Chapter Text
Something stirred Jyn within her dreamless, drug-induced sleep. She was far from being awake, but conscious enough to feel the heat of her brain boiling itself from her days-long fever. Cool tingles dotted her brow. Mumbled words pricked her ears. Someone was trying to wake her, but couldn’t they see she was trying to sleep?
When she stirred again, her body felt like it would float off of Cassian’s bed if it hadn’t been for her bowling ball of a head anchoring her down in his pillow. She opened her eyes and saw that the room was as dark as she left it, but something felt different. With a wild hand she managed to switch the light on and see through gummy eyes that someone had cleaned up the mess that had been accumulating on her bedside. A new, full box of tissues, a canteen of water and a thermos of sweet, floral tea made it clear that Cassian had come back (had he come back early? She had no idea what day it was so he probably came back on time). More evidence of Cassian’s presence was the plush green blanket as thick and warm as a wampa pelt tucked around her.
However, there was no Cassian to be seen. Was it in the middle of the day and he was stuck in a meeting, or was it in the middle of the night and he was sleeping somewhere so he didn’t catch her flu from hell? Or worse, maybe he was passing through from one assignment to the next and she missed him completely. She curled into herself to stifle a cry--she was already feeling like shit without having to make the pressure in her head worse by crying.
The doorknob beeped and the door creaked open just enough to let a little hallway light inside and reveal Cassian’s wiry frame. Her heart fluttered with joy when she heard his subtle footfalls as he pad-footed across the room towards the ’fresher, but she couldn’t wait any longer.
“Welcome home,” she croaked.
She breathed a weak laugh when she heard him absolutely freeze. She wanted to tease him a little more and tell him that it must be a snow day in hell to catch him off guard, but her throat was already stinging from greeting him.
“Hey,” he whispered as he knelt by her. “I heard you weren’t feeling so well.”
He brushed her stringy bangs back, then kissed her sticky forehead. She half wished he hadn’t done that -- she hadn’t showered in days and, most importantly, she didn’t want him to get sick--but she sighed a relieved, floaty sigh. Cassian was here.
“What time is it?” she mumbled.
“Almost dinner. When was the last time you ate?”
She shrugged, because what was time anymore when she felt herself start to drift off again, soothed by his fingers combing back her greasy hair.
The oily smell of rehydrated bantha bone broth made her groan as she woke up again. Cassian sat next to her, stirring the steaming bowl of soup with a tin spoon.
“Hungry?”
She groaned again, too exhausted and achy to move. Her last functioning braincell whimpered at her that she needed to eat to get better, then fizzled out. Cassian set the bowl down on the side table and helped her up, arranging their two pillows so she was at least upright. Chills ran down her spine, her hands trembling as she forced them out from underneath the blankets. The thought of having to feed herself made her bones ache.
“Do you think you’ll spill on yourself?” Cassian asked as he took the bowl in his hands.
“Probably.”
He scooted close enough to feed her. Every strained swallow of a mouthful of broth brought relief to her sore, dry throat. Cassian cut the small bits of the browned meat into even smaller pieces so she could swallow it with the broth. Halfway through the bowl she felt the soup bubbling up in throat, and she had to stop.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Don’t be,” he answered, then kissed her forehead. “How long have you had your fever?”
She shrugged, her head lolling towards him as she fought to stay awake, but she felt so heavy and full. She heard him rustling through the side desk, then felt something cool and rectangular press against her forehead. Her eyes opened just as a temperature of 38.9 flashed on the screen of the hand scanner and Cassian’s mouth pressed together into a rigid line.
“Well, if it doesn’t start to go down by tomorrow morning, I’m taking you to the medbay,” he said, his voice soft but the intent behind it as solid as durasteel.
“I already went,” she whined, already dreading the long trek back to the medbay.
“I know, but I’ll be with you this time. If you need it.”
His fingers curled over her flushed cheek, his hard frown softening until she can read the silent plea on his face.
“Okay,” she grumbled.
He let out a sigh of relief and kissed her cheek -- damn, he really could get sick if he kept doing that, but that didn’t stop her from reaching up to kiss the bristly underside of his jaw.
“I missed you,” she whispered, swallowing back the tears in her eyes.
“Me too,” he murmured between kisses on her hairline. “Especially when I heard you were sick. I’m sorry I couldn’t come sooner.”
“I don’t even know what day it is, so you came right on time.”
“Bodhi told me he took you to the medbay four days ago.”
She remembered Bodhi helping her walk while her head felt like it was about to spin off and float away. “Right. Where did he go?”
“Mission straight after.”
She could read him piecing together the fact that she was on medical leave, never left his room, and survived off hidden rations she remembered to eat before she stopped leaving the bed all together. Now that she had something in her belly, it didn’t take long for her bladder to wake up too. Jyn grunted as she pushed back her blankets so she could get out. Cassian caught on quick and helped her out of bed, never leaving her as she wobbled toward the ’fresher. The moment she collapsed on the toilet he offered to help her with a shower.
Naked and nestled between Cassian’s legs, Jyn shivered until the steam wrapped around her like a quilt and the water ran hot down her head. She leaned back into Cassian’s hands as they massaged shampoo in her hair, his fingers pausing at a gnarly knot that had been growing on the back of her head for the past few days. She trusts that he got it out when he moves on to the rest of her head, a stream of suds running over her breasts. His hands lowered down to her arms and rubbed slow, soapy circles down her back. She let out a satisfied moan that was muffled by the pulse between her ears.
Cassian didn’t force her to move when he turned the water off. He brought the towel to her and gently squeezed the water out of her hair before patting the rest of her dry. She slumped towards him, trying and failing to scrape up the will to stand up on her own feet. He splayed a hand on her back and nudged her legs to hook his free hand under her knees. A sluggish worry about his back fell on a tongue too exhausted to speak. She threw her arms around his neck, his grunts vibrating against her ear as he lifted her up.
The first careful steps felt like she was floating through a cloud, but the chilly air slapped the exposed body as Cassian carried her out of the ’fresher. As soon as he laid her down, he was quick to grab her softest clothes to dress her in before he threw on his sleeping clothes and joined her underneath the covers.
“Do you remember the last time you took your meds?” he whispered.
She wanted to say no but her mouth was too dry, so she shook her head instead. In a heartbeat there was a canteen at her lips and pills pressed into her hand. Blindly she took her medicine and drank as much of the tepid water that she could stomach. He tried to get her to rest on a pillow but she tucked her head under his chin, and breathed him in until she slipped into sleep.
Jyn woke up cocooned in Cassian’s arms, his slow, even breath fluttering against the back of her head. Even though she was warm and comfortable, she felt truly awake for the first time since the fever started, aware enough to flush at the thought that she let Cassian take care of her so thoroughly. She could have fed herself, she could have crawled to the ’fresher and sat on the floor to take a shower (eventually). They had each other’s back, especially on the field, but trusting Cassian to shoot Stormtroopers before they could reach her and trusting him to rinse the soap out of her hair after he washed it were two completely different things.
Cassian drew a long breath and his pulse quickened beneath her ear, and she knew he was awake before he kissed her forehead and mumbled, “Feeling better?”
“Much,” she said hoarsely.
He twisted around to bring the canteen to her lips, something she also could have done herself but found herself not caring as she drank while his hand stroked gently between her shoulder blades. After she drank, he put back the canteen and pulled out the mediscanner. Jyn still had a fever, but it had dropped a couple of degrees during the night. She snuggled tighter around him and hummed with relief.
“Should I get breakfast?” he yawned.
Her stomach rumbled in response, but she didn’t let go. “Five more minutes.”
He chuckled quietly, then combed his fingers through her hair. Jyn relaxed and felt silly for her embarrassing thoughts earlier. She knew could take care of herself, but she loved how Cassian took care of her too. He made her feel safe and the only person that mattered in their tiny bed in his small quarters out of hundreds in Echo Base’s labyrinth in a war-torn galaxy. He made her feel loved even though she hadn’t washed in days and could barely walk to the toilet.
Jyn planned to make him feel just as loved as soon as her fever completely evaporated and she regained the strength to carry out her ideas.