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Ten didn't spend a very good night. It happened to him quite frequently to stay up until very late or not managing to sleep properly. He didn't know the reason though: if it was — for example — because of the stress his school works were giving him, the anxiety of not being able to accomplish what he wanted in time, the endless thoughts he had or even the caffeine contained in the coffees he drank like water during the day.
That night was worse though. He had a really important exam the following week and he needed to stay relaxed and be well rested to be able to get the work done but when he laid on his bed, he couldn't even keep his eyes closed for too long before reopening them and staring at the ceiling. It was truly discomforting.
He was conscious of the fact that it was already day and that he didn't even get just half an hour of sleep. A sigh left his lips and he reached for his phone and grabbed it instantly when he found it, making a big effort to raise it and positioning it in front of his face in order to see what time it was.
6:45am. He groaned only at the sight, because he knew that it was too late to try and sleep for the nth time and had to get up sooner or later. Sure he could slack off for another half an hour, but it's not like it was going to alleviate his headache in any way. So he just opted to get up then and start thinking about how he should make his day productive with this headache of his.
Organizing his day was out of discussion though because, considering how he was feeling in that exact moment, it wasn't a good idea to try and pressure himself about doing all the things he wanted to do. It would only be counterproductive, since he always stressed about not being able to reach his deadlines and not doing everything he planned for a certain day. Ten really thought it wasn't an healthy way to approach the pile of things he had to do sometimes, but it was hard to change himself all of a sudden and he knew that he should really start to work on slowly reducing all the pressure he put on himself.
He contemplated for a moment, before thinking of something. Winwin. Being around the other always made him feel a lot better and maybe, just maybe, having his company would help him to brighten his mood. He didn't care about studying, sure they could study together at some point but he mostly wanted to be with him.
Ten didn't know how to explain it really, but the other made him feel a lot more than he wanted. Not because he didn't want to feel these things, but because he was scared of confessing. The thing was, that every time they were together, he instantly felt better; every time he touched him even jokingly, it made him crave his contact even more, even for just an hug. His smile and laugh though.. He didn't really believe about the so said butterflies in the stomach, but that was exactly how he could describe what he always felt during these moments.
Maybe he didn't want to admit it to himself, but probably it was more than just a crush. Not probably, he was sure of that. But who was he to risk and lose him just for this? He preferred to suck it up rather than losing him.
He decided to try and push these thoughts in the back of his head and lock it up for the moment, contemplating on whether he should ask the other if they could meet up or not.
Ten checked the time just in case, but he knew that he was already up. They slept over at each other's many times, so they got used by now to their respective routines and such, so knowing the times they usually got up wasn't that strange.
He went for it after a while and waited for a reply that didn't come too late.
Hey Ten ge~ yes I'm free today and I would love to! So, my house or yours?
[7:10am]
Ten couldn't help but smile at the message and nickname. The other truly managed to boost up his mood even with the tiniest thing.
In the end, they agreed on his house and that Ten would go there in just half an hour. And in that moment he could say that it was going to be a good day indeed.
___
Ten could remember well the worried look Winwin gave him when he saw him after opening the door. He guessed he did have a face for the other to react like that instantly.
Winwin could clearly notice the deep bags under his eyes and the peaked look on his face, and it really worried him. Ten didn't mention about not feeling well or anything during the days they didn't meet because of the various things they had to do for their upcoming exams, but he could see himself now that he wasn't exactly going though a wonderful period.
He instantly offered something warm to drink and Ten accepted, but instead of going to sit somewhere the older stayed by his side, head resting on his shoulder while looking at what he was doing through half shut eyes.
Winwin couldn't help but smile lightly at this. He did try to be subtle and not get noticed by the other, but usually he wasn't the type to enjoy skinship or close proximities of any types. With Ten it was different though.
He truly loved how the other could be clingy with him from time to time, mostly because Ten still respected his spaces and knew well when he could do more than just small touches — even jokingly ones — and when he shouldn't. Probably that means that he, in a way or another, could read through him and he didn't mind even one bit, because it was him.
When he was done filling the mug with hot water, he waited until it was done before removing the tea filter. He then looked at the other and noticed that his eyes were completely closed now. Winwin shook a bit his head while chuckling lowly; he then placed the opposite hand on the other's head and slowly massaged it.
"Ten, the tea is ready" he murmured softly, noticing how it made the other open his eyes almost instantly.
"Oh.. Was I falling asleep? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he said while yawning a bit.
He truly was the cutest.
"If you're tired it's fine, you can rest a bit" Winwin encourages with a smile, but evidently Ten wasn't that convinced.
"No no, I didn't come here to sleep.. I'm really sorry"
"But I really don't mind, you seem tired and I think it would only do you good"
Ten pouted and brought his hands closer to his face so that he could pinch his cheeks before squishing them, "I came here to be with you, we're both quite busy so I'm not gonna waste these hours."
Well, if that didn't surprise Winwin. They showed most of the time how much they enjoyed each other's presence, how much they loved being near one another but they were rarely vocal about it. So it made him extremely happy to hear that, even more when he saw Ten getting embarrassed at his own words when he realized what he just said.
"I mean, I didn't mean to.. I.." he started stuttering, and Winwin couldn't help but smile brightly, raising his hand so that he could pat him on the head.
"Yes yes, I know. I love being with you too," the taller replied and took the mug in his hand before continuing "well, the tea is ready so let's go sit somewhere"
Ten was glad he changed the subject, but what actually got him was the I love being with you too, not because he didn't know this already but because Winwin was the one saying it. God, he really was hopeless.
He followed Winwin in the other room and sat down beside him on the couch. The younger then handed him the mug and he gladly accepted him. He gave him a warm smile before taking a sip and hummed contently when he realized that it was his favourite flavour and that it was made how he liked it.
Winwin really made him feel all sorta thing. It was pretty evident that the younger took good care of him always, it didn't matter in which contest but he really did all he could to help him. And Ten couldn't even express how glad he was to have him by his side and to be cared of like he cared about the other. It made him the happiest.
He tried to hide his embarrassment at the realization by sipping small amount of tea consecutively, and he distanced the mug only when he was sure that the hotness he felt in his cheeks alleviated.
He then put himself in a more comfortable position — feets placed on the couch and legs close to his chest. Winwin had the remote in his hands and was searching something good to watch but still turned to watch him at some point.
"So.. Are you sure everything is okay?" he asked.
"Hm, I really have to accept defeat, do I?"
The brown haired boy laughed at this and nodded before saying, "I guess you do."
Ten let out a laugh himself before thinking about how he should word what the wanted to say. There really wasn't much to thing about since it wasn't who knows what, but still.
"You probably know this by now, but when I have stressful periods I tent to have trouble sleeping and my sleeping habits become really.. Bad" he sighed, then continued "I haven't slept properly in almost two weeks now."
Winwin thought deeply about it, and realized a small matter that he didn't want to point out because he probably was over thinking it. But that was exactly the time they couldn't really see each other by presence.
"You mean in.. Not totally sleeping or still sleeping a bit?"
"Some days I could sleep an hour or two, others I couldn't close my eyes, like tonight" he murmured lowly before taking a sip, but he still gave him a smile.
"You really don't have to worry though, it'll probably be over once I do my next exam since I'll have a bit more for the other one anyway.. You already take care of me like always, I don't want to worry you more"
Winwin looked into his eyes for a long while and the older was starting to blush under his gaze, but he still decided that it was better to wait for a reply.
What got him surprised was when he took his free hand in his and intertwined their fingers, giving it a long squeeze.
"I do worry about you a lot because I care about you even more so being worried almost comes natural, I know you do too about me and that you don't want me to for the same reasons but I do want to feel worried about you because it matters to me. You matter to me, and a whole lot at that" Winwin said in one go.
Ten really didn't know how to react to this, his body was completely frozen and he knew that his cheeks and ears were red because he could feel them literally burning and he was feeling hot and embarrassed himself. In fact, he diverted his gaze almost instantly. His heart was pounding almost too much and he almost feared that the other could hear it well enough just like he heard it pounding in his ears.
He really needed to calm himself and try to say something but he felt like he forgot both how to talk and move.
Winwin was having a moment too. It really got to him only after the words left his mouth, not because he didn't mean what he said but because he said that. He was both worried and embarassed: worried because he didn't know how the other could react and embarrassed because he truly was surprised at himself for saying these things out loud.
He tried to remain calm and put his gaze again on the other, but what he saw was beyond what he feared. It was probably the first time for him to see Ten that red and embarrassed — actually, the other did feel embarrassed quite often on a daily basis, but he had never seen him like that.
This gave him the hint and he smiled soflty, before taking the mug gently from his hand and putting it on the small table in front of them. He instantly got him closer and encircled his arms around the black haired boy's waist.
Ten didn't hesitate before going to hide his face between the crock of the other's neck and letting him hold on him. The younger massaged delicately his back with one hand, but he was still too embarrassed to say anything in that moment.
"Please take better care of yourself, I know it's hard and that you can't fall asleep on command but.. Take a break when you need to, don't push yourself too hard. You're already doing amazing, you've always done and you'll always do," Winwin said lowly.
The older didn't know how since he usually couldn't even sleep when he was feeling excited and/or embarrassed, but sleep really got to him. And the way Winwin was talking was literally lulling him to sleep, so he only managed to nod to let the other know that he heard and understood him before sleep took over him.
The brown haired boy still held him and let some time pass before checking on the older and seeing that he totally fell asleep. His head was, by then, more resting on his shoulder than being closer to the crock of his neck where he was hiding his face before, so he had a proper view of his face.
It's not like he has never seen Ten asleep before, but it was never this close. He clearly saw all the perfect lines of his face, how perfect and beautiful he was even with his eyes closed. Long, black lashes adorning his closed eyelids; rosy and also a bit chapped lips slightly open; the tiny scar on his cheek making him even more ethereal.
He truly was breathtaking.
He tried to return to reality and remembered just then that they were both still mostly sitting and that this would become uncomfortable later on, so he tried to move slowly and adjust Ten while doing this so that the other wouldn't wake up with a wrong movement.
He tried laying down and managed to do so after a bit, both because he was being careful and because he wanted to find a good position.
Ten ended up laying his upper body on Winwin and his legs on the couch, head still resting on the younger's shoulder; meanwhile Winwin had one of his legs on the couch and the other was just on the floor, holding on his feet. But he didn't mind: he wasn't feeling the position weighing on him and he actually felt comfortable enough, and in general he would prefer Ten to rest well above everything else.
Winwin had one of his arms around his waist to hold onto him and he put the hand of his other arm between the black haired boy's hair, massaging his scalp lightly. He was feeling content in that exact moment, because honestly he dreamed many times of this. It's not like they haven't cuddled before this but.. This was still different.
He sensed some changes in the atmosphere before and this felt even more intimate. They didn't really cuddle in this position before but it really wasn't only about it, this was just different and he didn't know how to explain it, it just made him feel like he was on cloud nine.
At some point, be it because of the other's reassuring presence or the fact that it felt so much comfortable, he ended up feeling sleepy. Hearing Ten's calm breath also sort of lulled him in a state of sleep and wakefulness, so he didn't exactly realize that he was falling asleep until he couldn't hear anything anymore and all he saw was black.
___
Ten felt confused when he started to get his senses back, even though he still had his eyes closed. He sort of felt disoriented but relaxed and comfortable at the same time, but he still hadn't catched up on what was happening.
Just after some seconds more he realised that he was laying on somebody and that usually it was something that he wouldn't even do, he actually didn't remember laying on someone but then again, he could clearly tell it was Winwin.
He shifted a bit before yawning a bit and slowly opening his eyes. As expected, the first thing he saw was Winwin's face and he couldn't help but smile while rubbing his hand a bit on one of his eyes in function to see more clearly. He then noticed that Winwin was looking down at him and he couldn't help but feel a bit shy to have his full attention, he liked that a lot though.
"Hi," Ten murmured with raspy voice from sleep.
"Hi," Winwin replied, giving him a warm smile.
They ended up looking at each other's eyes for a while, but this time there was less embarrassment and more of a fond look in each other's eyes.
"Did I sleep for too long?"
"Considering that I ended up falling asleep too, not really.. I woke up only half an hour ago" the younger said with a tiny laugh at the end.
Ten nodded and still laid there comfortably, but then it hit him: "did I sleep like this for the whole time? Are you aching somewhere? I'm so sorry" he said in a frantic voice now while lifting his head a bit to have a better look of his face.
The brown haired boy instantly shook his head "no no no, I actually spent a bit to find a good position for the both of us so I'm totally fine," he reassured.
Ten didn't seem convinced, but at some point he just nodded because he knew that Winwin truly was that thoughtful. He was still worried though.
"Okay fine, but if I weigh or if it becomes too much just tell me"
"You? Weighing?" the younger scoffed, "you're as light as a plume."
The other hit him lightly on the chest and let out a laugh, and Winwin faked an hurt expression "what? I'm only stating the truth."
Ten just sticked out his tongue at him and the other laughed before he adjusted himself on top of him and laid on his stomach, placing both of his hands on his shoulders.
They went back to looking intently at each other's eyes, fond gaze still there but they could both sense something different compared to just some minutes ago.
"Can I.." Winwin tried to ask but he was stopped from going on in a really unexpected but welcomed way. He didn't really notice how it happened since he was about to ask exactly that, but Ten preceded him and — with closed eyes — placed his lips on his.
The brown haired boy caught his breath at that and could notice how his heart started pounding faster, it took him a while before he could do something because he firstly had to realize that what was happening was real.
A shaky breath left his nostrils and he tightened his hold on the other's waist and put his hand on his cheek, eyes closing immediately after that and he kissed him back.
It was a very calm and sweet kiss, just like he imagined would be like to kiss him, but better. His lips were soft and delicate and it felt like they belonged to his, both of their lips being meant to complete each other's just like the matching pieces of a puzzle.
Ten himself didn't know where he took the courage to do so, but it felt right in that exact moment. He sort of knew what the other was about to ask and his body acted on his own; maybe it was all the waiting, the need of feeling his lips on his, but he didn't think about anything else before doing it. And he didn't regret it even one bit, it was perfect. Truly, amazingly perfect.
They had to stop the kiss to catch their breath, but they were still close enough to the point that their noses were touching and they could sense their erratic breaths on their lips.
The smile they exchanged said it all, said what they wanted to say but that, deeply inside of them, they already knew. Words weren't needed in that moment, because that one kiss already expressed more than words could.
"Do you want to stay over tonight?"
"Will I bother though? I know you're preparing hard for your exam.."
"Not in a million years, we can study together tomorrow and I need you to stay here with me," Winwin insisted and tried his best to mark the word need to make the other understand.
Ten couldn't help but flush, he still nodded willingly though. "To be honest, I would love to stay with you."
Winwin smiled and nodded, "well, it's decided then."
"Can I.. Kiss you again?" Ten asked instead of replying to the previous topic. He was sure that this just confirmed how much he wanted to stay and be with him more than anything else.
The younger didn't reply, but leaned in and made their lips collide with each other softly.
If it was a dream, both of them didn't want to wake up. But it all felt too real to just be a dream, the kiss felt too amazing to just be an imagination.
Lips kept on dancing lovingly with each other, alternating between slow and fast paces but still maintaining it caste.
All the unspoken things they haven't said, but that they were sure they would at some point, were contained in that one kiss. And they knew that this was only the start to more things to happen, to more kisses to give and to a new whole story and chapter to write.
And they couldn't wait to do all of this together, just like before but with a more conscious view of what they truly were to each other.