Chapter Text
Brian awoke to the soft sound of the heart monitor speeding up. He bolted up from his chair quickly, ready to press the call button with every worry of what was going wrong running through his head.
Only when he looked at the figure on the bed, did he realise there was a pair of blue eyes staring back at him.
The same two blue eyes he hadn’t seen in five months.
His heart leapt to his throat and he gasped, moving back so he was more in the blonde’s view.
The man made no other move other than his eyes following him, and so Brian grasped his hand with a hopeful smile, praying that this was the end of the months of longing.
He slowed his breathing down and squeezed the hand he was holding.
“Roger?”
—————
Brian awoke to blonde hair in his mouth. He huffed and spat it out, moving his head away from the hair in his view. Despite trying not to move too much, Roger immediately rolled over groaning, and Brian winced slightly at having woke his boyfriend. Instead of leaving him to sleep though, he moved over and tucked his hand around the younger man’s waist, pulling him to his chest so he could bury his face in his neck.
“Mornin’” Roger yawned, snuggling back in Brian’s arms.
“Good morning,” Brian replied, half muffled by Roger’s neck.
“You’re so beautiful,” Brian mumbled, earning a small kiss to the side of his head.
“You’re not too bad yourself.”
Brian giggled and pressed a kiss to Roger’s neck before the blonde rolled over so that they were facing each other. He idly traces his fingers over Brian’s chest as the older man ran a hand through his long hair.
“I was thinking of getting a hair cut,” Roger announced, causing Brian to pause his movements and gasp dramatically.
“But your hair is so long and pretty,” Brian replied, gently running his fingers back along Roger’s hair to massage his head.
“I know. That’s my point. I think I want to go for a new look.”
Blue eyes rose to meet his, and Brian found himself grinning at the sight. Roger was so adorable at this time of day; freshly awake and sleepy, soft and warm and cuddly. He just wanted to wrap him up in his arms and hold him forever.
“Whatever you want my love. I think a new change might be nice.”
A warm pair of lips met his and he smiled, pressing his own lips against Roger.
They pulled apart and Roger tucked his face into the crook of Brian’s neck.
“I couldn’t ever imagine a life without you,” Brian murmured, pressing a wet kiss behind Roger’s ear, whilst his hand soothed up and down Roger’s back. “You mean too much to me,”
“Me neither. Would be incredibly boring for me y’know, a life without me.”
There was a pause before Brian playfully pushed him on the arm.
“You’re a dick you know that?” Brian laughed, hearing Roger chuckle next to him.
If Brian could relive one single moment forever, it would’ve been that one. Both of them, cuddling and exchanging kisses with no other purpose but to express their love for each other. It made him feel incredibly loved, and incredibly in love with Roger.
He wished it could last forever.
—————
“Roger squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”
After receiving nothing, Brian’s frustration tried to get the better of him, and he desperately looked to the doctor at the foot of the bed.
“He may not have that much movement left after been immobile for so long. Just bare with him because it might take some time,” the doctor replied with a small smile, and Brian only nodded and sighed. He moved his attention back to Roger, seeing that his eyes were still open and watching him.
“Try again Rog. Let me know you’re here.”
Brian waited and waited.
And nothing. He could feel the tears start to well up, and he sniffed slightly, his grip never wavering on Roger’s limp hand.
A while passed, and Brian thought that maybe he should think about what the doctor said.
‘Just because he’s got his eyes open, doesn’t mean he is awake.’
Brian glanced at the clock to see that two hours had gone by since Roger had first opened his eyes, and no one still had any answers as to what was happening or what was going to happen next.
He could feel sleep trying to drag him under but he refused. He needed to be here for Roger.
He felt a finger twitch and press against his hand, and the guitarist beamed.
“That’s it Rog. I knew you could do it.”
Tears came to his eyes and he no longer kept them in. They flooded his face and he hunched over slightly, tracing his other hand along the blonde’s jawline.
“I love you so much,” Brian whispered, happiness filling him from head to toe. He hadn’t felt anything but grief and loneliness. And now having an actual emotion flow through him was making him bubble with excitement, hoping that this was the next step to getting better.
When Roger’s hand twitched agin, slightly curling around his boyfriend’s fingers, that was all it too for Brian to know that Roger loved him back.
—————
“Rog you do realise we’ve got to leave the bed at some point?”
Roger groaned and rolled over, burying his head in the pillow and blatantly ignoring Brian’s request to get up.
Brian sighed. “Rog.”
“I’m coming,” Roger mumbled as he pushed himself up with a huff, causing Brian to laugh lightly.
“What time is it?” Roger asked as he stood up and yawned.
Brian stood behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, burying his face in blonde hair.
“10,”Brian murmured, pressing a kiss to Roger’s temple.
“Shit.”
“What’s the matter?” Brian asked, pulling away so he could see Roger’s face.
“I’ve got to meet Freddie in half an hour to look at new costumes for the shows,” Roger replied, desperately trying to wriggle free from Brian’s hold.
“Can’t we just stand and cuddle for a bit longer?”
“You’re the one that got me out of bed in the bloody first place. So no. You got me out of bed against my own will, so now you don’t get a cuddle,” Roger laughed, finally getting free of Brian’s grasp to press a kiss to his nose.
“I’m going to get ready and then I’ll leave,” Roger told him, already making his way into the bathroom.
Brian hummed in acknowledgement before moving into the kitchen to make some tea for the two of them.
When Roger came into the room, freshly washed and hair still slightly wet, Brian had made the tea and was sat at the table with a newspaper, idly reading the news to give himself something to do.
He looked up at Roger and smiled softly as the blonde sped to the counter before downing his tea, despite it being still quite hot.
He then had a milky kiss on his cheek and a cute smile before Roger was leaving, promising to be back within an hour.
But promises could be broken.
—————
“Rog try moving your head. See if you can look at me.”
Roger’s face scrunched up in concentration before he was eventually able to move his stiff neck to look over at Brian. He could feel a smile twitching at his lips and he thanked everything that at least he had got his facial muscles under control for the most part. Seeing Brian react so positively whenever he could do so much as smile was the best part of his day.
“Well done Rog. You’re getting there; just be patient.”
Roger sent a glare to Brian, and although it made Brian sigh, he had missed how Roger would send him evils when he didn’t like or didn’t agree with something. It was one of the many things that made up Roger, and having missed him for five months had taken its toll on Brian. But now that Roger was awake, Brian could start to see his boyfriend slowly returning. And that warmed his heart more than anything else.
—————
Brian was still reading the newspaper when the phone rang. He downed the rest of his tea that was slightly more cold than hot, and moved over to the phone.
“Hello?”
“Brian where the hell is Roger?” Freddie questioned through the phone.
Brian frowned in confusion. “What?”
“I’ve been stood here for nearly half an hour by myself, and haven’t so much as got a call to say he was going to be late. Now tell him to get his arse out of bed and meet me here now,” Freddie huffed, not letting Brian have any word in.
“Roger’s not here Freddie.”
The silence over the phone was deafening, and Brian could feel a wave of panic hit him like a brick.
“When did he leave?”
“About 25 minutes ago. I thought he was with you.” Brian’s grip on the phone was loosening as he hands began to shake. He was thinking the worst, and cursing himself for it. Roger was probably fine; he probably just stopped at the shop for a pack of cigarettes.
“I’ll look out for him. But if he doesn’t turn up in 10 minutes I’ll ring you back.” Freddie replied, and Brian could tell the older man was worried from the way his voice was shaking slightly.
“Okay. Thank you Freddie.”
And with that, he hung up. He brought his cup into the kitchen and hunched over on the counter, his hands gripped it like a vice.
He was just being overprotective. Roger was a grown man, and if anything was wrong he would’ve found a way to contact him. He needed to calm himself down.
He glanced at the car keys on the counter next to him, and contemplated going out to look for him.
The overprotective boyfriend in him took over and he grabbed the keys, picking up his coat on the way out only to stop at the front door.
The phone was ringing.
It hadn’t been ten minutes yet.
He hoped that Freddie was calling to tell him Roger had arrived and he needed to stop getting so flustered.
He picked up the phone and took a deep breath, the hope in him climbing high.
“Hello?”
“Is this Brian May?”
Brian’s heart slammed against his chest and his hope deflated immediately.
“Yeah that’s me.”
“I’m sorry to be calling you be you’re Roger Taylor’s emergency contact. Unfortunately and Taylor has been involved in a traffic accident and we would like you to come to the hospital immediately.”
Brian actually felt his lungs stop working and he was afraid that he might suffocate. He chocked out a conformation before hanging up, the tears spilling onto his face, not of his own accord. He was still hoping it wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe a broken bone or a few scratches. He would be okay.
He called Freddie immediately after, still crying but unable to take in the news all by himself.
“Freddie?”
“Brian what’s happened?”
Trust Freddie to know that something was immediately wrong. Brian would laugh but the feeling wouldn’t make itself known in the pit of despair he had been swallowed in.
“An accident… Freddie he’s in the hospital.”
Freddie was silent for a minute before he spoke up again.
“I’m going to pick you up right now and then we’ll get Deaky on the way. I’m not letting you go alone.”
Brian was grateful, and thanked Freddie before putting the phone down, resting his face in his hands as he sobbed.
—————
“Br-r”
“It’s okay Rog you’re doing great.”
Roger simply shook his head and bent forwards, shaking slightly. With a closer look, Brian could see small tears running down his face in frustration.
After getting some movement in his upper body, they had congratulated the day with some good food that Brian had brought in from outside the hospital, and Roger’s spirits had been high for a few days.
Then the speech therapist came in.
Roger struggled to make even a word due to his vocal chords not being used in so long. And finding out he couldn’t talk like he wanted to, it had made Roger’s spirits plummet.
Brian stood and sat on the bed next to Roger, taking him into his arms as he cried. He stroked a hand through his blonde hair and held him close.
“It’s okay Rog. It’s going to take time. But I promise you you’ll get there.”
Roger looked up at him slowly, big blue eyes looking at Brian sadly.
Brian thumbed away the tears under his eyes and kissed the tip of his nose.
“Why don’t we try something a bit easier? Try and say your name.”
Roger nodded and sat up straight out of Brian’s hold, instead clumsily grasping at his lover’s hand.
“R-o… Ro…Rog,” Roger said, his eyes darting up to Brian when he had finished.
“That’s it. You said Rog,” Brian exclaimed, pulling Roger into a gentle hug happily. “My love I told you you can do it.”
Roger simply nodded, burying his face against the warmth of Brian’s chest.
—————
“Family of Roger Taylor.”
They had been sat in the waiting room for over two hours without a single word from any of the doctors other than ‘he was involved in a car accident’ and ‘he’s in surgery’. Brian had been nothing but a panicking mess, and he was immensely grateful for Freddie and John for coming with him. He didn’t know what he would be like if he didn’t have the support.
So when they were finally called, Brian was nervous. He was unsure of what to expect.
They were led down a corridor by a doctor, until they were in the ICU. That alone made Brian’s stomach churn and he grasped Freddie’s arm to stop himself from stumbling.
The doctor turned to them with a solemn expression and Brian thought he might throw up.
“As you know Mr Taylor was involved in a serious car accident. He has fractured a few ribs, and his liver had a tear in it which we got to quickly and we’re able to stop the bleeding.”
The doctor stopped talking, letting the information settle in their minds before continuing, his face becoming even sadder.
“Unfortunately, he received a traumatic head injury that has cause some injury to his brain. We are unsure how much damage has been done, and can’t really tell how it will affect him until he wakes up. However, he has slipped into a coma, and so we won’t know yet.”
Silence settled between them before John spoke up.
“How long will he be in the coma for?”
“It could be a few day, weeks or even months. There’s no way to tell.”
Brian’s grip on Freddie’s arm tightened and he doubled over. This was too much too soon. He had spoken to Roger three hours ago. He was fine. He was supposed to be shopping with Freddie.
He was supposed to be fine. He promised he would only be gone an hour.
—————
“Darling we were here yesterday.”
Roger’s face scrunched in confusion. He was sure he hadn’t seen Freddie and John in days. Maybe even a week.
He remembered yesterday. He and Brian had made fun of the cafeteria food and the fact the nurse was scolding Brian for letting him drink coffee.
Freddie and John were not there.
Roger shook his head and looked over at Brian with wide eyes. Brian’s face was set in a frown.
“This isn’t the first time this has happened Rog,” he said, gently placing a hand on Roger’s.
Roger just glanced at Brian with a questioning look.
“I’m going to get the doctor.”
Roger watched as Brian left, and the room fell into silence before Freddie and John sat in the seats beside the bed and brought them forwards.
“So how are you?” Freddie asked, his brown eyes wide with only what Roger would call sympathy, and he hated it.
Roger rolled his eyes and shrugged the best he could, earning a chuckle from the two others.
He then nodded his head in Freddie’s direction, retuning the question. Roger was still trying the train his vocal chords to work and could only form certain words with a lot of struggle. He found it a lot easier for now to just gesture.
“Oh I’m fine dear. In fact, I have a knew man in my life.”
Roger lifted an eyebrow.
“His name’s Jim and he’s wonderful. When you’re out the hospital, I’ll bring him to meet you,” Freddie beamed. Roger smiled back and nodded.
He then turned his attention to John and nodded his head in his direction.
“I’m fine too. Nothing much has happened, and especially nothing that interesting other than I haven’t slept in a week because the baby won’t stop crying.”
They all chuckled before the laughter died when Brian came back in the room with a doctor in tow.
“So Brian tells me you’re having memory issues,” the doctor announced.
Roger looked between Brian and the doctor before hesitantly nodding.
“Brian has kept a record of all the times you have forgot something, and from the looks of it your are suffering with short-term memory loss. I’m going to send you in for another CT scan to see if we can pinpoint the area that has been affected the most.”
Roger merely nodded, trying to get his head around this new information. He didn’t know quite how to take it, and so instead of engaging, sat in silence, mulling over the conversation.
—————
Brian was the first to walk into the room. Roger was lay on the bed, wires surrounding him like a jungle, blood still splattered in blonde hair.
Brian sat in the chair next to the bed and brought it closer, taking Roger’s limp hand in his own.
He looked over Roger’s face, looking at how the cuts and grazes had been covered or bandaged. There was a nasal cannula hooked under his nose, and the light blue of the hospital gown and the bright lights caused his skin to look ashen and sickly.
Brian kisses Roger’s hand softly before tracing his bruised jaw with his other hand.
He hoped Roger woke up soon.
—————
When Roger had finished changing, aided by both the nurse and Brian, the nurse got out a brush ready to brush his hair when Brian stopped her.
“That’s okay. I’ll do it.”
She passed over the brush with a small smile before leaving them alone.
“Can I sit up there with you?” Brian asked the blonde.
Roger sat forward slightly, and Brian climbed into the bed so that Roger’s upper body was supported by his own.
Brian ran the brush through the long hair. He could remember the day of the accident; when Roger told him he wanted his hair cut.
He wanted to ask if he still wanted that. The change would definitely be good.
“Do you still want to get your hair cut?” Brian murmured, the brush getting rid of the knots and tangles that had formed in his hair.
Roger was quiet before he replied.
“Y-y-yeah. C-cut it-t,” he said quietly, still quite ashamed that he hadn’t got his talking back all the way yet. Brian had told him thousands of times that there was nothing to be ashamed or worried about. It would come back in it’s own time.
“I think that would be nice. When you get out of the hospital, I’ll take you straight to the hairdressers.”
Roger chuckled and moved his face so Brian could lightly peck his lips. Brian sat back and looked at Roger’s face. All his cuts and bruises had faded in the months he was in a coma, only a scar on his hairline still there, but it was only visible if someone pointed it out.
“I’m so happy to have you back Rog. I missed you so much.”
Roger leant back into Brian’s arm and pressed a small kiss to his arm.
Even though nothing was perfect, or even good if Roger was the one to judge, it was a lot better than the hell everyone had been through in the past five months.
And Brian had missed Roger so much, he was definitely glad to have him back.
Sure it will take time to have his talking and mobility back where it used to be, and he may never gain back the whole of his short term memory. But at least he was awake. And alive. And he was there to love and be loved
And that’s all he could ask for.