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"I'll be home on leave in a few days. Try not to get yourself killed before then, alright?" James "Rhodey" Rhodes voice echoes throughout the lab from speakers on the ceiling.
Tony pouts and spins around on his Very Official Office Chair. "Aw, but Honey-bear, that's no fun at all! And don't lie, I know you're dying to play the knight in shining gold titanium armor and rescue little ole me." He throws a hand dramatically across a forehead.
Rhodey doesn't get enough cell service in whatever hellhole the president had him now for a video call, so Tony doesn't actually see the eye-roll that is directed his way, but he knows it happens.
"Whatever, Tones. I'm serious, though. I've got enough to worry about without you blowing yourself up." Tony opens his mouth to protest, but Rhodey cuts him off. "And don't give me that 'But Rhodey, I blew up all my suits' crap. You were perfectly capable of blowing yourself up with your geeky tech stuff long before you became Iron Man."
Tony splutters for a moment. "Okay, first off, I sound nothing like that. Secondly, it's not 'geeky tech stuff'. You're talking about marvels of scientific engineering. I am singlehandedly pushing ahead the technological understanding of the human race and some people have the gall to call it 'geeky tech st-'"
Rhodey cuts off his tirade with an exasperated chuckle. "Yes, alright, we're all in awe of your massive brain."
Tony, properly mollified, sinks back into the rolling chair. "Thirdly, it's not likely I'll be blowing anything up with Bruce around." He mutters this petulantly, but a secret smile crosses his lips.
"Oh, yeah, I heard you were hosting Dr. Banner at the tower."
"It's horrible, Rhodey." Tony moans. "He makes me follow 'proper safety procedures' and go to sleep just when I'm on the edge of a scientific breakthrough. And don't get me started on that whole 'healthy food' crap. "
"Sounds like he's got you well in hand." Rhodey sounds both impressed and amused. "Good. Someone needs to, and god knows Pepper and I never managed it."
Tony sees the opportunity and smirks. "Oh, trust me sugar pie, you keep me well in hand." He purrs.
Rhodey sighs loudly into the receiver. "I'm hanging up now, Tony. See you next Tuesday."
"Can't wait, sweetie."
Tony laughs at Rhodey disgruntled huff before the line disconnects.
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Tony's not blind to his own habits. He read the profile Natalie - pardon me, Natasha - had put together on him. While most of it was complete bullshit or due to extenuating circumstances, she was unnervingly accurate about some things.
"Subject uses charm as a form of self-defense against those around him. He appears not to know how else to interact with those around him, and flirting is the subject's only sense of people skills. It is this agent’s opinion that the subject is often not even aware of his own flirting at times, and almost never means it. Since the events of Afghanistan (See Page 7-E), the subject has not followed up on any flirting or charm he has utilized in his interactions with others.
Final conclusion: Irritating, but harmless."
Tony had chuckled without much amusement when he read the last line. It probably had been irritating, he could admit that now. In his defense, he hadn't been in a good place, what with the whole dying thing. But Natalie-tasha had been there and sexy and yeah he might have said some things that weren't really appropriate for an employer to say to his PA. He would have apologized once he wasn't dying anymore, but then she had turned out to be a secret agency spy and, well. All things considered, Tony felt Natali-asha wasn't the one who was owed an apology.
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"Tony, I need you to sign these." Pepper bustles into the kitchen, looking absolutely ravishing in her no-nonsense pantsuit, hands full of papers.
"Wait a second." Tony turns away from the counter, his third cup of coffee clutched in one hand. "I thought you weren't my PA anymore." Pepper ignores him and sets the stacks of paper down on the table as Tony continues. "Yeah, I distinctly remember, you said that if you were going to be CEO then you couldn't be my PA anymore. We agreed, right? You became CEO and I had to tie my own shoes from now on."
Pepper raises an eyebrow at him and crosses her arms. "That's all well and good, but you haven't come into the office in three weeks and I really need you to sign off on these.”
Tony huffs out a laugh. "Oh, sure, deny it all you want. You just couldn't stand to be away from me any longer." As soon as the words leave his lips, he freezes. They broke up barely three months ago, and it was far too soon for Tony to be flirting with her, no matter how much he didn't mean it. Tony barely breathes, watching Pepper anxiously.
Her only reaction is a roll of the eyes. "Oh, yes, I couldn't stand to be away from a man who smells like a car engine and smoke and has.... Is that motor oil in your hair?"
Tony runs a hand through his clumpy hair and examines his fingers. Not that the substance in his hair is identifiable, what with all the other grease and oil he has smeared on his hand. "Quite likely." He shrugs, not really concerned.
Pepper rolls her eyes and pulls a pen out of... somewhere. "Just sign the papers." She demands with an air of longsuffering.
"Whatever you wish, dearest." Tony smiles cheekily and takes the pen.
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"I'm telling you, Nicky-bear. Propeller engines are so Wright Brothers. Seriously, I got a real up close look at your systems and what I saw between avoiding death made me want to cry. You know what's in this season? Propulsers. I should know, I made them."
Tony chatters mile a minute to an increasingly irritated Nicholas Fury.
"What is the point to this, Stark?" He snaps out when Tony finally pauses to take a breath.
Tony adopts an offended expression. "Why, Nicky-poo, I'm hurt! You hired me as a consultant, and here I am, consulting, and you're annoyed at me! It's almost as if I wasn't welcome!"
"As welcome as a hole in the head." Fury mutters, rubbing at his temples. A certain Stark-shaped migraine is building, and he's eager to get the man out of his office as soon as possible. "Fine, say SHIELD would be interested in some propulser propelled hellicarriers. What do you want in exchange?"
Tony's gleeful expression suddenly drops, leaving the man startlingly sober. "Get General Ross off of Bruce's back. Or anyone else that's after him."
Fury regards Tony with his one good eye. "How do you propose we do that?" He asks very calmly.
Tony shrugs and waves a dismissive hand through the air. "I don't care. You're a vague but menacing government agency. I know you've got your ways. Just make sure that Bruce doesn't have to run anymore. He deserves his peace."
Silence reigns in the office for several long seconds before Nick nods slowly. "I can't argue with that. But it'll be hard." His gaze is piercing.
"I'll provide engines and propulsers for two smaller hellicarriers." Tony offers.
"Three." Nick counters. "And the flight navigation system."
Tony beams and stretches out a hand for a handshake. "Pleasure doing business with you."
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"Could you run this model through diagnostics, J?" Tony sends the hologram of the new and improved hellicarrier engines fluttering through the air before it disappeared.
"Of course, sir." Jarvis replies dutifully.
Tony beams at Jarvis's nearest camera. "You're so good to me."
"I try, sir." Jarvis's tone would sound monotone to the casual observer, but Tony hears the wry humor in it.
"Seriously, Jarvis, remind me to give you those sensor updates I promised you. You've more than deserved them." Tony says fervently, suddenly acutely aware of just how much he relies on the AI.
Tony can almost hear the raised eyebrow in Jarvis's next words. "If I may inquire, sir, why this sudden devotion?"
Tony shrugs. "I don't know what you're talking about, Jarv. I'm always devoted. After all, what would I do without you?"
"I shudder to think, sir."
Tony bursts into laughter.
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"So how are the squishy sciences treating you?"
Bruce starts at the sudden voice after the hours of silence he had spent in his lab. Luckily he wasn't holding anything too important, and only an empty test tube clatters to the ground. He whirls around to face the entrance to the lab. Instincts from years of being hunted have his breath coming fast and his eyes clouding green.
At the doorway, Tony raises his hands to show he isn't armed. "Oh, sorry man, didn't mean to startle you." His face and voice are calm, and he stands easily, not like he's prepared to fight or run.
Bruce releases a long breath as his eyes bleed back into brown. "Tony." He says, the name a sigh.
The man in question grins cheekily and sticks his hands into his pockets. "That's my name, don't wear it out."
He ambles further into the lab as Bruce picks up the test tube. "I thought the point of you giving me my own lab was so I could work in peace?" Bruce raises an eyebrow with a small smile and Tony beams.
"Bruce, are you teasing me? You are, aren't you?" He lets out a delighted chuckle. "What, I can't drop by and visit my favorite physicist-slash-biologist-slash-doctor?"
"Well, sure, it's your tower." Bruce shrugs but continues to eye Tony doubtfully. "But I can't help but feel there's more to it."
"Ah, Bruce, you of little faith." Tony sighs and collapses into a chair. Bruce leans up against a table across from him and waits expectantly.
"I just wanted to let you know that Ross or anyone else isn't a problem any longer. You don't have to run anymore." Tony carefully examines his cuticles as he says this.
Bruce is silent for a very long time. When Tony finally looks up again, he seems to be in shock. "I- Tony- I can never repay-"
Tony waves a hand through the air dismissively. "Don't worry about it. After all, you're putting up with my presence, so I'd say you're more than paying me back."
"Well, I enjoy your presence, so..." Bruce trails off as Tony stares at him in surprise. The scientist is observing the floor with the same intensity Tony had given his fingernails, but he doesn't seem inclined to take back his words.
Tony doesn't quite know how to respond to that, so he reverts back to his default - a mix of charm and obnoxious flirting.
"Well Brucie-bear, just let me know whenever you want my presence." You'd have to be blind and deaf to miss the emphasis Tony puts on the word, not to mention the eyebrow waggle that accompanies it.
"I don't doubt that I will." Bruce says, for once meeting Tony's gaze. His cheeks are tinged pink, the only indication that he said what he just had.
Tony can count on two hands how many times he's been struck speechless. This moment will have to be added to the list, because he just stares at Bruce in silence for a good moment.
Bruce shuffles uncomfortably under the attention, then smiles shakily. "Cat got your tongue?" He asks, but he sounds worried. His blush has deepened, some part of Tony notes.
His brain finally kicks back into gear, and Tony grins delightedly. "Wow, I can honestly say I didn’t expect that. I thought you had to live a life of abstinence or something horrific like that?" He asks, teasing but also genuinely curious.
Bruce shrugs. "I can have sex; I just have to be careful." He seems to gather courage before continuing. "I've seen your safety procedures, Tony. Do you even know what careful is?"
"Are you kidding me?" Tony laughs incredulously. He had wondered, idly, about Bruce and him, but he thought the other man wasn't ready for a relationship, and Tony respected that. Needless to say, this had taken him completely by surprise, but in the best kind of way. "I'd wear a full hazmat suit if it got us into the same bed together." He's gazing at Bruce in a kind of incredulous wonder, half-expecting the Punk'd cameras to be revealed at any second.
"Well," Bruce shuffles from foot to foot, but his smile is blindingly bright as he meets Tony's gaze. "Maybe buy me dinner first."
Tony beams. "Sure thing, Brucie-bear."