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Jim Gordon leaned against the bar as he surveyed the dance floor. He swirled the amber liquid in his glass before downing the remainder of the drink and signalling to the bartender that he wanted another whiskey. In truth, this was the last place he wanted to be. But, being home wasn’t any better. Everything there reminded him of Sarah. They had almost made it. They had survived the hell that was the No Man’s Land, only to lose at the end. Sarah….
He gulped the new whiskey, ice crashing against his teeth. The whiskey burned all the way down and he was grateful to feel something other than the hole in his heart, even if it was only for a moment. In an effort to distract himself further, he sought out his daughter from among the crowd of celebrants. If he had thought it would be easy to find her, he was proved wrong. The swell of people coming to celebrate not only the new year, but a new Gotham as well, had flooded the dance floor creating an effective barrier between Jim at the bar and wherever Babs had ended up.
They had arrived late, neither father nor daughter feeling entirely in the festive mood. But, she had made plans to meet Dick Grayson here. When Babs had offered to spend the evening with Jim instead, he had insisted that they attend gala as planned. Part of him wanted to find this whole charade a sacrilege, but he couldn’t quite manage the necessary ire. Wasn’t it disrespectful to attend a party when so many were dead? When she was dead.
He shook his head, trying to clear the muzziness clouding his brain. Sarah would have insisted they attend, if for no other reason than the fact that Babs deserved something good to come from the past year.
Of all of them…Babs had never considered leaving. Even he had tried to leave before Gotham had been isolated. He’d tried to get out….It hadn’t worked out for him, but he had considered abandoning his post. But, Babs, she never had. So, if tonight she could celebrate the new year with the man she clearly loved, she deserved it. Deserved her father’s support.
Despite his best efforts, Jim couldn’t locate her. He couldn’t find the bright pop of red hair tucked behind her ears. He didn’t know how she’d managed to look so spectacular after a year of scarcity and rarely leaving her apartment, yet she had managed it with dignity and grace. Instead of Babs, Jim found Bruce Wayne. The big man moved through the crowds with a grace that shouldn’t be possible in a man his size. He moved like a man on a mission, like a man with something on his mind other than ringing in the new year.
Jim tamped down the irritation that burned in his throat like bile. Washing it back with the last of his whiskey, he managed a neutral face as the billionaire playboy paused at the bar beside him. Bruce Wayne had gotten out before the barricades. Took Batman with him. Sure, Bruce had worked to save Gotham. And Batman had returned. But, resentment still ate away at Jim’s gut. He and Sarah had stayed. They fought the good fight since the beginning. They protected the people. And he had been the one to lose. What had Bruce lost? Nothing….
“What are you drinking, Commissioner?” Bruce asked, clearly not for the first time.
As though he could divine the future from the melting ice cubes, Jim stared into the glass. He really oughtn’t drink anymore. “Just finished. I should be going. Though I want to find my daughter first.”
“I saw her a few minutes ago, with Dick.” Bruce turned towards the dance floor and gestured in the direction of large windows that overlooked the city. “Over there.”
Babs angled her wheelchair so she could catch Dick’s reflection in the glass without looking at him directly. Meanwhile, Dick stood at her side with a hand placed on her shoulder. Both of them waited in a companionable, contemplative silence. From this distance, Jim couldn’t tell if it boded well or not for the young couple. He turned to Bruce, to see if the man had any insight into the situation. Bruce had disappeared. Figures.
After she’d separated from her father, it hadn’t taken Babs long to find Dick. When she reached him, she didn’t know what she would say or how the conversation would go. All she knew was that she needed to see him. At that point, she could no longer put off making the decision. Either stay or go. Together or apart.
Dick spied her the same moment she’d found him. Their eyes met and a tentative smile tugged at his lips. Her heart swelled as she returned his smile with a faltering one of her own. Guilt gnawed at the lining of her stomach. She crossed her arms over her middle, as though that could keep all the tears inside. Only, there weren’t any left. Her eyes were red and dry from all the tears already spent. She felt half numb, except for the spark of emotion that flared to life when she saw Dick striding towards her. Was she even allowed to feel happy this soon after their loss? She ought to send Dick on his way, it wasn’t the time.
No. This was why her dad insisted they come to this party. Neither Gordon felt like celebrating, but Dad had stated that Sarah would have wanted them to go. That Babs should keep her date. She wasn’t exactly certain about that logic, but she was certain about one thing. She needed to see Dick. His presence was comforting, reassuring.
Ever the gentleman, Dick bowed over Babs’ hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. He handed her a single red rose. “Would you care for a dance, m’lady?”
She pulled her hand away and turned her face to the side trying to hide the flicker of a smile that reached her eyes. As though, if she denied the facts, they might not be true. “Dick…no…”
“I’m sorry. I know the timing sucks.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. From the way he held himself, she knew that has ribs still ached, especially in the cold.
“You could say that again.” She let out a rough, heavy sigh.
Her fingers brushed the wheels of her chair, inching them back towards escape. With the movement, she felt the encroaching press of the crowded room. She brushed into a chatting couple standing behind her. With a mumbled apology, she jerked forward nearly colliding into Dick. After a year of limited social interactions and rarely being around more than a few people at a time, the sudden presence of so many in a confined space threatened to overwhelm. Her heart raced and her breath tripped in her throat. Shifting her chair to the right, she froze as she faced a wall of people, blocking her escape. It was the same story to her left.
Dick placed a hand on her shoulder, grounding her in the moment. “Babs, what do you need?”
“Space,” she said, forcing the word out with a shaking breath.
He nodded and began making a path through the crowd. She followed in his wake and in a moment, they were at one of the floor to ceiling windows. Babs gazed out into the dark night that stretched between the darker silhouettes of new construction. She breathed deeply, feeling her chest relax. For a moment, she allowed herself to remember what it felt like to leap between buildings. Soon the city would have a new skyline, one whose rooftops she never traipsed along. Somehow that felt fitting.
Taking a deep breath, Babs released the memories and return to the present. Dick’s hand was once again on her shoulder. She focused on the sensation of his rough, calloused palms pressed against the bare skin of her shoulder as his fingers idly played with the narrow strap of her dress. She loved his touch. Every caress, every brush of skin against skin, spoke volumes of how much he cared for her. When he held her, she felt safe.
Relaxing into his touch, she smiled. Her smile gave him permission to smile in response. The genuine grin of delight lit his face like he was the sun. A sun meant just for her.
In their reflections on the glass, their eyes met. She held Dick’s gaze as though she could see into his soul. His blue eyes asked the same questions she had been trying to answer since Sarah’s death.
“Come here.” She tugged his arm, drawing him closer.
He leaned in as she reached up and caressed his jawline. Her fingers lingered, cupping his smooth, freshly shaven cheek. Not so long ago, she had shaved him. He had dragged himself to her door for care and tending, for healing. And, he had trusted her by allowing her to shave his face. She supposed that trust was minuscule compared the trust they displayed every time they watched each other’s back. Still it felt significant. The time they had spent alone in her apartment, had been among her happiest moments since before No Man’s Land had been stablished. Until Pettit and his men—not to mention Huntress—had crashed the party and invaded her fortress.
She swallowed back the grin. It wasn’t right. Her dad recently widowed and she was falling more in love with the man of her dreams. What kind of daughter did that make her?
“What are you thinking?” Dick asked, finally breaking the silence. His grin faltered and suddenly she was plunged back into darkness. Her slowly thawing heart insisted that such a change wouldn’t do. It wouldn’t do at all…
“You missed a spot,” she teased, not certain where it was coming from. Her thumb rubbed circles against this cheek.
“Oh? Where?” His eyes were comically wide and he reached for his face to find the spot she mentioned. Instead he found only her hand. He trapped her hand in his own and drew it to her lips. With a twinkle in his eyes, he asked with mock seriousness, “Is that better?”
She laughed, the sound bubbling out of her. It was a creaky, weak laugh, but a laugh all the same. The sound was strange to her ears after all this time. When was the last time she’d laughed?
The laughter was contagious, Dick started to laugh along with her. It hadn’t been funny, not really, but after all this time, the release of emotions was like lifting a weight from their shoulders.
When she caught his eyes, a new round of giggles escaped her lips, this time sounding more natural. And, when he thought he’d finally gained control of himself, a glance in her direction sent him into another fit of laughter. They laughed until they doubled over, holding the stitches in their sides. They gasped for breath. Babs wiped tears from her eyes. The first tears in ages that hadn’t originated in pain.
“It wasn’t that funny,” Dick wheezed.
“I know.” Babs squeezed his hand. Her eyes sparkled. “It’s almost midnight.”
“Shall we ring in the new year together?”
“Yes.” She held her breath, holding back a last fit of giggles. “But, not here.”
“Then where?” With his free hand, Dick brushed the stray locks of hair framing her face back behind her ears.
With one last look out the window, Babs gestured their clasped hands up towards the ceiling. “How about the roof?”
Jim watched from a distance as Babs and Dick talked. He was too far away to hear their words, but he could read their body language. They were both stiff, awkward, wanting what they felt they should not desire. After a year of death and deprivation and darkness, they didn’t dare allow themselves what little hope was offered.
And then, it changed. Babs reached for Dick. He gave a little. The tension melted. And Barbara started to laugh. It was good to see her laugh.
She had held their world together for over a year. Since the earthquake that had destroyed Gotham, she had taken charge. He was so proud of his daughter. She’d endured so much and came out stronger. It was time the universe gave something back to her. She deserved her reward.
Jim turned his back on the kids allowing them a measure of privacy. This was their moment and he wouldn’t intrude. He felt certain they would greet the new year with hope and love. Knowing that his daughter would be fine, Jim took his leave. Midnight was almost upon them and he had someone of his own he needed to visit.
In the end, they hadn’t made it all the way to the roof. The tiered building had an observation deck near enough the top of the building to suit their purpose. Despite the deck not yet being open to the public, it didn’t stop Dick from picking the lock and granting them a private viewing.
Babs shivered. She chaffed at her bare arms as the winter winds whipped around the corner of the building. Breathing in the frigid air, Babs’ head felt clearer. Before she could reach for his hand and pull him close, Dick draped his suit jacket over her shoulders.
She slipped her arms into the sleeves. The jacket was still warm with his body heat. The fabric smelled faintly of the subtle cologne Dick wore whenever he attended these events. She wasn’t certain if she wanted to laugh or cry. It was such a small normal thing that seemed to belie the struggle of the past year, while her own efforts only seemed to emphasise the struggle. Though she hadn’t worn perfume to this event, her skin carried the lingering scent of lavender soap. She’d used her last sliver of the purple soap as she’d gotten ready for the evening. For the past year she’d hoarded that particular bar of soap, using it only when the days were at their worse and she needed a reminder of what it meant to be human. With the new day, Gotham would no longer be closed off from the rest of the world and such luxuries as lavender soap would once again be common place.
Dick sat beside her with his arm wrapped around her shoulders. They sat in silence surveying their city. Gotham was battered and broken, but she would rise again from the ashes—just like always. From their vantage point, Babs could place a year’s worth of battlegrounds and refuges. With the city laid like a map before them, she could trace where each faction fought for their right to exist and all the territory gained and lost. In minutes, all their struggles would no longer matter. No Man’s Land would fade from memory and Gotham would be Gotham again.
As much as she wanted the majority of this past year to fade to the annals of time, there were a few things she wasn’t ready to let go. There were a few loose ends she still needed to tie up.
She leaned her head against Dick’s chest. “Do you remember when you were staying at my place?”
He laughed and tightened his hold around her, drawing her closer. “While I was recuperating? Of course, it’d be a little hard to forget.”
“I told you I needed time…” As she spoke, she felt his heartbeat increase where her cheek pressed against his chest.
“You also said you still had a thing for me,” he whispered into her hair. “And, there was that kiss….”
“I’ve been thinking a lot…between all those bouts of trying to not think at all…” She drifted to silence, struggling with the weight of her thoughts and trying to keep the pain at bay. She needed to do this now.
Shifting his position so he crouched in front of her, Dick held both her hands. His hands trembled. “What have you thinking about?”
“Dad and Sarah…He’s lost without her. Heartbroken is to put it mildly. There was never enough time for the two of them.” She shook her head, red hair falling in her face and obscuring her view of Dick. “Well, it’s just that, of all the things I told you back at my apartment, I don’t want one of them to be true anymore.”
His breath caught in his throat. When he could finally speak, his voice was a hoarse whisper. “Which one?”
“I’ll alway love you, Dick. There is never any doubt about that.” She met his gaze, holding it steady. He brushed her hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering against her skin and entangling in her wind blown tresses. His hand cupped the back of her head at the nape of her neck.
She smiled, still sad, but tinged with a hope for the future. “I don’t want to waste anymore time. In our lives, there will never be a perfect moment to start a relationship. If we keep waiting…we could miss the opportunity before we ever had a chance to begin.” She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. When she open her eyes, they were clear and when she began to speak again her voice was steady, filled with conviction. “Whatever the future holds for good or for ill, I want to spend it with you.”
“And I want to spend the future with you too. I love you, Babs. Always.” Dick leaned in and kissed her with the hunger of a desire long denied. She returned the kiss with equal passion. Everything else that existed, except for the two of them in that moment of time, disappeared.
The bells across Gotham tolled twelve, calling out the midnight hour in reverbing, doleful peels. They greeted a new day and a new year. The chimes of midnight were the herald of a new Gotham. It was a new beginning and a new hope for a new future.
As the echo of the bells fell silent and the new year began in earnest, it was a fresh start not only for their city, but for Richard Grayson and Barbara Gordon as well.
A happy new year indeed.