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“Lance, I need you to take this solo mission. There’s a pirate base hidden on a lone moon about three vargas out from the late Empire’s old universal space hub. According to our intel, it’s not heavily guarded and can be taken out pretty quickly. Are you up for it?”
"You know it!”
That was a lie. Lance had one job, and that was not to allow himself to chirp a complete and bald-faced lie. What did he do, though? Chirp a complete and bald-faced lie.
It’s not that Lance felt as though he was unable to complete the mission Keith very nicely asked him to do. He was perfectly capable of taking a ship, flying there, blasting a few heads, and getting back with little to no damage, but the emotional toll was more than he could handle. He’d been numb since the war against the Galran Empire had ended. He thought that defeating Honerva would make everything go back to normal. He’d be back home with his friends and family, happy as a lark. But no. Something was off-kilter with him, and he couldn’t figure out what.
Honerva was defeated. They somehow had saved Allura from sacrificing herself, and let the lions take her place. She and him split, which Lance would have thought to be the cause of his exhaustion and apathy, but it actually wasn’t . In retrospect, he didn’t even see how they made it past day three of their relationship. Neither of them was really that interested; they both just had this need for companionship which was healthier for them in the form of friendship. He felt like he loved her more now as a friend than he did as a potential romantic interest.
So, he wasn’t sure what was wrong with him.
Missions, however, kept him busy. As much as he would love to stay home and help his family on the farm, he knew that the monotony of daily tasks would get to him. He used to love helping his father because the chores gave him time to think. Now, that was the last thing he wanted, and it was the sole reason he joined the Blades with Keith. Missions didn’t leave time for thinking. He had to be focused on the then and there and not all the thoughts his mind wanted to spark. Silence and peace gave him too much time to let the fire engulf his mind, and he’d sit there fanning the flames until something extinguished them. Often times, that something would be waking up to his alarm in the mornings after nightmarish memories resurfaced as he slept.
Missions… kept him busy.
But they didn’t keep the numbness and emotional exhaustion from setting in.
It had been more than a year. This should be over by now.
The radio buzzed and Keith’s voice fizzled in through Lance’s earpiece. “Hey, Lance, checking in. How close are you to the base?”
“Pretty close, man. Would’ve been there yesterday if someone had warned me earlier,” Lance teased with a smirk. Keith’s laugh bubbled over the comms.
“Yeah, it was, uh- a last-minute mission.”
Lance rolled his eyes. Keith never rushed his Blades on missions. It took forever, but Kolivan and Shiro finally beat the level-headed, methodical planner into him, and he hasn’t made an abrupt decision since. He had just laxed on Lance, that was all. He knew he would take the mission and probably forgot until the last minute to actually ask him.
“So, you mind telling me what Intel found about this place?” Lance asked. “I’d like to know what I’m getting into.”
“I’ll let you know when you get here.”
Wait.
“Here?”
“There! I misspoke. I meant there-”
Bullshit.
“Are you at the base already? Without me? I thought this was a solo mission.”
The radio silence was irritating. Lance considered making another snarky remark or even turning back around and heading back to earth, but he waited it out. He gave Keith a few minutes to figure out how to work his way out of this one.
“Well, yes, but-” Keith stumbled over his words, and Lance could just see the flush spreading over his face as he struggled- “okay, okay! It is a solo mission, but I’m here for backup. I’m staying outside the facility. You are going in.”
“If it’s not heavily guarded, why aren’t you already in?”
“....”
“Keith if you don’t answer, I’m turning around. What is going on? What are you planning?”
Keith growled, the sound rumbling Lance’s receiver. “Just, trust me, okay? It’s- it’s all a part of the plan.”
“I think you need to run this plan by me again, buddy.”
The static in the commlink cut off abruptly, and Lance was left squawking offendedly. He grimaced, pressing a little harder on the controls to get him to the now rendezvous point faster.
“Alright, I’m parked behind the building. Do you want me to honk at you or are you gonna tell me where you’re at?”
“Where are- I don’t see you. Come to the east wing. There’s a side entrance we can get you in.”
“Keith. We are in space. There is no east.”
“... I’m sending you my location, just get your ass over here.”
“ Yes, sir .”
“D-Don’t say it like that.”
Lance pulled up the map of the base on his tablet, seeing a red dot flash where he assumed Keith stood guard. It wasn’t that far, just around the corner, actually, so he chose to exit his ship and jetpack his way to the spot. He wasn’t necessarily moving fast, so to make the trek interesting he performed a few tricks. He was mid-flip when he heard Keith’s voice in his ear again.
“Are you quite done playing around?”
Lance, startled, righted himself to an upright position and twirled, finding himself not that far off from Keith. Five feet maybe? His friend stood next to the airlock door, a scowl covering his face and his arms crossed over his chest.
“How long have you been standing there?” Lance asked. He floated up beside him, offering his hand to clasp in a bro-hug.
“You’ve been somersaulting towards me the past ten minutes,” Keith said, unimpressed.
Seeing that Keith was going to leave him hanging, Lance dropped his arm back to his side and shrugged. “Just trying to spice up the journey.”
Keith shook his head, sighing. He turned towards the door and cranked the wheel. “Alright,” he said, yanking the door open, “according to my intel, just beyond the airlock is what we need. I’m going to go through it with you, but just on standby. You need to enter the room and grab the stuff. There is one guard, and he can crush you if you are not careful. So watch out.”
Lance grabbed hold of the doorframe and pulled himself into the airlock. Besides himself, lots of things were off today, including Keith. None of what he was saying made sense, but Lance chose to just roll with it. Rolling with it had gotten him this far in life, why not keep going? Once they were both inside with the door shut, Lance’s helmet notified him that atmosphere conditions had returned to a sustainable level, and he sent Keith a curious glance.
“I take it the pirates have kept this place running,” he said.
“Not all of the base, just this part and surrounding areas.”
“Ah.”
The divider slid open and the two of them were greeted with darkness. Not even emergency lights were on. Lance took a step in with Keith close behind. The divider shut tight.
“Uh, Keith, it’s dark.”
“I can see, Lance.”
“Well, I can’t see anything.”
An exasperated sigh came from behind him and to his right. It was obviously Keith, but it sounded different. It wasn’t in his ear but, outside of it where a voice should be.
“Lance, take off your helmet.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
Lance did as told. With a resounding click, his helmet came off.
It triggered a domino effect.
Bright overhead lights switched on, and he was grabbed and lifted off the ground in an extremely tight bear hug. A large group shouted “SURPRISE” but it took him a minute to process it all. Once his eyes adjusted, he found he was in Hunk’s arms and in a lobby covered in party decorations. He scanned the area, blinking away the haze, to see his fellow ex-paladins, a good number of the Atlas crew and the Blade- including Keith’s lesbians- and his family all in attendance. Lance floundered a bit, confusion taking over so many levels of his train of thought.
In the end, he just yelled, “Keith?!”
“It’s a birthday party, you dolt,” Keith said as he walked up to him and Hunk. “Be happy, it took me forever to organize this.”
“Wha- you-”
“Happy birthday, buddy!” Hunk said, tearing up. “I’m so glad you exist!” He squeezed Lance so tight, the birthday boy felt himself turning blue.
“Tha-thanks, buddy, but I think I just felt my rib snap.”
“Oh, sorry!” Hunk set him down gently. The big guy couldn’t drop his smile.
Lance swayed on the floor awkwardly, looking between the party guests, Hunk, and Keith. He scratched his head, trying to remember for the life of him what day it was on earth.
“It’s my birthday?”
A plethora of reactions echoed. Groans, laughter, his name. Lance himself didn’t know how to react and was just in shock of it all. His mother weaved her way through the crowd, approaching him with a warm smile. She smoothed and straightened out his spacesuit, which was rumpled by his cuddly near-demise.
“ Mijo , how did you forget your own birthday?” she asked. Lance saw a glint of worry in her eyes. He had been forgetting things lately.
“Space is weird, Mamá . I can barely tell if it’s day or night out there. And after weeks of traveling-” he stopped. He stared at his mother for a good, long minute, then shifted his gaze to his father and siblings. “Wait, how are you even here?! I left you all at the farm on Earth! How are you here before me?? Who’s taking care of Kaltenecker!! ”
A loud moo from the corner of the room answered him. He snapped his head in that direction and saw Kaltenecker grazing on a bale of hay, completely disassociated from the situation.
“That answers that,” Lance muttered. “But how are you here?!”
His mother turned her head towards her family, and, in typical McClain fashion, they all started shouting utter nonsense. Rachel yanked Allura from the crowd and spotlighted her, standing behind her and waving her arms in such a manner she looked like a tall boy in a car lot. Lance caught Allura’s eye and quirked a brow, which caused her to break into a fit of laughter. She covered her face while her shoulders shook. Lance took this as a cue to jokingly stomp up to her, a large grin on his face.
“Care to explain what’s going on here, Princess?” he asked, placing his hands on his hips. Allura only responded with more laughter. “So it was you, huh? This is aaallll your doing?”
Allura doubled over, practically gasping for breath. Lance followed her, bending at the side to keep his face level with hers. He was on the verge of laughing himself, but he didn’t show it.
“You and your Alteanness found a way to kidnap my family and my cow from Earth, huh? You missed us that much?” he goaded her. Allura finally stopped herself with a loud snort that faded into giggles. “It’s the only explanation for how you all showed up here before I even did, and I was in one of the Blades fastest ships!”
Allura placed her hands on Lance’s shoulders and pulled herself back up to standing. She couldn’t look him in the eye without giggling, so she looked just past him. “Yes,” she said breathlessly, “I did miss you all, but I wouldn’t have even known how to get them here if it weren’t for Keith. It was all his idea you know.”
She motioned for Keith to join them, and Lance watched him enter the fray, (which wasn’t much of an exaggeration considering how excited the McClain children got) dramatically rolling his eyes and dragging his feet as he did so. Despite his actions, Lance could see that spark of excitement in his eyes.
“Thanks, Keith, for everything,” Lance said, holding out his hand again in an attempt to get that missed bro-hug.
Keith chuckled, taking the bait. “Anything for you, man,” he muttered in Lance’s ear. Lance blinked but didn’t respond.
When the hug ended, Lance cleared his throat. “So, uh, how did you guys get them here?”
“Long story short,” Keith said, “I remembered that Allura used her diadem to activate Shiro’s arm the Garrison made him, and how that connected to the Atlas during the battle with Luka’s Robeast. I thought that there might be some connection still between her and parts of the Atlas that weren’t destroyed in the final battle against Honerva.”
Allura nodded, picking up the story. “Terrible event, that one. I’m still sorry that my decision lead to the Atlas getting destroyed- and don’t say it wasn’t my fault, Keith, I still feel like it was!” Lance sent Keith a smug side-eye to which Keith returned with a glare. Allura continued, “Well, this whole conversation was months ago, so we thought we’d ask Sam to make a pod with the scavenged materials. He ended up getting excited and made a whole ship that could hold a good twenty people.”
“Wormhole still worked,” Keith finished. “It was a bit shaky on the first try and singed Pidge’s hair, but we got it working.”
“Is that why Pidge has an undercut now?” Lance asked, completely disregarding the rest of the story.
“Yes,” Keith and Allura said in tandem. The two’s total confidence seemed to diminish as if a memory was replaying in their heads. Probably an angry Pidge.
Hunk was having them wait so he could finish icing the cake. Presents were planned first, so the group awkwardly waited, listening to the clatter of the cake dome rolling about the kitchen as Hunk tried to secure his masterpiece. James cracked a few jokes about it, causing the other MFEs to groan in response.
The McClain family wasn't in any better boat. Marco naturally had to fill the silence with puns. This caused the entire congregation to complain. It provoked a row, and soon everyone was chattering again.
"So that's where you get it," Pidge deadpanned. Their blank stare brought Lance out of himself.
"It's in our blood to be hilarious," Lance replied with a shit-eating grin.
"If by hilarious, you mean annoying?" Keith interjected.
Lance scoffed and waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, not what your mom called me last night."
Keith looked genuinely confused. "But she wasn't with you last night?"
"It doesn't really work when she's in the room right behind you, Lance." Lance tensed as Krolia's hand clapped down on his shoulder. He laughed nervously.
"Oh, hi, Krolia… didn't see you there…" He looked over his shoulder, expecting murder in her eyes, but got a bemused smile.
"Happy birthday, Lance," she said. "I'm sure there are better suitors for you than me."
"Oh, you sure about that? I don't think there's anyone as…. Okay, I have nothing. Thanks, Krolia."
Hopefully, that wasn't awkward , he thought. He was losing his edge. Smoothness was deteriorating the longer he sat there without an ample distraction.
Where was Hunk? He needed cake.
Krolia was talking again, and he had to block out his own thoughts to hear her. They were loud for some reason today.
"I can't stay long," she said, "I have a partner on a mission and need to rendezvous with him later. I know Hunk wants us to wait, but I thought I'd give you this now, in case the kitchen area gives him any more trouble." Another clatter rang out, as she handed him a small package. "Which seems to be the case, is he okay?"
Lance wasn't able to answer fast enough. Pidge jumped back into the conversation quickly. "He's been on edge recently. He and Shay have been talking pretty seriously, and he's going through a number of emotions."
"I didn't know that," Lance said. He searched his memory for any chance that Hunk, who told him everything, would have mentioned it, but came up null.
"Really? Have you checked the group chat?"
Lance blinked. "Group chat?" He pulled out his phone and searched through his messages. He found the chat unopened.
"I put you in it, right?" Pidge hopped up from their seat and perched themselves on the arm of his chair to look at his phone.
"You did," Lance assured, "I just never got around to opening it. Forgot about it then."
"You? Not looking at a message?" Pidge teased, "That's new."
Was it? He remembered seeing the notification and thinking he'd open it later that day. It was raining and he needed to get the chickens back in their coop. He ended up chasing one out in the rain for hours and chose to call it an early night.
He remembered waking up to the sound of thunder and asking Rachel to sleepover that night for comfort.
Pidge prodded him in the side, causing him to jerk away from the tickles. "Anyway, Lance," they said, "open your thing! I wanna see!"
“Okay, okay!” Lance stripped the box of its colorful wrapping and popped the lid off. He stared into the box, unsure of what exactly he was seeing. “Is this-” he pulled out the carefully knitted fabric- “a calf-seized onesie???”
The room went dead long enough for his words to make an impact. Then one by one the guests broke into laughter. Lance was too in awe of the garment in his hands to make a comment. It wasn’t cotton or wool, but some smooth fabric that glittered in the light. He looked to Krolia questioningly.
“A few months ago, Keith told me Kaltenecker was expecting,” she explained too easily. “He mentioned how worried you were now that earth is going into a new seasonal cycle.”
“So you made this?”
“Obviously. I’ve yet to go to a planet that sells clothing for cows.”
“So, what’s it made of?” Lance asked, holding up the fabric to the light.
“It’s a thread from the Yyolian galaxy. Their planets are in a state of eternal winter, so most products are made for harsh temperatures.”
“It’s also non-toxic,” Keith cut in. “We made sure after we got it. So if the calf tries to eat it, it won’t be hurt.”
We?
Lance held the onesie to his chest, soaking in the warmth that saturated the fabric. He could already imagine it on the calf as it tailed Kaltenecker from one end of the field to the other. He had thought about making a coat himself, but he hadn't the energy to get out his sewing supplies all summer.
"Thank you, Krolia," he muttered just loud enough for her to hear.
She ruffled his hair lovingly. "If you ever need anything, just ask. Unless I'm on a mission, I don't mind. You've been there for Keith all these years, so I feel the need to return the favor."
"Oh," the modesty in Lance spiked, "there's really no need-"
"Nonsense," Krolia said sternly, then softened, "Keith talks a lot about you. You've done so much for him, and I'm grateful for that. I just want you to know you have people who care for you."
When Lance didn't respond, she sighed and leaned over his chair, closer to his ear. "You don't have to do anything alone. Life doesn't have to be a solo mission." A beeping sound came from her hip, and she pulled her communicator out of her belt. "That's my cue. Happy birthday, Lance."
"Thanks, Krolia!" Lance called after her as she made her way to the exit.
Lance's mother, upon hearing this, added her own farewell. "Stop by for dinner soon, Krolia! The children loved your Vorni-Vorna- that galran dish you made last time!"
Krolia laughed, prepping for the airlock. "I'm surprised! It was just earth asparagus with a few outer-planet spices!"
And with that, she was gone.
"I didn't know they had asparagus on Daibazaal," Lance noted curiously.
"Nah," Keith said, "the food's name just means "weird tree with spice" in galran. They've never seen asparagus before."
"Seriously?"
It was then Hunk finally poked his head out of the kitchen. His eyes landed on Lance and the opened present in his lap.
"I said wait for me!" He shouted.
"Then get over here or bring us cake!" Lance said. This triggered the McClain family into another cheering session.
"CAKE! CAKE! CAKE! CAKE!"
It didn't take much convincing. Hunk huffed but went to grab the dessert, which he paired with cupcakes in case the cake wasn't enough. It was unanimously decided that cake and presents would happen at the same time.
-------
The party dissolved once presents were opened. Groups of people idly chatted amongst themselves as they munched on their slices of cake. It was funny, really, how everyone broke off. Lance could tell certain cliques had been formed over the years, and everyone defaulted to their respective circles when given free roam. The MFE Pilots over near the snack table. The Blade members all circling the Gamestation, curious about the knock off DDR mat. His family- well they did what they wanted. Currently, Marco was hanging from an old rafter, swinging back and forth while Rachel and Luis recorded. Lance could only think it was good that his nieces and nephews stayed home for this one.
The lobby wasn't that large. It was probably once used as a conference room for upper ranked employees. Sound bounced off the old metal walls. Lance felt a little light-headed, and he placed a hand on his head, only to stop and watch his fingers shake. Nervous energy exploded in limbs, and everything was suddenly not enough and too much all at once.
"Lance? Are you alright?" Allura asked from beside him. He jumped and slapped a hand over his heart. He forgot she was there.
"I'm fi-" Lance swallowed and reworded his response, noting her glare- "I just need some air. Is there a place I can go for that?"
Allura frowned, pointing out the nearest internal exit. "There's a small observatory deck down the hall and to the right. It's really just a giant bubble you can sit in."
Lance gave her a heart hearted smile and patted her shoulder. "Thanks. Just-just let anyone who asks know I needed a breather. I'm fine."
She nodded, watching him set his cake down and leave the room. Allura felt a presence at her shoulder not moments later. "Observation deck," she said without looking. She knew who it was.
Lance felt that very same presence once it entered the room. He didn't even turn around. He let himself completely zone out watching the stars in the inky distance.
"Why aren't you enjoying the party?" He asked.
"Eh, I don't do crowds," Keith grunted as he plopped down beside him. There wasn't much room on the floor of the bubble, so their knees knocked against each other as they got comfortable.
"Then why did you invite a huge one?"
"Because you do." He said it teasingly. Lance, however, felt a part of him sink at the accusation.
A silence fell between them, and Keith obviously was uncomfortable with it. Lance felt him shift beside him, trying to keep the air between them from staling. It didn’t help. Things were different between them, and it was hard to adjust, even for Lance. The past few years had changed them in more ways than one.
Keith cleared his throat, garnering Lance’s attention. “So, uh, here.” He tossed a small package, hastily and awkwardly wrapped in violet wrapping paper, onto his lap. Lance stared at it, unsure of what to do.
“It’s my birthday gift to you,” Keith said patiently. “Open it.”
Lance picked the item up gently. The paper was so loosely wrapped that it was easy to pull away. Strands of violet paper fell to the ground, and Lance was left with a book wrapped in red canvas. He ran his fingers over the lettering etched on the cover.
Dear Lance
Curiously, Lance opened the book and flipped through its pages. Pictures were pasted to the pages with a note beginning with “Dear Lance” written in what looked like red ink underneath each one. At first, he recognized a few of Keith’s selfies being in the old Blade base, then a small figurine took his place.
“I’ve been wanting to give it to you for a while now, but things happened between getting back to Earth and now,” Keith explained softly. Lance felt his walls build up and scooted closer to wedge himself between them. Keith responded at first by tensing but quickly relaxed. “I thought your birthday would be the best time to give it.”
“Did you have it all printed since you finished it?” Lance asked, amazed at how long Keith had been hiding this from him. A million thoughts and questions swirled in his head, waiting to be flushed out at the first hint of silence.
“No! No, I had it all on my tablet. I only printed it a week ago. Pidge suggested it.” He reached over and traced his finger over the first page. “They even helped me pick out the type of paper and all the other aesthetic things you put into these book… things.” He scowled.
Lance chuckled, “Scrapbooks?”
“Yeah, that!”
The book shook in his lap as he laughed. Keith removed his hand and placed it on the ground close to Lance’s. When he was able to stop, Lance noticed the genuine smile gracing Keith’s face, and a cage of butterflies opened up in his stomach. He wet his lips, looking back at the book.
“So, uh, what’s with all the letters to me?”
He didn’t know what he wanted for an answer. He didn’t even know what he expected. The sheer openness of possibilities introduced an excitement he hadn’t felt in a long time. It scared him, but he may have liked it.
Keith seemed to sink into a reverie as he thought about the question. His eyes glazed over, thinking of times long past, and a warm peace settled over them.
“It’s hard to explain,” he said. “When I was in the Blades, during that time I left Voltron, I remember feeling lost. I… yeah, I was scared. I hadn’t had a family for most of my life, Lance, but the team became that family for me. I was excited whenever I visited a new planet because I kept thinking of the stories I would tell you all. I wrote them all down so I wouldn’t forget, but I didn’t know how to actually write a diary entry, so I chose to write each one as a letter.”
“Then why me, and not Shiro or Pidge… or Hunk?”
Keith didn’t answer right away. He moved his gaze to the stars outside, chewing his lip as he considered the pros and cons. Lance just watched him, waiting for whatever was coming. Keith seemed to find his words and exhaled. His hand crept closer, delicately covering Lance’s hand with his.
“I know we had that… weird made-up rivalry going on, but Lance, you were my first friend. I love Shiro, he was- and is - my brother. But, I felt more grounded when I was around you. I felt more confident in myself. So, writing to you felt natural. It made me happy knowing that you could be there with me, even if it was just on paper. Then I got the figurine-”
“Oh, yeah! That,” Lance exclaimed. He flipped through the pages with his free hand quickly. He stopped on the first picture that had a small doll with blue clothing. "What is this?"
Keith flushed deeply. "It's uh… it's you."
Lance squinted, pursing his lips as he examined the character. "How is that me? They got the nose wrong."
"It's you, okay!" Keith snapped, obviously embarrassed and wanting to change the subject. "I bought it at a bizarre on planet Kvloris Nine. It was around the time of the Voltron show- or before it, I can't remember- and I saw a stand selling them for three GAC, so I bought one. He looked cute, so I got the mini you."
"Mini Shiro didn't look cute?"
"Mini Shiro was too buff. Not accurate."
Lance snorted.
"Mini you didn't survive the fight with Shiro, though, so pictures stopped at that point."
"You took him on that fight?"
"I always carried him with me. He was my good luck charm."
Lance cooed, dramatically leaning back with his hand over his heart. "Awwww, I was Keefy's good luck charm!"
Keith squeezed Lance's hand, making the dramatic freeze in his antics. "Yeah," Keith murmured. "Still are."
"I-what?"
Keith shuffled closer, meeting Lance's eye. He searched his face for something. Lance wasn't sure what, but the proximity set his heart racing. Keith wasn't satisfied with what he found, apparently, sighing frustratedly.
"I'd suggest you reading through the book," he said. He flipped the book back to its first page. Lance looked down at it and Keith took the opportunity to slide his hand up, cupping Lance's opposite cheek. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to the junction of Lance's ear and jaw.
The kiss ended quickly, too quickly for Lance's taste, and Keith was removing himself from the situation. He was already halfway out of the room when he stopped and turned back to Lance.
"Come on back when you are ready," he said while clearing his throat. "Hunk's wanting to play some party games." His voice softened, warming like a heated blanket. "Are you going to be okay?"
"Y-yeah," Lance stuttered, still in shock, "I'll be- I'll be fine. See you in a bit."
Keith smiled. "Good. Happy birthday, Sharpshooter."
Lance still felt the searing tingle after Keith was gone. He lifted his hand to his cheek, holding it there are if to suppress the fire blazing over his skin. His fingers lit with energy that zapped through his veins and into his toes. It was an odd feeling, but not unwelcomed. He could feel his heart beating in his chest and the cool floor beneath his body. His nerves were sensitive, catching every bit of texture and movement as he stood up to return to the party.
He felt…
Alive.