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The first time Nazuna kissed Chiaki wasn’t planned. They were just sitting in Nazuna’s room, barely listening to the radio, and talking about how it would be nice if Ra✽bits and Ryuseitai were able to perform together, though neither made any concrete plans. He’d never even thought about kissing Chiaki before that day, but once the idea was in his head he couldn’t ignore it.
“Nito? Are you alright?”
If he was going to be completely honest, he wasn’t. Why on earth was he wanting to kiss his friend so suddenly? Sure, Chiaki was incredibly handsome and a great person who reminded Nazuna of all the princes and childhood friends from the (probably too many) romance mangas he'd read, but… the thought of kissing Chiaki, of crossing this line, or any line, was completely new. “Chiaki-chin… your lips are really pretty.” Was what Nazuna would have said if he hadn’t been so nervous that he sounded like he wasn’t even speaking Japanese (or any actual human language for that matter).
Chiaki pouted, a very cute pout that only made Nazuna want to kiss him more. “I’m going to take that as a no. Well, do whatever you need to do-”
Nazuna took this as the invitation he needed, and pressed his lips against Chiaki’s. It was a quick kiss, really just to get it out of his system, but it also allowed him to figure out that Chiaki’s lips were very soft and tasted a bit like strawberry candy.
Chiaki, meanwhile, was in a daze. “So does this mean… you like me?”
“I don’t know, I just felt like I had to do that, and I don’t know why, and I’m sorry.”
Chiaki nodded, probably trying to take in everything that had just happened. “I hope you figure it out soon.”
This had to be a new low for Nazuna. First, he impulsively kissed Chiaki and possibly ruined their entire friendship, and now not even an hour later, he was trying to have a conversation with his pet rabbit, Serenity. But he had to get his thoughts out to something, and she'd been his companion during some of the darkest times in his life, so it felt natural to turn to her. Even though he was fully aware of how ridiculous it would look if anyone saw.
“I just don’t know what happened. One minute everything was normal, and the next…”
Serenity just stared at him, which he probably should have expected.
“And he’s super nice and super handsome, but I don’t know if I can actually be with him. I don’t know if I can be with anyone. I’m sure you remember how things were with Itsuki, right?”
Would she have? There were so many days during that time where he was just so tired that he couldn't bring himself to talk to anyone (or anything), and even though he'd never admit it out loud, there were a few times when she was the main thing that kept him going.
“I just don’t know if I can open myself up again… I mean I know he's not like Itsuki, but I don't want to get hurt again, you know? But I don't want to hurt him either, and I really like being friends with him! What the hell am I supposed to do?”
Things continued to get even more stressful. Nazuna couldn’t quite wrap his head around the sudden shift in his feelings, and had no idea how to handle any of this. And it didn’t help that everyone could tell something was wrong. It took about a week for anyone to confront him about it, however.
Makoto looked nervous about bringing it up. “Nito-senpai, you haven’t been acting like yourself lately… is something wrong?”
“Mako-chin. If you, hypothetically, kissed one of your friends, but you weren’t really sure you wanted to date them… what would you do?”
Makoto and Shinobu both stared at Nazuna, stunned by what he was admitting to. Eventually Shinobu found his voice again. “Why would you do that, Nito-dono?”
“I didn’t! But… in this completely hypothetical situation, you just couldn’t stop thinking about kissing them until you actually did it. And you’re really confused because that was the first time you ever thought about them in that kind of way.”
Makoto nodded, obviously not believing that it was a hypothetical question. “Well, if I did that, the first thing I’d do is apologize. Then, I’d try and figure out if I actually liked them, or if I just wanted to kiss someone in general.”
Nazuna couldn’t believe how simple Matoko made it seem. He could do this, surely it couldn’t be that difficult to figure out his feelings… right?
“Nito!”
Nazuna froze, recognizing the voice calling to him. It was Shu, the absolute last person he wanted to talk to right now, especially if it was about what had happened with Chiaki (and, given how easily the news could have spread to Shu, it probably was). When he turned around he tried his best to look intimidating, hoping that strategy could end the conversation sooner. “What do you want, Itsuki?”
“I heard a rumor that you've fallen in love.”
Possibly, possibly not. Nazuna still hadn’t figured that out- and even if he did like Chiaki, he wasn't sure if such strong language was really necessary. “You never seemed like the type to pay attention to rumors.”
“I’m usually not, but several of your classmates told me you’ve been acting strangely. If it’s true, I’m happy for you-”
“Itsuki. Don’t lie to me.” Nazuna mostly said that because he didn't have the slightest clue if Shu was being honest or not. He had just as much reason to believe that as he did to think that his ex-boyfriend thought that hiding what he truly felt was some sort of kindness.
Shu froze, his face going completely blank. In the two years they were together and in the time since, Nazuna had only seen him like this once- during their final live together. Almost as quickly he regained his composure and started using his doll to talk, a habit that Nazuna still wasn't quite sure how to react to. "Ah, Shu-kun… well, to be completely honest, he's not thrilled to hear about you moving on. But he won't get between you and your copain. It's the least he can do, all things considered."
All things considered.
That simple phrase haunted Nazuna for the rest of the day. He was grateful Shu wouldn’t even try to interfere if he dated Chiaki, he truly was, but it brought all the memories of every time Shu had done exactly that flooding back, all at once. By the end of the day, all he could bring himself to do was to sit under a tree, with his knees against his chest and his forehead laying on top of them, trying to wait until it passed.
Unfortunately, the universe just wouldn’t allow him to be alone. “Nito! Ni~to!”
Nazuna lifted his head and saw Chiaki waving at him. He tried to respond, but he just couldn’t get the words to leave his mouth, like something had taken his vocal chords.
Chiaki looked confused and came over to Nazuna. “Something wrong?”
Nazuna just nodded, hating that he couldn’t talk. He felt himself starting to tear up, and didn’t bother holding back.
Chiaki seemed to have caught on to what was happening and grabbed a notebook out of his bag. It was bright red, similar to Chiaki’s Ryuseitai uniform, and most of the writing in it was in gold glittery ink, in what looked like Shinobu’s handwriting. Then Chiaki grabbed several colorful pens and held them out to Nazuna. “Go on, pick one.”
Nazuna picked a light blue pen, and the notebook after Chiaki held that out. Then he wrote just one word: Itsuki.
“Itsuki… what did he do?”
Nazuna wrote again, moving to the next line. We just talked. He said that if I wanted to date someone, he wouldn’t interfere.
“Isn’t that a good thing, though?”
Yes, but… it brought up a lot of memories.
Chiaki put his arm around Nazuna’s shoulders, trying to be comforting. “Do you want me to stay here?”
Nazuna nodded, not wanting to be alone. They sat there for a while, possibly hours before Nazuna was able to talk again. “...Our parents are going to kill us.”
Chiaki sighed, realizing Nazuna was right. “I’m sure yours will understand, at least. Do you want me to walk you home?”
Nazuna and Chiaki’s houses weren’t in the same direction, but Nazuna was sure Chiaki knew that. “I’ll be fine, but thank you, Chiaki-chin. I’ll text you when I get home.”
The whole way home Nazuna couldn't stop thinking about Chiaki's offer. He'd always known how serious Chiaki was about being a hero, but that was his first time he'd been the one who needed saving. It was… nice, honestly. Not the situation that put him into that position in the first place, but knowing that, even after what he'd done, Chiaki still had his back. That no matter what either of them wanted their relationship to be, it was still something amazing and beautiful and worth fighting for.
And then he realized something that he should have known far sooner: this was love. Not the awkward and inexperienced love at first sight that leaves everyone who was even remotely involved hurting for far too long when it ends far after it should have run its course, no this was nothing like what he'd had with Shu. This was something born out of friendship and respect, out of how much they both cared for each other and how, even though Chiaki always tried to be everyone's hero, he acknowledged that Nazuna wasn't a perfect fragile doll, but a person who was usually capable of holding his own against whatever life threw at him.
Usually. He wasn't too sure how he'd fare with this confession- after all, he'd only been in one relationship before, and he'd been the one who was confessed to- but the peace from finally knowing what he felt and wanted outweighed the dread from wondering how he'd tell Chiaki, so he decided to count this as a victory.
What started out as a simple text to let Chiaki know that he’d gotten home safely turned into Nazuna being on a phone call for hours. But he didn’t really mind, he was just so happy that he could talk again, and he could use the company while he studied.
“So, Nito… can we maybe backtrack a bit? To the last time I was over there?”
Nazuna had been dreading the kiss coming back up ever since it happened, but he knew he had to talk about it eventually. “Uh, sure, I guess.”
“I was thinking maybe we could do the live in the park. It’d be kind of hard to set up the sound system, but I was talking to Hibiki and he said he thinks he can figure it out.”
Nazuna felt an instant wave of relief. “Yeah, that sounds nice.” He turned to the back of his math notebook and wrote down Get Wataru-chin’s number from Tomo-chin. “Maybe after we figure out a good spot, we can have a picnic?”
“Good idea, I’m sure everyone would love that!”
Nazuna couldn’t help but be a bit disappointed that Chiaki was turning this into an event for nine (or maybe even ten if Wataru insisted on coming) people, and as little as he wanted to admit it to anyone but himself, he knew exactly why. “I’m sure they would. Hey, Chiaki-chin...”
“Yes, Nito?”
He wasn’t sure why, but Nazuna couldn’t bring himself to say what he wanted to over the phone. They had to have this discussion in person. “Do you think you can come over tomorrow? You know, to plan out the live and all.”
“Of course!”
Nazuna was nervous, but happy. He was finally going to resolve this incredibly messy situation, and hopefully everything worked out like he wanted it to.
Nazuna and Chiaki were sitting on Nazuna’s bed by the time Chiaki figured out Nazuna’s true intentions. “You didn’t want to talk about the live, right?”
“No, not… immediately, although we can definitely work on planning it later. I’m sorry, Chiaki-chin, it’s just. This was something I needed to talk to you about in person. I’m sure you remember what happened the last time you were here?”
“It’s not exactly easy to forget that kind of thing.”
“And again, I’m sorry. Really, really, really sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. But I figured out some things since then, and I do like you! And if you’ll forgive me for everything-”
Nazuna’s sentence was quickly interrupted by Chiaki’s soft, strawberry lips being pressed against his own and Chiaki’s arms around his waist. And of course, Nazuna kissed back, savoring this moment as long as he could.
After they had finished, they just sat there, staring at each other. Nazuna could feel his cheeks going red, but it was really the least of his concern at the moment. “So, we’re dating now, right?”
“I mean, considering I had a crush on you even before the first kiss, I’d say so.”
Normally Nazuna would question why Chiaki didn’t say anything, and he was sure he’d eventually get that answer, but for now he decided to focus on just being happy and looking forward to more strawberry kisses, hopefully for years to come.