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Tendou adjusted his backpack on his shoulder, letting his eyes travel over every flyer requesting roommates. At least his situation wasn’t uncommon at this point in the semester; there were plenty of options posted all over the bulletin board. It was hard to remain positive, however, when his last situation was so miserable.
He knew he wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, but his roommate the university paired him with ended up being a complete asshole. From the moment Tendou stepped into their shared room, the guy refused to get along with him for whatever reason. He was selfish when it came to playing his music loud, creating messes, and sneaking his girlfriend into their room at odd times of the night.
The loneliness it created was reminiscent of Tendou’s past before he had any friends. At least he had been able to make some friends in his classes, but nobody as close to him as his teammates from Shiratorizawa. He genuinely felt like he had touched heaven, only to descend back into hell where he apparently belonged.
Tendou shook his head and filled his lungs with cleansing air. He needed to think more positively and immediately decided to text his old friends to see if they had time to meet up that weekend. Seeing their faces again would definitely make his present more bearable. Maybe they’d even know someone looking for a roommate, someone who wasn’t a complete jackass.
An arm reached over his shoulder suddenly, startling him, and planted a hand against the bulletin board, long, lovely fingers stretching over a pink flyer.
“Tendou Satori,” a deep voice murmured in his ear and Tendou yelped as he spun around and slammed his back against the bulletin board. Matsukawa Issei smirked as he leaned toward him, his hand sliding up the board until it was just above Tendou’s head.
“Matsukawa-kun!” Tendou squeaked out with a nervous laugh. “Fancy seeing you here. You don’t go here, do you?”
“No, but Hanamaki does. I was just dropping him off.”
“Oh… I see.”
Matsukawa’s eyes were dark beneath his heavy lids, staring back at Tendou in a way that he couldn’t read. Which was saying something because Tendou could almost always tell what people were thinking. Perhaps he could read Matsukawa’s thoughts if he tried harder. Maybe he was terrified of what he would discover.
He flinched when Matsukawa’s eyes flickered to the flyer beneath his hand and immediately darted back to Tendou. “Looking for someplace to live?”
“Yes, actually.”
“Why?”
“Roommate’s an asshole.”
Matsukawa huffed out a laugh. “That’s a good reason to move out. This really must be fate.”
“Pardon?”
“Well, Hanamaki met his soulmate and moved in with her when he was living with me. We just moved his stuff out of the apartment and now I’m all by myself,” he finished, sticking his bottom lip out into a pout.
“Well, that’s too bad! Good luck finding someone. If you'll excuse me,” Tendou said as he patted Matsukawa’s shoulder and slipped away. He held on to his shoulder strap and weaved through the crowded hallway, his breaths coming quick as his chest began to ache. His feet didn’t stop until he was just outside the doors and standing out in the blinding sunshine. He froze, his mind of a torrent of conflicting thoughts.
What am I doing? I should go back and talk to him. Why would he want to talk to me? I could make everything worse. I should leave. I have nowhere to go…
The last thought stung him deeply. One of his closest classmates was letting him keep some of his stuff in his room, all his stuff already moved out of the dorm he shared with Dickhead, but he had no room for Tendou himself. The sudden rush of fear and loneliness was debilitating, keeping him from moving forward or back. His fingers tightened on his backpack strap as he stared down at the ground, hot tears threatening to flood his eyes.
“Hey,” Matsukawa’s voice whispered in his ear and Tendou gasped as he was pulled into a tight hug. Those beautiful fingers he always admired stroked into his hair as Matsukawa shushed him. He closed his eyes, his body stiff and defensive.
Then he inhaled, breathing in the familiar scent of Matsukawa’s shampoo from his silky black hair, a scent he knew only from his dreams. With that Tendou finally began to relax, melting in Matsukawa’s embrace. The arms around him tightened and Tendou shuddered, feeling like he was finally home after all his years of being alone.
“I’m here, Satori… I’m not going anywhere.”
“Seriously?” he choked out and he felt Matsukawa shift his head until his breath ghosted across Tendou’s face.
“Yes.” Lips pressed against his temple and Tendou squeezed his eyes tight, unable to hold back the escaping tears any longer. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I didn’t know before. I should have known, it was just… hard.”
“It’s okay. I’m relieved that you finally figured it out. I thought… a part of me wondered if you knew and just didn’t want me.”
“Shit,” Matsukawa hissed. His hands enveloped Tendou’s face, lifting it up so he had no choice but to look back at him. “Don’t ever believe that. You’re my soulmate, Satori, and I will never not want you. Understand?”
Tendou hiccupped through his tears, unable to answer. But Matsukawa was patient, giving him his undivided attention and ignoring the way people looked at them funny as they passed by.
“It’s hard to believe since you never liked me before.”
Matsukawa sighed and released Tendou’s face. He let his hands slip all the way down his arms until he came to Tendou’s hands. There he threaded their fingers together, so naturally that it felt like he’d been doing it for years.
“Where’s your stuff?”
“Um, that dorm over there. My friend’s keeping all of it for me.”
“Let’s go get it.”
“I have class in a bit.”
“Can you skip it?”
Tendou thought about it for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah, I can skip it.”
Matsukawa smiled and released one of his hands as he turned, squeezing the one he kept hold of. “Come on.”
They were quiet as they wandered through the campus, allowing Tendou to calm down and wipe his soggy face on his sleeve. Matsukawa kept his gaze ahead but continuously ran his thumb in circles over Tendou’s palm. It was mesmerizing, luring him into a state of comfort with the familiar sensation. Tendou didn’t have many dreams before he figured out that Matsukawa was his soulmate, but the ones he did almost always had them holding hands with a thumb massaging his palm. Tendou wondered if Matsukawa saw the same thing in his dream and he was going along with it. Maybe it was just his thing.
“I never disliked you, Satori, but I’m not going to lie, you did irritate me,” Matsukawa laughed as he glanced at Tendou. “Our only interaction was on the court, and you love to piss people off during volleyball.”
“Ah, I guess that makes sense.”
“That one time when you asked me to have tea with you… did you know then that we were soulmates?”
“Yeah, I was hoping that you would figure it out if we spent time together. Guess not.”
“I’m sorry, I was in a bit of a hurry at the time. That and I was certain you were just trying to make fun of me.”
“Why would I make fun of you? You’re—” Tendou clamped his mouth shut and didn’t utter another word.
“I’m what?” Matsukawa asked, smirking like he already knew.
“You know! Cool, handsome, whatever!”
“Oh? You think I’m handsome?” he leered, pulling Tendou a little closer.
“Shut up, you know you are.”
“Not really. Anyway, I don’t know what your soulmate dreams were like, but I couldn’t figure anything out. Satori, you and I… we get into some crazy shit later. I mean, I know that it’s fun, but in my dreams we’re always moving and everything’s a blur. I swear all I could hear was happy screaming and laughing and colors and jungles—”
“Wait, jungles?”
“Yeah, I have no idea. But I always knew you were there with me, holding my hand. It was only a couple of weeks ago that I finally had one where I could see you.” They finally arrived at the door and Matsukawa opened it, gesturing with his head for Tendou to go first. He smiled fondly at him as he shuffled through, his eyes shifting up to his hair. “You know, eventually you grow your hair out a bit and tie it back. It looks good.”
“It-it does?”
“Yeah… brings out your cute features.”
“What? I don’t have any cute features.”
“Who told you that?”
“Nobody, but nobody’s ever told me that I did.”
“I am, right now.”
“Are you sure you’re not just feeling that way because I’m your soulmate?”
“Nah, I always thought you had something cute. It’s just that damn mouth of yours, but luckily you use it a little better in the future.”
Tendou’s face grew hot and he certain it was as red as his hair. He sputtered a little, trying to say something, but every little sound he made caused Matsukawa to smirk wider. Finally, he clamped his mouth shut and faced forward, ignoring the chuckles next to him.
“I hope you like our place, it’s between our two campuses.”
“That’s convenient.”
“Yeah, by the way, do you have a futon?”
“I do, actually.”
“Good, I just have one that’s a little small for the two of us. Maybe we can push them together.”
“We’ll be sharing a room?!”
“Yeah,” Matsukawa said with a shrug. “Hanamaki and I were sharing it before; cheaper to have a one-bedroom apartment.”
“O-Oh, ok. Um, this is my friend’s place.”
Tendou knocked against the door and bounced on his toes, wishing his heart would calm down.
“Hey,” Matsukawa murmured, his soft voice already having a calming effect on his pulse. “Just because we’re sharing a room doesn’t mean we have to do anything before you’re ready. You can have as much privacy as you like, we’ll go at whatever pace you like. We’re in this together, Satori. You’re my other half,” he said, smiling as he lifted Tendou’s hand and kissed the back of it.
He wanted to sob, curl up in a ball and weep for an entire month. He was exhausted from holding everything in, and Matsukawa had swept in like an unseen tidal wave, layering on affection that he wasn’t used to. It was too much to experience all at once and he was terrified that he was going to wake up at any moment and find that it was all a dream, one that didn’t predict the future.
His friend opened the door, giving his emotions a respite. After a quick introduction, they busied themselves around the room, gathering up all of Tendou’s possessions. While he checked over his extra school bag that had most of his textbooks, Matsukawa’s fingers brushed across his back.
“Hey, I’m going to call a cab.”
“Huh? Why?”
“So we don’t have to lug all of this on the train. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it,” he said gently and walked back out into the hallway, slipping his phone out of his pocket. Tendou watched him as he placed the call, side-stepping whenever someone walked by. It seemed like forever since Tendou had seen him last, and back then he couldn’t stare openly as he could now.
Matsukawa’s voice was like velvet, calm and polite as he spoke to the cab company. His eyes shifted to Tendou’s direction and he smiled when he saw him watching. Tendou flinched and turned back to his bag, but a soothing warmth was beginning to seep into his chest. It was finally sinking in that they were finally together, and he was completely accepted.
As he zipped up his bag, he could see Matsukawa coming back into the room in his peripheral vision. He bit his lip and tried to occupy himself with a few items he hadn’t been able to fit while Matsukawa knelt beside him. A hand rubbed against his back and warm breath tickled his ear, causing a shiver to run down his spine.
“It’ll be here soon. You ready to take stuff down?”
“Y-Yeah, here, can you take this?”
“Of course.”
Matsukawa made a point of brushing their fingers together when he took the bag strap and Tendou was worried he was going to contract a heart problem if he did it again. He couldn’t be sure if Matsukawa was doing it on purpose, the teasing aspect of the little touches. Regardless, if he was actually trying to murder him or if he was doing it absentmindedly, Tendou had a feeling that it wasn’t going to stop. He would have to get used to it quickly or else he was doomed.
Between the two of them and his friend, they were able to carry everything down in one trip and load all of it in the trunk of the cab. Tendou was thankful he decided not to bring a lot with him to college; he was already nervous about intruding on Matsukawa’s space. But as they sat in silence in the cab, he peeked over at his soulmate to find him smiling and humming softly.
“Jungles? Really?” he finally asked, eager for a little conversation.
Matsukawa chuckled. “One dream, at least, had a jungle, although it was difficult to tell as I said. I think we were ziplining.”
“Cool! I’ve always wanted to do that.”
“Me too.”
“Really? Anything else that you want to do?”
Matsukawa pursed his lips, his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. Tendou blinked at the sudden change in his demeanor and realized that even his cool, smooth-talking soulmate could get a little shy. He giggled before he could stop himself and shifted on the seat to give Matsukawa his full attention.
“Ah, Matsukawa-kun! I never realized you could get so cute!”
“Shut up, I’m not cute.”
“Yes, you are! Why are you so shy, talking about your dreams?”
“It’s because I’ve rarely talked about them, even with my best friends. I just figured they’d make fun of me for it.”
“But I’m your soulmate!”
“And you won’t make fun of me?” Matsukawa asked, arching an eyebrow at him. Tendou paused to admire it for a moment before shaking his head.
“I might tease you a little, but it’ll only be out of love. Besides, if you’re going to have lofty dreams, I’d like to be a part of them a little bit at least.”
“I wouldn’t say they’re lofty, but I would definitely prefer you to be involved.” Matsukawa squeezed his hand, his smile soft and inviting. Tendou couldn’t help staring at his lips, wondering when he would get the chance to kiss them. “I want to travel. Not just all over Japan but the entire world. There’s just so much to see and be a part of, I want to soak up as much of it as I can before I get old and can’t walk anymore.”
Tendou snickered and looked him over. “I think with as athletic as you are, you would be ancient before you weren’t able to walk anymore.”
“Thank you. You know, I like it when you check me out like that.”
“What?! No, that’s not what I was doing.”
“Sure.”
“Anyway, I think traveling sounds amazing. I’m a business major currently, but I’m taking a lot of photography classes.”
“Seriously? Do you have a camera?”
“I do! I finally saved enough for it but I haven’t even had the chance to use it like I want to.”
“Why don’t you switch majors?”
“It’s hard finding jobs like that.”
“Satori, I’m a journalism major. If I’m going to be traveling the world on an assignment, wouldn’t it be better to bring along my soulmate who’s a professional photographer rather than my businessman soulmate? I mean, you’d look, um, really tasty in a suit, I’m not going to lie. But it’s hardly fitting for trekking up mountains and through jungles.”
“Yeah… I guess that makes sense. I would prefer focusing on photography if you think— did you just say I’d look tasty?”
Matsukawa smirked and leaned toward him, his eyes shamelessly traveling down Tendou’s body. “Mm, yeah. You’re tall, lean, just the right amount of muscle. Don’t worry; even if you go into photography, we’ll get you a suit for us to play around with.”
Tendou felt like his entire body had been set on fire. His mouth hung open as he tried to formulate any coherent words, but speech was entirely lost to him which seemed to amuse Matsukawa even more.
“Aw, look who’s getting all cute now. I’m looking forward to finally having you all to myself. What’s wrong, Satori? Is it too warm in here?” Matsukawa leered as he leaned closer. Tendou’s heart pounded against his chest and he could feel his sweat glands activating all over his body.
“Stop, are you seriously trying to kill me?”
Matsukawa chuckled and made no effort to move away. “That’s definitely not my intention.”
“Well, you should be mindful of your effect on my sanity.”
“Oh? How am I affecting you?”
“I’d appreciate it if neither of you affects the other in my cab, please,” their driver requested, sparing them a worried glance in his rearview mirror.
“Sorry,” Matsukawa snickered and finally straightened up, looking extremely pleased with himself. If Tendou hadn’t had several dreams showing him living and breathing in the far distant future, he wouldn’t have believed he could survive one night with someone as devastating as Matsukawa Issei.
“Here we are,” the driver sighed, pulling up in front of an apartment complex. As Matsukawa paid him the fare, Tendou slipped out of the car and stared up at it. He smiled as fragments of dreams slipped into his mind, images of him draped over Matsukawa’s back as they walked home at night because he was too drunk to walk on his own. He remembers giggling and biting at his ear, causing him to nearly stumble. His favorite part was when Matsukawa whipped his hand back to smack Tendou on the ass.
“Everything alright?” Matsukawa asked, coming up beside him.
“Yes! Sorry, it’s just weird because I recognize it from one of my dreams. A couple, in fact.”
“Yeah? See some good stuff?”
“You smack my ass.”
“Nice, I’m looking forward to it. Think we can handle this on our own?”
Tendou ignored the first comment and glanced around at the pile of his stuff on the sidewalk. “Sure! I bet I can carry more stuff than you can, Matsukawa-kun!” he chirped as he began draping bag straps over his shoulders. He froze as Matsukawa suddenly stepped toward him, slipping his fingers underneath Tendou’s chin.
“You can call me, Issei,” he purred and for a moment Tendou thought he might lean in and kiss him. Matsukawa’s eyes did drop to his lips, but he merely smiled as he leaned forward and snatched one of his bags from the ground.
Tendou remained frozen as he tried to breathe again. Matsukawa’s smirk grew as he ended up with more bags than Tendou and had the audacity to wink at him before shuffling into the building. He was definitely trying to kill Tendou.
The apartment was small, but with Matsukawa’s furnishings, it felt warm and comfortable. It seemed a little sparse but Tendou assumed that was due to Hanamaki removing his own things earlier that day.
“Go ahead and put your stuff anywhere. I can even move some things if you need me to.”
“That won’t be necessary. I’ll try not to be in your way.”
Tendou moved further into the apartment and began unloading his bags. He bit his lip, looking around for the best place to stick each of them when he noticed Matsukawa staring at him.
“What is it?”
“What’s with this I’ll try not to be in your way business? This is just as much your home as it is mine now.” Matsukawa walked closer and helped slip his bags off his shoulders. Tendou sighed as the weight lifted off his body but Matsukawa didn’t move away. Instead, he rubbed his hands into Tendou’s shoulders, kneading away the stress and exhaustion. “I’ll admit that I don’t know you very well, Satori, but this meek kind of attitude isn’t like you. Please be yourself around me. I want to know you as soon as possible.”
“I want to know you, too… I’ve always been curious,” Tendou replied, still unable to shake the bout of shyness that plagued him.
Matsukawa smiled and cupped Tendou’s cheeks. “What would you like to know? I’ll tell you anything. What would you like to do? I’ll do anything if it won’t get me arrested. Was there something you wanted to eat? I could make—order whatever you want, and have it delivered.”
“Stop!” Tendou laughed as fresh tears welled in the corners of his eyes. “You’re going to spoil me.”
“Good, you deserve to be spoiled. Although, I do hope you spoil me back. I can be a little needy sometimes.”
Tendou stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Matsukawa, pulling him into a tight hug. “I do want to spoil you, spoil you rotten.” He sighed as he buried his face into Matsukawa’s shoulders, enjoying the warmth enveloping him as Matsukawa tightened his grip around him. “I still can’t believe this is real.”
“You’ll get used to it. For now, get used to living here with me and we’ll get to know each other better.”
“Hmm, okay. Damn it, you smell good.”
“Thank you,” Matsukawa chuckled. “I’m glad you’re being honest.”
“You asked for it. I can’t wait until you start carrying me around.”
“Is… is that something I’ll do?”
Tendou bit back a snicker. Truthfully there were only one or two dreams of Matsukawa doing it, but he didn’t have to know all the details.
“Yup! I just love it when you use your big strong muscles and pick me up,” he cooed, running a finger across Matsukawa’s chest.
“Well, when you put it like that...”
Matsukawa squatted down and hooked his arms behind Tendou’s thighs. Tendou was about to ask what he was doing but yelped instead when he was hoisted into the air.
“Ah! What are you doing?!”
“You asked for it!” Matsukawa laughed and carried him around his luggage and toward the sofa. When they reached it, he set Tendou down gently on the sofa cushion and drew back just enough to smirk in his face. “Was it everything you dreamed it would be?”
Tendou twisted his lips, trying his best not to smile back but it didn’t seem to be working at all. “The strength is obviously there, but the technique was all wrong. Better luck next time, Matsu— um, Issei.”
“I guess I’ll need to practice then. Would you like some tea?”
“Yeah, I’d like some.”
“Alright, you relax here, and I’ll go make some.”
“Wait,” Tendou said suddenly, reaching up to grab Matsukawa’s shirt. He had no idea why his instincts had taken over at that moment, but there was something he wanted… something he needed to really believe that all this was happening.
“What is it?”
“Can you kiss me?”
Matsukawa blinked, surprised by the request. His shock was gone in a flash as he smiled reassuringly. “Of course, I can, but are you ready for that?”
“It doesn’t have to be a big one! I mean, I want those big nasty kisses when we’re ready,” he giggled nervously, knowing his face was probably as bright as his hair. “But for now, it can be something small. I just want to feel it… if that’s okay.”
Matsukawa’s smile was warm and tender as he stared down at Tendou. Slowly he leaned forward, bracing his hands against the sofa. Tendou gulped but didn’t look away, mesmerized by Matsukawa’s dark eyes coming closer and boring into his own.
For so long he craved to have those eyes on him, but he was always forced to watch Matsukawa from afar. Now he was here, his breath ghosting across Tendou’s face and his hand caressing his cheek.
“Satori, close your eyes and take a deep breath.”
Tendou bobbed his head up and down before squeezing his eyes shut. He inhaled deeply, wishing he could calm down, but the anticipation was killing him. As warm lips pressed against his, he gasped and stayed as still as possible. The kiss lasted only a few seconds, a delicate touch and then Matsukawa pulled away.
The loss caused Tendou to whine mournfully before he could stop it, but at least he was treated to one of Matsukawa’s deep chuckles.
“Not enough?”
“No,” Tendou responded with a pout. Without opening his eyes, he tipped his lips up to grant Matsukawa full access in case he decided to kiss him again. He decided that Fate truly did love him after all when his lips were covered once again.
He smiled into it and hummed cheerfully. It began as chaste as the last one but after a moment, Matsukawa opened his lips a little wider to test the waters. Tendou could feel the defensive walls he’d built around himself over his lifetime crumble into a fine dust.
He spread his lips wider and pressed deeper into the kiss. His fingers gripped into the front of Matsukawa’s shirt and he could feel the heat from his body through the thin material. His body shuddered with excitement when he realized that one day, he would see Matsukawa without his shirt on. Perhaps even touch him.
That thought had Tendou pulling back, panting to catch his breath. Matsukawa pouted a little at having the kiss broken but he couldn’t hide the smile from his eyes.
“How was it? Was it okay?”
“It was perfect,” Tendou said breathlessly and licked his lips. “But any more and I think I’ll get too excited. Maybe it’s a good time for a cup of tea.”
Matsukawa laughed softly and leaned forward to brush his lips across Tendou’s forehead. “Your wish is my command.”
“Oh? I’ll hold you to that, Issei-kun.”
Matsukawa leaned back and shook his head. “That probably shouldn’t make me so excited. Sit tight, I’ll be right back.”
Tendou watched as Matsukawa slipped over to their little kitchen and began preparing some tea. He pursed his lips and brought his socked feet onto the sofa cushion, so he could hug his arms around his legs. Propping his chin on his knees, he couldn’t take his eyes off Matsukawa’s broad back.
Tendou had always felt like a lost puzzle piece, trying to be jammed in every scenario of his life and never fitting the way he should. The first time he experienced a nearly perfect fit was with his volleyball team at Shiratorizawa. But now… now he had finally found the puzzle he belonged in.
He didn’t have many dreams before he figured out his soulmate was Matsukawa, but he recalled that several of them took place in that apartment, even when they were older.
Apparently, we never move out, Tendou thought with a smile. The only dream he had where they weren’t at the apartment was when he opened his eyes and found himself on an airplane.
It made more sense now, knowing that together they would travel to exotic places. At the time, he couldn’t read his future self’s thoughts, but he didn’t seem nervous or excited. He was calm, smiling softly as he stared out of the airplane window and gazing at the masses of clouds that looked like mountains in some kind of fantasy realm. The dream didn’t show him anything else, but he could feel a head resting against his shoulder as Tendou’s arm was draped over someone’s back. At one point, Tendou tilted his head to rest on soft, thick hair, his eyes growing heavy as soft snores lulled him to sleep.