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Lesson One- Womanhood
*****Toph*****
Toph’s lower abdomen ached strangely. She wasn’t hungry, and she actually hadn’t eaten anything too unusual in the last day, which was difficult enough on the road. It felt terrible though, dull and constant, but sometimes also sharp and pulsing. Rubbing it made it feel slightly better, but nothing did much. She begged off of working with Twinkle Toes- she wasn’t up for that, so he worked with Katara instead. He could still use more water bending work from the way they both talked. It was an hour later when she began to feel wet. Wet? Like she’d peed herself like a baby? She headed for the stream in an area that she was pretty sure would be hidden by some bushes, and yanked down her loincloth to inspect. Definitely wet, but it smelled like- blood? Well, that was a relief at least that she hadn’t peed herself, but she certainly didn’t remember being hurt… down there.
“Toph,” Sokka called. “Aang said you weren’t feeling well. Are you sick? Because I ate everything you did last night, and I think maybe I don’t feel-” she whipped around to face him, momentarily not thinking of the bloody loincloth in her hand. “Oh- that kind of not feeling well. So… not what I have then. I’ll just- go. Sorry,” he finished, voice all high and cracking. Her tunic covered everything actually important, but her pants were on the ground next to her.
“What kind of sick am I?” she asked, more demanded really. Snoozles knew what was wrong with her and she didn’t?
“I didn’t mean anything by it, not that you’re sick for having it. You definitely don’t let it stop you from doing anything, so that’s- great, um... I- I didn’t mean to intrude.”
“Meathead, why am I bleeding!” she snapped.
“Oh,” he said and paused for several long seconds. His voice was softer now, less squeaky. “How old are you, Toph? Maybe I should go get Katara. She’d be- better at this sort of thing. Don’t be scared though. You’re fine, Toph,” he said, which would be reassuring if he were making any sense.
“I’m not scared,” she insisted. “I’m never scared. And I’m twelve- not a baby. I can handle it.” Did her blind eyes feel wet though? Why was that? “And I don’t want to talk to Sugar Queen. Just tell me what’s wrong, Sokka.” Sokka. She almost never used his name out loud.
He sighed, but stepped towards her instead of backing away like he did at first. “Just- first, get a clean loincloth, but don’t put it on yet, and meet me back here,” he instructed.
Sokka didn’t take much longer than she did getting whatever he was holding out to her. An open bag with stuff inside, she felt.
“Does your- stomach- or something around there- hurt?” he asked uncomfortably.
“Yeah. A little lower than my stomach.”
“If you suck on these, it helps. Or you can make tea out of them. It doesn’t taste too bad, he said, offering her a thin, stick-like leaf that was plentiful in the little bag.”
“What’s wrong with me?” she insisted. She could feel a trickle of blood starting down her leg now. Sokka must have seen it too.
“Here, give me your loincloth,” he asked uncomfortably. The new, clean one. Moments and a few grunts later, he handed it back to her with a thick, cloth pad tied inside it. That made sense at least, to catch the blood. He handed her another cloth, this one damp, “To wipe up,” he said delicately and then she could tell that he turned around.
Toph hurriedly wiped down and got the new loincloth on under her tunic. She shoved on the clean pants she had brought with her as well. She had felt a wet spot on her old ones, so she must have bled through that as well before she noticed. Her tunic seemed fine though. “Okay, crisis averted for now, but what’s wrong with me and how do I make it stop? Meathead,” she added one of her nicknames for him as an afterthought. It showed that she wasn’t terrified of all this.
“Nothing’s wrong, but you- can’t make it stop, Toph. It’s just that- man, I don’t know the Earth Nation customs around this. I don’t know the water tribe ones as well as Katara, of course, but I was there-”
“Spit it out-” she hissed.
“You’re a- woman now, Toph. It’s a- sign. Women bleed every month once they are old enough to bear children.”
“Every month?” she asked. How did she not know this? Then again, no one really talked to her much at home. She tried to resign herself to it, “How much comes out each month? When can I take this off? I feel like I’m wearing a diaper like a baby. Not really feeling like a woman here,” she sulked. She wanted to lash out at him, but it wasn’t his fault that her body was apparently doing something she would hate.
“Um- I don’t know how much. I think you’ll need to change that cloth a couple times a day, and it lasts for um- about a week?”
“A week!”
“Maybe less? It’s at least a few days though,” he sounded apologetic.
“So I’m going to spend a quarter of the rest of my life bleeding!” How- how did women put up with this? How was she supposed to fight- do anything when she was- going through this- thing? How did she not know that Katara did this all the time?”
“Not your- whole life,” Sokka said in a little voice. “Just until you’re too old to have kids which is like- forty maybe? I don’t really know exactly- maybe older. I’m sorry- I really should get Katara-”
“No!” Toph insisted, not sure why she didn’t want to talk to Katara. Maybe she just didn’t want to look weak and helpless, but she was already doing that around Sokka, so what did it matter? “It doesn’t seem that important to know when it stops. I’ll just be glad when it does.”
“And- um- it would stop- for a while if you were to- to get pregnant, but don’t let yourself get pregnant anyway okay?”
Now there was another thing she didn’t understand. “And how am I supposed to stop that? Isn’t that what this bleeding is about? So I can have kids- not that I want them,” she said.
“No- it doesn’t- It doesn’t work like that. You won’t get pregnant unless you…um… Unless a man sticks part of himself inside the place you’re bleeding from, okay?” Sokka managed to get out. "So just... don’t let anyone do that, and you’ll be fine. And if you feel unsafe in… that way- I mean, I know you’re an incredible warrior, but you have all of us here too, and we keep each other as safe as we can.”
“Okay,” she said, sure her face was doing that blushing thing that people talked about- turning red, or whatever, but at least that was an easy enough direction to follow. She wouldn’t let a man stick anything anywhere inside of her anyway. Of course, no one would want to, but that was beside the point. She’d break anyone to pieces who tried. “So I just use these pads and change them when they feel too wet, and I wait for it to be over?”
“Pretty much-” Sokka sighed in what Toph thought was relief for his explaining to be over. “And then you wash them and dry them, and they can be used again later for a while. And buy new ones and things for the pain when you need them.”
“Where did you get these?” she asked wondering-
“From Katara’s stuff,” he admitted, twisting his left foot in the dirt.
“Eeewwwwww, so Sugarqueen has-”
He quickly jumped in, “Bought these at the last town, never used them. She has some more, and she won’t be- needing them for a couple more weeks,” he fumbled through. “I really wish I didn’t know that about my sister, but it’s kinda hard to forget. All female water benders are- on schedule with the moon.”
“So Katara what- bleeds every full moon?” Toph knew the basic moon cycle, even if she never really learned anything else about the night sky. She couldn’t see it anyway, and didn’t like to think about something she might be missing out on.
“Toph-” Sokka whined, but answered anyway with a sigh, “No, the opposite, the dark moon. When no one can see the moon at all. So the full moon would be- ugh, I guess you need to know anyway… The opposite time, about right in the middle of the bleedings is peak fertility, the time when you’d be most likely to get pregnant- but only if you did- that with a man. Again, it’s really not something I’d want to know about my little sister. But all you really need to know right now, I think, is to use those cloth pads. And sometimes she uses something else that- I think- goes inside or something, but I didn’t want to even think about- I’m really no good at talking about these things, Toph. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t think I could figure out where to stick anything inside,” Toph admitted.
“That’s- fine,” Sokka said, creaking back in his voice.
“Thanks,” she said, feeling all- warm in the cheeks that he’d been so nice and helped her with all this. “You say you’re not good at this, but you're not bad, for a Meathead.”
“Thanks,” he said. She could feel his heart beating faster. “Are you okay? Or- going to be okay? I still think maybe you should talk to Katara. Or if you want I could-” but she could tell that he really, really didn’t want to talk with his sister about it.
“I will,” Toph said quickly, not sure if it was a lie or not. “And I’m fine now. Thanks to you.” That part would probably make him shut up, and it wasn’t even much of a lie at all. She didn’t even add an insulting nickname.
Lesson Two- Appearance
*****Toph*****
“What do I look like?” It had nothing to do with anything those stupid girls in the city said. Nothing.
“Huh?” Sokka asked. He was always a little out of it when he was interrupted when he was looking at his papers. Toph could never quite grasp what could be so interesting about them that wasn’t in the rest of the world. If she regretted not seeing anything, it would be people, or cool things like waterfalls, not big pieces of paper.
“What do I look like?” she asked again, thinking against her will about those giggling bitches. Bitch was one of those words she’d heard at the earth rumble, usually talking about her, that she never quite said aloud, maybe afraid she’d use it wrong. But she liked the sound of it.
“You have um- black-ish hair and eyes?” Sokka fumbled. “I mean, really light green eyes. They don’t look like anyone else’s.”
“Because I’m blind,” he said as a statement this time, not a question. She’d heard that it seemed that there was a film or something over her eyes, and they looked creepy- haunted.
“Um, yeah, I guess. But they’re really pretty,” he said quickly. Pretty? No one had described her eyes like that before, or any part of her.
“Really?” she couldn’t stop herself from asking.
“Yeah, and you’re small, and I guess you look kind of delicate- I thought so at first, so people are always surprised when you’re such an awesome fighter.” She was awesome, wasn’t she? People rarely got the chance to underestimate her twice, though some people, like her own family, persisted in doing it anyway.
“Am I pretty?” she didn’t know why she asked. It couldn’t end well.
“Yeah,” Sokka said instead. “You’re really pretty. That probably- um, helps in the underestimating thing too.”
“Like Suki?” Toph asked, not sure why she would bring up the older girl that she thought Sokka probably liked in a way he’d never like Toph- not that she wanted Sokka to like her like that.
“No- Suki looks intimidating, at least when she’s got her Kyoshi warrior stuff on, armor and all. Oh, and they paint their faces really brightly, to look kinda like Kyoshi- which isn't a good description- it's like paler face makeup and really red above the eyes, and black eyebrows and part of the eye-lid, kinda?”
“But she’s pretty?” Toph pushed. Why was she asking when she had a feeling that she didn’t want to hear the answer.
“Yeah, she’s pretty,” Sokka admitted softly. Toph would give anything to know what he was thinking about.
“What about you?” she asked suddenly.
“Huh? I’m not pretty. Pretty is a girl thing.”
“Meathead! Just- what do you look like?”
“Oh- um. My hair is dark brown, almost black, like yours. But my skin is a lot darker.”
“People have different color skin?” she interrupted. That seemed stranger than some other things being different.
“Well, yeah. Part of it is from spending lots of time outside. The parts that are in the sun for a long time are darker. You’re a little bit darker than we met you, because- I guess you didn’t spend as much time outside before. But, the rest is just the way people are born. They call it genetics. People are about the same skin color of their parents, or between their parents, if they look different,” Sokka explained all of it like it was interesting, like he didn’t mind explaining things to her that must seem so obvious to everyone else. Color wasn’t something she could ‘see’ and no one really talked about skin having color growing up, maybe because everyone in her family probably looked the same. “Water tribe people are darker than most people from the other nations.”
“Okay, then. What else is there about you?” she asked uncomfortably. That sounded strange, and she wasn’t supposed to be self-conscious.
“I- keep my hair in a po- in a warrior’s wolf tail. I guess it’s basically a ponytail, but you can’t tell anyone I admitted that. And, I usually keep the sides shaved, but I haven’t cut them in a while, so they’re sort of growing out. And my eyes are- blue like the ocean, probably because of the ocean, at least they say so. Though, water on its own is basically clear and reflective but- I don’t actually know all of the science. The Southern Water Tribe doesn’t have a lot of books, and people aren’t usually curious about- a lot of the things I’m curious about. All of the water tribe has blue eyes actually, so Katara does too. I guess we kind of look alike, but her face is rounder, and she’s a girl. But I guess since you don’t know what Katara looks like either, that’s a pretty bad explanation. Um… My nose is- kinda flatter that yours, I guess, but bigger. You can um- feel my face if you want to,” his heart beating faster as he offered. He was so uncomfortable that she should refuse, but-
“Okay,” she said quietly. It wasn’t a whisper. She wasn’t a whispering sort of girl. She boldly stated everything that she was, everything that she felt. Almost always.
She could tell when he got down on his knees in front of her, making himself lower than her small frame. Toph reached hands out slowly, even though she knew exactly where he was. To touch his face seemed so- personal though.
She could tell where a person’s face was, but to feel this detail… His eyebrows were thicker than hers, she noted first. His hairline was lower in the middle and slanted upwards on the sides, whereas her own hairline was straight across. And then it was pulled back on top, but with short, little hairs on the sides. And his nose was bigger. His cheekbones, his chin. He didn't have any hair there, like she knew some men grew. Maybe he wasn't old enough. She moved her hands back up to the one part she had skipped, his lips. They were bigger than hers, soft, moist, like he had licked them. She ran her fingers over them, and he smiled a big smile, cheeks pulling back. One of her fingers glanced over his wet teeth, and she smiled as well, but drew her hand away.
“Thanks,” she said in a not-whisper.
“Yeah. Yeah. Anytime,” Sokka said in what might have been a whisper himself. “Um- anyone else?”
“What?”
“Is there anyone else that that you wondered what they looked like?”
“Maybe- some other time, Sokka. Thanks.”
“For what?” Sokka asked.
“I just had a- crummy day, and now it’s not so crummy. So, thanks,” she said, wondering why she was admitting anything so uncomfortable.
“Anytime,” Sokka said, and Toph could hear that he was still smiling.
Lesson Three- Privacy
*****Sokka*****
“Hey, Katara, what do you say to having a real bed to sleep on tonight?” He and Aang had just finished making the arrangements, but he was sure everyone would be happy. Well, mostly he had made the arrangements, and had just wanted to keep Aang in sight and out of trouble when they were hiding in the Fire Nation, but still, the kid could at least feel helpful. “Real baths too.”
“Sokka, don’t taunt me,” his sister warned, smiling at him.
“The rooms are cheap, even if they made me get three of them because there are so many of us now, and it comes with food. And I got first floor rooms, which have dirt floors, so Toph can see and bend in them- so long as they are back to the way they are now when we leave,” he clarified. He didn’t like the idea of them sneaking away after trashing the place, which sometimes seemed to happen in their journeys, even if it wasn’t exactly their fault usually- well, sometimes Zuko’s but he was with the good guys now.
“Katara, I put your things with mine in the last room-” Aang started explaining. What?!
“Woah, woah, hey! Katara’s not sharing a room with any guy unless it’s me,” Sokka said in panic, looking around the group. Did Zuko look angry at the little avatar pipsqueak as well? That wouldn’t be good either. Sokka didn’t need another guy to have to scare away. Aang was still mostly harmless- maybe. Or not.
Katara was blushing and looked very uncomfortable. “The girls will be fine sharing a room, right Suki? And Toph will want to sleep on the floor anyway, right?”
“Yeah. I’m not sure what this whole fuss is over beds. I could just sleep outside but- thanks for getting first floor rooms, Snoozles,” Toph told him. Yes, so he did that right at least.
“One of you guys can have a room to yourself,” Katara said.
“You want it, Aang?” Sokka offered. “Or Zuko, maybe you’d rather-”
“You can have it, Sokka,” Aang said brightly. Maybe too brightly.
“I’m fine,” Sokka maintained.
“No, really. You should take it,” Aang insisted, again with too wide of a smile.
“I don’t want it. What are you doing, Aang?” Sokka asked.
“You snore, and the avatar doesn’t want to share a room with you, but he’s trying not to say it,” Zuko put in with a growl. "Just take the room, and I’ll survive one night with the all-powerful child,” Zuko groused, but he didn’t seem that upset. Sokka turned to Aang for confirmation, and his friend looked embarrassed and smiled, this time genuine and maybe apologetically, but he didn’t deny the older boy’s summary.
“Fine,” Sokka huffed. “I’d rather have more room to myself anyway.”
Rooms were chosen and each went to their rooms to change or settle before they’d meet down for dinner. Zuko and Aang had gotten the largest room, because it had two separate small beds. Sokka and the girls’ room was the same, one large bed, which Katara and Suki wouldn’t mind sharing, and Toph would be happiest on the floor anyway. Sokka looked around at the empty room, gently placing his non-valuables by the large, lonely bed. He’d never had a bed that big to himself. He hadn’t had many beds to himself at all, anything bigger than a sleeping roll, and he didn’t really want to. Staying here had sounded fun and relaxing, but now Sokka couldn’t wait to just get back on the road. He hoped everyone else enjoyed it a lot and that dinner was at least good.
Sokka sat at the table with Toph on his left and Aang on his right. Suki was across from him, but thankfully not looking at him. Things had been- tense since their group got smaller. It was easier for two people who kissed that one time to avoid each other in a big group rather than when there were only six of you. It would have been easier if Sokka had wanted to see if there was something there, like Suki had wanted to. It almost made sense- two normal warriors around all these great benders. They had a lot in common, but maybe that wasn’t enough. At first he avoided her because of Yue. Now, he wasn’t sure. The food arrived to divert his attention like nothing else could.
“Spicy komodo chicken forward one, right one,” Sokka murmured to Toph, mentioning her favorite of the foods in front of them first. She reached for it eagerly, and Sokka nudged the serving fork towards her until she smoothly grabbed it. “Turtleduck rice in front of you. Noodles with some vegetables on your left. Some kind of fish dish in front of Katara,” he named out all of the major dishes on the table, and grabbed the serving fork for the komodo chicken when Toph put it back. When they didn’t make everything too hot to eat, the Fire Nation could make some good food. Everything was delicious, made even more so by their lackluster meals in the last weeks on the road, though since he never cooked, he tried not to complain.
He smiled at the scandalized look on Katara’s face when Toph burped loudly. Not to be outdone, Aang followed up with one of his own, and the airbender’s belch was enough to splatter food on everyone on the opposite side of the table, making Sokka very glad for his chosen seat. He and Toph were safe. The others- not so much.
Too soon, dinner was over, and everyone split into their respective rooms, planning on having an early night.
“You’re awake,” Toph said, entering his room. Of course he was still awake, alone, not even able to hear anyone else breathing. He wasn’t even in bed yet, so she’d have no problem tracking him on the dirt floor.
“Not tired,” he said.
“Not true,” she countered. Yeah, she could see through that one. Or- feel through it, he supposed. It was really easy to forget that she couldn’t actually see. “It also wasn’t the truth earlier when you said you’d be happier with more room to yourself. Why?”
“I don’t like to sleep alone,” he admitted.
“What?”
“I don’t like to sleep alone. I never did growing up. There’s only ever one bed in the hut, and you just make it bigger if you have more people- throw on more furs, more bedding. Mom, Dad, Katara, and me. Sometimes Gran Gran. It’s bad enough when we make camp and we’re spread out. In separate rooms, I can’t even hear anyone else.”
“You can’t hear those people next door?” Toph teased him. Or maybe she was serious- she did have better ears than he did. And maybe he did hear something… “They’ve been moaning forever, wrestling around or something on the floor. I can’t quite make sense of it,” she said, twisting her feet in the dirt floor.
Oh. That was what they were doing… “Woah, woah, woah. Toph you can’t- feel what they’re doing.”
“Yes, I can. I couldn’t at first because I guess they were on the bed, but they were shaking it, and then they got on the floor, so I can feel it fine. They just aren’t making sense-” She can feel that? He supposed the walls don’t mean anything to her.
“No, Toph, I mean, you shouldn’t try to feel what they’re doing. It’s private. Really private. Just- get off the floor or- stop trying to watch!” he spluttered, trying to make sense of it. Could she just turn down the sensitivity of her super sense? Did it really matter that much when it was just some Fire Nation strangers in another room that they’d never meet? It still didn’t feel right though.
“Well, what are they doing then, if you know?” she asked.
“Just- sit on the bed and I’ll tell you okay?” Toph actually complied, and of course then he’d be stuck explaining it to her…
“So… I’m waiting, Meathead.”
“They’re- they’re making a baby. Or- maybe. They’re doing the- thing I talked about before that sometimes makes a baby,” he managed to say.
“Sometimes?”
“Yeah, sometimes it doesn’t work, especially if the woman isn’t at- um peak fertility. Sometimes- sometimes people aren’t actually trying to make a baby when they do it. It’s called having sex,” he said, face so red that he was glad Toph couldn’t see. “Or- making love.”
“So- it feels good?” she asked. What? What was he supposed to say to that? She kept talking, “Because they’ve been making those moaning noises that I thought were over pain at first, but now I’m pretty sure that they must really like it.” Toph!
“Yeah. It- feels good. Or it doesn’t at first for girls but— it does eventually,” Sokka answered awkwardly. It was just another completely objective lesson that Toph needed to know at some point, and it didn’t seem like anyone else was going to tell her.
“So- you’ve done it?” she asked slowly.
“No!” he answered quickly.
“Then how do you know it feels good?” she pushed him further.
“Because - because everyone says it does. I mean, people keep doing it.”
“But people seem to like having kids so…”
“That’s not the only reason,” Sokka said, unsure why he was still talking about this.
“I could stay in here,” Toph said slowly. Sokka froze for a second before thinking back to their last conversation- yeah, about him being a baby who didn’t want to sleep in a room by himself. But she was still talking, “The girls will just stay up talking and giggle all the time anyway. I’d much rather deal with snoring. I probably snore too anyway.”
“I-” he should tell her no, that it was silly. “Thanks.” He wouldn't fight if she was doing something nice, even making up reasons that she should stay other than just to keep him company.
“Of course, I guess I’ll have to stay up here since I’m not allowed on the floor until the love birds next door are done,” she teased. “I’d normally protest, because I never really saw the point of beds when dirt’s so comfortable, but this bed is pretty soft,” she said, patting the cloth covers on the mattress.
“That’s fine. I don’t mind the floor,” Sokka said. It was better than the ground they slept on outside with rocks and itchy plants everywhere. It would be worth it to have someone else nearby.
“You can share a little bed with four other people, but you’re scared out of a giant bed from just little me,” she said. What? Sokka couldn’t read her tone, and her face wasn’t being very expressive.
“It is a big, soft bed,” Sokka agreed, sitting on the opposite side from the one Toph had settled on. He would much rather sleep on the bed than the floor, if Toph would be there either way. It wasn’t really any different than home was it? Of course it was- Toph wasn’t Katara. But- she probably saw him the same way, so it… shouldn’t be any different as far as he was concerned either.
Sokka shut off the lamp on the lone table by the bed, flame quickly suffocated. There would be light from the window in the morning. He laid down on his side of the bed, laying on his back looking up at the black ceiling. His eyes were already adjusting to the darkness so that he could see the uneven pieces of wood making up the ceiling and wished they were stars. Toph wasn’t missing anything not seeing this room, but it would be nice to show her the stars, or the leaves on the trees. Maybe he could talk about them sometime. Except, she probably wouldn’t want to hear it.
Sokka was pretty sure their rowdy neighbors finally stopped, from the sound of one last, louder scream that didn’t even sound masculine or feminine. But Toph didn’t say anything about leaving the bed, and neither did he. Sokka felt her slip under the cloth covers. It was different than home, but just as good. She rolled until her back was lightly touching his right side. Okay, maybe it was better.
Lesson Four- Normal Reactions
*****Toph*****
He was sitting on the ground- naked. No, just with his pants against his ankles, his back against a tree. His heart was beating faster than if he were fighting. His right hand moved up and down the… thing on his lap, and his left hand gripped tightly on the ground.
“What are you doing? And what is that- thing between your legs?” It was part of him, she could tell, full of pulsing blood. She knew men were sensitive to being hit between their legs but… what she was sensing was very different than normal.
“Toph!” he sounded more scared than she’d ever heard. He scrambled to cover himself, and she couldn’t see him with as much clarity now, fabric in the way. And then he scrambled to his feet, leaning heavily on the tree he had been hiding behind.
“Toph- it’s nothing. A really private nothing,” he said hurriedly.
“Meathead, you don’t get away with that with me. You tell me stuff instead of lying like a coward. I already know when you’re lying anyway,” she told him.
“But- fine, okay, let me- think,” Sokka protested. And took a few deep breaths. Toph really wasn’t that patient. “The thing you sensed is the- part of a man that can get a woman pregnant if it- goes inside her…”
“No way,” Toph denied easily. “You said it would have to go where I bleed from, and that’s a tiny hole. Maybe my feet can’t see as well as your eyes, but there’s no way that giant thing would fit.”
“It’s not- do you really?- Toph,” he was whining again.
“And that is not always there. I think I’d notice if you had a whole fifth limb. Especially when we sleep together.
“Toph it-. You shouldn’t phrase what… we do like that. And… it gets bigger sometimes- including sometimes when I’m asleep. It’s a- totally normal reaction. And I- do my best to hide it.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s- not something polite company talks about.”
“When have I ever been polite company?”
“It’s just- really private, because it’s- like I said, the… part of a man that can get a woman pregnant and that’s… really private and special. But- when a guy gets to be a certain age he- sometimes… So- okay- in… sex, fluid comes out that can get the woman pregnant. And if a guy… isn’t having sex, it will sometimes just come out on its own while he’s sleeping. Which is really bad and awkward when he shares a bed, especially with a… woman. So he has to… do stuff to get the fluid out when he’s not asleep,” Sokka settled on when he was done stumbling over his words.
“You still haven’t explained how that giant thing could ever fit inside of me.”
“Toph it- it’s not really giant. You just haven’t seen- I mean sensed anyo- and you really shouldn’t.”
“I wouldn’t try to find out how big someone else’s thing is. It that a big deal? But- the other guys do this too- getting the fluid out?”
“I- really wouldn’t want to know if they did. But- um probably. Maybe not Aang. He seems… really innocent.”
“So how does the thing that you insist isn’t giant, but I can tell actually is, supposed to fit in me?” Toph said, fed up with his evasion. Who was he to say what was or wasn’t huge when it didn’t have to go inside his body? Not that… he would ever want to put it in her body… or that anyone else would ever want to…
“It- well- I've heard… I think… when a woman is… relaxed, it gets easier. It- stretches, but maybe not enough at first and can… hurt.”
“Then why do people keep doing it?”
“Because it… feels really good. Or- well, it always feels good for the man, and is supposed to feel good for the woman too- like worth it eventually. I really don’t know that much about this stuff.”
“Does getting the fluids out yourself feel good too?”
“Yeah, it does,” he sighed. “Not as- good as really- having sex would, I think. But- yeah, it does, but that’s not the point,” he said a little defensively.
“The point’s to not accidentally get me pregnant?”
“I- well, that would be really unlikely. Mostly to save embarrassment, but I’m pretty embarrassed right now.”
“’You shouldn’t be. Your thing seems nice, but I really don’t want it to get me pregnant.”
“Can you- give me some privacy, Tonks?”
“So you can finish getting the fluid out?”
“Yeah,” he admitted, half-whisper. Boys were strange. And it was probably good that no one else at camp could tell how fast her heart was beating.
Lesson Five- Kissing and Special Reactions
*****Toph*****
Toph had been crawling inside of Sokka’s sleeping bag for weeks. She would have thought that she would have minded being in such an enclosed space with another person, so different than any way that she had slept before, but she craved it now. She hated those few nights when Sugar Queen would get it in her mind that they should set up a big tent or just sleep under the stars. She… might have noticed that Sokka sometimes put up his tent even if the others didn’t. And Toph could always just set up her earth tent and escape under it.
“Toph, have you ever kissed a boy?” Sokka asked quietly. Toph didn’t even need them to be touching the earth to feel Sokka’s heart beating faster. They didn’t usually talk much, probably for fear of being heard. It- wasn’t like they were doing anything wrong, she told herself, but it would be uncomfortable to be discovered.
“No,” she replied. When would she have had time to kiss a guy when they were traveling around the world? But then, she knew Sokka had kissed two girls while he was traveling, maybe more back in the South Pole before that. Toph was barely ever around people near her own age before setting out with the gang.
“Is that- something you’re curious about?” he was breathing heavily too.
“What do you mean?” she asked, glad that Sokka wouldn’t be able to notice her own heart rate.
“I mean- We have this thing, you know, where you ask me about something and I- explain it. And I- wondered. I- hoped you were curious about- kissing because- that’s really something you can only explain by showing and, Toph- I wanttokissyou,” he finished admitting quietly.
He wanted to kiss her? He- didn’t think of her as some annoying child who didn’t know anything? “Sokka?” her mouth was so dry. “What does it feel like to kiss someone?”
It felt amazing, like a really good hug with more things to do. Sokka’s hands came to her face and he neck. After a moment, Toph put hers on his shoulders, his arms, his back, the places she’d felt as they cuddled at night when she was trying to not let it look like she wanted to feel his body. Sokka pulled away first, but only barely.
“There’s two types of kissing, you know,” Sokka said, breathing heavily from their kiss, even though he had been breathing through his nose the whole time, so there was no- physical reason Toph knew of to be breathing so hard. But she was practically panting too.
“No, I didn’t know.”
“Well, there’s closed-mouthed kissing, like that. I’ve only done that before and- never that long and nice before now,” he said so nicely. Toph didn’t like to think about him kissing those other girls, and maybe Sokka understood that too. “But there’s also open-mouthed kissing where you- well- open mouths and can- stick your tongues in each other’s mouths and- it’s supposed to be nice.”
She- really hoped that he wanted her to keep playing along. “Sokka, what does that feel like?” she asked, smiling until his lips met hers again. Toph had always thought that tongues were a little gross, but Sokka’s wasn’t, even if it felt too big for her mouth, and her own tongue kept getting in the way. Her fingers brushed into his loose hair. She liked it when he let his hair loose for the night, the way it would fall in her face sometimes. She liked it even better now between her fingers.
Again, Sokka ended the kiss first, but he held her tightly against him.
“So, should we- say something about this to the others?” Sokka asked as Toph had just settled her head onto his shoulder.
“Do you want to?” Toph replied. Totally a non-helpful answer, she knew.
“Yeah,” he whispered. “I do. I’ve- wanted to say something for a while, but there wasn’t really anything to say and- it wasn’t something they would really understand. Well, maybe Katara would, because she probably doesn’t like sleeping alone either but… But pretty soon it felt like there was more to it than… just keeping me company.”
“I’m good for more than just my body heat?” she tried to tease, but really wanted to hear the answer.
“Yes, Toph. Of course.”
She snuggled into his body, wanting to be as close to him as possible, momentarily surprised when hands grabbed her hips to push her lower half away.
She smirked. She knew what was going on this time. She was sorry she hadn’t even gotten to feel it.
“So… your thing getting all big and hard- that’s a normal reaction when you sleep? What about when you’re kissing a girl. Is it a normal reaction then?” she teased.
“Um- a special reaction,” he murmured. “Just you.”
“Good.”
Lesson Six- Telling News
*****Sokka*****
Toph still left in the morning to emerge from her own earth tent. There was no reason to share every detail of their lives just yet.
As Sokka crawled out of his own tent and looked at all of their friends doing the same, he realized that they hadn’t really discussed how to tell everyone. Toph seemed content sitting around moving some dirt around, though he thought she was nervous. So then, maybe it was his job to break the news? How was he supposed to do that?
“Um, Toph and I are going out,” he said aloud to the group, when he couldn’t think of any subtler way to say it.
“Are you going into a town? We could use some more rice,” Katara said. Rice sounded good.
“No um, just that we’re seeing each other,” he tried again.
“Toph can’t really see anyone,” Aang said, confused. Stupid, stupid avatar. Stupid, stupid, Sokka.
“I can handle this one, Meathead. Sokka’s trying to tell you guys that we kissed, and plan to keep doing it.” Sokka knew his face was read. She just said it like that .
“What?” Katara reacted first. Of course she did.
“Toph ” he whined.
“Hey, my way worked, and yours wasn’t,” she said. He couldn’t really disagree there.
“That’s great!” Aang said, now that he knew what was going on. Sokka felt bad for hating him a moment ago. At least he was on their side. Good guy avatar.
“Katara?” he asked. He would prefer to have his family’s approval on things that mattered.
“Well,” she started slowly. “No offense, Toph, but you are a little young…”
“She’s older than Aang,” Sokka shot back defensively. She had turned thirteen recently, and she was a woman.
“Well not- exactly.”
“Oh, for La’s sake, Aang is not a hundred and twelve years old.”
“No, of course not,” Katara agreed, shakily. She glanced around at each of their members- him, Toph, Aang, Zuko, Suki. Sokka tried not to look at Suki, and she wasn’t saying anything. “That’s great, you two,” Katara finally said. Sokka smiled and released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Well, this was a day that Toph got to show him how something’s done- not that she didn’t do that all the time.
Lesson Seven- Moving Forward
*****Toph*****
“Hey,” Sokka said, plopping down beside her. “Not into the celebration?” he asked.
“It’s alright,” she said.
“Seems like everything is going to stay alright too. Zuko will be crowned Fire Lord next week. We’re being put up in some pretty nice rooms until then, I hear, or longer, if we want. Stone floors,” he said, so casually dropping that piece of information that no one else would even think about for her. She hated wooden floors. “And then it’s over. Really over.” For all his talk about celebration, he didn’t sound all that happy either.
“So, then you go home and be- chief of your tribe or something right?” Toph said, kicking a stone between her feet.
“What? No, my dad’s chief, and he will be for years, several more decades if everything goes well.” His dad did seem like a nice guy from the little she’d met of him.
“But you’ll be chief after that,” Toph said. In the South Pole, quarter of the world away or more. With all the ice where she couldn’t walk around barefoot. And where she wasn’t sure if there even was real earth under all that snow and ice that everyone talks about. But then Sokka was shaking his head. She could feel it.
“It’s not always inherited like it is in the North Pole, and the other nations. I mean, it sometimes is- my grandfather and great-grandfather were chief, but someone else was before that. And my dad- he’s not really treated much different than anyone else- just has more work to do. We were hungry more than most of the families when seasons were bad, because that’s just how it was.
“They’ll want you to be chief, Snoozles. You’ll be a good one. You’ve been the leader of our group, even though we’ve had several master benders and the avatar .”
“I wasn’t really the leader,” Sokka said, though she could tell that he liked her saying it. She seemed to remember him saying he was the leader a few times in their journey.
“Yes you are. Were,” She sighed, “I guess it’s over. Everyone’ll split up. Sparky’ll stay here and try to fix his country. You and Sugar Queen will go back to the South Pole. Aang will go and- do whatever avatar and airbender stuff there is. Actually, maybe Sugar Queen will go wherever Aang does and make little airbenders on the full moons. Or did she like Zuko? Maybe she’ll make little princes and princesses. I could never really keep up with her.”
“IIIAAAYYYIIIIAAAYYYIIIAAAYYY- I can’t hear you saying those things about my little sister, Toph.”
“Ha. And maybe it was just sympathy for a fellow countryman, but I always rooted for Haru. He’s nice and doesn’t need to be mothered- though I guess Sugar Queen likes to be mothering... so she’ll probably start popping out kids before too long.”
“Toph please! And hey, what are you going to do next?” he asked in too casual of a voice. She’d been quiet about future plans of her own, mostly because she hadn’t made any.
“Oh you know- fighting, being the greatest bender alive. Wherever the fight takes me. I know the Earth Rumble would love to have me back but I- don’t know if I’m really ready to be that close to my- parents yet,” too honest there. She needed to lighten it up. “I heard there are some organized firebender matches around here somewhere. I wonder if they’d let the best earthbender ever join? Or, I thought I might go see this King Bumi that you guys have talked so much about. I know he was around here somewhere for the comet, but I’m sure he’ll go back to Omashu. With that jennamite bending, he seems to be inventive. I think he could learn metal bending and maybe even teach me a few things.”
“That sounds- like something I’d like to see…” Sokka said softly. What?
“To bad you’ll be in the South Pole then. But- maybe I’ll add the South Pole to the list of places I’d visit.” She would too, had already planned on it, and she would never complain, even if it sounded absolutely miserable there. She hadn’t been sad that she’d missed out on the group’s journey to the North either, with their ice palace or whatever.
“Why do you- think I’d have to go back to the South Pole if you think Katara might not? Why do I have to?
“To be the chief-in-training or whatever. I told you.”
“Maybe I won’t be the next chief,” he said.
“I told you they’d pick you,” she said, getting annoyed with him now. This way too modest thing wasn’t him, not about stuff like this at least.
“Maybe I’d say no,” she almost missed that.
“Why?” She couldn’t think of a reason.
“There’s- not much dirt there. There’s some further inland if you dig deep down, but there’s not much reason to bother, because we live near the water where there’s fish. And it’s really cold. Everyone has to wear thick boots and tons of other stuff so we don’t freeze.”
“So? Don’t you love that stuff?”
“I handle it okay. But- you wouldn’t.” What?
“What? ” Why would he care so much if she’d like where he was going to live? She already said she’d visit anyway.
“I thought I’d- see where you were going next and- if I could go with you,” he said in that same fake-casual tone as his heart raced. “I- I’d like to visit home sometimes, but you wouldn’t want to stay there.”
“So you what- want to follow me? No plans of your own?” that sounded meaner than she wanted it to. “That doesn’t sound like Sokka, the plan man.”
“But see, the key to the best sorts of plan is that they make someone happy. In this case, me. And you too, I hope. And I have some other plans too, but- really long term plans, and they can’t be done in the South Pole anyway.”
“What are they?” Toph asked, curious of these plans from this boy who wanted to follow her. Her.
“I just- You know what you were saying about everyone just going home? Well, that doesn’t work for a lot of people. Think about the Fire Nation colonies. Those are made up of Fire Nation and Earth Nation people. I bet a lot of them have married and had kids, and it’s not just going to go back to separate nations. And- here, with everyone here together because of the comet. Loads of people are friends and- more than friends with people from different nations.”
Sokka continued, “I think there should be another place where- where there aren’t really nations, just people. I guess I see it more, not having bending. I’m not really much different than an Earth Nation person without bending. I mean, I’d never give up my heritage but- it just- seems like there should be a place where people from different nations live together. And to have a leader or maybe more than one leader by the choice of the people, not like a king or queen. And- does that make sense?”
“Yeah.” It sounded like some place where she and Sokka could be together that didn’t involve lots of ice and snow boots. Was- was that what he had in mind?
“So- until then, you want to follow me around?” she asked.
“Would you let me?” he asked.
“I can take care of myself, you know,” she said.
“Of course I know. Surely the whole world knows that by now- literally,” he laughed. Her parents didn’t know.
“But sometimes it’s nice to have help, from someone who doesn’t think it makes me weak. Little stuff like telling me what food is in front of me at a restaurant so I don’t just have to eat it and find out. And handling money and shopping stuff. And- telling me life stuff that no one else has.”
“I can do that,” Sokka whispered. She thought he might be close to crying, but he still seemed happy, really happy even.
“Sounds like a good plan we came up with together then. And it doesn’t really have to be you following me. You’re better at maps, and I- don’t really know where I’d want to go anyway,” she admitted.
“I don’t even care where we go, if I’m with you, Toph,” he said, gripping her hand tightly. Maybe she could enjoy the celebrations for a while. And enjoy staying in the palace for at least until Sparky sat on his throne. Sleeping off the ground wasn’t bad when she wasn’t alone.