There's no way my sexily dressed Bakugou Katsuki, and I can't believe I'm saying that, is going to lose this."
"Hold on," Ashido protested as she pulled two more cards. "We need a location and situation. Ok, location is their high school gym..."
"Are we sure we aren't just reliving the sports festival?" Sero asked, earning a playful shove from the pink-haired heroine.
"...and the situation is each hero is handcuffed to another hero that you draw from the deck," Ashido finished. "So grab another hero to be attached to, boys!"
"Can we give them a trait as well? Just so maybe I have a chance?" Sero asked as he plucked a card from the hero deck.
"I'm fine with that," Kaminari agreed. The boys grabbed each took another attribute card and settled it next to their new hero.
"Ok, so my Midoriya with horrible self-esteem and who can't stop sobbing is handcuffed to...a fifty foot statue of All-Might." Sero threw his hands up in exasperation as his friends collapsed with laughter. "Why am I just describing Midoriya?!"
"What's the trait? What's the trait?" Ashido begged through her giggles. Sero flipped the other card, read it, and gave a long and heavy sigh.
"...the statue is made of cheese," he muttered.
"That's why Midoriya's crying!" Kaminari practically shouted. "He spent all of his money on a fifty foot statue of All-Might to boost his self-esteem, but it turned out to be made of cheese!"
"Is, is he dangling in midair because the handcuff is attached to the statue's wrist?" Ashido was practically crying from laughing so hard, and Kirishima was bent over, clutching his aching stomach from too much laughter. Even Sero cracked a smile at the mental image.
"Well, it's clear that I am the winner. But I want to see who's the unlucky sap handcuffed to a Bakugou in heels and a latex body suit too small for him." Kaminari looked at his two cards, and promptly collapsed in mirth once again. "BAH HA HA! Oh, that's just perfect!"
"Tell us, tell us!" Ashido begged.
With a flourish, Kaminari laid down his cards. "Bakugou Katsuki is handcuffed to Kirishima Eijirou..." Kirishima lifted his head at the statement, his face burning. "...who has had a painful erection for 5 hours!" This time, it was Kiri who was sitting in silence while his friends fell into hysterics around him. Sero reached out to pat him on the shoulder, but its sincerity was lost amid Sero's clear amusement.
"So," Ashido managed to get out. "Bakugou was in the middle of sexy times with Kiri when he felt a sudden urge to beat up a crying Midoriya and ran off to do it, not bothering to change his outfit or unhandcuff Kiri?" Kirishima groaned and buried his burning face in his legs as the question set Sero and Kaminari off again. Which made it the perfect time for Bakugou to come walking in.
"What the fuck are you idiots laughing at?" The ash-blond asked as he tossed his bag into a corner. Seeing said hero only made the trio laugh harder as Kiri prayed to suddenly be granted Hagakure's power so he could escape.
"We...we were talking about who would win in a fight; you or Midoriya," Sero choked out.
"I'd obviously win," Bakugou scoffed. "Deku would never beat me."
A mischievous look appeared on Kaminari's face and Kiri's stomach dropped. He attempted to lunge and cover the blond's mouth, but the electric user dodged out of the way. "Not even if you were in high heels and a too small latex body-suit?"
"Fucking what, Pikachu?!" Bakugou's face pinked as Ashido and Sero caught on to Kami's ribbing.
"And you're handcuffed to Kiri here!" the pinkette added, stroking a flustered Kirishima's back.
"Not to mention you've been teasing him for a while because he's had a stiffy for at least 5 hours," Sero finished with a smirk. There was silence, and then a look of pure rage appeared on Bakugou's face as his hands erupted with fire.
Instantly, Kiri dove for his best friend, restraining him as best he could. "RUN!" he commanded, and the rest of the Bakusquad bolted. Kaminari even managed to grab most of the cards before sprinting out the door, followed by Bakugou's furious cursing. Eventually, his struggling ended and he sagged, panting, against a partially hardened Kirishima.
"I'll fucking kill those damn idiots. Like I'd ever wear a latex body suit," he grumbled into the red-head's chest.
And because Kirishima clearly had no survival instincts, he blurted out, "So you're ok with the heels?"
"DIE!"