Chapter Text
Luo Binghe died of being poisoned by one of his harem member after fucking. A way to die. So that's why polygamy stuff didn't work in the modern era huh, he should've realized that the first time. But at least when he wakes up, he was greeted by probably the most beautiful cold face he has ever seen. That sneer and frown is also perfect. Absolutely Luo Binghe's type. Though she seems to be flat...
"You've awaken. Mortal."
Oh, she's a he. Besides Luo Binghe's dead, he shouldn't be adding more lust to his list of sins. Is this where he's going to get judged wether he can or can't go to heaven? "Don't even have the slightest hope someone like you can go to heaven. You checked out all of the seven deadly sins in your whole life."
Uh, Oops? At least be a little sympathetic about it? Don't give him such a nasty stare? He's not really that much of a disgusting person. It's just his past that sucks.
The celestial looking human huffed, before bringing his fan closer to his face, "That is unless you want to reincarnate and try to defeat the Demon Lord, whatever, yeah reincarnation exists."
Luo Binghe blinked. Is this even legal? If heaven even have a rule? Who is this person anyway? "Can I at least know who you are first before answering that? You know me but I don't know anything about you."
That person scoffed, cute. He bring his fan more closer to his face so that it covers his face up until his eyes, which narrowed. "I am Shen Qingqiu, the god of intelligence and art. That is all you need to know. Now do you want to reincarnate or not? I don't have all day."
Well, at least Luo Binghe has all day to stare at that face. "Who would willingly go to hell? I'll reincarnate. So I'm going to defeat that Demon Lord whoever?"
Shen Qingqiu nodded, though that frown never seem to leave his face. "You may also bring whatever you want there. A cursed sacred sword. Maiden. Fictional characters. Whoever, whatever. Just make it quick"
... anything then? He smirked, "Then you. I want to bring you with me." And finally the frown disappeared from that face, a shock and disbelief replacing it instead.
"Me?! That, that's not -- you can't do that!!!" There goes his lofty immortal aura he gave earlier. At least he's cuter this way. "You'll be too overpowered! I'm very powerful you can't bring me like this!!!"
Didn't he say Luo Binghe can even bring fictional character? He can even bring the most overpowered harem protagonist then if he really want, so why not bring a cute god instead? "Say anything you fucking bastard! Take it fucking back!!!" Nope. Not gonna do it. Just as Shen Qingqiu trashed and screamed around, another person (god?) came behind them with a small cough.
"Shen-shixiong a rule is a rule." The god's skin was already pale, but turns out it can get even more pale. "Shang Qinghua you son of a ---!! This is not in the fucking rules they can't just take a god with them?!!"
Shang Qinghua, that new comer who also shares the name Qing only smiled, yet he also looked scared of Shen Qingqiu at the same time. "Don't worry shixiong, zhangmeng-shixiong won't let you live miserably! Also the rule said reincarnations can take whatever they want, god and demon included..."
When the god of intelligence and art hissed Shang Qinghua only twitched and run to hide behind that chair Shen Qingqiu sat earlier. Huh, that image of him earlier and now is actually very different it's cute. Is this what they called gap moe? "I'm sorry shixiong but that's how it is! I can't stop it! Uh, also, please refrain using your god name unless you want your own follower stop following you! Also don't worry, you'll come back after the two of you defeated the Demon Lord!!" When Shang Qinghua said that, a light starts to cover his and Shen Qingqiu's body. Huh, looks like they're about to reincarnate.
"Shut the fuck up, I know that!" The cold beauty is still screaming, before he looks back to glare at Luo Binghe. "You. This is all your fucking fault. I swear I won't make your reincarnation life easy..."
Huh. A god can be revengeful. "But how will you go back? Unless you want to stay with me forever?" He scrunch up his face and started to spew of curses everywhere. Hah. Worth it.
Though this just made him less motivated to even defeat the Demon Lord. Oh well, let's just see how this would go.
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"Shen Jiu." Luo Binghe blinked at the sudden statement, the god himself hasn't talked for a solid five minutes since he's probably still upset with the whole thing. Shen Jiu, he's not allowed to use his real "god" name right? So that's what he's supposed to call him now?
"Jiujiu?"
The scowl and red face he got is so worth all of this dying business. The god has changed from his flowy immortal like robes to more of a practical looking one, as if he's ready to fight the Demon Lord straight on. Also, robes? Are they in ancient Chinese settings? He thought the world would be more Western. Guess not. Also his t-shirt and jeans were poof, gone, replaced with plain old robes. Unlike Shen Jiu's rich looking robes...
"I swear if you call me that I will make sure your life in hell is worse than mortals described..." Threats like that won't work dearest Jiujiu, Luo Binghe let a fake sigh out. "Then how about I call you shizun? Please take care of me until we defeated the Demon Lord, shizun~"
Shen Jiu didn't seem to hate the title, though it's clear he disliked the tone he used to say it. "Whatever. Brat. First off we need to register to the guild and earn your stats."
Earn? What? Wait, he did say this world is like rpg, so maybe it's like registering your account before playing kind of stuff? The two of them began to walk, with shizun in front because hell he doesn't let Luo Binghe to even walk side to side by him. His god ego is real. They followed the path towards a huge ancient looking building, is this the guild?
Entering the building, they were greeted by a busty woman with her baggage almost popping out of her already loose robe. You're interested being in his harem or what? "Greetings. I see that the two of you are new... Do you want to register?"
Well. Potential harem later, satisfying this god's whim first. But it's not like Luo Binghe has a choice in this as Shen Jiu was the one that replied, "Yes. Make it quick."
"Well, this way please, also since apparently this is not common knowledge, do the two of you had the registration fee?"
Fees? Do they have money? Shizun? He himself looked pale. Great they don't have any money. Fine, time for his look to help him here. With his ever huge confidence, he take the busty woman's hand and kissed it. "Well miss, we actually have a little problem. Shizun and I --" The man in green himself snorted, "we ran away from our families, they are not the nicest person around, so we have no... Funds at the moment. If you'll let us be an adventurer, we would very, very appreciate it."
Swoon, goes the maiden heart. Ha. He knew he can use his look to get what he wanted, anytime and every time he wanted to. Blushing, the busty woman hurriedly take something out of the drawer, revealing two cards. "This, the two of you may continue on the registration process." She coughed, trying to remain her dignity even though Luo Binghe knew she's an easy woman now. "This card will record your progress, you may also learn skills from this card. For now, the two of you should put your hand on this crystal, for the man with black robes if you may..."
Your intention is fucking obvious. Both Shen Jiu and Luo Binghe thought at the same time. Seriously, women. But since Luo Binghe is the one who started it, and also who is he anyway to refuse a woman? So he smiled and walked slowly to the crystal, the woman cheerily take his hand to the crystal.
Shen Jiu, in the background, wish he could go to hell even if he's a god himself. Why did he got dragged to this world again? Oh, yeah, because of that stupid son of bitch that is clearly horny 24/7.
After the crystal finished scanning, Luo Binghe has a huge confidence he got good stats. His previous life is the survival to the fittest after all, if he doesn't have strength he might as well died of a different cause.
The card finished printing his stats and he just stare at it. Is this good stats or what? "This... I haven't heard of anyone starting with this much strength... This compares to a high level barbarian!"
Oh. That's good to hear. Though barbarian sounds a bit too brainless. He sneaked a smile at Shen Jiu, who only frowned further. Shouldn't he at least be happy? Since Luo Binghe actually had a chance defeating the Demon Lord in such a short time? Oh well. Next he need to choose his class right? "I think I'll be a swordsman."
Typical classic strong classes. Why not. Shen Jiu didn't care and wouldn't care, so he just walked towards the crystal and walked back as fast as he walked in. How's his stats? He said he's strong tot the point Luo Binghe would be "overpowered" but is that really the case?
"Your magic, it's incredibly high! It's high enough that you can increase your low strength!" There's a slight twitch when the woman mentioned low strength and Luo Binghe snorted. Perfect.
"Beside your strength, your luck is also quite low... Almost non-existent... But not to worry, luck is irrelevant in battle!" But it's relevant in everyday life, good luck living with that shizun. Speaking of which, his luck is also incredibly high, like his strength. That troublesome "halo" came back, didn't it? Must you follow him even in his second life?
"I'll be a fucking scholar. Get on with it."
"Y-yes sir!" This god has a thing with bullying mortals didn't he? Oh well, he can do whatever he want, Luo Binghe will do whatever he wanted.
He honestly can't wait with what the fate has for him. For now, they should begin with a normal first time quest then...?
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"You fucking stupid little piece of humongous toad!!!" His perfect human, or god, whatever, should learn how to spoke more... Dignified. Like the actual god he is. But he just loves swear words too much isn't he?
It's not that Luo Binghe mind, but he thought Shen Jiu would have a thin face and get easily embarrassed by all of this. Turns out he's not when he's tired and ready to blow up.
Also Luo Binghe is pretty shameless, so he'll admit that Shen Jiu fighting that toad alone, screaming, and already drenched in that weird liquid, it's kind of hot.
It is fucking hot. Don't kink shame him. He's just a man with needs that appreciate beauties, especially the cold type of beauties.
But anyway, they were forced to go on a normal fetch this item from this mob kind of quest since they needed money to buy equipment. Proper, equipments, not like these stupid wooden sticks. Even with high stats Luo Binghe doubt he can kill those toads.
At least he can kill them when they were busy eating. And his perfect plan is for Shen Jiu, his sweet bitter shizun, to get trapped by it. Hey, they have defeated three toads at least!
"Luo Binghe you brat!! I swear after this I'm going to make sure you sleep on the stables and right next to a horse's shit you --" The word was cut as the toad manages to catch him in his mouth. Incoherent screams were heard afterwards and Luo Binghe really tried to not laugh at it.
"Don't worry shizun, after this we can live in luxury and go and grand quests! For now," He can't resist laughing, so he did that so before continuing, there's an obvious displeased shouts that were heard, "You just need to bear getting all slimy!"
And at last, he attacked the toad with the stick like some sort of a hero wannabe, and after a few hit, the toad slouched and just lie there on the ground, dead. Alright that's four toads. Shen Jiu with his ever furious mood clawed his way out and looked more slimy than previously. His poor expensive robes.
"You're going to deal with the last one you fucking little piece of shit." He emphasize with spitting right at him. It only hit his shoe, so eh. "But shizun if we both came back all slimy people will think what they shouldn't think, don't you agree?"
"I don't care you --" His plan to distract Shen Jiu so that another toad can take care of him worked. This time he let his laugh out freely, while teasing Shen Jiu, "Don't worry shizun we won't have these kind of quests in the future."
But Binghe won't say no to quest that possibly involve shizun being all sexy though.
.
"You're sleeping in the damn stables." Shen Jiu said as he hoard all the gold and leave the guild with a bang. Literally so loud that the whole guild become silent, staring at the door, before staring at poor Luo Binghe.
Oh well, he kind of deserves this. But it's not like he wanted to sleep in the stable, so why not use his looks to his advantage again? The second time of this day? Where was that guild lady who has huge chest like they were in some sort of anime, oh, there she is. Already approaching him.
"Um, young master Luo, if you had nowhere to sleep then… uh…"
Of course he doesn't have a place to sleep. He doesn't want to sleep next to a horse's shit, thank you. He would rather have a one night stand rather than that. And so he followed the lady to what presumably, an inn. Let's just hope this wouldn't ended up with his head on the floor, separated from his body.
But then again, the lady seems kind enough. And somehow there's a rule in anime that big breasted females, the humongous one, are usually the nice ones.
Luckily he actually made it to the morning. After taking a shower and made a note to buy more clothes, or uh, a robe, he walks to the lady that he already taken a bite off who was rubbing an amulet in her hand.
"Is that…?" He remembered seeing that design in one of shizun's pendant, but instead of his greens and bamboos, hers has lilies and purples in it. "Ah, young master Luo isn't from Cang Qiong region? In here, we have twelve gods that protected our lands, and I am from the Xian Shu sect, I serve for my goddess, the goddess of marriage and beauty, Qingqi."
So that amulet mean she's part of the Xian Shu sect? Interesting… But what about the sect that worship his shizun? And after thinking about it… Can he join? That would be fun, shizun might think he's messing with him but that just adds the fun.
"Say, do you know much about the other gods?"
She blinked, before looking a bit sheepish, "I'm sorry young master Luo, but my knowledge of them are limited. But one that I do know of, is the god of justice and peace, Qingyuan. He's the elder god of the twelve, and he's the one that keep the peace in the land… just like his title."
That's shizun's boss? He sounds… like... Oh well, he need to meet with shizun early this morning, or he'll throw into a fit or something. Beside, all of Luo Binghe's money is in him…
.
"I've spend it all." Luo Binghe blinked at this perfect face who sat in front of him. He couldn't actually be that cruel, right? Right?? One look at his new equipments and expensive breakfast, Luo Binghe wanted a refund. Dear god Qingyuan, you're supposed to be the justice god right? Please take care of your subordinate here…
Guess beauty literally came with a price. Luo Binghe is kind of tired whoring himself in front of women now, okay shizun? Don't just ignore him and continue on eating your breakfast? How do your slim body even able to handle those heavy stuff??
"Shizun, I contributed to defeating those toads right? So… my share?"
"I'm the one that did all the hard work you goddamn brat."
"But shizun! If I wasn't there you would have been vored!"
Shen Jiu only raised his eyebrow, obviously not knowing what vore is. Good, stay away from the thing called internet shizun, anyway his money --
"We, Bai Zhan people are not brainless maniac thank you, you Qing Jings are the one that are so entitled and always looking down on others!" Bai Zhan and Qing Jing? Are those sects, just like Xian Shu? He look towards his shizun to find that answer, only to find him frowning and looking like he wanted to murder that boy. Or Binghe. Who knows, maybe he actually wanted to murder Binghe instead.
"Excuse me? That just prove how brainless you people are by saying we are entitled!" Say the boy who was being shouted at earlier, even though he looked like he's actually entitled though.
"Ming-shixiong, Yang Yixuan, that's enough. We're in Qiong Ding territory and we all know how much they hate other sects proving they are better than the others!" At least that girl with braids seems sensible enough. Who's Qiong Ding's god again? He only know three gods at the moment, oh, four with that god who calls shizun "shixiong".
"Who cares about those Qiong Ding who are secretly a doormat? Dominant? What a joke. Also you from Bai Zhan. By shouting so that all the people in this building can hear what you're talking about just proves that you are, infact, are a brainless idiot. Maybe the whole Bai Zhan people are like you, further proving that they are just a muscle brained idiots that loved to shout and beat other living creatures to pulp."
Shizun you're being too talkative, what's with your grudges towards Bai Zhan and Qiong Ding, especially the former? The youth who was shit mouthed by Shen Jiu earlier fumed, but the blush was mostly because he's embarrassed. He became a good stuttering mess before realizing the Jade amulet he has tied to his waist. "You're also a Qing Jing people! That's not fair, of course you'll have a grudge on us! That deity you serve hates our God!!"
Shen Jiu just huffed. Luo Binghe almost snorted. That person you're pointing at, yeah he's actually that deity you talked about. "What's with the hostility between Qing Jing and Bai Zhan anyway? What happened to the two of them?" He asked lazily, with the intention of making fun of Shen Jiu. And luckily, that worked, as he saw the green robed man gritted his teeth.
"Our goddess, the most beautiful and graceful out of all gods and goddesses, she was always bothered by that brute of a god, Qingge!" Hah, bother, wait...
Wait. Did he hear that right? Goddess? Luo Binghe understand Shen Jiu, no, Shen Qingqiu is beautiful enough to be mistaken as a woman, he himself had thought that the first time they met, but really? Goddess?
Shen Jiu twitched, and he looked like he's ready to actually commit a massacre now. That glare of his is honestly terrifying. "God… goddess? Isn't Qingqiu, isn't he's a god?" It's entertaining enough to actually see how Shen Jiu is struggling to not strangle that Qing Jing boy who just stated how beautiful of a maiden his goddess are that are always being bothered by that brainless idiot of a war god.
"Huh? Young elder, you are from Qing Jing right? It's common sense that our goddess, the goddess of intelligence and art is the most beautiful goddess, even topping the Xian Shu's goddess, Qingqi?"
It was silence. Before Luo Binghe laughed his ass off.