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Tony looked at Steve, at the man whose praises he’d heard sung since he was still in the womb, America’s perfect, honest, selfless “hero.”
They lost, and he wasn’t there.
“No trust. Liar.”
He falls, and the next thing he wakes up to is Pepper. He’d wanted to keep the world safe for her. It’s all he’s ever wanted to do, and he’s failed. He’s failed— and doesn’t deserve the love in her eyes as she cups his face and looks at him right in the eyes.
He can’t force himself to turn away.
They go back to that lake house he’d bought years ago, after the team first began to split, when he’d wanted to protect the world and Ultron happened instead. His first real failure since Afghanistan, in a way.
He’d wanted to buy a farm. Pepper said no. He said he could make it small. What if it just had a couple of cows and like… bunny rabbits or something? What did they keep on farms anyway?
Pepper said if he ever bought her another rabbit she was going to have Friday lock him out of any and all workshops for all eternity.
He conceded and bought her a cabin by a lake instead. He had it under good authority that while the local wildlife did include a number of harmless grass snakes, bunny rabbits were quite rare in the area.
But then the Avengers business kept happening and then they went on a break and then Spiderkid got into trouble and well…
They’d never really made it back to the lake, until now.
He tries to enjoy it, to cherish the fact that even amidst all the loss and death, he still has the love of his life.
He doesn’t wholly manage it, but as the days go by at least he feels a little more able to breathe.
It’s a good day. The sun’s shining, he’s making Pepper breakfast and the nightmares only woke him up once last night.
She’s been so strong: supporting him, supporting the company, supporting the hundreds of relief efforts that S.I. has been sending out all around the world (not that they’re managing to do even half of the work that’s needed).
She deserves breakfast in bed.
He contemplates making her an omelet, but decides that might have too many negative connotations. He’s also not sure if his omelets are completely edible or not.
He goes for toast and fruit instead, and only slightly burns it.
He opens the door quietly but is surprised to see the bed empty. He tamps down the panic that comes from an irrational idea that Pepper’s disappeared just like half the universe and forces himself to breathe. Popping the tray onto the mattress he turns and sees the light on in the bathroom, the bathroom door left open just a crack. Now that he thinks about it he can hear the sink running. In relief, he strides toward the doorway and opens the door. He doesn’t think about it; he just wants to reassure himself that she’s still here.
He sees Pepper, and she’s looking down at something in her hand, and he just… freezes.
Pepper’s ignoring the running sink, and instead gaping down at the thing in her hand, complete with two pink lines.
The sound of the sink is growing into a roar in his ears, and everything but that white stick goes blurry. He opens his mouth to say something, anything.
The memories are coming fast and overlaying each other. There’s his father yelling at him and a drunken and utterly sincere promise to himself at 17 to never become a father. There’s Harley, a couple of years after the mess with the Mandarin, telling him he’d make a good dad one day. There’s Pepper in the park and telling her about a dream of a kid named Morgan. There’s the kid, Peter, scared and falling to dust in his arms.
Pepper’s looking up at him now, watching him with wide eyes.
He turns and flees to his workshop.
It’s not his proudest moment.
He’s just gotten his breath under control when he hears the door to his new workspace open.
Pepper walks in, concern showing in every inch of her body, “Tony, I… I didn’t mean to spring that on you like that. I had no idea; I figured my body was just reacting to stress but I thought I’d give myself peace of mind and just take the test to be sure and then… Are you okay?”
Tony looks up. He thinks of a couple months ago. A couple months ago, he’d been the one dreaming of kids. He’d had that dream, and it was so real… so beautiful. A year ago, Pepper would’ve got mad at him for freaking out and called him on it and he would have completely agreed with her and then they would have had celebratory make-up sex.
She should get mad at him now, and call him on his bullshit, but instead she’s walking in to make sure he’s okay, to take care of him, to clean up his messes just like she’s always done.
All of a sudden he’s watching the kid in the dream again. The face is fuzzy but the hair is thick and dark and he’s picking them up and spinning them around and Pepper’s smiling and the child’s laughter is the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.
He suddenly wants that dream to be real more than anything he’s ever wanted in his life—and he’s Tony Stark; he’s had a lot of wants.
Pepper, gorgeous, perfect Pepper is still looking at him, growing more concerned and harried by his silence.
“Tony?”
Startling her, he stands up and crosses the distance to her in three quick steps.
“I’m sorry.”
Pepper’s eyes widen, “You’re… you’re what?”
“I’m sorry.”
And he’s talking or rather he’s babbling and the words just keep coming but he needs Pepper to understand.
“I’m sorry I just freaked out on you and ran down here and left you standing up there alone—especially when you just found out what’s possibly the biggest news of our life together. I’m so sorry. I just started thinking about the kid and my dad and I got scared and I just know that I can’t fuck this up. But then, I see you and it’s all I want for our future. I’m still so thankful we have a future. I think back to before everything fell apart and I know I’m not at my best right now, physically or mentally, but I want to be better. I need to be better. I want him or her to have a dad who isn’t falling apart, even if they will have the best mom they could wish for. After the—well, you know—I didn’t see how life could ever be okay again but then I realize I still have you and I’m more grateful than I’ve been before in my life. I can’t wait to marry you and this child would be a way better wedding gift than anything I could ever get you. That's all if, if you want this too? Fuck, I didn’t even ask if—”
Pepper abruptly shushes him by placing a finger over his lips, a soft gleam in her eye.
Ignoring him, she looks up at the ceiling and asks a question, “Friday, was the test correct? Am I really pregnant?”
Friday replies, “Scans confirm. Everything looks healthy, and you appear to be about two months along, Boss Lady.
Pepper looks back at Tony, the corners of her lips beginning to turn up, “Looks like your dream was right. I’m never going to live this down am I?”
Tony begins to smile, because she’s smiling, so how could he not?
Pepper lets out a chuckle, grins wide, and says “We are not naming them Morgan.”
Tony picks her up and spins in her a circle, laughing, causing her to start hitting him and telling him to put her down, “Oh we absolutely are.”
He puts her on the ground again, and looks deep into her eyes, then down to her lips, “We’re having a baby, Miss Potts.”
She leans in to kiss him, “It would appear so, Mr. Stark.”
Tony gets help, and grows, and lets go. He marries Pepper, because she’s proof that Tony Stark has a heart. He finds a way to face and bury his demons, because Morgan is his second chance.
Morgan’s two when it happens.
He’s watching her, because Pepper needed to go into S.I. and sort out some upset with the remaining board members. He might have zoned out when she started explaining. Besides, he was busy feeding Morgan Cheerios. She loves them, and she’s adorable every time he “flies” the spoon toward her face, her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. She’s adorable all the time. Pepper will be back tonight anyway.
He wants to check on his experiment in the workshop, a new alloy with Vibranium he’s been trying out. He takes Morgan with him, because since he became a dad, that’s just how he rolls.
He sets her down and gives her a tiny hammer to play with while he fiddles with screens, looking over the results. That’s odd. The compound had synthesized, but it took a couple hours longer than it should have.
Before he realizes it he’s got his hands jumping to different keyboards and ordering Friday to run the experiment again on a smaller scale, heating several crucibles to different temperatures.
He doesn’t look up.
Four things happen at once.
The door opens and Pepper enters, having just come back from Stark Industries.
Friday begins to speak, warn him of something, but he doesn’t hear it because he sees Morgan—
Morgan is reaching her tiny hand out to touch the hottest crucible.
Tony is screaming out, “No Morgan!” and rushes and grabs her just in time, dragging her away from the heated material.
Everything’s silent, frozen, all for a split second. The family of three looks at each other with wide eyes.
Then Morgan is wailing and Pepper is screaming and Tony might be about to have a heart attack because Pepper’s screams are right because why wasn’t he watching her?
He’s a failure at being a father, just like he always thought he’d be.
Eventually, after everyone calms down and Pepper and he talk and he apologizes to Morgan and they all have a very serious talk about lab safety, he knows he isn’t a failure. He made a mistake, but he isn’t his father, and when he makes mistakes he tries to fix them. Morgan is his world, and she knows it.
He’s learning to forgive himself. Somehow, he knows that’s the first step.
It still takes him a couple of weeks to come back to the lab, and he leaves Morgan with Pepper and Happy.
He looks over at the crucibles he’d instructed Friday to abandon. The new alloy has corroded away the crucible and simply melted around it, encasing it in ugly, green-tinged brown.
That’s a no on that then. Not much use for a corrosive substance.
It’s melted, strangely, into a flat, almost perfect circle, and he glances over at another circular object containing Vibranium.
The Captain America shield is lying on its side in a dusty corner, echoing with the sounds of “we’ll do that together too,” and “liar.”
Pepper walks in, stating “Morgan’s with Happy,” at the rise of his eyebrows.
She walks up to him, notices what he’s looking at, and embraces him.
“You’ll have to face him someday,” she says.
His shoulders tense. “I’m not ready,” he mutters, turning his face into her shoulder.
He expects her to argue with him, but she simply nods and an expression of distaste suggests she’s maybe not as fond of the idea as he thought.
“Just cross that bridge when it comes to it,” she agrees.
“Maybe some bridges are better left burned,” he says halfheartedly, not without some bitterness.
Pepper cups his face, “Not if the embers are still hurting you,” she says.
Years go by, and he wakes one morning, wondering if he’s still dreaming. If so, it’s a beautiful dream.
Morgan had wanted to sleep with them that night, and he’s still awful at telling her no.
She’s snuggled into his shoulder, and Pepper’s snuggled around her.
He realizes he’d slept peacefully, and actually feels rested. How long has it been since he’s been able to say that?
Morgan H. Stark, middle name: Happy: after the bodyguard that never lives up to his nickname.
Rhodey was the godfather, but Happy got the name. Pepper and he agreed it was a fair split.
Plus, they figured that is exactly what she brought by coming into the then sad world, and he now truly feels it.
Happiness. Hope for a future spent happily with the two loves of his life, right here.
He thinks of Peter, and there’s still sadness, but he also remembers the good times, the laughs, the smiles… He remembers that despite what Peter had been through, he was the single most positive and happy kid that Tony had ever met. He hopes Morgan ends up as happy as that.
He remembers his last argument with Steve, and the argument before that, and the argument before that…
But he also knows he has a choice. He can let his bitterness and rage corrode him from the inside out until he becomes a bitter, angry man, not unlike his father was near the end. Or he can let it go, forgive, move on and be the most loving father to Morgan that he can be.
He looks at the two faces next to him, peaceful and angelic in sleep.
The choice is easy.
He’s about to go give Steve his time machine, but he’s not ready to go yet. He’s said goodbye to Pepper, and he’s looking down at a sleeping Morgan. She’d fallen asleep running around in the backyard and he’d carried her inside for a nap.
He and Morguna had said their goodbyes that morning, but he just wants to keep watching her, just for a minute.
She’s so perfect. She has his mother’s eyes and Pepper’s brain and the sass of both her parents put together.
He wants an even better world for her. One where she has Peter Parker looking out for her and the whole earth’s population isn’t traumatized by the massive loss of life just five years prior.
He hopes he can get it for her.
He gives Steve the time machine.
“Turns out, resentment is corrosive and I hate it,” Tony says.
“Me too,” Steve replies.
He gives Steve the shield. Tony's gonna bring back the last member of his family. He’s getting Peter back.