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Maybe he should’ve stayed in Rivet City.
Maybe he should’ve taken that power armor training.
He clenches his gun--Harkness’ gun--harder and wishes Harkness was with him. Sarah Lyons is a fierce fighter but he’d rather be huddled behind this wall with his boyfriend. Lyons is somewhere, they scattered when Autumn started shooting.
“Come on out, son. Let me see your face as I take you down.”
Rage shoots through him like electricity and lights every nerve on fire. “Don’t call me son!” he screams. That word is reserved only for his dad, who will never call him that again because of Autumn. Logan slithers out of cover and fires off round after round until Autumn’s forced to retreat back.
“Did I strike a nerve? Poor boy. But don’t you worry, it’ll all be over for you soon enough.”
“Give it up! Even if you kill me, you still have nothing. The Enclave is nothing.”
“On the contrary, the Enclave is at the height of its power. Oh, I know all about what happened. You think the Enclave is gone or that all our forces were destroyed? Raven Rock was a set back but Eden was a fool. What did a computer ever know about restoring America’s glory? Once you’re taken care of, those Brotherhood simpletons are next and then no one will stand in this country’s way.”
“Go ahead and try it!”
He hears Lyons’ shoot at him. Logan doesn’t care if he ultimately dies in this fight. It’s a realization that startles him but that makes it no less true. Nothing Autumn says or the Enclave does can scare him, intimidate him, affect him. What’s worse than murdering his dad, after all?
Still, that doesn’t mean he’s not going to fight. Autumn will never leave this rotunda as anything other than a corpse.
“Come out. I’ll make this quick so you can join your daddy.”
He wants to scream and cry and charge forward blindly. But he doesn’t, he just keeps clutching his gun. He pretends Harkness is peering around the corner, watching Autumn’s movements. He pretends his dad is beside him, reminding him to stay calm and that he loves him. Lyons shoots again and he hears Autumn curse at her.
“Shoot now, Logan,” and it sounds like Harkness is really in the rotunda. He doesn’t know if he’s finally gone crazy but he slides out of hiding and a second later, Autumn is pushed from his cover just enough for Logan to take the shot. The feeling of Harkness and his dad disappear as Autumn hits the ground. He’s not sure if he’s dead but Lyons rushes over first.
“That did it,” she says.
Logan approaches and watches his body bleed out. Autumn deserved to die. But Logan feels no differently. He thought he’d gain a little satisfaction or a little closure, but he has none. He eyes the pistol on the floor. Now that he’s closer, he remembers it being pointed at his dad. There’s noise from the intercom but he can’t hear what they’re saying from here.
“Good riddance,” Lyons spits before running to it.
Autumn’s evilness is over and Logan just wants to bury the memories forever. He takes one last look then follows at a slower pace. He recognizes Li’s voice and she sounds frantic. He understand the words she’s saying--purifier, damaged, needs to be started--but it’s not until Sarah speaks to him that realization sets in.
“So...should we draw straws? We don’t got much time to think about this.”
Logan suddenly laughs and she looks at him like he’s insane. “I’ll do it,” he says easily, perhaps more easily than any sane person could. “Look...I’ll do it. You got soldiers to lead and all that and I’ve got...” He stares inside the irradiated chamber his dad died in. “I’m okay with this.”
“Are you sure? We both heard Li, the radiation in there is still off the charts. Whoever goes in isn’t coming out.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” He puts his gun down and takes his pip-boy off. “I’ll speak fast. Give that to Harkness please, Rivet City’s security chief. Give all my other belongings at the Citadel to him too. And tell him I love him and that I’m grateful he’s been by my side during the hardest time of my life.” He takes a deep breath.
“I will. I swear it. We’ll get this water to every corner of the Capital Wasteland.”
He nods and steps into the first chamber. As he watches the door close, he quietly apologizes to Harkness for abandoning him like this. He wanted to return to the Citadel with him but Logan insisted he’d be fine, they’d be fine coming on separate days, the Brotherhood wouldn’t shove him into battle immediately upon his arrival. He doesn’t want his last feelings on earth to be ones of guilt but he knows Harkness will blame himself for this.
But Logan can’t change course. Maybe this is how it was always meant to be since the day they escaped Vault 101. Dying in the same room in the same radiation his dad died in? Maybe this is some sort of destiny he doesn’t believe in. His dad sacrificed himself so that he and the scientists could escape, Logan’s letting himself die and saying it’s for Lyons and the wasteland. He’s not afraid of death anymore, he only wishes he could say goodbye to Harkness. Again he’s going to put him through this pain, except this time he won’t be walking through that market in a couple weeks to tell him he cheated death once more.
He stares into the room, air thick with the poison that’s going to kill him. He glances at the keypad. The second door begins opening.
Should he have taken rad-x? Brought radaway? What’s the point? All he needs is to press a few numbers and that’s it. He’s done. He can rest his weary bones and never have to fight in this place again.
The rest of the chamber fills with radiation and immediately his eyes burn and his lungs hurt. The first step forward is more difficult than he expected. This is really it. Even if he’s made peace with this, his body still panics. But he forces himself forward, forces the images of his dad collapsing against the door out of his mind.
His head’s already swimming as he looks down at the keypad. Just a few moments, that’s all he needs to stay coherent for.
“I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.”
Two.
His parents’ dream, started so many years ago, is finally coming to fruition. After so much hard work and sacrifice, the wasteland will have its water.
“I will give unto him...that is athirst-”
One.
His mother died here, his father died here. And now, Logan will die here too. This is exactly where he belongs. This was his beginning and it shall be his end. The Brotherhood claims it’ll distribute the water fairly but Logan can rest easily because he knows Harkness will ensure it.
“-o-of the...fountain of...the water of life...”
Six.
The radiation snakes tighter around his body, hitting harder than the raider who concussed him and dragging him beneath the surface of consciousness like a mutated monster dragging him deep into an ocean. His eyes struggle to stay open against the harsh environment and all he wants to do is give in and succumb and let the monster take him.
But not yet. Not quite yet. His legs shake violently, his fingers tingle, and his arms are numb. But he slides his hand over to the final button. His legs give out, he coughs as he lands on his knees.
Enter.
Something inside the purifier whirs and his head tilts up. Through the water, he sees the statue of Thomas Jefferson. On the brink of death, a smile crosses his lips. It’s done. Their work is done.
His vision blackens and he feels like he’s falling in slow motion. But there’s no pain when he hits the floor and the thought of his dad holding him and protecting him during his final moments comforts him. He thinks of his love for his dad and for Harkness and he thinks of how much they love him too. The purifier breathes new life into the wasteland as the last slivers of life leave his body and his heart feels full.
“...freely.”