Work Text:
“I cannot believe they’re at it again…” Nami shakes her in disbelief as she observes her two crew members being at each other’s throats again. “It’s only been like… ten minutes or something since the last time…” Usopp huffs next to her and purses his lips. “I wish they’d just admit they’re totally doing this so they have an excuse to be all up close and personal. ” Nami throws her head back and laughs at that before she snickers, “They don’t even have a good reason for arguing this time.”
“If you disrespect a lady in front of me again, I swear to God, Marimo, I will not hold back,” Sanji barks at Zoro and glares at him who just mimics Sanji and rolls his eyes. “I didn’t disrespect anybody, Cook. I just spoke about her like I do about anyone. You know, like she’s an actual human being?” Zoro stops talking as a leg comes swinging at him out of nowhere. He blocks it with one of his swords and growls quietly as he narrows his eyes on Sanji who merely stands there nonchalantly and pulls a cigarette out of his pocket. “If you’d stop being so goddamn stuck-up about women, you’d be a lot less annoying, Pervert Cook.” Sanji lights his cigarette in response as if he has all the time in the world and takes a drag before charging at Zoro. “If you’d just learn to shut the hell up and to actually think before you speak, we would have a lot less problems on this ship.”>
Instead of blocking Sanji's leg, Zoro decides to fight back this time, aiming at the other with two of his swords and just barely missing Sanji who jumps high up into the air. They glare at each other for a few minutes, Sanji looking down on the other while he kicks the air until Zoro scoffs, “Maybe you’re the one who needs to shut up for once. Stop treating women like you’re their slave, for God’s sake.”
Sanji gapes at him for a few seconds, cigarette in his mouth forgotten, before he collects himself and charges at Zoro, kicking the air violently to gain enough speed. He hits the ground with enough force to make the whole ship sway and grabs Zoro by the shirt, fire blazing in his eyes. “If you honestly think that by respecting women, I’m treating them wrong, then you really are a lost cause!” he hisses through gritted teeth and Zoro can smell Sanji's cigarette breath and feel the heat radiating off of him.
He wants to fire something back, frustrated that the blond just doesn’t seem to get it, but finds himself unable to open his mouth, let alone speak. Instead he just keeps staring at Sanji in silence, who frowns and scoffs, “What, forget how to talk, Idiot?” Zoro scrunches his nose up and snarls lowly but doesn’t say anything. His gaze keeps flicking back and forth between Sanji's eyes and his lips and he’s getting more angry by the minute because all he wants to do is give that Shitty Cook a piece of his mind. After a few moments of silence, Sanji feels like their position right now is a little awkward, so he decides to give their fight a little push and shoves Zoro against the wall, not letting go of his shirt. Zoro, who’s been focused on willing his mouth to cooperate, is taken by surprise and forcefully hits the wall with his back, knocking the air out of his lungs. Sanji grins triumphantly at him as he towers above Zoro. “Guess my higher bounty really does ring true, Dumbass,” Sanji taunts, snickering, and that’s more than enough to get Zoro out of his petrified state. He bares his teeth and lets go of one of his swords in order to grab Sanji by the collar in a likewise manner.
“I don’t care about numbers. The only thing that counts is your own strength and whether or not you can stand your ground, Cook, ” Zoro grunts and Sanji huffs, his hot breath hitting Zoro's face. “Brute strength isn’t gonna get you everywhere. But seeing as thinking’s not your strong suit, I’m afraid there’s not much hope for you, you Brainless Moss.”
That’s it. Zoro roars loudly, eyes flashing with fury as he tightens his grip on Sanji's collar and drags him down until they’re at eye level. Sanji’s face is merely a few centimetres away from his own, the wall behind him keeping him from backing away. “Watch it, Mr I-am-completely-useless-when-it-comes-to-fighting-women.”
Sanji licks his lips in anger and glowers at Zoro as he, too, pulls the other closer and grits out, “My morals are none of your–“
He can’t seem to finish his sentence. He can’t even move his mouth, somehow. Or rather, he can move his mouth but there’s something pressed against his lips, swallowing the words before they can come out and cutting off his air supply. Sanji’s eyes widen in silent shock and his grip on Zoro's collar loosens when he realises that, for whatever fucking reason, Zoro’s kissing him right now. Zoro uses Sanji’s confusion and pulls him even closer, forcing him to bend down. Sanji’s still staring at the other, wide-eyed and unmoving, while Zoro grips his shirt tightly and moans quietly against his lips, swords laying long forgotten on the ground.
Sanji still hasn’t overcome his shock when Zoro eventually pulls away, gasping for air. Zoro just stares at him intently, his chest heaving and there’s tense silence between them. Slowly, almost cautiously, Sanji reaches up and touches his own lips, eyes still blown wide in disbelief. There’s nothing stopping him from talking now, not anymore, but somehow he doesn’t even remember what he wanted to say earlier. Zoro keeps his eye fixed on Sanji, who’s rooted to the spot with one hand on his lips and the other hanging limply by his side.
Eventually Zoro’s breathing calmed down and he goes to pick up his swords when Sanji’s hand suddenly reaches for Zoro's collar again, forcefully dragging him close until their bodies are touching and he can feel the other’s heartbeat against his chest. Sanji still hasn’t quite processed the situation, he’s merely acting on an urge and tries not to think about how his instincts apparently want him to kiss his worst enemy. Zoro immediately responds to the kiss, eagerly pushing his body flush against Sanji's lean one as he wraps an arm against the small of his back. Their bodies fit together like pieces of a puzzle, their lips moving against each other in perfect sync and it’s like they never did anything else. Sanji doesn’t resist when he feels his hand move up and buries it in the green strands of Zoro, using it to pull him even closer, like he wants to swallow him whole. Zoro moans quietly in the back of his throat and digs his nails into Sanji's skin as he bites down on his lip.
They part, because they have to, and are both left desperately gasping for air with cheeks slightly flushed with arousal and exertion. Sanji’s still lost for words and his eyes are blown wide in bewilderment, like he doesn’t understand what just happened. Minutes pass and the two of them merely keep looking at one another, studying their faces hungrily like they’re really seeing each other for the first time. Zoro suddenly grins and leans forward a bit to whisper huskily, “I’ve no idea what just happened, Cook. But to be honest I’ve to say I’m quite liking how this turned out.”
“That took quite a turn,” Usopp comments flatly as Nami just gapes at the spectacle unfolding in front her. She certainly didn’t expect for the situation to escalate like this tonight. “Pay up,” Usopp orders and reaches out his open hand with a smirk.
I have you shoved against a wall but now I can’t stop looking at your mouth.