Work Text:
He doesn't get nightmares as much as he used to. But when he does, Genji is still unprotected from its aftermath. As it is the case tonight. It happens more frequently after coming back from missions. Even if now he took on any missions without pressure or hatred, it still took a toll on him.
So, he decides to walk around the Watchpoint. Running around always clears his head somehow.
Somewhere atop the cliffs, almost hidden in the dark, he finds McCree.
"Genji! You're back! C'mhere, sit down and let's have a little drink," McCree calls to him as he sees him wandering around.
Genji turns to him and freezes. "I'm tired," he bluntly says. He’s not sure if he’s in the mood to see anyone right now. After all the years of healing, he’s still afraid of this… monster lingering in him. The one that was so quick to lash out at everybody.
"Awake enough to linger around here. Now c'mon." He pats the floor beside him. "You know, you should let loose for a little bit if something's bothering you. It's okay. Except if you can't digest this stuff. Then maybe you shouldn't."
A small chuckle leaves Genji at that. McCree, trying to be funny as usual, trying to lighten the mood as usual and McCree winning over his dark thoughts as usual. He walks up to him to where he sits on the cliffs. "My digestive system is made of metal tubes. I can ingest anything."
"Fair enough," McCree laughs and gives him a bottle. Genji examines it for a moment before unclasping his mask to take a sip of the beverage. In the darkness he doesn't care about showing his face as much. It’s not like daytime, where everyone can see him.
"You know, I still don't know why I am here. Or if being here at all is the right thing," McCree starts.
Genji hums in agreement.
"Why did you choose to come here?"
Genji thinks for some time, his mind slowed down by sleep and now even more by the alcohol.
"To... to make up for my earlier mistakes at Overwatch. My family..." a sigh leaves him before he continues, "...and for Zenyatta, because he wanted to do good here."
The two drink once again and he continues. "I am glad he's here with me. He's the one who listened to me, who believed in me long after everyone else had given up on me."
"You two really seem to make a good match," McCree says.
Genji blushes a little at that statement, luckily not visible in the dark of the night. "I guess. Right now, I wish we could do more together though."
"Why didn't you just visit him then? I'm sure he'd be glad to see you too."
Genji plays with the bottle McCree already emptied before he came by. He looks at his barely visible reflection as if it would tell him why he's acting so weird towards Zenyatta. Usually if he had a problem, he would immediately run to him and talk everything through. But not lately.
"I hesitated. I don't know why. But the last times I've seen him, I've only felt worse after I left him again."
"What did you feel?" McCree asks, curious. The two had some deeper talks during their time at Blackwatch but not like this. Genji had always been a smart one and now he also seems to be way more in tune with his emotions. But can he identify what McCree thinks is going on or is that small stubborn and oblivious part of him still left?
Genji lets out a long sigh and takes his head in his hands. Minutes go by without anyone saying anything further, and McCree fears he might have asked something too private. It's just too interesting, to know if his suspicions have been correct.
He nudges Genji's shoulder, making him turn to his side.
"You know, if you don't wanna talk about it, that's fine. But you can trust me. I'm not gonna go around tellin' it anyone. Y'know that. Just let it aall out."
Genji nods and downs the rest of his bottle in silence while McCree watches his movements. He tries to collect himself as best as he can, given his current status and sits up straight.
"I felt this... ache in my chest. It started slowly over the last few months when I was with him, but once I'd gone on my first missions without him, I felt it more and more. Before, I could keep my cool even when we were apart but the last few times I was out and he sent me pictures of here I desperately wanted to return. Like so madly it turned me upside down. I don't understand. He's safe here after all, I have nothing to fear."
"Hm." Dude, it's obvious. You've got a big crush on him, he thinks. Probably shouldn't say that directly out loud, though. That would make this situation a lot more difficult to handle.
Genji taps the floor in search for something. "I need another bottle," he says impatiently.
Before McCree can say or do anything, he's already found the crate and opened another bottle.
"Careful with that stuff, partner. It hits harder than you think. Don't wanna get into trouble because I got your wires all fired."
"Don't worry, I'll be fine."
"Well... you still wanna talk?"
"Yeah."
―
"I guess it's time I finally disappoint him as well," Genji says at last. They've been talking about a lot of things over the past hour. How both have changed since Blackwatch, some stories about their time after that, how they've felt about the Recall. McCree mostly just sat there listening to Genji's rambling, his concern growing. He didn't know Genji's feelings towards Zenyatta had grown into something like this and he still has no idea what is going on. Still, the cowboy didn't openly spoke up about it. He knew better than to confront Genji like that. If he had to name one thing about Genji that hadn't changed at all, it was his inability to deal with a situation in which he was suddenly confronted with his own feelings. This statement is proof of it - he sounds like his former pessimistic being.
McCree doesn't know how to respond to the sudden appearance of this Genji. For lack of something better to say, he settles for a well-meant "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Genji answers. "I should go." With sluggish movements, he slowly gets up. His feet are a bit wobbly and everything feels like it's spinning up and down, but he manages to get to the floor leading to his room.
Where he meets Zenyatta.
"Genji! I was just looking for you. Did your last mission go well? How are you feeling?" The omnic runs, or rather hovers, to him.
He yawns, pretending to be very tired and shakes his head. "Too tired to talk."
"Oh, I see. Shall I help you?" Zenyatta extends his hand out for him.
Every part of his being screams no but what comes out of him is "Yes."
He wants to feel the firm but careful grip of Zenyatta's hands around him, carrying him to safety like he did so many times before. He wants to hear his voice, telling him about everything he saw that day. Even a story about the smallest mice he saw, he could retell it with wonder and amazement in his voice. He wants his presence, calming and reassuring.
He wants it like it was before. But it can't be. Not anymore. Something has changed. In him. Around him.
But right now, he wants to forget about all that. He wants to be with him like it always were. He clings onto Zenyatta's arm and utters something that resembles his name.
"Yes, Genji, let's get you to bed." He puts one arm around him for support.
―
Zenyatta lays Genji carefully down on his bed and rests beside him for some time, waiting for him to fall asleep. Which doesn't happen. Instead, Genji just rolls restlessly around on his sheets, mumbling unintelligible things.
"Heey... Zen...." He looks in the omnics direction, grinning at him and Zenyatta immediately knows he's up to something.
"Hm?"
"Y'know what? You are kinda... cute! With your, um, blinking lights and stuff," Genji says and giggles in that cute way which makes Zenyatta's fans speed up.
He coughs into his fist, something he has taken to when he gets embarrassed. Which doesn't happen often. It mainly happens in situations involving Genji.
"Well, thank you, my dear, but you need to sleep."
"Don't wanna sleep," Genji answers, "I wanna cuddle with you." He takes Zenyatta's arm and clings tightly to it, almost falling off the bed in the process.
Zenyatta chuckles at his clumsiness. "Uh huh. And a few minutes ago you were 'too tired' to even speak." He tries to calm Genji down by letting his orbs play their meditation tune. Their glow fascinates him in an unusual way and he laughs about them for a long time, holding them in his hands and admiring them. Meanwhile, Zenyatta has put the bed sheets over him. Just as it looks like he has finally calmed down, Zenyatta's efforts go to waste. Genji kicks the sheets off him and wails unhappily.
"Are you leaving me, Zenny?"
The omnic walks over to his bedside again. "No. I'm right by your side, Genji."
He almost feels bad for indulging in his drunk friend. He should probably be strict and urge Genji to sleep, to let him rest in peace. But his curious side wants their interaction to go further. And his protective side doesn't want to leave him alone like this. It would feel so... impolite. So he just dearly hopes his student will forget about the loud whirring of his fans and the awkward answers to come.
"Zenn... please..." Genji quietly mumbles into the pillows, his eyes half closed. He opens his arms as if he were about to hug an imaginary version of him. "C'mhere."
"And why should I do that?"
"Mm... 'cause I'm gonna be lonely without you..."
Zenyatta is ruined. Is Genji playing with him? Is this all a hoax and he just wants to lure him into giving away the feelings he secretly harbors for him? Or is it the opposite - is Genji the one who accidently opens up more than he wants to? He doesn't know.
Genji is more in harmony with his feelings, yes, but that doesn't mean he is more open about them. He shares a lot, but lately Zenyatta has been thinking that there's more to what Genji is telling him. Maybe this is it? Maybe it's okay to hold up this illusion for juust a little longer? he thinks. And so he does.
"You're being silly, Genji," Zenyatta laughs and lays down beside him.
"Nah, I think not." Genji puts his head on the omnics chest and hums happily.
"Good night, Genji," Zenyatta whispers and strokes his head. He desperately wants more, to tell him about all the weeks he spent longing for his closeness. How much he missed him during those weeks they were parted from each other because they were both busy working. How much Genji's absence burdened him. How his changed behaviour left him thinking it was something he'd done. Something wrong. At last, he's disappointed in me, he had thought.
But before he can think any more, he hears the gentle snoring of Genji, who'd just fallen asleep. He looked more content than ever.
Maybe... I've just been making this all up. Maybe I'm thinking far too much about what my student is thinking. He decides to put himself into rest mode as well. Let's just leave this moment like it is.
― ― ―
Genji wakes from his slumber with the warmth of the morning sun hitting his face. He groans and wipes his eyes as he tries to remember what he did before he went to bed last night. But everything feels like a blur.
When he hears rustling on the other side of the bed, he looks around to see Zenyatta sitting beside him on the bed.
“Good morning, Genji!"
Genji stops for a second, every alarm bell in his mind starting to ring. Just what on earth did I do?!
“W… what happened?” he asks, his tone clearly showing his confusion despite just having woken up.
“Oh, you just got a little bit drunk last night."
Oh no. He still struggles to sort through the pieces of his memory. But one thing he surely knows is that the last few times he got drunk he’d felt numb to everything for some time until he started lashing out at everyone and everything. Oh no, he thinks and starts to panic. Dear god, I hope I didn’t hurt Zenyatta.
He leaps up, worry displayed on every inch of his scarred face. “Did I hurt you?”
“Oh, no. Nothing like that,” the omnic shakes his head. He touches his arm to calm him. “Do not worry. You did nothing wrong.”
Genji kicks the bed sheets of him and now sits directly in front of Zenyatta. He still feels that something had happened, so he asks again. “Then what did I do?”
“Ah… You just said a lot of things.”
Genji furrows his brow in confusion. “Like what?”
“It was nothing of importance, I assure you.” Zenyatta looks down and Genji doesn’t know for sure if Zenyatta’s angry with him or if he’s embarrassed. He just hopes to god it’s the latter. He could deal with embarrassed. Somehow. But he couldn't forgive himself if he turned to his anger filled self before Zenyatta. After all these years of training, he should be better than this.
“Some of the things you’ve said were quite… interesting,” Zenyatta continues. “Flattering, in fact. Which made me wonder…” He fumbles with the digits of his hands in his lap. “If you… feel the same way about me I do about you.”
“Like…” Genji starts and breaks off again, dumbfounded, still not believing what is happening right now. His heart beats faster by the second and he feels lightweight. Is he saying... what I think he's saying?
“Like this,” Zenyatta takes his hands in his and entwines their fingers.
Genji looks at their hands, then looks at the omnics face again. His cheeks feel like they're burning and he's probably looking like a dumb lovestruck teenager, but he doesn't care. Not when Zenyatta just told him that he returns his feelings!
“Yes,” he says. “I do. Feel the same way about you, I mean.” He surges forward and places his lips against the omnics faceplate in a very chaste kiss. "Like this."
"Really?" The usually calm robotic voice has a little shaky undertone to it now.
Genji nods and grins from ear to ear like he just got the greatest present of his life. He takes Zenyatta's hands in his own again, resting them on his lap.
Zenyatta looks down at their hands and sighs happily. “My sparrow. Do you know how absolutely stunning your smile is, and how happy I am everytime I get too see it?"
Genji's blush deepens. "Tell me more?" He requests and lays down on his, or rather now, their bed. Cuddling up to him, the omnic hums, thinking about what to say.
“I am currently sharing a bed with a breathtakingly beautiful cyborg ninja, who just told me that he returns my affections. I am holding him in my arms and he's smiling at me. The cause of that stunning smile is me. What is there more to say?”
Genji snorts and buries his face into the pillows, trying to hide his blush. Everything about this feels so unreal, like a dream, like flowers blooming around his heart. He runs his finger along Zenyatta's faceplate and presses his lips once again to where gold meets silver, continuing to place butterfly kisses everywhere across his faceplate.
"That's what you get for embarrassing me like that," he says afterward.
"Oh, if that's what I get for getting you flustered, then I'll be teasing you all day and night from now on."
"Just wait until I get you flustered."
"Then we've got a deal." Zenyatta hums quietly. “I cannot explain how it came to this, but I do not want to leave the bed anymore."
"Me neither," Genji says, laughing. He closes his eyes, moving closer to the omnic, until their chests are touching. Neither of them has said the words yet, but as Zenyatta puts his arms around him, pulling him flush against him and letting out an affectionate hum, it's okay. Because he knows.
Both know the words have been said long ago. Through actions instead of words.
I love you.