Chapter Text
The night was quiet as her feet stamped lightly over the grass. For a summer night, it was cool, almost cold. There was already dew on the ground, collecting on the toes of her boots. Emma shifted in the unfamiliar clothes… clothes made specifically for children to die in… and that was fine. This is where Emma intended to be.
"I'm proud of you, Emma," Isabella said softly, holding the empty suitcase in her hand.
She stared ahead, ignoring that woman beside her. She thinks I'll become a mom… She counted each step as she walked forward, over the grass she knew since childhood towards the gate she'd walked into only once. And would walk into only twice…
I won't become a mom, she thought, feeling empty from the inside out. I'll die where Norman did.
It was her birthday today, at last reaching the age of twelve… the youngest under her now five, because of the thirteen who'd escaped on January 15th. They'd been able to make it… Don and Gilda and the rest had done remarkably, from what she could tell. They'd made it, escaping the clutches of Isabella and the demons, and the gruesome death which Emma was now marching towards.
She hesitated, sick welling up in her stomach. No, not gruesome… not nearly as much as…
Feeling as though she wanted to vomit, Emma pressed a hand to her mouth, squeezing her eyes shut, willing away the memory. It didn't work. The chill of the night felt hot, like the flames licking her face all over again. Like the screams shared between her and Ray… She was sure she was going to be sick…
"Bye bye, Emma…" She heard his last words in her head so vividly, so clear it was as if he were standing beside her once more.
"No, Ray!" she screamed, but she was too late. The match slipped through her fingers at the same time as she pushed Ray back, trying with all her might to push save him. She'd failed. The fire burst from the kerosene on the ground, filling her world with pain as she fell to the ground, caching herself in the puddle on her arms.
It hurts! was all she'd been able to think. It hurts, Ray!
But everything around her was in flames. Everything was burning… and she couldn't see Ray…
"Ray!" She cried with all her might, her voice hurting her own ears. "RAY!"
There was no answer but the flames around her, burning her alive.
Suddenly she was lifted from the firey hell… someone was patting her down with cloth. It hurts…! It hurts so bad!
"Where's Ray, Emma?!" Isabella's voice entered her abyss of torture. She couldn't answer, her whole body was screaming in agony.
I don't know, I don't know! I can't see him! I don't know where he is!
Isabella had pulled her from the house, the grass cool against her. She was still crying, wailing as the pain overtook her senses. She couldn't see, everything was red. Everything was flames. Not even the cool dew could calm it.
"Mama, Mama…" she cried after it hurt too bad to scream, her mind refusing to function. "Mama…"
What she did feel was a small hand on her face, a drop of moisture falling on her cheek. In a brief moment of lucidity, she cracked her eyes to see the weeping face above her, curled in on himself as he did everything he could to take her pain.
Phil…
"Emma," he hiccuped. "They're gone. They had to go without you…"
She felt her soul tremble in fear, remembering what this night was meant to be. Escape. Freedom. She should've been up on that wall with all of them… with Ray… following Norman's plan he'd given them posthumously. She should've been leading her younger siblings to a new future… she should've been able t save Ray…
Emma shut her eyes again, leaning her face into Phil's hand, weeping anew. "Phil… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Phil…"
Ray is… Ray… he's dead… "It's all my fault…"
Emma didn't remember much else from that night. She remembered she wished she could've held Phil as he'd cried… but her arms were useless and damaged beyond recognition. She tugged at the sleeve of her shipment clothes, knowing they covered the marred skin of her arms. She could move them now, but the nerve damage made them more numb to the touch now, tingling strangely. Isabella had told her she'd been lucky, it could've been far worse.
Not that it matters, she thought coldly. I'm going to die now anyway.
The approached the gate finally, the bars lifting to given them access. Emma's mind flashed to that first time, the last night before the world she knew had shattered, when she and Norman had run to the gate to give Conny back her beloved toy… She remembered the fear she'd felt, the dread, the despair at finding their little sister like that. The sickening, shattering turmoil at seeing their Mom's involvement in it all… she could almost feel the scratchiness in her throat from weeping as Norman had held her, whispering to her plans of escape...
She let out a long breath, figuring it was fitting… to die here where it all started, as Norman had. Shut her eyes, readying herself. I'll be with my best friends again… just a few more minutes...
But… It's my fault Ray died… she trembled at the thought as Isabella led her forward. Norman told me what he'd been planning… and I still couldn't stop him…
Ice filled her veins as the behemoth like demon appeared from the shadows, beside him an elderly woman dressed in black.
How can I face them? How can I face Ray, when I should've saved him… How can I face Norman after he gave me this charge?
Emma hesiated, feeling herself begin to tremble.
"You're aware of the choice you must make here, aren't you Emma?" the old woman asked, her voice cold and sneering.
Emma blinked at her, feeling like it was hard to breathe as her throat closed around itself, fear not of the demon and that flower… but of the shame to come… I- I can't…!
"Well?" she said impatiently, practically licking her lips to witness a bloodbath.
"Emma," Isabella said sternly.
Emma looked back to her, feeling so small. "I- Mama…" she whispered. "I can't- I can't die…"
Isabella smiled at that, leaning down as touched Emma's hair, cradling her by the ear. Tenderly, the woman brought her into her arms, hugging her with as much warmth as Emma could remember growing up with everyday, never once doubting her until the truth was revealed.
"I hope you can find peace one day, my sweet Emma," she whispered quietly, as if she were trying to keep it private between the two of them. "If there was any other way, Emma…"
She didn't finish what she was saying, leaving the words to hang in the air between them.
Instead of continuing, she hugged her just a bit tighter. "I love you very much, Emma. Please believe that."
When she pulled away, Emma could see the sorrow in her eyes as she looked at her. Her violet burned through her with the truth of her words. She meant it in every way that she could. I'm sorry, for everything, for Norman and Ray… for every sibling you've lost… I'm sorry… Emma could feel her words through her gaze. This woman who was unbreakable, showed to her this fragility in this moment. How much she'd lost, how much she'd hurt, how much she'd loved. Emma didn't want this path, but she chosen it anyway… following in the footsteps of Isabella.
"Okay, Mama," she whispered, feeling her eyes fill with tears, threatening to overflow.
Isabella smiled gently, touching her cheek once more before pulling her hand away once more. "Work hard."
Emma nodded, her eyes wide as a single drop fell down to her chin. Then she felt a cold and boney hand take hers. She glanced at the old woman, her smile horrifying as it stretched her mouth wide. Her heart stuttered as the woman began to pull her away and she looked back to the only mother she'd ever known.
"I wish this wasn't the way," Isabella had admitted to her before as she'd shut the door to the newly-built house, the words coming back to Emma's mind as she watched her mother wave goodbye. "But I believe you of all people will be able to make the most of it, Emma."
The truck was louder than Emma would've guessed, making her jump at the demon turned the ignition. Soon she'd be at headquarters… soon she'd become a sister, and maybe a mom. Her hands shook as she clenched them together. She knew she was running away, and she hated herself for it. Am I a coward? The answer was yes. She knew that. With all her heart, she longed to see those two… her heard hurt as whenever she remembered them.
But I let them down…
So now she ran, deep into the heart of the world she'd meant to flee from. Emma leaned against the window of the truck, shutting her eyes against the darkness of the tunnel, accepting this decision she'd made.
...I have nothing else to lose.