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English
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Part 7 of tumblr ficlet prompts
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Published:
2019-07-13
Words:
397
Chapters:
1/1
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11
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127
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1,490

“Please put your penis away.”

Summary:

Phil’s been on a losing streak, he’s feeling riled, his “yee” is tense but not so tense that they need to stop playing; Dan thinks it’s very likely that he’ll win.
A ficlet about cockiness(👀) and distraction tactics.

Notes:

Dialogue Prompt: "Please put your penis away."

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

They make a simple enough bet— first one to die in this next round Fortnite has to answer the door for their pizza order. Usually they’d delegate this to rock, paper, scissors. But, well, they’ve already been playing duos anyways. Phil’s been on a losing streak, he’s feeling riled, his “yee” is tense but not so tense that they need to stop playing; Dan thinks it’s very likely that he’ll win.

Then, as the game loads, Phil does something with a shocking level of nonchalance: he kicks his pants off. The only clothes he’d had on before aside from his corgi odd socks with the excuse that June is too hot for anything else. Which, sure, Dan’s not going to argue. But it still stuns him for a moment. Phil does a little jump like he’s shaking the nerves out. Then he sits back down on the sofa.

“Phil…” Dan says once he regains the ability to speak, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You really think after ten years that the sight of your flaccid dick next to me is gonna be enough to distract me into losing the game?”

“Of course not,” Phil says, “Give me some credit. This is so I don’t get distracted. I was too restrained before. I need to be in the zone. I gotta get my flow.”

“Uh huh...”

“Not everything penis-related is about you, Danny,” Phil laughs. He holds the controller up, ready to win if the smirk on his face is anything to go by.

He doesn’t make it to the final thirty.

Dan dies in nineteenth place. It’s pretty darn impressive considering the moment Phil lost was the moment he threw the controller away in frustration, leaned back against the sofa and threw his arms over his head. Phil’s long pale body taking up all of Dan’s peripheral required actual effort to keep his head focused on the screen. He’s saved the trouble of saying something admonishing despite how good his boyfriend looks because it’s then that they hear the buzz for dinner arriving.

“Please put your penis away before answering the door,” Dan says. He has to dodge the controller that Phil throws at him. Thankfully, at least, by the time Phil comes back up the steps with pizza in his hands, he is wearing his old Star Wars pyjama pants scrunched up around his knees.

Notes:

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