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“Don’t push yourself” she replied, taking her hands. “It will happen, you aren’t...broken, Jane.” Celeste says, tucking one of the strands too long to be her newly cut bangs behind her ear, the tips of her fingers brushing against her cheek, softly longing a bit there.
A few tears fall from Jane’s face but Celeste cleans them quickly smiling down at her with her pretty soft smile and Jane can’t help herself from licking her lips in response, her eyes checking Celeste’s lips to see her doing the same. And although she doesn’t want to ruin a moment of solitude between two friends, she can’t help but think how there’s an obvious sexual tension between them. And it’s not like, an aggressively tempting feeling like water quickly pouring down from a dropped cup on a sofa but it’s gentle like a feather following gravity to the ground. Jane has felt it the moment she laid eyes on Celeste, she thinks.
Of course, she’s completely breathtakingly beautiful there’s no denial but there’s something in the way Celeste stares at her, so sweetly, understanding, safe even. Jane knows though that Celeste is fierce like a lioness when tested even though she tries to hide it as much as she can. But Jane saw it all and then some more and she likes all of it.
It scares her a little, how much she likes it, getting her off guard how much she likes her and how protective she is of her. How willing she is to threaten anybody who would dare to hurt her and how blurred it feels to see Celeste hurt and getting herself hurt, as if they are one so if Celeste is hurt then she is too.
She knows it’s because Celeste, through it all, didn't doubt her word not once. She has trusted Jane, didn’t look at her differently and has proven to want to protect and be by her side again and again. Not just because of her husband’s death but for what Jane has gone through. Celeste sees what Jane sees, sometimes she thinks. Feels what she feels. A sense of helplessness, of wanting to move on but not necessarily knowing how to but still walking forward anyways.
Jane knows Celeste isn’t sex repulsive like she is. Funny about trauma how they can work the same yet so differently. She knows about Celeste’s sex drives, has read about it in an attempt to help her friend like she so desperately wants to. And she has never felt this desperate for someone’s well being that isn’t Ziggy before and that’s why, she gently closes the small distance between herself and Celeste, clashing their lips together.
Jane’s heart bumps hard against her chest when it takes a few moments before Celeste begins to respond. Fire coursing through her veins, burning low in her core, surprising a soft moan out of her. There are no tears out of frustration from her this time which makes her smile and her eyes fill with tears - all happy ones. She doesn’t want to overthink it too much, though. Celeste’s lips feels soft against hers, her tongue is inside her mouth now massaging hers and...oh, the things it does to her. It feels completely foreign but nice she doesn’t want it to end ever and gets anxious a little for expecting her body to shut down like it did before.
“Jane” Celeste says, between kisses as she stops them, smile on her face and a little frown dissolving away off her forehead . Maybe Jane wasn't the only lowkey overthinking the kiss, trying to hold on to a moment before their weird bodies did something out of their control. “Not that I’m complaining but...what was that for, huh?”
She figures she could explain the entire process of her knowing she had a crush on her since the begging but she goes with “I felt like kissing you” and a shrug, because it’s simple and the truth “I wanted to kiss you”
“Oh reaaally?” she says, lifts an eyebrow and her fingers play with Jane’s fingers now on her lap “I this case,” her smile widens, eyes close a little as it smiles too “Good because I did too”
They gaze into each other’s eyes a bit more, share more innocent kissing, setting a comfortable pace like they both need, as they talk about their children like they’ve done more times they can count except now they touch like they’ve wanted to before and it’s nice to have her heart beat so light and easily for someone as Celeste. She didn’t think she would have this again and she isn’t fooling herself into believing it will always be this easy.
But, in this moment,
it is .