Archive of Our Own

“You’re such a dork,” Donghyuck laughs as Mark films him. The younger is sitting on the floor, his legs folded showing off more of his beautiful thighs and tanned skin.

Mark laughs too, “they said they wanted me to film my life and you mister Lee Donghyuck are my life.”

He zooms in closer to his face when the younger starts to blush. Only laughing when he tells Mark to stop and to leave him alone. Making sure to film his beautiful smile as he stands up, he tries to look grumpy but Mark hasn’t seen Donghyuck this lively in weeks. Exams really are shit.

“I hate you,” he huffs and puts his hands around Mark’s neck. Mark has to make sure to still film the younger as he moves the camera away from his face. The younger is too close for the camera to fit between them.

The camera is quickly forgotten however when Donghyuck connects their lips. He’s kissing Mark slowly. So slow Mark can feel part of his mind blanking. He quickly shuts off the camera to kiss the younger back.

Mark pulls the camera out of his bag, he’d turned it on only seconds prior. He whips it towards his friends playing volleyball. Jaemin, Renjun and Jeno against Donghyuck, Chenle and Jisung.

The sun is hitting all of them beautifully. Donghyuck and Jaemin’s tans shining and Chenle’s blonde locks looking even brighter. He zooms in on some of them here and there, appreciating each of their beautiful smiles.

“Park Jisung!” Renjun shrieks when the taller hits him right on top of his head. He doesn’t look like he’s in pain, but Jisung rushes to apologise anyway. Mark giggles behind the camera as he zooms in and focuses on Renjun’s annoyed face and then on Jisung’s laughing one.

Jeno and Jaemin start doting on Renjun as soon as they realise what’s going on. Jeno hugging him and Jaemin simply giving his face thousands of kisses. Mark can’t help but focus his view entirely on them. He loves watching people in love.

“What about me!” Mark screams when Donghyuck pops into frame. His face mere centimetres away from the lens. His eyes are shining in mischief as he smiles at Mark. Not an ounce of regret in his face.

Mark takes a step back and films Donghyuck from top to bottom and back up, showing whoever watching the tapes his boyfriend's beautiful body, “you’re right. I should film you more.”

Donghyuck smiles even brighter. Mark has to look away in fear of kissing him right there and then, but the camera stays on the younger capturing how soft his eyes turn while watching Mark.

He can’t look away from him for long though. His eyes flickering back to the younger within seconds, “stop staring or I might kiss you,” Mark says as he lowers the camera. He doesn’t care that it’s filming the yellow palm tree on Donghyuck’s red tshirt.

“Kiss me then,” Hyuck dares.

And Mark does. He holds the camera on Donghyuck’s back, he’ll later realise that he’d been filming Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun during this time, but right then and there he can’t see or feel or hear anything other than Donghyuck.

His other hand quickly finds its way on the back of Hyuck’s neck, pulling the younger even closer. Donghyuck’s mouth is warmer than the sun shining down at them and Mark can’t help, but wanting more.

Within seconds he gets more. Donghyuck tastes like Coke and something so distinctly Hyuck. Mark let’s his fingers twist themselves into Donghyuck’s hair as they stand there kissing.

Donghyuck has his hands on Mark’s hips, his thumbs slowly drawing patterns into his hips. Mark feels like he’s on cloud nine. Donghyuck’s kisses are the best thing in the whole world and Mark can’t think of anything he’d rather do.

The younger kisses like Mark is made out of playdough and that he’ll break if he kisses too hard, but he knows exactly how much he can take. Donghyuck never pushes Mark too far, but he doesn’t go too slow either.

Just like the rest of Hyuck his kisses are perfect too.

He doesn’t want to stop kissing Donghyuck, but when they hear Jaemin groan loudly they separate quickly thinking their friend might be hurt, but Jaemin is just having an argument with Jeno and Renjun like usual.

Mark sighs and shuts off the camera before running over to calm his friends down.

“So Lee Donghyuck,” Mark speaks behind the camera, pretending to be an interviewer. Donghyuck only rolls his eyes and pushes the lens away from his face.

“You know you don’t have to film every single day right?” Hyuck is currently watching some drama Mark hasn’t bothered to keep up with and while the younger tries to ignore Mark for the screen he can tell Donghyuck can’t stop looking over at him. It makes his stomach tingle a little.

He shrugs, “it said show your life and life happens every day. I think I’m going to film for at least three seconds every day.”

“Well, it’s been more than three seconds now so come over here,” Donghyuck smiles towards Mark, looking past the camera and straight at Mark. He smiles right back at the younger, shutting the camera off in option to cuddle his lovely boyfriend instead.

Mark secretly films Jisung and Chenle from the window of his room. They’re all alone in Mark’s pool and while he’d been in his room to get them extra shirts he’d spotted the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

Chenle had been all up in Jisung’s face, probably teasing him about something again. The younger had been blushing and staring at the ground, but just when Mark was about to leave the room Chenle had looked behind Jisung and at the glass doors leading into the room and Mark knew something good was about to happen.

Once he’d decided it was safe he’d softly touched Jisung’s chin. They held eye contact for a second before sharing a very short but sweet kiss. Mark had scrambled for his camera immediately and here he is, filming his friends share soft kisses in secret.

He’ll ask them later if he can keep the footage or not, but he knows this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to see them be like they usually are when alone. He zooms in just as Jisung gives Chenle’s forehead a soft kiss.

Mark groans when he hears the doorbell ring and watches the two jump away from each other. He doesn’t stop filming as he runs downstairs opening the door for Renjun and Jeno. They aren’t as happy as they usually are but they smile at the camera anyway.

“Jaemin is just getting something from the car,” Jeno grumbles as he toes off his shoes, “we’ll just go to the pool.”

Mark nods at them, his camera is no longer filming them but it still captures their interlocked hands. Mark gulps in fear. He knows these boys, Jeno is never unhappy. He’s never sounded so annoyed with Mark before.

And if Jeno is that annoyed then Mark is not looking forward to seeing Jaemin. He stands in the doorway having completely forgotten his camera is rolling as he waits for Jaemin.

He’s proven wrong however when Jaemin strolls up with his usual bright smile. “Sorry, bro! You didn’t have to wait for me, I can open doors,” he giggles as he speaks. Mark isn’t quite sure what to do so he settles for an extremely awkward smile.

“It’s okay… was scared you’d be sad or something,” he knows it’s a lie, but it’s not a big one so he doesn’t feel bad. While he’d been more scared of Jaemin being angry too he can’t deny he was scared of Jaemin being sad too.

Jaemin laughs loudly, “I’m never sad.”

While they both know this is a lie because Jaemin is human after all they laugh and head to the pool. Mark finally turning off the camera.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but I think it’s time Jaemin breaks up with Jeno and Renjun or the other way around,” Hyuck talks as he chews his food. Mark knows he shouldn’t film this, it’s a private conversation after all, but nobody will see the video except the college he’s going to.

He continues, “don’t get me wrong. They were the best relationship I’d ever seen in my entire life until recently. Like whenever we’d fight, because we fight like every day, I’d look at them and think we’ll be okay. We just had to let go off the fight and we’d be happy like them.” He stops to push a spoonful of plain rice into his mouth.

Mark zooms in on Donghyuck’s stuffed cheeks sighing a little at how adorable his boyfriend it. Yes, they’ve already fought twice that day, and yes Mark’s eyes are puffy from crying but it doesn’t matter now that he has Hyuck in front of him. It doesn’t matter that it was the worst fight they’ve had in months because Hyuck is happy.

“But now Jaemin is always sitting far away from them all mad and scowling and I honestly think if he’s that angry at them he should just end it. He’s just ruining the mood for all of us,” Hyuck is now staring straight at Mark.

“Don’t you agree?” Mark hums, not really paying attention anymore. Donghyuck just looks so cute with his eyebrows furrowed and his cheeks a soft red from the annoyance bubbling under his skin.

“Mark Lee put that fucking camera down and pay attention to me,” Donghyuck sounds playful but Mark listens anyway and turns off the camera to pay attention to his boyfriend.

They’re at the beach again, this time Mark is filming for a different reason than usual. He’d thought about it all night. The assignment had been to show his life and while his life is often just him and Donghyuck talking he knows he has to show the negative stuff too, so now he’s filming Jeno and Jaemin screaming at each other.

Renjun is standing there too, but he just stopped screaming to sigh and rub his temples. Mark has no idea what they’re so angry about but from what he’s gathered there was a lot of problems at once.

When Renjun starts yelling again Mark notices it for the first time. Jeno and Renjun are on the same side. They’re ganging up against Jaemin. Mark’s stomach churns. He thinks back to what Donghyuck had said to him.

Donghyuck thinks this is all Jaemin’s fault but by the looks of it its Jeno and Renjun that are being mean. Jaemin doesn’t cry… ever. Mark had never seen him cry and he’d been with Jaemin when he found out his pet rabbit had died.

However, even though he’s not crying he looks distressed. He’s just trying to explain himself to the two boys but neither of them will shut up long enough to listen. Mark is about to shut off the camera to stop the fight when Jaemin yells the loudest he’s ever yelled.

“YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK THIS! FUCK YOU BOTH! FUCK THIS RELATIONSHIP,” he takes off their fake engagement ring and throws it at them, “I’M FUCKING DONE WITH BOTH OF YOU! WE’RE DONE!”

Before Mark can react the youngest is out the door. He gets one last shot of Renjun and Jeno in complete shock before he turns off the camera.

Mark pulls out his camera just as Chenle hugs Jisung, both of them sobbing. Chenle is leaving for China for two weeks and Jisung is staying home. They’ll be separated for more than 24 hours for the first time in three years or something crazy like that. Jisung usually joins Chenle on their family vacation but this year he had a summer job he couldn’t take two weeks off from.

Donghyuck tears up beside him watching the two best friends (Mark still calls them that even though he knows they’re more) say goodbye. It’s only two weeks but for them, it feels like forever.

He shuts the camera off to give Donghyuck a hug even though he knows the younger is mad at him for something he hasn’t quite figured out yet.

They’re only five people. Jaemin had texted Mark he’s never meeting (and Mark quotes) those fuckers again. He focuses the shot on the four boys in his living room. Jeno and Renjun aren’t touching as much as usual, but they’re still holding hands.

To be frank, Mark wants to throw them both out of his house. They broke Jaemin, not just his heart. They broke the Jaemin Mark grew up with. The Jaemin Mark had lost his first kiss to and the Jaemin who helped him study for exams even though he hates studying.

He moves the shot to Jisung. The youngest is sitting in the middle of the couch with a bowl of popcorn in his lap, his eyes strained on the tv. Mark zooms in to show whoever watches the video in the future just how adorable Jisung is.

Donghyuck is staring straight at Mark. It makes him jump a little and when he sees the way Donghyuck is furrowing his eyebrows he can’t help but feel a little anxious. He’s really tired of having fights.

The camera runs out of battery and he sets it to charge.

Mark turns the camera on just to check the battery, but hits record anyway. It doesn’t even take a second before Hyuck is back into the room and yelling at him. Mark had been sure the younger would be gone for a longer time.

He’d told him how he thought Jaemin was innocent and Donghyuck had not taken that lightly. It feels like no matter what Mark does at this point it's either a personal attack on Donghyuck or he’s just an idiot.

“Oh so you fight with your boyfriend and he leaves for a second and you’re already playing with a fucking camera?” Hyuck screams at him. Mark’s hands are shaking as he ignores the younger. He knows the camera is recording everything but he can’t make his fingers move to stop it.

“I can’t believe you Mark Lee! First, you side with Jaemin just to be mean to me and then you pay more attention to a fucking camera than me,” he tries to reach for the camera but Mark is quick to pull it away. If Donghyuck breaks the camera on accident Mark might not be able to finish his assignment.

“See? You don’t even trust me.” He folds his arms, “I think it’s time we break up.”

It feels like the air is punched out of Mark as the words enter his mind. His whole body feels cold and he breaks out in a cold sweat. His heart is beating so fast he can’t even breathe over it.

He tries to say something but what can he say? He knows its no use begging Donghyuck to stay and he kind of agrees. Maybe not break up, but they definitely need some space.

Mark swallows a big gulp of air before saying in the firmest voice he can muster, “I think so too.”

Nothing much happens after that. Donghyuck drops his arms and stare at Mark, but Mark doesn’t look back. He focuses on the camera in his hands. Before he knows it Donghyuck has left his house and Mark lets out a sob as he turns off the camera.

He turns on the camera with a sigh. Jaemin is sitting in front of him and quickly points the camera at Mark. The younger is smiling softly at him.

“So, Mark Lee, what are you doing on my couch today?” Jaemin cheerfully says. Mark knows the younger is a positive soul and that he shouldn’t compare himself to him but he still feels so weak compared to him.

He rolls his eyes, “I’m sulking with the only person I know who’s in pain too.”

Jaemin grins at this, “hell yeah!” He brings his fist towards Mark, “broken-hearted squad.” Mark pushes his fist away if it was Hyuck the younger would pout and be whiny about it but Jaemin just continues to smile.

“So, what do you want to do? We can’t just sit here all day,” Jaemin zooms in on Mark, the older can tell based on where his finger is placed and how he’s smiling but he lets the younger have his fun.

Mark shrugs, “was thinking we could just cuddle and watch a movie.”

“That sounds fun,” he places himself between Mark’s legs and points the camera at them like they’re some vloggers. “Now say goodbye Markie!”

Mark snorts but waves at the camera anyway. Jaemin giggles as he turns off the camera.

So, he’s supposed to only film a clip once a day, but with Jaemin begging for him to film him he can’t help it. The younger keens under the attention. Even though Mark knows Jaemin would be fine with it he tries not to show his face, focusing more on the details.

He shows Jaemin’s beautifully flushed chest and the way his hands are gripping Mark’s biceps. He films the lovebites Mark had placed there only minutes earlier. They start on his neck and go all the way to his abdomen and then his hips.

Jaemin whines when Mark uses too long to film his thighs and forgets to move, but Mark pays him no mind. He has to capture just how beautiful the younger is.

“Flip me over,” Jaemin pants out, “so you can show off the marks on my back too.”

His back is covered in lovebites too, and some scratches from when they’d been making out and he was getting back at Jaemin for scratching him. He guesses that’s when it really hit him what was about to happen.

He didn’t mind of course. Jaemin was hot and he’d heard stories of how good he was from Jeno and Renjun. He just hadn’t quite accepted what he was about to do until he realised he was marking Jaemin and he was moaning from it.

Jaemin starts to do the work himself and Mark almost drops the camera. He’d almost forgotten how good it felt when he moved. He quickly shuts off the camera to focus on Jaemin again.

The camera turns back on as soon as Jaemin joins him in the living room to eat. Jaemin’s parents had come home during the late hours so they’d decided to go to Mark’s place instead where they were 100% sure they’d be alone.

Neither of them really wanted to be caught doing what they were doing. Of course, neither of them were really doing anything bad, they were both single and available, but they’d only recently gotten single and some people might think they’re moving too fast.

Jaemin smiles and waves at the camera but doesn’t say anything as he starts to eat. His cheeks turning round and big. Mark can’t help but giggle as he zooms in on the younger. He expects him to roll his eyes and shove the camera away but he sends him a wink instead.

“You’re such a flirt,” Mark says as he does what Jaemin did yesterday and films both of them.

Jaemin smiles and gives his cheek a quick kiss instead. He’s kissed his cheeks many times before but Mark can’t help but blush. His stomach feels like its full of butterflies as he turns to stare at the younger who’s just as red as he is.

“I-” Jaemin doesn’t get out much more as the doorbell rings and Mark practically runs to get it. He’ll deal with his beating heart later.

The only holds the camera as he opens the door as he knows he can just edit this out if nothing good happens, but also he wants to continue filming in case Jaemin does something cute.

On the other side of the door there’s a red eyed Donghyuck. Mark hasn’t really thought of the younger as a real person in a couple of hours, he’d made him into this distant dream he had years ago so seeing him in his doorway sends shockwaves through him.

Neither of them say anything for awhile as Donghyuck sniffles. He gives Mark one last weak smile before he opens his mouth, “Mark I know I was dumb and mean but I really think we should get back together. We’ve been through so much together.”

He lets out a choked sob, “I’m so in love with you Mark I couldn’t even fall asleep last night. My chest hurt so much and all I could think about was how much I missed your arms around me.”

“Please Mark. One last chance?” Donghyuck is staring at his own feet as Mark takes the younger in. His hair is a mess and he’s wearing joggers and a hoodie.

Mark doesn’t even notice he’s crying until he feels a hand on his shoulder. He knows it’s not Hyuck’s. He can see it’s not him.

“Jaemin…” he sighs. The hand gives his shoulder a light squeeze.

“I’m sorry Hyuck but I think Mark needs a little time to think things over. Okay?” Jaemin says in the kindest voice he can but Donghyuck is already sobbing and won’t listen.

It’s not before Mark looks over at Jaemin that he knows what his answer is. Yes he’s going to miss being with Hyuck, and yes he loved the younger with all his heart, but now it’s not like that anymore.

Jaemin is the person who listened to him and understood him. Donghyuck could’ve been that a couple months ago, but not anymore. He takes a deep breath.

“I don’t think we should get back together,” Mark says in a firm tone. “We’re just together out of habit at this point and while it was a good habit for awhile I want something now.”

Donghyuck is crying. The camera picks up his sniffles from where it’s now resting on the little table in the hallway, but what it doesn’t pick up is Mark’s sniffles too.

It hurts. It physically hurts in his chest watching the love of his life cry. It hurts knowing he’s the reason he’s crying. And it hurts that he doesn’t want the younger back in his life anyway.

Jaemin gives his hand a tight squeeze, “I think it’s time you go home, Hyuck. Maybe call Jeno or Renjun or anybody to keep you company.” He gives Donghyuck a hug, “I know it’s tough but you’ll get over it.”

And with that Donghyuck leaves and Jaemin shuts the door before turning off the camera and taking Mark to his room for a quick nap.

The next time Mark films anything him and Jaemin have already decided to continue whatever they have between them. It’s so different from how he felt with Donghyuck Mark can’t even believe he ever thought he’d spend the rest of his life with him.

While Donghyuck would nag Mark for cuddles Jaemin doesn’t even have to say anything and Mark has his arms around him, just like now.

He’s trying to film Jaemin as he sleeps but it’s hard when Jaemin won’t let go of him so he can get the perfect angles but it doesn’t matter much. Jaemin is perfect in every angle.

“Are you trying to film a sextape Mark Lee?” Jaemin says with a grin. His voice groggy and laced with sleep.

Mark giggles, “already did that baby.” He winks. Jaemin only giggles back before sitting up.

His hair is a mess and he has red lines on his cheek from Mark’s tee but Mark is sure he’s never seen anything more beautiful. Jaemin smiles softly as he stretches and looks straight into Mark’s camera.

The camera catches the shimmers in his eyes and the way he throws Mark a quick glance too, but Mark doesn’t. Not that it matters anyway, he can always stare into the youngers eyes.

“You’re shirtless,” Mark comments dumbly when the duvet falls down showing his exposed skin. It’s as time slows as Jaemin turns to him and smiles into the camera. Mark’s breath gets caught in his throat, Jaemin is truly beautiful.

“Completely naked actually. Kinda sad you don’t remember, but you know. You date an idiot. You have to be ready for the idiot to be idiotic.” Jaemin cackles as Mark wrestles him down onto the bed. He’d thrown the camera on one of the pillows, praying in the back of his mind that it won’t get hurt.

He pins his arms above his head and growls down at the younger, “I’m not an idiot!”

The camera slides down the pillow a little bit but neither of them pay it any mind. Jaemin has this grin on his face. Jeno used to call it his shit eating grin and now Mark understands why. He smiles like that whenever he gets exactly the reaction he wants.

“Prove it then… idiot.” Jaemin’s voice drops several octaves and Mark can’t hold back any longer.

Jaemin’s lips are soft when he dips down and connects their lips but it isn’t long until the kiss turns rough. Mark is still holding Jaemin’s hands above his head but has half he mind to reach over and turn off the camera before they continue.

The next couple of shots are just Jaemin being Jaemin. Jaemin stuffing an entire ice cream down his throat, complete deepthroat style because I wanted to see if he could do it. Jaemin somehow getting stuck in the rosebush in the local park.

Jaemin tanning on the beach. A pout ever so clear on his cute lips. Mark can’t help but lean down and give him a quick peck. He zooms in on the way Jaemin’s lips stretch into a smile and ends the shot.

Jisung turns on the camera while Mark and Jaemin are making pizza, thinking it’s too cute to miss out on. They had promised not to talk about relationships when the four of them had agreed on hanging out, so instead of talking about it Jisung films it.

He isn’t alone either, Chenle is hanging on his shoulder looking through the lens just like him as they film the pair. Mark has his arms thrown around Jaemin’s waist as the younger does all the work.

Sometimes he gives his neck small pecks or even playful bites making Jaemin shiver and whine, but he never stops him.

It’s weirdly normal to see the two of them together. When they’d first told them they were together Jisung was sure it would be weird to see them being all coupley but they’re so happy it carries over to the rest of them.

“Do you guys want to help put on stuff?” Jaemin looks up at them where they’re standing half hiding behind the wall. Jisung quickly shuts off the camera and puts it on the closest table before joining them in dressing the pizza. Chenle right beside him.

There’s some more shots of Jaemin living his sweet life. Even some shots of Mark, most of them when he decides to surprise Jaemin with kisses.

Mark feels bad when he films Jaemin fighting with Jeno and Renjun again but he knows Jaemin doesn’t mind. Jaemin had even told him to do so he could forever remember how annoying they were in the end .

Jaemin is picking up some of his stuff from Jeno’s house and while Mark pretends he can’t hear them he can. He hears Renjun and Jeno begging to have Jaemin back clear as day. He hears Jaemin decline even clearer.

He thought he’d feel anxious or scared seeing Jaemin’s exes begging for him to come back to them but somehow he doesn’t. Maybe because he knows Jaemin would never leave him. Or at least not yet.

Or maybe because deep down he knows Jaemin loves him.

Mark shuts the camera off when Jaemin is comfortable seated in his car and they’ve shared a kiss. Neither of them noticing Jeno and Renjun crying, only the camera catches that.

“So we have an announcement,” Chenle’s voice carries through the room. He’s filming Mark and Jaemin once again. The two of them half asleep on the olders bed.

Jaemin doesn’t even care to open his eyes, only snuggling closer to Mark. They try and ignore the younger boys but neither of them will leave. Mark sucks up all the energy he has and asks a quick “what.”

“Jisung and I are no longer friends,” Chenle sounds sad. Mark is sure he’s never seen Jaemin wake up faster in his whole life. Both of them gaping at the two.

Jisung rolls his eyes, “what he means is that we’re dating. Like kisses and shit you know.” He shrugs.

Jaemin splutters where he’s sitting beside Mark, for once in his life actually wearing a shirt. Even though Mark knows he’s not wearing anything else he’s proud of him for the upgrade.

“I… hate you… but I’m glad you’re happy,” Jaemin groans and falls back into bed. Mark immediately pulling him back in for cuddles.

“I’m happy for you both!” Mark says a little too loudly but they feel the sentiment anyway and if they notice him blushing out of embarrassment they don’t comment on it.

“Thanks,” Chenle beams, “you can go back to sleep now. It’s barely nine anyway,” he throws the camera at them, “goodnight lovebirds.” He sing songs as he leaves the room.

Neither Jaemin nor Mark comment that technically they’re lovebirds too as they fall back into a comfortable cuddle position. Jaemin spooning Mark because he discovered he likes being the little spoon.

“You should turn off the camera before the battery runs out,” Jaemin says, his eyes now half closed. Mark only huffs and turns it off.

Mark cringes when he sees Jaemin walking up to his house. He knows he has to tell him now, it’s why the camera is perched on the living room table. He just doesn’t want to hurt Jaemin’s feelings.

“Baby?” Marks heart hammers against his chest as Jaemin’s steps inside. His tan darker then the last time they saw each other, which was only yesterday. But it feels like forever to Mark, okay? Okay.

“Hey…” he says, pulling Jaemin in for a kiss. He kisses him a little too long and with a little too much passion but Jaemin doesn’t complain. A grin settling on his lips as they pull away.

“I’m just… gonna jump into the deep end here Jaemin.” He sees Jaemin gulp, his stomach twists, “I got into university. It’s only like 3 hours away but I know any distance sucks. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you immediately. It’s just that Hyuck didn’t take it well and I didn’t want you to leave me immediately because of it too.” He’s pacing back and forth in the living room now, a hand in his hair.

“I really like you Jaemin and I really hope this won’t make you break up with me. I know it’s your choice but I’m willing to try if you’re willing to try.” He feels his chest tighten when he looks over at Jaemin and he’s crying.

Not just a little bit either. There’s tears streaming down Jaemin’s face, but he’s smiling. Smiling is good. Right? Mark decides it good.

“No, please don’t cry.” Mark hurries back over and starts drying his tears, “I promise I’ll visit as much as I possibly can.”

Jaemin laughs, “you’re so fucking adorable and I’m so fucking whipped for you. You could move to Alaska Mark and I’d still want to date you.” He’s holding Mark’s face in his hands, it’s Mark’s turn to cry.

“So long distance?” He asks softly and Jaemin just kisses him. He takes that as a yes.

What the camera catches that night is the first piece Mark edits out, because while he promised to show his entire life in these videos he did not think his bare ass was part of that.

Jaemin doesn’t let Mark be alone for even a second the last week before he leaves. He’s constantly hanging around him. Most of Mark’s shots are now quick shots of them kissing, cuddling or doing other activities boyfriends do.

“So, you’re leaving tomorrow,” Jaemin smiles into the lens. It feels weird talking to a camera without Mark, but somehow he knows the older will cry when he sees it.

“I’ll miss you. Of course I will.” There’s a long silence. When Mark watches the video he recognises his own sleeping body beside Jaemin. He’s kinda shocked he didn’t wake up.

“I just wanted to say that you mean the world to me Mark Lee and while I know we haven’t been together that long, barely a month actually, I want you to know that…” Jaemin looks down to the side, right down at Mark, “that I love you.”

When Mark watches it for the first time he sobs and calls Jaemin to tell him he loves him too. The younger only laughs when Mark apologises later for calling at 5am on a school night.

“Yeah, I love you. And I’m pretty sure you love me too. Well yeah, uh good luck in class Mark. I know you’re going to kill it.” Jaemin grins. Mark once again struck by his beauty as he edits it.

“Bye baby.” The camera shuts off.

Mark gives the camera to Chenle as soon as it’s turned on. He makes sure to hug Jaemin as close as he can. Neither of them able to speak through their ugly tears.

They only kiss again and again and again. They’re sloppy and a little snotty but Mark doesn’t really care. They had talked about it on the way to the train station. Mark would come back down one weekend a month, so the next time they’re seeing each other is in three weeks. Three long weeks.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Jaemin croaks out once the train pulls up.

Mark only cries harder, “I’ll miss you too prince.”

When Jaemin beams up at him at the nickname his chest tightens. How the hell is he gonna survive without Jaemin around him 24/7.

“You have to go,” Chenle says. His voice so soft Mark isn’t sure he heard him right at first. He looks so apologetic but Mark gives him a weak smile and takes the camera.

“Thanks Chenle,” he ruffles his hair and gives Jisung a quick hug.

“Make sure or look after him okay? He’s sensitive.” He ignores the slap on his shoulder from Jaemin. Chenle and Jisung nod towards him.

“Bye. We’ll miss you.” They don’t cry but Mark can tell they’re holding it in for them.

The train conductor jumps out of the train and Mark hurries to give Jaemin one last kiss before jumping on the train. The door closes right behind him.

Jaemin waves at him until they can no longer see each other. Mark continues waving until he’s sure Jaemin won’t see him.

A little over a month ago he’d imagined this goodbye completely different. He’d imagined Jaemin being the last to show up. He’d imagined Donghyuck would kiss him goodbye and Renjun and Jeno would scold Jaemin for almost missing it.

He’d imagined all his high school friends there but he can’t imagine that now. It feels wrong to even think of all of them together, but he doesn’t feel sad about it either.

Maybe this is what was meant to happen all along. It must be since it feels so right.

He looks down on his phone, he has three hours left on his journey. His heart gives a squeeze at the lockscreen of Jaemin bundled in Mark’s duvet in the morning. He’ll miss it.

He already misses it.

Three weeks. He can do three weeks. He gets a text from Jaemin. A selfie in Mark’s hoodie on his own bed with the caption my own bed feels foreign at this point .

Mark only snorts. Yeah it’ll be hard but he knows it’s worth it. He shuts the camera off and gets comfortable in his seat.

———————

Three weeks later he runs into Jaemin’s arms, “I got an A!”

“Oh my god!” Jaemin kisses him.

He kisses back and holds him into his chest, “they said they were so moved they wanted to show it at this film festival but once they realised we weren’t actors and the uuuh fun times were real they decided to call it off.” Jaemin only laughs.

“My pornstar dreams are crushed.”

They laugh together and Mark can’t help but kiss Jaemin again.