Chapter Text
Vanya
When Allison had pressed the gun to the back of Vanya’s head she hadn’t resisted, even though she could have. She’d been so angry with their brothers for attacking her and interrupting her concert that she held them aloft with sound made into solid energy. But even though she knew she could kill Allison, she hadn’t wanted to. The two of them had hurt each other so badly, each without meaning to, and Vanya couldn’t bear the thought of hurting her sister again. When the gun went off Vanya made no attempt to stop it, so being alive ten seconds later was definitely a surprise.
Her eyes were closed and her body was limp with exhaustion, but she could hear everything that was happening around her. She could hear the screams of the people she’d doomed to die as they realized their end was coming just as well as she could now hear the howling wind and the rain beating against her window. She had heard Five’s desperate plan to time travel into their past as much as she had heard her sibling unanimous relief that she was still alive. She’d heard Five insist on bringing her, the bomb, with them to fix her. She could hear the crackle of Five’s jumps ten times louder than it had ever been before and felt the wind rushing around her before she felt like her very body was being ripped apart at the atomic level and then...
With a clap of thunder and a flash of lightning Vanya Hargreeves was back. Back in the house she’d pulled down with her mind. Back in the room she’d left so long ago. Back in the body she’d had as a child. The indignity of it almost made her want to scream before the reality of everything she’d done hit her.
She’d killed Pogo. She’d killed mom. And she was pretty sure she’d killed everyone else on the planet when the light burst out of her and struck the moon.
And wasn’t that a fun revelation; she was the cause of the apocalypse Five had told her about. He had made himself vulnerable for the first time in god knows how long only to be dismissed and belittled by the very person directly responsible for his suffering. Oh god she was a monster.
So she laid there on her lumpy mattress, tears pouring silently down her face, the guilt over what she had done threatened to consume her as her heartbeat increased wildly. She had killed everybody, destroyed everything in what was perhaps the world’s last ever temper tantrum because she’d wanted attention, because she’d wanted her damn concert, her Apocalypse Suite.
Vanya gasped through her tears, her hands gripping the sheets so hard she thought they might rip beneath her fingers. She almost couldn’t believe she’d done it; looked at everything around her and pulled it to the ground without mercy, except she had done it before, hadn’t she? She’d looked at her relationship with her siblings, looked at the book she’d written, filled as it was with only her own point of view and opinions, decided she didn’t care what happened next, and had published it without even telling them what she planned to do. She had subjected them to the court of public opinion without letting them speak at their own trials.
She’d wanted to hurt their father so badly she hadn’t cared that it would hurt them too. She had hated her father so much as she’d written about her childhood that publishing the dirty secrets of the sainted Umbrella Academy seemed like the only feasible way to get back at him. God what an idiot she’d been; her father didn’t care what people thought and so he couldn’t be hurt by what she’d written. But she had known what she’d written would hurt her siblings, and she hadn’t cared enough to stop. She had set fire to the Umbrella Academy long before she had crumbled its walls. Knowing this she couldn't help but be confused by her own continued existence. Why hadn’t her siblings left her to die in the apocalypse she had made? Let the monster she’d become die, and save the girl she’d been. Part of her wished they had; she would have deserved it, to die in the fire she’d made, but instead they’d taken her with them to start over.
Abruptly she sat up, scrambling to get the sheets off her; if she was in her child body, so was Allison. She’d almost killed Allison in defence of a lying murderer who only wanted to use her to hurt her siblings, and all it had taken was a little attention, a few compliments, and a bouquet of flowers and she’d almost murdered her sister and taken away her voice. Someone somewhere with a sick sense of humor might be laughing at the tragic irony of two superpowered sisters that each took the other’s power away; all Vanya wanted to do was cry.
Because Allison hadn’t hated her for what she’d done, she’d forgiven Vanya the moment she saw her in the box, had waved away Vanya’s guilt with a note and a shake of her head and love in her eyes. There had been love in her eyes at the concert too, and pride as she watched Vanya play as she had always been meant to, and it was this thought that finally forced Vanya throw off her apathy, guilt and self pity and run to her door.
Allison, she had to see Allison now. She had to say she was sorry, she had to see her sister whole and undamaged by Vanya’s outburst.
In her haste to get to her sister Vanya yanked the door open so hard it bounced off the wall and hit her as she tried to run through. She ignored the pain in her side as she started to run towards her sister’s bedroom. It wasn’t far, hers was the last room on the left before Luther and Allison’s room at the end of the halway. She had barely even made it out of her room before the panic attack overwhelmed her and she collapsed on the tiled floor her breath coming in harsh pants and her blood pounded in her ears.
Distantly a small part of her was railing at the absurdity of the situation. She had enough power to destroy the moon if she felt like it, but if she gets too caught up in what her siblings think of her she’ll have a panic attack? What utter bullshit was this?
The rest of Vanya was rapidly becoming hysterical. She could see her sister’s bedroom from her spot on the floor but she couldn’t get her legs to carry her weight towards her sister’s room.
Vanya hadn’t been able to stop crying since she remembered what she had done to her family, but now, crumpled on the ground fifteen feet from her sister’s door, she could feel herself getting hysterical. Five had managed to drag them by the scruff of their necks into the past to save the world and she couldn’t even get herself down a goddamn hallway.
She had just decided that if she had to crawl the rest of the way to her sister’s door then so be it, when the steady click of heels could be heard making their steady way down the hallway. Mom. Of course, mom was alive too, and nothing would keep her from a child that needed her.
“Vanya, what are you doing out of bed at this hour?”
Mom had knelt down and put a hand on Vanya’s back and began to rub gentle circles between Vanya’s shoulders as soon as she’d found her on the floor of the hallway. Her voice and manner were designed to be soothing, reassuring, and supportive. In every way the perfect caregiver. She’d looked pained that first time she gave Vanya her pills, had always encouraged Vanya in everything she ever did and Vanya had pulled this building down around her without a single thought or care to who she might be hurting in the process. Seeing her mother standing there unhurt after everything that had happened was too much and Vanya sobbed into her mother’s skirt as she tried to apologize mumbling nonsensically into the fabric.
“Mom? Is Vanya alright?”
Blinking blearily up from her position on the floor Vanya saw Klaus through her tears, shifting his weight uneasily from one foot to the other as he watched her.
Oh god, Klaus . He’d wanted so badly to let her out of the vault, to set her free, but Luther had been too scared and angry to let anyone near her. Too afraid that she’d hurt the others like she’d hurt Allison. Luther had told them she was dangerous and Klaus had still argued in her defense, and she’d almost killed him. Twice.
“I’m so sorry!” Vanya had to gasp and gulp to get the words out and they were a little garbled but she had to say it, had to apologise, had to let him know she was sorry for what she had done.
“I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to hurt you! I’m sorry!”
A little wrinkle formed between Klaus’s eyebrows as he frowned at her, flicking his eyes to mom for guidance.
“It’s...okay,” he said but it sounded more like a question than forgiveness.
Mom gently put two fingers on Vanya’s wrist and frowned softly when she felt her pulse.
“Did you have a bad dream Vanya? You’re shaking like a leaf, let’s get you a drink of water before you go to bed again.”
“NO!” Vanya wailed. “Allison! I have to see Allison! I have to make sure she’s alright!”
Mom tilted her head, considering the situation before she spoke.
“Klaus, can you hold your sister’s hand while I check on Allison?” Turning to Vanya she continued. “If I make sure she’s alright, will you feel better?”
Vanya really wanted to see her sister with her own eyes, to hold her hand, but if Allison was sleeping still she couldn’t disturb her just for her own satisfaction, so she nodded instead and reaches for Klaus’s hand. He took hers without hesitation and held it tight.
Mom walks quietly down the hall to Allison’s door and opens it silently before stepping inside.
Klaus looked bemused by the entire situation but willing to hold his sister’s hand while she shook with anxiety. Vanya looked like she might be violently ill soon.
“Your sister is just fine dear,” Mom said as soon as she got close enough to Vanya to whisper. “She’s fast asleep in her bed, just like you two should be.” Here she turned to Klaus and gave him an indulgent smile. “You’re growing children after all; you need your rest.”
With Mom’s help Vanya was finally able to get her shaky legs underneath her again. She needed to explain or her mom was going to think she was crazy.
“Have to tell her I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Allison lost her voice and it was all my fault. Had to let her know I was sorry.” She turned to Klaus frantically. “I didn’t mean to, Klaus! I promise I never meant to hurt her! It was an accident!”
Klaus looked startled at the distress in her voice. “Of course it was V. I’m sure Allison knows that.”
Mom takes charge again, shooing Klaus back to his own room.
“Klaus dear why don’t you head to your room and try and get some sleep. I’ll sit with Vanya until her anxiety attack is over. Her dream just scared her and since she was asleep she couldn’t do her breathing exercises. She’ll be just fine in the morning.”
Klaus hesitates for a moment but then with one last look at Vanya heads back to his room and with that Vanya finds herself being gently shepherded back into her room. Mom rubs her back gently and helps her into bed.
“There now, you’ll see Allison in the morning and everything will look better then,” Mom says with a smile.
Vanya crawled into bed certain that she was far too keyed up to fall asleep, her worries about facing the rest of her siblings in the morning after what she had done to them in the future, but her anxiety attack had left her exhausted and wrung out emotionally and fell asleep moments after her head hit the pillow.
Grace
When Grace was in her charging station she was not asleep the way a human mother would be. Most of her systems went into a suspended state, except for the ones designed to take care of the Hargreeves children as they slept, so even in her resting state she monitors them. There is a human expression that Grace had always considered appropriate: “Sleeping with one eye open.’
So whenever Grace’s resting program detected distressed noises coming from the children’s hallway her charger retracts and she makes her way up to the child who needs her, the night of the storm it was Vanya.
Her smallest child was curled in on herself on the floor and appeared to be attempting to drag herself on her hands and knees towards the rooms at the end of the hallway.
“Vanya, what are you doing out of bed at this hour?”
The question comes out because Grace cannot fathom why Vanya would be crawling towards her siblings rooms at three twenty-one in the morning.
Grace has a perfect memory catalogue and can bring up every interaction she has ever had with her children and never, not once in her entire existence has Vanya reacted to her with tears. Mild confusion and fear when she had twisted Grace’s head around when she was four but never tears. For a moment Grace is almost unsure how to react but her child is crying, and something far more important than her programing takes hold of her limbs and she is on the floor too, letting Vanya cry into her skirt.
Grace hears the click of a door and the soft padding of feet and knows who it will be before he speaks.
“Mom? Is Vanya alright?”
Klaus is barefoot, wearing his rumpled pajamas, his hair sticking up in every direction humanly possible looking down at the two of them with concern.
Vanya looked up with wet eyes at her brother and stars crying softly.
“I’m so sorry!” Her voice is cracked and desperate as she continues. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to hurt you! I’m sorry!”
Klaus cocked his head to the left, a tiny divot between his eyebrows betraying his confusion, and flicked his eyes to Grace for guidance. Grace could only run her hands down Vanya’s back trying to soothe whatever has upset her daughter so.
“It’s...okay,” Klaus sounds so confused, and looks to Grace again.
Grace felt Vanya’s wrist for her pulse and felt it beating hard, coming down from an anxiety attack. She was going to be exhausted and dehydrated if nothing was done quickly.
“Did you have a bad dream Vanya? You’re shaking like a leaf, let’s get you a drink of water before you go to bed again.”
“NO!” Vanya’s heart rate jumped and her voice radiated distress. “Allison! I have to see Allison! I have to make sure she’s alright!”
Grace considered this, Vanya had been hysterical, trying to reach Allison’s door when Grace had found her, but her distress had been tempered when Klaus had said everything was okay.
Grace looked up at her son.
“Klaus, can you hold your sister’s hand while I check on Allison?”
Turning back Vanya she continued. “If I make sure she’s alright, will you feel better?”
Vanya seems to consider the compromise before she nods.
Klaus kneels and take his sister’s hand as Grace stands up.
Grace catalogs the steady rise and fall of Allison’s chest, the slow even breaths, and the flickering beneath her eyelids that indicate REM sleep. She gently touches Allison’s curls before leaving the room to return to the two children she had left in the hallway.
“Your sister is just fine dear,” Grace says and watches Vanya’s body slump in relief. “She’s fast asleep in her bed, just like you two should be.”
Grace looks at Klaus and smiles. “You’re growing children after all; you need your rest.”
“Have to tell her I’m sorry,” Vanya whispered . “Allison lost her voice and it was all my fault.” Vanya whimpers out the last part. “Had to let her know I was sorry.”
Vanya suddenly jerked around to look at Klaus. “I didn’t mean to, Klaus! I promise I never meant to hurt her! It was an accident!”
Klaus looked startled at the distress in her voice but clumsily tries to comfort her just the same. “Of course it was V. I’m sure Allison knows that.”
Vanya still has a steely grip on her brother’s hand. Klaus looks up at Grace with bewilderment and mouthed ‘what should I do?’ over the top of Vanya’s head.
Grace bends down and take Vanya’s hand again, helping her stand.
“Klaus dear why don’t you head to your room and try and get some sleep. I’ll sit with Vanya until her anxiety attack is over. Her dream just scared her and since she was asleep she couldn’t do her breathing exercises. She’ll be just fine in the morning.”
Klaus looks confused but glad that Grace has the situation in hand and turns to go back to his room with one last look at Vanya before her rounds the corner.
Vanya is still upset, but visibly relieved knowing her sister is alright. Whatever dream she’d had must have alarmed her if she hadn’t been able to tell the dream from reality. Grace helped her into bed and watched over her as she tossed and turned until she fell into a fitful sleep, completely unlike Allison’s relaxed slumber.
Klaus
Klaus Hargreeves was confused. What on earth had Vanya been babbling about? Of course Vanya hadn’t hurt Allison. How could she? Vanya cried when the rest of them stepped on ants, why was she crying about hurting him and Allison?