Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Weightlessness...

... followed by a full-bodied impact with the ground. Akechi is first aware of his body rolling through grass until coming to a stop on his back. Every nerve feels like it's screaming, and he's sure that he's bleeding out on the grass. He'll be lucky if his wounds only get dirty and not infected. Then the pain slowly ebbs away, and he realizes that there is no blood leaking from any holes in his body. In fact, he barely has a scratch on him. Shido's palace has no grass in it, after all. He isn't on the ship anymore.

Akechi forces himself to sit up despite the pain. Just because he has no evidence of being shot in the gut doesn't mean he doesn't still feel it. He can't just leave himself laying here for someone to find in the morning, though. He needs to find somewhere safe so he can recuperate and figure out what his next move is. It's clear Shido doesn't trust him, and hasn't ever trusted him, so as much as he hates to admit it, Akechi's original plan is trashed. It isn't ideal, but he'll just have to find another way to destroy that man.

He vaguely remembers a conversation held through a metal wall. A promise had been made. He wonders if he's here because Akira succeeded in taking down Shido for him. That would be... Akechi isn't sure how he feels about that.

He makes himself stand, stumbling a little on weak legs. He considers returning to his apartment, but he has to wonder if he'll be safe there. Would Shido try to assassinate him in the real world already? Akechi would like to think Shido puts a little more faith in him, but the twisted expression on Akechi's cognitive twin sends shivers of uncertainty down his spine. If Shido really thinks of him like such a freakish murder-puppet, the man wouldn't blink twice if he suspected Akechi was going rogue. The bastard probably had it all planned out early into their relationship, what he would do should Akechi turn on him. The thought makes his stomach hurt, but that could also just be because of the bullet that ripped into his side.

Akechi starts walking away from the diet building and in the opposite direction of his apartment. He nears a light pole and notices something at the base of it. A figure sits under the light with their back against the pole, slumped forward and barely moving. Slowly, Akechi approaches the figure. He himself is hurt, but whoever this is clearly needs help, assuming they are still alive. For some reason, Akechi feels like he can't just leave them there.

Unexpectedly, he sees none other than Ryuji Sakamoto sitting there. Akechi frantically looks around for the other Thieves, but he can't find a trace of them. Unfortunately, instead of turning and walking away before he's spotted, Ryuji lifts his head and sees him.

"A...kechi?" The blond boy asks quietly. Akechi looks down at him and feels a pang of pity. The guy is beat to hell and looks miserable, which is not an expression Akechi has seen Ryuji make before.

"Where are the others? Are they nearby?" Akechi glances around nervously again, but sees nothing.

"No." Ryuji's mouth twists into an ugly little frown. "They... went out to eat or something."

Akechi draws his eyebrows together as he looks down at the exhausted boy against the pole. A lovely bruise is already forming on his cheekbone just up under his eye.

"Why are you here?" Akechi looks around again, but the area continues to be empty. Ryuji coughs and it sounds almost like a laugh, but without any humor.

"I just need to rest a minute. Palaces really can take a ton outa you, y'know?" Ryuji smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Visible injuries in palaces don't carry over to the real world." Akechi knows a fake smile when he sees one. He is a self taught expert on the matter after all. Ryuji glances away for a second before looking confused.

"Huh?"

"You're bruised." Akechi clarifies. Ryuji just sighs and looks down at his hands in his lap. It's quiet for a moment long enough to become awkward. Then, Ryuji picks himself up, brushes off the dirt, and smiles at Akechi like he means it. If this is a fake smile, Akechi can't tell. Maybe Ryuji is another expert, or maybe he's just a cheerful idiot.

"Whatever, forget about that!" Ryuji looks over Akechi once more. "Man, you're looking alive, huh?" Akechi can't understand why he would be happy about that. Honestly, he isn't sure if he himself is very happy with this outcome.

"It would seem so." Akechi's side hurts like hell and he can still feel how broken pieces of his helmet dug into his face, but at least none of it shows.

"Man, everyone else is gonna be so psyched to know you didn't die, we all thought for sure you-" Ryuji cuts himself off mid sentence. Hesitantly, he brings his hand up to poke the bruise under his eye. He winces the moment his finger touches skin.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I doubt that is true." Akechi smiles politely. He tried to kill them, after all. Numerous times. They only were being nice to him in the engine room because of pity. It would be so much easier for everyone if he just died there like he was supposed to.

"No, for real!" Ryuji seems to shake off whatever he was thinking a moment ago to smile at Akechi once again. "Dude, Akira's been so bummed since that day. He insisted we finish this palace as soon as possible, really determined to keep his promise with you. Plus Shido is a shitbag that needed to be stopped sooner than later."

Akechi thinks about how he woke up outside of the diet building just a few minutes ago, feeling like he was thrown several feet before he landed hard in the grass. He can't remember much else before that, only that he was dying. The metal floor was an unforgiving deathbed. The partition wall wasn't thick enough to block out the desperate cries of the Phantom Thieves. Something within him changed, there was a surge of power, and then he lost consciousness. He shakes his head to clear it of foggy memories.

"Did you succeed, then? Did you steal his heart?" Akechi hates how hopeful he sounds, but he's also too exhausted to care. After everything, maybe having it be over with is for the best.

"Hell yeah we did!" Ryuji grins. "Or, well, we got his treasure. So uh, hopefully it all goes smoothly this time."

"So his palace is gone?" Akechi can feel his heart beating hard against his chest. For years he's been waiting to one up Shido, and after his spectacular failure in the engine room, the Phantom fucking Thieves take his place. He almost feels disappointed that the palace is gone, despite how ghastly a place it was. He visited it often, without Shido's knowledge of course, so he got rather familiar with it. It was somewhere he blew off steam sometimes when he didn't want to go to Mementos. It being gone leaves a weirdly empty feeling in his chest.

"Yeah, it blew up pretty awesomely." Ryuji grins but slowly it falls. "We almost didn't make it out."

"I wonder how I managed to escape while unconscious when you had a hard time getting out being awake and alert." Akechi folds his arms up to place his hand under his chin thoughtfully.

"I dunno, man. I stopped questioning Metaverse shit a while ago. It's just something I never understand. All that matters is we all got out." Ryuji shrugs carelessly. Akechi kind of hates him for that attitude.

"Well, I like to think I understand the Metaverse very well, and there must be an answer as to how I lived." Akechi tilts his head up to look down on the other. "I'm not the kind of person who just gives up on something because it's confusing."

"Yeah, that's the spirit!" Ryuji seems genuinely happy for him until something clicks in his bleached head. "Hey wait, was that a sneaky insult?!"

Akechi just shrugs. He's not entirely sure why he feels so irritated by Ryuji brushing off the "Metaverse shit" as he so eloquently put it, but he's pissed off enough about it to take some pride in making Ryuji look so betrayed.

"Only to the people who give up on confusing things." Akechi hides his amusement behind a careless attitude. Ryuji hides nothing and pouts angrily.

"I ain't a quitter, man! I just know what I gotta know and do what I gotta do, anything wrong with that?"

"I never said you were a quitter. My, you really are defensive though. Tell me, are you trying to convince me? Or yourself?"

"Y'know." Ryuji glares and folds his arms. "I actually liked you better when you were throwin' a temper tantrum."

Akechi is, for once, speechless. His whole life his survival revolved around his ability to talk his way into and out of anything he desired, but now he finds himself at a total loss. Is it the exhaustion? The unexpected earnesty of Ryuji's words? Or is it because those words brought up the too recent memories of the worst moment of his life.

"... don't make me regret sacrificing myself for you." Akechi decides to say as coldly as possible. Ryuji inexplicably laughs.

"The hell do you mean, sacrifice? You didn't actually die!" Ryuji brushing off Akechi's very real near death experience just angers the boy detective more.

"I could have, I would have, you ungrateful shit." Akechi grinds the words out through clenched teeth. "It's because of me that you're even here to criticize me at all. I could have just left you all to deal with the shadows. Fuck, I could have gone through with what that thing with my face wanted. Joker is still alive because of me. I think you'd show me a little respect."

"Are you for real?" Ryuji laughs like he can't believe what Akechi just said. "Like, are you serious right now? It's because of you that Joker was in any danger to begin with, asshole! Not shootin' him ain't some heroic action. In fact, it's barely an apology for gettin' him arrested in the first place! And all the other shit you did? Man, a half assed self sacrifice doesn't make up for even half the shit you put innocent people through."

"Innocent? Oh, Kunikazu Okumura was hardly innocent-"

"But you didn't have to kill him! Man, you didn't have to kill anyone, but you did!" Ryuji throws his hands to the side angrily. "There was one man you actually wanted to kill, so why didn't you go after him from the start? Why have some twisted plan to give him power and everything he wanted?"

"Just killing him wouldn't be enough! I need to see him suffer. I need to see him at his highest point, and then watch his face when I tear it all back down. I needed to give him something to live for so I could destroy it in front of him. It's what he did to my mother, it's only fair I do it to him." Akechi sneers, but the energy behind it is lacking. "He destroyed her future by infecting her with a child she had no means to care for, and then left her to drown in a society that blamed her for it. He deserves to watch his dreams crumble right when they are within his reach."

Ryuji is silent for a moment, staring at Akechi with a wrinkled brow and dark eyes. Then the expression falls into something sympathetic. Or pitying.

"Infecting? Dude, that's not a good way to talk about yourself."

"And what the fuck do you care about it? It's really quite simple, even an idiot like you could see the logic. Shido was the cause of my mother's death; from the very beginning I was his weapon."

"You shouldn't think like that! You ain't just a weapon, you're a human being!" Ryuji almost sounds like he's pleading.

"Am I? Or was I from birth just a means of destruction?" Ryuji opens his mouth to say something, but Akechi keeps talking. "Am I here because of my choices, or because of my destiny?"

"Shit, uh, Akira's really the one who has more to say about this sorta thing." Ryuji runs his fingers through his hair, making the short blond locks stick out at an odd angle. "But uh, he would say something like, 'don't use fate as an excuse not to try.' Or something like that. Anyway, what I mean is, he don't believe in shit like destiny."

"So I put myself here." Akechi mutters.

"Something like that, yeah. But hey, that doesn't mean you can't change your path now! You been making choices based on what you think other people want, so it's time to make choices about what you want."

Akechi tries to remain straight faced even as Ryuji proudly puts his hands on his hips to strike a heroic sort of pose. He loses his battle and ends up laughing at the sincerity of the poor, sweet, disillusioned boy in front of him.

"What are you, a motivational poster? You gonna go write a self help book now?" Akechi laughs more as Ryuji's expression gets more and more pissed off. Of course, it's the laughter that is pissing him off, so it just runs into a stupid cycle of Akechi deliriously giggling at Ryuji's increasingly pouty face.

Eventually the laughter dies down as Akechi starts to feel his stomach aching. His head also hurts rather terribly, now that he thinks of it. Ryuji isn't looking so pissed anymore; he looks worried instead. Akechi hates to be looked at with such pity, but the throbbing in his head distracts from the intensity of that hate. He sticks an arm out to lean against the light pole, using his other hand to rub his forehead.

"Are you going to tell the others?" Akechi asks. He closes his eyes in preparation for the answer.

"Tell the others?" Ryuji tilts his head in confusion, and bless his stupid soul, he really doesn't know what Akechi is talking about.

Akechi sighs long and hard. "About me. About how I'm still alive?"

"Oh, right, yeah. Well, obviously I'm gonna tell everyone! How could I not? I told ya, Akira's been so bummed thinking you're dead, man. I ain't gonna let my friends mourn you if you're fine."

"Fine," Akechi repeats incredulously.

"Well, uh, I mean, alive. If you're alive." Ryuji is blushing slightly when Akechi raises his head to look at him. It's kind of funny to see him trip over his words trying to save face but Akechi has reached his laughter limit for the day. Maybe for the week.

"I don't want them to know." Akechi shrugs at Ryuji's confused expression. "It's bad enough that you know."

"So, what, you were just gonna bounce and leave us thinkin' you died?"

"That's the gist of it, yes." Akechi isn't expecting the punch to his shoulder that follows his words.
"Ow!" He recoils, holding his aching arm and glaring at the offender. Ryuji shakes out the hand he just used and meets the glare head on.

"You effing bastard, you can't do that to us!"

"Why not? It's not as if you'd ever have known."

"Because we care about you, dumbass!" Ryuji punches Akechi's arm again, but the physical hit brings less of a reaction from Akechi than the words do.

"What? Why would you possibly-" Akechi is stupefied. His mind tries to unpack Ryuji's exclamation but he is unable to figure out the meaning behind it.

"Didn't I already tell you Akira's been a wreck? It's the same for the rest of us, man. We've all been upset over you. You'd just let us carry that for the rest of our lives?"

"Yes. Why would I care how you feel?" Akechi averts his eyes when Ryuji looks at him incredulously.

"Man, I don't think you're really as stone cold as you make yourself out to be." Then Ryuji smiles at him like one would smile at an obstinate child and it nearly knocks Akechi over.

"What the fuck do you know?" Akechi snarls back. "I bet Okumura and Sakura wouldn't say the same. I killed their parents, remember?"

"Maybe they kinda hate you, sure, but they don't want you to be dead!" Ryuji tries to argue.

"They should! You and your goody little Thief friends should have finished me off when you had the chance, save me the trouble of dealing with you now."

"Shut up Akechi!" Ryuji yells loud enough that Akechi fears it could be heard from within the diet building.

"You shut up!" Akechi whisper yells back. "Do you want security guards coming over here?"

Ryuji's eyes widen as he realizes just how loud he really was. He looks around and also realizes how out in the open the two of them are. Anyone walking down the street could see them.

"Shit, maybe we better move-"

"Actually," Akechi straightens up in an effort to look esteemed, but the ache in his side screams at him to relax his body. He ignores the ache and stares Ryuji down. "I think this should be where we part ways, Sakamoto-kun. Tell your friends whatever you want; it won't matter."

"What? No way, I'm not just letting you walk away to go disappear! You need help, man." Ryuji keeps looking at him with so much pity that Akechi could strangle him. If only he had the energy to do so.

"I don't want your help. I don't want anyone's help. And I certainly don't need to become your charity case." Akechi snaps back at the blond.

"What the hell are you talking about, man?" Ryuji looks taken aback. "You ain't a charity case to me!"

"Well, what am I, then?"

"You're angry and hurt and tired, and you shouldn't be alone right now." Ryuji's eyes have a soft compassion held in them that makes Akechi want to throw up and punch him in the face at the same time.

"Fuck you, you don't know what I need-"

"I know because I'm the same way!" Ryuji cuts him off with exasperation. It succeeds in silencing Akechi for the moment. "I feel that same way. So just, come with me, we'll figure it out."

"I would rather be alone than next to you." Akechi regards Ryuji with disdain.

"Don't get me wrong; I don't like you either."

"What? Then why-"

"Despite what you believe, I think suffering alone is bad for you. Believe me, I know."

That stupid, ignorant blond, claiming to understand suffering. If Akechi weren't so damned exhausted, he'd tear the boy a new one. Show him what real suffering feels like.

"You don't know shit, Sakamoto. You think having a shitty teacher break your leg is suffering? You think that having a deadbeat dad that used to hit you is suffering? Shut your fucking mouth." Akechi growls. Ryuji pauses a moment, taking a deep calming breath.

"Okay look, our situations are different, yeah. Doesn't change that you shouldn't be alone. If anything, it proves my point more! You're coming home with me." Ryuji plants his feet to physically show how he isn't budging on this.

"Why?" Akechi hates how his voice breaks. "Why would you ever want to help me?"

"What stupid question is that?" Ryuji crosses his arms and huffs. "It's cuz you need help, duh."

Akechi stands back and shakes his head slowly in disbelief. What kind of idiot response was that? "Cuz you need help." Akechi would laugh at that if his side didn't hurt so damn much.

"... fine. Whatever. You had better not live far, Sakamoto." Akechi resigns himself to his fate of being helped. Ryuji looks so pleased about it, he feels like this is already a mistake.

"Alright! It's not far, promise. C'mon, we'll be there before you know it!" Ryuji's smile shines so brightly for a moment Akechi thinks it actually lights up the area, but then he realizes it's just the light from the pole he's standing under. The smile is still blinding, regardless.

The two walk in blessed silence to the subway. The darkness of the night is a gift as well; the last thing Akechi wants is to be pestered by fans or haters. Luckily, they make it to the train unpestered. Akechi sits down on the seat of the mostly empty train with a huff. Ryuji sits right next to him with an equal amount of exhaustion. A lady across the car looks at them curiously but says nothing. If Akechi weren't so drained of energy and dignity, he'd be internally panicking about the judgemental look in her eyes. As it is, he's just glad she doesn't say anything.

When they finally reach Ryuji's apartment complex, they stop outside the door.

"Okay, so, I'm not sure if my mom's home yet, but if she is, just say you tripped and fell down a hill or something. I don't want her coming up with her own conclusions." Ryuji glances nervously at the door like it'll swing open any second to reveal his mother.

"What about yourself?" Akechi asks.

"Huh?"

"What's your cover story? You're covered in bruises."

"Eh," Ryuji waves the question off. "It won't be the first time. I'll tell her it was the track team or something."

"Actually, that is something I've been wondering. Who was it that gave you those bruises?" Akechi can't stop himself from asking. It's been in the corner of his mind since he found Ryuji sitting against the light pole.

Ryuji glances away a couple times before fully turning to the door. He rests his hand on the handle for a moment.
"... the track team." He says quietly. Then he opens the door.

Chapter Text

The apartment is empty, and Ryuji sighs in relief.

"She's not home yet, good. Come on, bathroom's this way." He gestures for Akechi to follow him into the tiny bathroom down a little hallway. They pass an open door, but Akechi can't see anything beyond besides the silhouettes of furniture. His natural curiosity tells him to snoop, but Ryuji is already in the bathroom and whining at him to come on.

"Be patient, I nearly died today." Akechi has to step sideways into the cramped room to fit past Ryuji as he searches through the cabinet above the sink.

"Yeah yeah, so did I." Ryuji grumbles as he pulls out a pill bottle and a comb from the cabinet. He hands the comb to Akechi. "Here, get the grass outa your hair."

"What!" Akechi startles, hands immediately going to his hair. Ryuji gives him a pointed look and waggles the comb in front of him. He snatches it and pushes Ryuji aside to look in the mirror. Just as he said, there is grass in his hair and dirt on his face. He really does look like he just rolled down a hill. He starts combing it out as he glares daggers at Ryuji through the mirror. "You let me get on the train looking like this?"

"Hey, what was I supposed to do?"

"You could have at least told me that I looked so disheveled! I could have done something about it before anybody else saw me." Akechi looks back at himself in the mirror as he furiously battles bits of grass out of his tangled hair.

"Man, I don't even know what disheveled means, but why is this such a huge deal, anyway? You nearly died but you care about how dirty you look?" Ryuji frowns at him through the mirror.

"You really don't care about how you look?" Akechi asks in disbelief. Then, he leans back with a look of dawning realization. "Oh, right. You don't have a reputation to uphold. You can look as filthy as you want because that's what punks like you are supposed to look like."

Akechi realizes he may have pushed the wrong buttons when Ryuji grabs him by the lapel of his blazer to turn him around.
"What did you say?" The blond punk grits his teeth and gets right up in Akechi's face. It's far from intimidating for the detective. He keeps his face perfectly straight.

"I said," Akechi starts, expression blank, "That you can get away with being beaten up and dirty because that's how punks look anyway."

Ryuji's eyes narrow further, and for a moment it seems like he might go for a punch. Instead, the blond pushes Akechi back and he stumbles into the corner of the sink counter. It jabs into his side and pain flares up from the small poke. The yelp he lets out is entirely involuntary.

"Whoa, shit, dude are you okay?" Ryuji's eyes widen into concern despite his mood a mere moment ago. "I swear I did not mean to push you that hard. What happened?"

"I was shot, you dumbass." Akechi growls at the blond hovering hesitantly around him like he'll need to be caught. He sits down on the lid of the toilet and tightly wraps his arms around himself. "My body hasn't figured out that the bullet wasn't real yet."

"Oh shit, I didn't think of that. I shouldn't've pushed you." Ryuji looks honestly apologetic. Akechi averts his eyes from the other's face to instead stare at the dust and mold collected in the corner of the room against the divider for the shower. It reminds him a bit of the apartment he lived in when his mother was alive. Why this specific dirty corner brought those memories back to light, he doesn't know, but he does find some irony in feeling nostalgic about filth.

"It's fine. You didn't know." Akechi sighs and closes his eyes. The pain is starting to disapate somewhat. Sitting down has reminded him of just how tired he feels, and it takes some effort to keep from dozing off. Ryuji says something, but Akechi doesn't bother listening. As he slowly starts giving up on staying awake, Ryuji says something else. Akechi doesn't react to anything Ryuji says or does until something wet and cold presses against his cheek.

"Hyeek?!" The noise Akechi makes is high and undignified as he flails and smacks Ryuji's arm away from his face. He looks up to find the blond holding a wet cloth and laughing at him. Immediately the panic he felt turns into annoyance.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Akechi snaps.

"I'm tryin' to wash the dirt off your face, dude." Ryuji responds, still laughing lightly. How he can look so cheerful with bruises littering his face, Akechi will not understand. "Sit still, and don't squeal this time." Ryuji starts to move forward like he's going to try again, so Akechi grabs his arm before he can get close to his face.

"I did not squeal." Akechi ignores the incredulously raised eyebrow on Ryuji's face and snatches away the washcloth. "And I can do this myself, thank you." Once his arm is released, the blond steps back to give Akechi room to stand up and look in the mirror. Disgruntled as he is to admit it, his face is rather dirty. He starts to wipe his face off with the cloth, and now that he is in control and can know when it will be touching his face, the cool water feels nice.

Ryuji wanders off while Akechi continues to wash off his face. Once he feels like the dirt is sufficiently cleaned off, he leaves the cloth on the sink and looks out the door and into the hallway. Ryuji reappears seconds later with an armful of clothes. Akechi also notices that the blond has changed out of his uniform.

"Here, since I'm pretty sure you don't wanna sleep in your uniform." Ryuji holds out the pile of clothes in front of him. It takes Akechi a moment to realize that he's offering the clothes to him. He kicks his brain back into gear and takes the pile. The fabric feels soft like it's been worn many times before. "I'll let you get changed while I go find our spare futon. Oh, and there's some pain killers on the counter there, but don't take more than two." Ryuji says before he leaves the bathroom and closes the door.

Akechi stands frozen in place in the bathroom for a moment after Ryuji leaves. Then, he examines the clothes in his arms. The shirt is an old graphic tee that Ryuji's presumably had for who knows how long. The fabric feels soft in the way that only old fabric can feel. It has some sort of frog looking character bursting out of a big star on the front. The colors are faded with age and despite not knowing the character, there is something nostalgic about it. The pants are regular navy blue sweatpants with a white stripe down the side. Akechi notices that Ryuji did not bring him underwear, a fact that he is thankful for. No way in hell would he wear someone else's undergarments. Wearing someone else's regular clothes is pushing it enough.

He examines himself in the mirror when he's finished changing. With the dirt washed off and his hair combed through, he looks far more normal than he feels. He smiles charmingly at his reflection and studies the face looking back at him. Despite the dirt and grass being mostly gone, Akechi still looks rougher than usual. A news anchor would ask him if he feels under the weather or if he's getting enough sleep. He hopes to god that the lady on the train didn't recognize him.

Akechi looks down at the counter and sees the pill bottle Ryuji mentioned. He unscrews the cap and takes four pills, swallowing them dry. His mouth tastes like medicine and dirt now, with a hint of iron. There's no cups though, and he's not about to slurp water out of his cupped hands like an animal, so he decides to live with it.

When Akechi leaves the bathroom, carrying his own clothes folded in a pile, he finds that the room he was looking at before now has the light on. He goes in and sees Ryuji there putting sheets and blankets on a futon in the middle of the floor. To the left is a bed, to the right, a desk. Two bookshelves are also in the room, lined with various manga. It's a surprisingly organized room, aside from the clutter on the desk and dresser. Akechi had thought Ryuji's room would be an absolute disastrous mess, but it seems he assumed wrong.

Ryuji notices him in the doorway when he's done putting a blanket down on the futon. He stands up and stretches before gesturing to the makeshift bed. Akechi has to admit that with how exhausted he feels, it looks like the most comfortable place he's ever seen.

"Hey, you can put your clothes down wherever, we can wash 'em tomorrow." Ryuji ruffles the back of his head and taps his foot on the ground. "Sorry it ain't much, but you can sleep here, yeah?"

"It's perfect. Thank you." Akechi replies on autopilot as he steps forward, places his pile of clothes on the floor near the futon, and proceeds to fall into the thin cushion. Perfect may be an exaggeration, but for tonight, he'll stand by his word choice.

"Okay. Cool. Glad you like it." Ryuji shuffles in place for a moment, but Akechi doesn't pay him much mind, being face planted into the pillow as he is. "Uh, if you need anything, I'm literally right here. Don't try to kill me in my sleep or anything, haha." Ryuji's attempt at a joke is horrendous, but it makes Akechi smile. He tilts his head to the side just enough to look up and make eye contact with his host.

"I make no promises." He replies cheerily. His smirk is paired with Ryuji's look of horror,and Akechi finds it so amusing he shoves his face back into the pillow to giggle deliriously. He hears Ryuji sigh in relief once he realizes Akechi is joking, which only makes him giggle more. It seems he's reached the point of exhaustion where everything is much funnier than it is.

"Asshole." Ryuji grumbles. Akechi doesn't look, but he swears he can hear a smile in his words. "I'm gonna turn the lights off now, okay?"

"Mmrm-hrrmph." Akechi agrees, muffled by his pillow. He hears a click followed by rustling as Ryuji gets into his bed. He takes the time to shuffle himself under the blanket he was laying on top of, and with some difficulty, manages to avoid tangling himself in it.

"G'night, Akechi." Ryuji mumbles, hardly audible. Akechi merely hums back his response as he nuzzles into his pillow and pulls the blanket comfortably around his shoulders. They smell fresh but somewhat old, like they've been in storage until now. He doesn't mind the musty smell at all; it is amazing in comparison to his own sheets back in his apartment. There's only so many times you can wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night before your sheets start to smell like sweat, and there's only so many times you can tolerate stripping the bed to wash them only to repeat the next day. Akechi learned to live with sweaty sheets. Comparatively these musty sheets are a luxury and easy to fall asleep wrapped in.

Chapter Text

"Did you really think it would be that easy?" Akechi's voice says, but it doesn't come from his own mouth. It takes a moment for him to realize his vision is slightly obscured by the black helmet sitting broken on his head. He looks up at the one who spoke, and isn't surprised to see himself there.

That's right, he thinks, I'm going to die. I'm going to kill me.

Akechi can barely hear the desperate voices on the other side of the wall. He feels like he should say something to them, but he's made his peace. Anything more would be excessive. He raises his gun at his doppelganger who does the same. He watches as his cognitive self smiles that bone chilling, twisted smile.

There's a moment of silence, like the other him is waiting for him to say something. Instead, Akechi pulls the trigger.

Two loud bangs fill his ears and make his head go fuzzy. A searing pain rips through his side, and he feels the scream claw its way up and out of his throat. He curls in on himself, trying to cover the wound. He's going to bleed out, if he doesn't die from the shock first. But neither of those things happen. Instead, a door slams open and a light switch is flicked on, blinding him.

"Ryuji, what is it?" A scared female voice yells into the room. Akechi tries to blink his eyes open but the light is still hurting them. "Wait, what?" The voice is confused now.

"Uh, I can explain!" That's Ryuji's voice. Akechi can recognize that loudmouth anywhere.

"What is this? Who is this? I-" the woman takes a deep breath. "Who was screaming?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am." Akechi sits up despite the continuing pain in his side. He blinks his eyes open and hopes he doesn't look as disoriented as he feels. "That may have been me. I'm... prone to night terrors."

Now that he can see, Akechi can clearly tell that this woman is Ryuji's mother. They have the same sort of facial structure, and she's making the same confused look that Ryuji does when he doesn't understand something.

"I'm- don't worry about it, um." The woman stammers, then her eyes flick to the right at something behind Akechi. "Ryuji? You should have let me know you were having a friend over." The way she went from flustered to stern is impressive. Akechi wonders if that's a "mom" thing. He then forces the thought from his mind.

"Yeah I'm sorry, I kinda forgot. We were both just so exhausted after today and just passed out as soon as we hit the pillows, y'know?" Ryuji rubs the back of his neck, looking away with an uncomfortable laugh.

"What were you doing today that tired you out so much?" Ms. Sakamoto's eyes widen. "Oh honey, your face! What happened?"

Ryuji glances down at Akechi, then back at his mom, then away to the corner, and then back at his mom again.
"Uh. I got in- in a fight and, uh, yeah." He says. Akechi nearly rolls his eyes at the pathetic attempt at lying. Instead, he wears his best apologetic face and looks up at Ms. Sakamoto.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault, really." Akechi ignores the confused "huh?!" from Ryuji. "You see, I'm a bit of a celebrity, though I don't mean to sound like I'm bragging. I just have a few... overzealous fans, sometimes. If it had not been for Ryuji," behind him, Ryuji squawks, "I may very well have been mauled by fangirls. He pulled me away and we ran until we thought we were safe. Unfortunately, we had run directly into a mugging. As a detective, I couldn't let the injustice carry out right in front of me. I was going to try to talk the guy down, but Ryuji was a step ahead of me." Akechi sighs and looks away, embarrassed. "I was so concerned with the victim, the criminal managed to land a few good hits on Ryuji and got away." He closes his eyes and clenches his fist into the blanket. "If only I had been more attentive-"

"Hey, come on man," Ryuji cuts in sounding surprisingly genuine, "you can't blame yourself. The guy got away, but you stopped him from hurting that girl and stealing her stuff, right? I didn't even notice 'em until you said something."

"Wow, it sounds like you had an eventful day." Ms. Sakamoto seems convinced that their story is true. "Are you sure you're both alright? That must have been scary."

"It was nothin'." Ryuji grumbles.

"In my line of work, a commonplace mugger isn't the most threatening of criminals. That being said, a situation like today's could have easily gone much worse. We were lucky." Akechi's attempt at reassuring her seems to have the opposite effect. Now Ms. Sakamoto looks even more concerned.

"I think you're a bit young for 'your line of work.' Kids your age should be studying for exams and hanging out with friends, not dealing with serious criminals."

Akechi's first reaction is anger. He wants to ask her who she thinks she is, telling him what he can and can't do? She doesn't even know him! She has no idea what he's capable of.

Akechi says none of those things.

"Aha, well, perhaps you're right, but in the end, it is my life. I chose this path and I can't imagine being elsewhere." He thinks he did a pretty good job of saying "it's none of your business" in a polite way.

"Of course," Ms. Sakamoto responds, nodding her head. It seems that the message got through to her. "Well, if you two are sure you're alright..." she trails off.

"Just go to bed, mom! We're fine, really. You need to get your sleep." Ryuji says in exasperation. His mother smiles and shakes her head a little.

"Okay, okay. But if you do need anything, I'm just down the hall. Don't hesitate to wake me if there's something you need." She looks at Akechi as she says this with an expression he can't read. It makes him a bit uncomfortable. But then, she's backing out of the room and shutting the door behind her.

Seconds after the light is off and the door clicks closed, Ryuji scrambles out of his bed and kneels on the floor next to Akechi.

"Hey, are you actually okay?" He asks in a terrible whisper.

"I'm fine. What, are you worried about me?" Akechi smirks and leans back.

"Well, yeah! Kinda!" Ryuji replies. "You screamed, man. Like, not even a little yell. It sounded like you were getting killed or something."

Well, I technically was. Akechi doesn't say.

"It was simply a nightmare, nothing to worry your little head over." Akechi reaches over to condescendingly pat Ryuji's head. The blond swats his hand away and, ow, he can smack pretty hard.

"Yeah whatever. Was it, uh, bad?" Even after the condescension, Ryuji looks worried.

"It was a nightmare, idiot," Akechi replies. "Of course it was bad."

Instead of rising to the insult, Ryuji keeps that same worried little frown.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks.

"No. Thank you, but I would really rather just get back to sleep." liar

"Okay, well, if you say so. But if you want to talk-"

"You are not my therapist, Sakamoto!" Akechi hisses, having thoroughly enough. "Why must you insist on shoving your way into my business? Do you even understand the word 'boundaries?' Or is that one not in your limited vocabulary?"

"Damn, fine! Okay!" Ryuji throws up his hands in surrender and goes back to his own bed. "Excuse me for trying!"

"Yes, excuse you!" Akechi snaps back before grabbing the blanket and throwing it over himself as he lay down facing away. It's then that he realizes that the sheets are cold and damp, and dammit, stress sweat is insistent on ruining his life. He ignores it even though the cold is making him shiver and pretends to go to sleep. Truthfully, he doesn't want to sleep. He feels tired, of course, but sleep is something he doesn't do a lot of regularly. He averages four hours a night, what with work and school and his.... side jobs. And that's a generous estimate, the real average could be two hours a night, but he's too tired to think about it.

"Hey, Akechi?" Ryuji asks in a strangely small voice. Akechi grunts to signal that yes, he heard him and yes, he is annoyed. "Why'd you use my given name earlier?"

"I'm spending the night at your house. Isn't that something you do with friends? It would seem strange to your mother if I called you Sakamoto while I'm sitting on your floor in your clothes."

Ryuji coughs, though Akechi doesn't roll over to look at him.

"Yeah, well," Ryuji says shakily. "Doesn't that mean I should call you Goro, now?"

Akechi grimaces.

"No. That's weird," he replies. He can hear shuffling behind him as Ryuji sits up.

"What! How is that fair? You get to call me by my given name but I can't call you Goro?"

Akechi flinches slightly again at the use of his name. God, he hates that.

"Nobody calls me Goro."

"That's cuz you don't have any real friends."

"And you do?" Akechi turns over now to look at Ryuji. Even in the dark he can make out the stunned look on his face.

"What? Of course I do! You've met them all!" Ryuji glares hard, but Akechi sits up. He feels like he's managed to hit a sore spot and he isn't about to let it go now.

"Are you sure they're really your friends, Numbskull?"

"Of course they are! Shut up, what do you know?" The resolve on Ryuji's face is starting to break. Oh, yes, he's definitely hit a sore spot.

Akechi turns more to face the other fully.

"I can't say I know for sure, but what makes you think they really are your friends?" He grins as Ryuji's face falls. "How do you know they aren't just putting up with you for the Phantom Thieves?"

"They wouldnt-"

"They did with me. You were in on that, weren't you? Pretending to like me. What makes you think they wouldn't do the same to you? Clearly they're all capable of it." His grin spreads as Ryuji's shoulders slump more.

"But..."

"Why aren't you with them tonight? Didn't you all complete the palace together?"

Ryuji doesn't respond. Akechi fakes a dismayed gasp.

"Oh, don't tell me- did they leave you there, on the street?"

Ryuji doesn't answer again, but this time he does seem to flinch a little.

"Why would they do that, if they're your friends?" Akechi controls his grin into a look of sympathy. "And with you being so bruised and beaten up, how could they-" something clicks in Akechi's head, and the surprise on his face is genuine this time. "Wait, were they the ones that hit you?"

"They were upset!" Ryuji blurts out, fists digging into his blanket. "In the palace, I did something stupid and nearly got myself killed. They were so upset and they thought I died. When I wasn't dead, they got mad at me for making them worry." He sniffles. "We were all pretty stressed, so I just let em get it out of their system."

"Ryuji..." Akechi says, really laying on the sympathy. "That doesn't sound like something friends should do."

"Yeah? And what would you know about what friends do, Goro?" Ryuji glares at him through the darkness.

"Maybe I don't have any myself, but even I know that friends don't beat up friends and leave them bruised under a lamp post in the middle of the night." Akechi has to admit, though, not all of the sympathy he feels is manufactured. Part of him does feel genuinely sorry for Ryuji, and maybe it's that part of him that makes him get up and sit next to him when he hears the other boy sniffle again.

"Sorry, shit-" Ryuji rubs his face quickly. "No, it's fine. I'm just tired and over emotional right now, that's all."

"It's okay to cry." Akechi reaches over and places a hand on Ryuji's back, like he presumes someone in this situation might do.

"No, it's not. It's effin' pathetic."

"More pathetic than having friends that beat you up?" Akechi expects the shove and catches himself before Ryuji tries to push him onto the floor.

"Fuck you, you're enjoying this."

"It's nice to be able to prove my point for once." Akechi shrugs.

"Your point?"

"Friendship is an overrated concept and I'm better off without them. At least I don't have to deal with betrayal from someone I thought was my friend."

"Don't that get lonely?" Ryuji frowns.

"That's not a big deal. Loneliness is easy." Akechi attempts to dismiss Ryuji's sad expression, but he only gets sadder.

"Man, that is so depressing."

"What, letting others rip me apart is better? Putting myself in someone else's hand and just waiting for them to crush me is better?"

"That's so twisted, that ain't what friendship is like-"

"But it is!" Akechi interrupts. "After tonight you can still say that friendship is pure? You still want to be friends with the people that hurt you? You still trust them?"

"Well, yeah." Ryuji avoids Akechi's bewildered expression.

"How dumb are you?" Akechi leans back and laughs a short, unhappy laugh. "Well, dumb enough to invite a murderer into your bedroom."

"You ain't just a murderer, you're more than what that bastard Shido made you do." The fact that Ryuji is still trying to redeem him would make Akechi laugh if it wasn't so sad.

"Yeah? And how do you know that I didn't enjoy it? Killing." Akechi lets a wicked grin spread across his face. "I shot your precious Joker in the face. I shot him right here." He pokes Ryuji's forehead. The blond leans back to get away and Akechi leans forward to follow. "And it felt so good." Ryuji tries to move a little further away but Akechi moves with him to keep their distance close. "And you know what I did when I got home that night?"

"Shut up, Akechi," Ryuji warns. Akechi pays it no mind, already too involved in the nervous energy the blond is surrounded in.

"I got off on the memory of his stupid fucking head hitting the table with a bloody splat."

The next thing Akechi knows is that he is on the floor and in pain. The back of his head hurts, his back hurts, and the lingering feeling of the gunshot wound in his gut hurts. Still, he grits his teeth into a smile.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Ryuji holds him down hard even though Akechi isn't fighting back. "What do you get out of being such a disgusting piece of shit, huh? Are you trying to get me to beat you up?"

Akechi finds it hard to respond with the wind having been knocked out of him.
"Hah, you're so easy to-" he coughs, "get a reaction out of."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ryuji asks again, but with less ferocity as the first time.

"What do you mean?" Akechi breathes deeply, closing his eyes. "I thought you liked me better when I was being honest. A temper tantrum, I think you called it?" He opens his eyes again to see Ryuji's face, but in the dim light he can barely make it out. "I told you that you wouldn't like the real me."

"This ain't the real you," Ryuji says with such conviction like he knows it for a fact. Akechi thumps his head against the ground to make it ache a little more for a moment.

"What do you know? You don't even know me, and you invited me into your home to sleep on your floor."

"Well I wasn't gonna just let you go off and do who knows what!" Ryuji's explanation makes no sense.

"'Who knows what?' What did you think I was going to do, Sakamoto? Go on a murder rampage around the city?"

"No," Ryuji answers, bewildered. "Why would you go do that, you looked barely strong enough to stand up, dude, that's not what I was worried about."

"Then what? What were you worried about? Please, enlighten me as to what atrocities you thought I'd commit if left alone."

"Well, I mean, you were saying some pretty weird shit back there..." Ryuji's grip on Akechi's shoulders loosens up but Akechi doesn't make a move to overpower him.

"Pretty weird shit?" Akechi repeats and raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah, like, how you were an infection and just a weapon and how it'd be better if you were dead."

"So, what," Akechi speaks slowly, trying to understand. "You were worried I'd... what? Go kill myself?" Ryuji doesn't respond verbally but he lets his head fall forward so slightly. Akechi barks out a single laugh. "Wait, really? You demanded I come with you because you thought I'd go and off myself if I stayed alone?"

"Yeah?" Ryuji sighs and sits back on Akechi's legs, leaving his upper body free entirely. Akechi makes no move to sit up. "I don't know, maybe not exactly, I just didn't think it'd be healthy for you to be alone." He covers his face with his hand and sighs again. "And I didn't really want to be alone tonight either."

Akechi is about to laugh at Ryuji telling him what is "healthy" for him, but the final confession the blond makes turns the tables a bit.

"You didn't want to be alone either? So you thought dragging me along was a good idea?" Akechi stares up at the guy sitting on his legs with a strange, unfamiliar feeling weighing heavily in his chest.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time," Ryuji grumbles.

"Wait," Akechi lifts his upper body up on his elbows quickly, "if you thought I was going to go hurt myself, and you said you felt the same way..."

"Y'don't need to spell it out, dude." Ryuji mumbles from behind the hand still covering his face.

"You didn't want to be alone because you knew if you kept alone you would end up doing something stupid, is that right?" Akechi spells it out.

"You want a medal or something, Detective?" Ryuji finally moves his hand off his face so Akechi can see his scowl in the darkness. "Congratulations, you cracked the case, truly a genius." Ryuji's sarcasm is heavy, as heavy as Ryuji himself is sitting on Akechi's legs.

"What would you have done? If you don't mind my asking." Akechi takes the opportunity to prod. Ryuji had always seemed to be the stupidly confident type, the kind of guy who has no worries because he's too dumb to understand what he should worry about. This is an unexpected development.

"What would I have done if what? If I was alone?" Akechi nods in response. Ryuji sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. "Hell, I don't know. But needin' to take care of you kept me from going into a spiral of shit thoughts, so I'm glad I made you come with me."

Akechi hates to admit it, but he has to agree with Ryuji at least a little. He probably would have collapsed somewhere on the street if he didn't feel the need to keep his appearance up in front of Ryuji. He couldn't show him weakness, so Akechi avoided being weak. Also, as sick as it makes his stomach to admit, he is thankful for Ryuji making him come with him. Even though he's laying on the floor with only Ryuji sitting on his thighs as a blanket, he feels warm and comfortable. Akechi doesn't want to look too deeply into why this is so comfortable.

"You don't need to take care of me. I can take care of myself," Akechi replies grumpily.

"Yeah, right. You sure were taking care of yourself by nearly passing out the second you sat down and by waking up screaming bloody murder. I've never heard of better self care."

"I didn't realize you were this sarcastic," Akechi diverts the conversation. Ryuji actually smirks.

"Huh, yeah. I guess Akira and his sass rubbed off on me, huh?"

Akechi tries very hard to avoid the thoughts of Akira rubbing off on Ryuji that suddenly plague his mind. When he can't, he smacks the back of his head down on the ground again.

"Hey, what- what was that, did you fall?" Ryuji's hands roughly cup either side of Akechi's face and turn his head to the side. One hand leaves to relocate to the back of his head where he's sure a bump must be forming. He winces when Ryuji pokes at it and ignores the mumbled apology.

"Quit playing mother hen." Akechi looks at the guy on top of him with disdain. "I'm fine, now get off me, will you? You're lucky I haven't tried to hurt you. I could do it easily."

"Yeah, whatever man." Ryuji rolls his eyes and stands up. Akechi starts to get up when the other steps away, but then there is a hand extended out to him and he has to take a second to understand what it is he's looking at. He must take a second too long because the hand wiggles a little and Ryuji bends over. "Uh, Akechi? You didn't hit your head too hard, did ya?"

"What?" Akechi shakes off the surprise that Ryuji would extend a hand to him after everything he just said and gets up on his own. "No, I'm fine. Tired." He turns to Ryuji and gives him the same smile he gives anyone when they catch him slipping up and ask him if he's okay. The "I'm just tired" smile. The smile that makes people stop worrying about him. It has the opposite effect on Ryuji, and Akechi wonders if the whole Sakamoto household is full of people who don't react the right way to his "public faces."

"Eeugh, don't make that face, dude." Ryuji cringes.

"What face? I make this face all the time."

"Yeah, and it's effing creepy looking. Like you're some kind of painted doll or something."

Being called a painted doll stings more than Akechi would have expected. It's certainly not the worst thing he could be called, and he's definitely been called worse things before, but it hurts somehow.

"Well what face would you rather I make, then?" Akechi crosses his arms across his chest.

"I don't want you to make any kind of face, man. You should just relax and make whatever face you feel instead of hiding behind your creepy robot expressions."

"People like my 'creepy robot expressions.' What they don't like is my normal expressions." Akechi narrows his eyes as Ryuji sits down on his bed.

"Well, I don't like your creepy robot expressions, and it's better if you just look natural. You don't have to try and look pretty all the time, not here at least. You don't have anybody to impress right now so you can just drop it." Ryuji shrugs like it's simple, and maybe it is. Maybe it can be that simple. Akechi sits down on his own makeshift bed on the floor and thinks about it. Does he ever let himself feel free even if he's by himself? Does he even know what free feels like? Frustrated, he turns and lays his head down on his cold pillow, facing away from Ryuji.

"Uh, did I say something wrong?" Ryuji sounds concerned but Akechi isn't about to roll over and look at him again.

"Everything you say is wrong," Akechi mumbles. It's a wonder Ryuji heard him with how quiet he spoke. But, Ryuji does manage to hear and groans in exasperation in response.

"Your insults are getting lamer and lamer. Maybe you should go to sleep."

"Maybe you should mind your own business."

"Are you going to respond to everything like that?"

"Are you going to continue to say stupid shit?"

"I'll take that as a yes," Ryuji grumbles. Akechi doesn't talk back again, even though the urge to be the one to get the last word in is strong. Akechi can pick and choose his battles, and right now, fighting with Ryuji is second on his list. First place is held by the ever looming threat of either sleeping or not.

Akechi is tired, he'll admit to that. He knows sleep would help. He knows that getting rest is really important after a regular trip in the Metaverse, so after dying there, getting rest would be even more necessary. Yet, at the same time, his sheets and blankets now feel weirdly damp and cold and his shirt is clinging to him uncomfortably. He can't sleep like this, but he's not about to let Ryuji know that he sweat through his borrowed clothes so much that the covers are gross too. Not only is that super disrespectful to his gracious host, but it's also admitting defeat and showing weakness. And it being all because of a nightmare makes it even worse. What kind of baby screams in his sleep and wakes up in a cold sweat nearly every night?

Akechi doesn't think on it for very long, since he is apparently much more exhausted than he first thought. He falls asleep quickly and his dreams are uneasy at best. It's hard to be certain what is going on in this dream, but he knows he feels a distinct sense of danger and fear. No matter what he does in the dream, he can't escape the feeling, like it's weighing down on him more and more until he can barely breathe. He's gasping for air as a shadowy figure shoves his head underwater and holds him down. It feels so real that he chokes on the water flooding his lungs. His hands feebly reach up to fight off the figure above him, but he can't get a grip on whoever it is, like they're made of smoke.

"Akechi!" He hears his name distantly.

"Hey, Akechi! --re you- ay-!" He can barely hear what the voice is saying, but he tries.

"Akechi, Akechi!" The voice says other things, but he can't comprehend anything other than his name.

Then, Akechi's hands grab hold of something soft and warm and alive. He can feel a rapid pulse beneath his thumbs and so he presses into the feeling, chasing after the fast thuds. The voice saying his name stops with a choked sound, and Akechi can breathe again.

"Sto-" the voice chokes as Akechi presses his thumbs more firmly into the pulsing warmth. He presses up and forward, lifting himself up and above the other. The shadowy figure that had been holding him down is now beneath him and starting to become more tangible.

"Go... ro...!"

Akechi blinks the sleep from his eyes and looks down to see Ryuji grasping his wrists trying to pull his hands from around his throat. It takes Akechi another moment to release his grip and sit back. Ryuji coughs and rubs his neck with fear in his eyes.

"Shit, man, what the fuck?" He asks, voice rough.

"What-?" Akechi stammers, looking around the room. He recognizes Ryuji's bedroom and remembers how he got here, but his head hurts with confusion.

"What is wrong with you?!" Ryuji drags himself backwards across the floor away from Akechi.

"I-I don't- what did you do to me?"

"What did I do?! You just tried to choke me! What the hell, man?!"

Akechi doesn't have a response to that. He just stares blankly at the other and continues to try and suck in deep breaths.

"Are you okay, dude?" Ryuji asks next.

"What? Why would you ask me if I'm okay when you-"

"I tried to wake you up cuz you were having another nightmare, I think. You were crying."

"I wasn't crying." Akechi is quick to respond.

"Dude, you were sobbing. You're still crying!"

Dumbfounded, Akechi touches his face. Just as Ryuji said, his cheeks are wet.

"Shut up..." Akechi wipes at his face but despite his best efforts, tears keep falling. His breath keeps coming out in uncontrollable hiccups and he notices that he's also shaking. He rubs his eyes furiously to get them to stop leaking, but all it succeeds in doing is making them burn. "Fuck, ugh," he complains, trying his best to collect himself but finds no success. It's cold, he realizes. Really cold, and he can feel sweat drip down the back of his neck and make him shiver. Then, warmth surrounds him and it takes a moment to realize that it's because Ryuji has moved closer and wrapped his arms around him.

"Don't touch me-" Akechi half-heartedly pushes at the other to get him to let go, but it seems Ryuji only hugs him closer as a result.

"Shh," the blond whispers softly. As loathe as he is to admit it, Akechi finds himself relaxing into the other's embrace. It feels nice.

"Don't-" Akechi tries to refuse the hug, but his body betrays him as his hands grasp the fabric of Ryuji's shirt and pull him closer instead of push him away. It's warm in the other's arms, and while he's still shivering, it's not really from the cold anymore. He can't control the tremors that wrack his body. Ryuji doesn't say or do anything besides hold him close and let him sob into his shoulder. Akechi can hear his heartbeat from where his face is pressed into the crevice between Ryuji's neck and shoulder. It's beating fast and hard, and Akechi wonders if the blond is afraid or excited to be this close to someone. Akechi isn't sure what he himself feels about the situation. It's definitely the closest he's ever felt to another human physically and emotionally at the same time. It's overwhelming in a way that isn't calming him down, but he doesn't want to pull away.

Akechi isn't sure how long they sit there like that, but eventually his breathing evens out and he can mostly keep his body from shivering. Ryuji holds onto him firmly until Akechi finally pushes him away. The blond leans back willingly and gives Akechi some space while the boy rubs the tears off his face.

"I apologize for... that." Akechi eventually murmurs to break the silence.

"It's fine, man. I used to get bad nightmares a lot too. Mom would always hold me 'til I calmed down so I figured, maybe that would help." Ryuji diverts his eyes to the floor. Akechi's shoulders feel cold now without his arms around them.

"Ah..." Akechi isn't sure what to say. He fiddles with the wrinkled hem of his shirt and stares at his knees. "Is your neck okay?" He forces himself to ask.

"Yeah, I'm alright. You got a hell of a grip for someone asleep, though. I uh, really thought you were gonna kill me for real for a second there, ha ha."

Akechi doesn't respond to that. He can't even begin to think of how he would respond to that. He just winces and rubs the soft, slightly damp fabric of his shirt between his thumb and pointer finger. Ryuji is silent as well, save for a soft shuffling noise as he shifts his weight on his knees. Akechi's throat feels tight, and he knows that if he tried to speak all that would come out is a choking noise.

"What was it about?" Ryuji finally breaks the silence after who knows how long.

"None of your business." Akechi mutters.

"Uh, no, actually it is my business now. Maybe I'd let you off the hook if you hadn't tried to strangle me to death, but I think I deserve to know what it was that made you go sleep-killer on me."

Akechi cringes at the harsh tone Ryuji used, but he has to admit the guy has a point. He sighs and curls his legs up to his chest where he wraps his arms around them. He fights off another shiver before he speaks.

"I was drowning, or being drowned. I thought you were drowning me. When I pushed back and grabbed your throat, I don't think, I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew is that the harder I pressed against you, the more I could breathe." Akechi shudders and hugs his arms around himself tighter.

Ryuji doesn't say anything in response right away. He turns away from Akechi and towards his bed, then comes back with his own blanket that he wraps around Akechi's shoulders.

"What are you-"

"You look cold, so here." Is all he says to explain. Akechi can feel the backs of his eyes starting to burn but he won't let himself cry in front of Ryuji again.

"You don't need to do that," Akechi protests, but pulls the blanket around himself tighter anyway.

"I know."

"You don't need to do any of this," Akechi looks towards his unreasonably gracious host.

Ryuji just shrugs and repeats, "I know."

"Why are you-"

"I already told you, it's cuz you needed help." Ryuji sighs, exasperated. Akechi is just as exasperated with that response as Ryuji seems to be with giving it. But, the blanket is warm and his eyes are still burning, so maybe he can just close his eyes, let it go, and never understand this kind idiot beside him.

"You should be kicking me out." Akechi murmurs, which earns a small chuckle from his host.

"Yeah? Where would you even go, huh?"

"After what I've put you through, you shouldn't care."

"Well, I do care, so shut up already." Ryuji yawns, stretches, and returns to his own bed without his blanket. "And c'mere."

That gets Akechi to open his eyes again despite their insistent burning. "What?"

"When I was little and would have a nightmare, I'd go crawl in bed with Mom. Since that's not really an option..." Ryuji pats the mattress next to himself.

"You... want me to sleep with you?" Akechi speaks slowly as if that would get Ryuji to snap out of whatever idiot trance he was in to suggest such a thing.

"What? God, dude, don't say it like that! You can just lay next to me."

"I am not going to share your bed with you, Sakamoto."

"Quit making it sound like I'm coming on to you! I just want you to sleep already so I can get some sleep too!" Ryuji petulantly crosses his arms and stares hard at Akechi. They hold a very meaningless staring competition for a while until Akechi relents and starts to get up.

"Alright. But move over further, and don't complain if I kick you." He throws the blanket from around his shoulders over the both of them and tries to ignore how pleased Ryuji looks. Not coming on to me, right. Akechi thinks. But then again, Ryuji may just be dumb enough to invite the guy who just tried to choke him to share his bed and not have any ulterior motives.

It takes some getting used to, but feeling each breath Ryuji takes next to him actually helps him relax. The warmth radiating off his body also feels nice, not to mention the soft blanket being a huge comfort itself. Before he knows it, Akechi is drifting off. He never thought it'd happen, but after that, he sleeps dreamlessly through the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

When Akechi wakes up, he's miraculously not damp despite being extremely warm. Furthermore, his gut no longer feels like he's being continuously stabbed, but who knows if that will change when he moves. As it is, he decides to keep his eyes closed and his body still. He can feel Ryuji's back pressed up against his own, and he's electing not to think too hard about it. There is nothing intimate about touching butts. Akechi's heart rate increases anyway.

Ryuji shifts against him and presses closer for a moment before moving a little bit away. Then Ryuji does the unthinkable and rolls over. Akechi can now feel him breathing against the back of his head, but at least their bodies aren't touching anymore. Akechi would probably die if he tried to (ugh) spoon him.

Fingers gently brush the hair on the back of Akechi's head and he nearly leaps out of his skin.

"Oh, sorry, did I wake you?" Ryuji's voice is low and sleepy behind him.

"No, just startled me is all." Akechi responds, internally cursing his voice for shaking.

"Sorry, your hair was in my face."

"Oh." Akechi is relieved that Ryuji was not randomly petting him for no reason. Some embarrassing part of him wants Ryuji to do it again.

"Why do you have it so long anyway?" Like Satan answering an unspoken prayer, Ryuji actually does brush his fingers through Akechi's hair again.

"It looks good." Akechi replies simply. Ryuji scoffs.

"I think it looks dumb," he says.

Akechi pulls his head away from the other boy's fingers and rolls over to face him, glaring.

"Who are you to call my hair dumb when you have yours bleached and spiked like some sort of hooligan anime character?"

Ryuji grins.
"At least I don't have girl hair."

Akechi could hit him. He doesn't, but the urge is very strong. "Shut up, it is not girl hair."

"Did I strike a nerve, girly-hair?"

"No, I'm just saying that there is nothing girly about having longer hair."

"Nah, but pair it with your prettyboy face and curvy hips, you could make a very convincing girl." Ryuji looks absolutely insufferable with his grin now, and Akechi has to grit his teeth to keep from punching him. No, he has to keep his cool to be able to use the ammunition that was so graciously just given to him.

"You think I'm pretty and curvaceous, then? Is that why you wanted me in your bed?" Ryuji's eyes widen with that accusation, and Akechi feels a sense of victory when his face starts to flush red as well.

"What- no way, you're taking things way out of context-"

"You know Sakamoto, I have plenty of male fans just like you, so you're not alone."

"I'm not a fan!" Ryuji's voice pitches up in a way that makes it impossible for Akechi to take him seriously. His face breaks into a grin and the laughter bubbles up easily. "You asshole." Ryuji grumbles at him.

"You really set yourself up for that one, Sakamoto." Akechi revels in the glare Ryuji points at him.

"You can get out of my bed now, Akechi."

"No, I think I'll stay. It is rather comfortable." Akechi smirks to himself as he rolls over again, making sure to shake out his hair so that it falls all over Ryuji's face. He feels victorious until Ryuji combats this by collecting a fistful of Akechi's hair and yanking it harshly. "Ow! You toddler, don't pull my hair!"

"Get out of my bed!" And Akechi would if it weren't for the fact that Ryuji was still pulling on his hair.

"Let me go, dumbass!" He reaches behind himself to try and smack at his assailant, but the angle is weird and Akechi only managed to hit him very lightly somewhere on the arm. When Ryuji does let go, Akechi sits up and turns to punch him on the arm.

"Ow, hey, come on! I let go, you don't need to hit me."

"The only reason I didn't retaliate by pulling your hair is because yours is too short."

"Bet you wish you didn't have long girly hair now then, huh?" Akechi does not respond to that verbally. He just rolls his eyes and lays back down facing Ryuji again.

"Hey, I told you to get up." Ryuji whines at him.

"And I told you no. Besides, I don't have anywhere I need to be. I can sleep all day if I please." Akechi closes his eyes and snuggles into the blanket.

"Well, actually. I was thinking..." Ryuji starts hesitantly. Akechi opens his eyes again with suspicion. "I was thinkin' we should have a Phantom Thieves meeting today."

"That doesn't involve me." Akechi says flatly.

"It super does involve you, since you're the reason I wanna have it."

"I'm not going to talk to the others, Ryuji." Akechi pulls the blanket around himself tighter.

"Come on, you have to come show them you're alive, man!"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"It's fine-"

"Really? Because if they beat you up for nearly dying on them, what do you think they'll do to me?"

Ryuji is silent for a moment. Akechi is at least pleased that he's taking the time to seriously think about his concern. He can see the old rusty gears turning in the blond's head. He can practically hear the squeaky sound of the gears grating on each other after years of disuse. Then, finally, Ryuji comes up with a solution.

"Don't worry, I'll be there to protect you if they want to hit you."

The earnest way Ryuji delivers the line somehow makes Akechi more inclined to believe him. Something about the thought of Ryuji defending him, a traitor and a killer, against his own friends makes Akechi want to accept the offer.

"Okay, fine. But it's not going to be pretty, you know." Akechi concedes.

"I know, but neither are we." Ryuji's victorious grin nearly makes the prospect of getting killed by a bunch of teenagers worth it.

We... Ryuji had said. Neither are we. The idea is crazy, but appealing. To be we with somebody.

"Can I use your shower before we go?" Akechi asks.

"Of course, man. I'll get you a towel and a change of clothes and all, since I doubt you wanna put your old clothes back on."

Akechi thinks about it for a moment. On one hand, his clothes from yesterday are surely filthy and wrinkled. Wearing them would make him look like he was doing the "walk of shame," which, considering everything, isn't too far from the truth. However, showing up in front of the others in Ryuji's characteristically bright clothes isn't appealing either.

"Do you have anything that isn't brightly colored and garish?" He asks, starting to sit up and stretch.

"Uh, not really. Pretty sure you own all the khakis in the world anyway, so even if I had bad taste in clothes, I wouldn't be able to get them."

"Can you say one thing to me without insulting me along with it?"

"Hey, same to you asshole. I don't even know what garish means exactly but from what i understand from Yusuke, it means bad and ugly."

"You get the basics of it, then, yes." Akechi stretches and stands up. He's sure his hair looks a tangled mess and he self consciously pulls his shirt down to straighten it out. "I don't even wear khakis that often."

Ryuji laughs behind him as he gets up as well. Akechi stands there while he digs through his drawers to find clothes suitably dull in color. He seems to think for a second before pulling out a dark red t-shirt.

"This good?" The t-shirt says "hell yeah!" on the front of it in English with a graphic of flames in the background behind the words. Akechi makes a face to show his distaste.

"I think I'll just put my old clothes back on, actually."

"What? Come on, I can't believe you'd rather wear dirty old boring clothes that are probably itchy and shit instead of a nice, soft T." Ryuji pouts and shoves his t-shirt back in the drawer without refolding it. Akechi grimaces and turns to collect his clothes from the night before off the floor.

"I'd rather look like myself when the Phantom Thieves murder me today." He starts to leave the room to head to the bathroom when Ryuji stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Wait, don't you need, uh, fresh undies at least?" Ryuji looks hesitant to say it but no amount of embarrassment on Ryuji's end can make up for the horror Akechi feels at being asked such a question.

"What, like I'll wear yours?"

"Well, I mean, I know getting outta the shower and putting on old undies is like, the worst feeling."

"Ryuji, you and I both know there's worse feelings than that."

"Ugh, don't take it so literally! I just mean that it sucks." Ryuji rolls his eyes but his face gets a little bit redder.

"I think I can handle it. Just wait for your turn when I'm done and stop trying to get me into your clothes." Akechi heads back out into the hall and allows himself a small smirk when he hears Ryuji babbling behind him about how "it ain't like that!" He has to admit that teasing the blonde is very fun.

Akechi shuts and locks the bathroom door behind him when he goes in and looks in the mirror. The dark bags under his eyes are more noticeable than usual, which he would normally cover up with makeup but he isn't comfortable with stealing Ryuji's mom's foundation. His hair is just as tangled and messy as he expected it to be. He's really going to have to brush it hard after washing it if he hopes to look even semi presentable in front of the Phantom Thieves.

The reminder of where he's going today settles in his stomach like an anxious rock. God damnit, is there any way to get out of this? He quickly glances around the bathroom but there are no windows he could climb out of. He considers turning the water on and sneaking back out, but he would have to pass Ryuji's room and get out the front door, which would likely end in him getting caught. Then Ryuji might try to restrain him to keep him from running again and that would be even more terrible to deal with.

He then thinks of the Metaverse. Entering from here would be dangerous since he has no idea where it would send him, but it's certainly an escape option. Then he remembers that he left his phone in Ryuji's room. Furthermore, entering the Metaverse right here would suck Ryuji in with him. It might even drag his poor mother into the other world with them because of proximity. That would be another terrible scenario.

So, with a dejected sigh, Akechi starts undressing to get in the shower. The only way he's going to survive this is by maintaining as much of his dignity as possible. And in order to maintain his dignity, he needs to be clean.

A sharp knock on the door nearly makes Akechi fall over while removing his pants. He manages to catch himself against the wall, but his heart is still pounding as he answers.

"Yes?"

"I just realized I forgot to get you a towel," Ryuji says through the door. "Can I come in?"

Akechi looks down at himself, with his pants half removed.
"No," he responds quickly.

"What? Then how am I supposed to get you a towel?"

"Just tell me where they are and I'll get one myself."

"Oh, they're actually out here. I guess I could just hand you one if you open the door a little."

Akechi sighs and unlocks the door to open it a crack. He shoves his hand through the small opening and grabs at the empty air. He hears Ryuji open another door, shuffle around, and then shut a door again and then he feels a rough old towel land in his hand. He quickly withdraws his hand, shuts the door, and locks it again while saying his thanks.

"Did you just lock the door?" Ryuji asks, jiggling the handle. When it doesn't turn, he jiggles it harder. "Why'd you lock it? What are you doing in there?"

"I'm going to take a shower."

"Yeah but like, what if you fall or slip or something? We won't be able to get in and help you."

"This isn't the first time I've taken a shower, Ryuji. I'll be fine."

"I know, but-"

"Listen, it's very sweet that you're worried about me, but I can seriously take care of myself."

"Okay fine! But if we have to bust the door down to save your dumbass after you slip and fall and hit your head, you're going to pay for a replacement door!"

Akechi elects not to respond. He just groans and rolls his eyes. He reaches down to remove his underwear, then glances at the door once more to make sure it is definitely locked. He berates himself internally for needing to check when he knows it's locked, and removes his underwear. He avoids looking at himself in the mirror and steps into the shower.

The water pressure in the shower is terrible, and it takes a few minutes for the water to get warm, but once Akechi is done shivering from the cold, he really appreciates the warmth running over his body. For a few minutes he just stands under the spray and let's the steady but weak pounding of the water clear his mind of everything that's happened in the last 24 hours. It doesn't do a very good job of clearing his mind, of course, since it'll take more than some warm water to get rid of the memory of being shot by a distorted version of himself.

That actually reminds him of the wound he could feel last night. He can't feel it anymore this morning. Akechi looks down at his abdomen and can't find any sign of a mark for where he would have an entrance wound. He runs his hand over his pale expanse of skin and feels no abnormalities whatsoever. He even presses his fingers into the spot where it hurt the worst the night before and feels nothing more than discomfort. How lucky.

Akechi uses Ryuji's shampoo for his hair and hopes that the drop in quality from his usual soap won't make his hair fall out or something. He cleans the rest of himself quickly and washes it off just as the water starts to get chilly again. Part of him hopes Ryuji will still have hot water left to use, but another part of him wants Ryuji to suffer in the cold for making him go meet the Phantom Thieves today.

It doesn't take long to dry off and get redressed, although Akechi is starting to regret not accepting Ryuji's offer of clean clothes. His clothes from last night feel wrong go put back on his clean body, but there's not much he can do about it.

Once his hair is brushed and his clothes are straightened as much as he can get them, Akechi unlocks the door and steps out into the hallway again. He goes into Ryuji's room to find the blond relaxing on his bed with his phone in his hands.

"Oh, hey. You done?" He asks, only glancing up once.

"Yes," Akechi responds. Ryuji continues to type on his phone while Akechi stands there awkwardly holding the pajamas he borrowed to sleep in. "Where should I put your-"

"Oh you can just toss those on the floor. Don't worry about it." Ryuji finally puts his phone down and looks Akechi over once while he gets up. "I was thinking, how far is your place from here? We could drop by and get you a change of clothes so you don't have to wear those." He tilts his chin to gesture at what Akechi currently has on.

"That would be... nice, actually. Do we have time for that?"

"Yeah, I told the others we should meet at LeBlanc for lunch and that I've got important news for them. I didn't tell them what though, so it'll be a surprise." Ryuji looks too excited about this for Akechi's comfort.

"I don't think that's a great idea..." Akechi tosses the clothes in his arms on Ryuji's floor like he was told to. "I mean, I'm not a very happy surprise for them."

"What are you talking about? They'll be psyched to see you're alive, trust me. And if they're not, well, I'll be there."

Again with Ryuji's reassurances. It makes something in Akechi's chest twist uncomfortably, almost painfully. He hates that he likes the feeling.

"If you say so." Akechi shrugs and sits down on Ryuji's bed and picks up his own phone. He's hesitant to look at it, though, so he just holds it.

"Alright, I'm gonna hop in the shower now. You had better have left me hot water, man!" And with that, Ryuji collects a bundle of clothes and leaves the room.

Akechi sits silently in the now empty room for a couple minutes. He hears the water of the shower turn on down the hall and waits a moment longer. Then, he finally looks at the missed messages on his phone.

Only the blank lock screen stares back up at him.

He isn't sure if he's relieved or disappointed to find that he has no missed notifications from anyone. He was expecting Shido to have tried to contact him at least, but maybe he is less aware of things that go on inside the Metaverse than he claims to be. Or maybe he doesn't want to know if Akechi made it out or not. Maybe he thinks Akechi is dead for good. Maybe he's too busy with his own stuff with the change of heart going on to bother.

Or maybe he just doesn't care at all.

Akechi shoves his phone in his pocket and stands up with a scowl. What does he care about Shido's opinion of him? He wanted Akechi dead, or at least his unconscious did. Why should he bother calling or texting Akechi to confirm one way or the other?

Akechi puts on his socks and heads for the front door. He's wasted too much time already moping around while Ryuji is in the shower, he could have nearly missed his chance to escape. Now that Ryuji is occupied, he can just leave with no issues.

Akechi gets to the door and hastily shoves his feet into his shoes. He starts unlocking it and is about to open it when a woman's voice calls to him from behind.

"Are you leaving already?"

Akechi freezes in place, then turns slowly towards the source of the voice. He sees Ryuji's mother sitting on the couch in the living room and staring at him. She has a friendly expression, but underneath it is a stern coldness that makes Akechi lose his grip on the door handle and step away from the door.

"I really appreciate you allowing me to stay here, Ms. Sakamoto, but I'm afraid I don't wish to overstay my welcome. I should really be heading home now." He gives her a polite bow and prays that will be the end of it.

"Nonsense! I can't let you run off without something to eat, at least. Come on, sit down and tell me how you like your eggs." The woman stands up and heads towards the kitchen. Akechi swallows the lump in his throat.

"Really, that's very kind of you but I have plenty of work that I need to do for school and my job so I really can't waste a minute of time to-"

"Oh shush, it's the weekend! You should be taking a break from all that for at least one day. Having some breakfast before you go certainly won't do you any harm."

Akechi opens his mouth to try and argue again, but to his dismay the other Sakamoto now enters the room.

"Mom? What are you doing up? And-" Ryuji then looks at Akechi, standing in front of the door with his shoes on. "Were you gonna run off?"

The hurt in Ryuji's tone makes Akechi feel more guilty than he would like to admit.

"No, I was just-"

"He says he's too busy to stay for breakfast." Ryuji's mom clicks her tongue at him.

Ryuji looks between the two of them, eyes wide. Then he narrows his eyes at Akechi in warning.

"Don't be rude man, come on. I'm walking you home after breakfast anyway so what's the rush?"

Damn that Sakamoto. Damn him for being a surprisingly good lier in front of his mother!

"... I just didn't want to trouble you," Akechi mutters before he slips off his shoes and follows the two into the kitchen.

"You can make up for it by helping me make breakfast, how about that?" Ms. Sakamoto smiles at him like she knows he can't refuse her anymore.

Ryuji ends up sitting at the table and watching his mother and Akechi making scrambled eggs and ham. At least, Akechi is sure that Ryuji is watching them because he can feel his eyes on the back of his head, but every time he looks that direction, Ryuji is staring at his phone. At least Ms. Sakamoto doesn't try to hold any awkward conversations with him. She just hums while cooking and pauses only to give Akechi some simple directions.

When breakfast is finished, the two of them sit down with Ryuji and dish out the food. Akechi purposefully takes less for himself since he really isn't hungry. Nobody seems to notice and soon enough they are all done eating.

"Ahh, thanks for breakfast! Delicious as always mom." Ryuji sits back in his seat and sighs, patting his stomach.

"Yes, thank you for the meal, Ms. Sakamoto," Akechi adds on.

"Oh, thank yourself as well, darling! You did just as much in making it as I did." She smiles at him and he smiles politely back.

"Yeah, thanks for the food, Goro!" Ryuji grins at him and Akechi nearly chokes on his breath at the familiarity.

"R-right. It was nothing." Akechi waves off the thanks as smoothly as he can manage. His heart is still hammering as he takes his plate into the kitchen.

"Oh, let me take care of that, sweety. You've got such a busy day ahead of you, after all." Ryuji's mother steps up beside him and takes his plate from him with a wink.

"Oh, thank you." Akechi steps back and fiddles with his hands for a moment.

"Hey, you ready to head out?" Ryuji asks him. Then, after Akechi nods readily in response, Ryuji turns to his mom. "I'm gonna be out with friends for lunch, so remember to make yourself something, alright?"

"Yes yes, I'm a grown woman Ryuji, I can handle myself while you're out with your friends," she calls back from the kitchen.

"I know! I'm just- ugh, whatever! I'll see you later!"

"Love you, sweetie! Have fun with your friends!"

"Yeah, love you too!" Ryuji blushes a bit as he calls back. The two of them get their shoes on and head out. Once they're out the door, Ryuji shoves his thumbs into his belt loops and slouches. "So do you live far?"

Akechi takes a moment to look at his phone to double check before shaking his head.
"Not terribly far. We'll have to take the train, though." He puts his phone away and starts leading the way.

"That's fine. I'm kinda curious about what your place looks like." Ryuji walks close next to him.

"It's really not much. I hardly spend much time there, honestly."

"Is it nice? I couldn't imagine the public's precious detective prince living in some run down place."

"Yes, I suppose it is rather fancy. Has more space than I know what to do with, but it isn't so expensive that it would be unusual for a high school student with a full time job as a detective to afford. Shido made sure that my residence wouldn't be suspicious." Akechi frowns just mentioning his father's name.

"Oh, I guess that makes sense that he'd pay for it. You are his-"

"Don't say it!" Akechi hisses, glaring at Ryuji before he can utter whatever word he was thinking. Ryuji groans at being cut off, but thankfully drops it. They walk silently for another minute before the blond opens his mouth again.

"Oh, I guess you kinda need to find a new place to live now, since Shido's heart's been changed and he's going to confess all his crimes," Ryuji says, words as thoughtless as ever.

"You really think I'll be able to go anywhere after Shido confesses?" Akechi raises an eyebrow at the clueless blond next to him.

"Huh? Why wouldn't you?"

"I was instrumental in executing Shido's plans, Ryuji. I'll be tried as an adult for murder, and I'll be lucky if the inmates that I put in prison kill me quickly in there."

Ryuji's eyes go wide.
"Th-that's awful! Don't say that!"

"What? It's true. You think he won't mention me when confessing? You think there is any way I can walk away from this and be okay?"

"But, he was using you-"

"Can we stop talking about this?" Akechi asks as politely as he can manage while cutting off Ryuji. This conversation isn't helping the anxiety bubbling in his stomach, and he would really hate to throw up the breakfast he made with Ms. Sakamoto.

"Okay, fine, but I still think you're being too hard on yourself," Ryuji grumbles. Akechi doesn't respond.

They walk the rest of the way to the train station in silence. They board the train in silence. The only thing said between them while on the train is when Akechi lets Ryuji know what station they have to get off on. Eventually, they arrive at Akechi's apartment complex with the air around them heavy with the extended silence.

"So this is where you live, huh?" Ryuji asks, looking around as they enter the building.

"Yes," Akechi replies, calling the elevator.

"It's nice." Ryuji steps into the elevator and leaves his arm over the door for Akechi to enter as well.

"Mm-hmm." Akechi presses the button for the top floor and the elevator doors close, locking the two of them in with their silence weighing them both down.

Akechi leads the way out of the elevator and to his apartment door. He pauses before putting his key in the lock, rubbing his thumb over it.

"What's the hold up?" Ryuji asks, leaning close to him. Akechi shakes his head and shoves the key in.

"Nothing. Come on in," he says as he opens the door and steps in.

The apartment is as empty and lonely as he left it when he went to ambush the Thieves in Shido's palace. He turns the light on and toes his shoes off at the door.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to go change." Akechi gestures to the living room with the large window overlooking the city. The couches are bare and the coffee table is a little dusty. On his way to the bedroom, he passes the dining table and the kitchen, both perfectly clean like a showroom. Behind him, Ryuji oohs and ahhs over the view from the big window. Akechi ignores him and closes himself into his dark bedroom.

The darkness swallows him for a minute as Akechi breathes in slowly. He turns the light on as he breathes out. His boring bedroom greets him. The curtains are drawn tight over the window like always. His bed is perfectly made like he left it. The paperwork he is always surrounded in is the only thing giving any indication that this room is lived in, and even that is confined to his desk. Akechi steps away from the door and starts changing into something more comfortable and, more importantly, cleaner. When he leaves his room to reunite with Ryuji, he is wearing a grey sweater and dark blue dress pants.

"Alright. How long before lunch with the Thieves?" He asks, his practiced polite smile in place. Ryuji looks up at him from his place on the couch and gives him a once-over.

"Do you own any comfortable pants?" He asks.

"These are fine," Akechi responds, smoothing his hands over the slacks. "What time is the meeting?"

"Geez, calm down would you?" Ryuji rolls his eyes. "We've got like an hour before the time I asked everyone to meet. Your place ended up being much closer than I thought."

Akechi sighs and walks over to sit down at the opposite end of the couch. Ryuji turns his body to face him, legs spread comfortably and posture relaxed. In comparison, Akechi looks like he's a stranger in his own living room, sitting stiffly and closed off.

"Sooooo... what do you want to do until then?" Ryuji asks.

"I don't know. Normally I'd fill my spare time with extra work but... I really don't feel up to doing homework right now," Akechi sighs.

"Ugh, that's awful, dude! Don't you have anything you do for fun at home?"

"Not really. I enjoy cycling and bouldering when I have time, but otherwise I keep myself busy with work."

"Don't you watch TV or anything?" Ryuji points to the unused flat screen hanging on the wall across the room.

"I prefer not to watch myself on those TV talk shows, and I don't exactly enjoy watching the news reports on the aftermath of what I do in the Metaverse."

"You know there's more to TV than talk shows and the news, right?" Ryuji shakes his head. "Man, don't you watch any good shows? With your weapons in the Metaverse, I thought you'd be a sci-fi fan. Or with how Robin Hood looks, maybe you're into superhero shows?"

"Well, um," Akechi pauses, feeling his face heat up a little. "I don't exactly... dislike those kinds of things. They just aren't very mature."

"Dude, it's okay to like fun things! You don't need to be miserable to be mature. Besides, what's so great about being mature anyway? You're still a kid, dammit. You don't haveta be mature all the time."

"Don't call me a kid!" Akechi snaps. Ryuji's eyes widen, taken aback by the sudden anger.

"Geez, it's not like I insulted you."

"But you did." Akechi shakes his head, glaring. "I'm not a kid. Just because you don't care about being disrespected and overlooked by adults doesn't mean I want to be too."

"That's your problem, man. Adults are never gonna see you as an equal, no matter how mature you act. Makoto is like, the most mature person I know and even she was stepped all over by the adults she was trying to impress."

"Oh, please don't compare me to Nijima."

"That's not what I'm tryna do! I'm just saying, adults are gonna be shitty no matter what you do. So why not enjoy the things you like? Sci-fi and superheroes included."

As much as Akechi hates to admit it, Ryuji is right. By trying to act like a respectable adult, Shido only ever saw him as a soulless murder puppet. Sae only ever saw him as a child playing an adult role. The media only ever saw him as a pretty face that voiced what they wanted to hear. And when he didn't voice exactly what they wanted, well. The hate he got online told him enough of how they really felt.

Akechi sighs, looking down at his feet. Then he glances over at the TV remote sitting on the coffee table. After a moment, he reaches over and picks it up. There is a rectangular clean space on the table where it was sitting. He turns the TV on and starts to flip through the channels. He eventually comes to an episode of Featherman and he pauses for long enough that Ryuji asks,

"You like Featherman?"

Akechi changes the channel and continues to search.

"No," he says, flipping through channels without purpose.

"Shame," Ryuji says, a tone in his voice that tells Akechi that he knows he's lying. "I like Featherman. It's a solid show."

"Well, if you like it..." Akechi stops flipping and goes back to the show. He puts the remote back down on the same spot he picked it up from, carefully placing it so it fit in the clean rectangle in the middle of the dust. When he looks over at Ryuji, the blonde meets his gaze with a self satisfied grin.

The two of them sit quietly and watch the episode of Featherman. Akechi has seen this one already, and it's not one of his favorites, but it's relaxing to just sit and watch it and let his mind think about something other than his anxiety about the meeting. Eventually, one character does something dumb that gets the others in trouble.

"This must be before his character arc finishes. He would never have done that in later seasons," Ryuji comments.

"Yes. This is one of the episodes just before he really starts to get his development. I like later seasons better for that reason. He's less annoying and his relationships with the other characters are much more interesting when he isn't being used as the dumb plot fodder."

"Don't like Featherman, huh?" Ryuji grins cheekily at him and pokes him with his elbow.

"Shut up. I thought there's nothing wrong with liking these sorts of things?" Akechi refuses to meet his eyes. He misses out on seeing Ryuji's softer smile. It's probably for the best; it might prove too warm and familiar for Akechi's heart to handle.

"Yeah, that's right." Ryuji smiles at him for another moment before turning back to the screen. "It's nice to see you interested in something other than work and the Metaverse."

Akechi doesn't say anything in response to that, but he has to agree with him. It was nice to talk about something other than the serious things he's been talking about for the past few years.

The two of them continue to quietly watch another episode of Featherman as the time to go to LeBlanc to meet the Phantom Thieves ticks closer. Laughing at the silly jokes in the episode with Ryuji feels better than anything else Akechi could imagine doing at this time. By the time the episode is over and it's a little past time to leave, Akechi feels surprisingly relaxed. The feeling doesn't last long as Ryuji picks up the remote and turns the TV off. The feeling is gone when he stands up, stretches, and says,

"Alright, we better get going or we're gonna be super late."

When he puts the remote back down, it makes an X with the clean rectangle it left behind. Akechi decides that it's fine that way. Maybe, if he comes back after this meeting, he'll dust off the table entirely.

Chapter Text

Goro Akechi has done a lot of terrifying things in his life. He's done things that most people have nightmares about doing. But this, meeting the Phantom Thieves in LeBlanc for lunch to surprise them with his very existence, makes all of those things pale in comparison. As he and Ryuji walk into the backstreets where LeBlanc is, Akechi starts to feel overwhelmingly anxious. Once the little odds-and-ends shop comes into view, he's nearly outright panicking.

"Ryuji," he stops his companion with a hand on his arm, "This is a bad idea."

"It's fine! You'll be okay." Ryuji smiles encouragingly and places his hand on Akechi's shoulder. Immediately Akechi shoves it off and glares at him.

"No! I won't! God, why did I let you talk me into this? This is a terrible idea." Akechi groans and covers his face.

"Dude come on, we're almost there. Hey, you can wait in the laundromat across the street while I go in first and let everyone know to be prepared, okay? Then I'll come get you and we'll go in together."

There's that "together" again. Akechi can't fathom why Ryuji is so set on making him do this. But, since Ryuji will be leaving him in the laundromat alone while he prepares the others, that would give him the chance to run away.

"Okay. Let's get it over with." Akechi agrees and starts walking towards the cafe. All he can do is pray that the front window isn't wide open and everyone inside won't see him before he gets the chance to run.

"Really? Awesome, I know you can do it, man. Let's go." Ryuji grins and pats Akechi on the back before leading the way towards LeBlanc. He seems surprised at how easily Akechi agreed, but at least he isn't suspicious.

As the two pass the storefront, Akechi spares a glance at the window. He can see the silhouettes of the Thieves inside but he can't tell if they are looking his way. He quickens his pace and swerves into the laundromat ahead of Ryuji, ducking down behind the machines.

"You really are nervous, huh? It'll be okay man, just stay calm and follow me when I come back out to get you. Okay?"

As much as Akechi wants to destroy him for talking to him like a scared little child, he keeps he keeps his anger to himself and merely nods to agree to Ryuji's directions. The blond gives him a supportive smile and thumbs up before leaving the laundromat to enter the building across the street. As soon as Akechi hears the familiar jingle of the bell on LeBlanc's door, he stands up and peeks around the corner to make sure the coast is clear. The Thieves should all be inside distracted by Ryuji now, which should give him the opportunity to escape.

"Ryuji! Why are you late?! You call us all here and then have the nerve to show up late?!" Akechi freezes as he hears Takamaki's angry voice clear through the slowly closing door.

"Haha, sorry, we kinda lost track of time, so..." That's Ryuji responding. His voice sounds strangely shaky.

"What do you mean, 'we'?" Akechi's blood runs cold when he hears the serious voice of the one and only leader of the Phantom Thieves. He finds himself rooted to the spot, unable to move a muscle.

Shit, he thinks, my window of opportunity is rapidly closing!

"Yeah, that's actually what the meeting's about today. I uh, well. You know what, let me just go get him, that's easier than explainin'." Ryuji opens the door again and quickly walks back towards Akechi. The detective's feet stay in place as if he had been buried there. It's not like he could take the chance to run now, anyway. The ex track star could almost certainly outrun him, even with his injury.

"You ready, bro?" Ryuji asks him, extending a hand. Akechi ignores the offered hand, but he finds himself moving to follow Ryuji anyway as if in a trance. "Come on, we can do it."

Akechi steps inside LeBlanc and pointedly avoids looking at any of the teens sitting at the tables. A series of stunned gasps can be heard, but he refuses to even turn in their direction.

"Ta-da!" Ryuji exclaims, tone-deaf as always. "Look who it is, guys!"

"Is that really-" the younger Nijima starts, barely a whisper.

"-Akechi-kun?!" Takamaki shouts, nearly causing him to flinch. "You're alive?!"

"It would appear to be the case, yes." Akechi mutters at the floor.

"What the hell!" The blonde girl yells again at the same time as Kitagawa asks

"How did you survive?"

"I'm not quite sure of that myself, actually." Akechi folds his hands in front of himself.

"Why are you with Ryuji? How did he find you?" That's the damn cat's voice. The clear disdain for his blond "friend" has Akechi looking up with a glare.

"Well, after you all left him bruised on the sidewalk in the middle of the night, I bumped into him and he offered me a place to stay for the night. That's how he found me." Akechi matches the disdain in Morgana's voice mockingly, sneering at everyone's stunned expressions.

"Hey, don't-" Ryuji places a hand on Akechi's shoulder to stop him from saying more, but the detective shoves it off and turns his glare towards him.

"Oh, don't stop me now. You're the one who insisted I come here! Or are you finally realizing what a terrible idea this was?"

"Akechi, calm down. You don't understand what happened-" That's Akira, trying to explain in his stern "leader voice." Akechi isn't having it.

"No, I understand plenty! I understand that Ryuji saved your sorry lives, and as thanks, you beat him up and left him in the street."

The Phantom Thieves are all silent at that. Ryuji once again puts his hand on Akechi's shoulder, but this time, the detective doesn't shove him off.

"It wasn't like that, man. Don't blame them. They were just upset, I did something stupid and nearly got killed and-"

"Stop defending them!" Akechi snaps, then points at the guilty looking Thieves. "Look at them. They know what they did. They know how they treated you was wrong. And I bet if nobody said anything, they would have gone on pretending it was fine. Maybe if I wasn't here calling them on their bullshit, they wouldn't even be sorry."

"That's not true, we were going to apologise..." Okumura speaks up softly, her eyes averted.

"Were you really?" Akechi asks, looking at them all accusingly. Now that they're the ones avoiding his gaze, he feels like he can look directly at them as much as he wants. "I know how privileged brats like you all work. You pretend like you're all good little boys and girls until you get caught, then it's all waterworks and 'I'm so sorry's! But if nobody catches you, then you keep on going with the same shitty behavior, pushing it to see how far you can go before someone notices what real garbage you are."

"Y-You're one to talk!" Akechi is surprised that Futaba is the one to talk next. She's pointing a shaky finger at him and her expression is a mixture of angry and terrified. Her eyes struggle to stay on him and he can see her continuously glancing away. "You kill- you killed innocent people! You're the reason my mom is d- is gone! So you don't get to call us garbage!"

"Just because I'm bad doesn't mean that you aren't too. At least I've never pretended to be someone's friend so I could use him as a punching bag."

"You did." Kurusu speaks up, and Akechi hates how that bastards voice somehow manages to silence him. "You pretended to be my friend, and then you shot me."

"Fine! We're all terrible people, can we agree on that much?" Akechi snaps, throwing his hands in the air. He expects the Phantom Thieves to keep arguing their innocence, but then the artist speaks up.

"Akechi... might be right, in a way. We were not very good friends to Ryuji." Kitagawa's eyes remain downward cast in shame.

"Come on guys, don't worry about it-" Ryuji tries again to wave it off as nothing, but Takamaki interrupts him.

"No, he's- he's right. I was just so angry at him that I didn't want to think about it, but Akechi is telling the truth." Her blue eyes well up with tears. "Ryuji, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking about your feelings, just about myself. I was a bad friend, and I'm sorry."

"Ann, no, it's-" Ryuji takes a step back, holding his hands up to defend against her sad look.

"I- I'm sorry too! Ryuji, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, and I know I did, and that saying I didn't mean to isn't a valid apology, but I don't know what else to say, I just, I'm so bad at this-" Futaba hiccups and covers her face. "I'm sorry! I'm a terrible person!" She sobs in her seat while Okumura stands up. She folds her hands in front of her and bows deeply towards Ryuji.

"Ryuji, I apologize wholeheartedly for my poor behavior last night! I wasn't thinking about you as my friend, and I took out my emotions on you through violence. It was cruel of me, and I never want to be cruel to someone I treasure so dearly. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me." Haru ends her speech and sits back down with a sniffle.

"Haru, it's fine, of course I forgive you." Ryuji mumbles. Akechi notices his face starting to turn a bright red.

"Ryuji, as a valued member of our team and as my friend, I am also ashamed of the way I treated you. As much as I hate to admit it, Akechi is right. I would have taken advantage of your forgiveness. I will do my best to make sure I am never the one to thoughtlessly hurt you again." Makoto Nijima is the next to deliver a formal apology by bowing to Ryuji. His face turns a deeper red as he rocks on his feet and avoids looking at his friends.

Finally, Akira stands up. Akechi holds his breath, wondering what the leader will have to say.

"I made a promise that I would never stand by and watch injustice... but I broke that promise over and over with you. I watched you get harassed in Shinjuku and I did nothing. I watched the track team beat you up and I did nothing. I watched our own friends hitting you last night... and I did nothing. I've been a sorry excuse for a best friend." Kurusu has a pained expression and his eyes look watery behind his glasses. For once, they aren't reflecting the light in such a way that obscures his face. Akechi can't help but feel like he's intruding on something very intimate. "I want to do better. I want to be there for you like you've always been there for me."

Kurusu steps forward and hugs Ryuji. It takes a second before Ryuji wraps his arms right around his friend in return. Akechi hears Ryuji's muffled sob get hidden in Kurusu's shoulder. He steps back a bit, feeling more than ever like an intruder.

The other Thieves get up and surround Ryuji in a disgusting pile of hugging and crying. Even the cat walks over and winds between their legs. Akechi takes this moment while they're all distracted with comforting each other to sneak away. They're all so involved that they don't even hear the doorbell ring.

The air outside the cafe is so refreshing that Akechi takes a moment to just breathe. He didn't notice while he was in there, but the tension in the air was so thick it was choking him. He walks away from LeBlanc and heads back towards the train station. Now that he's somehow managed to reconcile the Thieves, he feels accomplished. He feels like he can rest for once.

Rest in peace. It is a nice thought, one he's dreamt about for a long time. It's impossible for him to kill Shido now, but somehow it seems less important. Maybe when the Thieves stole his treasure, they stole Akechi's desire for revenge too. He almost laughs at that thought. That wouldn't be possible. It's more likely that being so thoroughly thwarted has put him in such a state that he simply doesn't care anymore. It's... relaxing, to not care. The only thing he needs to do now is wait for Shido's confession and watch the man humiliate himself. He imagines how the old Shido would feel about seeing himself be so pathetic. It's not as satisfying as it would be to sink a knife into his throat, but it would have to do.

Akechi barely makes it past the knickknack shop when he's stopped by a familiar voice shouting his name from behind him. He turns around to see Ryuji jogging after him.

"Ryuji? Why are you coming after me?" Akechi asks, not bothering to hide his surprise.

"What else am I s'posed to do when you run off like that? Where do you think you're goin', huh?"

Akechi sucks in a breath and turns away from the blond. He tilts his chin up in a semblance of dignity.

"I'm going back to my apartment. You've gotten what you wanted, there's no need for me to linger around here anymore. Go back to your friends." Akechi starts to walk forward again but Ryuji grabs him by the arm. Angered, Akechi whirls around to look at him but Ryuji has a painfully open and honest expression.

"They can be your friends too, you know," he says. Akechi scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"I don't want to be their friend."

"What about my friend?" Ryuji asks, not missing a beat.

"What?"

"Aren't you my friend?"

Akechi is going to answer a resounding "no", but something stops the word from leaving his mouth immediately. He opens and closes his lips for a moment before turning away again.

"We are not friends."

Ryuji's grip only tightens on his arm.

"You're still coming back to the group with me."

"Why? isn't it enough that you know I'm alive? You all can live guilt free now! Isn't that what you wanted? Why do you insist on torturing me still?"

"Is that how you really feel? That being around us is torture?" Ryuji sounds heartbroken and Akechi can't bear to look at his face to see his expression saying the same thing.

"Yes. It's clear you all would be better off without me there making everything awkward. I doubt the others will be so ready to forgive me as you seem to be." Akechi sighs. "I've hurt you all, you know. It's... painful to be around people that you've hurt."

"Oh..." Ryuji's grip loosens on Akechi's arm. "I guess I can understand that. But, you still shouldn't be alone all the time. You're an outcast just like the rest of us. I think you belong with us."

"I think you have the incorrect definition of outcast in your mind." Akechi smirks at the ground, gently pulling his arm from Ryuji's grasp. Surprisingly, Ryuji releases him.

"Well, whatever it means. Doesn't matter, I still think that you don't have a lot of people to turn to, and neither did any of us. That makes us the same." Akechi chances a look at Ryuji's face and is nearly blinded by his grin. "You're still a member of the Phantom Thieves, you know?"

"Really? I thought I would have been kicked off the team right around the time I shot your leader in the face." Akechi rolls his eyes, trying to use sass to cover up how his heart keeps doing flips every time Ryuji talks about him belonging with the group.

Ryuji cringes a little at the mention of how Akechi very nearly killed his best friend. Just as the detective thought, it's still something that bothers him despite Ryuji trying to look like he's over it.

"Still..." Ryuji hesitates. He's trying to come up with an argument but can't find one. Akechi takes the win.

"Listen, I think it's best if you all just forget about me. I'll be fine on my own, really. Maybe I'll go somewhere that I haven't hurt anyone yet. Make some friends with people I haven't tried to kill before." Akechi smiles reassuringly. He's lying through his teeth, but maybe Ryuji won't notice that. Akechi has no plans to go make friends or anything like that. After Shido confesses, Akechi has nothing left. From the begining he's always planned on dying along with his old man. End the mess that is his family line once and for all.

But Ryuji doesn't need to know that.

Somehow, though, Akechi's reassuring words and smile are not having the intended effect on Ryuji at all. His eyes are narrowing suspiciously and his mouth is set in a frown.

"You're doing that thing with your face again. You're lying aren't you?"

Dammit! How can someone so dumb be so good at reading him? Akechi lets himself scowl, no need to keep the lie going.

"Fine. I don't have a plan to do that at all. I just want you to leave me alone. I'm sick of standing here talking about whether or not I deserve to be in your little group when I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

"Well damn, you don't have to be so rude." Ryuji scolds him but he looks pleased.

"You're the one that told me to be honest, don't get mad at me for doing what you want." Akechi rolls his eyes. "Go back to your friends already. I'm sure Kurusu is standing right around that corner eavesdropping on us right now. Don't keep him waiting."

"They won't be happy if I go back without you."

"They won't be happy if you go back with me either. It's me we're talking about." Akechi can't imagine anyone being happy to see him.

Ryuji sighs, but from the way his shoulders are slumping it looks like he's giving in.

"Fine, if you're so dead set on being like this..." He sighs, but then immediately straightens back up. "But you have to promise me that you'll come hang out with us another day if I let you go today!"

"Yes, fine, whatever. Can I go home now?" Akechi has no plan on keeping that promise, he's just ready to say anything if it means getting to leave.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll tell the others that you're overwhelmed and shit and had to go home."

"I don't care what you tell them," Akechi says as he starts to walk away again. He's half expecting Ryuji to grab onto him again to keep him from leaving, but nothing touches him.

"Whatever, aloof ass. Text me when you get home safe," Ryuji calls after him. That little reminder of how Ryuji actually inexplicably cares has Akechi's cheeks heating up and he's glad to be facing the other direction so Ryuji can't see. Akechi grunts back a noncommittal noise in response and keeps walking.

The trip back to his apartment feels longer than leaving it felt. Maybe because on the way to LeBlanc he had Ryuji to distract him, or maybe because he was distracted by the anxiety eating away at him. Either way, now Akechi has no distractions aside from the boy and the girl in the same train car as him who are very obviously staring at him. The train makes a stop and as people get off, the pair move closer to him. Akechi inwardly groans but outwardly smiles as they approach him with intent.

"Akechi-kun? Is that really you?" The girl asks, wide eyed. "My boyfriend and I are huge fans! It is so cool to see you in person."

"Yeah, we watch every single show you're in. So cool to see someone our age be a real detective!" The boyfriend speaks excitedly and Akechi resists the urge to roll his eyes at them. "But, we noticed that you haven't been in any shows lately. You haven't been posting online either, is everything okay?"

The couple's "concern" is laughable, and after the day he's been having, Akechi almost does laugh in their faces. Instead, he smiles sadly and shakes his head.

"Oh, I apologize if I've worried you! I have just been very busy lately and haven't had much time for talk shows or leisure." It's not entirely a lie. He's been very busy with trying to kill the Phantom Thieves once and for all and with nearly dying himself.

"Oh, are you getting closer to catching the Phantom Thieves?" The boyfriend's eyes practically sparkle. "Who do you think they are? Can you believe the calling card they did for Shido?"

Oh yeah, that's right. Akechi hasn't seen that yet. It must be all over the internet, surely. It's probably just as lame as all their other cards, but he should probably check it out considering it's supposed to detail all of Shido's crimes. That at least holds some level of personal interest to him.

"Right? Can you believe they actually made a video of themselves?! And they sounded so young!" The girlfriend starts blabbering away. "Wouldn't it be crazy if they were our age too?"

One thing catches Akechi's attention in her words, though. Video? They never did a video calling card before. What were they thinking? Did they want to be caught and recognized? Akechi absolutely has to watch it now.

"Yes... That would certainly be interesting..." Akechi mumbles noncommittally. He can't be bothered with answering these two random people seriously, he's too busy thinking about where he can find footage of this video calling card. He supposes he can ask Ryuji; the idiot probably has it saved on his damn phone. Though, he's prefer not to contact the Thieves at all. It's probably on YouTube or something anyway. No need to go crawling to Ryuji for help at all.

"Oh, this is our stop. It was really amazing talking to you, Akechi-kun! Bye!" The train stops and the boy and girl get off and thankfully leave Akechi to his pondering. If he knows anything about Shido's PR team, and he does know a lot about Shido's PR team, then it's likely they've already taken down every repost of the video they can find. Akechi shakes his head. It's useless to just think about it. He'll have to look when he gets back to his apartment. Worst case scenario is that if he can't find it on his own, he'll ask Ryuji. As much as he hates to ask for help, that scenario is not terrible. He has to text Ryuji when he gets home anyway, after all. Even though Akechi would really prefer not to, it would be less troublesome to just do it than have Ryuji pester him until he responded.

After what felt like forever, the train reaches Akechi's stop and he can walk the short distance back to his apartment. When he opens the door to the place he calls home, the familiar emptiness greets him. The quiet of the room feels odd after a day filled with such noise. Akechi locks the door behind him, takes his shoes off, and sits down on the couch. As soon as he sinks into the cushions, it hits him just how exhausting this day has been. He could sleep for years if his body would let him. Unfortunately though, Akechi still has much work to do before he can rest, starting with letting Ryuji know that he got home safely.

He stares at his messages for an unknown amount of time. He hasn't private messaged Ryuji before, and the blankness of their previous correspondence is a little daunting. He's not sure how to word his first text to Ryuji. Should he make it official with a greeting? But starting it with "Hello, this is Akechi." seems like something Ryuji would make fun of him for saying. No shit it's Akechi. But at the same time, just saying "I'm home." is too strange of a first text to send. He must continue to stare at the screen for far too long because suddenly the blank space in front of him pops up with some words.

Ryuji:
hey man, dont forget to tell me when you get home!

Akechi doesn't want to admit it, but Ryuji just saved him from who knows how much longer of staring at his blinking typing cursor. Akechi replies with ease.

Akechi:
I am home.

Ryuji:
you forgot didnt you

Of course Ryuji is quick to respond. Akechi can almost see his stupid, teasing smirk.

Akechi:
No, actually, I did just arrive home not long ago.

It was over ten minutes ago, but Ryuji doesn't need to know that.

Ryuji:
uh huuuuh

Akechi feels his eyelid twitch in annoyance at Ryuji's mocking text. He can almost hear the dumb blond's voice in his head and see his stupid brown eyes rolling above his grin. That guy smiles way too much to be normal, that's for sure. He exits his texting app and goes to search for Shido's calling card. As he expected, nothing shows up at first search. He tries to use vaguer searches like "Masayoshi Shido" and "calling card" and "Phantom Thieves" but still nothing tying them together shows up in his searches. The PR team must be really hard at work after all. He would have to do some deep digging to find anything, and he isn't sure he has the energy for that.

Just as Akechi is about to go back to his messages to shamefully ask Ryuji for a copy of the video, he gets another message from a different contact. Just seeing the name come onto his screen freezes him in place.

Akira:
Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I am really glad that you are alive.

Akechi stares at it for about five minutes before blocking the contact and putting his phone face down on the couch.

Chapter Text

Akechi steps out of his bathroom with his face buried in his towel. He had washed his face about five times over and it's only made his eyes look puffier. Thank God he doesn't have to go out anywhere else today because he seriously can not handle looking like he just sobbed his eyes out.

Which he didn't.

He returns to his phone on the couch and cautions a glance at the screen. No new messages, thank God. If he had gotten another heartfelt message from someone he tried to kill, he would probably have to throw his phone out the window.

Akechi sighs, drapes his towel around his neck, and walks to his bedroom. Spending ten minutes doing something that is definitely not crying in the bathroom can be rather exhausting. Akechi's bed is beckoning him, despite him knowing that he'll just have a terrible nap and wake up feeling less rested and sweaty. Yet still, he finds himself faceplanting into the pillow. He blindly reaches over and plugs his phone in, leaving it face down on his night stand. He also makes sure to leave it on silent, though he gets the feeling that nobody will be messaging him anyway.

Actually, now that he thinks about it, it feels pretty strange to be so unpopular once again. There was a time that he could barely get a second's rest because he was so busy with detective work, Shido's work, and keeping up appearances with the media. He feels a bit like a nobody again. Shido most likely won't be contacting him, not that Akechi would want to answer if he does. He's been missing from his detective work for who knows how long now, and nobody has bothered to find him yet. With the ever growing popularity of the Thieves vs his own dwindling popularity, nobody really cares about his media presence anymore. He could disappear entirely if he wanted to. He practically already has. Instead of comforting him, the thought twists his chest up painfully. Akechi curls into a ball on his bed and holds himself, breathing deeply to calm down.

Like this, it's easy to recall the feeling of Ryuji's arms around him. Akechi hugs himself a little tighter. Nobody had ever held him like that before. Even his own mother rarely touched him before her untimely demise. But Ryuji, Ryuji just grabbed him and held on without hesitation or embarrassment. He held on and didn't let go even though Akechi cried on him. He even stayed when Akechi said awful things to him.

Well, he reasons, Ryuji is an extremely strange guy.

Akechi's traitorous eyes glance over at his phone again. No, he can't let himself think about doing something so pathetic as calling him. What would he even say? "Hey, it felt really nice to hug you and I want more?" No way could he ever say that! Hell, he can barely even think those words without feeling like he could throw up. Akechi squeezes his eyes shut and curls up further into a ball. He thinks maybe if he curls up small enough he could disappear from existence entirely. Just become another atom floating in the universe. Less than a speck of dust in the air.

The thought of floating in nothingness calms him enough to relax his tense body. He imagines himself as just another part of the nothing, and eventually he starts to feel that way too. His bed pressing back against his weight fades away into a feeling of weightlessness. There is nothing surrounding him. No blanket, no bed, no clothes, no skin, nothing. Just a fading consciousness in the open air.

A jarring alarm startles Akechi awake. His ears ring with each blare of the siren. Groggily, he wills his body to move. His limbs are stiff and his face is wet from the puddle of drool he's left on his pillow. His eyes barely manage to crack open to look at the source of the awful sound. His hand reaches up and slaps at his phone a couple times before managing to grab hold of it and bring it down to his face. The bright screen blinds him as the time flashes angrily at him to turn off the alarm. He turns it off and silence fills the room again. The blaring sound echoes in his head as he groans, rolling over onto his back to look at the ceiling.

The room is dark, with light just barely coming in through the window. It takes him some time to regain full control of his brain enough to figure out that it must be morning. The alarm was the one he has set for school, of course. He really doesn't feel like going to school today. He really doesn't feel like calling in sick, either. He decides that the school can just deal with a no show. Akechi has a pretty great reputation there, so he's sure he'll be able to talk his way out of getting in trouble for missing a day with no warning later. He really doesn't want to have to do that, either, but it's a problem he can leave for future Akechi to deal with.

His stomach grumbles and reminds him that he has not eaten anything since yesterday morning. That's a problem he can't just let future Akechi deal with, although it's tempting to just ignore his hunger and try to go back to sleep. It's so tempting that he tries to do just that, but the second he turns his head back into his pillow, a cold, wet spot greets him. The grossness of rolling over back into his drool puddle is enough to convince him to just get up.

But damn, if the stiffness in his limbs is anything to go by, he must really have been conked out. He didn't even move around while asleep. He finds himself feeling envious of that previous state of complete and total unconsciousness. Being awake is so tiresome.

He re-checks the time on his phone and is surprised to see that his home screen is not empty. There is a single notification; a text message thread from Ryuji.

Ryuji:
hey man, I know it's kinda late but I was wondering...

do you wanna hang out after school tomorrow?

it'd just be us, no other Phantom Thieves

There is a time gap between the messages here.

you don't have to say yes btw

I was just thinkin it'd be nice to have some company?

if you want. it's fine if you don't

Akechi sighs at his phone, putting it down again. He highly doubts that Ryuji is up this early, so he can put off responding for a while. Since he's not going to school today Akechi has time to do whatever he wants to get ready for the day. Hell, he could even just not get ready at all. Though, the rapidly drying drool on the side of his face and the tangles in his hair are commanding him to clean up at least a little. He's also still wearing the clothes from yesterday, which are not very comfortable to lounge around the apartment in.

Akechi decides to go take a shower, and it's nice to have the familiarity of his soaps and usual water pressure. He doesn't linger in the water, since his stomach is starting to hurt from lack of food and his head also starts to feel a bit woozy. He gets out, puts on his most casual clothes, and heads to the kitchen. He ends up tossing a bag of rice in the microwave and eating straight from the bag when it's done. You're meant to add ingredients, but he's too lazy for that today. The breakfast is bland, too hot, and kind of mushy, but Akechi never really cared much about the quality of his food anyway. He's not eating this breakfast to have a forced conversation about it later, he's eating so he doesn't get sick.

When he's done eating, the sun has risen and it's around the hour he assumes most average high school students get up. He goes to his phone and decides to reply to Ryuji.

Akechi:
No Phantom Thieves business today?

He sits down on his couch, turning the tv onto the news while he waits. The response comes surprisingly quickly, within ten minutes.

Ryuji:
I dunno, Akira usually tells us at the end of the day what we're doin

Akechi rolls his eyes. If Ryuji doesn't know what the plan is, how does he expect to make plans anyway? Idiot.

Akechi:
Kind of rude of you to invite me out while not even being sure if you'll be free, don't you think?

Ryuji:
nah, not like we got any deadlines coming up. I can just tell em I'm busy today

That throws Akechi for a loop. Ryuji would ditch a Phantom Thieves meeting to hang out with him? That's kind of... Akechi isn't sure what to call it, but it makes his chest flutter.

Akechi:
Don't shirk your responsibilities.

Ryuji:
relax! it's no big deal

like I said, there's no deadlines so we can take a break from Phantom Thieves business for one day

Akechi:
It's amazing how any of you got anything accomplished with how flippant you all are.

Ryuji:
haha yeah

soooo does this mean you wanna hang out?

Akechi:
I never said that.

Ryuji:
right. so should I bring some snacks to your place or do you wanna go out?

Akechi sighs, furrowing his eyebrows at his phone. This conversation is... confusing. Why does Ryuji even want to hang out with him anyway? And why is Akechi actually considering it? Why isn't he shutting this conversation down immediately?

Akechi:
I'd prefer to stay in today.

Ryuji:
that's cool, we can sit around and watch Featherman again or something

Akechi:
I still haven't said that you can come over.

Ryuji:
haven't said no either

Akechi pauses at that. Ryuji has a point. Again he asks himself, why isn't he shutting this down??

Akechi:
If you're bringing snacks, I like salt and vinegar chips.

Ryuji:
really?

Akechi:
What?

Ryuji:
nothin, just figured you'd be more of a sweets kind of guy and wouldn't like strong flavors like that

Akechi:
Sorry to disrupt your perception of me.

Ryuji:
dude no, I'm glad you're bein honest

it's cool to find out about things you actually like instead of just things you pretend to like to make yourself more popular

anyway I gotta get ready for school now or I'm gonna be late, but I'll see you later?

Akechi:
If I say no, will you show up at my door anyway?

Ryuji:
quit actin all aloof, you wouldn't be talkin to me if you didn't want me to come over

I'll see you after school

Akechi leaves the message on read and doesn't bother responding. Ryuji already knows, so confirming his accusations won't do anything besides be embarrassing. Besides if there's one thing Akechi is good at, it's keeping his true feelings ambiguous even to himself.

He sighs again, putting his phone down and redirecting his attention halfheartedly to the tv. The weather will be cloudy with a low chance of rain until the weekend where they predict a thunderstorm. The temperatures are a series of numbers that Akechi doesn't pay attention to, but the point is that it'll be chilly. He's really not watching it, his mind still stuck on Ryuji. Dealing with him is exhausting, and yet here he is, trying to think of a way to pass the time until he comes over. Should he tidy up? But there's nothing to tidy. Find something for the two of them to do together? Not much around the apartment to do either. In the end Akechi just continues to mindlessly watch the tv and barely process the images and words being shown to him.

That is, until the mention of his father's name snaps his mind back into focus. Akechi watches as the news completely disregards the fact that the Phantom Thieves publicly threatened Shido, and speaks only good about him. It makes him sick to see that people still support him even after he was called out by the Thieves. Everyone knows that when they get a calling card, days later they will confess. The news should be speculating on his confession, not completely ignoring the threat to only speak good of him! He starts to seriously feel sick so he turns the tv off, returning the room to silence once again. Shido's confession will be coming soon, and he will fall far from his former grace. He can't expect everyone to turn on Shido just because of a threat.

Except, people turned on Akechi for much less than that. Shido has so much support from the masses and Akechi never had anything resembling the same. Sure, he had fans and a few fanatics, but they turned on him so fast when the Phantom Thieves gained popularity. If Akechi had received a public calling card, he has no doubt that all of his former fans would be calling for his blood. But surely once Shido publicly apologizes for his crimes, then they will hate him. Still, a creeping feeling of doubt eats away at Akechi's insides.

Shaking away these thoughts, Akechi stands up and decides to clean. His apartment is rather dusty in places he doesn't frequent, and he has enough time to clean it for once, so why not? It's not like he's trying to make the place look better for Ryuji. He's seen the dirtiness of the blond's house first hand, he has no room to judge a little dust in Akechi's house. Not that Akechi would care even if he did judge the dust. Ryuji's opinion of him and his living space means nothing. Why is he even still thinking about this.

It takes longer than expected for him to find a duster. After a while of searching, he has to wonder if he even owns a duster. He doesn't remember buying one, but surely he must have cleaned when he first moved in, right? He spends a bit longer searching the same places he's already looked before giving up and going to the convenience store to buy a new one. If he ever had a duster, it's been lost to the unknown.

Going to the convenience store feels strange somehow. It's so mundane, a trip he's taken a lot of times when he realizes he's out of microwavable meals. But there's something about this trip that makes it feel unfamiliar. The buzz of the fluorescent lights above seems overly loud and the tinny music coming from the speakers sounds jumbled and wrong. The other shoppers barely glance at him but he feels like there are eyes crawling all over his body. Somebody walks up and grabs something from the shelf near him and he almost jumps out of his skin. They give him a strange look and leave for another aisle. Akechi shakes his head and starts to search for what he wants. It doesn't take long to find a cheap duster. He takes it up to the counter, pays, and goes home.

Getting back into his apartment feels like a relief. Akechi has no idea what that was all about. He's never felt so alien in a place he frequents before. It was like he wasn't supposed to be there, like the world was trying to tell him to get away from it. He wonders if it has something to do with the fact that he should logically be dead. Maybe the world really was telling him that he shouldn't be out in public with living people.

Doing the actual dusting takes longer than Akechi anticipated. He ended up sneezing quite a lot, but by the end of it, the surfaces look clean. The same can't be said for the poor duster, which had looked pristine before he used it to dust his whole apartment. He considers just throwing the whole thing out, it looks so gross. It's not like it was an expensive buy, but then again he shouldn't be frivolous with money when his main source of income is about to confess his crimes to the world. That will maybe be the only downside, though Akechi isn't exactly fond of his dirty money either.

His phone buzzes on the couch where he tossed it before he started cleaning. Akechi picks it up and sees a message from Ryuji.

Ryuji:
ughhh this day is goin so SLOW

Akechi:
Shouldn't you be in class?

Ryuji:
yeah but its boring

Akechi:
Pay attention in class, Ryuji.

Ryuji:
oh come on don't be lame!

wait, aren't you in class too??

Akechi:
I'm taking the day off.

Ryuji:
you're totally ditchin, aintcha

Akechi:
I just feel like school isn't at the top of my priorities right now. I died the other day, you know.

Ryuji:
you rebel. knew you weren't just some goody two shoes

Akechi:
I figured the murder would have cleared that up, but okay.

Ryuji:
do you gotta keep bringin that up?

Akechi:
Just making sure you remember that the golden boy detective was all a lie, and that I'm actually quite awful.

Ryuji:
I dunno, golden boy detective you was pretty awful too

Akechi:
You really hated that version of me, didn't you?

Ryuji:
yeah kinda

I mean you were just so clearly fake, it pissed me off

Akechi pauses for a moment, looking over that message. And here he thought Akira was the only one who saw through him from the begining. In a way, it makes him happy that Ryuji saw that his pleasant boy facade was fake and hated it.

Akechi:
You know, I think you're more perceptive than people give you credit for.

Ryuji:
thank you!!

Akechi smiles softly at his screen. As soon as he catches himself doing it though, he schools his expression back into neutrality.

Ryuji:
oh shit, gotta go. hirutas givin me the stink eye

Akechi:
That's what you get for being on your phone during class.

When, predictably, no follow up message comes, Akechi puts his phone back down on the couch and sits down as well. At this point it's a little past lunch. He doesn't exactly feel hungry, so he just stays on the couch. To pass the time, he turns on the TV and switches it over to a children's channel. It's the only place he can be relatively certain that Shido's ugly face won't pop up.

After a few episodes of some magical girl anime where the power of friendship saves the day every single time, Akechi's phone goes off again. He checks it as the magical girl goes through her 30 second transformation sequence for the second time this episode.

Ryuji:
FINALLY!!!

I thought the day would never end

Akechi:
That excited to see me, huh?

Ryuji:
no it's nothing like that! im just sick of school is all. and it's soooo boring without Akira here

Akechi:
That's right, he's still "dead" isn't he?

Ryuji:
yeah, he's stayin in hiding til shido's change of heart.

Akechi:
That's a good idea. Until he's confessed, none of you are safe.

Ryuji:
well that doesn't make me nervous at all

Akechi:
He's a dangerous man, nervous is what you should be feeling. I wouldn't put it past him to use his last moments of clarity to order a hit on all of you.

Ryuji:
stop scarin me!

Akechi:
I'm just being honest. I thought you like it when I'm honest.

Ryuji:
not when it's scary!

anyway, I'm on my way over now. see you when I get there!

Akechi puts his phone down again and sighs. Ryuji really is coming over. Willingly. To hang out. Frankly, it's unprecedented. Still, Akechi can't help but feel a little excited about it.

It takes a while for Ryuji to actually arrive, though. Long enough that Akechi wonders if maybe he changed his mind. He half considers texting him to see if he's still coming over, but knowing how pathetic that would make him look keeps Akechi from making that mistake. Then, finally, there's a knock at the door. Akechi stands up quickly from his spot on the couch and hurries to the door. He stops just before opening it. If he opens it too fast, that would make it seem like he's excited. He waits a couple moments longer before opening the door.

He is greeted by Ryuji with armfuls of convenience store bags.

"Hey man! Sorry I took so long, I went back home real quick to grab some manga and change out of my uniform. Then I went to the store and couldn't decide what all to get so I got a bunch of stuff." He pushes his way inside before Akechi can bother to invite him in. He almost loses his balance twice trying to toe his sneakers off without using his hands before Akechi offers to take the bags. "Oh yeah sure, here. Put em where you want em." Akechi takes the surprisingly heavy bags and quickly puts them in the kitchen counter. He's greeted by a plethora of snacks. Not only did Ryuji get his salt and vinegar chips, he got several bags of them, as well as plenty of other assorted snacks.

"Ryuji, what makes you think I need all this?" Akechi asks from the kitchen as Ryuji takes off his shoes at the doorway.

"I dunno, you seem like the type that doesn't leave a lot of snacks around to just munch on." Ryuji joins him in the kitchen, pulling a large bottle of soda out of one of the bags. Oh, so that's what made it so heavy. "Also got you something fun to drink since you also seem like you only ever drink coffee and water."

"So? I don't need you to fix my eating and drinking habits with junk food."

"Nah, but I wanna. You don't gotta change your habits or anything, just have a little snack occasionally. Treat yourself."

"I've done nothing to deserve to treat myself for it."

"You don't gotta do anything to deserve it. It's snacks, you just eat em." Ryuji shrugs, then seems to remember something. "Oh that's right! I also brought you some manga from my collection. I dunno if you've read any of these already but I figure if you like one, I can lend you a few at a time."

"Why would you do that?" Akechi asks, genuinely perplexed.

"Because you don't have a lot to do around here, and if it's dangerous for us to be out and about, it's probably dangerous for you too. You might haveta hide out here or something. These will keep you from dying of boredom!"

"This place is payed for by Shido. If he wants me dead, he will undoubtedly get me if I stay here." Akechi points out.

"Oh shit, that's true, isn't it! Dammit, but then, what're you gonna do?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure it's fine. He hasn't killed me yet so I think I'm safe." It's a bit of a lie, but he doesn't want Ryuji to keep worrying about him.

"Still... you should probably lay low. You're the one that said that he might use his last moments before the change of heart fully takes place to exact revenge."

"It's not like I have many other options. I have some money in savings from working as a detective, but that wouldn't last me very long if I got my own place and had to pay for it."

"Ugh, I guess you've got a point..." Ryuji pouts like he's still thinking really hard about it.

"Stop worrying about it, it's not a problem that we will solve right this second." Akechi quickly tries to cut off this conversation. If it were to keep going, they'd just circle forever. He puts the bottle of soda in the fridge and grabs a bag of chips. He then leans against the counter and pops the bag open. "Show me the manga you brought, I can't tell you how shitty it sounds until I know the basic premise."

"Hey, stop judging my manga before you even see it!" Ryuji shouts back. Akechi just smiles and puts a chip in his mouth.

Ryuji brought 5 different first books of manga for Akechi to read. Surprisingly, a few of them sounded actually rather interesting. That could also just be due to the fact of how excitedly Ryuji explains each one. Seeing his enthusiasm for each book definitely helps make them look better. His grin when Akechi says that he'll try reading one is blinding.

"If you like it, I'll bring more of the series tomorrow! I really do think you'll like it though, it's got mystery and hacking and murder, it's super cool." Ryuji excitedly hands the book over.

"You explained all that already." Akechi points out with a smirk as he takes the book with the hand that isn't chip greasy. It does look interesting, and the cover art is nice as well. The character design looks a little bland, but things like these usually focus more on the story than on how cool it looks. Sometimes manga will throw in wacky and unique looking characters just to be eye catching. This doesn't appear to be the case for this book. He can't be sure about the rest of the series, of course, but for now the lack of flashy characters appeals to Akechi. He puts the book down on the counter and picks up his chips again.

Ryuji gives his chip bag a disdainful look, then brings his eyes up to give the same look to Akechi. "I don't know how you can eat those. They're like, designed to hurt your mouth."

"Maybe that's why I like them. Maybe I'm a masochist." Akechi replies nonchalantly.

"Dude."

"That's a joke. Obviously I'm more of a sadist if anything."

"Dude."

"Of course the two aren't mutually exclusive," Akechi goes on to explain, a smile forming on his face at Ryuji's obvious discomfort. "It is entirely possible to take pleasure in both hurting and being hurt-"

"Dude, stop. Just, stop. Come on, man." Ryuji shakes his head at him with a mixture of pain and disappointment on his face. Akechi bursts out laughing at it. Then, soon enough, Ryuji is laughing too. It doesn't last long, but for a moment, Akechi feels something akin to comfort standing with Ryuji in his kitchen while they laugh like idiots together.

"Okay," Ryuji says, a little breathless from laughing. He grabs himself a bag of chips and opens it, starting to head over to the living area. "What do you wanna do? Looks like you were watching..." Ryuji looks at the magical girl anime still playing on the TV. Akechi cringes, realizing he really should have turned that off before Ryuji got here. "Dude, this show is like, for ten year old girls."

"I was watching something else earlier. This must have just come on." Akechi tries to explain while he follows Ryuji in. The blond gives him a look that clearly says he doesn't believe that.

"Uh huh." He says, with extra sarcasm. Akechi shoves past him to sit on the couch.

"Believe whatever you want." He snaps as he grabs the remote. He starts searching through the channels for something decent to put on.

"Hey man, there's nothing wrong with watching a show for ten year old girls." Ryuji sits down next to him, making himself quite comfortable. He says that, but his face still looks amused.

"I was barely paying attention to it anyway. I just had it on to do something other than stare at the wall." Akechi admits. He pointedly ignores Ryuji's sympathetic look as he continues searching to put something on. He finally finds Ninja Warrior, a show where contestants try to defeat an obstacle course and hit a buzzer at the end to move forward to an even harder obstacle course.

"Ohh, I used to watch this all the time!" Ryuji exclaims, sitting up excitedly. "I used to want to be on it, but I don't think I'd be able to get through it. Besides, Phantom Thieving is way cooler than a tough obstacle course." Ryuji relaxes back into his seat, eating another couple chips before he jumps up excitedly again. "Hey, you like rock climbing, right? I bet you could do this! Some of these obstacles take some serious upper arm strength."

Akechi laughs lightly and pats Ryuji's shoulder to get him to sit back down and relax. "I don't think I'm quite that good. That spinning log would fling me right off, I'm sure."

"Oh yeah, me too. And the jumping spider? There's no way in hell I'm getting my leg to support me like that." Ryuji agrees, then sits up a little again. "You know who would be really good at this, though? Akira."

Akechi sighs. He has to agree, stunts like these seem right up Akira's alley. If he trained, Akechi is positive that Akira would make it all the way to the end. Akechi doesn't verbally respond, just nods in agreement.

The two of them sit in comfortable quiet as they watch the show and eat their snacks. Occasionally they'll comment on one of the contestants, cheer for those that make it to the end and lament for those that don't. Sometimes when someone hits the water particularly hard or screws up an obstacle in a painful looking way, they'll both cringe and then laugh. When his bag of chips is empty, Akechi realizes he's pretty thirsty. During a commercial break, he stands up to go to the kitchen.

"Do you want some of that soda you brought?" He calls back to Ryuji over his shoulder, already getting out two cups.

"Sure!" Ryuji responds. He's made himself quite comfortable with his feet up on the coffee table and slumped into the couch cushions. Akechi returns with two cups full of bubbly orange liquid and puts one down on the table in front of his own spot and hands the other to Ryuji.

"Do not spill it. You should probably sit up straight to drink it, too." He chides Ryuji for his posture. Ryuji grumbles but he does sit up to drink. Akechi drinks from his own cup and tries not to make a face. He's never been a big fan of soda. The fizz feels weird in his mouth and most of the time they taste like liquid sugar. This one is no different, though it does have an orange like taste to it. He'll probably leave that bottle untouched for a while until it goes flat. He might consider drinking it then. Strangely he doesn't mind flat soda as much.

"I'm gonna miss Phantom Thieving, when it's gone." Ryuji says out of the blue.

"Huh?" Akechi turns to look at him, confused.

"It's the show, it got me thinkin'. I mean, obviously we can't keep going around and changing hearts forever. We'll get too old. And Akira has to go back home at the end of the year, so that would be the end of it for a while until he comes back. If he even does. And who's to say that if he comes back he'll even want to keep goin' with it?"

"You don't need Kurusu to go with you into the Metaverse, you know. You have the ability to go by yourself." Akechi points out. Ryuji laughs at that and shakes his head.

"No way! That'd be dumb, it's way too dangerous to go alone. Besides, I love goin' and beating up shadows and shit, but really what I love most is havin' everybody backin' me up, and fightin' with me. There'd be no point to goin' in alone, it just wouldn't be the same."

Akechi shakes his head slowly listening to that. He can't quite understand it, honestly. What's the hype about having a lot of people around you? He was around them for a good long while in Sae's palace and he never felt anything like Ryuji is describing. Of course, that's mostly because he was planning on betraying them, but even if the circumstances were normal it doesn't seem like it's all that great.

"I don't see the appeal." He eventually confesses. Ryuji gives him a sad sort of look, but all it does is piss Akechi off more to see it. "Don't look at me like that. Don't pity me for not having friends. I believe I've told you numerous times that I don't need any of that shit."

"I know, but, ain't it lonely?" Ryuji asks, still giving him that look. Akechi resists the urge to strangle him.

"It's fine." He replies, gritting his teeth. "Besides, being around people isn't a cure for loneliness anyway. Don't you feel lonely even when you're with them?"

At that, Ryuji looks sadder, but this time not directed at Akechi. He looks down at his lap and rubs the back of his neck.

"I, uh. Yeah. Sometimes." He shakes his head quickly, giving Akechi a more determined look. "But it's still way better than being alone and lonely!"

"Is it really?" Akechi doesn't believe that. Being lonely while alone is easy to deal with. When surrounded by people, it feels like there's no hope of ever feeling not lonely again. If other's can't fix it, then there must be no way to fix it. Ryuji sighs and finishes his cup of soda. Akechi frowns at him, knowing that he's partially at fault for his ruined mood. "What brought this on?"

"I've just been thinkin' about it, is all. I mean, if Shido's heart is changed, there's not much further to go from there. What would even be the point of continuing the Phantom Thieves? I just think that it's gonna be over soon, and I'm not ready to let it go." Ryuji slumps down into the seat, sadly looking at his lap. Unsure what else to do, Akechi reaches over and pats his shoulder gently.

"Everything ends, Ryuji. It'll happen whether you're ready for it or not."

"If that's you tryna be comforting, you're really bad at it." Ryuji side eyes him. Akechi lifts his hand off his shoulder and moves it back in a surrender gesture.

"I never claimed I was ever good at comforting anyone. I'm just telling you the truth." He folds his hands on his lap.

"Well, I don't want the truth. I want to stay with everyone and be friends and save people forever!" Ryuji balls his hands into fists on his legs, gripping at the fabric of his pants.

"That's an adorable sentiment, but impossible." Akechi supplies unhelpfully.

"You think I don't know that?" Now Ryuji shoots him a glare. "You think I'm not always thinkin' about what will happen when we don't have The Phantom Thieves tying us all together anymore? You think I don't know that there's almost no reason for any of them to stay friends with me once it's over? All I can do is fight shadows and take punches, and I can't even do that right all the time. Who would want someone useless like me around anyway?"

"Ryuji, you're spiralling." Akechi tells him calmly, trying to stop the breakdown that he can sense coming before it starts.

"Oh, you think?! Well no shit I'm spiralling! The one good thing in my life is going away at the end of the year and there's nothing I can do about it. I'll go back to being a nobody like I was before, and everyone will start avoiding me again."

"You don't know that will happen for sure. It's good to think about worst case scenarios, but this is-"

"You know what, no. Shut up, Akechi. You don't get it because you've never loved anyone. You don't know what it's like to have something to live for and know you're going to lose it." Ryuji snarls at him and something in Akechi snaps.

"I've never loved anyone? That's what you think? I don't know what it's like to lose the only thing I lived for? I was the one who found my mother's body after she slit her wrists in the bathtub. Don't you fucking dare tell me I don't know what it's like to lose something." Akechi stands up, fists clenched at his sides as he yells at Ryuji. The boy's eyes go wide as he seems to realize his mistake, but Akechi isn't done. "And that's not all, oh no! I found something to live for even after that, all right. Revenge. Everything my life was after that was plotting and planning and doing everything to get close enough to Shido to be able to kill him and make him see me. But I don't even have that anymore. Because you and your precious Phantom Thieves took it away from me." He's shaking a little now, head tilted down so his hair obscures his face from view. "So don't you dare tell me I don't understand loss, you selfish little child." .

"Akechi, I-" Ryuji stands up, reaching a hand out hesitantly, but Akechi slaps it harshly away.

"No!" He points a shaking finger at the door. "Get out of my house."

"Akechi please, I just-"

"GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE!"

Ryuji puts his hands up and backs away. Akechi doesn't look at what kind of face he's making. He just keeps standing there, stock still and shaking slightly as Ryuji collects his things and heads for the door. Akechi ignores how he keeps pausing and looking back at him. He doesn't move until his front door clicks shut behind Ryuji as he leaves.

He lets out the sob he was holding in. He takes another shuddering breath and chokes out another one. His legs give out and he crumbles to the floor. His arms cross on the seat of the couch and he buries his face in them to cry.

Unbeknownst to him, Ryuji stands outside the door for a minute, listening in, before walking away.

Chapter Text

Ryuji walks away from Akechi's house with his heart in his throat. He fucked up, he knows he fucked up, but he doesn't know how to fix it. He was being selfish, lashing out on Akechi who was actually trying to help him calm down, as terrible as he was at doing it. Ryuji rubs at his burning eyes with the back of his hand, refusing to cry while walking home. The last thing he needs is some random people to see the delinquent looking loser crying in the street.

Ryuji can't help but think about what Akechi said, repeating it in his mind. Akechi has nothing anymore, since they stole his revenge from him. Ryuji feels genuinely bad about that, even if he still thinks doing so was the right decision. Akechi's plot would have never worked anyway, Shido's shadow basically confirmed it. He thinks Akechi knows that too, but it's still hard to accept.

And that stuff about his mother... Ryuji knew something bad happened to her, but he had no idea it was that horrific. He should have figured, but he just never gave it enough thought. Accusing Akechi of never loving anyone wasn't fair, and he knew it the moment the words left his mouth. Ryuji curses at himself for his stupid, evil mouth. Always saying the worst things that he doesn't really mean.

He should apologize, but he wonders if now is too soon. Akechi wouldn't want to hear from him, right? There's no way he would want to. Ryuji wouldn't be surprised if his number is already blocked. Hesitantly, he takes out his phone and opens Akechi's contact. It's too daunting, so he closes it and shoves his phone back in his pocket, hurrying his pace. He'll send a message when he gets home and can think about what he wants to say. Anticipation of that eats away at him so that when he does arrive home, he doesn't feel relaxed like he usually feels to return home. But he owes it to Akechi to apologize, so he sits down on his bed, gets out his phone and starts typing away. After several cycles of typing and deleting, Ryuji finally decides on what he wants to say.

Ryuji:
I'm really sorry for what I said today. I wasn't thinking and I didn't mean it. I know saying that doesn't fix anything, but I just want you to know that I'm genuinely sorry.

He reads it over again, feeling like he's putting more effort into this than his school papers. This is way more important than stupid grades, though.

Akechi doesn't respond. Hours pass, and still, no response. Ryuji expected this, but it's still nerve-racking to wait for something he doesn't know if it'll ever come. He ends up spending the whole evening in a state of limbo, and he goes to bed that night with still no response.

Ryuji doesn't hear anything in the morning either. He doesn't even know if Akechi read the message. He gets through classes feeling numb, and when it comes to be lunch time, he meets up with the others like usual but he barely says anything.

"Ryuji, you're awfully quiet. Is something the matter?" Haru, bless her kind heart, points this out after a while of unusual quiet. Turns out without him there to antagonize Ann or cause problems, the girls have a fairly calm atmosphere about them.

"Huh? Oh, nah, just didn't get much sleep." Ryuji deflects, rubbing the back of his neck. Ann elbows him with a smirk.

"Up all night playing video games again?" She teases in a tone that's clearly trying to mock him and get a rise out of him.

"Nah, just didn't sleep." He shrugs, not even feeling like lying about it. He could have easily said yes and gotten away with it with no more questions, but now everyone is looking at him with concern.

"Hey, are you alright? You really don't seem like yourself today." Makoto leans forward now to interrogate him. While it's tempting to unload his troubles on the girls, he doesn't want to tell them that he insulted Akechi and now the guy won't talk to him anymore. He gets the feeling they would just tell him that it's probably for the best that he distance himself from the murderous fiend.

"I'm fine, like I said, I just didn't sleep good, okay?" Ryuji snaps a little faster than necessary.

"Okay. There's clearly something on your mind but if you're not gonna share it then stop moping around." Ann says, crossing her arms. Ryuji rolls his eyes and gets up.

"Fine, I'll go mope somewhere else then." He responds coldly before walking off. He's not very hungry anyway.

"Ryuji, wait, that's not what I meant-" Ann tries to call after him but he waves her off. She doesn't follow him so he just goes up to the roof to sit for a while. The silence of the rooftop is calming, and for a moment he thinks maybe he'll just stay up here instead of go down to class. Of course he can't do that, he has to be a good boy and act like a regular student still. Just because they defeated Shido's shadow doesn't mean that everything is in the clear now.

Just then, his phone goes off and disturbs his calm completely. He pulls it out so quickly he nearly throws it across the rooftop over to the potted plants. He manages to keep his grip and look at the message.

Akechi:
Meet me at Central Street.

Ryuji stares at his phone for a good minute. What a short, simple message. What the hell does he want? Meet at Central Street? Ryuji's fingers fly over his phone's on-screen keyboard.

Ryuji:
like, right now??

Akechi:
Yes.

The response comes almost immediately. Ryuji's confusion only increases.

Ryuji:
dude I'm in school!

Akechi:
Oh please, don't pretend you haven't skipped class before.

Ryuji:
well yeah but I been trying to do better!

Akechi:
Come on, give yourself a break for once. I think we both need to blow off some steam after yesterday.

Ryuji:
uh...
what do you have in mind here?

Akechi:
I'll explain everything once you meet me at Central Street.

Ryuji:
this seems really suspicious...

Akechi:
My killing people days are over, if that's what you're worried about.

Ryuji:
that's not what I was thinkin!

Akechi:
What were you thinking we would do?

Ryuji:
I dunno! something suspicious!

Akechi:
Well, it's not illegal. And it won't be hurting anyone.

Ryuji:
okay okay fine!

Akechi:
So you'll come?

Ryuji:
ugh

Akechi:
Great! I'll see you soon. :)

Ryuji groans out loud. He can't believe he's doing this after so long of behaving so well, and for Akechi of all people! But still, he feels a rush of excitement from sneaking out. He's also happy that Akechi isn't still mad at him. Or at least, he doesn't seem mad from his texts. He hopes that he's not so mad that he's decided to trick Ryuji in some way by pretending he's not mad out of spite. He shakes his head to clear those thoughts away.

It's a surprise that he's actually able to leave the building without getting caught. In the past it felt like teachers would see him through the walls whenever he tried anything. He wonders if maybe he's gotten better at sneaking from Phantom Thievery.

He arrives at Central Street quickly, and looks through the crowd for Akechi. He finds him standing around near the entrance of the subway, staring at his phone. Ryuji can feel his shoulders loosen in relief to see him. He walks up quickly with a big grin.

"Hey, ya bastard! What did you call me out here for, huh?" He calls out to him as he approaches. Akechi gives him a look of distaste and puts his phone away.

"Could you call any more attention to us?" he grumbles sarcastically. Ryuji laughs and rubs the back of his neck.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just so damn curious about what this is all about. Plus I'm glad to see you. I was uh, really worried that you hated me now..." Ryuji's smile droops as he laughs uneasily. He can't bring himself to keep eye contact while saying that, so he looks at the wall behind him instead.

"Please, it would take more than one insensitive comment to make me hate someone," Akechi replies with a smirk. "I need at least two insensitive comments in order for that to happen." He adds, smile growing at Ryuji's frightened expression. Ryuji is genuinely concerned about crossing that threshold now, but that fear dissipates as Akechi's amusement becomes more clear.

"Ass. Just tell me what I'm skipping school for already." He grumbles, unable to stop his own smile from quirking his lips. He doesn't hate me. He thinks. He even still likes me enough to joke around. That's a good sign, right?

"It's easier if I show you. Come on," Akechi gestures Ryuji to follow him down the stairs into the subway station, pulling out his phone once again. When they reach the bottom of the stairs, Ryuji notices that their surroundings have changed drastically.

"Mementos? Why here?" He asks, looking around. It looks like the same old usual Mementos. "We're not supposed to come here without the group..."

"I've been coming here on my own since before you even had a persona. It's not that dangerous." Akechi rolls his eyes and puts his hands on his hips. Ryuji notices that instead of his princely white outfit, he's in full Black Mask getup. He knows it's just Akechi under that unnerving helmet/mask, but the sight reminds him of that awful battle and sets his nerves on edge. "I have been thinking about what you said, about feeling like you're losing something you love... I admit I was being rather insensitive last night as well. I belittled your feelings, and for that, I apologise." Akechi bows slightly, and it feels stiff and practiced. It makes Ryuji a bit uncomfortable.

"It's fine, dude. I figure we're even. But still, what's that got to do with coming to Mementos?" Ryuji tilts his head questioningly.

"You mentioned how you like coming here with others, that it's not just fighting shadows that you enjoy, but the team work and comraddery. And I thought maybe, if the others won't come with you," Akechi looks off to the side and fiddles with his hands. The metal talons on his gloves clink awkwardly together. "I thought maybe I could... try filling that gap?" His voice is as stiff as his posture, and Ryuji might not be the best at reading people, but he can tell when someone is feeling nervous. And the fact that Akechi is doing this for him is... sweet. It makes him smile.

"That's really nice of you, dude. I'm happy to have you to fight by my side." He can tell he's grinning far wider than normal. Akechi looks at him and then looks away again quickly. It's hard to tell what kind of expression he's making under his mask.

"Don't get me wrong, I also want to fight shadows. This isn't entirely for your benefit alone," Akechi says coldly, but Ryuji can tell it's a bluff. What a tsundere.

"Yeah, but you woulda been fine coming down here on your own. You still made the effort to invite me anyway. That makes me happy." Ryuji's never been eloquent when expressing himself, and it works both in his favor and in his misfortune. Here, he's not sure which it is, since Akechi still won't look at him for more than a second.

"Yes. Well. I needed to find some way to apologise for blowing up at you." Akechi excuses. Ryuji doesn't push the issue, but he doesn't stop smiling fondly at him even as they go down the escalators and into the first level of Mementos.

The shadows on the first level are painfully easy to defeat even with just the two of them. After the third shadow destroyed by a single hit, Ryuji finds himself yawning.

"Yes, this is kind of below us, don't you agree?" Akechi sighs and looks over at Ryuji for confirmation. Ryuji nods enthusiastically.

"Yeah, these weak sauce shadows ain't shit. Let's go down further. I wanna fight something, not swat flies." With a confident grin, Ryuji slaps his weapon into his open hand. Akechi matches his grin after a moment.

"Swatting flies might require more effort than this, actually," he points out as they head down to the lower levels. They don't go too far down, just to where it will take at least more than one hit to kill a shadow. Part of fighting is taking hits back, too, and those always make Ryuji feel the electricity coursing through him all the more powerfully. After a particularly hard hit from a shadow, Ryuji actually laughs after exclaiming in pain. Akechi gives him a concerned look for a moment before finishing off the shadow.

"Now this is more like it. Still pretty easy, though." Ryuji stretches his arms back until he hears a pop in his shoulders. The satisfying feeling makes him groan.

"It almost seems like you enjoy getting hit, Skull." Akechi points out. They decided it would probably be best to continue to use codenames even with just the two of them.

"Nah, it ain't that. I like it being more of a challenge than getting auto wins. Gettin' hit makes it feel more like a real fight. 'ts no fun to just win right away." Ryuji explains with a shrug. Akechi nods slowly in understanding.

"I know what you mean. The only time I have ever felt evenly matched was when fighting with you all. Some of my targets in the past were a bit of a struggle, but nothing near what power you and your friends had over me."

"Well that was eight against one, of course you'd be at disadvantage in that." Ryuji points out.

"I still managed to hold my own for a while even against those odds. But still, tasting defeat like that the first time was... exhilarating. Finally, I thought, someone worthy of my true power. So I brought out Loki and you know the rest. While I'd like to forget the ending of that encounter, there's some parts that... weren't so bad."

Ryuji gets the feeling that this sort of thing isn't something Akechi would admit to just anyone. It's a bit like he's exposing a vulnerable side of himself. One would think he'd hate to look back on the time he almost died, but here he is admitting that he kind of enjoyed it.

"Now, don't get me wrong," Akechi continues, holding up his hands, "it was absolutely infuriating how easily you defeated me even though I threw everything I had at you. But... I think it's alright. I lost, but it wasn't like all the other failures of my life. If it weren't for that fucking cognition, I might have even accepted your offer to join you again. It might have been a learning experience rather than another way for the universe to beat me down. Of course even subconsciously Shido couldn't let me have that." Akechi clenches his fists tightly at his sides. Ryuji frowns at him before reaching over to place a hand on his shoulder. Akechi tenses for a moment before looking over at him and relaxing somewhat.

"Let's go kill some more shadows," he says with a sympathetic smile. Akechi nods once and Ryuji thinks he can see a hint of a smile under the mask.

"Yes. While it isn't as satisfying as killing Shido would be, it's a decent substitute." Akechi agrees, and the two continue onwards into the twisted subway.

They arrive at a floor where the shadows are strong enough to pose a real challenge, but not enough to make it genuinely dangerous. They were having fun, killing shadows, occasionally even succeeding in baton passing and all out attacks with just the two of them. It reminds Ryuji a bit of when it was just him and Akira (and Morgana) against the shadows in Kamoshida's castle. Back then he felt unstoppable. Akechi lets out a maniacal sounding laugh as he tears apart a shadow and Ryuji thinks he must be feeling pretty unstoppable right now too.

They're panting and tired after several battles on this floor, but feeling good. At least, Ryuji is feeling pretty awesome. Akechi keeps clutching at his side every so often and making this pained expression that Ryuji can even see past his mask. He's just about to suggest they head back and call it a day when a sound catches his attention. It's the rattling of chains. Both of their eyes go wide as they look at each other and there's an unspoken agreement that they need to run, now.

"The escalators were this way, right?" Akechi gestures down a fork in the tunnels as they run. Ryuji tries to remember, but the unsettling sound of chains is distracting him. He shrugs and ends up following Akechi. He's been here plenty of times before, he's probably much better at making mental maps anyway.

As it turns out, even Akechi can make mistakes. They come to a dead end and the rattling grows every closer.

"Shit!" Akechi exclaims, slamming his fist against the wall. "How could I be so stupid!"

"Hey, don't beat yourself up. I didn't remember the way back either." Ryuji tries to comfort him, let him know their error isn't solely his fault.

"You think being on the same level as an idiot like you will make me feel better?" Akechi snaps, glaring. Ryuji matches that glare right back.

"Hey, don't take it out on me just cuz you're pissed about making a mistake! Dick move, Crow."

"Whatever! It doesn't matter anyway, we're going to end up getting killed if we don't find the exit." They're both already out of breath and aching, but he's right. They need to keep moving or else they'll be caught by that insanely dangerous shadow. Still, after so long of fighting and running around, Ryuji's leg is starting to feel a bit stiff. He'll never complain about Mona's bus form again. It seriously beats walking through each level on foot.

They run back out into the fork and take the other path they hadn't before. Just as they do, the sound of the chains becomes almost unbearable. the shadow appears from the third tunnel and gives chase as soon as it spots them.

"Shit, run!" Ryuji yells, but Akechi doesn't need to be told. He's already far ahead of Ryuji, which is something he'd be more annoyed about if he wasn't in imminent danger. To think, the former track star unable to outrun an ex detective. But even still, neither of them are able to outrun the Reaper. If catches up to them just as they think the way back up is in sight at the end of the hall. It starts making attacks on them, and they have no choice but to try and fight back until they can get close enough to the exit to make a run for it.

As they are both already so tired, it is a challenge to face the entity. Every hit they do make hardly does anything significant to damage it, and that's only when the attacks hit. Then, when the Reaper makes an attack, it does so swiftly and effectively. Just one swipe from this thing knocks Ryuji right off his feet and makes his head spin. His health is already low, and now he feels even worse. It's mementos, so he knows he won't have to deal with a broken rib in the real world, but he can definitely feel that something in his chest broke in the impact. It hurts and makes it hard to breathe, so he can only watch on as Akechi continues to fight hard. Not wanting to leave him alone, Ryuji struggles to his feet and tries to summon his persona to fight. He delivers one good electric attack before another big attack from the Reaper hits him hard.

"Ryuji-!" He thinks he hears Akechi call out his name in a panicked voice, but he can't be sure since he promptly falls unconscious after that.

Ryuji returns to the world of the living with the feeling of something cool and round in his mouth. He instinctively crunches down on it and swallows. Almost immediately he starts feeling better. It's easier to breathe, and though his chest keeps hurting, he can almost feel the bones being set correctly back into place. Too bad the Metaverse can't fix injuries from the outside world, though, because his leg still hurts like a motherfucker.

"Ryuji..." Akechi's voice sounds small above him. Ryuji opens his eyes slowly and blinks up at him. Akechi's taken his mask off and his eyes are... watery?

"Are you okay?" Ryuji asks, looking at the expression on Akechi's face with worry. Immediately whatever pained expression he had been making disappears, replaced with total confusion.

"Am I okay- Ryuji, you died." He says with the tone one would use to scold a child.

"... nah, I'm fine! See? Not dead." Ryuji raises his hand and pats the side of Akechi's face with a grin to show he's still alive. Akechi glares at him and snatches his hand by the wrist.

"Can you stop being an idiot for one second of time? You were dead, Ryuji. You weren't breathing and I couldn't find your heartbeat. You were dead."

"Oh..." Ryuji looks away feeling somewhat guilty. Then he looks up at Akechi again and offers a tentative smile. "But, I'm not anymore. So it's all good?"

Akechi just laughs hollowly and shakes his head.

"How did we get away?" Ryuji asks, pushing himself up on his elbows to sit up. Akechi looks away for a moment and sighs.

"I... used Loki's power. The one that causes people to go crazy." He almost looks ashamed admitting it. Ryuji sits up fully and puts his hand on Akechi's shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"It worked, you got us out." He says softly. Akechi breathes out another sigh and nods his head after a moment.

"Yeah. it just... it felt different this time. It felt wrong."

"That makes sense. The last time you used it on yourself was a pretty bad time." Ryuji reasons. Akechi looks at him with confusion for a second before shaking his head.

"I didn't use it on myself. I used it on the Reaper." He explains, eyes wide like he can't believe what he's saying himself. "I didn't think it would work on shadows not connected to a specific person, but when I reached in mentally, I was able to grab hold of something. And I twisted it until it broke, and thousands of voices cried out in pain. Then I let go and grabbed you and ran." He hugs his arms around himself, looking at the ground. "It felt like I was hurting everyone in the world."

Ryuji thinks about that for a second. If the power makes the person who's shadow it's used on act out in unpredictable ways, then what would it do to a shadow built by the collective consciousness of the world? Or at least of Tokyo, since Ryuji isn't sure that the Metaverse stretches that far outside of the city. Still, that's a lot of people to have mental breakdowns all at once, if it works like he's fearing.

"You don't think..." Ryuji starts, needing to ask if Akechi is having the same thought. By the grim expression on his face, he can already assume he's having the exact same thought.

"That I just made everyone in the real world do something crazy? I hope not. The carnage would be..." Akechi doesn't finish the statement. He shudders at the thought.

"There's only one way to find out though, right?" Ryuji asks, trying to look optimistic. Akechi gives him an incredulous look.

"I don't think I want to go out there and see what I've done." He admits, and for a moment Ryuji thinks that he looks very small right now. With a supportive smile, Ryuji stands up and reaches his hand out to Akechi.

"I'll face it with ya, whatever it is. C'mon."

Akechi looks from his hand to his face back to his hand a couple times. Then he stands up on his own, and takes Ryuji's hand once he's standing. He doesn't say anything. Together, they make their way to the exit, and step back into the real world, still hand in hand.

Chapter Text

Ryuji and Goro step out into the real world hand in hand, holding their breath to face whatever chaos may await them.

But as soon as they look around, they notice a distinct lack of chaos. In fact, everyone seems to be acting very normal. Akechi is the first to let go of Ryuji's hand and step forward to look at the crowds of people going about their day.

"Well, nothing's on fire so that's a good thing!" Ryuji blurts out. Akechi simply gives him a withered look and then continues to stare at the people.

"Don't be relieved so quickly. Time works unpredictably in the Metaverse. It may not have kicked in yet."

"Or it might not kick in at all." Ryuji adds, optimistic as ever. Akechi just sighs.

"I hope. If everyone is to go berserk all at once, that would be... very bad." Akechi looks increasingly worried, so Ryuji comes over to him and pats him once on the back.

"It'll be fine! I bet the Reaper isn't connected to everyone like we're thinking. Maybe it's just like any other normal shadow but like, way stronger." His grin is almost convincing.

"I hope you are right. Even if the effect lasts for a mere second, the results could still be catastrophic." Akechi starts glancing around at everyone like they might suddenly attack him at any moment. For all he knows, they very well could.

"Maybe we should go somewhere safer, like your place or mine. That way, if everyone starts acting violently, we'll be safer." Ryuji suggests, and Akechi does appreciate the idea, even if Ryuji has a slight misunderstanding of how his powers work.

"It doesn't make people act violently. At least, that's not all it does." Akechi corrects, but Ryuji tilts his head in confusion. Seeing he needs more than that to understand, Akechi continues. "It amplifies desires and intrusive thoughts. It takes away self control and the fear of consequences that keep us from doing everything that pops into our heads."

"Like... what?" Ryuji still looks confused, and Akechi sighs with frustration.

"Have you ever looked down from a very high place and thought about jumping? Ever stood behind someone waiting for the train, and while the train is about to pull in, thought about pushing them in front of it?"

"What?! No!" Ryuji jumps back like Akechi just pulled out a snake and shoved it in his face. Then he frowns and looks guilty. "I mean, n-not really. Maybe a little. But it's not like I want to! I would never-"

"That's right. You would never. But if I were to use my power on you, that self control that keeps you from doing every little thing you think of would be gone. You would think 'I could run into traffic' and you wouldn't get to the next thought of 'but I won't' because you'd already be in the street."

"Oh. That's..." Ryuji looks away uncomfortably.

"Horrible, I know. But this is the power of my innermost self. That's who I am."

"Stop saying that. You're not just a horrible monster, Goro." Ryuji gives him a stern look, but Akechi's breath has gotten caught in his throat. It takes effort to get any response out.

"You don't know me." He croaks, voice sounding way too shaky to pretend being told that isn't affecting him. Ryuji's stern expression turns softer, and that's even worse.

"I do, but I know you won't believe me because you're so hell bent on hating yourself and thinking you're a monster so you don't actually have to feel bad about the bad things you've done. Cuz monsters don't feel bad, and you don't want to feel bad. But you do, don't you." Ryuji says it like it's a fact, not a question. It's even worse that he's right.

"Shut up." Akechi snaps, looking away. "Forget about it. Let's just go somewhere safe like you said. That way if people do start acting up, we won't have to worry as much." Akechi turns the conversation back to the beginning swiftly. Ryuji looks mildly frustrated, but doesn't push the issue further.

"I should probably warn the others that something might happen. That way they won't be caught unprepared." Ryuji pulls his phone out, and before Akechi can say anything, he exclaims, "Woah! It's already like, 4 pm! Ah shit, everyone has been asking where I went. Ugh, why did I let you convince me to skip school..." he groans and starts typing things out, presumably responding to all his concerned friends. Akechi checks his phone as well, but there are no new messages. There is no reason for that to make his stomach twist with disappointment.

"Okay, I let them know that everything is fine, but keep a lookout in case anyone starts acting weird." Ryuji says after a minute of typing on his phone. He puts it away, ignoring the slew of text message sounds that come from it afterwards. After a brief moment, he silences it and smiles at Akechi. "Your place or mine?"

He's ignoring his friends for you. Akechi's mind tells him. It makes him feel equal amounts happy and guilty. It's obvious his friends are concerned, so Ryuji really should be getting back to them to explain things better. And yet, he's choosing to put his attention into Akechi. It makes the ex detective's chest ache.

"Let's go to your place. I think it's closer, isn't it?" Akechi answers, not letting his internal struggles show on his face. Ryuji thinks for a second before nodding in response.

"Sure. My mom's at work anyway, so we don't have to worry 'bout her bugging us." Ryuji's face falls after a moment. "Oh damn, I bet the school called her about me skipping class. Ughh, I am not looking forward to that conversation later."

"Oh. Should we go to my place instead, then?" Akechi fiddles with his gloves.

"No, then she'll just be worried about me. If I skip school and then don't even show up at home later, she'll think something happened. I don't wanna worry her like that. Besides, my place is closer like you said. But I don't think anyone is gonna be acting weird. I mean, it's been a couple minutes since we came out, right? And look, nothing's happening."

Akechi sighs. Ryuji is probably right. He freaked out over nothing. But still, there's a gnawing sense of dread inside of him. What if he could turn everyone berserk at the same time? Even the Thieves might not be able to stop the chaos and carnage. A small part of him becomes excited at the idea. To be the cause of such mass destruction, to take control of so many people's minds and twist them until they break. That much power would be far too dangerous for anyone to have, but the idea of having it makes him feel tingly from his core all the way out to the tips of his fingers. He could destroy the world and throw it into absolute chaos. He could singlehandedly cause the apocalypse.

"'kechi? You comin'?" Ryuji snaps him out of his morbid thoughts with a concerned look. He had already started to walk towards his home. Akechi shakes his head to clear it and moves to follow him.

"Yes, sorry. Got lost in thought." He explains with a smile. Ryuji's face scrunches up at him.

"You're doing it again. That's a fake face." Ryuji scolds him like a child. "Stop making fake faces like that, it's weird."

"I'm sorry my face isn't fitting your preferences, Sakamoto." Akechi's eyelid twitches but he keeps smiling pleasantly out of spite.

"That's not what- ugh, why is it so hard for you to just be yourself, huh?" Ryuji grumbles. Akechi is silent. He doesn't know how to respond to that, so he doesn't respond. Ryuji doesn't seem to be looking for an answer anyway and they walk together in silence to Ryuji's home.

As they walk, Akechi can't help but keep glancing over at Ryuji. He's alive, he's fine. He has a little wrinkle in his brow that gives away his frustration. He catches Akechi looking at him and raises an eyebrow. Akechi looks away without acknowledging it. Then, he finds himself glancing over again. Ryuji is alive. He's alive. He's walking and his face is expressive and he's fine.

Akechi's mind flashes back to the moment the reaper hit Ryuji with the strong attack that sent him flying. He remembers clearly the sound of Ryuji's bones crunching. The sound of Ryuji's panicked breathing choking to a stop as his punctured lungs stop working. The dead look on his frightened face when the life ran out of his eyes. Akechi remembers the terror he felt seeing that expression, that same dead eyed look that Akira had when he shot him. Ryuji was dead, and in that moment Akechi felt a despair so great he was willing to tear the world apart for the chance to revive his friend.

Friend. There's no denying that's how he thinks of Ryuji now. For better or worse, Akechi cares about him.

"Akechi? You're really thinking hard about somethin', huh?" Ryuji nudges the other with his elbow, smiling with a concerned quirk in his eyebrow.

"I'm fine." Akechi responds a little too quickly.

"Yeah?" Ryuji questions. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No. There's nothing to talk about." Akechi looks over at his friend and the relief of knowing he's okay makes it easier to let go of the worry in his gut. He smiles, and it feels a little more honest. Ryuji seems placated and returns to facing forward as they walk.

Eventually they reach Ryuji's house and the blond opens the front door to let them in. Ryuji calls out to his mom to make sure she isn't home, and upon hearing no response, his shoulders slump down with a sigh.

"We're alone now." Ryuji says, relief filling his voice. He wanders over to the couch and flops down on it after taking his shoes off. He turns on the tv and kicks his feet up. Akechi follows him over and sits down next to him. "Y'know, if it weren't for the whole reaper thing, today woulda been pretty fun, right?" Ryuji says with a grin, attitude already sunny and bright as usual.

Akechi is inclined to agree with what his friend said. If it weren't for the absolute terror they faced, today would have been fun.

"We should go again to Mementos sometime." Akechi nods in agreement. "We'll be sure to be more careful, of course. But it was enjoyable to spend time with you fighting shadows."

"Damn, I didn't expect you to admit to having a good time so easily! I thought you'd still be all grumpy about it."

"Excuse me?" Akechi responds, mildly offended. "I am not grumpy. I'm concerned about potentially having ended the world, you buffoon."

"Dude, I doubt ending the world would be that easy." Ryuji replies like it's the simplest concept and should immediately dispell all Akechi's fears. In a strange way, it works. Ryuji has a point. Ending the world surely can't be that easy that Akechi could do it on accident. That just wouldn't make sense. The ex detective's body relaxes into his seat next to Ryuji and the blond smiles over at him like he knew his words would calm him down.

After a bit, Ryuji pulls out his phone again, mumbling how he should check on the others and let them know it was probably a false alarm. Akechi subtly tilts his head to see the screen. Apparently he is not subtle enough because Ryuji tilts the screen of his phone so that Akechi can better see. Akechi can read the text conversation as it happens with ease thanks to this, but he says nothing.

Ryuji: sorry guys, probably a false alarm

Ryuji: nothin seems to be happenin

Ann: you dolt! you had us all worried to death!

Yusuke: What was it that had you spooked, Ryuji?

"What should I tell em?" Ryuji asks, turning his head to Akechi.

"You can say whatever you want. I don't care." Akechi responds, looking away like he wasn't reading. As Ryuji starts typing, he turns his head to look again.

Ryuji: Akechi and I went to Mementos and had a weird run in with the reaper today

Ann: you did what!?!?!

Haru: Ryuji, that's dangerous!

Makoto: You shouldn't have done that, what if you had gotten hurt?

Ryuji: don't worry, Goro and I handled it!

Akira: Still, you shouldn't have gone alone. That was dangerous.

Ryuji: yeah yeah.

Yusuke: Why did you think this would cause something bad to happen in the real world, though?

Ryuji: cuz Goro used his mind bendy powers on the reaper and it freaked him out.

Futaba: Woah, really?? I didn't even know that was possible!

Haru: I too am surprised he would freak out over his own power. He's used it enough.

Ryuji glances over at the man in question and Akechi averts his eyes guiltily.

Futaba: I meant that I didn't think it would work on the Reaper, but you've got a point.

Futaba: What made this different than the other times he's used that power?

Ryuji: he said it felt like he was attacking everyone when he used it, not just one person. he was afraid he made everyone in the world go berserk.

Akira: That would be bad news if it actually worked like that.

Haru: Honestly, it sounds like something he would do on purpose.

Ryuji: hey! he's not that bad a guy! give him more credit.

Akechi feels like even more of a voyeur reading this now, but he doesn't want to look away.

Haru: I know you two have gotten close, but you can't just forget what he's done, Ryuji.

Yusuke: Haru has a point. I'm not sure that you should trust him so easily.

Ryuji: the only reason he used that power was to save my life!

Ryuji: so stop talking down about him!

Ryuji then angrily turns off his phone. Akechi looks at his. face and finds him frowning.

"They have a point, you know. I have proven to be very untrustworthy on multiple occasions." Akechi points out, but is stopped by Ryuji's glare.

"Dude, shut up." Ryuji's voice sounds fond. It is strange, but it manages to make Akechi do as he's told. He shuts up.

It's a strange feeling, to be defended. Even if he won't defend himself, he has Ryuji in his square to do it for him. It feels nice. It feels tiresome. The excitement from the day is finally catching up with Akechi and he accidentally lets himself yawn loudly. Ryuji gives him an amused look. Akechi glares as though daring him to make fun.

"Tired, huh? You can rest for a bit if you want. I don't mind if you take a nap or something. Here," Ryuji taps his own shoulder. "You can even lean on me if you want."

The offer is surprising. Even more surprising is that Akechi considers taking it. To lean on Ryuji's shoulder and snooze... how nice would that be? Surely a shoulder can't be comfortable, though. It's bony and hard. Not a very good pillow. Still, to snuggle up to Ryuji's side and doze off is an idea that won't leave Akechi's mind.

Before he can talk himself out of it, Akechi leans over and rests his head on Ryuji's shoulder. It's... not actually all that comfortable, just like he thought. It would be awkward to sit back up though, so Akechi stays there. He shifts a little to get more comfortable and takes a glance at Ryuji's face as he does so. Ryuji is smiling and his face seems more flushed then it was a moment ago. A smirk crosses Akechi's face and he settles in against Ryuji's shoulder more comfortably.

Ryuji changes the channel on the tv to some new anime that neither of them recognize. It's clearly an episode from the middle of the series. It's hard to figure out exactly what is going on and who everyone is, but it's better than sitting in silence, Akechi supposes.

"I think that guy used to be a villain but ended up joining the good guys," Ryuji points out.

"That would make sense. The other characters seem unsure how to act around him while he's part of their team. Also, he seems desperate to prove himself to them, don't you think?" Akechi agrees.

"Yeah, he's acting like he's trying to make up for something he did. I guess he could have just made a mistake and always been a good guy, though."

"We won't know unless we watch the earlier episodes. That, or if the show will provide a flashback for us." Akechi closes his eyes, ultimately uninterested in the show. Today was a long day and he's tired.

"Maybe it will have one of those 'previously on' things at the begining of next episode." Ryuji suggests.

"Maybe. Though even if it does, there's no guarantee that it will tell us what we need to know." Akechi points out.

"Not sure if I care that much anyway. So far the only interestin' guy is the one we're talking about." Ryuji says. "Hey, he kind of reminds me of you, now that I think about it."

"In what way?" Akechi asks, peeking his eyes open again to watch the anime on the screen. So far, the guy has been somewhat annoying in Akechi's view.

"The way he's tryna prove himself to the others reminds me of when you first joined us. You wanted to show off so much and be helpful all the time." Ryuji earns a grunt of annoyance from the one on his shoulder. "Remember when you and I went to collect those coins in Sae's palace? That was the first time we were ever alone together. It was so awkward because I was trying so hard not to make it obvious that I hated you. Could you tell?"

"I could tell that most of you held some dislike towards me back then, yes. You were good at acting civil, though."

"Ehehheh, thanks." Ryuji chuckles, probably blushing even though the compliment is small. "You're not as bad as I thought you were. I mean, yeah you did more bad things than I knew of back then, but I actually don't hate you at all anymore."

"That is... good..." Akechi says, unsure how to respond to that. He knew Ryuji used to hate him, and it's good that there's no residual hatred left. Still, it's odd to hear that Ryuji no longer hates him. After everything Akechi did, Ryuji doesn't hate him for it. Akechi doesn't know how to react to that.

"Yeah." Ryuji agrees, unbothered by Akechi's awkward reply. "I'm glad that we're friends, y'know. It's been nice getting to know you better. The real you."

Akechi stays silent. He agrees, but he can't just up and say that he agrees. Getting to know Ryuji and hang out with him has been good for him. Ryuji is the kind of person that's makes him want to become a better person himself. It's scary, but it's nice.

"Oh, do you want a snack or anything? I shoulda offered earlier, sorry." Ryuji suddenly blurts out after a while of awkward silence.

"No, thank you. I'm alright. Feel free to just get yourself something if you want." Akechi adds the last bit knowing that Ryuji would go hungry just because he doesn't want to feed himself and not his guest.

"But you're so comfy on my shoulder, it would suck if I got up now." Ryuji, of course, has to point out that Akechi is still cuddled up to his side. Akechi was hoping they would mutually agree to ignore that particular elephant in the room, but it seems not.

"Your shoulder is actually not all that comfortable." Akechi replies, shifting in place a bit as though to prove a point. It's somewhat of a lie. After settling in, Ryuji's shoulder had gotten much more comfortable than it was at the begining. It would be a shame if Ryuji were to get up now.

"Huh? But you seem so cozy over there. You're tellin' me you aren't ready to doze off or nothin'?" Ryuji crosses his arms, jostling Akechi's head a little with the movement.

"Hey, that doesn't mean you should move all over the place! It's plenty comfortable as long as you stay still." Akechi complains.

"Ah HAH! So it IS comfy! Well, feel free to snuggle up to my side any time you want. Call that a perk of being friends with Ryuji Sakamoto!" Ryuji boasts, laughing. Akechi can feel his face flush at the word "snuggle" being spoken into existence.

"We are not snuggling. You'd have to put your arm around me for it to be snuggling." Akechi scoffs.

As though it was a request, Ryuji moves his arm to go around Goro's shoulders, pulling the other in to lay his head closer to his chest and neck. Akechi can hear Ryuji's heart rate as it speeds up against his ear. His arm is warm around his shoulders. It's... it's nice.

"Like this?" Ryuji asks, voice soft. Akechi's mouth is too dry to answer.

They stay like that for several commercials until the show comes back on. Ryuji's heart rate has gone back to normal and his breathing is slow and steady. It's calm and warm in his arms, and Akechi lets his eyes flutter shut. He must doze off, because next thing he knows, he hears keys jingling at the door and it startles him awake. He shoots up and to the opposite side of the couch from Ryuji just as Ryuji's mother enters the room.

"Oh, hello boys," she greets, seemingly not having noticed anything.

"Hey Ma," Ryuji replies with a yawn, stretching out his arms. Akechi notices some drool on his shirt and feels his face heat up. How embarrassing.

"Ryuji, I received a call from your school today..." Ms. Sakamoto begins in a stern sounding voice. Akechi's heart drops into his stomach. He doesn't want to hear Ryuji get yelled at. "Is everything okay?" She says, concern in her voice instead of anger. Akechi is confused. Where is the accusations, the screaming?

"Oh, I, uh. Yeah. About that, I can explain," Ryuji starts, having clearly no idea how to explain his disappearance from school.

"It's my fault, ma'am. I'm afraid I was a bad influence on your son today." Akechi says, not offering much in the way of explanation either. Ms. Sakamoto gives him a look that says she doesn't believe him anyway.

"Ryuji, I know school is tough for you, but you should still attend it regularly. You've been doing so well, don't fall off the wagon now." She speaks to her son with a compassion that Akechi used to ache for. Now he feels only a small pang of jealousy. He doesn't know how his own mother would have reacted in this situation.

"I know, I know. It won't happen again." Ryuji promises. His mother smiles as walks over to ruffle his hair affectionately. Ryuji makes a face and tries to fix it while his mother turns her attention to Akechi.

"Akechi, are you joining us for dinner tonight? I must admit I don't have the energy to cook anything up but we can order in." Akechi considers it. He would probably order takeout for himself anyway if he goes home. What's the difference if he eats it here with Ryuji and his mother?

"No, thank you. I really should get going home. I have work to catch up on." He says, standing up. He ignores the disappointed frown that Ryuji doesn't even try to hide.

"If you're sure. Be safe getting home, dear." Ms. Sakamoto tells him with a smile. It feels too warm in this apartment.

"Text me when you get home." Ryuji adds, making the apartment feel even warmer.

"I will." Akechi replies, leaving the warmth as quickly as he can without looking like he's running away. It's too much for him right now. When he returns to his own apartment, it feels colder than usual.

Chapter Text

That night, Akechi orders himself some takeout from a nearby restaurant. The food tastes mediocre and he goes to bed feeling empty. Just before he drifts off to sleep for the night, he remembers Ryuji's arm around him and imagines he can still hear his steady heartbeat.

Despite having such pleasant thoughts in his head falling asleep, Akechi still wakes up that night to the sound of himself screaming. It's the engine room dream again. The pain of being shot subsides as he wakes up, but for a brief moment, he feels as if he it had actually happened to him again. He curls in on himself and wipes the tears from his face angrily. Crying over nightmares is such a childish thing to do and he hates it. Unfortunately, he knows no way of stopping them. Whatever the contents of the dreams, they cause him to feel helpless and horrified in the same way he felt when discovering his mother's body.

Akechi shivers as the stress sweat soaks into his sleeping clothes. He'll have to change, but he doesn't want to get up; his body is so tired. Eventually, his eyes close anyway, and he falls back into an uneasy sleep.

It's cold and wet. The ceiling is dripping water onto him. The floor is covered in a few inches of water and old toys float on the surface. The water is tinted with red and seems to be flowing from a doorway. Akechi knows this doorway. He's dreamed of this doorway for years. Not again, he thinks, lucidly realizing what dream this is but powerless to stop it. His short legs slosh through the water as he approaches the door. He knows what image will greet him on the other side. It flashes through his head in brief glimpses. Red wrists, slack jaw, dead eyes, wet hair. He opens the door anyway.

Goro's mother is not in the bathtub like usual. There is nobody in the bathtub, but the water continues to run over the side and across the floor.

"Goro-" a voice croaks from behind him. "Goooorooo..."

Slowly, he turns around.

The dead face of Wakaba Ishiki greets him. Her mouth hangs open and her eyes are unfocused. Cold, wet hands grab him by the shoulders and pull him down into the water. Another hand grabs him, this one belonging to Kunikazu Okumura. Then another, and another. The faces of everyone he's killed come together to give him a grim greeting as he's pulled deeper into the abyss. Finally, his own, wicked grin looks back at him, aims, and pulls the trigger.

Akechi shoots up in bed with another hoarse scream. He hugs himself and sobs, too exhausted and overwhelmed to care about crying. The tears flow freely down his face. His clothes are damp with sweat, as are his sheets. Shaking violently, Akechi pulls himself out of bed. The last place he wants to go is a bathroom, but he knows that hot water will help with the chills. He strips off his clothes and turns on the water. It's still cold when he first gets in, but warms up quickly enough. Eventually he stops shivering. There's no way he wants to go back to sleep now. That dream was a new one, and the faces of his victims are still fresh in his mind.

"Dammit," he murmurs. Akechi wishes he never discovered the Metaverse. He wishes he never worked for Shido. He wishes he never came to Tokyo. He wishes he was never born. His tears mix with the hot water running down his face.

Eventually, Akechi gets out of the shower. He dries himself off and wraps a towel around his waist to go back to his room. The sheets are dry again at this point, but they smell like his stress sweat. Akechi wrinkles his nose and goes to put on clean pajamas. He would usually try to get some work done at this point, but today he just doesn't see the point. Shido is going to confess hopefully. After that, Akechi doesn't really have much to do with himself. He could keep working as a detective, but really the only reason he got anywhere in that field was thanks to Shido's influence. It doesn't feel right to go back to it like nothing happened. Besides, Shido's confession will probably include the things he's made Akechi do, and there's no way he's getting out of jail after people know he's been a serial killer.

Akechi flops down in bed. He might as well try to get some more sleep. He'll figure out what to do with himself tomorrow. He checks his phone just in case, and just as he suspected, there's nothing new. He puts the phone down and closes his eyes.

He feels like he's just about to fall asleep when his phone buzzes at him signalling a new message.

Ryuji: hey man, Akira tells me you like, blocked him or something? he wants to talk to you so can you unblock him?

Just when he started to get excited seeing the message from Ryuji, it had to go and get ruined. Akechi sighs.

Akechi: Is it important?

The response from Ryuji comes right away.

Ryuji: idk but he's really bummed about it. just talk to him!

Akechi: Fine.

Ryuji: thanks bro! and hey, we should hang out again tomorrow! after school this time tho.

Akechi: Okay. That sounds good.

Ryuji: awesome! see ya then!

Akechi sighs and opens up his blocked contacts. There's quite a few but it doesn't take long to find Akira's number. He unblocks it and sends a message.

Akechi: Going through others to get to me, huh? Rather pathetic of you, Kurusu.

The response comes quicker than expected.

Akira: Sorry. I just wanted to talk to you.

Akechi: Then talk.

Akira: Did I do something to upset you?

Akechi: Nothing in particular.

Akira: So you blocked me because....?

Akechi: I guess I just got overwhelmed, is all.

Akira: Sorry.

Akechi: You don't have to apologize. Is that all you wanted to talk about?

Akira: I was also wondering...

Akira: What are your intentions with Ryuji?

Akechi: Intentions? Am I not allowed to befriend your friends, Kurusu?

Akira: No, that's not it! I was just wondering because you two never seemed to get along very well.

Akechi: We get along fine.

Akira: That's good, I'm glad. Ryuji is a good friend to have.

Akechi: I know.

Akira: Why did you take him to the Metaverse alone yesterday?

Akechi: That's not your business.

Akira: He's my teammate. It is my business.

Akechi: We went to blow off steam, that's it. You can't tell me you don't take trips to Mementos alone sometimes to do the same.

Akira: I don't. It's dangerous to go alone.

Akechi: If you're just going to lecture me, I'm going to block you again.

Akira: Wait! Please don't.

Akechi: That was a joke, Kurusu, calm down.

Akira: Oh.

Akechi: Anyway, I should be getting back to sleep. It is the middle of the night, you know.

Akira: I know. Morgana is bugging me to stop talking to you and go to sleep.

Akechi: What are you doing up anyway?

Akira: Can't sleep. I was worried about you after today.

Akechi: Worried about me?

Akira: Ryuji said you freaked out after using your power on the Reaper? Are you okay after that?

Akechi: I'm fine now. Ryuji actually helped me feel better.

Akira: He's good at that, isn't he?

Akechi:. I guess that's why you guys keep him around, huh?

Akira: Huh? What's that supposed to mean?

Akechi: It means that you only keep Ryuji around to use him when it benefits you, but otherwise you don't even like him, right?

Akira: Is this still about that night you found him?

Akechi: Yes. He might have forgiven you all, but I haven't. He deserved better than that. He deserves better period.

Akira: I know. We screwed up.

Akechi: Yeah. Anyway, I am tired and want to get to sleep now, so I'll be going.

Akira: Okay. Goodnight, Akechi. Sleep well.

Akechi doesn't respond. He puts his phone down and lays back down. He hadn't realized he was still so salty about what the Phantom Thieves did to Ryuji, but now that he thinks about it, it still very much bothers him. Ryuji didn't deserve that treatment, and the way the Phantom Thieves keep brushing it aside is bothersome too. They should be groveling on the ground, begging for forgiveness. But, Akechi guesses it isn't his place to be mad anymore. If Ryuji forgives them, then he supposes that's what matters. Still, it's frustrating.

This is a part of what it means to care about someone, isn't it? Akechi realizes this with an unamused laugh to himself. Caring about Ryuji means caring about the way Ryuji is treated. What a load of bullshit that is. Akechi thought he was beyond that sort of thing, yet here he is. Caring. With a sigh, he pulls up Ryuji's text again. Ryuji deserves to be treated well, and he deserves to know how important he is.

I'm sorry you got hurt today.

Akechi deletes the message. He's not about to apologize for something that isn't his fault, and besides, that's not what he wants to say anyway.

Thank you for today.

Again, he deletes the message. It feels redundant after already telling Ryuji he had a good time today.

I enjoy spending time with you. A lot, actually.

He deletes this one, too. It's too sappy.

You make me feel things that I

This one is deleted before he finishes typing the thought. It's too much to have written at all.

You're important to me.

Akechi sits on this one for a bit before deleting it as well. He turns his phone off and decides not to send anything after all. He'll make Ryuji feel cared for tomorrow when they hang out again. Akechi finds himself smiling as he thinks about it. It's a good feeling to have something nice to look forward to. It feels tingly in his chest. This time, when he falls back asleep, his dreams are filled with a smiling blond. He doesn't remember them when he wakes up.

When morning comes, Akechi doesn't want to get out of bed. He isn't supposed to hang out with Ryuji until after he gets out of school, so there's really no point to getting up yet. He supposes he should eventually call in to work before they assume he's quit with no notice, but he doesn't really feel like it. He should also let his school know that he isn't a missing person anymore. The fact that neither of them tried to contact him during his time away makes him hesitant to try, though. If they don't care if he shows up or not, why should he care? Akechi sighs and stares at his ceiling. He recognizes his mood is entering a dangerous zone of apathy, but is too apathetic to do anything about it. That almost makes him laugh, but he doesn't have the energy so he just smiles to himself.

Akechi only just woke up but he's already so tired. He turns his face into his pillow and breathes in deeply. The smell of his sweat greets him and makes him sit up in disgust. With nothing else to do today, he might as well change his bedsheets. Maybe getting up and doing something will give him some more energy, too.

After stripping his bed of dirty sheets, Akechi dumps them in the washer. While they wash he puts fresh sheets on the bed and faceplants into it. It smells like linen; so much better than dried sweat. He wasn't planning on falling back asleep in bed, but he must have drifted off because his phone startles him awake with a text sound.

Ryuji: am I coming over to your place after school or are we going to Mementos again?

It's Ryuji. Akechi feels himself smile against his control.

Akechi: Come over to my place and we can figure it out from there. I'm not sure if I have the energy for Mementos today but we can go if you want to.

Ryuji: nah, it was just a suggestion. we can just chill and hang out. maybe Featherman will be on again ;)

Akechi: I'm not sure what that winky face is supposed to be saying and I'm not sure I like the implications.

Ryuji: the implication is that you like Featherman like a big nerd

Akechi: Is that a crime?

Ryuji: nah, I think it's cute.

Cute. Akechi's breath catches in his throat. Did he really just call me cute? Is he... flirting? There's no way that's even possible. Ryuji? Flirting? With Akechi Goro of all people? Impossible.

But....

He should probably flirt back, right? Just in case.

Akechi: So, you're into nerds then?

Ryuji: that ain't what I said! shut up

Akechi: I'll keep that in mind ;)

Ryuji: now I'M not sure I'm likin' the implications of that winky face!

Akechi smiles behind his hand as though someone could see him looking like a smitten fool texting on his phone. He certainly feels like one. All that's missing is the stereotypical leg kicking that girls do in movies and shows. He's not about to roll onto his stomach and kick his legs up like a giggly schoolgirl, so he's safe from looking too smitten.

Is this what a crush feels like? He wonders. He's never really had a crush before, unless whatever he had going on with Kurusu counts as a crush. That felt different than this. He wanted to crush Kurusu in his fist. With this, he feels like he wouldn't mind if Ryuji crushed him in a hug. Maybe it's too dangerous to have Ryuji come over after all. Unless Akechi is overreacting and these are all normal friendship feelings. To be fair, he's never had many of those either.

Akechi: Besides, if liking Featherman makes me cute, then you're cute too.

Akechi sends the message without much thought. Then there's a long silence. His face falls. Was that too much? Did he misread the messages somehow? Is Ryuji uncomfortable? Just when he's starting to panic that he's ruined everything, his phone's text notification snaps him out of it again.

Ryuji: I ain't cute! I'm handsome.

Akechi sighs in relief. It's not ruined after all.

Akechi: While that may also be true, you are still cute too.

Again there is a long pause. Akechi imagined Ryuji on the other side getting all flustered. He hides his own face in his pillow at the thought, despite there being nobody around to see him. Fuck, he really is smitten, isn't he?

Ryuji: I guess that's fine. as long as I'm handsome too, that's fine.

Akechi stops himself from agreeing that yes, Ryuji is indeed handsome. That seems like a step too far into flirting territory to come back from. If what they're doing even counts as flirting. He doesn't know.

Ryuji: Damn, I gotta get back to class now. Talk to you soon!

Ryuji texts again, this time notifying Akechi of the time. They must have been talking through Ryuji's lunch break. His stomach rumbles, calling to attention that Akechi never ate anything when he first woke up. Reluctantly, Akechi gets out of bed and moves the wet sheets to the dryer before making himself some leftovers from dinner last night for lunch. It's just as bland as it was the night before, but it fills him.

It feels like forever before Ryuji gets out of school. Featherman is unfortunately not on today, but there is a movie marathon of the Star Wars films. He puts that on and waits for Ryuji. Eventually, finally, there's a knock at his door and Akechi is quick to answer it. Sure as anything, there is his blond friend grinning at him as soon as he opens it.

"I brought snacks!" Ryuji holds up a bag of snacks from the convenience store. Akechi notices salt and vinegar chips in the bag and feels warm.

"Is that what took you so long?" Akechi asks, taking the bag from Ryuji so he can take his shoes off. He's still got his school uniform on so at least he didn't run all the way home before coming over.

"Sorry for the wait, but I thought you'd appreciate some snacks." Ryuji shrugs. Akechi spares him a smile and pulls out the bag of chips he spotted earlier.

"I do appreciate it." He admits, surprising even himself with how genuine he sounds. Ryuji smiles back at him for a moment before entering into his apartment.

"So, whatcha watching? Is that Star Wars? Dude." Ryuji turns to look at Akechi with a serious face. "You are not looking like any less of a nerd now."

Akechi tilts his chin up proudly stands up straight. "Am I not allowed to be a secret nerd? Are you the nerd police?" Ryuji snorts.

"Secret? Dude, ain't nothing secret about it. You use a lightsaber in the Metaverse." Ryuji points out with another laugh. He makes a fair point.

"Is my lightsaber not cool?" Akechi asks, taking on a joking tone but deep down slightly worried how Ryuji will respond. His worries are unfounded because Ryuji laughs and shakes his head.

"Of course your lightsaber is cool! It's a cool as shit weapon. Kinda wish I had one."

"Your bat is pretty cool too." Akechi reasons. Ryuji shrugs and flops down on Akechi's couch.

"Yeah, I guess. I like how it feels in my hands. Makes me feel powerful. I've held Yusuke's sword before and it just doesn't feel right in my hand. Prolly would be the same with your lightsaber."

"How about next time we go to Mementos, we switch weapons for a fight or two? Does that sound fun?" Akechi suggests, sitting down next to Ryuji.

"Yeah! That sounds like fun. If you think you're strong enough to swing around my bat."

"Oh I think I'm perfectly capable of handling your bat, Ryuji." Akechi doesn't realize how suggestive that sounds until it's already been said, but luckily Ryuji doesn't seem to notice. Akechi sure notices though, and his mind is assaulted by the idea of "handling" Ryuji's "bat". Akechi's face turns bright red so quickly he can feel it happen.

"I'm going to go grab something to drink. Do you want anything?" Akechi says, standing up quickly to hide his face.

"Do you still have that soda I brought over last time?" Ryuji responds.

"Yeah, I barely touched it, just like I told you I would."

"Well let's touch it now! Get yourself some too, come on." Akechi rolls his eyes but gets himself some soda as well. By the time he comes back with the sodas, his blush has calmed down and he no longer has Ryuji's "bat" invading his mind.

The soda has gotten somewhat flatter than it was when he first opened it, but the fizz still makes Akechi cringe a little. After the first sip he gets used to it enough to drink without making any faces. Luckily Ryuji doesn't notice, his attention on the TV.

"Which one is this?" he asks, referring to the movie.

"The Empire Strikes Back." Akechi answers quickly, barely needing to think about it. Ryuji smirks over at him and mouths "nerd" but Akechi ignores him and opens a bag of salt and vinegar chips.

Akechi didn't expect watching a movie he's seen hundreds of times to be so fun when watching it with a friend. It's almost like watching it for the first time again. Ryuji has already seen it too, of course, so it's not even like he's experiencing it vicariously through him. It just feels so different from watching it alone. When he makes jokes about the characters actions, Ryuji laughs and makes his own jokes. Akechi shares random facts that he's learned about the series during commercial breaks and Ryuji listens attentively. He calls Akechi a nerd again for knowing all this stuff about Star Wars, but Akechi decides that's okay.

"You know, you're kinda like Luke, aren't you?" Ryuji says randomly during a commercial break. Akechi looks at him with confusion.

"In what way am I anything like Luke?" He asks. It doesn't make any sense, but hearing Ryuji say it still makes the child inside of Akechi happy. He always wanted to be a hero like Luke when he was little. But now he's far too jaded to believe he could be anything like any hero when he's so clearly villainous.

"Well, both your fathers are evil." Ryuji points out. This earns a hearty laugh from Akechi. "Hey, why are you laughing?"

"I wasn't expecting that to be the only reason! God, I'm like a lot of different characters if the only criteria is having an evil father."

"There's other reasons! You also have a lightsaber..." This makes Akechi laugh harder.

"Is that all? Please, Ryuji, Luke Skywalker and I are nothing alike in any way that matters."

"You both know what it's like to be tempted by the dark side." Ryuji adds like it's a good point.

"The dark side isn't real, Ryuji."

"I know, but if it was you'd be on it."

"Ouch." Akechi laughs. "You're right, though. I would be on the dark side if it was real. But how does that make me like Luke? He resisted the call to the dark side."

"Okay damn, I was just trying to make conversation but I guess I said something kinda stupid." Ryuji ruffles his hair in embarrassment. With a smile, Akechi reaches over and ruffles it too. It's soft.

"Don't say that. You're not totally stupid for trying to compare me to a classic hero. Just kind of stupid."

Ryuji glares at him and Akechi realizes how close they are. He removes his hand from Ryuji's hair and sits back.

"Anyway, Luke is a good person. That should be enough to make him nothing like me." Akechi adds. Ryuji gives him a sideways look but Akechi refuses to see it.

"You're not a bad person, Goro." Ryuji chides. Akechi still refuses to look at him.

"I'm not a good person, either. You can not seriously claim that I am. And if you try then you really are stupid."

"Okay okay I get it. I know you ain't exactly a "good" person, but you're still better than a lot of people are. That's worth something, ain't it?"

"Can we talk about something else? I'm tired of debating my moral standing with you." Akechi responds, shutting down the frankly ridiculous conversation. Ryuji lets out a sigh and rolls his eyes, but thankfully changes topic.

"Okay okay. Whatever." He grumbles, then sits up straighter. "Do you wanna go to Mementos again today? Or do something else?"

"I think I'm too tired for Mementos today." Akechi replies.

"That's fine. You didn't sleep well last night?" Ryuji pries, and for some reason Akechi isn't peeved about it.

"No, I didn't. Night terrors." He explains easily.

"Aw. Where they about what happened yesterday?"

"Not really. It was-" Akechi stops himself for a moment, unsure if he really wants to talk about it. He glances over at Ryuji and finds nothing in his face but honest compassion. "It was about my victims. All the people I've killed." As he speaks, his voice lowers. He watches the confidence fade from Ryuji's expression as he realizes it won't be easy to comfort him on this one.

"Oh. Uh." Ryuji sputters. Akechi would find it funny if he weren't already depressed. "That's... That's rough, man. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. It's good to just get that off my chest." Akechi says, and he means it, too. It was hard, but saying it out loud makes it feel like a bit of weight has been lifted. He's sure the weight will never be fully lifted, that the guilt of killing is something he'll forever carry with him, but being able to talk about it is therapeutic in a way.

"Yeah I mean, it's a good thing you feel guilt for what you've done but nightmares are bad." That earns a chuckle from Akechi.

"Yeah, nightmares are bad." He agrees, amused by the simplicity of Ryuji's comment.

"Uh, if you want, next time you have nightmares you can call me to talk about it." Ryuji's offers.

"Even if it's early in the morning?"

"Even if it's early in the morning." Ryuji repeats.

Akechi blinks owlishly at him. Surely he can't mean that, right? But looking into his eyes Akechi knows that Ryuji is 100% serious. Akechi could call him up at 4 am and say he has a nightmare and Ryuji wouldn't even get mad.

"You have to stop expending your kindness on me, Ryuji. I don't deserve it." Akechi looks away, blinking hard against the tears threatening to spill.

"Let me decide how much of my kindness you deserve." Ryuji replies. Akechi can hear in his voice that he's smiling that blinding grin. He can't bring himself to look over or else he might do something stupid like cry or kiss him (or both, which is infinitely worse than one or the other.) Instead, he leans over and rests his side against Ryuji's.

"Thank you." He says softly. This is something he knows he can't argue about, so he might as well accept Ryuji's kindness graciously. Ryuji chuckles and puts an arm around his shoulder. It feels right.

"So, what do you feel like doing today? Just wanna sit here and watch Star Wars?" Ryuji asks, casually nuzzling against the top of Akechi's head. If it messes up his hair, Akechi can't bring himself to care.

"Mm, maybe. You are rather comfortable to lay on." Akechi admits.

"Wow I'm honored. Are you gonna fall asleep on me?" Ryuji shifts so Akechi can lay on him better.

"I just might. Is that a problem?"

"Nah. Sleep as long as you like."

"Maybe after a nap we can go out somewhere." Akechi suggests, closing his eyes.

"Where would you want to go?"

"I'm not sure. Why don't you decide while I nap?"

"Leaving all the work to me then, huh? Maybe I'll drag you to an arcade, then." Ryuji pokes him in the side teasingly.

"That doesn't sound bad. If that's what you want to do, then we can go to the arcade." Akechi replies, undisturbed.

"Wait, really? I thought you'd be too ''mature'' for something like an arcade."

"You really think that of me?" Akechi replies, a little disappointed. Then again, can he really blame Ryuji for thinking that? He did always hold himself above such frivolity. It's just that maybe now he thinks frivolity might be fun, actually.

"You're saying you do go to arcades and stuff?" Ryuji counters. He's right, of course. Akechi hasn't been to an arcade in... actually, he can't remember the last time he went to an arcade. Has he ever been to one? He thinks maybe not.

"Okay, so it's not my usual scene. It's not something I look down on, though. We can go to the arcade if that's what you want to do."

"Yeah, it could be fun. I'll show you my favorite games and kick your ass at them." Ryuji teases, gently squeezing Akechi with the arm around his shoulders. Akechi kind of wishes he'd do it again.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. I may not have the experience you do, but I'm a quick learner." Akechi replies, feeling his competitive nature getting fired up. Yes, going to the arcade with Ryuji does sound fun. In fact, he's very much looking forward to it.

"Oh hoho, those are fighting words, Goro. I'll take you down!"

"Not if I take you down first." Akechi cheerfully retorts.

"Right, right." Ryuji waves his free hand dismissively. "Hey, when do you want to go?"

"We can go now, actually." Akechi response, sitting up. Ryuji's arm lingers around his shoulder for a moment. He fixes his hair and looks at Ryuji with a smile. "I feel like making you eat your words more than I feel like napping."

"Alright then, but it'll be you who eats his words, Akechi Goro." Ryuji grins.

Together they stand up and get ready to go out. Akechi returns the soda to the fridge but leaves the snacks out. There's no point in cleaning them up just now. They leave with excited steps and for once in his life, Akechi feels like a little kid in a good way.