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Happy Hogan is freaking out.
When Tony and Pepper announced their engagement he’d been run ragged trying to supervise proper security for the two.
When Tony had gone up to space and half the world turned to dust, there’d been Pepper alone to protect. Half his personnel had died and the kid’s aunt… well… It all made him that much more determined to protect Pepper. He wanted to take her to the bunker in Montana—he knows Tony has one—but she insisted on staying at the compound.
Then Tony had come back from space. The relief he’d felt by Tony beating the odds once again was enormous, and he’d sported a grin long enough to actually live up to his nickname for a couple days.
After that, there was no way he’d be leaving the couple on their own until Tony had new security in place.
So if Pepper and Tony wanted to go to a lake in the middle of godforsaken nowhere, then that was where they were gonna go. They would just have to also bring Happy, and apparently Rhodey for a while, in tow.
But that was a couple of months ago, and the grin was gone. War Machine had left after a call from Carol, and that left the security of the cabin down to Friday, a spare suit, some grainy satellite footage, and “Happy” Harold Hogan.
Consequently, Happy is freaking out.
“Tony, we need more security”
Tony groaned as he lay out on the porch, his back flat out against the wooden slates and he let out a frustrated sigh.
Happy figured the frustration was only partly directed at him. Tony had planned to spend the afternoon on the porch doing basic exercises to try and get a bit more in shape, but his still far-too-thin frame apparently wasn’t up for that yet.
“You should take a break boss,” he said.
Tony gave another groan before giving up, simply propping himself up on his elbow to gaze out at the lake. Ever since he’d come back from space he’d spent as much time as possible out in the open air, to the point of even taking short hikes, which was understandable. Still, that was yet another reason to increase security.
Tony got to his feet, sitting down heavily in a chair, “I’d still totally kick your ass one-on-one”
Happy watched him, keeping his face blank, “Absolutely boss.”
“I’ve got moves.”
Happy felt a bug on his neck and he slapped it away, remembering why he hated going to the middle of nowhere, “It’s called dirty boxing.”
Tony nodded, smirking slightly, “Exactly.”
There was a lull in the conversation. Happy tried to swat the bug away from his face. It wouldn’t go away.
“You know what you could be doing right now instead of overtaxing that body of yours?”
Tony raised an eyebrow at him.
“Implementing new security measures.”
Tony groaned again, loudly, “Happy we told you. We came out here because we needed space. We don’t want someone watching our every move—”
Happy interrupted, “Yeah, yeah, yeah but there are worse threats out there than a few interested photographers—”
Tony interrupted, firmly and loudly, “I know that Happy. Don’t you think I know that? And guess what? The threat came, and it was stronger than us. Despite all our efforts to implement greater security measures, in the end, everything we tried did jack shit. So forget it; I’m just gonna enjoy what I have while I have it, while it’s still here.”
There was another lull, but this one far less peaceful. The bug had buzzed away. Happy knew they were both trying not to think a different person, Spiderperson, who wasn’t here anymore.
Tony covered his eyes with his hand, “What are you still doing here anyway; isn’t your hour up or something?”
Happy narrowed his eyes at Tony. That was a low blow. Since the snap and Tony came back from space, Happy had made sure to stay close to the couple. For some reason, he wasn’t particularly worried when they were together, but whenever they parted, even just to other sides of a lake house, Happy could feel the anxiety prickling on the back of his neck.
To sum it up, whenever Tony and Pepper separated, Happy would go back and forth between the two, just to check on them. He never went longer than an hour without going to see the other one, or call, if they were too far away.
Tony joked that he must be trying to work off all those cheeseburgers.
Pepper said it was Happy’s way of coping. There was a lot of that going around these days.
Happy didn’t want to think about it.
Frowning, he got to his feet.
“Yeah, well someone needs to look after your asses,” he muttered halfheartedly.
Tony looked at him, an apology in his gaze, “I know Happy. We appreciate it, really. But we’re all good. I promise.”
Happy nodded and walked into the house, heading to spot Pepper in the kitchen putting away dishes.
He was entering the kitchen, walking up on Pepper from behind when—apparently out of nowhere—all the pots were knocked off the shelf and landing around him and Pepper.
Hurrying to check on her Happy tripped over a large saucepan lying near his right foot while Pepper jumped up and ran out of the room, a door slamming.
Tony rushed in with panicked eyes, then stopped to stare down at Happy.
He put his hands on his hips, “So much for being all good. Shit Hogan, what did you do?”
Pepper was staring down at the bathroom sink. Correction, she was trying not to stare at what had landed in the bathroom sink.
She heard Hogan’s voice through the door, asking concernedly if she was alright. She tried not to be too annoyed by his protectiveness, which had grown suffocating lately. To be fair, all the pots falling onto the floor had been rather dramatic.
“I’m fine Hap,” she called back.
“Honey?” came Tony’s voice.
“It’s fine. I’m okay,” she called, and then muttered, under her breath, “Just give me a minute.”
Tony took a deep breath, “Was it the watermelon?”
On the other side of the door, Happy looked at him, confused.
“No, the watermelon’s fine, promise.” she called back.
Happy’s face grew into a deep frown.
“There was no watermelon in the house,” he said.
“What?” replied Tony, to which Happy repeated himself.
Tony went back to the kitchen and picked up a couple of pans and moved them into the kitchen sink.
“Sure there was Hap, you just forgot.”
Happy began shaking his head, at first slowly, then more vigorously, “No. No, I watched Pepper unload groceries yesterday. I specifically remember there was no watermelon.”
Tony shrugged, “Don’t know what to tell you Hap. I saw her eating it, uh, this morning. Must have just disagreed with her stomach or something. That’s why she’s in the bathroom.”
Happy frowned further, “Then where’d she get it?”
Before Tony could answer, Happy’s eyes widened and he rushed toward the bathroom door, banging on it frantically, “Pepper! Pepper come out! We have to get you to the hospital! I don’t know how they got it in past Friday but someone’s trying to poison you!”
Happy kept banging on the door until Pepper suddenly swung it open. She stood straight with one hand on her hip and an angry glare looking down at him. Then she glanced at Tony.
“I know I said I wanted to wait, but Tony can we?”
Happy looked over and saw that for some reason Tony appeared to be stifling his laughter. Well, he was no help at all. Maybe he’d been hit with a poison too, or like laughing gas or something?
“Happy,” Pepper said sharply.
Harold turned around to look at her.
“I’ve not been poisoned. Somehow, a few months ago, despite the amount of work that we were both occupied with Tony somehow managed to get me pregnant. We’re still not entirely sure how, but this baby’s a Stark, so of course they beat the odds.
“I was reaching for a pot when I felt the morning sickness kick in and in my rush to get to the bathroom I knocked all the pots down. Now pregnancy hormones are real and I’m not at my most patient right now. All the banging and yelling has given me a headache on top of the morning sickness, so I’m going to lie down in bed. Please leave me alone, take Tony back outside or something and stop freaking out.”
Harold gaped at her. Agilely, and ignoring his stare at her barely prominent stomach, Pepper moved around him and headed to the bedroom.
“Yu-you’re having a baby?” Happy got out, at last, a huge grin starting to form on his face.
Pepper paused, rolled her eyes but looked at him fondly, “Yes, Happy, I’m having a baby.”
Happy began rambling, flustered, “Is there anything I can do? What can I do? See we will need those security measures now and I should do something and Pepper what should I do?”
Pepper groaned and began closing the door.
“I don’t care Hogan,” she called back, but paused again upon seeing him slump like a scolded puppy.
Pepper rolled her eyes but smiled.
“Oh, go get me some groceries that I don’t have to cook in a pot,” she said.
“On it!” he called back, and the door closed.
Then he turned to look at Tony.
“You’re gonna be a dad.”
“I know.”
“Bet it’ll be a boy. He’ll work with you in the shop and I’ll teach him to box and—“
Tony interrupted, “Nah, it’ll be a girl. I can feel it. But she’ll most definitely work with me in the shop.”
Happy looked him up and down, “That sure huh? Want to bet on it?”
Tony crossed his arms, “You’re on. Terms?”
Hogan looked at the beard Tony hadn’t yet got round to shaping into the usual goatee, “If it’s a boy, you have to go clean-shaven.”
Tony stared at him, mouth open.
Happy chuckled, “What? You’re so sure it’s gonna be a girl.”
Tony closed his mouth, “Fine. But when it’s a girl, you’re gonna have to grow a goatee.”
They shook on it.
Happy chuckled, shaking his head, “Man, you a father? Ten years ago I never would have guessed.”
Tony shrugged and let out a chuckle of his own, “I know.
Happy tapped him on the back, “Wow, just wait a few years and you’ll be teaching them how to hammer metal and what rock songs to listen to and seeing them bring home a girlfriend or a boyfriend...”
Tony’s face suddenly took on a pinched look, “Girlfriend? B-boyfriend?”
Happy stifled a chuckle, “Well, not for a few years.”
Tony began pacing nervously, “She’s gonna be a girl; I just know it.”
He stopped, “Happy, I think we need more security measures!”
Happy pumped his arm up in the air, “Yes!”
Hogan left Tony to it, knowing Pepper would veto any of the more ridiculous ideas. He went to get Pepper’s groceries.
He brought back plenty of watermelon.
Tony, Rhodey, and Happy were all staring down at the adorable bundle in Pepper’s arms. She was the most perfect thing they’d ever seen.
“I think it’s my turn to hold her again,” Tony muttered.
Pepper rolled her eyes, “You held her almost the whole time I’ve been awake today.”
“You had her the whole time you were drifting in and out of sleep,” Tony responded.
“That doesn’t count.”
“I think at least 12% of it should count.”
Rhodey groaned, “Seals over a grape; I’m telling you.”
They all went quiet again to stare in wonder at the baby.
Rhodey broke the moment, “That’s what you should name her: Grape. The Great Grape Stark, daughter of—”
“Yeah no,” Tony said, "remind me not to let you name your own future kids."
Happy nodded, “Of course not, Grape’s an awful name.”
“Thank you,” Tony agreed, pointing in his direction.
“You should name her Watermelon,” Happy said.
Tony was about to go off on him when Pepper rolled her eyes and spoke, gesturing at Rhodey, “Hey, godfather, your terrible taste in names notwithstanding, could you hold her for a minute?”
Tony turned back, “What? I’ve been waiting—“
Pepper interrupted him, taking his hand and pulling him closer to the bed, “Actually we didn’t want to say anything until you were both in the room. We’ve decided on a name; well actually we decided on a first name a long time ago but now we decided the middle name…”
Happy and Rhodey waited.
Tony squeezed Pepper’s hand, looking at her fondly, and then spoke up, “Harold Hogan and James Rhodes, I’d like you to meet Morgan Happy Stark.”
Happy wasn’t crying. Nope. Not crying. Not crying. Not—
Morgan burped.
Yep. She was definitely a Stark.
Happy didn’t have the words to thank them, but that was ok; they knew.
Rhodey and Happy crept out to let the new parents have time alone with their child. Tony was tapping Morgan on the nose and Pepper was fussing at him, chuckling.
Happy made his way out of the hospital doors and into the sunshine, taking a moment to feel the heat of the sun on his face.
He was totally still freaking out, but this time it was in a good way.
Happy was strangely… happy.
This was written for the fanfic prompt for Day 5 Pepperony Week: missing scenes (5 years mid-Endgame).
Another fic I wrote for this series, Morgan H. Stark also counts for that prompt, and this could also be considered a missing scene from that fic. Check it out!
Thanks for reading! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!