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[Stinger]
S: The reason the Decepticons are evil is because they're trying to support their wives and children.
[Intro Music]
O: Welcome to the Afterspark Podcast! On today's episode we're gonna be talking about the one-shot crossover comic from IDW, Mars Attacks the Transformers!
S: This is going to be an experiment.
O: Yes! The Mars Attacks 1996 film was based on a trading card game from the 60’s. It was about some goofy looking aliens from Mars that invade Earth. The biggest thing you should take away from this if you haven't seen it is that--you should never, ever, ever , trust the aliens as they are complete and total bastards. Anyway these alien designs scared the shit out of me as a child, so on with the show! Or comic.
S: [laughs] On the cover we've got Optimus Prime and Megatron standing shoulder to shoulder firing on aliens as flying saucers destroy a city in the background, all against a burning sunset sky.
O: We open with Optimus whaling on Megatron, finally knocking him down and declaring the Autobots the victors. There is an amazing big panel of the victorious Autobots.
S: Bumblebee is sitting on Soundwave.
O: Ironhide has Starscream in a headlock.
S: Thundercracker is, uh...face-first through a skyscraper in the background.
O: We laughed so hard when we found that.
S: Um-hmm.
O: Grimlock is holding Ravage and his teeth. Kind of like a mama cat goes with her kittens? [laughs]
S: It’s adorable! But--and then Astrotrain is out cold on the ground, framed by Optimus Prime's magnificent thighs.
O: It's amazing! Speaking of the art, it is excellent in this!
S: By artist Matt Frank and colorist Josh Perez.
O: It's bright, it's colorful, it's expressive!
S: Everyone has a wonderfully emotive expressions and body language and you just know that they had a great time working on this.
O: I really hope they did, cuz it looks like they did.
S: Ah, I really hope so too.
O: And it really feels like it's the G1 cartoon, if the G1 cartoon was done well. Like they--like it was actually drawn well instead of extremely blocky.
S: And written well.
O: And written well, yes. With the just the Decepticons having been defeated they are led away into stasis cuffs never to be seen again, surely.
S: Megatron gets his own bed though.
O: Truck bed!
S: With his legs in stasis cuffs as well.
O: They really want to make sure he can't move--not that I blame them! This is a good plan.
S: It really is. And then Spike shows up, super excited about kicking some Decepticon keister.
O: An army general is a dick, making fun of Spike’s bright yellow rubber boots and yelling at poor Spike.
S: Poor kid. In the next panel we see a dejected Spike walking towards Bumblebee who appears to be attempting to cheer his buddy up because you know, Bumblebee is such a good Bumble-buddy.
O: [laughs] But as the general’s going on about the U, S, of A he is suddenly disintegrated.
S: A surprised Optimus looks into a sky that has suddenly been filled with flying saucers and Martians in jetpacks with laser guns, who are so down for demolishing the city.
O: Oh yes, and at the bottom of the page we get a panel of all the Autobots clustered together reacting to the ‘surprise’ aliens.
S: Some of these expressions are greatttt!
O: From Bumblebee’s confusion to Prowl’s dumbfounded shock, all of it is delightful. A ten out of ten.
S: Optimus is concerned about his Autobots being dragged into another battle with them still being so worn out from just defeating the Decepticons.
O: Ironhide’s relatively uncon--unconcerned about all of this though.
S: “They're tiny, what could they do?” to paraphrase Ironhide.
O: Very shortly, Ironhide learns that they can do quite a lot, as his arm is blown off by the aliens.
S: The framing for that--for that realization that his arm is gone is fantastic.
O: It is also great, yes. [laughs]
S: Optimus orders everyone to seek cover.
O: Cliffjumper gives Ironhide shit about his underestimation of small things.
S: Ironhide proceeds to bonk Cliffjumper on the head with his dismembered arm in retaliation.
O: Elsewhere Bumblebee and Spike are hiding in a partially demolished building.
S: Spike asks Bumblebee if he can understand the aliens and wants to know what they're saying.
O: What are they saying, you may ask? Well, they're saying, “Surrender now or we shall do unspeakable things to your faces and your pets.”
S: Bumblebee’s expression as he listens to this and replies to Spike saying, “Nothing good,” is amazingly disgusted.
O: [laughs] Because he can, in fact, understand the aliens. The alien fire hits the vehicles hauling the Decepticons which, frees them...of course.
S: Somehow getting thrown off the trucks breaks um, Megatron's stasis cuffs and I guess that ends up--I don't know, all the other stasis cuffs end up being broken too?
O: I--I think it broke Megatron's and, I want to say [either] Thundercracker or Skywarp’s? Um, and they both broke everybody else out, I think.
S: That would make sense, yeah.
O: Also, we see that Megatron's Fusion Cannon has its own trailer hooked up to Megatron's and Soundwave is also on a separate truck. Probably safe to say all the Cons had their own at this point, but the separate one for the Fusion Cannon really amused me.
S: Um-hmm. It’s like, gotta keep ‘em together, but you gotta--
O: You gotta keep them together and then I still stand by, maybe hand the Fusion Cannon off to the Autobots who hopefully will know how to handle this black hole generator!?! It's not a black hole generator, but black holes are involved somehow--I'm just saying, I don't know if I trust the army with that!
S: Yeah, it draws its power from a black hole or something.
O: Yeah. By the way that's from the G1 comics and I was reading the comics, and was like, “Wait a minute! You're telling me they didn't pull this out of nowhere!?!” [Referencing IDW’s MTMTE run, which had Megatron himself using black holes during the Dying in the Light arc.]
S: Nope, nope, that’s been there from the beginning, it’s so weird.
O: It is very weird!
S: With the Decepticons freed they seem about as disturbed about the alien menace going on as the Autobots are.
O: Megatron seizes an opportunity to speak to the Martians, much to Starscream's consternation.
S: And to the surprise of literally all the other Decepticons, Megatron asks to be taken to the Martians’ leader. Just looking at Soundwave’s and Starscream's faces here, they are so not down for this. They were expecting crushing.
O: Why crush when you can be a conniving bastard instead? [laughs]
S: Everyone just wants to double-cross each other here.
O: I told you, don’t trust these aliens.
S: Which makes me wonder by the Autobots freaking trust the Decepticons anytime Megatron challenges them to a thing!
O: I don't know! Uh, meeting with the Martian leader Megatron offers a deal. They'll work together so they can wipe out the Autobots otherwise the Martians will have to fight with both factions.
S: Soundwave attempts to correct the aliens‘ vocabulary without success as Megatron waves him off.
O: The aliens are calling the Cybertronians ‘machine men’.
S: And Soundwave just likes his accuracy, which I can't blame them for.
O: Me neither.
S: The Martians agree to this deal..
O: Never mind that as I've said, you should never trust either of these parties.
S: The Autobots prepare fight back and poor Optimus is wondering how the hell Megatron got here.
O: Last he saw, he was being taken away and now he’s on the other side of the battlefield, again.
S: It’s like, “Whyyyyyyyyy!?!”
O: [laughs] It’s just like, if my problems could stop piling up today that would be great . Megatron proceeds to look like a snarky ass bastard as the Decepticons look ready to throw down.
S: Particularly Astrotrain, who's like, I need, to give someone some payback.
O: Megatron orders an attack while mocking Prime's tendency to spout sanctimonious speeches before and during fights.
S: And then we got another great panel of the Autobots and Decepticons fighting.
O: Starscream is panicking in the background as Grimlock seems to be lunging at him in a vaguely ready to eat him kind of way.
S: Megatron and Optimus are clashing in the mid-ground.
O: And Bee is shooting at Astrotrain, while Ravage lunges at him from below.
S: And then Ironhide and Soundwave are facing off in the foreground and it's just very nice organization.
O: It is, like very good job, very um, good composition.
S: Yes.
O: Clear what's going on and it looks interesting. Also-- Face-Off!
B: [laughing]
S: The Martians trapped the Cybertronians in a green, glowy force field doohickey thing betraying the Decepticons.
O: As I was saying earlier, never trust these aliens!
S: They're all conniving and they're all planning on backstabbing each other. Except the Autobots, the Autobots are the upstanding, sanctimonious ones.
O: Apparently!
S: Megatron is enraged, how dare they betray him!?!
O: Pot, meet kettle. [laughs]
S: And then Cliffjumper’s reaction is pure perfection here.
O: His dialogue, his deadpan expression.
S: His positioning. He's just--he looks like the peanut gallery. He's like right underneath Megatron, looking up at him.
O: As he says, “You know for someone with a name like the Decepticons, you think you would have seen this coming.”
S: You really would, you’d think so.
O: It's great. As the aliens walk away we are treated to another entertaining panel this time with Optimus telling Megatron they will need to work together to get out of this.
S: Prowl and Starscream are standing, well ok, so the way there actually posed: Megatron and Optimus are in the background with their backs towards us and Starscream and Prowl are in the foreground. So, Prowl and Starscream stand behind their respective leaders with great uncomfortable expressions, as they attempt to tune out to this awkward but very necessary conversation.
O: Megatron reluctantly agrees with Optimus’s assessment of the situation, and orders Blaster over.
S: Blaster seems pretty game for this plan! Despite, you know, being ordered by Megatron. A plan that involves him and Soundwave combining their, you know, assorted sound abilities in an attempt to break the force field.
O: We also get some more Bumblebee sass as he takes issue with Megatron's bad attitude--some Bumble-sass if you will.
S: Blaster and Soundwave’s synced abilities do take down the force field with the combined forces of the Autobots and Decepticons charging to meet the Martians.
O: Megatron has some of his signature dialogue about the “Might of Megatron!”
S: Cliffjumper and Thundercracker share a moment commenting on Megatron's ego and then the aliens retaliate by shooting Megatron with a shrink-ray. And we quote, [in an alien voice] “I have shrunk your master to the size of a small girl's plaything.”
O: So I think Megatron is even smaller than a human here and it is amazing . [laughs]
S: Um-hm, because you can see like a crushed coke can beside him?
O: In like--yeah, and so it looks like he's-he's about, yeah toy size. We-we had jokingly said we think he's about the size of the Masterpiece toy? Which was funny, because I had gotten that like, the day we were scripting. So it's just like--oh my god that's amazing!
S: Yep, yep. The lead Martian begins monologuing but tiny Megatron shoots him through the head with his tiny Fusion Cannon.
O: Proving that even ridiculously small Megatron is a stone-cold badass.
S: Awkward team-ups abound as the Autobots and Decepticons fight against the Martians side-by-side.
O: Cats and dogs--living together!
S: In harmony.
O: [laughs]
S: Except not.
O: To a point. Uh, next we see Starscream do an incredibly Starscream thing.
S: That thing that we see him do every other episode. He tells Megatron he's going to crush him and take his rightful place as leader of the Decepticons.
O: Megatron's face here is fucking amazing by the way. He looks so, so done. Like, Starscream, really, you're really going to do this right now? [laughs]
S: And then Megatron pounces on Starscream's face. He just--Starscream leaned down to--
O: To like, tell him this.
S: To deliver it directly to his face and Megatron's like, [evil laugh] pounce! Right on his face, leading to Starscream running around in the next panel screaming, “Get him off! Get him off!” With poor Soundwave following behind having reversed the shrink ray to attempt to get Megatron back to normal size.
O: Elsewhere, the aliens had been enlarged some ants that are ready to attack Jazz and Ironhide.
S: I don't really know why the ants would have been ready to attack Jazz and Ironhide? I mean since they’re just normal ants honestly, they probably should have collapsed dying due to lack of oxygen. Uh, but yeah.
O: Then it's the Insecticons to the rescue as they transform into their insect alts to challenge the ants, who flee.
S: Because apparently...the ants have sense of self-preservation about giant metal bugs.
O: More so than the Martians do right now.
S: Yeah. Next we see Spike standing in a puddle of water coming from a broken fire hydrant surrounded by Martians who are ready to fire on him. A loose electric line hits the puddle, frying the aliens but leaves Spike perfectly fine due to his rubber boots.
O: He exclaims, “Yeah, in your face general!”
S: Take that, dead dude!
O: [laughs] Indeed!
S: Spike gets the last laugh.
O: He does.
S: The Martians begin to board the ships, ready to fire on the Cybertronian forces but our deus ex Cosmos emerges from the sunset and blows them all up.
O: [squeals] My baby! My baby spaceship, I love him so much and we haven't got to see him in the show, but I got to see him with this. He was the deus ex machina and I loved it.
B: [laughing]
S: He has a very convenient alt mode for this.
O: Yes, like Prowl even comments on like, he hadn’t seen the point of his alt mode before now--which was also pretty great.
S: Um-hm. Optimus and Megatron are shaking hands as the comic ends. Optimus giving a very in character motivational speech about cooperation before pausing and asking Megatron, “You're just going to go back to trying to kill us aren't you?” To which Megatron replies, “Absolutely!”
O: It’s very in character.
S: It is, it is.
O: So, what's our verdict about this special? For me, it was very well done. It feels like such a good homage to G1, has a lot of the humor and silliness that I get when I watch the cartoon but in comic form.
S: It was campy and it didn't take itself too seriously, and it's a good addition to the franchise. Pairs well with the G1 cartoon and the Marvel Comics.
O: The art was excellent, I know we've mentioned that multiple times but seriously. Uh, I-I adored the characterizations uh, everybody was written in a way that like, it felt like them but enjoyably them.
S: Yup, and Josh Perez's color work is always lovely to see.
O: And we both really enjoyed it. We certainly recommend it to you if you enjoy kind of campy Transformers media as well. We will post a link for the comic itself as it is sold online by IDW for about two bucks and it is a one-shot, so you only need the one issue.
S: You don't need to have previously seen the Mars Attacks movie for this to enjoy it because it's perfectly enjoyable on its own, and I mean, I haven't seen the movie or--actually any of the other uh, previous Mars Attacks, uh--
O: Stuff?
S: Media? Stuff, yeah. And I read through this without issue it was--it was great.
O: I actually have seen the movie. I'm not very fond of the movie (sorry movie fans!) Um, it was nice to have a background on just how much of a dick these aliens are um, within that context, but it’s really not required. And that's all for us today, thank you so much for listening! Hopefully this was enjoyable, as we said--we really enjoyed this comic and we want to try to do things like this when we kind of come to milestones. In this case we finished season one. Um, and let us know what you think! Join us next time as we will begin season 2 with, “Autobot Spike.” Did someone say Frankenstein?
S: Um-hm, and that just about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube just to name a few. Until next time, I'm Specs!
O: And I’m Owls!
S: Toodles!
[Outro Music]