Chapter Text
“Can we have just one normal day? Is that too much to ask?”
Mike flopped down in a chair. He took his hat off and rubbed his face in frustration. He had spent his day getting all three of his roommates out of scrapes and he was at a loss of how to approach the anger that was welling up inside him.
“We have normal days Mike. Remember the time when…and there was that day last month…” Micky trailed off.
“I know just last week we had a perfectly normal day at the beach,” Davy finished.
“Define normal,” Mike challenged.
“Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected,” Peter claimed.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m defining normal.”
Davy rolled his eyes and continued. “Nothing happened that was completely off putting.”
“You and Micky got into a volleyball match with these guys and lost.”
“Nothing out of the ordinary,” Micky reiterated.
“And they turned out to be smugglers that were storing stolen goods into those volleyballs,” Mike countered.
“And I think that’s why we lost. The volleyballs weren’t regulation,” Micky scoffed.
“That wasn’t too weird. It could have been worse,” Davy offered.
“Yeah if the smugglers realized you were onto them before we had to take Peter back home when he was stung by that jellyfish,” Mike bellowed.
“Oh yeah, now I agree with you Mike,” Micky said. “That jellyfish sting really put a damper on things. Way to go, Pete.”
Mike put his face back in his hands and shook his head. “Meanwhile I’ve spent my day running back and forth saving your behinds from one thing or another. I had to save Davy from a girl that was trying to get him to marry her so she could become a citizen. I can’t even begin to tell you what was wrong with that scenario. Peter was in jail for having stolen goods…”
“That guy on the street asked me to hold his box. How was I supposed to know that he had just stolen all that stuff and was on the run?” Peter protested.
“And Micky had a ‘brilliant idea’ that has gotten us banned from the Vincent Van Gogh Gogh for life!”
“Well, I didn’t know that they would be so touchy about having someone try to speed up their productivity.”
“You put rockets on the food trays without telling anyone! There were plates, cups, and silverware flying all over the place!”
“I see what the problem is here,” Davy chimed in. “All of this is your fault.”
“My fault!” Mike yelled.
“Yes, you’re always telling us we can’t do things which make us challenge you and then you help us out of scrapes once we’re in trouble. You’re reinforcing our behavior.”
Mike was fuming. How dare anyone blame their stupidity on him? Mike slowly began to stand up and reach his full height. Peter hid behind the spiral staircase. Micky moved out of the way knowing that he wasn’t Mike’s intended target. Mike approached Davy and squared up to the shorter man the best he could.
“Do you want to try explaining that to me again and choosing your words more carefully?” Mike said through gritted teeth.
Davy puffed out his chest. He was never one to back down from a fight. “I think you heard me the first time. You’re always trying to parent us and then we feel the need to rebel. Rebelling has never done anyone any favors, so we end up in trouble. It’s a classic case of rebellion.”
Peter suddenly was wearing a helmet and ducked under the table with his fingers in his ears waiting for the explosion. Micky considered stepping in but thought better of it. Davy, bless his soul, was not backing down even though his knees were obviously buckling under him. Mike moved his neck from side to side cracking in loudly. Then he did something unexpected…he just walked away. He turned around and headed up the staircase into his bedroom.
Once he shut the door, the other three that had been holding their breath, finally started breathing again.
“What was that about?” Peter said crawling out from under the table.
“Yeah I was sure he was going to blow his stack. Why do you have to antagonize him like that?” Micky asked.
“I don’t think it’s fair that he blames us for everything when he is just as much to blame,” Davy answered.
“I don’t know maybe we need to take more responsibility for ourselves,” Peter offered.
“Peter, sweet naïve Peter, we aren’t nearly capable of something like that,” Micky stated. “So what are we going to do about Mike having his wool hat in a twist?”
“Maybe he’ll forget about it?” Peter said weakly.
All three laughed hysterically.
“We can’t do anything unless we know where his head is at. Usually his reactions are predictable, but this one had thrown me through a loop,” Davy answered.
“Yeah, Davy I think you may have defeated him and he doesn’t know what to do,” Micky half joked.
“No, it couldn’t be that easy. Something else is going on in his mind. I guess we wait.”
Micky, Peter, and Davy treaded lightly out of the downstairs bedroom. Micky had to admit that last night he was afraid to share a room with an unpredictably angry Mike. He had shared a bed with Peter and ended up being the small spoon, much to his chagrin.
Of course, Mike was already awake and at the table when they came out. No one knew exactly what kind of mood he would be in or what to even say. The three walked closely together afraid that if they separated Mike may strike one of them like a cobra. They continued to run into each other and get in each other’s way as they rummaged around the kitchen for something to eat. Mike wasn’t even looking at them as he was reading the newspaper.
“It seems like things would be easier if you weren’t all so close together,” he commented without looking up.
Peter took the lead since it seemed as though Mike could tolerate his shenanigans more than someone else’s’. “Morning Mike, how did you sleep?”
“Better than I have in a long time without Micky sawing logs next to me.”
Peter looked confused. “Since when is Micky a midnight lumberjack?”
“Since he hasn’t had much luck with the ladies,” Davy quipped.
“I see yesterday’s events haven’t caused anyone’s sense of humor to flounder,” Mike noted.
“Can’t let the man get you down,” Micky answered.
“Am I the man?” Mike deadpanned.
Micky became nervous and backed up closer to Peter. “No, no, not you! You thought I meant you? Pshaw! I meant…uh…our uh…own antics.”
“Nice save,” Davy whispered sarcastically.
“About those antics,” Mike continued, “I was thinking that we needed to hold a family meeting about that.”
The three others felt like groaning but were too afraid of Mike at the moment. They all gathered around the table as Mike banged his gavel three times.
“The events of yesterday were inexcusable. I can’t be expected to bail you guys out of every little mess that you make for yourselves.”
“But you do such a good job at it,” Peter said before Davy covered his mouth.
“Be that as it may, I realized Davy was right…”
The other three’s mouths dropped open.
“…it is partially my fault that you all rely on me so much out get you out of sticky situations.”
“Finally someone is making some sense around here,” Davy replied.
“I’ve decided that I’m going to stop bailing you guys out of things…In fact I’m not going to give you any of my wisdom and advice at all.”
“Pfft.”
“Excuse me, Mick,” Mike crossed his arms.
“There is absolutely no way you can keep your nose out of our business for an extended period of time. Davy has a better chance of not dating a girl before you don’t give us advice.”
“I don’t need to date girls that badly!” Davy said with offense. “I could certainly hold out longer than Peter could not fall for some ridiculous ruse.”
Peter looked hurt. “Are you calling me gullible?”
“I mean not gullible enough not to catch on to that.”
“I’m may be gullible but at least I don’t fall for my own ‘brilliant ideas’.”
“Ouch,” Micky said clutching his heart.
“Face it we all have vices that we are guilty of. And if you’re all planning on not doing anything stupid then I won’t have to offer my recommendations,” Mike said mater-of-factly.
“Care to make a wager on that?” Micky asked.
“What are you talking about?” Davy questioned.
“I propose we all give up our vices.”
Mike snorted. “Really? You three would be willing to just quit your shenanigans cold turkey?”
“What does Thanksgiving have to do with anything?” Peter asked confused.
“This already looks promising,” Davy said sarcastically.
“Why not? I know I can do it. Unless the rest of you are scared of a little competition…” Micky taunted.
“Ha! I have to beat you three! Piece of cake,” Davy commented.
“For how long?” Peter wondered.
“Well, until there is only one of us left that can be announced the winner. The other three have to give in to temptation at some point,” Micky responded.
“How am I gonna know if I’m being gullible?” Peter asked.
“That’s a good question,” Micky replied grabbing Peter’s shoulders. “I guess just stay out of circulation.”
“What would the stakes be?” Davy asked.
“Chores?” Peter offered.
“Oh please,” Mike shot the idea down, “you three don’t clean anything. How about setting up for gigs?”
“That’s not fair to me. If I won it would barely be a prize,” Davy complained. “What about money?’
“We don’t have any!” Mike exclaimed.
“Cool it guys, I’ve got it,” Micky said casually. “Since Mike had such a restful night, it only makes sense that the winner gets his own room and the losers all have to share.”
The other three looked at each other contemplating the idea. Sure a solo room would be great, but the alternative was awful. It was already bad enough sharing with one person.
“That sounds like a terr—“ the other three looked in Mike’s direction. “You know what never mind. Count me in.”
“I could bring back girls without worrying if Peter was in there. I’m in too!” Davy agreed.
“I’m looking forward to all the space I’ll have for projects,” Micky said thoughtfully, cracking his knuckles.
“I like sharing rooms though,” Peter countered. “I don’t like to be in the dark alone.”
Micky put his arm around Peter. “Think of it this way, sport, you can have all that space for um…I honestly don’t know what you do.”
“Can I eat all the cotton candy I want in there?”
“Sure, I guess,” Micky answered.
“Then I approve!”
“Let’s shake on it,” Micky said.
All four Monkees crisscrossed their arms to shake hands while becoming a tangled mess in the process.
“Let the games begin.”