Archive of Our Own

Eight months

Taehyung wakes to fingers running through his hair. A low, content hum escapes his chest. Somewhere over him, Yoongi whispers, "Wanted to be the first one you hear it from. Happy birthday, Taehyung." 

Taehyung's sleepy smile blooms into a grin.  "What a sap," Taehyung giggles. Yoongi is perched on the edge of the bed in the sweater he knows Taehyung likes him in best. Yoongi smacks his arm softly in retaliation. "Sorry, sorry. Thank you."

"Hmm. Get up. Hyung made breakfast for you."

"Is that my surprise?" Taehyung asks. Yoongi rolls his eyes.

"I always make you breakfast, because you - "

" - burn the toast, I know," Taehyung finishes. The pout that Yoongi gives him looks very kissable. "If that's not my surprise, then what is it?"

"It's not a surprise if I tell you. Come on, get up. You've got five minutes or I'm taking the surprise back." Which they both know is a horrible lie, but Taehyung agrees anyway. Yoongi leans down to kiss his temple, light and soft and careful as always, before leaving him. Taehyung lets himself lay there for a moment longer. Lets himself soak up the gentleness of the morning; the warmth of the sun through the window, the smell of Yoongi, the far away hiss of a teapot. And then, after he has sufficiently etched each little sensation in his mind, he pulls himself up and out of bed.

Just as promised, breakfast is laid out on the table. Yoongi waits for him to eat first, just this once, and unabashedly preens under Taehyung's compliments. Taehyung loves these mornings where Yoongi is sleepy and giggly and Taehyung gets to whine loudly until Yoongi gives him the last strawberry. It's routine; tradition every weekend. It makes the chaotic weekdays bearable. On Wednesdays, when he's only seen Yoongi for a few hours during those three days, Taehyung can take a deep breath and think 'at least we have Saturday.' 

Yoongi stops Taehyung as he moves to gather their plates. "Later, Tae," he says, and chuckles at the confused look on his face. Taehyung always does the dishes after breakfast. While Taehyung might not be as tidy as Yoongi he still liked the routine of it all. It felt odd to not. "I want you to see your surprise."

"Is it you?" Taehyung asks in excitement as Yoongi leads him out of the kitchen by his hand.

"No," Yoongi laughs. “Maybe later.” Their apartment is a small but quaint place that serves them well enough. There's only two bedrooms; one they use for sleeping, and the other has been fashioned into a makeshift studio. Taehyung had helped put foam squares all over the walls and rearrange Yoongi's equipment so they would actually fit in the tiny room. They'd made it work, somehow, and even had room to have a spot for all of Taehyung's art supplies. Taehyung couldn't count the number of times he'd fallen asleep waiting for Yoongi to finish his work; curled up in the little papasan chair they'd shoved in the corner. Yoongi stops in front of the studio, and throws a grin over his shoulder. "I know it's soundproof, but try not to scream, Tae. You'll wake the neighbors up."

"What kind of kinky shit are you - "

Yoongi opens the door, and a tiny yip! fills the air. Taehyung feels his heart stop. "Happy birthday, baby," Yoongi tells him quietly; gives his hand a squeeze. "Go on, he missed you."

Taehyung is stumbling through the door in seconds; heart racing as he sees those brown little eyes staring up at him. "Tannie," Taehyung calls. He can’t stop grinning, but he can’t stop the burning behind his eyes, either. He takes a shallow, unsteady breath. "Tannie, oh my god." Taehyung tries to open the crate with shaking hands, but the latch clanks uselessly as Yeontan paces in small circles; barking impatiently. When door finally opens Yeontan leaps out. Taehyung scoops him into his arms, and tries his best to cradle the squirming dog to his chest. Yeontan makes it difficult, though, as he wiggles and tries to lick at the tears running down his face. "What the fuck? What the fuck?"

"Hey, don't use that sort of language around our son." Yoongi is kneeling beside them, and he's smiling but his eyes are careful. "I didn't want you to cry, Tae."

"What did you expect me to do?" Taehyung asks between his own quiet laughter. He can’t tell if he’s laughing out of disbelief or happiness or a weird; tearful mix of both. Yeontan has successfully twisted his body in Taehyung's arms to shower his cheek in kisses. Taehyung holds him tighter. "This is my baby, hyung."

"I know." Yoongi puts a hand on the back of his neck, and squeezes. "I just hate seeing you cry."

"But it's a happy cry. How did you - how did you get him here? They don't allow pets, how did you even - "

"I pulled some strings," Yoongi says, and reaches out to scratch behind Yeontan's ears. "Drove down to Daegu to get him this morning. Your mom made me bring home a ton of kimchi, by the way."

Taehyung manages a louder laugh through his tears; desperately tries to calm them but he hasn't seen Yeontan in almost a year.Their plans to visit their family had fallen through and it had been horrible to not see his family but Yeontan was his baby. "Thank you. Oh my god, this is the best surprise. I love you, thank you."

"I love you too, Taehyung," Yoongi replies, and means it.

Seven months

Taehyung stares in dismay at the pack of charcoal sticks sitting tauntingly on the display. "Why don't you just get them?" Jimin asks after a solid two minutes of Taehyung glaring at the price tag.

"They're over my budget," Taehyung sighs heavily, and forces himself to get the shittier; cheaper box.

"So? Who cares?" Jimin asks. He's a horrible friend to go shopping with because he enjoys other people's impulsivity. The amount of things Taehyung buys when going shopping with Jimin automatically doubles. 

"Me!" Taehyung huffs. "It's Yoongi's birthday in two months and I have to save every bit that I can."

Jimin swipes some paintbrushes from the shelf and puts them in the basket. "What the hell are you buying him that you have to budget down to the last won for?"

"A keyboard piano. His is super old and only works half the time. They're not even that expensive but I wanna get him a really nice one and I'm fucking poor." Taehyung had looked into a new soundboard, but immediately exited the tab the second he saw the price for a 'cheap' one. Maybe next year. "Besides, we're both already setting aside money for our anniversary trip. It's like, a never ending shit cycle of saving and I just wanna buy that really expensive set of markers ugh."

Jimin laughs softly, and pats his shoulder sympathetically. "You won't be complaining when you're both in Paris, Taehyung."

"You're right," Taehyung sighs, and wills himself to just remember that Paris and Yoongi are totally worth using the shitty charcoal that keeps breaking.

"I always am," Jimin sings immediately.

Taehyung snorts. "Yeah, cuz you were totally right five years ago when you thought putting blond and red hair dye together would totally make pink, Taehyung, trust me."

"We promised never to speak of that!" Jimin hisses, and looks around as if some great secret had just been spilled and Taehyung hadn't posted seventeen pictures of Jimin with shock red hair on Twitter back then. Taehyung expertly dodges the punch sent his way with a loud cackle. "You're such a brat." 

"But I'm your brat."

"Shut up and reach that paint for me."

"We really need to get you some heels, Jiminie - ouch!" Taehyung's side stung from Jimin's rather impressive high kick for the rest of the morning.

Six months

Yoongi's hum sends a shiver down Taehyung's spine. "Tae," Yoongi mumbles; voice dark and gruff and pretty.Taehyung is too busy pressing slow kisses down his throat to reply. "Taehyung. Slow down, we have all night."

"You can't stand there looking like this and not expect me to be impatient. You know what you're doing." Taehyung grumbles, but obliges anyway so he can give Yoongi the full force of his pout. Yoongi, button down shirt properly disheveled now, laughs softly.

"Jin hyung told me to bring the leather pants back out. Glad they worked." Yoongi's fingers run slow and meticulous through Taehyung's hair. Taehyung allows himself to bask in the feeling; closes his eyes the second time Yoongi’s fingers glide through his hair. Yoongi chuckles quietly again. "But I really don't want to have kitchen sex in front of our son. It's sort of weirding me out."

Taehyung turns to see Yeontan sitting at his empty dog bowl at the other end of the kitchen; staring at them both patiently. "...Okay, yeah, good point." But Taehyung still takes a moment to pull Yoongi back into a deep kiss; pressing him into the counter again one last time before he forces himself away. "Are you hungry, Tannie?" Yeontan's excited bark has Taehyung's heart melting. 

"I'll finish the dinner you so rudely interrupted," Yoongi says, and slides out of Taehyung’s grasp to wander back toward the stove.

"I didn't hear you complaining," Taehyung replies as he digs through the cupboards for the dog food.

"Can't say anything when your tongue is down my throat."

"That was your tongue down my throat."

Five months

Taehyung is nervous all day. It's not a huge deal. It's not like he's proposing, but Yoongi had always been tough to buy presents for. Not because he's picky, but because he's not. Yoongi is happy with any and all presents given to him. He is just as happy getting the same coffee from Taehyung every afternoon as he is a nice wine set. Taehyung is the greedy one. He wants to make Yoongi excited about the things he gets him. Yoongi always manages to find gifts, even small, that make him ecstatic. But any time Taehyung would ask Yoongi what he would really like, or what things he can get him every so often just because he thinks about it he's met with the same few responses - "hyung is fine with anything" or "anything you get me will make me happy" or "I don't need anything, Tae, just you is more than enough" which is great and sweet but it's not helpful in the least. Taehyung just wants one thing, even small, that makes Yoongi's face light up. He's hoping a high end keyboard will do the trick. Which makes him nervous, and antsy. He wants to show him already but they spend all day out in town because their friends had demanded a day together to celebrate. Yoongi is happy which is all that matters but the whole time Taehyung is a mess inside wondering if Yoongi will like the present at all. Maybe he wants to keep the old piano. Maybe it wasn't enough. Maybe he should have gotten some wine to go with it, and some flowers. Maybe he should have cooked dinner. Maybe he should have put a bow on it?

"It's not much," Taehyung says; voice nervous and hands showing it just as much, "but I hope you like it." And then he opens up the studio door, and watches Yoongi step inside.

The bow - or lack thereof - ends up not mattering, after all, when Yoongi gasps loudly and hurries to the keyboard. Taehyung had set it up early that morning while Yoongi was still asleep before he cooked breakfast (no burnt toast, this time, he'd been extra careful) and had spent the entire time they were still home making sure Yoongi didn't step foot near the room. It's sleek and slim and white because that just felt more Yoongi than the plain black ones and supposedly state of the art but Taehyung doesn't really know the difference. "Taehyung," Yoongi breathes; fingers flying over the keys. There's this excited lilt to his voice, and he spins around to face him. "Taehyung, I love it."

And there it is. That wide grin, those bright eyes, the elation shown so easily on his face. That was what Taehyung had been searching for all along. Now that he had seen that look, though, Taehyung knows he is neck deep in greed. The look wasn't gone yet, as Yoongi turns back excitedly toward the keyboard again, but Taehyung already knows he'll miss it the second it calms. When Yoongi exclaims, "Taehyung, I love it," for the third time Taehyung thinks idly that broken charcoal was worth it. Worth him.

Four months

Taehyung is curled up on the couch watching Our Planet when Yoongi comes home. Taehyung twists around to greet him. "Welcome home," he calls; watches Yeontan hop down off the couch to run to Yoongi. Yoongi is a dark smudge in the dim foyer as he takes his time putting all of his things down.

"Thanks." Yoongi sounds tired, but he still coos at Yeontan happily. "Hi, baby. Have you eaten?"

"Are you talking to me or Yeontan?" Taehyung asks.

Yoongi laughs. "Both."

"Yeah, I ordered takeout. Yours is in the fridge," Taehyung says as he turns back to the television. The camera follows a cheetah as it slinks around in search of prey. "How was work?"

"Boring as fuck. Hoseok had to wake me up for lunch." Yoongi's voice is getting closer. "While we were out I saw something. Made me think of you. Here."

Taehyung blinks up to see Yoongi beside the couch; holding a stuffed animal out toward him. It's a lumpy little giraffe with a heart sewn onto its side. It was small and probably cheap and Taehyung loved it.

Taehyung takes it with a wide grin. “It’s so cute! I love it. Thank you for enabling me, hyung,” Taehyung says with a giggle, and Yoongi leans down to accept his kiss. 

“Someone’s got to. Half our room is just gonna be stuffed animals soon.”

“And you have no one else to blame but yourself!” Taehyung chirps. "You always get me nice things, hyung. I feel kind of bad."

"Don't," Yoongi replies firmly, but the smile he wears is soft. "It's mostly for selfish reasons. That look on your face when you get something you really like is my favorite. Hyung is just being greedy."

Taehyung blinks up at him. Maybe they were more alike than he anticipated. 

Three months

Taehyung feels something soft hit his shoulder. He knows before he looks down just what it is. "Seriously," Taehyung says, and his affection must be obvious in his voice because Jungkook fakes a gag from his place beside Jimin. "I told you to go to sleep earlier last night." Yoongi doesn't answer, but does take a moment to further hide his face against Taehyung's arm. 

"That's probably my fault," Namjoon speaks up. He's somehow managed to fit himself beside Jin in the love seat. "I text him asking about one of our tracks and we ended up working on it for a lot longer than expected."

"And no one is surprised," Hoseok remarks. His eyes are glued onto the three solo cups he has managed to grip as he walks into the living room. Jimin makes a strangled noise before rushing up to help him before he walks into the coffee table. "Oh, thanks, Jimin."

Jimin huffs. "I can't relax with any of you," he grumbles before setting the drinks down and wedging his way back in between Jungkook and Taehyung on the couch. 

"I'm hungry, let's get chicken," Jungkook whines loudly.

"It's one a.m., Jungkook," Namjoon replies incredulously. Jungkook stares back at him, confused and wide eyed. Namjoon sighs in defeat. "I don't know why I even tried." 

"I payed for our first dinner." Jin takes a long drink of whatever concoction Hoseok made him before continuing, "Yoongi can get this one."

"First? What are we, hobbits?" Namjoon asks no one in particular.

"We're growing men, is what. Someone feed me." Jungkook has taken to sliding lower and lower down the couch to match his quickly deepening pout. 

"Yoongi is comfortable," Taehyung says with a glance down. Sure enough, he hadn't moved an inch; cheek still squished against his shoulder, small frown on his face, arms curled loosely around Taehyung's arm. "And I would literally rather eat my own arm before I would move him."

"Oh my god, you're whipped, we get it." Hoseok rolls his eyes so excessively Taehyung is slightly impressed. "Just grab his wallet, he won't care."

"Paris is only four months away! No way in hell. We can't afford to feed you bottomless pits right now." Taehyung argues as he tries to carefully fix the blanket that had slipped off of Yoongi's shoulder. 

"Speaking of, you're gonna get us something nice, right?"

"Ooh, make a list! I want wine. And some pastries. Buy them the day you come back so they don't go bad."

"What about like, a scarf? I feel like they would have nice scarves. Is that a thing?"

"If you buy me a shitty key chain our friendship is over."

Yoongi stirs suddenly, and picks his head up to glare at everyone. "Oh my god, can you all shut up for like two goddamn minutes? I'm trying to fucking sleep."

"Your friends are here. Why are you sleeping? Socialize, why don't you?" Jin looks unfazed by the sleepy glare turned his way, and takes another slow sip of his drink. "Anyway, while you're awake, your budget can afford a few boxes of fried chicken, right?"

"And beer!"

"Fuck off, I'm going back to sleep." Yoongi twists his body to better hide behind Taehyung, who laughs and pats his knee. "By the way," Yoongi speaks up; voice muffled. "Jimin skipped his turn paying. It was supposed to be him tonight, but everyone forgot."

"GOD DAMMIT, HYUNG, I WAS SO CLOSE - "

"Oh my god, Park Jimin, you little shit - "

Taehyung grins as he hears Yoongi's quiet laughter behind him. 

Two months

Taehyung loves Yoongi a lot. He loves a lot of different Yoongis, too. Sleepy Yoongi, drunk Yoongi, I'm getting emotional but don't want you to know Yoongi. But one he loves the most is this - the Yoongi that sits, calm and focused, behind a steering wheel. Back before they had even begun dating, he and Taehyung would take long rides around town. It helped clear their heads, and Yoongi loved the excuse to drive. It worked out well for Taehyung, as well, because he loved watching Yoongi drive. It gave him a good reason to just watch him; watch the light hit him and change; watch the scenery fly by. Let him just enjoy Yoongi's quiet presence. He also adored the playlists Yoongi curated for long drives. He had one for different moods, different weather, how long or short the drives were. It was fascinating to see the flow of the songs meld together, and how easily the songs could affect the tone of the entire ride. 

Daegu is only a few hours away. Not long at all, but long enough to warrant one of Yoongi's favorite playlists. Going Home he called it. The first time Taehyung had asked him about that playlist, they had been four months into dating. They'd been at a red light, and Yoongi had turned his head to him to say very seriously, "They all remind me of you. At first it was just Daegu, but then it changed and now it's just - now it's just you. Only you." and god had Taehyung been so, so in love.

He feels a little like that, now - that sweeping; all encompassing feeling as he watches Yoongi drive quietly. Taehyung has his seat as far back as Yoongi would allow him before he deemed it unsafe. In the back seat, carefully situated on a pile of blankets, was Yeontan sound asleep. Going Home was turned up just enough that the words reached his ears without much effort, but he could drown them out if needed.

Yoongi casts a quick glance toward Taehyung, and immediately huffs out a laugh. His cheeks are turning red. "Every drive, Taehyung. This is getting ridiculous. Why do you always stare at me like that?"

"You're pretty," Taehyung says matter-of-factly, because it is undeniably true. No matter how many times Taehyung tells him (and it is quite a lot) Yoongi always gets so embarrassed. This is no exception, as the blush comes full force up his neck and settles at the tips of his ears. "Even prettier when you're embarrassed."

Yoongi blindly swats at Taehyung, and misses by a good few inches of air. "Oh my god, shut up, you're so shameless."

"I can't help it. It's true."

One month

Taehyung frowns down at his phone. He hadn't heard from Yoongi for three hours now, which was very unusual. He would, even when busy, at least text Taehyung to let him know. But blue filled the screen of Taehyung's phone - a testament to his slow evolution of mild concern over the passing hours. Maybe he was just overthinking it, just like he does so many other things. Maybe Yoongi and Namjoon just got really into working on a song and have their phones on silent. Maybe Yoongi's phone died. Maybe it's broken. Maybe Taehyung should call him, just in case. Something didn't feel right. Maybe Taehyung should message Namjoon. Maybe Yoongi just hasn't looked at his phone. Maybe he - 

Taehyung's phone starts vibrating wildly; nearly making him fall out of his chair in surprise. Yoongi's name on the screen makes a wave of relief crash over him, and he fumbles with his phone in his attempt to answer. "Hyung!" Taehyung feels like he could finally breathe. "Hyung, I was so worried! Where have you been? I text you like ten times - "

"Taehyung." That was not Yoongi's voice. Taehyung feels himself freeze in place. Something is wrong. Namjoon's voice sounds gruff and somber. "I don't want you to freak out, but - " Which was the worst thing to say to someone if you didn't want them to freak out. Taehyung immediately starts to panic; his heart kicking against his chest viciously. " - we got into a small accident. We're at the hospital, but we're okay. We're in one piece, so don't panic, okay?"

Taehyung nearly drops the phone in his haste to gather his things. His chair clatters to the floor as he stands, but he hardly has the wherewithal to focus on Namjoon's voice carefully telling him to calm down and breathe much less fix his stupid office chair. Taehyung only manages to breathe out, "Where?" as he shoves his wallet into his bag and rushes out of the door.

Namjoon tells him the name of the hospital in the same tone he had been using the whole time - quiet, and reassuring like Taehyung is some cornered wild animal. He sort of felt like it. "He's fine, we're fine. Just shaken up. The car is totaled. We got t-boned at a light. It hit Yoongi's side - " Taehyung hears himself make a strangled noise at that as he shoves his way through the stairwell's door. He feels too restless to take the elevator, and instead takes the stairs three at a time. "Taehyung, I promise he's okay. He's bruised a good bit but he's fine."

"Then why isn't he the one talking to me?" Taehyung asks. His voice already sounds horrible; pressed and squeezed past his lungs as though it hurt to even talk. It feels sort of like what Yoongi had always told him panic attacks feel like - a horrible weight around your lungs, your neck; hands shaking and heart pounding. Oh, Taehyung thinks as he jumps down five stairs and barely grimaces at the sting it gave the heels of his feet, am I having a panic attack?

"He's shaken, Taehyung. He hasn't talked since we got to the hospital. After it happened all he would say was apologies to me. I... He's shaken real bad, Taehyung. I've never seen him like this. So this is what I need you to do. Are you listening?" Taehyung nods; can't find the energy to reply out loud. Namjoon keeps going regardless. "It's okay to be scared, Taehyung. That's completely okay. But right now you need to be there for Yoongi, okay? And you can't do that if you pass out before you even reach us. So I need you to take deeper breaths, okay? You're going to hyperventilate at this rate."

Taehyung hadn't even realized that he had been breathing so loudly; shallow, gasping breaths that were less from his marathon down three flights of stairs and more his mind going in terrifying circles. "Okay," Taehyung croaks; forces himself to stop just before the first floor door and take a handful of slow, deep breaths. His hands are still shaking, but his lungs didn't feel like they were aflame as badly as before. "Okay," he says again when he's as calm as he thinks he can be. "Thank you. I'll be there soon. Please just - just watch him, please."

"I won't leave his side, don't worry. Text me when you get here, and I'll bring you to our room."

The thirty minute taxi ride to the hospital is excruciating. Taehyung has to stop himself from bombarding Yoongi's phone with text messages. He thinks vaguely that the taxi driver is annoyed with him constantly shifting around and bouncing his leg but neither of them have said a word since Taehyung had hurriedly blurted the hospital's name the second he wrenched the door open. The mood is somber and Taehyung just wants to get there already, was traffic always this bad?

Namjoon meets him in the hospital foyer. He's got a bandage on his forearm and his cheek is bruised but all in all he's walking and talking and fine and Taehyung has to stop himself from crying when he sees him. "I'm so glad you're okay. You're okay, right?" Taehyung asks after they disentangle from their tight, near desperate hug. 

"I'm okay. Just a bit sore. Come on, it took me long enough to get him to let me leave." Namjoon ushers Taehyung deeper into the hospital, and explains as they carefully dodge the loose crowd milling around the main floor. "He's been glued to my side the whole time. He just kept apologizing to me after it happened. I think he was more scared of me getting hurt than himself. I haven't gotten a word out of him. Doctors say he's probably in shock. They gave me a brief run down of everything - he's just got some whiplash, said he'd probably have upper body soreness for a month after it. They wanna keep him for a bit longer since it was on his side of the car, and make sure he isn't concussed. The worst outwardly is the cuts from the glass, but they're all minor. This is the best we could have hoped for, to be honest. We're all in one piece. The other driver is, too. We should be thankful, but it's hard to see him like this. I won't lie and say differently."

Taehyung's mind is reeling as they squeeze their way into an elevator. He's having a hard time wrapping his head around everything Namjoon has said. Taehyung can't manage to answer him at all; just stares up at the number above him as it crawls up at an excruciating pace. The second time the door opens and Namjoon has to hold Taehyung back because it's not their floor to get off, he mumbles again that Yoongi is okay. It doesn't help.

By the time they're on Yoongi's floor, Taehyung is power walking ahead of Namjoon even though he has no idea what room Yoongi is in. "Three hundred and eight," Namjoon calls. Taehyung manages a nod, and quickens his pace. "On the left!"

It takes all of Taehyung's willpower not to slam the door open. "Hyung," Taehyung calls as he enters; can't help but notice the edge in his voice. He's going to remain as calm as he can for Yoongi but god is he scared to see him hurt. Just as he rounds the corner into the room he sees Yoongi stumble past the doctor in front of him. Taehyung tries his best to be careful as he wraps his arms around Yoongi; tries not to hold him as tightly as he wants to. Yoongi seems to have no qualms with it, however, as his grip around Taehyung's waist is like a vice. He's shivering, or maybe Taehyung is, or maybe they both are. Taehyung presses a careful, lingering kiss on Yoongi's temple. "Hyung, I was so - I'm so - god. Are you okay?" Yoongi nods, just barely. "Okay. Okay, good."

"Are you his partner?" Taehyung looks up to see the doctor, an older woman with kind eyes and skewed glasses, smiling at them. Taehyung nods, and her smile widens. "Alright. I'll need you to help him go through some paper work for us later. Our important tests are done, so I'll let you have your privacy. I'll be back to speak with you both later."                                                                                               

"Thank you," Taehyung says, and tries to bow as much as he can with Yoongi still latched to him. The doctor gives them a small chuckle, amused and warm, before leaving them. The second the door closes behind her, Taehyung's eyes are back on Yoongi. "Hyung, Namjoon told me what happened. How are you feeling? Do you need to sit down?"

"Namjoon?" Yoongi lifts his head up just enough to peer around the room. There are small bandages dotting the right side of his face that make Taehyung's stomach swoop in discomfort. "Where's Namjoon-ah?"

"He's coming, don't worry. He's fine," Taehyung reassures him quickly. Yoongi frowns, deep and slow, before burying his face in his chest again. "You know he's fine, right?"

Another small nod from Yoongi. "He got hurt." Yoongi's voice is muffled and soft and Taehyung has to lean down just to hear him. "Because of me."

"No, you're the one that got hit. How was it your fault?" 

"I should have been watching. I should have seen them run the light. I should have - " The door opens, and Yoongi's head whips up towards it. "Joon-ah," he says.

Namjoon smiles. "Told you I'd be right back, hyung. It's okay. What did the doctor say?"

Yoongi frowns; scrunches his nose. "I gotta take a fuck ton of medicine."

"Well," Namjoon chuckles. "Could be worse. Are they gonna make you get that head scan?"

"No," Yoongi mumbles. He presses his cheek against Taehyung's chest. His arms aren't so tight, now, and Taehyung feels like he can finally relax now that Yoongi is, too. "Gotta stay for a few more hours though just in case."

"Let's get comfy, then," Taehyung says, and begins their awkward two person shuffle back toward the bed a few feet away. "I feel like a nap. What about you, Namjoon hyung?"

Namjoon walks over to join the two as Taehyung carefully ushers Yoongi onto the bed and under the covers. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve had in a while.”

"What? But what about the taco truck?"

"You see one American indie show about taco trucks and suddenly you think you're just going to be able to make a business out of it yourself?" Namjoon asks; amusement lining his words.

Taehyung huffs, and slides in beside Yoongi; tugging Yoongi into his chest as closely as possible. Once Yoongi is situated in his arms with careful precision, Taehyung pats the empty part of the bed. Namjoon obliges easily, and mumbles an apology when he almost elbows Yoongi's back trying to get comfortable. "Well maybe I could have if my friends would have supported me."

"Your friends know you don't even know how to work a frying pan that well, much less an entire truck of cooking equipment - "

"Hush, both of you, god," Yoongi whines loudly, and reaches back blindly for Namjoon. Yoongi winces slightly at the movement, but is determined to grab Namjoon's arm anyway. Namjoon easily complies, and wraps his free arm over both of them. Yoongi makes a pleased noise at this, and shimmies down further in the bed. "It's nap time. Sacred time. Hush."

"Sir, yes, sir," Taehyung chuckles, and gives his forehead a kiss. Finally, it feels like his heart has calmed down with Yoongi in his arms and Namjoon's steady breathing filling the room. Everything was fine. Everything would be fine. They could handle this.

"I'm okay," Yoongi whispers. He's staring up at him like he knows Taehyung's mind is still going around and around in a frenzy even though his body has finally relaxed. Maybe he does. "I'm okay."

"We're all okay," Namjoon speaks up; gives them both a comforting squeeze. "All three of us. Okay?"

"Yeah," Taehyung sighs; can't help but feel like he's the one getting taken care of instead of the two injured men beside him. "Yeah, okay. You're right. We're okay."

Twenty Four Days

Yoongi has been quiet all day. It was a bad day for him, as a storm had rolled into town earlier that morning and was still lingering late into the afternoon. His still mending aches would flare up badly during storms, and they had been getting a lot of rain recently. Taehyung always hurries home on those days, now, armed with warm soup and pain killers and scented candles.  Yeontan makes a point to curl up on Yoongi's stomach when his pain is particularly bad. It's a sight that greets Taehyung when he comes home that afternoon - Yoongi, sprawled out on the couch on his back with a large layer of blankets thrown over his body, and Yeontan curled into a ball on top of it all. They're both fast asleep, so Taehyung tries his best to put the groceries away quietly.

Taehyung is warming the soup up when he hears Yoongi stirring around. "Hyung?" He calls, but only receives a groan in answer. "I have your pain meds. Hold on." By the time Taehyung makes it over to the couch with a glass of water and a few pills, Yoongi is slowly sitting up. Yeontan sneezes at Yoongi in annoyance at being woken up, and angrily plops down on the other end of the couch. Yoongi quietly thanks Taehyung when he accepts the glass of water. "Are you hungry?" Another quiet nod. "Good. It'll be ready in a little bit."

Taehyung had gotten better at cooking now that Yoongi was mostly (and infuriatingly, to himself) encumbered. Yoongi had just begun to be able to return to work, but he still had to take everything slowly and carefully. Yoongi, who loves taking care of others and hates having attention brought to himself, hates every second of it. Taehyung can see it in the way Yoongi gets frustrated when he has to ask Taehyung to reach something up high for him, or when he wakes up in the mornings stiff and sore and more exhausted than the night before. It's even worse on stormy days.

Yoongi has started counting down the days on their kitchen calendar to when the doctor said he would fully recover. Taehyung didn't miss how Yoongi had silently crossed out Paris!! from September after they'd gotten their first hospital bill. He had a feeling that had stung Yoongi more than the accident itself, but neither of them had brought it up yet.

Yoongi doesn't talk the rest of the afternoon except to thank Taehyung for his help. After dinner, and an episode of Dogs on Netflix, Yoongi asks Taehyung to help him take a shower. "Why don't you take a bath?" Taehyung asks softly, because that day is made for quiet; for the thunder muffled against their apartment walls, for rumbling teapots, and the television turned down low. It's quiet hums and the gentle rustling of blankets and soft sighs and gentle warmth from the heated blanket wrapped carefully around Yoongi. "We have some of that lavender bath stuff left."

"Okay," Yoongi agrees, and watches Taehyung leave to draw the bath.

It is careful work getting Yoongi out of his clothes and into the bath, and soon Yoongi is sighing as he sinks further into the water. There's a pout on his lips, deep and subconscious, so Taehyung pours the lavender bath oil in the water until the smell fills the room and leaves Yoongi to himself. Taehyung takes time to throw Yoongi's favorite pajamas - Taehyung's old pajamas, large and fluffy on Yoongi - into the dryer, and feeds Yeontan, and puts more tea on, and lights some more candles. And when he has exhausted things for him to do it's been fifteen minutes, and the clothes are perfectly warm now so Taehyung returns to the bathroom.

Yoongi is in the same position as he was when Taehyung left him; staring at the opposite wall idly. "Hyung." Yoongi jolts, a little, and blinks up at Taehyung. "The water is probably getting cold. Do you want to get out?"

Yoongi sighs again, long and slow and aching. "Not yet. Still a bit warm. Sit with me?" And so Taehyung does; sits criss-crossed on the floor beside the tub. Yoongi rests his head against the edge of the bathtub to look at Taehyung through his eyelashes. "I don't think I've said it yet, but I'm sorry."

Taehyung furrows his eyebrows. "Huh? What for?"

"All of this." Yoongi waves a hand flippantly in the air before curling it back into his chest. "Making you take care of me. Totaling the car. Ruining Paris."

"Well," Taehyung begins, and watches as Yoongi's face scrunches up like he expects Taehyung to start complaining. "All of those things aren't something to apologize for, because they're not your fault."

Yoongi frowns, and sits up with a huff. He shrugs off the hand Taehyung tries to guide his back with. "How is it not? If it hadn't happened then we would be looking into like, fucking cafes to go to or some shit right now. Not figuring out the best way to pay off medical bills and finding another shitty ass car."

"The other driver was the one at fault, not you. You can't blame yourself for things like this just because you're scared of the lack of control you had over the situation." Yoongi stares wide eyed at him just as he does every time Taehyung says something that hits too closely to home for him. Sometimes it's like Yoongi forgets that Taehyung knows him as well as Yoongi knows Taehyung. "And never assume that taking care of you is something like an inconvenience to me, hyung. I love you. Why would I ever be upset at making sure you're okay?"

"But I... I just - I - " Yoongi huffs, and drags a hand through his hair in frustration. He looks fierce, but weary like that; hair pushed off his forehead, water blazing trails down his body as he glares at nothing in particular. His eyes are tired, but his words are where the real exhaustion manifests. "I just, I just wanted... You were so excited. We were so excited. It was supposed to be something special, but now it's just - now it's all messed up, and you have to cater to me like I'm some sort of child. Aren't you frustrated? Sad? You haven't even said anything. You haven't complained once, and I should be happy about that, right? Right? So why do I feel worse? Why do I feel like I shouldn't - like, if you don't have a problem with it, why does it bother me so badly? I want to just move on, but we haven't even said a word about any of it, and - and I'm just - " Yoongi stops himself, and takes a large, shuddering breath. His eyes are red and brimming with tears when he finally looks at Taehyung. "Why haven't you said something?"

"Oh," Taehyung says, because he thinks suddenly that he's been going about this whole situation all wrong. "Oh," he says again, because the sudden realization rushes him with guilt and regret and why didn't he say something? Of course he should have. "Oh, Yoongi, no, I'm sorry." Taehyung is climbing onto his knees to reach over the tub and pull Yoongi into his arms. Yoongi's body is too-warm against his, and Taehyung's shirt is already soaked but that doesn't matter as much as Yoongi, who's sniffling into his chest. "I didn't even - I thought that was what you wanted. To not talk about it. You know how you like to just be quiet by yourself, and I thought that was like this, but of course it's not. This is so much more than usual. I should have thought about it more, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to - I didn't want you to deal with it alone, I'm sorry. I should have said something, I just thought - " Taehyung shook his head; held Yoongi tighter. "It doesn't matter what I thought. I'm sorry. We can talk about it. Let's talk about it right now. Or is it too much right now? We can talk about it after some tea. Is that okay?"

"Yeah," Yoongi mumbles; sighs into his chest. "Yes. That's fine. Sorry to... I didn't mean to like, have a meltdown, I just couldn't stop thinking about it and - "

"No, no, don't apologize. I'm the sorry one, okay? You had every right to that. We'll have some tea and we'll talk about it a lot and we'll turn the heating blanket up as far as it will go and I'll light your favorite candles and we can have some of those sweets your mom sent us, okay?" Yoongi nods. "Do you want to get out now? Later?"

"It's cold," Yoongi replies.

"Alright. I put your pajamas in the dryer. Let me go get them and we'll get you out."

Yoongi is watching Taehyung closely when he comes back in the room with the bundle of warm clothes. "You're too good to me, I think. You put them in the dryer?" Yoongi chuckles quietly as Taehyung helps him step out and towel off. "I'm not even hurt that badly. What did I do to deserve you, Kim Taehyung?"

"Exist, I imagine," Taehyung hums, and grins at the eye roll Yoongi shoots him. Taehyung begins to dry off Yoongi's hair while he pulls on his boxers and pajama pants. "Stay still, will you?"

"I'm trying to get dressed!"

"I'm trying to dry you off!"

Yoongi huffs loudly, and glares up at him but it's more a scrunched nose than a real scowl. Taehyung allows himself a moment to poke the tip of his nose. "I take it back. You're a nuisance, Kim Taehyung." But Yoongi stands on his tip-toes to kiss his forehead, anyway.

"But you love me," Taehyung says brightly. Yoongi's smile matches his, and Taehyung feels like he hasn't seen it in so long. Something warm and content stirs in his chest.

"I do," he agrees.

September

Taehyung wakes to fingers running through his hair. Soft and slow, Taehyung wakes up. Yoongi is there, and his smile blooming; unfurling as soft and slow as Taehyung had. "About time," Yoongi chuckles; pauses to carefully untangle his fingers from his hair. "good morning, baby. Happy anniversary."

Taehyung grins. Somewhere from the end of the bed, Yeontan yawns loudly. "Happy anniversary. I was supposed to wake up before you, you know."

"Mm. I know. I turned off your alarm last night. There's no rush." As if to emphasize his point, Yoongi leans down to brush a feather light kiss against Taehyung's ear. "I know we said we'd play it by ear, but I found this cafe last night. Supposed to be cute and, I quote, Paris in Seoul. Figured we should get as close as we can."

Taehyung giggles. "That sounds good. Breakfast there? Do they sell crepes?"

"Could it claim to be Paris in Seoul if they didn't?"

"Good point. Help me pick out an outfit? Something that feels like Paris. To match the theme," Taehyung says as they slowly escape the warm confines of their bed. Yeontan, however, refuses to move from his spot and instead stares at them while they shuffle toward the closet. 

"You have about ten berets too many. I think you'll be fine with whatever you pick." And Taehyung does end up having one too many berets to choose from, so he and Yoongi play rock paper scissors for their favorite one. Yoongi wins, so Taehyung wears the dark grey, but Taehyung wins the next one so he wears the cardigan instead of the jacket. "This will take entirely too long if we keep this up. Just fucking pick one, you pain in the ass," Yoongi grouches by the third tie that's supposed to help them choose Taehyung's shoes. 

"Alright, fine, but only if you promise to wear a sweater, too. We have to coordinate!"

"The fuck we do," Yoongi snaps, but even as he complains loudly he's pulling a thin grey sweater perfect for the warm weather out of his side of the closet. "This is supposed to be an anniversary date, not fucking family picture time."

"You love couple items, quit lying," Taehyung laughs. "Do I need to remind you about the last time you saw a pair of mickey mouse rings, made us get two sets so we could both have Mickey - " Taehyung ignores Yoongi's exclamation that it wasn't his problem male couple items were fucking impossible to come by, and continues on, " - and would not let me take it off for like two weeks?"

"They were fucking cute, so sue me," Yoongi grumbles, and he looks so cute pouting that Taehyung peppers his cheeks in kisses. Despite Yoongi's loud protests, he looks remarkably more pleased than before. "Let's get some damn crepes."

So they get the damn crepes, and coffee that's maybe a bit too sweet for so early in the morning. The cafe is on a quiet street, but it's packed with people hurrying off to work and tourists and giggling friend groups, so they leave as soon as they finish their food. The street is cute, though, so Taehyung convinces Yoongi to take a few pictures for him. They're mostly shots of Yoongi's back; standing on the cobblestone path and looking somewhere into the distance. They're the shots Yoongi prefers, because he feels awkward making faces at the camera even though Taehyung had reassured him time and time again that his face is just fine on camera, thank you very much. 

Morning has crawled into the afternoon as the two meandered around the area; wandering in and out of the small, locally owned shops that have taken refuge on the street away from the busy city. It's there, in the smear of a picturesque street in a crowded city, that Taehyung finds it. It's a patch of buttercups on the side of the road where grass meets sidewalk. There's a small park there, just enough for a small playground, but that's not the important part. The important part is that little bundle of buttercups fighting against the cement. Something about it strikes a cord in Taehyung; something like nostalgia. A little bit of longing; a little bit of a struggle to remember just what the longing is really about. It has Taehyung pausing, and contemplating before he stoops down to pluck one up. It's small and pretty and he can't remember the last time he's held one. It had to be years ago, back when he and his friends would go out in search of them. They would pluck a few and shove them under their friend's faces and screech about love and butter and yellow.

"Hyung, look," Taehyung chirps, and turns as Yoongi stops to walk back toward him. "It's a buttercup!"

"Oh, cute, didn't know they grew this time of year." Yoongi says; tilts his head in consideration. "It's a nice color."

Taehyung agrees; thinks it would look prettier next to Yoongi. "You know, hyung," Taehyung begins. Yoongi hums, soft but attentive. “They say if you put a buttercup under your chin and it reflects yellow you’re in love.” Taehyung holds the buttercup closely to Yoongi’s skin, and bends down to get a better look. The light hits just right. The yellow reflected on his skin is soft and faint, but it’s there. Taehyung’s voice, somewhere along the way, has changed from playful to too-soft for one in the afternoon. He doesn’t think he can hide his adoration very well as he peers up at Yoongi. “Looks like you’re in love, hyung.”

Yoongi, yellow and dark and gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous, smiles slow and quiet. Just like everything he does. Warm and easy and Min Yoongi.Taehyung was the one really in love. Taehyung glowed yellow every moment. Every glance toward Yoongi was bright and buttercup and so painfully in love others could see the glow from across the street. Yoongi’s voice is just as too-soft as Taehyung’s when he finally replies, “Yeah.” It didn’t matter how many times he heard it. The affirmation always, without fail, made his heart stutter just like the first time. “You didn’t need a flower to be able to tell that, Taehyung.”

“Maybe,” Taehyung agrees. “But I like that. You and flowers, I like that too. It’s pretty. You’re pretty. You deserve flowers, I think. I know I just picked it up on the side of the road and it’s not much, but I saw it and thought of you and - and, well, I want you to have it.” Taehyung presses the little buttercup into Yoongi’s hands, and there it is. There it is. That smile Taehyung had been searching for all along.

"Thank you, Taehyung, I love it." And it sounds like everything all at once. I love it. I love you. And it certainly looks that way, too, with Yoongi smiling at him like that; eyes crinkling. The buttercup is held delicately in Yoongi's hand, like it's not just some flower Taehyung picked up on the side of the road. Like it was more. Like it was important. And maybe it was. Maybe it was a little bit of everything, that little flower. Maybe it was love, was butter, was yellow, and promises and hope and Taehyung's heart on a golden platter. Maybe it meant a bit too much for one in the afternoon, for five little petals, for a tiny little thing that wouldn’t last very long anyway. Maybe it was a bit too much overthinking, too much emotion packed into one tiny gift, but it was sort of perfect and sort of everything Taehyung had been looking for. A little, tiny flower had given Taehyung that smile from Yoongi so it must mean a lot, surely. Surely, it must mean so much more than just a plant. Surely, it must be - "I love it. I'll keep it. It'll stay for a long time if I press it, right? I want to keep this for a long time. I really like this. Really like you."

Yoongi leans forward; has to tip toe like usual, and presses a soft, yellow little kiss on Taehyung's forehead. "Oh," Taehyung says.

"Oh," Yoongi agrees. "You know, I've been counting down, this whole time. Nine months, give or take. Nothing went like I planned, but I think this is perfect, too. I like the color of this. Like the color of you." Taehyung doesn't really get what Yoongi means, but Yoongi isn't quite paying attention anyway. He's using his free hand to dig something out of his pocket. The little flower shivers in Yoongi's hand, or it's Yoongi's hand doing the shaking, maybe. "It feels a little too perfect to give up this chance, so - so, here." And Yoongi is holding out his shaking fist to Taehyung, but Taehyung doesn't move to take it. What could be making him so nervous? He'd seemed so happy seconds before, but now he was tense, and wide eyed, and - "I saw this, and thought of you. I thought of you, and I thought of us. I thought of these past two years, and I thought of all the years we haven't had yet, and there was never a moment where it was just me. It was always us. It will always be us, if you'll allow it to be. It can always be us. Home. Together. If you'll - " Yoongi takes a deep, shuddered breath. His hand opens; slow and careful and there's yellow glinting in his palm. A gold little band, thin and elegant and winding. A flower, smooth and curled around a diamond, stared back up at Taehyung. "If you'll let me. If you say yes." A real flower, and a golden one. Both yellow and heavy with meaning and oh, Taehyung was so in love.

Taehyung laughs, loud and bright and watery. "Hyung," he laughs. He's shaking, too, for the same reasons. For a lot of reasons. For the years and years of reasons. "Hyung, it's always going to be a yes. There was only ever you. Home, it's - it's always - it's always been you. I've just been waiting for you to catch up."

And Yoongi's smile is blinding. It is the sun, and it is the flowers in his hands, and it is most definitely Taehyung's heart shone back at him and it is exactly what Taehyung had been looking for all along.