Chapter Text
It was, quite a boring day in the Armed Detective Agency with little to no requests coming in. So, as usual, they're all stuck with this god forsaken paperwork. But when Atsushi suddenly gets a call from Chuuya, this boring day might not be so boring after all.
Chuuya: Yo, Atsushi, you free right now?
Atsushi: Nakahara-san, I just have to finish this last paperwork but sure! Is there something you need?
Chuuya: Nothing really important, I just finished a mission and suddenly got hungry. Was wondering if you'd want to eat with me?
Atsushi: Oh! that'd be wonderf- ah! Dazai-san! Hey slug, what are you doing infecting Atsushi-kun's phone with your virus??? That's so disgusting ew shoo shoo! Go infect someone else instead!!
Chuuya: Wha- virus???? Oy shitty Dazai fucking get off the phone! I swear to god you always ruin everything!!
Atsushi: Dazai-san, please give me back my phone!!
Dazai: And why do you want to eat with Atsushi-kun huh??? Look, just because you don't have friends, which is devastating, I know, doesn't mean you can force him to spend time with you, that just makes you more of a loser than you already are!
Chuuya: Shut the fuck up I'm not forcing him!! Just now he was about to agree anyway before your bitchass took his phone, give it back to him!
Dazai: As if I'd listen to you-Oh! What was that, dear Atsushi-kun? Gasp! Is that true? My, how embarrassing!
Chuuya: What is it, what did he say?
Dazai: He just told me he's gonna skip out on you since, apparently, you only ever eat rat droppings. My god, Chuuya, are you actually okay? Like, I'm genuinely worried for you.
Chuuya: Piece of shit, stop fucking making up stories when they aren't even convincing!
Dazai: Making up unconvincing stories, you say. So then why is Atsushi-kun throwing up right now? Just how cruel do you have to be to do that to sweet little Atsushi-kun? Unacceptable! Apologize to him right this instanhnfb
Chuuya: The hell?
Atsushi: Nakahara-san, I'm so sorry!! What Dazai-san said wasn't true at all, I'm perfectly fine!
Chuuya: Finally that damn mophead is gone. Don't worry, kid, I didn't believe him anyway. So how'd you get your phone back? Did you kick him in the balls?
Atsushi: What? N-no, Kunikida-san just punched him to get back to work, though he seems to be having a hard time getting up right now.
Chuuya: Hah! Serves that asshole right. So I'll see you at noon?
Atsushi: Yes, I look forward to it Nakahara-san!