Work Text:
Fire and Smoke. Everything was blurry for a whole minute and I could hear ringing in my ears. My body felt weightless, which made my stomach want to be weightless too, but the rough concrete street under me grounded my perception and made me return to the moment. The men running past me were slow motion and I wondered if anyone would run to me. I tried getting up but a sharp pain in my thigh refused to let me stand.
I managed to turn onto my back and prop myself up to a broken bench behind me, the sight in front of me bringing me to smoke-induced tears.
The front of the police station was in ruins, and countless people were strewn across the floor, just as I had been. Those left standing helped those who could walk get out of the debris and flames, and sirens grew louder and louder in the back of my head. Firemen, ambulance- neither of them sounded like the ones of my team.
My team. Were any of those bodies them? Would the rest arrive on time or find me dead in the street?
I glanced down at my leg, a large piece of glass protruding out of my thigh, my pants darkened by the flow of blood. My mind went dizzy again and my head was about to roll back out of exhaustion until I felt a large hand hold it back up, supporting me.
“(Y/N)! Can you hear me?” A man said, and I looked to my side, his face close to mine.
“Hotch?” I exhaled, too weak to even speak. I knew the glass had cut too deep.
“You’re all right, we’re going to take you to the hospital right now-”
“The Unsub-” I gasped and reached for him, my fingers barely able to grasp onto his jacket, “He came here-”
“We know, it wasn’t your fault, we didn’t know what his last target was.”
He kept speaking to me but his words were jumbled together and I felt someone pick me up- or was I still on the ground? I couldn’t tell anymore as my vision blurred out, the flames and smoke disappearing from my view until it was only Aaron’s brown eyes and then nothing.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t open my eyes. But I could feel and hear my heart beating loudly, each pump a jolting feeling that woke me up from my sleep.
I was in a dark room. Monitors were at my side and tubing filled with red liquid were connected to my body. I wanted to cry out, but I couldn’t seem to open my mouth. It felt as though my body were still in a deep sleep but my mind had suddenly jolted awake and there was nothing I could do except watch the passing shadows in the room.
Something stirred in the chair next to me and my hand twitched, partially breaking out of this paralysis I had found my self in. I struggled more and more until one of my legs started to move, and then my back and my arms, but I was still tied down to the bed. I screamed, but the darkness overtook me and I was unable to control what happened next, only becoming a spectator to the thrashing of my body.
The man next to me bolted to the door, calling out, and more people rushed in, all in those turquoise hospital uniforms and masks, someone’s glasses glinting in the room, now that the lights had turned on., but all I could really see was the group of people closing in, a cluster of arms reaching for me and holding me down. A sharp pinprick entered my arm and my body gave up.
Hotchner stood above me as I started to close my eyes again, his hand brushing against my hair and he tried to shush me back to sleep.
“Hey (Y/N), it’s you’re favorite gal Penelope… I made you this frame of the team… see us in case we aren’t here when you wake up.”
……..
“Hey baby girl, we’re all waiting for you…. If you could just open your eyes for me that would be great. Could make a certain someone jealous you know……...we’re going on a new case…. Few days…..”
………..
“You have over 42 percent brain activity and in a recent….. At least not a full year….please come back (Y/N), you’re one of the only people I…….”
……
..
.
“You better wake up soon. That’s an order….. Jack was asking about you, but I couldn’t tell how…...You scared me that first night. I thought you were….. leave me. Please, I can’t…….. I still haven’t taken my chance, and now maybe it’s too late. I thought I wouldn’t be able to feel this way again with anyone, but it was you. Please come back to me Y/N….. love you….”
.......
I woke up and felt as though a cloud had lifted from out of my head, my thoughts no longer dampened and weighed down by my strange nightmares in the night. My temples still throbbed but the morning light shining through the window blinds allowed me to finally see clearly. Was someone talking to me?
“Hotch?” I called out, my dry throat betraying me.
The man sitting in the chair woke up, his face propped against his arm as he laid back in the chair.
“Y/N, you’re awake,” he stood and moved the chair closer, and sat in front of me.
“Could you-” I beckoned at the bed adjuster and he nodded, giving me the remote. I rose my back so I was partially sitting up, my body still sore from the whole ordeal.
“How are you feeling?” His soft voice brought back my attention and I tried smiling.
“I’ve been better.”
He held my hand and avoided my gaze. He didn’t smile back. He rarely ever does.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I tighten my grip, not caring if he was my Unit Chief or not.
Something was different with him. Normally I would have been ecstatic holding his hand like this, but his thumb rubbing circles on the side of my hand told me a different story.
“It’s gonna be alright, Aaron.”
His name brought him back, and he looked at me, distraught.
“How can you say that? I haven’t even told you what’s wrong with you yet.”
“If I remember correctly,” I brought my second hand to his, “you said that to me right after it happened. Or was that your own wishful thinking?”
Without a word, he brought my hands up to his lips, kissing them softly and rested his face in them. ‘Surprised’ couldn’t even begin to describe the feelings that ran through my mind. Suddenly his concern for me became alarming.
“How long was I out?”
“Three weeks.”
“Oh my god-” I tried to jerk out of my bed, but he held my shoulders, trying to calm me down.
I looked around as if I were in a whole new room. The blood transfusion had finished and only a single heart rate monitor was at the head of the bed.
“It's- its gonna be ok, you’re awake now. You lost too much blood after the explosion and the trauma of it all brought you into a coma.”
“Why are you still here then? Did you sleep here last night?”
“Possibly…”
“What about Jack?”
“He’s staying with his aunt. The doctor told us that if we tried talking to you might be able to hear us. We’ve all been taking turns and I guess I was the lucky one-” A small smile appeared on his face “-do you remember hearing anything while you were asleep?”
I looked to my side and he handed me the frame on the table next to me. The outside frame was a bright blue color, but what really got my attention was how happy everyone in the photo looked. A group picture we had all taken during a rare party. Rossi drinking at the bar, Emily and JJ sitting on either side of Spencer. Derek and Garcia hip to hip mid-laugh, and finally Hotch and I in the front. I had taken the picture, one arm outstretched with the camera, the other one around Hotch’s shoulders. I never noticed how he was looking at me in the picture, a small smile on his face, just like the one he had on now.
“Garcia gave this to me, right?” He nodded and sat back down next to me.
“Anything else you remember?”
I scrunched my nose, earning a small chuckle from him, one of my favorite sounds.
“Derek was here- you guys finished a case when I was out? How did it go?”
He waved the subject aside, “We got the unsub, but you don’t have to hear the details right now.”
“Alright,” I tried thinking back to my dreams.
“Did Spencer visit me?”
“Quite often yes.”
“Remind me to ask him what statistic is 42 percent when I get out of here,” I laughed. “Did JJ, Rossi, or Emily visit? I can’t remember hearing them-”
“We all did.”
“Thank you, Hotch,” I smiled at him, but it broke into a small sob.
I couldn’t figure out if I should have been grateful for my wonderful team or sad about all the pain everyone must have gone through.
Hotch held my hand again and I readily gripped onto it. He wiped my tears away and stood.
“I’ll give you some time alone Y/N-” he stood to walk away, but I held tight to his hand.
“Wait-” I stopped him and he turned to me. Maybe I wasn’t ready to let him go.
“I love you too.”
This time he smiled, his beaming grin already seeming to heal me.
“You remembered.”