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*Gabriel has successfully removed Josephine’s chip. Bellamy and Clarke are still outside of Sanctum, housed together in a small cabin until Clarke wakes up and can recover*
Bellamy starts to feel the heaviness of sleep pulling on his eyelids after four excruciatingly long hours of waiting. Despite his emotional and physical exhaustion, his fervor for Clarke’s safety and the adrenaline from the day gives him the kick he needs to stay awake. Every cell in his body stands ready to be alerted at any sign of Clarke’s wakening.
Bellamy takes a moment to take in all her features, unable to resist the urge to caress her face just as he had done before praimfaya. The same fear and uncertainty lining his face now as then. Bellamy never had to think about the reasons he cared so deeply for Clarke Griffin, he just knew he did. After only a few short weeks, Clarke exposed his heart in ways that made him so painfully vulnerable. Whenever Clarke left or found herself in situations of danger, it felt like she took a piece of Bellamy’s heart with her. If Clarke died, his heart would go down with her.
Looking at Clarke lying there still and unmoving, Bellamy feels the stinging pain of guilt upon remembrance of Josephine’s biting words.
You should see inside that girl’s mind ha, I mean she was practically begging me to take her out of her misery. But I’ll let you in on a little secret: you know what really sealed the deal? Me showing her how you accepted my father’s agreement. Once she saw you give up on her she quite literally handed me the key to her own death sentence.
Mulling over the memory now, Bellamy lets out a strangled sob. If Clarke dies, that will be the last thing she heard from him. To think she’d believe he never forgave her, that she meant so little to him, was one of the most painful things he’d ever had to hear.
“If you need forgiveness I’ll give that to you!” Josephine mocks. looks like she felt she never got that forgiveness after all –it’s a shame, really.
With tears forming in his eyes, all Bellamy wanted at this moment was for Clarke to open hers. Desperately, he gathered her limp body into his arms, his chest heaving with silent sobs. “I’m so sorry Clarke. I’m..I’m so sorry. I should have been there for you, I-“ His voice falters as he struggles to maintain his composure. “I should have never let you feel like you were alone.”
Suddenly, Bellamy’s body goes completely still, his breath hitched in his throat. It was the smallest stirring…but Clarke’s fingers had moved. It was as if Bellamy could see the life coming back into her again, like a balloon filling with air. Clarke groggily began to lift her head, the confusion on her face quickly being replaced with clarity. She looks up to see Bellamy looking down on her with his trademark heart eyes, still holding her in his arms. Clarke lets out a breath, “I’m…alive?” Bellamy beams at her and at a loss for words, nods his head. Bellamy and Clarke sink into this moment. They relish in the silence and in the powerful communication shared between their eyes. Clarke tightens her grip on Bellamy’s back and pulls him into her embrace, allowing not even a millimeter of space to separate them. Finally, she whispers, “Thank you for saving me.”
“Clarke..I thought I lost you,” Bellamy releases his hold on her to look at her face and make clear his sincerity, “I promised myself I would never do that again. When I found out you were dead I wanted to tear this place to the ground. But I remembered what you told me….about using my head. I thought I was honoring what you would have wanted. I never wanted you to think for one second that I don’t care about you, that I never forgave you. Clarke, there’s nothing you could do that would make me forget that we’re a partnership, we’re the heart and the head, and….I need you.”
For a few seconds Clarke struggles between her rational side and her instincts. But something inside of her pushes her towards the latter. She places her hands gently around Bellamy’s face and begins to lean in. There’s so much she and Bellamy need to discuss and hash out. So many unspoken feelings and words. But she’s tired and all she wants right now is to give in and allow herself to feel what she’s been blocking herself from feeling for so long. Her mindspace made one thing clear: she could no longer hide from Bellamy, including the feelings she’s tried denying for years. As Clarke’s lips are about to reach Bellamy’s, she feels him stiffen. Bellamy, in disbelief, wavers at the tension. Is Clarke going to kiss him? His mind is swirling with thoughts and possibilities of a future he previously never thought was possible. His heart is racing and his hands are trembling and -- then he feels it. The soft pressure of Clarke’s lips on his. They lean into each other, easing themselves into overcoming all questions and insecurities. Once they start melding into one another, Bellamy initiates a rougher kiss, sparking a deeper fire between them. Bellamy feels like he can’t breathe enough of her air or hold enough of her in his arms. “You have no idea,” he breathes heavily, “how long I’ve wanted this, I just didn’t think-“ “Shh” Clarke interrupts him, smiling (with notable hints of pink in her cheeks). Their lips meet again as they fall back onto the bed. When they finally break the kiss, they’re leaning on their sides facing each other and relaxing in each other’s arms. It has never been clearer to both of them than in this moment that they’re the closest thing you can get to soulmates. How had they not noticed it before? How had they made themselves so purposefully blind as to miss this level of unconditional love, passion, and connectedness?
Clarke remembers Russel asking her if she’s ever known peace. She wasn’t sure then but now she knows that this is it. They could be on Earth, space, or any other planet and Bellamy would always be her home. He would bring her the peace she’d always desired but never felt she deserved. They don’t need to say the words to each other to know they love one another, it’s simply apparent in the way they hold each other.