Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Toi and Enta like each other. Kazuki can tell. He’s not sure if they’ve realized it yet, but it’s pretty obvious.

He’s happy for them—it’s a little weird, and they had a rough start, but they’re good for each other. Enta’s always had trouble making friends besides Kazuki, and Kazuki honestly doesn’t know if Toi’s ever had friends before. Neither of them seemed like they were interested in romance, but Kazuki’s been watching them as they talk, and underneath all the bickering are blushes and compliments hidden in insults. He’s happy for them. Why wouldn’t he be?

Kazuki and Kuji like each other. Enta can tell. He doesn’t think they’ve realized it yet, but he’s pretty much an expert on crushes at this point.

He’s happy for them. It stings a bit, that Kazuki likes someone, likes a boy, and it isn’t him, but Enta’s content with being friends now. They’re the golden duo—trio. It’s fine. Kuji’s still a bastard, but he doesn’t totally suck, and Enta’s fairly sure they’re friends now. Enta doesn’t blame him for liking Kazuki, because who wouldn’t? And Kazuki likes him back. Kazuki flirts with him, Enta didn’t even know Kazuki could flirt, but he does and Kuji can’t flirt for shit so he just gets flustered and it’s—in any case, they clearly care for each other a lot. Enta’s seen them talking, seen how they blush, and fidget, and flirt, and do they even know they’re flirting? They have to. You don’t act that way with just regular friends, they don’t act that way with Enta—it’s fine. He’s happy for them. How couldn’t he be?

Kazuki and Jinnai like each other. Toi can tell. They’re practically broadcasting it, it’s so obvious.

He’s happy for them, he supposes—it’s gross, how mushy they get over each other, but Jinnai did almost die, so they probably deserve to be a bit sappy. Toi wishes they would just hurry up and date, though. Jinnai’s as good as confessed already, what with getting himself shot for Kazuki, but apparently Kazuki’s obliviousness knows no bounds. Toi almost feels sorry for Jinnai. How dumb do you have to be, to not realize someone’s flirting with you? He is happy for them, though. They’re a lot closer than they were when he first met them, and they seem so much happier for it. Jinnai’s calmed way down, and Kazuki is all touchy-feely with him, which is weird, but makes sense. He was pretty scared. They both keep giving each other these stupid speeches, about how much they care about each other, and how they’re partners for life, and Jinnai always gets all starry-eyed and dreamy, and Kazuki will tear up sometimes, and give Jinnai a look so fond it’s sickening. When they get like that it’s like the entire rest of the world disappears, and it’s just them. Toi’s pretty sure he could leave and they wouldn’t notice. He doesn’t really care. He just hopes they don’t kiss in front of him. Kisses are gross. But really, he doesn’t care. It’s not like it’s any of his business anyways.

It’s fine.

Chapter Text

They’re at it again. Kazuki resists the urge to sigh. He’s not an expert, but he doesn’t think that ragging on each other’s soccer skills is a very effective way of flirting.

“Listen, if you wanna do it that way, then whatever, but there’s no way I’ll be able to make the goal.” Toi sounds indifferent, but Kazuki can tell he’s getting fired up. He’s standing straighter than he usually does, and his eyes have a spark in them that he can’t quite hide.

“Aw, is someone upset because they suck at receiving passes?” Enta’s tone is mocking, but it lacks the bite it used to hold whenever he talked to Toi. It’s a playful banter, though Kazuki’s well aware it could quickly get heated. Sure enough, Toi takes the bait.

“Wha-I don’t suck at receiving passes, you just suck at passing!”

Enta crosses his arms. “Kazuki never has any trouble with my passes.”

“Yeah, well, just because Kazuki’s actually good at soccer doesn’t mean you don’t stink,” Toi says.

“Ha! So you admit Kazuki’s a better player than you!” Enta sounds triumphant.

“What? Of course Kazuki’s better than me, I just started playing again,” Toi says. “What’s your excuse?”

Enta huffs, but he seems mollified. Kazuki’s not sure why, since Toi just insulted him again, but Enta just grabs the ball and moves back into position.

“Whatever, let’s just play, oh great soccer master,” Enta says.

Kazuki walks over to Toi.

“Hey, that was awfully nice of you, Toi,” Kazuki teases. He leans towards Toi, hands behind his back. “You think I’m good at soccer?”

Toi shoves him away, but he’s smiling, just a bit. “Shut up, you know I only said that to get him off my back.”

Kazuki smiles back. He wasn’t just teasing—it was nice of Toi. Kazuki’s glad that Enta and Toi are getting along now, but sometimes, when they derail their soccer games with their harmless squabbles, Kazuki feels a bit left out. It’s silly, of course, but when they’re so caught up with each other, he can’t help but feel like a third wheel. He’s sure he’ll get over it, though. He’s just used to being Enta’s only real friend, is all, and Toi is usually so standoffish with everyone else, it’s just taking some getting used to. They’re all three friends, the golden trio, and even if Enta and Toi start dating, that won’t change.

“Sure, sure, whatever you say,” Kazuki says. He pauses. “Just—don’t go easy on him, he’d hate that, but be careful, okay? He’s still recovering, and I don’t want…”

Toi glances over to where Enta is bouncing the ball from foot to foot. “Don’t worry,” he says, and his voice is so soft, so gentle.

Kazuki feels unbelievably lucky to be his friend, even after everything he’s been through.

“Hey, are we playing or not? C’mon, I wanna practice my feints!”

“Dumbass, if you announce what you’re going to do it’ll be super easy to block you!”

“Not if I’m good enough,” Enta says, grinning. He’s illuminated by the sunset, and he looks like he’s glowing, vibrant and full of life.

“You’re not,” Toi retorts, but he’s grinning now too, a full fledged, wild grin. He heads over to Enta and kicks the ball away from him, and Enta squawks and runs after him.

Kazuki laughs, and starts running too. Even if the others do date, nothing could change what’s between the three of them.

Chapter Text

Kazuki is laughing. Enta doesn’t think he’ll ever hear anything more beautiful than Kazuki’s laugh. He’s had countless daydreams just about making Kazuki laugh, about hearing it in all its variations. He loves the mischievous snicker Kazuki hides behind his hand whenever he teases someone, he loves the high pitched giggle of frightened relief he hears whenever they finish a scary movie, he loves the carefree chuckle at jokes Kazuki thinks are funny—but most of all, Enta loves how Kazuki laughs when playing soccer. Uneven, and out of breath, and happy—Enta lives to hear that laugh.

For a while (so, so long, so long it felt like an eternity), Kazuki didn’t laugh like that. He didn’t laugh at all, didn’t even smile, and nothing Enta did could bring it back.

And then Kuji came, and made him laugh, makes him laugh, in all the ways Enta couldn’t, and no matter how much Enta wants to hate Kuji for that he just can’t, because Kazuki is happy now, and it might not be in the same way but he loves Enta.

So, Enta’s content. He still gets caught up in daydreams, sometimes, but more and more often he stays grounded in reality, and just exists. It’s nice, even when he’s not doing anything but watching Kazuki and Kuji flirt with each other.

Or, more accurately, Kazuki flirts with Kuji, and Kuji gets increasingly angry-but-not-really. It’s almost funny, seeing him get so worked up. He turns red, and his cheeks puff up, but he doesn’t really protest, and he doesn’t brush Kazuki off. He just gets more and more puffed up and red. Enta thinks that one day Kazuki might go too far and Kuji will just explode.

Enta doesn’t blame him, though. If Kazuki flirted with Enta like that, he would probably explode too, or at the very least pass out. Kazuki flirts with teasing compliments and over-the-top English pet names like ‘darling’ and ‘sweetheart’. Once he called Kuji ‘baby’, and Kuji bit straight through his chopsticks. Right now, Kazuki’s squeezing his arm, making comments about how strong he is, in a way that’s probably meant to be joking but really isn’t. Kuji has been reduced to throwing out a feeble ‘shut up’ every two or so minutes, and he’s due for another right about now.

“Wow, you’re so muscular! I bet you could carry me around without breaking a sweat, huh, tough guy?” Kazuki’s grinning, that insolent grin that you want to be mad at, but you can’t, because it’s Kazuki.

“Sh-shut up.”

Ah, there it is. Enta sighs and shakes his head. They’re even more hopeless then he is. Sometimes he feels like he’s the only mature one around here. He doesn’t know when Kazuki started with his ridiculous flirting, but he suspects it was when they went on that date. Fake date. Fake flirting, too, Kazuki’s just doing it to be funny, though he has to know that’s not how friends act with each other—where did he pick it up? Enta sighs again, and pushes off the wall he was leaning against.

“I’m in the mood for ice cream. You two coming?” Enta says, graciously deciding to save Kuji. Enta knows he couldn’t handle that much attention if it were him, and Kuji looks like he’s about to burst.

“Oh, good idea, Enta!” Kazuki tugs on Kuji’s arm, pulling him over to Enta, and Kuji visibly shivers, despite the heat. Bastard. At least he appreciates being Kazuki’s crush. Enta doesn’t dislike him anymore, even when he’s being particularly obnoxious with his cool guy shtick, but if he made Kazuki feel like he was weird or creepy Enta would make sure he never saw the light of day again. Or, more accurately, he’d try and get his ass kicked. Kazuki wasn’t making it up—Kuji is strong, and he could probably carry both of them if he tried.

Enta shakes the idea out of his head. “Let’s go, ‘tough guy’, you’re paying,” he says. Kuji owes him, Enta thinks, for saving him from death by explosion.

Kuji, however, doesn’t seem to agree. He turns even redder, though now it must be from anger instead of flustered embarrassment. “Wha-screw you, why do I have to pay? And don’t call me that,” he adds, crossing his arms and hunching over.

“Aww, please, Toi? Just this once? Enta paid last time, and I’m broke.” Kazuki leans against Kuji’s shoulder, and takes his hand. Enta’s heart skips a beat. “Come on, darling, do it for me?”

“Ugh, Fine!” Kuji shoves Kazuki off and stomps away, but he’s still holding Kazuki’s hand. “I’m getting your least favorite flavor, Jinnai!”

“Sure thing, tough guy,” Enta calls back, and follows them. Kuji is a bastard, and a jerk with stupid hair, but he’s a lot of fun to rile up, so all in all Enta is glad they’re friends.

The three of them walk to the convenience store, ambling and teasing and talking about nothing important. It’s a sunny day, warm but not too hot, and there are big, puffy clouds in the sky, lazily drifting in the breeze. It’s the ideal summer day, the kind that Enta dreamt about when Kazuki was miserable. The kind that seemed so common in the past, but disappeared alongside Kazuki’s smile. Enta had almost forgotten days like this were real, not just figments of his imagination. He looks over at Kuji, who’s listening to Kazuki talk with a smile that on anyone else would be small, but looks huge on him. Kuji smiles more now, too. He’s a far cry from the angry delinquent he had been when they first met. Enta’s not sure how much he helped—he knows he made it worse, for a while—but he’s gotten a lot better. They've all gotten better, and no matter how jealous Enta might get, he knows the others won’t leave him behind.

When they get to the store, Kuji grumbles and mutters about having to pay, but he still gets Enta’s favorite flavor.

Enta wouldn’t trade a day like this for anything.

Chapter Text

Toi is about to claw his eyes out.

“Enta, look, I think this one would really suit you. Isn’t it cool?” Kazuki says, chin on Jinnai’s shoulder.

They’re all hanging out in Jinnai’s room, and Kazuki and Jinnai are looking at clothes on Kazuki’s phone, which would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that Jinnai is sitting in Kazuki’s lap. The idiot doesn’t even look like he’s enjoying it—he’s redder than a bad sunburn, and so stiff Toi is mildly concerned he’ll pull something. Kazuki, of course, hasn’t noticed, because Kazuki has all the observational skills of a rock. Toi supposes he could just think it’s normal for Jinnai, because it’s how he always acts around Kazuki. Though, now that Toi thinks about it, that’s not actually true. Most of the time, he seems completely normal, even when Kazuki’s being affectionate. It’s only when Kazuki gets really clingy, like now, that Jinnai shows any outward signs of having a crush, not counting the times he’ll just space out for minutes with a stupid dazed look on his face. Toi worries about him walking into traffic or something when that happens, but Kazuki just takes it in stride, so he’s probably never gotten hurt during one of his episodes. Right now, though, there’s a distinct possibility of him passing out. Toi thinks he might’ve forgotten how to breathe.

“Enta, what do you think, would this look nice on me?” Kazuki asks. Toi can’t see whatever he’s pointing at, but Jinnai isn’t even looking.

“Hhhhgh,” he replies.

“What?” Kazuki says, still blissfully unaware of his friend’s impending suffocation.

“It would look great,” Jinnai manages to squeak out.

“Aww, thank you,” says Kazuki. He looks at Toi. “Toi, you’re not bored, are you? We can find something else to do if you want.”

Jinnai looks simultaneously relieved and disappointed at the thought of being freed from Kazuki’s grasp.

“I don’t really care one way or the other,” Toi says. Jinnai seems to have settled on disappointed, though, so Toi follows it up with, “We should stay here. It’s too hot outside to go anywhere.”

Kazuki nods. “You’re right. Enta makes too good a pillow to move, anyway.” He squeezes Jinnai. Jinnai emits a sound not unlike a dying squirrel. “You know, Enta, I thought it was just because you were a kappa at the time, but you’re really huggable. You’re so warm and soft!”

Toi snorts. Jinnai is positive Kazuki doesn’t have any feelings for him, but Toi can see the way Kazuki looks at him. It’s different than how he used to, back when Toi first met them. At first he’d chalked it up to relief after Jinnai almost died, but then he saw Kazuki staring at Jinnai’s lips. Multiple times. Kazuki might have his weird fake-flirting thing with Toi, but that’s just Kazuki being Kazuki. What he feels for Jinnai is clearly the real deal.

Toi goes back to scrolling through his phone, and Kazuki and Jinnai continue shopping. They spend a while like that, just coexisting in the same place. It’s nice. Toi has had friends before, when he was little, but he’s never felt this comfortable around anyone else. After an hour or so, Jinnai’s breath hitches, breaking the silence.

“Ah, K-Kazuki? You’re kind of...tickling me,” Jinnai says.

Toi looks up. Kazuki has discarded his phone, and is nuzzling at Jinnai’s neck, looking more content than Toi’s ever seen him.

Maybe it’s time for Toi to leave them alone.
“I should probably head home,” he says, standing up and cracking his back. “My aunt and uncle get paranoid if I’m out too late.”

He’d expected Jinnai to be pleased to have Kazuki to himself, but surprisingly enough, he looks a bit bummed. Toi doesn’t get him sometimes.

“Wait, we’ll walk you home,” Kazuki says. He stands up too, but he doesn’t put Jinnai down, just shifts him to a more comfortable position. “You’re so light, Enta! I think you weigh more as a kappa.”

Jinnai looks like he’s expecting to come out of one of his daydreams any minute now. His eyes have gone all glassy, and his mouth is hanging slightly open.

“Well, he’s the shortest of us, so it makes sense he’s the lightest, too,” Toi says, as they leave the bedroom, Jinnai still being carried by Kazuki.

As expected, that snaps Jinnai out of it. “Hey!” he says, and he looks so comically offended Toi can’t help but laugh.

“Are we sure he isn’t a kappa right now?” He asks Kazuki. “‘Cause I can’t tell the difference. Not as cute, maybe.”

“Don’t be mean,” Kazuki says, but he’s laughing too. “Enta’s always cute!”

Toi worries for Jinnai’s heart.

When they reach the front door, Kazuki puts Jinnai down so they can both put on their shoes. Jinnai manages to stay standing for all of ten seconds before he collapses in a heap on the floor. Toi moves to help him up, but Kazuki just chuckles.

“You’re so weird, Enta,” He says, shaking his head. “Come on, we need to get Toi home before it gets too dark outside.”

Jinnai grabs onto Toi’s arm, and allows himself to be pulled up. He doesn’t let go right away, just squeezes tighter for a moment, before relaxing his grip. He must’ve still been a bit unsteady. Toi puts on his shoes, and they leave.

The walk back to the soba shop is nice. In the last remnants of sunset, everything looks softer, and the breeze is cool on his neck. Toi’s glad he lives here, he thinks. He’s glad, despite everything, that he didn’t have to leave. He’s not used to being able to spend the day goofing off like this. It’s like after his parents died his lungs stopped working right, like he couldn’t expand them all the way. He’d forgotten what it felt like, to be able to breathe easily. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve this, isn’t sure he does deserve it, but he’s already thrown his chances away twice now. He won’t do that again.

Kazuki and Jinnai are talking about soccer, and when Kazuki mentions Toi joining, Jinnai’s smile doesn’t have the fake cheeriness it used to. Toi doesn’t entirely understand Jinnai, but he’s grateful they’re friends now. Maybe it makes him greedy, but as good a friend as Kazuki is, he can’t stand the thought of Jinnai hating him. It’s ridiculous—Toi was fine without friends for years, but the thought of losing either of them leaves him feeling cold.

“Ugh, wait, hold on,” Jinnai says suddenly. “My glasses are all smudged.” Toi and Kazuki both stop as Jinnai uses his shirt as a makeshift cleaning cloth.

“It’s weird seeing you without glasses,” Toi says. “Even when you’re a kappa, you’ve got them on. I think this might be the first time I’ve seen you without them.”

It is weird. His face looks both younger and older, somehow. Toi had sort of thought that taking your glasses off was supposed to make you look more attractive, like it is in movies, but Jinnai just looks—different. Toi isn’t sure he likes it. Glasses seem like such an essential part of Jinnai. He loves soccer, is in love with Kazuki, and wears glasses. It’s unchangeable, something that makes up who he is, and even though realistically he knows they’re just glasses, the realization that Jinnai can so easily alter one of his landmark traits is unsettling. He hasn’t known Jinnai all that long. How much will he change? How quickly? Will he leave Toi behind?

“Well,” Jinnai says, still cleaning his glasses, “You might have to get used to it. I’m thinking of switching to contacts soon. It’s hard to play soccer in glasses, and if I get hit in the face I could lose an eye, you know?”

Toi stiffens. Already, Jinnai is changing into someone he won’t know, and Kazuki will too and he’ll be left alone again and he doesn’t want them to go he—

“Aw, don’t do that! You’re not Enta without your glasses,” Kazuki says, breaking through Toi’s panic. “I mean, for soccer it’s probably a good idea, but promise me you won’t stop wearing them most of the time, okay?”

Jinnai looks up at Kazuki. It’s almost impressive how he can still show so much wonder and adoration while squinting.

“Of-of course!”

Toi exhales softly. He doesn’t know why he got so worked up over that. It’s a silly thing to worry about. They’re just glasses.

“You know, not wearing glasses won’t make you hotter,” he says, and he doesn’t know why.

“Wha—excuse me! Just because—you—I’m not—Urgh!” Jinnai glares at Toi. His face is red with anger, and he’s clenching his fist, the one not holding the glasses. “Not all of us can be pretty boys, alright?”

Toi jerks back a bit. He’s made a mistake here, but he doesn’t know where.

“I just meant, you look fine,” He offers, as an apology. “So you shouldn’t feel bad, or anything. Because they suit you. The glasses. Yeah.” He trails off. His face feels hot. He hopes it’s not visible.

Jinnai doesn’t say anything. Toi, in response, also says nothing. They stand in silence. Having friends sucks.

“Okay!” Kazuki slaps them both on the shoulders, and they jump in harmony. “Let’s hurry, it’s getting dark. Enta, your sister will worry if you aren’t back soon.”

“Oh! Right, right,” Jinnai says. He puts his glasses back on, sparing a backwards glance at Toi before firmly turning his head away. Is he still mad? Toi isn’t good at apologies. He should’ve just said sorry like a normal person.

They walk the rest of the way in silence. It’s tense, but not as tense as Toi would’ve expected. Maybe Jinnai isn’t angry?

When they reach the soba shop, Toi turns around before he opens the door. “Thanks,” he says. Kazuki and Jinnai look at him. “For walking me home. Thank you. You should go home, too.”

“No problem,” Kazuki says, smiling. “It was fun.”

Jinnai nods. “See you tomorrow, Kuji.” He turns to leave, and Toi’s heart sinks. He is mad.

“Bye,” Toi says, and belatedly raises his hand to wave. Kazuki waves back. Has he even noticed anything’s wrong?

Jinnai takes a few steps, then stops. He turns back to Toi, and Toi’s breath catches. Jinnai’s eyes are bright, and he has an expression of pure determination. Behind him, a street light turns on.

“I’m going to kick your ass at soccer tomorrow, Kuji, so you better get some sleep, got it?”

“Right,” Kuji says. He doesn’t have any other choice. “You too.”

“Good.” Jinnai nods sharply, and marches away.

“Bye, Toi!” Kazuki follows him. Toi hasn’t put his hand down. He stands there, for a moment, before opening the door and heading inside. He says hello to his aunt and uncle, eats dinner, goes to his room, and lies down on his bed. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep for a long time.

He doesn’t realize until he wakes up that he fell asleep in his clothes.

Chapter Text

Kazuki has to do something. He’d thought that Toi and Enta just needed time, but after walking Toi home yesterday it’s clear that won’t be enough. They’re just so oblivious. It’s driving Kazuki up a wall.

They’re hanging out again today, and Kazuki has the perfect plan.

His phone buzzes as he’s putting on his shoes, and he knows before looking that it’s Enta. Nine times out of ten, if someone texts him, it’s Enta, especially now that Kazuki’s reconnected with Haruka. They actually talk in person now, so there’s no need for texting. Enta doesn’t really need to text him either; if Kazuki wants to talk to him, he’ll just wait until they’re together. Enta seems to like it, though. Kazuki thinks it’s maybe because he likes using the little faces—Kazuki doesn’t know what they’re called, or how Enta makes them, but he uses them all the time. It’s cute. He knows Enta wants to be cool, and he is, but he’s also so cute, sometimes. Like when he gets ice cream on his nose, and tries to lick it off with his tongue. It never works, but he tries every time. Or when he talks in his sleep. Kazuki doesn’t know what he dreams about, but he’s been sleeptalking for years, and the way he says Kazuki’s name when he’s asleep, all soft and mumbling, is one of Kazuki’s favorite things in the world.

It’s only when his phone goes dark that Kazuki realizes he’s just been staring at the screen without reading it. He laughs a bit–he was thinking about Enta, and he zoned out just like Enta does. It’s not exactly the same, of course, since Enta moves around a lot more, and he probably isn’t thinking of Kazuki when he does. Kazuki’s not sure what he does think about, actually. Probably soccer.

He turns his phone on again and, and pumps a fist in the air when he reads the message. Enta got roped into helping his sister with something, so he’s going to be late to hanging out with them.

It’s the perfect opportunity to talk to Toi alone, and Kazuki feels giddy just thinking about it. He knows how they both feel about each other, but they don’t, so it’s up to him to get them together.

He stuffs his phone in his pocket and finishes putting on his shoes. He’ll help them realize their feelings are mutual, and then they start dating, and do...whatever boyfriends do. Kazuki doesn’t really know much about dating, now that he thinks about it. Everything he does know is from Enta’s sister, and he doesn’t think Otone is a great example. Unless she is? She breaks up with her boyfriends a lot, though. Kazuki hates to think of Toi and Enta breaking up. He frowns. They fight all the time, but breaking up is–it’s different. They wouldn’t, though. They’re both too loyal for that. They care about each other too much to let one of their petty squabbles get in the way.

When he gets to Toi’s house, Toi’s just leaving, and Kazuki runs up to him.

“Hi, Toi,” Kazuki says, and he couldn't keep the smile off his face even if he wanted to, which he doesn’t.

“Oh—hi,” Toi says. ”What are you doing here?”

“Enta’s going to be late,” Kazuki says. “He texted us, did you not see?”

Toi turns to look at Kazuki so fast it looks like it hurts. He fixes Kazuki with an intense stare.

“Did something happen? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine,” Kazuki says. “Otone needed his help for something, but it won’t take long. He told us to start without him.”

“Oh,” Toi says. “Oh. Good.”

Kazuki smiles to himself. Toi might try to hide it, but it’s obvious he’s relieved. Toi would never admit it, but he practically dotes on Enta, always buying him sweets and making sure he’s staying hydrated and things like that. He’s so responsible and mature. He’d be the perfect boyfriend for Enta.

“Enta’s really great, isn’t he,” Kazuki says, keeping his tone light.

“I guess,” Toi says, and he sounds casual enough, but out of the corner of his eye Kazuki sees his shoulders go tense.

“I’ve been friends with him for a long time,” Kazuki says.

“I know.”

He’s just really nice, you know?” That makes Toi go even tenser, for some reason.

“He’s alright.”

“And funny, too,” Kazuki says.

“Not really,” Toi says, rolling his eyes.

This wasn’t working. Kazuki bites his lip.

“Do you ever think about dating?”

That gets a reaction. Toi whips his head around, eyes wide.

“I–I don’t–are you–what?”

“I’ve just been thinking, lately, about...stuff,” Kazuki says, “And it’s funny that none of us are dating anyone.”

“Uh,” says Toi.

“And I think Enta would be really good at dating, don’t you?”

“Um.”

“He’d be such a good boyfriend,” Kazuki says.“ He’s sweet, he’s caring, he’s handsome–”

“Oh look we’re here let’s stop talking about this now,” Toi says as they approach Enta’s home, all in a rush. His face is bright red, and he’s staring resolutely at the ground.

Kazuki’s pretty sure that counts as a success.

Enta’s waiting for them outside. When he sees how red Toi is, he bursts out laughing.

“Holy shit, Toi, did you get sunburned or something? You look like a tomato!”

Toi glares at him, but he doesn’t say anything, which is odd. Usually, he never lets Enta have the last word.

Enta keeps laughing as they start walking to their hangout spot, but it’s quieter, almost to himself. It’s a nice laugh. He’s not sure how he hasn’t noticed it before. Enta laughs a lot, but this one is a giggly sort of laugh, and he scrunches up his nose in a way that makes his glasses crooked. It makes Kazuki want to...do something. He’s not sure what. Pat his head, maybe?

“You have a really cute laugh, Enta,” Kazuki says.

Enta chokes, and starts coughing violently. Kazuki pats him on the head.

Toi groans and rubs his temples.

“You guys are so dumb,” he says.

Chapter Text

Enta flops face down on his bed and groans into the sheets. His glasses press against his face, and it’s really uncomfortable. He doesn’t care.

Kazuki and Kuji are acting weird.

Enta doesn’t know what’s going on with them, but clearly something happened. Ever since they both came to pick Enta up, they’ve been really weird around each other.

They’re being weird around Enta, too. Kazuki’s not as clingy towards Kuji as he usually is, but only when Enta’s in the room. Enta will leave to get a glass of water, and when he comes back Kazuki will be sitting right next to Kuji and whispering to him, but when he sees Enta he’ll immediately move away. He tries to play it off every time, but Enta’s not fooled.

Kuji’s just straight up avoiding them, but only when they’re together. He doesn’t even give good excuses. He’ll just say he has to go, and walk away. He’ll still spend time with Enta, and Enta knows he’s hanging out with Kazuki all the time, but the moment they’re all together he tries to leave. 

Enta thinks they might be dating.

It’s fine. It’s fine. Enta’s not angry, or upset, or anything. He’s been waiting for this for awhile, and he’s had plenty of time to come to terms with it. It’s fine.

It’s just—he’s always thought they’d tell him. He thought that they trusted him enough to let him know when they finally started dating. He doesn’t begrudge them for keeping it a secret, but he hadn’t expected them to keep it a secret from him.

Enta rolls over and stares at the ceiling. Maybe it’s because Kuji knows he had a crush on Kazuki—and yes, he maybe still has it, but he’s accepted that nothing’s ever going to come of it and they’re friends and that’s fine and he’s happy and it’s fine.  

He’s fine, but maybe Kuji doesn’t know that. Maybe he told Kazuki, and they agreed not to tell Enta because they don’t want him to be weird and clingy. He wouldn’t, of course, because he’s fine. 

Enta rubs at his eyes.

He wonders how they got together. Enta only noticed a difference when they both came to pick him up, but it might’ve been sooner than that. They arrived at Enta’s house together. Maybe they had a sleepover the night before. Maybe they had a heart-to-heart. Maybe they confessed to each other. Maybe—

Maybe they made out.  

His chest aches. Has that been what they do whenever Enta isn’t there? He thinks about how Kazuki will jump away from Kuji whenever Enta’s around, how they sit so close together when he’s not there. Is Kazuki whispering pet names in Kuji’s ear? Are they talking about where to go for their next date?

Do they resent Enta for interrupting them?

They’re probably all going to hang out today, because they all hang out basically every day, unless one of them is busy, even now that Kazuki and Kuji are also avoiding group hangouts. Which, now that Enta thinks about it, is really stupid. Why doesn’t Kuji just say he’s busy instead of going to meet up and then leaving as soon as they’re all together? Enta snorts. Kuji’s so dumb sometimes. Enta doesn’t get why Kazuki likes him. He’s dumb and stupid and not even good looking at all.

Enta hates him.

I hate you, he texts Kuji. Thirty seconds later, Kuji texts back okay. 

Kuji always responds within five minutes whenever Enta texts him. He’s so weird. Doesn’t he have anything better to do? He’s probably on his phone so often because he’s texting Kazuki. They probably text all the time without him.

Enta groans. He needs to think of something else. He opens Twitter and scrolls through it, but there’s nothing new. One of the sports accounts he follows has posted a video of part of an interview, but it’s about baseball, not soccer, so Enta doesn’t care. He keeps refreshing his feed for a while, but when his phone slips out of his hand and falls on his face for the second time, he decides that’s enough, and lays it down on the bed. Now his nose hurts.

He sighs. He’s so bored. 

He doesn’t have time to be bored for long, though; his phone buzzes, and he picks it back up less than a minute after putting it down. 

It’s from Kazuki. Enta sits up. It’s a message asking if Enta wants to come over. Alone. I want to talk before we all hang out, it reads, Just the two of us.

Enta stares at the screen. Just the two of us. He swallows. His metaphorical heart sinks to the pit of his stomach. His literal heart starts pounding. He doesn’t—he doesn’t know what Kazuki wants to talk about, not for sure. He might be completely wrong.

But no matter how hard he tries, he can’t make himself actually believe that.

Sorry, I’m busy right now, he responds, and puts his phone face down on the bed.

-

“Enta, one of your friends is—oh,” Otone says as she pops her head through the door. 

Enta tries to look like he’s asleep. It’s not too hard; he’d been dozing before Otone came in. He hasn’t mentioned it to Kazuki or Kuji, because it would make them worry, but he gets tired more easily now. The doctor said it’s nothing serious, that he just needs more sleep as he recovers, but he knows if either of them found out they’d get that it’s all my fault look they both get whenever his injury gets brought up. It makes running into other classmates a bit awkward, because it’s all they ever want to talk about. Enta’s kind of a legend now, which is cool, but he hopes it dies down before school starts back up, because he thinks Kazuki and Kuji might implode from guilt otherwise.

“Enta, are you awake?” Otone asks softly.

Enta keeps his eyes closed and doesn’t move. After a moment, Otone turns off the light and leaves. Faintly, he hears the front door open, and Otone says something he can’t make out. Enta can feel himself nodding off again. Distantly, he wonders whether it was Kazuki or Kuji who came over, but the allure of sleep is too inviting to think of it for long.

When he wakes up, the sun is low in the sky. He yawns. Otone frets about Enta napping too late in the day, but apparently recovering from a gunshot wound gives him immunity to insomnia. Silver linings, he supposes.

He checks his phone reflexively. There’s a message from Kuji.

I came over but Otone said you were asleep.

You okay?

Enta chews at the inside of his cheek. He thinks about ignoring it, but he doesn’t want Kuji to worry anymore than he probably is already.

I’m fine!! Just dozed off, he replies.

Cool.

It looks like Kuji’s going to say more, so Enta waits for a few seconds, but nothing else comes.

Cool. That’s fine.

-

Enta knows he’s not handling things very well, but for every time he sees a message from Kazuki he panics and turns his phone off. It’s stupid. He survived getting shot, he can survive his friends dating. It sounds even more stupid when he thinks about it like that.

Enta turns his phone on. Three messages from Kazuki. He can do this. He opens their chat.

Are you free today? 

Toi says he went over to your house yesterday and you were sleeping in the middle of the afternoon. Is everything okay?

Enta?

He can do this. Just be normal.

Sorry!! I wasn’t feeling good. I’m fine now though!!

We can hang out today if you want!

There. Enta takes a deep breath. That wasn’t so hard.

Great! Kazuki responds.

Enta tightens his grip on his phone. He can do this.

-

Enta absolutely cannot do this. 

It’s been ten minutes, and no one has said anything. They’re all just sitting around in the sun, doing nothing, and Enta is seriously about to lose it.

He’d spent so much time stressing over what Kazuki wanted to talk to him about, but when Kazuki came over all he said was ‘hi,’ and Enta told him Kuji wasn’t here yet, and then he’d frowned and said ‘oh, is Toi on his way already?’ and then he’d just sat in the kitchen chatting with Otone about her stupid new boyfriend instead of telling Enta about his stupid new boyfriend. And of course Kuji had to arrive right when his Grandma started doing the embarrassing routine older relatives always did of lamenting that Kazuki didn’t have a girlfriend yet, but don’t worry, he’d find his special someone soon, she just knows it, he’s so charming, after all! ‘Isn’t he charming,” she’d asked Enta, right as he opened the door, and he and Kuji made what was quite possibly the most awkward eye contact Enta had ever experienced. 

Shutting his bedroom door behind him was probably a bit unnecessary, but Enta doesn’t want Otone snooping in on their conversation.

If any conversation got around to actually happening.

“You know,” Enta says, “You guys can tell me anything.”

It breaks the silence, and the tension, a bit. Kazuki gives a puzzled little smile.

“I know? Obviously we can tell each other anything, we’ve all got a connection to each other. There’s no one I feel safer telling my secrets to now.”

“Good,” Enta says. Good. “So…”

Kazuki tilts his head, like he’s a puppy or something. “So?”

Kuji tips his chair onto two legs. Enta wishes he could scold him for it, but they’d both seen him doing the exact same thing too many times for him to get away with it.

“You’re all shifty,” Kuji says. “What’s up with you today?”

Fine. If they’re not going to take the opening Enta’s given them then he’ll just come out with it. He’s not letting this stick between them—what if it drives them apart? No. Enta has to show them he’ll be normal about it. He won’t come between them.

“I’d be fine with it, okay? I am fine with it. So you guys don’t have to keep tiptoeing around me,” Enta said, staring fixedly at the wall. “It’s fine if you’re—you’re going out with each other.”

Toi tips his chair back upright with a thud. “You—we—what? No, we’re not, we’re not— you’re the—”

Kazuki laughs, long and loud.

“Enta, we’re not dating,” he says, like it’s—like it’s ridiculous to even think that, and…

Toi’s shoulders are all hunched up. He’s not looking at either of them now.

Enta really doesn’t like that. 

He’d have thought, until this moment, that finding out Kazuki wasn’t dating someone who isn’t him would make him happy, but he’s not happy right now. He’s embarrassed, and wrongfooted, and—

He’s kind of mad.

No, he’s really mad. 

Enta can handle Kazuki trampling his feelings without realizing it. He’s used to it. But Kazuki is supposed to understand Toi. They’re supposed to be on the same wavelength, that’s the kind of friends they are. Toi needs someone who understands him. 

“You jerk,” Enta’s mouth says, before his brain catches up. He stands up, balling his fists. “You jerk, Kazuki. It’s—don’t laugh at the idea of dating someone. It’s not fair. Don’t—”

His brain catches up. He’s forgotten how he was going to end that sentence, along with what the hell he thinks he’s doing. 

“Enta,” Kazuki says, “What?” He sounds baffled, and a little hurt. 

They’re not dating. They’re not dating, and he just yelled at Kazuki when he knows Kazuki can be airheaded and thoughtless, and he’s probably never even considered that boys could date each other, just because Enta thinks about it all the time doesn’t mean everyone else does, Enta’s just—

He made it weird. Again.

Kazuki shifts himself onto his elbows, like he’s about to stand up too, and suddenly Enta feels like he’s trapped. He’s too aware of the door being closed behind him. Doing this in his room was a terrible idea. They’re both looking at him, and he thought he could handle them dating, but he can’t handle a conversation about feelings. Not now. He can’t be the matchmaking friend, that’s too much, he’s going to get jealous and make them feel bad, and he’s already made things awkward by assuming. What if they don’t get together at all now, because of him?

He knows as he does it that it’s stupid. They’re a trio. They’re supposed to be able to handle things all three of them, together, but his brain is too loud and full of panic to stop him, and the thought of having to explain anything to them is terrifying, right now, so he just says, “I have to go,” and runs. He turns around, opens his door, and leaves. He stops to put his shoes on, and starts running for real—No direction, no destination in mind, just running. 

He ends up at the soccer spot. Of course he does.