Chapter Text
“Oh please, don’t make me do that—I might get reprimanded!” A general studies girl whispers to her friends across the cafeteria table.
“It’ll be funny! C’mon, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it before!” One of her classmates’ giggles in a hushed tone, shushes being passed around the table.
“Okayokayokay.” She stresses massaging her temples, “But for fuck sake I want more than 5000 yen! I’ll do it for 15000.”
“7500.”
“12500.” She haggles
“10000.”
“Fine, okay. Yeah, sure.” She takes deep breaths.
Snickers and surprised sounds of shock circulate the table, anticipation filling the immediate air.
The girl stands up from her chair, the sound lightly scuffing the floor.
She psyches herself up and walks with mock courage towards the table belonging to 2-A. After everyone moved into dorms, homeroom groups tended to stick to one another and 2-A was no different.
The girl walks up to the table and touches the shoulder of the person on the end of the table with all five fingertips, who happened to be Hitoshi Shinso a former student from her department.
Her fingertips glowing pink quickly and a short pulsing feeling spreading across the other 19 members of the table, the others feeling said pulse although many of them were simply engrossed in their own conversations.
He looks up to her, looking at her with a puzzled expression. “Do you want something?”
“I just wanted to congratulate you on getting into the hero course!” She says, the first thing that came to mind mentally cringing at the awkwardness.
“I don’t even know who you are.” He deadpans, being brutally honest to the poor woman.
“Oh well, that sucks. I guess I should go now!” She smiles with about as much authenticity as second-hand car dealership advertising, lowkey running out the door to the cafeteria.
“That was weird.” Kaminari points out, his mouth full of chicken burger bought less than a minute ago, five minutes before lunch finished.
“I’ve honestly never even met her.” Shinso shrugs.
“She seemed kinda scared, maybe she was just dared to touch your shoulder.” Hagakure copies Shinso’s animation although it was much less visible on her invisible body.
“We’ve had weirder dares during truth or dare before.” Kirishima agrees, not wishing to bring up the time he dared Bakugo to hold Todoroki’s hand for the rest of the night. And Bakugo "not being a pussy" (his words, not Kirishima’s) went through with it practically growling at anyone that who even looked at him.
The bell rung before the class had a chance to ponder on the chance encounter further. Forcing Kaminari to hurriedly scoff the rest of his burger with appropriate scoffing sounds.
The others leave him be, shooting the occasional glance at the brain damaged electricity wielder.
It took them little under five minutes to reach their classroom, walking in and taking seats at their desks in wait for their next teacher who happened to be Present Mic for English.
The waiting period was often quiet save the occasional snippet of dialogue between friends or threat made by a resident lord explosion murder. Only now it was coupled by a unanimous feeling of slight sickness.
“Christ, I just got like the worst headache.” Sero sits down on the nearest desk which happened to be Uraraka’s
“I feel it too, oh God I wanna vomit.” Mina shakes her head.
One by one the members of 2-A lose consciousness, some of them falling to the ground, others slumping back in chairs.
After a collective period of three or four seconds the students begin to wake again, all of them with splitting headaches.
“Ah fuck, what the lightning bat shits was that?” Midoriya snarls, focus turning to him very quickly.
“Did—did Midoriya just?” Jiro points to him with a shaky finger.
“What a mad bouquet of darkness.” Aoyama places two hands over his nose and mouth, just as shocked as everyone else although attention was now on him.
“Aoyama, what did you say?” Hagakure asks shocked putting her hand to her face without saying a word (or being too panicked to say anything) when she sees, or rather doesn’t see, her hand. “I think I’ve somehow upgraded from the 'hand-crusher'. I’m now the hand… eater? No no, that’s dumb.” She trails off, her words monotone and deadpanned.
“Yeah, and why did you call me Deku? Do I look like shitty Deku to you?” Midoriya asks, jabbing a thumb into his chest.
“Do you really want that question answered?” Yaoyorozu answers, her hands shaking in fear as she gestures to Midoriya’s body.
“I recall being called after Aoyama.” Aoyama raises his hand.
Sero stands up on a desk and claps a few times to call eyes to him. “Listen class 2-A! I fear the worst. We may have had our minds transferred into the body of our peers. I suggest we stay calm and try to find out who is who, starting with me.” He explains his theory regarding the situation whilst making vigorous arm movements
“Okay, that’s weird.” Uraraka croaks, a gravelly tone to her voice and her sentence ending with a ribbit.
“Iida in Sero’s body? How intéressant!” Tokoyami claps his hands with excitement.
“Is that who I am?” Iida asks, looking himself up and down making sure to check is elbows and calves especially. “Nice mufflers, dude. Do you like, oil them or something? I don’t know anything about cars.”
“So, I’m Kaminari…” Kirishima gestures to himself, “But who—am I? Like am I still Kaminari or am I like Mina? Nah wait, she’s over there. Time to count!”
Kirishima begins counting his classmates very slowly, even going as far as to trip up on five and going straight to seven, when a relatively high pitched grunt stops him. “Ooooh my god, you’re Kirishima.” Koda sighs, completely done with the shenanigans coming with their current situation.
“Dude! I’m like, so manly now. Isn’t that cool?” Kirishima puffs out his chest.
“I’d beg to differ.” Mina rolls her eyes, bringing a hand just below her ear only to be surprised when nothing was there.
“Who are you? Imposter…” Jiro cups her cheeks, bringing them closer to her face so their noses and foreheads were touching.
“What, am I Mina?” Mina pushes Jiro away from her in a confused motion, the person piloting the body clearly liking their personal space.
“Yeah! You’re me! So, who are you? Who—who am I?” Jiro asks frantically, going on a tangent similar in nature to Kaminari’s.
“Jiro, I’m Jiro.” Mina explains, still in a recoil position from the unwanted physical contact.
“You two should be lucky! I am a boy.” Todoroki comes up to them, clearly the swap-ee was stressed with the new (male) body.
“Who’re you normally?” Mina asks.
“Hagakure! Like, shortish invisible chick?” Todoroki enforces his previous identity.
“At least I have a body I’m comfortable in.” Tsu sighs, the usual frog nature of her voice gone with the new conscience.
“How comfortable?” Kaminari (or Kirishima) pokes her in the side a few times before she blushes and conjures some distance between them.
“You know what I meant!” Tsu draws out the last word of her sentence, her mannerisms very similar to Uraraka’s.
“Stop making sexual innuendos! Especially towards female members of our class! It’s frankly embarrassing.” Sero steps in between Tsu and Kaminari.
“Speaking of sexual innuendos—” Mina points to a certain grape-like hero in training who was rocking back and forth on the ground clearly not content with the trade made. “What poor bastard got the resident perv?”
“Where’s Yaomomo’s body?” Jiro yells across the room, class 2-A prepared to go into lock-down.
“I’m right here!” Yaoyorozu puts her hand up to draw attention to herself. “I’m Ojiro, not Mineta.”
“So, who is?” Hagakure asks, her voice rung with a certain depression trademarked to Todoroki. "Mineta, I mean."
“I refuse, I refuse! I can’t accept this new body. I don’t wanna be a— a grape pervert!” Mineta whines, tears streaming down his face and his lisp still present. “I spent the last year and a half building up my reputation as a man who respects women! This is my worst possible match up!”
Sobs fill the classroom as Ojiro scoots closer to Mineta, hugging the poor soul with his tail too (only after accidentally whacking it on the desk he came from)
“I was six-two Ojiro, six. foot. two.” He mumbles into the tailed boy’s chest.
“Shoji?” Ojiro recoils in a mix of shock and fear.
“Yes! Mezo Shoji! And now I’m just a four foot perv.” Mineta looks over to his previous body who was giggling with a certain unhinged insanity that would’ve come from the swap.
“I’m finally tall, and I don’t have the lisp ohoho, this is going to be so much fun!” Shoji mutters to himself, looking out of the window with one hand on the glass and another being run through his hair. “Gone are the days I can upskirt girls, yes. But now I have brute strength and a powerful quirk! The only thing weird is this mask—”
“If you take off my mask I will start shoving these balls up my ass, or well, your ass. Just—Mineta’s ass!” Mineta throws him the threat. Something out of character for Shoji, sure, but this was his precious mask on the line.
“C’mon guys, we can resolve this peacefully!” Bakugou tries to calm the two boys down, his voice soft and panged with fear.
“Go back to swearing, dude.” Kirishima tells him.
“Yeah, this is weird.” Kaminari confirms.
The door to the room slides open again and attention is turned to their teacher, Present Mic who was being greeted with an ensemble of paused chaos.
“Uhm, okay?”