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Being with someone so intricate is bizarre.
Michael looks at Jeremy every day and wonders what he did to deserve him. They're different, yes, they could never be exactly the same, but they mesh in ways that make it seem like they've always known each other. Sometimes, Michael makes a joke and briefly wonders if it's too much, but before the thought can end, Jeremy is already running off with Michael's punchline, spinning it into something else, throwing it back so Michael can have it again.
A game of catch, almost. It isn't that simple. There's so many little intricacies that make their relationship so uniquely them that its almost overwhelming, as much as it feels like home.
Michael doesn't like these thoughts because they're so fucking gay they hurt. Who said that he could be soft for anyone like this? Who said that Jeremy could do this to him?
He remembers when they started. When Jeremy had said, "Hold on, I need to light something on fire real quick." Of course he did. He was a maniac, and yet, Michael was so enamored by him. He watched as Jeremy threw the newspaper fully into the bonfire, and the blaze started to pick up.
He couldn't keep his mouth shut then. He'd never been able to keep his big mouth shut.
"Jeremy, I think I like you."
And Jeremy had laughed. He had said, "I'd hope so. It'd make being your coworker hard if you didn't."
But Michael looked at Jeremy with long-suffering eyes. He didn't know if he could say it again, now that he was conscious of it. After a silent exchange, Jeremy shook his head and looked away.
"God, why would you like me? You're a star, Michael. I'm just- like a worm. I can't even comprehend your light."
It had always been the shit like this. Jeremy was perfect in every way. Maybe not for society, or the world, but for Michael? He was everything. The best Michael had ever known. Michael was sick of pining, when both of them were obviously interested, and he knocked elbows with Jeremy, both staring into the fire. Michael knows he can't just drool poetry like Jeremy can, but at this point, he'd do fucking anything for this boy.
"Yeah, whatever. What if I like you because you're good for me? You make me feel like a star- or, y'know, whatever you wanna say. And worms are cool. Don't be mean to them just because you feel unworthy or something. You're- sounds so stupid when I say it, but you mean a lot, okay? You're good. I just want to hang out with you more often, out of worm, just. The two of us."
Jeremy laughed, pushing up against Michael this time.
"You said worm."
Michael groans, turning his head away, shoving a hand over his face. Of course he did. He's such a mess, and he'd dwell on it a second if Jeremy didn't keep going.
"But, yeah, if you really want to. We could worm this out."
When Michael looked down, Jeremy was grinning.
That smile made his heart light up like a star.
Michael laughed again, and they heard the other car pull up, already blasting music. Their time alone had come to a close, but Michael just reached down and squeezed Jeremy's hand before going to greet the others.
Being in love was bizarre.
It felt weird to trust someone so much. Michael was friends with Gavin, best friends, they were so close, but he couldn't trust Gavin with everything. You'd be insane to trust Gavin with everything .
Geoff was like a father to him. A mentor. He looked up to Geoff and asked him for advice, tried to help Geoff too. It was mutual. If he trusted Geoff completely, he never said. The two of them just knew.
With Jeremy? Michael knew with every fiber of his being, if Jeremy wanted something, he'd make it happen. He didn't know when he'd become devoted. It started with just a squeezing of hands at a bonfire, a spark of touch that had evolved into something so overwhelming that there was no way for Michael to ignore it. Jeremy was everything to him. It was insane.
Michael wasn't the smartest, but he knew it shouldn't be possible to love someone this much. It just shouldn't be. But every day he would see Jeremy's face. Every day, he had to press his hands into his own chest, keep his heart from trying to get out. Sometimes, his hands would be covered by another pair, palms cooler to the touch than his own. He'd peek open his eyes and see Jeremy there again. Heart picking up, and god, every time, it feels like he's going to die.
How could one person make him feel so alive, but on the brink of death? That should be impossible, shouldn't it?
And yet. Jeremy was impossible. The things he did to Michael were impossible. Michael had no idea what in the world he could have ever done to deserve someone so devoted. Someone literally perfect. An angel that didn't understand what he was.
Michael wrinkles his nose. When did he get so fucking gay? Gross. Just, gross. He shouldn't get so soft for one man. It can't be possible, can it? And here he was.
So of course. He had to ask. He says to Jeremy, "I know I said it first, but you like me back. I don't know why, I'm- I'm rude and a mess. I'm inconsiderate and so loud, but- guess you're loud too. Just- why? Why me?"
The look Jeremy gave him in return was... Again, it was bizarre. The words that followed were even moreso. Jeremy grabbed onto Michael's hands and spoke quickly.
"You're more than that. What, do I expect you to be perfect in the eyes of the world? Of course not! Whatever if you're abrasive, so am I. That just makes us for together and- fuck, y'know. You're really cute and you can be so kind and so wonderful, without even thinking about it. That's just who you are. That's why I love you."
Love.
It's such a bizarre concept.
But Michael squeezing Jeremy to his chest, calling him cheesy, saying that he loves him too?
That's easy.
As fucking weird as the whole thing is, with the right person, being in love is so easy. Loving Jeremy, and loving Michael in return? Simple tasks in practice.
Simple as it is though...
They do say that practice makes perfect, so maybe they'll work on this a little bit longer. No point in quitting while progress is going so well. If they should practice, keep getting better at this, then by all means, they will.