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It was New Year’s night in Gotham, and Dick Grayson, aka Nightwing, was lying flat on his back on some rooftop, seeing stars in his field of vision instead of the bright, loud fireworks that definitely didn’t help his equilibrium. Someone to his right was groaning and cursing a blue streak, and it was then that he remembered he had been on a joint mission with one Jason Todd, aka Red Hood.
Dick struggled to get himself up and turned to look at Jason, who was on his hands and knees and looked as if he just finished vomiting. Dick winced empathically. Time to call it a night, he thought. Jason wouldn’t like it, but looking at Jason, he doesn’t seem to be in any kind of shape to call the shots. Dick made up his mind, and touched his ear to check if the comm piece was still in place. He gave it a tap and it crackled to life.
“Yeah, it’s me. Its... well, we successfully stopped the New Year combination bomb and kidnapping plot, but they beat us up pretty thoroughly. I think they got Red Hood with something, he’s not looking so hot. Yeah, an extraction would be nice. Um. Some rooftop. Let’s see... oh the Tranquility Hotel and Casino. Yeah the new one downtown. Thanks.”
“You’re...” And then Jason stopped, looking as if he was about to vomit again, then shook his head when nothing came out. He made a bitter face. “You’re not the boss of me.”
“Yeah yeah, tell me something I don’t already know.” Dick said, unwilling to be roped into some inane fight about which one of them was leading the mission, seeing as the mission is over and the point is moot. He flopped back down onto the floor, and briefly closed his eyes, feeling the tiredness in his bones and cataloguing the myriad of bruises he was sure to be sporting. He wondered how he was going to spin that to his colleagues at the station. Some holiday carousing got out of hand? Yeah, no, with a shiner on his face like that they’d be asking why he didn’t end up at the station for disturbing the peace or something. Holy guacamole, Batman, but he felt like shit.
“I’ve always liked you best you know.”
Dick’s eyes opened wide. Did his ears deceive him or did he just hear Jason, the Jason ‘I already died once bitch’ Todd, just say the words “I’ve always liked you best”? He turned his head to look over at Jason again, who was slumped on his side facing Dick. He had a drunk look on his face. What the hell happened, Dick thought.
“Out of all of us. I’ve always liked you best. I mean, the replacement and the rugrat hardly qualifies anyway. There’s the girls though, they’re pretty cool. But. You’re the best. Always was. Is. Even if you did wear panties to fight crime.”
Dick’s brow creased as he tried to remember the fight earlier. There was one point where Red Hood was overcome by three goons, and was there another that had some syringe at hand...? Ah shit. He touched the comm piece again. “Hey, yeah it’s me again. A few minutes? Great. Also Red Hood might have been shot up with something. A goon with a syringe probably got him, he vomited earlier and now is talking nonsense.”
“S’not nonsense! Just truth bombs.”
“Yeah he just used the term ‘truth bomb’. Looks kinda drunk. My best guess would be an muddled truth serum.”
“Are you ready for more truth bombs? ‘Cuz I got a lot. So much. Need to get them off my chest or I’ll explode! Get it?” Then Jason laughed, and Dick moved to get himself up. There was a tinge of manic in the laughter, and Dick didn’t like the sound of it.
“Let’s hope they didn’t get that serum from the Joker.”
Dick grabbed Jason’s arm and moved to sling it over his shoulder so he could bring the bigger man up, but Jason just flopped around, waving his middle fingers in the air.
“Fuck. The. Joker. Seriously, fuck that guy. With a crowbar, preferably.”
“Yeah, we all know how you feel about that guy. Come on, let’s get you up. Chopper will be here in a few.”
“You though,” Jason continued as Dick manhandled him into getting onto his feet, “You, I like you. Like, for real. If I had to give you a rating I’d say...hmm. Four stars out of five.”
Dick huffed as he adjusted Jason’s arm over his shoulder, and then tightened his hold on the other’s hip. “That high, huh?”
“That’s fuckin’ high praise. You know, Roy’s only like... Two and a half. No make that three.”
“I don’t think that’s as high a praise as you think it is.”
Whatever Jason said after that was lost to the loud sound of the helicopter, and Dick was grateful. The whole night was exhausting enough without being unnerved by Jason’s “truth bombs”. Later at the medical bay of the Cave, Dick gave a debriefing to both Batman (stern, stoic, a solid 2 out of 5) and Red Robin (constantly looking over to Jason who was still giving ratings to everything and everyone, also a 2). They all agreed Jason should be kept monitored, in case the muddled truth serum he was injected with might have some added Joker components. Alfred (a glowing 5 out of 5, the only one) was going to look after Jason and Dick gratefully took the opportunity to get some rest himself, bounding up the stairs two at a time to get to a bed faster.
The next day, Dick found Jason wolfing down a sandwich. He seemed to be doing much better, and Dick breathed a sigh of relief. No Joker toxin, at least. The truth serum must’ve also gotten out of Jason’s system because when he looked up to see Dick grinning at him, he blanched.
“So... four stars out of five, huh?” Dick started, teasing.
Jason wiped his mouth on a cloth napkin Alfred insisted on using, and leaned an elbow on the table. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said, regaining his composure enough to say a bald faced lie.
“Sure, sure.” Dick reached up to the cupboards to look for a cereal, then made a face when all he got was a fiber rich healthy cereal brand. He was putting together a bowl for himself when he heard Jason say, “I didn’t mean what I said. There’s a little bit of truth in everything, but I’ve always been a compulsive liar.”
Dick turned and gave Jason what could only be called a look. “Will it help you sleep at night?”
Jason colored, one of the few times he ever did, and sputtered a “Shut up” before grabbing his helmet and taking off in a huff.