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When the opportunity arose for Soobin to secure a seat in planning and developing a new landmark in the heart of New York, Kai told Soobin he had to take it.
"This chance won’t come twice, hyung." he said. "You'd be crazy to refuse."
Soobin had been unsure, and wavered back and forth between going and staying for two months, while Kai quietly updated his passport. He made appointments while Soobin debated pros and cons. Finally, the day before Soobin needed to let people know what he had decided, they went to dinner.
The restaurant was Soobin's pick, but he chose Kai's favorite family-owned barbeque place. Soobin did his best to make him feel like he’s not going to spend the next six month without his boyfriend, but he knew that Soobin would never waste such opportunity. After dessert had been cleared away, Soobin reached across the table and held Kai's hands.
"I've decided to take the deal," he said.
Kai nodded, smiling tersely. "I know. When do you leave?"
The night before Soobin left, Kai lay wide awake in bed, watching his boyfriend sleep. He followed the planes and curves on Soobin's face with his eyes, counted each beauty marks he had on his skin, and memorized the exact fan of his eyelashes.
His Soobin-hyung was leaving.
It was a good move. Kai kept reminding himself of that fact, that this was Soobin's dream list. It was only for six months. Surely he could live without Soobin for six months; what could happen in six months anyway?
The doubts crept in, though. What if Soobin met someone else? Would the time away change them? Would the things Soobin saw turn him unrecognizable? What if their relationship, which he thought had cemented itself, suddenly break off, and he had to start making decisions they should make together alone?
"I'll call as often as I can," Soobin had said. But it still didn’t calm his nerves. “You know I will.”
Kai stared again, feeling uneasy. He’d been staring for a while now that he didn’t realize when Soobin gradually began to wake up. Soobin was blinking sleep out of his eyes while also trying to look at Kai. He looked cross eyed and silly, but Kai did not laugh. Instead, his lower lip started to tremble with emotion, and he thought to himself, 'stop it, stop it, stop it, Huening Kai, don't you dare cry.'
"Oh baby, don't look like that." Soobin rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow. With his free hand, he reached out and brushed his knuckles down the side of Kai's face.
"I'm fine," Kai said. "I'm sorry for waking you. I was just thinking."
"I know," Soobin said. "You were thinking so hard you woke me up. Stop worrying." Soobin pulled Kai against him and dropped flat onto the bed, so that Kai found himself on top of the other man. Soobin's hands ran up and down his spine, trying to sooth. Kai pressed his face into Soobin's chest.
"I can't help it," he said. "I worry. That’s what I do." He tangled their legs together and kissed Soobin's collarbone. "I'll be okay."
Soobin made a pleased sound, and smiled. "I know you'll be fine. You're Huening Kai, my Huening Kai. The world hasn't come up with anything that could keep you down. And I'd like to see the man who could best my razor wit and devilish good looks. In six months, we'll be laughing about this. You just need to keep that in mind."
Kai nodded. "Right, because all we need to survive this is a sharp wit and some talent."
"You forgot the devilish good looks." Soobin yawned. "Go to sleep, Kai. We have nothing to worry about.”
And then Soobin was gone.
The first week was fine. Kai had his music, and his students, and a backlog of books he had kept meaning to read and never gotten around to. He thoroughly cleaned the apartment, top to bottom, using bleach on any surface that could probably handle it. It did mean that he ended up at Taehyun's house for the night, slightly woozy from fumes, and begging for a bed while the chemicals dissipated enough for the place to be livable. On his first lonely Friday, he went out with Taehyun, Beomgyu and Yeonjun, who was in town for some charity work. They spent most of the time moving from club to club, dancing and making fun of the bands.
"This is painful," Taehyun said, after a particularly bad set. "Can we go home, yet?"
Yeonjun looked up from his beer, horror spilling comically across his face. "No! The band is fine! And I want another beer."
"It's the timing," Kai said, "The drummer is really, really off. I could keep the beat better than that." He felt Taehyun wince beside him, and scrunched up his nose. "I could!"
"Maybe," Beomgyu said dubiously. "But you aren't allowed to play drums because you once broke the school’s sets."
"I did not," Kai lied, and that was Friday.
The next week was worse.
The first three days of the week he spent staring at his walls, so he accepted another three students. He ended up having to drop one girl after one lesson because the kid did not want to be there, and actually ripped the ivory off his antique grand piano in protest of being taught. The sole gig he had that week cancelled, and his agent was dodging his calls. And as if it couldn’t be worse, he’d found out his sister and Taehyun making out on his couch on Sunday afternoon. Kai spent the next day curled up in bed, watching videos of last Christmas and ignoring Taehyun's texts.
After a full month, Kai was ready to throw in the towel. It felt like the entire world had waited for this one time when he was vulnerable, and decided to attack. He was forced to cancel a full day of lessons because the plumbing in the bathroom failed, and the super did not respond to his increasingly frantic messages until the next day. By then, YouTube had taught Kai how to fix the problem, but he had to pay $300 he did not have because he had not been able to go to his studio and teach.
Someone stole his credit card, one of the ones that he had as a joint account with Soobin, and the card company would not talk to him without the other man present. It took three days pointless runaround before Kai asked Beomgyu to pretend to be Soobin, and managed to close the account. Beomgyu then asked him why he had not asked Taehyun.
"I mean, I don't have a problem helping you out, you know that, but you and Taehyun are tight, man. Are you guys fighting?" Beomgyu asked, lingering on his way out of Kai's apartment.
"We're at an impasse," Kai said. "He tried to convince my Tuesday cellist that Marvel is better than DC."
That was true enough, but that would not have been enough for Kai to stop talking to Taehyun.
"Right," Beomgyu said. "Well, I'll see you at practice tomorrow."
The next week, Taehyun confronted Kai. Kai had been getting coffee on his way to the studio, and was glaring into his cup because the barista had given him the wrong roast.
"I'm sorry!" Taehyun said. "It just happened!"
"I don't care what happened," Kai said, sipping his coffee and burning his tongue enough that he would not be able to taste the mistake. "I will never be able to forget this. This will always haunt me. I need to go."
He went home that day and put his head in his hands.
"Dammit, Soobin-hyung," he said, safe in the quiet of his own apartment. "I think you might have been wrong about your Huening Kai."
The first postcard arrived the next day.
At first, Kai was confused. The picture was a drawing of a beach, with a brilliant yellow sun high in the sky wearing sunglasses. 'You are the Sunshine of My Life' was written across the water. Kai flipped the card over, mystified as to who could have sent it, and saw it was from Soobin.
Remember when we went to Hawaii, and you managed to stop a riot with nothing but your voice and piano?
You've always been the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
Love, your Soobin-hyung
P.S. See you in 5 months! Take care of yourself, baby.
Kai sat down on the couch in the tiny living room, and looked at the card for a long time.
"I can't believe you made out with my sister," Kai told Taehyun, a few days after the first postcard.
Taehyun looked like he was no longer quite so happy Kai had forgiven his indiscretion, now that Kai was actually talking to him and questioning his sanity.
"I was drunk!" Taehyun said. "It was a mistake!"
"My sister!" Kai reiterated. "That is a complete violation of every friendship code ever!"
"I know," Taehyun said. "I promise, I will never make out with your sister again."
Things started to get better. One of his new students turned out to be a natural with the piano and loved to learn, a combination less likely than he had imagined before he started teaching. His super actually reimbursed him for the plumbing failure. His agent called and he started playing again. The next Friday, he got another postcard. This was had an olive on the front, hovering over the words 'Olive You.' Kai smiled.
Soobin had written,
The first time I took you out, I ordered a dry martini. It was always my dad's drink, and I felt like a real man with the drink in my hand and you at my side.
I hated that drink, and you were kind enough not to mention either the faces I made or the fact that I never finished it.
You are the sweetest person I know, and I love that in you.
Love, your Soobin-hyung
The postcards continued, one a week, for the next six months, until the just before Soobin arrived home. The day Soobin's flight was due in, Kai received a save-the-date note.
Save the Date!
Kai & Soobin
Seoul
19/12/25
Brow furrowed. Was this some kind of joke? It was the 20th already. What on earth was this about? Kai flipped the card over.
Circle YES or NO
Oh.
Kai, who had been standing at his kitchen table, sat down abruptly.
The trip to the airport was harrowing. Kai had a car, because dragging a keyboard and sound equipment on the subway was nothing he ever wanted to do again, and he was usually a good driver. Seoul’s winters were a good teacher. This time, the trip was a white-knuckled, panicked drive, and not just because snow was swirling in the streets and lowing visibility. It looked like it would be a white Christmas.
Circle Yes or No.
Kai parked his car and headed for the terminal, unable to focus on anything but that save-the-date card. He walked through the airport, lost in his own head, and only started to pay attention to his surroundings when he found himself at the arrivals. Kai bounced up and down in place. He smoothed back his hair and straightened his coat. Unconsciously, his hand went into his pocket and fiddled with the card. Once he realized what he was doing, Kai forced himself still, put his hands at his sides, and counted down from 100.
Kai was so focused on not spazzing out that he did not see Soobin until the other man was right in front of him. One moment he was breathing deeply, and the next, Kai's vision was blocked by black wool and slightly tanned skin. He looked up to a pair of dark, warm eyes and newly bleached hair.
"Soobin-hyung," Kai breathed. All thoughts of save-the-date cards and decorum flew out the window as he threw himself into his boyfriend's arms and was held for the first time in half a year.
"Hyuka," Soobin said, his voice breaking with emotion, and he clutched so tightly to Kai the man could barely breath.
"You're here," Kai said. "You're back. " The words were for his own benefits; Soobin obviously knew where he was. Kai thought it might take some time before his own heart was convinced.
"It's a Christmas miracle," Soobin rasped. Perhaps he also needed to be convinced he was home.
"You were always going to be home by Christmas," Kai said. "I made your flight arrangements."
Soobin pulled back. "Still a Christmas miracle," he said. "The plane could have been late, or a storm could have come in and trapped me across the ocean. I'm home, baby."
Before Kai could respond, or kiss him, or hug him again and never let go, Soobin dropped to one knee.
Kai said, "Oh my God."
"Well?" Soobin asked, holding out a ring.
"Oh my God," Kai repeated. "You were serious. You were — the card said you want to get married in five days!"
"I do," Soobin said.
"Oh," said Kai. He fished the card out of his pocket and thrust it into Soobin's hands, almost knocking the ring to the ground.
Yes was circled in bright red ink.
"Oh thank God," said Soobin, and surged to his feet and into Kai's arms.
'You're home,' Kai thought, in between kisses and a ring being dragged down his finger. 'You're home, you're home, you're home.'
“I’m home,” Soobin said he rested his forehead against him. “And the next time I go, I promise to take you along with me.”
Kai laughed happily. “I’ll hold on to that promise, then.”