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“NICK!” The desperation in Cory’s voice echoed across the field and up the mountain and only a select few knew what it really meant. It made Ross freeze and it made Adam look back as Cory sprinted over to Nick, ignoring the deathclaw, throwing his gun aside, and holding his arms out. Nick dropped his gun too, and he took a few steps back as Cory offered a hug. Cory cussed in his head and backed off, returning his hands to his sides. “Nick, oh my god you’re alive! You’re really alive! Jesus Christ I thought you were dead, we all thought you were dead Nick, we had a funeral and everything!” he shouted, and Nick scoffed, avoiding eye contact.
“Really? Just for me? D’aw, Cory, I’m flattered,” he said, waving a hand. Adam started walking across the field, purposefully taking his time. Uni, way less intuitive, bounded up to Nick and jumped on him. “AH! Uni, hey buddy!” Nick pet Uni’s head and scratched behind his ears.
“Nick! I thought you were gone forever!” Uni started to lick Nick’s face and Nick pushed him down, his face scrunching up in disgust. Cory smiled a bit.
“Oh Uni, I’m indestructible, nothing can get to me!” Nick said, beaming. He looked back at Cory, taking a deep breath. He smiled wider and hoped it was convincing. “You didn’t need to worry about me, guys, I had it all covered!”
“I was so fucking devastated,” Cory breathed, and slowly, Uni backed away. “Nick I- I need to stop bullshitting you. You being gone made me realize something very important that I feel like I have to say right now.”
Adam raised his eyebrows. Nick looked at Cory, tilting his head, still smiling. “Cory what’s going on with you, quit being weird,” he said, letting out an awkward laugh. The hot sun beat down on them and Nick inched closer to the shade of the mountain that towered above.
“Nick,” Cory said. “I spent a long time in, in denial? Or something. Maybe it was the world I was in, or maybe, it, it was because I didn’t think love could exist in a world like this. But obviously that’s not, true, um, because I love you, Nick.” Cory’s shoulders slumped. “I-I love you.”
Everyone was silent for what seemed like forever. Ross, hands pinned behind his back, stared ahead at the two kids. His fingers twitched and he looked down. A light gust of wind blew through Nick’s tangled curls of brown hair. “What?” was all he said, his smile falling.
“I love you,” Cory choked out again. He was starting to shake. Adam covered his mouth and Uni hid behind him. “Everytime I look at you I feel all, warm, and happy, and when I lost you it felt like something was ripped right out of me, like a piece of my heart, or some cheesy bullshit like that. But now you’re back and I don’t want to waste any more time so, I love you.”
Nick was silent, his heart pounding in his chest, his breathing feeling quicker than it should be. He took another step back, shaking his head.
Cory’s smile was gone too. “Say something,” he whispered. Adam let out a sigh, angling his head away for a couple moments before looking right back. Nick shook his head again.
“Cory I- can’t. I don’t know what you’re, really talking about and I can’t really uh,” Nick exhaled and dug his nails into his palms. “I don’t think I feel- I’m sorry. I don’t think I feel that way. I don’t know if I can feel that way. I’m really sorry Cory. I need to-” Nick covered his eyes and darted away, clutching at his chest. He pulled his hood further over his head and disappeared behind a barricade.
“Nick,” Cory mumbled, and Adam came forward, putting a firm hand on Cory’s shoulder. He looked back at Cory with sorry eyes, but Cory only glared back. Adam nodded, let go, and jogged after Nick. Cory brushed his hand through his hair and gripped it hard. He felt something on his leg and looked down, seeing Uni leaning against him, tail hung low. Cory lowered himself to his knees and sprawled his legs out beside him, wrapping an arm around Uni.
----
“Nick- Nick hey, man, you alright?” Adam caught up to Nick, who was seated behind the barricade, trying to take deep breaths.
“I don’t get why he said that,” Nick mumbled, and Adam sat next to him. “I don’t get why.”
“Don’t say a word if you don’t want to. You feel the way you wanna feel, alright? Don’t say you feel some way for anyone, you come first,” Adam said, nodding firmly to Nick. “Speak your truth, and shit.”
Nick hugged his knees and hid his face. Adam rubbed his back. “You’ll both be just fine.”
----
Later that day they caught up. Nick told his story, they were introduced to Susan the deathclaw, and they had a discussion about Ross. Nick put on his persona and Cory made up his own for the occasion. Adam crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his fingers against his biceps the whole time, increasingly anxious about it all. They set up camp, stashed Ross behind bars, and pretended the confession and rejection never happened.
The stars were out when Adam sauntered across camp to Cory’s tent, soon noticing the Pip-Boy on the ground outside. He smiled and kneeled down. “Cory kick you out?” he asked, and he got no response. He scoffed, picked the device up, and turned up the volume.
“Yes, he did,” Dawn’s quiet voice said with an undertone of irritation. Adam laughed and stood up with Dawn in hand. “I was just trying to offer comfort. Advice. That boy never listens to me, y’know.”
“I know,” Adam said, and he stepped inside. “Cory. Hey, man-”
“I don’t wanna talk about Ross right now,” Cory grumbled. He was curled up in his cot, his head covered by his pillow. Adam shook his head, walked over, and lit up Cory’s lantern. “Gh, Adam what the hell, man.” Cory squeezed the pillow tighter over his head.
“This isn’t a negotiation.” Adam grabbed the pillow and yanked it out of Cory’s hand. “And this isn’t about Ross, either, we can hash that out all we want later.” Adam tossed the pillow on the ground and set Dawn down on the crate by the cot.
Cory glanced at Adam for a couple seconds before he realized. “Aw fucking shit,” he said, squirming away as Adam sat down at the foot of the cot and cleared his throat. “No, Adam, nooooo.”
“Ey, cállate, you need to talk about this,” Adam said, hitting Cory’s leg.
“Adam please don’t do this I just want to forget it happened okay? It’s not like it’s my first time getting rejected, just please leave it be.”
Adam took a deep breath and shushed Cory. “Mijo, you just confessed your love to someone and got horribly rejected in front of everyone, this isn’t just gonna go away. I need to tell you something,” he urged.
“Thanks for reminding me,” Cory said, curling his legs closer to his body. Adam hit him in the head.
“Look. So you know how I said Sky and I knew each other. And we had a one night stand and all, sometime around ‘61,” Adam began, his gaze distant.
“Ew.”
“Cory I swear to god if you interrupt me again,” Adam warned, and Cory fell silent, staring at the wall. Adam smiled and stood up straighter. “That wasn’t exactly the whole truth. About Sky and I. Both of us were fibbing a bit on that one when we told the story, Sky started it and I followed along for his sake.”
Cory turned towards Adam, just slightly. “Anyway, the reality is, and I guess I should apologize to him for exposing him like this if I see him, Sky really liked me. He came over to my house and I guess we kind of unofficially dated for the first few days before we hooked up. So, Sky said he wanted to date me for real. But I was having, these issues.” Adam was quiet for a while, and Cory knew why. “I had a boyfriend, his name was-”
“Tommy Valentine, you told us,” Cory said, turning around. “You were with him for five years. But then he-”
“He’d been killed about, about a year before the whole Sky thing. And I wasn’t sure whether or not I was ready for someone else, like that. I didn’t wanna risk it.” Adam winced.
“You rejected Sky,” Cory breathed, sitting up. Adam nodded slowly.
“And I liked him too! I really did, but I just, everything was so fucking crazy, and I thought maybe I needed more time to cool off. It was one of the toughest decisions I made back then, really. And it was really hard. Being put in that position, is really hard.” Adam reached out and put a hand on Cory’s shoulder. “And you said what you needed to say. You put it out there, and that takes real courage, to say you love someone. I’m real proud for that, real proud. But just know. You have no idea what Nick might be dealing with. People who grew up in the Wasteland are way different than us. I doubt Nick was taught how to love.”
Cory processed for a moment, and then nodded. “I’m not mad, or anything, I could never be mad,” he said, brushing his hair back. “Thanks, man.”
“That’s good. Real good, kid. You’ll be okay, you know that right? I recommend talking to Nick, though,” Adam said, patting Cory’s shoulder and getting up. He straightened his shirt and tossed Cory his pillow before he walked off, sending Cory a salute.
Cory reached over and put out the lantern. “Get that through your thick skull?” Dawn suddenly uttered, and Cory turned the Pip-Boy’s volume off.
----
Nick got up early the next morning to see Uni laying down at the foot of his cot. “So you’re why my foot was cold all night,” he said, shaking his head and trying to smile. “Why aren’t you with Cory?”
“Because I missed you,” Uni grumbled, lifting his head. “Also Cory’s no good to sleep with when he’s tossing and turning. But, mostly, I missed you.”
Nick swung his legs off the bed and leaned forward. “Thanks, Uni, I uh.” He shut his eyes tight. “I missed you too.”
Uni got up, stretched, and sat next to Nick. His tail thumped against the cot. “You don’t smell too bad today, Nick.”
“Gee thanks, mutt.” Nick rolled his eyes and scratched Uni’s back for a little while, right around the metal bits, where Uni said it itched the most. “How’s Cory?” Nick asked, feeling guilty.
“Don’t think he slept much. Adam gave him some kind of talk, and that helped a bit, I think, but at some point I went to steal some of his snacks and he wasn’t in his room. It was just a few minutes ago, if he’s running away he hasn’t gone far,” Uni explained, and Nick shot up.
“He’s not here?” Nick asked, and Uni shook his head. Nick sighed, put his goggles on, and walked out of his tent, figuring he had to face the music. The sky was still dark, but sunlight was beginning to shine on the horizon, painting a beautiful canvas of orange, yellow, and blue in the sky.
Sitting on the ground a few yards away from the camp was Cory. He was leaning back, propped up by his arms, watching the sunrise. Nick watched from afar, trying to gather up courage, something he’d always had a bad relationship with. He cussed, stomped his foot, and started walking. He pulled his coat closer to his body as he approached Cory and kneeled down by him, resting his intertwined hands on his thighs.
“My mother always told me to stop and appreciate moments like this, y’know. Look how beautiful it is,” Cory said, shaking his head. “I would’ve taken so many pictures of this kind of sunrise.”
“At least it happens every day,” Nick added, not understanding the importance. Cory shook his head.
“Never the exact same.”
Nick looked at his hands and sighed. “Cory, I’m really sorry. I wish things could be different, but they’re not,” he said, fumbling over his words, and Cory turned to him. The golden light illuminated their faces.
“Don’t say that,” Cory said, trying not to focus too much on Nick’s features. “Never say that, you, I wouldn’t want to date you when you don’t feel the same, that would be fucked up.”
Nick glanced away. “You’re my friend. I want to be, your, friend, fuck, serious talks aren’t my forte.” He took his goggles off and rubbed his eyes.
“I get what you’re trying to say,” Cory mumbled, looking back at the sunrise. “I won’t let it ruin our friendship, you do mean a lot to me, as a friend. And I’d rather be your friend than y’know, just be angry at you forever. I’m gonna see you all the time, might as well make it as easy as I can. I’m, really glad to have you back.”
Nick let out a sigh and said, “Well, we’re friends then.”
Cory nodded, even though it hurt. “Friends.”
They watched the sunrise together, and Nick started to see it differently from then on.
----
Nick exhaled and moved his goggles to his forehead, the pure beauty of it all snatching the air right out of his lungs. He thought he had an idea of what the Green Place would look like before, in the underground town, where there were flowers and trees and grass; it was still fake but hey, it fooled Cory didn’t it?
But what he saw as he stood at the top of a hill overlooking a sea of life was different. It wasn’t as bright, but it was real, and that made it all the more amazing. Nick stumbled down the hill and onto the grass. He kneeled down and ran his fingers through it, the texture nothing like the fake turf in the underground town.
Adam slid down the hill beside him. “I haven’t seen this in two hundred years,” the ghoul said, all choked up. He kneeled as well and pressed his face to the grass like he was praying.
“The air feels so fresh,” Nick said, and Adam looked up as Uni shot past the both of them, running around and falling onto the grass, sticking his legs up and cheering.
“I told you I told you! It’s real!”
Nick heard footsteps to his left, and he looked over to see Cory standing next to him. Adam glanced over and got up, waving Dawn towards him. “Hey Dawnsworth come check if this river here is safe for swimming,” he said, walking away.
Nick stood up. “I can’t believe this is how you grew up. It’s just- it’s crazy to think, y’know?” he said, letting out a quiet laugh. “I can’t even talk right now.”
Cory just stared. After a while of silence, he said, “God, it’s so gorgeous, isn’t it? It kinda looks like the place I was shooting at before, y’know, nuclear annihilation. I wonder where we are right now. Still in California?” He looked over at Nick. “Sorry, I bet you have no idea what I’m talking about.”
Nick smiled, feeling warm. “Not particularly. But you ramble away,” he said, laughing. “I know you’re bummed you can’t really take pictures ‘cause your face is all bulky and shit and a camera is hard to come by, but maybe I can draw this. For you. If you want.”
Cory gazed at Nick, his cheeks and nose pink. “That would mean a lot,” he whispered, and he started to walk further into the green haven. He stopped for a moment, kneeling down and picking a flower. He stepped back towards Nick and tucked the flower behind his ear. “God, green is such a good color for you? I bet I would’ve been able to have a photoshoot with you here, would’ve turned out really good.” He smiled and wandered off towards Uni. Nick looked around, his face hot as he imagined it.
----
“Drawing another nature picture for Cory?” Uni asked, laying down in the grass next to Nick. “Adam’s mad because you’re not helping him build the house, by the way. He said, even though you can barely lift a twig you can still be helpful.”
Nick scoffed as he angled his sketchbook away from Uni. “I’ll come out in a second, alright? Tell Adam that,” he said, and Uni lifted his head curiously.
“What are you drawing that’s so secret?” Uni hummed, standing up and trying to sneak a peek. “Is that Cory?”
Nick blushed and shut his sketchbook. “Uni-”
“It is Cory, isn’t it! Why in the world are you drawing him?” Uni sat and tilted his head, ears perky. Nick glanced back at the house for a moment, thinking. Why was he drawing Cory? He didn’t have the answer himself.
“I don’t know, it’s just interesting, how his face works. With the camera and everything,” he said, bullshitting. Uni nodded, laying back down and rolling onto his back. Nick gave him a belly rub.
“Do you love Cory?”
The question caught Nick off guard. He opened his mouth to say no, but something stopped him, and he shut it again. He set his sketchbook aside and leaned forward. “I don’t, know. I thought I didn’t,” he whispered, running his fingers through his hair.
“I don’t understand love all too well either, but Cory said something to me. He said love is easier to recognize when we have people around us who love us. And I remember that Cory said he loved all of us. Adam said the same thing. But in a different way that Cory loves you, I guess, because he said there was family love and romantic love. It’s all so confusing, if you ask me. I wouldn’t worry all too much about it,” Uni explained, stretching.
“How do you know you love someone?” Nick asked, and Uni yawned.
“Beats me. Cory said it was something about, like, how it just feels right to be around them. Adam said it was when you’d give your life for someone.” Uni was quiet for a moment. “I think I love Cory,” he said, rolling back onto his stomach. “In the family way. If I’m understanding all this junk. He smells like home. Maybe when you love someone they smell a certain way. Oh well.” He got up. “Good luck, Nick.”
As Uni walked away, Nick sat in the grass, staring up at the blue sky. “How do you know what home smells like,” he asked, but he spoke too quiet, and Uni was out of earshot.
----
Nick wanted to learn how to dance. Ever since Cory found an old cassette tape player in the Wasteland he’d been thinking about one song. Cory would play it as we walked and Adam would shout the lyrics at the top of his lungs and dance around like all of a sudden he wasn’t in constant danger anymore. The lyrics were burned into Nick’s brain because of it.
Nick was laying down in bed on his stomach, content with having his own room for the first time in, ever, really. He was thinking, flipping through the pages of his sketchbook. He paused on some doodles of Cory, and he sighed. He got up and decided he needed to take a late night walk.
When he got outside, Cory was sitting on the porch, smoking a cigarette. Soft music was playing, flowing out from the cassette tape player resting next to him. Cory looked back and jumped, putting the cigarette out on the porch. “Hey,” he said as Nick sat down next to him and waved the last of the smoke away. “What’s on your mind?”
“What’s on yours?” Nick retaliated, and Cory shook his head. He was gazing out beyond the Green Place, out towards the hill that separated it from the rest of the world.
“Nothing important, I’m just feeling a little, stagnant,” he said, shrugging it off. “I’ll figure myself out. How about you?”
Nick leaned back and looked at the starry night sky. “Nothing important either. I was thinking about that song.”
Cory grinned, knowing the one. He picked up the cassette tape player. “I got you covered, Lynx.”
The song started playing, and Nick looked down at his feet. “Listen baby, ain’t no mountain high, ain’t no valley low.”
Nick stood up, and Cory followed suit. “Can you dance?” Nick asked, and Cory shrugged.
“I’m decent,” he said, holding out his hands, one high and one low. Nick stepped closer, and took Cory’s higher hand. The other hand rested lightly on Nick’s waist. “On my shoulder,” Cory said, and Nick put his free hand on Cory’s shoulder. “I’ll lead, follow my feet alright? ‘Cause baby there-”
“Ain’t no mountain hiigh enough,” Nick said, stumbling over Cory’s feet. They both laughed and Nick squeezed Cory’s hand tighter, looking down and managing to shakily step where he was supposed to. Cory was bobbing his head to the beat as they danced, and Nick finally looked up at him, smiling brightly.
From the house, Adam pushed the curtains aside and smiled at the two. He figured he’d let them be.
“To keep me from getting to you babe,” Cory whispered, and they both stared at each other, mouths parted, faces so close. Nick glanced at Cory’s lips, and Cory leaned in, and Nick froze up, his fingers pressing into Cory’s shoulder. Cory stopped, and let Nick go. “I’m- I’m sorry,” he stuttered, backing away. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s- Cory, I,” Nick couldn’t find the right words.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Cory picked up the cassette player and turned it off, and all of a sudden all the magic was gone and Nick felt a harsh tug somewhere deep inside. “I should sleep,” he said, and all Nick could do was nod.
Cory opened the door and walked inside, and Nick jogged after him. “Goodnight,” he said, wincing. Cory glanced back and offered a fake smile. Then he disappeared down the hall.
Nick waited for the door to shut. Then, he went to his room, and closed his door too. He collapsed on his bed and screamed into a pillow, tears stinging his eyes. He sobbed like he was in pain, confused and disoriented, until there was nothing left in his system.
----
“No, Susan, bring the stick back!” Nick shouted as the deathclaw broke the stick into shards with her sharp teeth. Nick sighed and huffed.
It was the morning after the dancing incident and Nick hadn’t slept a wink. All he was able to do besides absentmindedly throw sticks was think. He thought all night about love, and what Uni said it meant. He looked back on the day Cory confessed, trying to remember the wording. Something about feeling happy and warm. About feeling partially empty when Nick was gone, and feeling right when they were together. Uni said Cory smelled like home. Adam said love was to be willing to die for someone.
It all came together as Nick stood in silence, the dancing and the drawings and the warmth and the pain, most of all. Nick dropped the stick he was holding, backing away towards the house. “I love you too,” he whispered, and then he turned and sprinted. “I love you too!”
He finally understood what love was. It was all of those things and more, it was daydreaming and gazing and thinking, it was laughing and complimenting and pining and making the toughest decisions anyone would ever make. Nick burst through the door and made a beeline towards Cory’s room. Adam’s head shot up as Nick ran right in. “Cory I love you too I…”
The room was empty. The bed was made and the walls, which were previously decorated with pieces of Nick’s art, were barren. None of Cory’s clothes were scattered on the ground and the only sign of Uni was the dog hair on the end of the bed where he slept. Nick turned around and saw Adam at the doorway. “Where’d he-”
“He and Uni left. For good, I figure,” Adam said, his voice low and angry.
“No goodbyes?” Nick mumbled, his body starting to shake. Adam shook his head. He held out his arms, and Nick stumbled over and fell into them, hiding his face in Adam’s shirt. Adam sighed and rubbed Nick’s back.
“Hey now. I’ll bring that boy right back, if you want me to, just give me the word,” Adam said, and Nick tried to take deep breaths.
“No, I, he wanted to go. He wanted to go,” Nick whispered, and he realized: he felt the pain, the hole in his heart; he was in love, alright. “It’s my fault.”
“No it’s not. Hey, no it’s not.” Adam squeezed Nick tight and then led him to his room. “Come on, lay down, kiddo,” he urged, and Nick collapsed on his bed, looking straight up. Adam sat at the foot of the bed like he always did. “What happened that night, when you were dancing?”
Nick shut his eyes. “I think we were about to kiss. I think. And I kind of froze up. And he freaked out and he said he was sorry and he went into his room. I think I blew it,” he said, and Adam whistled.
“You didn’t blow anything, Nick. He was planning this before, Dawn saw him and Uni talking by the lake before the whole thing with you.”
“But I set him over the edge-”
“You didn’t do anything,” Adam said firmly, and Nick shut up. “I don’t know your story, and I don’t need to know it, but there’s a reason you’re so hesitant and I’m sure whatever it is, is perfectly reasonable. And I’m really sorry, about Cory. We’re all gonna miss him, but not like you, and, I’ll help you in any way I can, alright?”
Nick nodded. “Thanks,” he croaked. Adam leaned over and gave him a gentle side hug before got up and left Nick alone.
----
Nick had never felt so much like his father. As time passed, Nick found himself counting the days that Cory was gone. Four months and twenty days dragged on, and Adam checked on Nick every single one of those mornings, bringing him breakfast and talking to him for a little bit, sometimes managing to coax him out of his room.
Nick felt bad for Cory, but angry at him at the same time. Nick finally understood, on one hand, exactly what Cory had been through before. On the other hand, Cory was the one making Nick feel it.
“Love is pain, love is dumb, love isn’t worth it,” Nick recited as he took the petals off a flower and tossed them aside. He was laying in bed in the dark, sunlight unable to shine through his closed curtains.
He stopped talking when he heard commotion in the living room. Adam was talking really loud all of a sudden, and there was also a distant barking noise. Nick sighed and got out of bed, figuring he had to go see what was going on. He opened his door and stepped out into the hall, Adam’s voice getting louder. He was yelling. “I can’t believe you! Thank god you’re safe, do you have any idea how much I’ve been worrying about you! How much Nick has been-”
Nick stood still at the sight of Cory. Adam glanced over and cleared his throat. Cory gasped. “Nick,” he said, holding a hand out. “Oh my god, Nick I-”
Nick darted back into his room and slammed the door shut, his eyes wide. “Oh my god,” he whispered. “Oh my god oh my god what did- oh my god.” Nick backed away and put his hands on his head. He stumbled back, opening his curtains and squinting through the sudden rays of summer sunlight. He opened his window.
----
“See what you did,” Adam said, motioning to Nick’s door. Cory stared, mouth hanging open.
“What the hell just happened?” he asked, and Adam shook his head.
“You better go talk to him soon, if he’ll even let you,” the ghoul warned. “He is not happy with you.”
“Why not?” Cory asked, sincere. “What- I mean I knew I was gonna get shit from you, but it’s not like he ever liked me back, or anything, why is he so-”
“You really have no clue,” Adam said, scoffing and crossing his arms over his chest. “Go. The worst part about all this is that you don’t know exactly how dirty you did him by leaving.” He pushed Cory as he passed him to get to the kitchen.
Cory frowned and shook the confusion off, marching over to Nick’s room. He knocked before opening the door. “Hey, Nick,” he began, but then he stopped and stared at the empty room. The window was open, and a slight breeze was blowing the curtains, making them flutter up and away from the window. Cory cursed and walked back out. “He left the house.”
Adam leaned back on the kitchen counter as Cory walked past him. Once Cory was gone, Adam whistled and looked down at Uni. “Missed you, mutt. Let’s hang out.”
----
Nick wasn’t hard to find. He was talking to himself, pacing back and forth, shouting in frustration every couple of minutes.
“Why the hell did I do that, I’m so fucking- I- I can’t believe he’s back and he- he just- like it was all nothing! Why am I mad at him, I can’t be mad, he wasn’t mad at me- but I am mad! But he didn’t know- ugh, why can’t I ever do anything right!” Nick groaned, his face in his hands.
“Nick.” Nick whipped around at the sound of Cory’s voice. “Nick I’m sorry for leaving.”
Nick sighed, and shook his head. “Why are you out here?” he asked, his arms crossed over his chest. Cory gestured around with his hands.
“I, I was wrong. I thought I wanted the danger but it just made me so tired. And I know I sound like a broken record but I really fucking missed you, Nick. The Wasteland without you wasn’t exciting, it was hell,” he said, his voice desperate in the same way it was during the confession many months ago. “And I know you don’t like me back or whatever but I just- couldn’t stand it. I didn’t expect to need to say this, I didn’t think you’d react this much.”
Nick’s shoulders slumped, and he walked closer, moving his hands to his pockets. “You were wrong, I mean obviously.”
Cory scoffed. “Yeah. Were you worried about me?”
“Well, yeah, Cory, I-” Nick looked away for a couple seconds, stuttering, “I was so shocked you just- left. I thought it was my fault, because of the whole dancing thing-”
“Jesus, Nick, no!” Cory stepped closer. “It was a whole other deal, I swear.”
“I know! I know. But no goodbye, no warning, there- there was something I really needed to tell you, Cory.” Nick shrugged. “But you were gone.”
It was quiet except for the wind rustling the leaves on the trees. Cory was quiet, as if waiting for Nick to say it.
“When you confessed. When you said you loved me, I didn’t have any kind of a grasp on what it meant. I had never heard that word before in my life in that context. In a good context.” Nick took a shaky breath. “And I didn’t get why you said it. But then, time passed, and I started thinking. I started realizing how all those things that you said were love, they were happening to me too.”
Cory stood up straighter, his lips parting.
“When I wasn’t with you I felt incomplete. When I was with you, I felt whole. And I felt warm, and happy. But no one had ever told me they loved me, except once. And it wasn’t good,” Nick said, his voice getting choppy. He felt like crying. “I knew someone. A long time ago. He told me he loved me. And I thought I knew what it meant back then, but I, was wrong. That wasn’t love. Cory, the things that, Rich, did to me…” He shook his head, and Cory held a hand out. Nick took it and squeezed it. “I thought love was only bad. I thought it meant I was gonna be taken advantage of. I was afraid of it. No one was really there to teach me what it meant except for Rich. No real parents were there to tell me he wasn’t what love represents.”
“Nick, I had no idea,” Cory whispered. Nick wiped his eyes and let out a sob.
“Then I met you guys,” he said, and he smiled so sincerely that it melted Cory’s heart. “And, for once, there were people in my life who cared about me. You held a funeral for me! Cory, I never had anyone like that. And slowly I started to realize what love was? Because Adam would say it. And I got confused, because Adam’s a really good guy and he’d never do anything to hurt me. And then you said it too. But different. One on one, with this whole speech, and, and, I just freaked the fuck out. Because I did, have a crush on you, or whatever they say. I really did I just didn’t know what any of it meant. I didn’t know. But like I said I, I realized. I learned how to love, and it was all because of you guys.”
Nick reached his hand up, touching Cory’s face. “I love you too, Cory. I love you too.” He hid his face in Cory’s shoulder, and Cory held him close. “I love you too. And thank you. And I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Cory said. He took in Nick’s warmth. “I will never hurt you. Not in a million years, not any more than I already have. I love you, and I swear I will always make sure you’re safe. I love you.”
“I love you too,” Nick said, and it felt so good to say it.