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To hear knocking on Sawamura Daichi’s apartment door was nothing out of the ordinary, in fact, it was very common. He was the nice neighbour. The one who always gave his neighbours whatever they needed, sugar, teabags, entry to their apartment. He selflessly gave it all if he had it.
But there was always, always, one knock in particular that he looked forward to. Three taps, a louder knock, a pause, and then another loud knock.
This was Sugawara Koushi’s knock.
It happened on almost a weekly basis. A knock followed by a warm greeting of hey, Daichi! and then a sheepish may I?
A comfortable routine that’d befell the pair of neighbours for the last six years, like a clockwork, weekly ritual that had no end in sight. It was endearing. He was endearing.
As always, may I? was followed by a huff of annoyance – fake if Daichi knew the man well enough – undoubtedly at his own forgetful actions.
Daichi would move aside and allow Sugawara entry into his apartment, no questions asked. After all, he knew why he was here.
He’d locked himself out again.
Daichi often wondered how Sugawara always managed to lose his keys so much, how he was able to leave his keys inside and get locked out so much was beyond Daichi.
Sugawara would make his way down the hallway and into Daichi’s bedroom, he’d open the window wide and begin his climb. His legs would dangle limply until he could touch the awning below.
Daichi never knew how Sugawara made it across the gap to his apartment next door, the awning stopped three feet short of Sugawara’s window. But that didn’t deter the slightly smaller man, and by the time Daichi had closed the front door, crossed the distance between himself and Sugawara, and peered out the window, he’d catch the sight of Sugawara’s leg disappearing through his own bedroom window.
Sugawara always made it.
Apart from that one time it was raining and Sugawara slipped on the awning and broke his leg. Honestly Daichi couldn’t think of another time after that that Sugawara had lost his keys on a rainy day.
The six weeks Sugawara was out of action taught Daichi two things, the first, Sugawara was needy as fuck and tried on every single bit of Daichi’s patience; the other, he was probably, definitely, in love with the man who tried on every single bit of his patience.
Ah, the knocking again.
Daichi had to do a double take when he heard it.
Sugawara?
No…
But it was. Sugawara’s knock. Just faster; more urgent.
Daichi rushed to his front door and opened it. There stood Sugawara, His hair was unkempt and his clothes were dishevelled, his shirt collar ripped. His face was flushed, with what Daichi didn’t know, but his eyes were glossy. Not good.
“Suga?” A comfortable nickname.
No may I? followed.
A break in their routine.
Instead Daichi was pushed aside and Sugawara stormed in, making his way to Daichi’s bedroom.
“Suga?” Daichi followed him. No reply.
Sugawara carried through the well-practiced motions, as he opened the window wide and let in the sultry summer air. He swung his legs through the open window and jumping down onto the awning.
Just like always, by the time Daichi got to the window Sugawara was already disappearing into his own.
Daichi sighed, leaving his window open just in case. He cranked up the air conditioning to compensate and collapsed backwards onto his bed, feeling the cool sheets beneath him. It really was stiflingly hot. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to sink into the bed.
“Motherfucker!”
Daichi startled, opening his eyes.
Sugawara?
He heard what sounded like glass shatter against the wall.
Daichi blinked once, twice, holding his breath. He listened to more bickering become more heated, unable to understand the words other than the anger and venom in their tones.
He heard heavy footsteps grow softer before they disappeared altogether. The sound of the door slamming shut making him jolt in his position on the bed.
That was enough to fill him with worry and he moved to sit up.
He stood and made his way down the hallway, opening his front door and travelling down the corridor to Sugawara’s front door.
He knocked. No answer.
“Suga?” He knocked again.
He kneeled down, face level with the letter box and he shouted into it, “Suga!”
“I—In here.” A crack in his voice.
Daichi looked up to his apartment door, seeing Sugawara standing there wearing something different to before, a thick black sweater that was completely inappropriate for the weather.
The second thing Daichi noticed was the bruise.
“Suga! Are you okay?”
“Of course,” Sugawara’s voice trembled and he shrunk in on himself, “why wouldn’t I be?”
“I heard glass breaking and a couple large bangs.” Daichi recounted what happened.
Sugawara shook his head and seemed to tense, “I think your ears are playing tricks on you,” he paused, “I mean, I wish I could give you answers but I didn’t hear a thing.” He shrugged, “must’ve been the wind.”
Except the air was stagnant outside, not a breeze for days.
Daichi pursed his lips and nibbled the inside of his cheek.
He didn’t want to intrude, that was the last thing he wanted to do, he didn’t know all the facts, after all. But he wanted to help his friend.
“Yeah,” Daichi said, subdued, “yeah, must’ve been the wind.”
Daichi walked over to his apartment door, Sugawara moved away from where he was standing to allow Daichi inside.
The latter smiled softly, warmly, and he watched as Sugawara’s posture slumped and his arms fell to his side.
“I hate to be cheeky…” Sugawara trailed off, but I don’t want to be alone tonight, “but can I stay the night?” His heart raced in his chest, worried about rejection and acceptance.
Daichi shut the door behind them, leaning on the oak and breathing, “sure, you can always stay here, Suga.”
They walked down the hallway together and into Daichi’s living room, Sugawara sat down and Daichi lingered in the doorway.
“Can I get you a drink?”
“Just a water, please.”
“Just water?”
“Yeah, my stomach feels uneasy…”
Daichi nodded, travelling to the kitchen with bare feet on the cool lino flooring. He turned on the faucet and reached into the cupboard above the sink for a glass. He filled it and made his way back to Sugawara in the living room.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” Daichi passed the water to Sugawara, noting the shake to Sugawara’s hands as he took the glass from Daichi. “Got it?” A nod. “Good.”
Daichi let go and watched Sugawara’s quivering hands hold the glass tightly, taking a tentative sip of the liquid.
Something had definitely happened.
“Wanna watch a movie?”
Sugawara shook his head and placed the glass on the coaster, wiping his upper lip with the back of his hand. “Have you got any jigsaws?”
“Oh, yeah,” Daichi nodded, sinking to his knees to reach under the coffee table. “I have a few big ones.” He pulled out three boxes. “Do you…want to do one?”
Sugawara nodded this time.
Daichi smiled. He cleared his coffee table of the stacks of books and television remotes, “which one?”
Sugawara looked at the three options, a galaxy with five-hundred pieces, that’d be a challenge. A countryside with hedgerows, an old oak tree, and a small ivy covered cottage, also five hundred pieces, all the greenery would definitely keep his mind occupied. And the last jigsaw was of a seaside town, pier like a finger reaching out into the sea and hillside homes buried on rocky outcrops, one-thousand pieces, the number enticed him. Buut…
“That one.” He pointed to the second jigsaw.
“Okay,” Daichi said, packing away the other two jigsaws and he tipped the other box onto the table.
Sugawara reached for the first piece, he sifted through the pieces to find a corner piece.
“I got a corner.”
“Me too.”
“Top.”
“Top too.”
Daichi placed his corner on the clear part of the coffee table and Sugawara did the same, next they began building the jigsaw perimeter. They looked for the blue sky and clouds, tumbling clouds over the zenith of the cottage, and the green hedgerows with what Sugawara could now see were tiny butterflies on the jigsaw pieces.
Sugawara looked at Daichi, maybe he could tell him…
He felt his thoughts drifting back to the events of that night, how he and his boyfriend had returned from meeting his parents for the first time and instantly had an argument after Keigo had insulted his father. The argument had turned into a fight and a furious break up.
Sugawara sighed, feeling Daichi’s eyes on him at the sound, concern in those doe brown eyes.
He turned back to the jigsaw his thoughts becoming distracted as he immersed himself in the jigsaw.
The next time Sugawara looked up it was almost one a.m., and Daichi’s eyes were indisputably drooping.
“Are you tired?”
“No, no, I’m fine.”
Sugawara watched his jaw tense as he bit back a yawn.
“You’re tired.”
Daichi was selfless…
So, so selfless.
Sugawara sighed and ran his fingers through his mussed hair, wincing when his fingertips grazed his forehead.
Had it bruised?
Fuck.
Keigo always did have a strong right hook.
“Suga?”
Sugawara jolted from his thoughts, looking at Daichi and waiting for the question.
“Are you okay?”
There it was.
“Yeah,” he said, looking down, “yeah…”
He could see Daichi’s lips purse and he knew he was holding back.
“Say it.”
“I don’t want to intrude, but I’m worried.” Daichi confessed, “Suga, you’re an amazing person, and it’s clear you’re not okay.”
“I’m fine…”
“That’s why I want you to know you’re safe with me, and you can tell me anything.”
Sugawara wanted to bite back, how many times had he told him he was okay or fine?
But he didn’t.
“Thank you, Daichi.”
Daichi smiled and God that smile.
“Shall we head to bed? We can carry on with this tomorrow.”
Sugawara nodded this time, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to sleep. But Daichi was tired.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll take the couch.”
“No, I will.”
“Suga,” Daichi started.
“No, I’m taking the couch.” Sugawara scooted over to the couch on legs that were numb from sitting on them, beating Daichi by seconds and lying down on the plush furnishing.
“Okay, okay, you’re on the couch.” Daichi relented. He stood from where he was kneeling on the floor, going to the airing cupboard to fetch a blanket for the other man. “Here.” He passed the blanket to Sugawara, eyes wandering to the bruise above Sugawara’s right eye, “in case you get cold.”
“Thanks.” Sugawara smiled, unfurling the blanket and setting it over himself.
“Night,” Daichi waved, closing the living room door.
“Night, Daichi.” Sugawara returned, rolling onto his side and reaching across the arm of the couch to turn off the desk light on the side table. He lay there in silence, closing his eyes and trying to succumb to sleep, unsuccessful in his endeavour, he sighed and looked up at the artex ceiling with disdain. He hated artex. If he ever got the balls to ask Daichi out then they’d definitely move into his apartment together. He didn’t have artex.
He felt his face flush furiously at the thought, burying himself under the blanket and smothering his face into the pillow.
Daichi heard Sugawara’s sigh through the living room door and he also sighed.
How could he help the other man?
He made his way to the bedroom, closing his door but leaving it ajar just in case Sugawara needed him during the night. He sunk into his bed, breathing a sigh as his air conditioning chilled room relieved him of the heat outside.
He even suppressed a shiver.
Daichi closed his tired eyes, rolling onto his side as he allowed himself to drift off.
Daichi was awoken by the sound of his bedroom door closing softly, he shot up in bed and looked to the door.
“Suga?”
No answer.
He looked at the clock on his bedside table and saw only two hours had passed. No wonder his eyes hurt.
He took a moment to compose himself, gathering his scattered bearings before he moved to stand. He was cold now and wrapped his dressing gown around his body. Daichi moved to his bedroom door, opening the door that was now shut tightly and walking down the hallway.
The lino flooring was cold on his bare feet, dark tiling chilling him further. First he checked the living room, no Sugawara.
“Suga?” He padded down to the bathroom on the other side of the apartment, seeing the door ajar and the light on. He knocked softly on the door, the door creaking open just slightly in response.
Sugawara cleared his throat, “yeah?”
“Can I come in?”
“Sure.” A sniffle.
Not good.
Daichi pushed inside and looked at Sugawara, he was sat on the edge of the bath with one leg crossed over the other, tears in his eyes and hands reaching up to swipe at them.
“Are you okay?”
Sugawara looked down, “no… I can’t sleep.”
“Is there any reason why?”
Sugawara tucked some hair behind his ear, using the back of his hand to wipe away a tear from his cheek, “I broke up with Keigo.”
Daichi felt his heart stop in his chest, a part of him happy, another hurting, he didn’t want Sugawara to be sad over someone like Keigo.
“I mean, that’s not why I’m sad, but I just wish I’d never met him. We went to meet my parents today. And now I’m gonna have to call my parents and tell them and I know what their reaction will be, you’ll be okay, we never liked him anyway. But when are you going to learn your lesson? Being gay will only bring heartbreak.” Sugawara buried his face in his hands, “I was lucky I could put up a fight, he did this to me without any hesitation.” He pointed to the bruise on his eyebrow.
“I hate him.” Daichi said, sitting down beside Sugawara and biting his lip, “I mean, I don’t want to intrude, God that’s the last thing I want to do, but if he could hurt you he’s a douche bag.”
Sugawara scoffed, “I broke his nose.”
Daichi couldn’t fight the smirk that graced his lips, the huff of laughter that escaped him. “That’s so you.”
“You think?” Sugawara laughed too; the sound watery. “God what am I to make you think that that’s me?”
“No! I mean,” Daichi tried to correct himself, “you’re so strong, both physically and mentally—”
Sugawara laughed again, “it’s okay, I know what you mean.”
“I’m glad.” Daichi smiled, reaching up to wipe away a tear from Sugawara’s face with his thumb, “God, Suga, you’re amazing. Don’t let Keigo or your parents stop you from seeing that.”
“I won’t.” Sugawara smiled; cheeks slightly rosy as he dipped his head into Daichi’s touch.
Daichi felt his cheeks heat up, stroking along Sugawara’s dry cheek with his thumb. “The upside of you dumping Keigo is that I get a chance now.”
He felt Sugawara tense in his hand and he raised his head to look at Daichi.
“What?”
Daichi floundered for a few seconds, he recomposed himself and smiled, “must’ve been the wind.”
Sugawara looked perplexed for just a moment.
“Yeah…” He looked down.
“Hey, Suga.”
Sugawara looked up again, meeting Daichi’s eyes with his own and he noticed the distance between them grow scarce, eyes landing on Daichi’s lips growing ever nearer as his finger and thumb held Sugawara’s chin. Daichi’s lips caressed his own and Sugawara’s heart slammed into his chest.
“Did you mean what you said?” Sugawara whispered to Daichi’s lips; eyes hooded.
“I think I’ve loved you since you broke your leg two years ago.” Daichi mumbled, thumb and finger still holding Sugawara’s chin. “Scratch that, I know I love you.”
Sugawara felt tears prick at his eyes again, biting his lip he closed the distance between them again, a second chaste kiss passing between them.
“I love you too, I have for a while.” Sugawara shrugged. “I thought if I dated other people that I wouldn’t have to deal with your denseness.” He smirked.”
“Oho, my denseness you say?” Daichi laughed, gently shoving Sugawara’s shoulder with his own.
“Yeah, your total denseness and obliviousness to the fact I didn’t lose my keys every week for the last six years.” Sugawara jibed back, shoving Daichi in the same way.
Daichi pushed Sugawara one last time, the latter falling over the edge of the bathtub and into the white plastic basin, he was laughing and Daichi knew they’d wake the other neighbours at this rate. He helped Sugawara back up after catching him in his arms. “I knew.”
“You knew?”
“I did.”
“Then why didn’t you say something?”
Daichi shrugged, “it became a nice routine.”
“You’re such a dork,” Sugawara laughed, quieter this time, and he buried his face in Daichi’s shoulder.
“Well from now on, I’m your dork.”