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It wasn't a secret that Ratchet's bedside manner was, to put it lightly, terrible. He was blunt and harsh and most injuries that got categorized under 'stupid' usually got you a rather hard bop on the helm with one of Ratchet's infamous twin wrenches (which may or may not have also collided with Megatron's face on a few occasions, making them legendary weapons in the eyes of newer additions to the Autobot ranks; the warlord's nose was permanently crooked for a reason).
It also wasn't a secret that he behaved this way because he cared a great deal for every soul that passed through his medbay. He was hard on his fellow Autobots because he wanted them to be more careful, didn't want to see them hurt. It wasn't about workload, or supplies, because at the end of the day Ratchet would work until all his joints had frozen and he'd started using parts of his own frame to save someone's life.
Some people had come to terms with this fact rather easily, others...not so much. Sideswipe in particular had a hard time grasping it, likely because Ratchet's opinion of him was more important than he would care to admit; and Sunstreaker would never say it, but it bothered him too. And neither of them could quite grasp how being constantly berated and bonked on the head was a sign of affection. It took talking to some of the older bots, who'd known Ratchet longer, and to see what Ratchet was like when he was actually angry, for it to sink in. And then their amount of helm dents became a bizarre matter of pride.
And, with the soldiers being as bored as they tended to be when there wasn't much to do, it became a bit of a regular and heated discussion to try and figure out who Ratchet cared about more, based on how harsh he was when they got injured, and how often. It was in the name of fun and entertainment, no one really dared to try and claim that Ratchet loved them more because he was harder on them, but it was funny to think about and it passed the time. Almost everyone had said their piece, shared their numerous and ridiculous encounters with the Doctor's fretful ire, placing them somewhere on the scale of loved to tolerated.
Even Prime had made his case at this point, seeming to tolerate the banter with an air of fond and aged amusement, having known Ratchet perhaps the longest of anyone. But someone's input was still missing and it took Jazz pointing it out for everyone to truly notice.
"The only mech yah haven't asked is the one that spends the most time with Ratch' outta all of us."
And of course, it certainly wasn't a secret that Wheeljack and Ratchet were also long time friends, and that they of course often shared a workspace and aided each other in their respective projects when they could. But this shed very new, very intriguing light on their relationship, because everyone realized that they'd never seen Wheeljack without Ratchet.
Everyone had so resolutely avoided discussing this weird little contest in Ratchet's presence that they couldn't ask Wheeljack. The scientist never seemed to leave the lab, and when he did he was always with Ratchet.
And then everyone's interest immediately shifted onto the curiosity that was their obviously more intimate relationship. Any chance people could get they were subtly probing for information from anyone who might know, or who certainly did seem to know.
Jazz, of course, ever loving the rumor mill, was the first to be approached, since he'd instigated this technically, but he surprisingly declined rather quickly and couldn't be persuaded to say anything on the matter.
"Sorry mechs, but 'ah appreciate bein on Ratch's good side too much; plus, it just ain't cool."
Which was funny, coming from the mech who'd not too long ago absolutely outed Mirage and Cliffjumper's little affair, although no one had been particularly surprised by that "revelation".
Prowl was obviously also a good option, seeing as he too, seemed to be close with Ratchet, but for obvious reasons no one was going to approach Prowl.
Next on the list would of course be Perceptor and Optimus, but Optimus' moral code apparently disallowed him to share such information, as it would be a deep betrayal to his friend; and Perceptor seemed to become rather flustered by the line of questioning and not so subtly panicked and excused himself and promptly hid in Skyfire's massive shadow (who's own face looked a bit warm and knowing, but he also resolutely said nothing on the matter).
There were other options beyond that, such as Ironhide, Bluestreak and Smokescreen, even Sunny and Sides who didn't quite seem to know everything, but seemed to know enough to keep their mouths shut at the very least, which was new. But any other options once more either proved to be fruitless, or too dangerous to attempt. One particular fool had suggested just asking directly, and that idea had, of course, been shot down immediately.
And that was how two particularly foolhardy minibots found themselves snooping around late into the evening, trying their best to not be spotted or heard as they made their way to the labs/medbay. They managed to get in through vent access and immediately stilled when they heard voices.
Very distinct and recognizable voices, speaking in oddly gentle tones.
"Everyone has been acting excessively odd lately, it's unnerving, and Optimus knows something and he's not telling me and it's...infuriating. He only ever does that when he feels it's for the best; slag for the best though, I hate feeling like I'm out of the loop."
That was Ratchet, not so much ranting as he was grumbling, and a soft sleepy hum was the response, before the second voice rose; a smooth easy drawl that always set people at ease and made them feel welcome.
"Miss the good old days, eh? Party Ambulance?" Wheeljack teased and snickered, soft, sleepy, but above all affectionate.
Ratchet harrumphed rather impressively but didn't verbally retaliate in any other manner. And it was then that the unfortunate pair decided to peek out from their hiding spot...
And found that the CMO and the infamous Autobot scientist were currently cuddling. Not just cuddling, oh no, Ratchet was leaned as far back as his chair would allow, with Wheeljack curled snuggly in his lap, helm pillowed on his wide windshield and bumper. And while Ratchet idly continued to work with one hand, reading and signing off on and organizing files, the other drew lazy trails up and down Wheeljack's back, occasionally straying to toy with one of the speedster's sensory panels, which were small and thin, but clearly no less sensitive than any other pair. With the way his engine began to purr and he shifted in Ratchet's lap, it was very clear to the two intruders that now was probably their cue to leave.
But what they didn't count on was being in Ratchet's line of sight when he lent in to kiss his lover; with the way his optics flashed with barely concealed rage Wheeljack must've been very suddenly engulfed in a very prickly field because he literally jumped out of Ratchet's lap and whipped around. He was clearly prepared to be facing an enemy...not two petrified bots suddenly dearly wishing to rethink all their life choices that lead them to this moment. He deflated with relief immediately and then Ratchet rose from his seat and Wheeljack remembered there was a seething mountain of angry medic behind him. His finials flashed in alarm and he quickly turned and distracted Ratchet long enough that the pair managed to escape. Angry shouting the only thing following their retreating forms.
They thanked Wheeljack, subtly, later when they were given their punishment, which was not nearly as terrifying as the 'weld them to chairs' option that Ratchet had suggested, which was apparently something he actually had done in the past. Wheeljack was not nearly as bothered by their intrusion as Ratchet was, and easily managed to curb the medic's anger and readily forgave them for what was really just innocent curiosity. And, because their punishment involved helping the pair, they got to hear Wheeljack tell stories about his younger years with Ratchet, who apparently, had gotten into far worse high-jinks than accidentally intruding on two high ranking officers' snuggle time.
They learned that Ratchet was way cooler than anyone could have ever guessed; that he was an amazing dancer (better than Jazz in some regards), an incredible warrior, a party animal, knew more engex mixes by spark than Swerve...
And that he and Wheeljack had been Conjunx since before the war, and that Ratchet simply didn't enjoy PDA and saw no reason to declare their relationship to every mech he came across.
That was changed readily once it became apparent that that was why everyone had been behaving so strangely, and why a rather tender and private moment had been ruined. And not only was information spread quickly, it was obvious to anyone with functioning optics, when Wheeljack could get Ratchet to take a break, that the two were still as stupidly in love as the day they first met...
Wheeljack also gleefully informed everyone he gets hit on the head at least once an hour.