Work Text:
Suga—
“I honestly didn’t even know it was possible to make so many puns out of chemical formulas,” Daichi groaned, dropping his forehead to the lunch table. “It’s his way of flirting, I guess, but I prefer it when he’s outright sexual.”
Asahi choked on his drink and set it down before he spilled any more than what dribbled down his chin. “Luckily, Yukie doesn’t joke as much over text. I think she knows I wouldn’t get it unless it’s in person.”
Suga giggled and elbowed his friend in the ribs. “So, what do you talk about?”
Asahi winced and looked away from them. Even Daichi raised his head, curious at Asahi’s nervous silence. “Um, she’s been sending me pictures of braids she wants to try out on my hair. She’s going through a bit of a Viking phase.” Asahi squeezed his eyes shut as he was assaulted by his best friends’ laughter.
“I don’t blame her; you’d look so cute!” Suga cooed, reaching up to twirl a finger in one of Asahi’s tendrils. “Especially with your beard!”
“Is she going to braid flowers into it as well?” Daichi asked, his voice trembling with another laugh.
“Shut up.”
“You would let her though if she wanted to?” Suga prodded.
“... Yeah. Guys, stop laughing, seriously. She’s my soulmate and it made her so happy that she could play with my hair. And to be fair, when she braided it at training camp, it kept my hair out of my eyes all day without any use of a headband. Even Shimizu complimented it.”
“Oh man, you’re so whipped!”
“Daichi, wasn’t it you who had me take a picture of you eating because Kuroo wanted to see your cheeks all puffed out? He didn’t even ask one of us to take it in secret because he knew you’d do it for him.”
Daichi’s laughter stopped abruptly as a dark and sinister expression took over his face. “I told you never to mention that again.”
The two continued bickering over their soulmates, tossing out complaints about who had it worse while simultaneously bragging about their one true love. It was strange to see Asahi be so proud over anything, especially standing up to Daichi. Suga smiled fondly at the two but felt a twinge of jealousy about the whole thing.
Even though he was older than they were, having his first soulmate dreams months ahead of them, he had yet to meet his actual soulmate. At least he still had his dreams to keep him company, but he wanted more. He wanted the real thing beside him, to boast over and complain about. But who knew when he would finally have that opportunity?
“Suga? You alright?” Daichi asked, startling him from his pity party.
“Oh yeah! Just thinking about our exams.”
Daichi frowned, absentmindedly tapping his chopsticks against his empty bento box. “I’m sorry we get carried away about them sometimes. I’m sure you’ll meet him soon.”
“No! I don’t mind you guys talking about them! I’m glad you’re happy.”
“It’s okay to feel impatient. We want you to meet them as well. How old did you seem in your dreams?”
“It ranged all over the place really, but I don’t seem too old in most of them. Of course, I’m never looking in a mirror. Except for that one time when we went to this special hotel and we—”
“Okay, okay! That’s all we really need to know,” Daichi laughed. “Have you told your parents about him yet?”
Suga’s face fell at the reminder. “No. I’m pretty sure Mom has guessed why I’m so quiet about it. And you know my dad, spouting off about tradition and proper marriages every five seconds. My aunt really screwed me over when she ran off with that artist.”
“That guy was her soulmate, right?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t stop my dad from despising everything about their relationship.”
“I don’t understand,” Asahi interjected. “What’s so wrong with him being an artist?”
“Artists aren’t bad, but this one is basically a cheapskate who borrows money like it’s his job. He spends all of it on travel, something about finding his muse, and he drags my aunt everywhere and we never get to see her. It’s just weird.”
“Wow, it’s weird her having such a selfish soulmate.”
“It happens.”
“So, what does that have to do with your soulmate?”
“Well, mainly because he’s a man and my dad has this image in his mind of what a perfect family looks like.”
“There’s no such thing as a perfect family,” Daichi grumbled.
“Exactly. And it’s not all just about the soulmate; I would love to go to art school and continue my painting. Basically, anything I want in my future would be abhorred by my father. It’s my life and I know I’m going to love my soulmate and painting, but it’s sickening thinking about my parents not being part of it.”
Suga paused to close his eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. When he opened them, he smiled reassuringly at his friends who looked too concerned for his liking.
“Relax! I at least need to wait until after preliminaries to tell them. And then after Nationals of course, once we win everything.”
Daichi smiled and shook his head. “Yup. Once we win everything. No pressure.”
“Ugh, I feel sick,” Asahi groaned and dropped his head to the table.
“You’re such a big baby. I’m texting Shirofuku how pathetic you are.”
“No, don’t! Please, I’d never hear the end of it.”
Suga sighed as the conversation veered toward volleyball and further away from his problems. He was never one to dwell on negativity, but he knew that sooner or later, he had to face his father. It was possible that he could speak with his mother first, but he knew how open his parents’ relationship was with each other. Neither one was the secretive type and the last thing Suga wanted to do was put pressure on that.
All his anxiety seemed to float away near the end of the day when he finally made it to his free period. Because he was already in the volleyball club, he never had time to join the art club. However, one of his classmates who was in it knew how much he loved painting and invited him to help with a mural they were working on for the school festival.
At that time of day, the room was empty, just as he preferred it. He had his own section of the mural to work on, so he slipped off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves, and put some music on to work. There, alone in the art room, he could be completely himself and let his worries fade into the background.
After mixing some colors together, he spread the vibrant paint across the canvas and smiled that his father’s stern face wasn’t watching over his shoulder. The music was soft and calming, and he could enjoy it fully without hearing anyone chattering away about what their soulmate did or said. His mind did wander to his own soulmate, however, a constant source of inspiration.
The brush swirled delicately against the canvas, leaving behind a slender line that was just the beginning of something bigger. Suga paused and inspected it but saw something else entirely from what was right in front of him. Instead, he saw large hands, rough and strong gripping onto his waist and bearing all of his weight. Soft green eyes that could flash with intensity, a look that always made Suga’s heart beat faster. An embrace so strong that he felt like it could protect him from any storm or natural disaster, but gentle enough that it never brought him pain… unless he asked for it.
Suga pressed his lips together and giggled. Usually, he could paint a lot more whenever he thought of his soulmate, but his mind seemed a bit more consumed than usual. The dream he had last night wasn’t like most of the others where typically they were having sex. It was a fascinating vision of his future that made him feel more secure in himself than any insincere pep talk he could have given himself.
When he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find himself at a party. Not just any kind of party, but one of those rich, extravagant ones you only saw in the movies. Waiters wandered by with trays of champagne and hors d'oeuvres. Suga felt wildly out of place, but his older self smirked and adjusted the cufflinks on his tuxedo.
He wandered through the party, smiling and greeting people as he walked by. Everyone seemed to know who he was, and he heard excited whispers as he passed. It seemed to amuse his older self, and Suga was flabbergasted that the entire thing seemed almost second nature to him.
To be honest, older Suga seemed to be having the time of his life slipping up to different groups and gossiping about this or that. It was hard to believe that was his future but there it was, right in front of him with the filmy appearance of a soulmate dream.
Now, where was his soulmate?
Older Suga seemed to have the same idea, suddenly lifting himself on his toes and scanning the crowd with his lips in a pout. When they landed on a tall man with a broad back, he gasped and made a beeline straight for him, bypassing the crowds like a pro. When he finally made it to the man, he pressed his palm against his back and the man instinctively held his arm out. Suga took it and pressed himself into his side, tipping his head against his shoulder.
“There you are, I’ve been so bored!”
The man chuckled and pressed a kiss against the top of his head.
“Liar. You’ve been having the time of your life.”
Suga giggled and squeezed his soulmate’s arm tighter. “Fine, you caught me. It’s even better now though.”
There was an older couple that had been chatting with his soulmate before Suga had arrived, and the woman laughed and leaned toward him.
“I cannot believe you’ve been at this party all night and I haven’t seen you two dance at all.”
Suga gasped dramatically. “Come on, Toshi. We’re dancing.”
“There’s no rush. The party won’t be over for another—”
His soulmate’s words were cut off as Suga dragged the huge man over to the dance floor, the couple’s laughter echoing in the background. Suga beamed as he twirled around and cradled his soulmate close to him, nestling his cheek against his broad chest.
“Mmmm, this is more like it.”
His soulmate’s chuckle was like a rumble of thunder, reverberating from his chest into Suga’s ear. “I like this as well. I never thought I would enjoy dancing.”
“You enjoyed it quite a bit when we were in college,” Suga giggled.
“That was a club and you always gave me too much to drink.”
“I couldn’t help it! You always get so needy when you’re drunk. I love it when you’re needy.”
His soulmate tightened his grip around him and pressed a kiss against Suga’s ear. “But I always need you.”
Suga felt his cheeks warm and he buried his face into his soulmate’s chest. “Whoever said you couldn’t be charming was an idiot.”
“Ah, that would be most people.”
“All of them… idiots.”
“In their defense, I think I am only charming to you.”
“Hmm, my own prince charming,” Suga sighed as he played with his soulmate’s lapel. “You know what? I think I’m done with this party.”
“Already? Was my dancing so terrible?”
“No, I just want to drag you up to our hotel room and take off this tuxedo of yours. It’s covering up all the good bits.”
“Ah, now that you mention it, this party has become a bit dull.”
Suga laughed and stood back up on his tiptoes. His eyes closed before he could get a good look at his soulmate’s face and a moment later, his lips pressed against his soulmate’s in a warm kiss. He released the kiss with a pleased hum.
“The quicker you get me out of here, the more places I’ll put my lips tonight.”
He opened his eyes to find his soulmate narrowing his eyes down at him; soft, calming eyes of green. “How much have you had to drink?”
“Not much.”
“Liar.”
“How much have you drank?”
“Enough for this tuxedo to feel too warm. I would appreciate you taking it off me.”
“Then why are we wasting time here?”
“I have no idea. After you.”
Suga laughed and dragged his soulmate off the dance floor as younger Suga’s vision went completely white.
Suga startled when his timer went off and he groaned as he stared at his lack of progress. At least they had plenty of time before the festival to complete the mural, and he was still further ahead than a lot of the other students. He was glad he got something on the canvas though, otherwise, he had spent his entire free period daydreaming about his soulmate. No one else was around to know, but he felt guilty all the same.
The rest of the school day passed quickly, as did volleyball practice afterward. He was nervous about preliminaries but eager to have more of a role on the team than just being a back-up setter. More than ever, he felt like he was truly a vice-captain, coming up with strategies and guiding their younger teammates even though their skills were off the charts.
As he walked home after practice, he was in a content state of mind. He smiled at the sky blending into oranges, pinks, and purples as the sunset and wished he could capture every hue onto a canvas. He narrowed his eyes at it, selecting exactly which brush he would use to create the lines of wispy clouds stretching across it. If the sky had been an ice cream flavor, he was certain it would be his favorite.
Stepping into his house, all the contentment seemed to fade away. All the colors he had memorized from the sunset had dulled to the neutral tones of their traditional home. The echoing laughter from his teammates had all faded from his mind and he was left with cold silence.
It wasn’t that his family wasn’t happy. He felt loved by his parents and so far, they accepted him for who he was. But they weren’t the most ostentatious people, preferring simplicity and tradition over excitement and modernism. He hated feeling subdued around them like his parents were only seeing a shallow version of himself. But he wasn’t sure if he was ready to face their reaction when he revealed every part of himself.
“Koushi! Is that you?”
Suga sighed with a smile and slipped out of his shoes. “Yeah, Mom. It’s me.”
“Wonderful! Dinner is almost ready. I can’t believe how late you stay out nowadays with your club. You must be starving!”
“I am,” Suga laughed as he shuffled into the kitchen. His mother greeted him with a radiant smile, and she waved him in before turning back to the stove.
“Come on, I want to hear about your day. Can you set the table while we talk?”
“Sure. My day was normal as far as school goes. We’re getting ready for exams and with volleyball we’re getting ready for preliminaries for the Spring Tournament.”
“Are you sure you can handle your club activities and your exams? There’s nothing wrong with retiring at this point, most students do.”
Suga pressed his lips tight, feeling the familiar sting in his chest whenever anyone mentioned retirement. “I can handle it fine. My grades aren’t suffering at all.”
“But are you? You seem tired.”
“Volleyball is hard work, but it’s worth it.”
His mother didn’t answer for a moment and Suga continued setting plates on the table as the sting in his chest spread like icy fingers. When he had arranged everything neatly, he glanced up as she came toward him with a large, steaming pot in her hands. She set it in the center, plucked off her oven mitts and tossed them down. Once her hands were free, she placed them on each side of Suga’s face, smashing his cheeks together in a way that always made her giggle.
“Then it’s worth it. It’s your time and energy, Koushi, and if it means that much to you then you should continue it.”
His mother’s candor surprised him. He knew she was supportive of him, but to hear it when he was holding so much back was like an emotional slap in the face. His eyes grew hot and blurry with tears but there was little to see when his mother yanked him in for a hug.
“Oh, Koushi,” she soothed, running her hand through his hair. “This isn’t about volleyball or school, is it?”
“No,” he squeaked out as tears began to slip down his cheeks.
“Can’t you tell me?”
“I want to, but… I’m just not sure I can handle it right now.”
“That you can’t handle it, or your father?”
Suga sighed heavily and shook his head. “Both.”
She laughed sympathetically and kissed his head. “Whatever it is, sweetheart, just know that we both love you no matter what.”
“Are you sure? It might be pretty bad.”
“Is it drugs? Are you in a gang? Are you pregnant?”
Suga laughed and gave his mother a playful smack on the back. “Obviously not.”
“Then I don’t think you need to worry so much. Come on, your father will be in here any minute—”
“I am in here.”
Suga stiffened and quickly pulled back from his mother, wiping his face on his sleeve. It wasn’t enough to hide the fact that he had been crying from his father whose stern gaze was already on Suga as he walked toward them.
“Hi Dad,” Suga greeted enthusiastically, forcing a smile onto his face.
“Who hurt you?”
“Nobody.”
“Then why are you crying?”
“Um, stress. I have a lot going on.”
“Hmm. Well, if someone is hurting you, I want to know. You may be almost graduated, but I can still lick a few kids if they deserve it.”
“Yes, dear,” his mother replied, sharing an amused smirk with Suga before sitting down.
“Sit, Koushi. Food will help.”
Suga nodded and took a seat, slipping into their evening routine as they passed the food around the table. He had to admit that the food smelled amazing, making his mouth water as the steam hit his face. His father, however, seemed surlier than usual which was never a good sign. As stern as he could be, he rarely lost his temper, but he seemed to be nearing that peak as he grumbled under his breath.
“Did my food do something to offend you, my dear?” his mother teased softly, pursing her lips as she gauged his reaction. He glanced up from his plate, his eyebrows furrowed low as he processed what she had said. Slowly, his eyebrows relaxed, and he huffed out a laugh.
“No, I’m sorry. It has nothing to do with either of you.”
“You can talk about it though if you need to.”
“I wouldn’t want to spoil the mood.”
Suga and his mother met each other’s gaze across the table and began to snicker at the same time.
“What? What did I say?”
“Sorry, dear, but the mood isn’t exactly peaceful with you trying to maul your food and swear at it.”
His father sighed and set his chopsticks down for a moment and shrugged. “I am sorry. It’s just that I heard from Mae. She’s sick and in the hospital with some kind of flu she picked up overseas.”
“Oh no, that’s terrible.”
“Yeah. The worst part is that they can’t pay their bill. I know she wants to ask me for money, it’s just frustrating when I know that damned husband of hers could pay it if he stopped buying such frivolous things. If she saw the kind of life she’d lead in her soulmate dreams, then why didn’t she abandon it? You always have a choice no matter what the romantics say.”
“Perhaps she did make her choice and she chose to accept him as he is. To be fair, who knows what kind of life she would have led if she had chosen not to be with her soulmate?”
“Can you imagine it would be worse?!”
“It can always be worse. He is irresponsible but he isn’t cruel. Not intentionally.”
“Hmph. There’s not one respectable bone in that man’s body. I got lucky with you, my dear, but I honestly find it hard to believe that my sweet sister was meant to be with that idiot.”
“No human is perfect dear. There are things about him that she loves and for her, that’s enough.”
“Sure, enough for her to get sick and die from his negligence. Koushi, you better never treat your soulmate with such flimsy feelings.”
Suga stiffened at the mention of his soulmate. He wasn’t ready to talk about it. He wanted to wait until after Nationals and potentially graduation when he was about to drive away to college. Glancing up at his father though, he didn’t seem satisfied with silence as he watched him with an unwavering stare. With a deep breath, he quickly strung together enough words that would let him off the hook without saying too much.
“I would never treat my soulmate that way, Dad. Family… they’re meant to be treasured and cared for.”
His father raised his chin proudly and smiled. “Damn right. I knew we raised you well.”
As his father went back to his meal, Suga gazed at him a while longer, rolling the words around in his head.
Family… treasure… soulmate…
A calm sort of bravery settled over Suga and while he hadn’t been ready to tell his parents the truth a minute ago, suddenly now he was. There was still no way to tell how his father would react but at least it would be out in the open. He was tired of keeping his soulmate a secret and all the plans he had for after graduation. He wanted his parents to know who he really was.
“Dad?”
“Hm? What is it, Koushi?”
“You don’t often ask about my soulmate. Why is that?”
His father lifted his gaze from his plate. He was calm and the scowl he was wearing was completely gone. It gave Suga a little more courage when his mother put down her drink to give him her undivided attention.
“I never really asked because I didn’t want to pry,” his father explained. “I know I have many opinions on the idea, but what happens in soulmate dreams are extremely personal. I just figured you couldn’t tell us because they were, uh, private.” His father cleared his throat as he glanced down at his plate.
Suga smiled and felt his own cheeks warm at the idea. “Yeah, um… that may have had something to do with it. The truth is that I was worried you wouldn’t approve.”
“Of your soulmate? What, is she a damn artist or something?”
Suga glared at his father, the expression mirrored by his mother. When he glanced up and saw the mutual anger from his wife and son, he winced and held up his hands.
“Alright, sorry! What is she then? You can tell us.”
Suga glanced at his mother who smiled and nodded. He took a deep breath and murmured, “My soulmate is a he… not a she.”
His father stared at him in silence, his eyebrows furrowing deeper the longer nobody said anything. At last, he picked up his chopsticks and gestured for Suga to continue.
“And? Was that it?”
“Um, yes?”
“So, he’s a he. That was your dramatic reveal?”
“I thought you’d be angry!”
“Why would you think that?”
Suga covered his face with his hands and released a sound of exasperation. “Because you’re always going on and on about tradition this, tradition that! The proper family and stuff.”
“You can have that with a man. I had a cousin who had two soulmates at the same time. You can imagine how confusing it was for them,” his father laughed which he quieted immediately at seeing Suga’s shocked expression. “Koushi, I was talking about a proper family in the way that you eat together, take care of each other, and support each other.”
“How was I supposed to know that?!”
“Well, you never asked. What that fiend is doing with my sister-in-law isn’t proper one bit. Doesn’t care for her at all, it’s all one-sided.”
Suga groaned and dropped his head to the table.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“You didn’t say enough dear. Koushi has obviously been dealing with this for a long time.”
“I didn’t know.”
“Of course, you didn’t. Koushi?”
Suga lifted his head enough to prop his chin on the table. “Yeah?”
“Soulmates… it’s such a special thing to have someone who is just the right match for you. Having said that, just be prepared for them to be very stupid from time to time. Nobody’s perfect.”
“Exactly,” his father agreed as he put more food in his mouth. His mother pressed her lips tight, trying not to laugh at her husband’s obliviousness. She cleared her throat and faced Suga again, her smile growing with pride.
“I’m so happy you’re finally talking about him Koushi. Is there anything else you can tell us about him?”
“Oh, well, he’s big and strong.”
“Is he?” his mother asked breathlessly, leaning forward a bit further on the table.
Suga snorted. “Yeah. I think he’s a professional athlete in the future. We seem to be well off. My dream last night had us in tuxedos at this fancy party.”
His mother sighed and her eyes drifted away as if she was sinking into Suga’s dream herself. “That sounds lovely.”
His father hummed in agreement. “Sounds like he’s a hard worker and I respect that. Still, when you finally meet, I’ll be having a talk with him.”
“What kind of talk?”
“You know, the usual. He better look after you and protect you.”
“Dad, I can take care of myself!”
“It’s tradition,” his father explained. Slowly, a sly grin spread across his lips and he chuckled at Suga’s wide eyes and slackened jaw. His mother began laughing as well and reached across the table to grab Suga’s hand.
“Contrary to popular opinion, Koushi, your father does have a sense of humor.”
“I never would have believed it,” Suga laughed softly. “There is one more thing I have to tell you. Not about my soulmate, but about me.”
Both his parents grew serious at his change of tone, but his mother squeezed his hand reassuringly.
“Of course, dear. You can tell us anything.”
“You into drugs?”
“No, Dad.”
“Alright, what is it?”
Suga took a deep breath and lifted his chin, drawing in whatever confidence he could muster. “When I graduate and move on to college, I’m going to study painting.”
His mother mouthed a silent oh and nodded in understanding. His father, on the other hand, gaped at Suga as if he was an alien.
“You want to paint? Why?”
“Because I love it. There’s nothing else that I want to do with my life.”
“So, this isn’t just a whim? You already paint?”
“Yes. I can’t be in art club because I’m already tied up with volleyball, but sometimes I participate whenever I have time. The schools I’ve applied to have great programs and internships that are perfect for making connections.”
His father scowled, humming with displeasure. Suga watched him, waiting for the lecture or outburst that was sure to come from his decision. Even his mother didn’t seem pleased by the revelation, her lips twisting in irritation.
At last, his father sighed and waved him off. “Well, it seems you’ve thought about this thoroughly. You should take some financial courses and marketing while you’re at it, Koushi. That would benefit you in the future as an artist.”
“That’s it? I thought you would forbid me or, at the very least, argue about it.”
“Do you want me to argue with you about it?”
“No!”
“Then don’t. I can’t say I’m thrilled, but as long as you and your partner are responsible, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“And you, Mom? Are you mad at me?”
“Yes, a little bit! My son has been painting and hasn’t shown me one bit of his artwork. Honestly, that’s the sort of thing a mother likes to brag about to her coworkers and something a little more tangible than volleyball.”
“Oh, I do have pictures of some paintings on my phone, if you guys wanted to see them.”
“Bring it up!” his mother ordered. His father slipped his glasses off the top of his head and cleaned them off before setting them on his nose. Suga bit his lip as he scrolled through his photo albums until he came to one of his paintings. He winced at the quality of most of them and selected the best one of his most recent paintings.
Gulping down his nerves, he handed the phone to his mother. His father got up from his chair to hover over her shoulder.
“Mmm, that’s very good. You’ll do very well with this, Koushi.”
“It’s beautiful but I want to see the real thing. Can you bring it home? Do you need supplies to paint while you are at home? We can go shopping this weekend if you’d like.”
“We don’t have to go overboard, dear.”
“Why not? This is what he wants to do with his life. It brings him joy and one day he’ll make a living off it.”
“Hm, perhaps you’re right.”
“Koushi, when you have time, I want you to paint something for my office. Something bright and cheery.”
“Oh, um, sure. That’s usually the kind of things I paint although they can be a bit abstract.”
“Oooh, abstract… that sounds nice.”
“So, you guys are okay with this?”
His father sighed and glanced up from the phone screen. “I’m fine with it. It’s obvious that you’ve got a lot of skill and imagination, not to mention common sense. You’ll do fine. Mae’s husband can’t even draw well, I don’t know why he thought he could make a career out of it.”
“Oh, I like this one…” his mother mused, her finger scrolling through his entire album. Suga watched as the two discussed each of his paintings in hushed tones like a couple of impressed critics in an art gallery. It was strange how he had finally revealed two aspects of himself to his parents, yet he felt like they were the ones to unveil parts of their personality he didn’t even know existed.
He smiled and took a deep breath, finally allowing his stress and worries to melt away. It was going to be okay. Now that he knew his father was okay with his soulmate being a man, he had no doubt that his father would adore him. Whoever Toshi was (the only fragment of a name he had), there was no doubt that he was proper and disciplined, two characteristics that his father prized.
His mother began chattering away about the different supplies they’ll need to pick up and how much money she was willing to pay him for a commission. His father interjected, not satisfied with her color choices and was shot down immediately. Suga snickered as they began to argue over it, feeling a strange peace settle within himself.
It’s going to be okay.
Ushijima—
“You’re kind of quiet today.”
Ushijima startled at Semi’s voice and glanced up at him. He realized he had been sitting on the locker room bench for several minutes and most of the team had already changed into their volleyball gear. There was a crackling tension in the air, everyone’s energy level at full capacity for their game against Karasuno.
“I’m sorry, I’m just a little distracted.”
“That’s not like you, especially before a big game. Are you nervous?”
“About Karasuno? Not at all. We’ll beat them just as we beat Aoba Johsai.”
“That’s the spirit, Wakatoshi-kun!” Tendou joined in with his sing-song voice. “Eita does have a point though; you look a little green. Coach won’t go easy on you if you’re distracted during the game.”
“I will not let my troubles interfere with winning.”
“You want to talk about it? Maybe that’ll help,” Semi suggested.
Ushijima considered it as he stood up and peeled off his t-shirt. Perhaps he could benefit from an outsider’s perspective, or at least ease some of the guilt that had been gnawing away at his conscience.
“I think I offended Oikawa yesterday.”
Tendou snorted and then coughed to cover it up when Semi glared at him. “Don’t worry! I’m pretty sure Oikawa is offended by the very sight of you. He’s just insecure.”
“No, it’s not that. I told him that he chose the wrong path going to Aoba Johsai, and that he would have done better coming to Shiratorizawa.”
Semi winced and patted Ushijima on the shoulder. “Yeah, I can see why he would have been pissed at that.”
“Why? It was a compliment to his skill.”
“Ushijima, what you meant and what he interpreted from it are two different things. Nobody likes to be told that their life decisions are wrong. And even after losing, he probably wouldn’t think of it like that. They’re a good team with skilled players and like us, I’m sure they’ve bonded a lot over the years.”
“I see. He would have bonded with us though, had he chosen our school.”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, Wakatoshi-kun, but I don’t think Oikawa would ever be buddies with you.”
“We don’t have to be buddies. Honestly, we have two skilled setters already, it’s not like we need him on the team. I was saying it for his benefit since he was on a team that has never made it to Nationals.”
Ushijima frowned when several people laughed around him, unsure why they found what he had said so funny. Tendou, in particular, was struggling to remain on his feet as he cackled.
“You’re so savage, I love it so much!”
“It was not my intention.”
“Is that why you’re so down today?” Semi asked once he had subdued his own laughter. “Because you offended Oikawa?”
“Not exactly. I also made a girl cry last week when she asked me my opinion on a poster she was making for the festival.”
“Yeah, but that stuff happens all the time, you’re famous for it. She should have known better than to ask you if she didn’t want to receive the bluntest criticism she’s ever had.”
“Yes, I suppose… It has never concerned me before, but a few days ago I had a dream.”
“Like a normal dream or a soulmate dream?”
Ushijima slipped his jacket on over his jersey and sighed. “A soulmate one.”
“You want to tell us about it? Unless this one’s as pornographic as the others. Remember there are children present.”
“I’m not a child!” Goshiki protested and flinched when he realized he had been caught eavesdropping.
“He didn’t even mention your name, idiot,” Shirabu mumbled and began to shove Goshiki toward the door. “We’ll go warm up. You all better hurry up as well.”
Semi drew in a deep breath and released it slowly, pinching his nose as most of their underclassmen shuffled out of the locker room. “I’m going to kill that little shit one of these days.”
“Come on, Wakatoshi-kun! Give us the details.”
“Very well, but there is no sexual content in this one, Tendou.”
“Shame. Proceed!”
As he opened his eyes, he found himself standing up, hovering outside a door he didn’t recognize. He wasn’t sure what he was doing just standing there, unable to see into his future mind. What he could feel, however, was his stomach clenched to the point of feeling sick. It was bizarre that he felt so much turmoil when the walls in the hallway seemed to be painted all sorts of bright colors that practically screamed positivity.
At last, Ushijima reached out his hand toward the door but immediately retracted it, clenching his fingers into a fist. It didn’t make any sense to him, why he would be hesitant. From a young age, he had been taught to face challenges. He couldn’t imagine what was waiting behind that door to put so much hesitancy and agony inside him. Whatever it was, he didn’t like it.
His older self took a deep, steadying breath and rapped his knuckles gently against the door. He pressed his ear to the door, but there was no answer.
“May I come in?” he asked, receiving only more silence.
He sighed and turned the knob, cracking the door enough to peek inside. The room was dark, but he could see a lump on the bed in the shape of a human.
“Please?” Ushijima asked again, his voice threatening to break.
The lump turned further away from him and huffed, but it seemed like that was the sign older Ushijima was waiting for. He shut the door softly behind him and crept toward the bed. There was only a sliver of moonlight pouring in from the window, shimmering in the person’s wavy hair against the pillow. His fingers itched to reach out and stroke it, but he once again balled his hands into fists to keep them to himself.
He licked his lips and although Ushijima had no idea what was going on in his mind, he could tell that he was trying to find the right thing to say. It was disappointing, seeing how weak his future self was. The thought of having a soulmate had always appealed to him, but if that was what he had to look forward to, he wasn’t sure he was feeling as eager as before.
Older Ushijima sighed and turned around to sit on the edge of the bed. He could no longer see the person in the bed, but in a way, it seemed to calm him.
“I’m sorry,” Ushijima said, hanging his head. “I’m so sorry for what I said… I didn’t mean it in that way, you know I didn’t.”
“You never do,” a soft voice answered behind him, trembling with threatening tears.
“I know. I am trying.” For a few moments, there was silence, but his future self seemed patient as he squeezed his eyes shut and waited. The bed began to shift underneath him, and Ushijima could feel a hand press against his back. Ushijima exhaled a shuddering breath at the touch and continued. “I feel like you deserve someone better than me.”
There was another beat of silence and then a soft laugh as his soulmate pressed their forehead against his back.
“I’ve been laying here in bed this whole time, thinking the exact same thing.”
“What? I’m the one who upset you.”
“I shouldn’t have even been upset. I know you didn’t mean what you said.”
“By now I should be more aware of things that could hurt your feelings though. I almost wish you were with someone who understood things better than I do. Then they would hurt you less.”
“Shut up,” his soulmate commanded although their tone was a bit playful. The bed lurched again, and a pair of arms wrapped around his neck, a warm breath tickling his ear. “If someone else had been my soulmate, they would have found some other way of hurting me. I hurt you enough.”
“You do not.”
“Liar,” the voice giggled in his ear and nuzzled their nose into Ushijima’s hair, breathing in the scent. “We’re humans, Toshi. We’re not perfect, but I know why we’re soulmates. There’s no one in the whole universe I would rather be with.”
Ushijima had been listening so intently, he hadn’t even realized that his stomach was no longer clenched. Instead of turmoil, he felt only relief as he smiled and turned on the bed to snatch his soulmate into his arms. His earlier disappointment in his future self’s weak state dissipated with the sound of his soulmate’s music laughter and the delicate touch of their fingers stroking through his hair. It was enchanting.
It was still dark in the room as he cradled his soulmate into his arms. It was already difficult to see his soulmate dreams with the cloudy vision, but as the moonlight fell across his soulmate’s face, Ushijima wanted to gasp. His hair was actually silver, shining like diamonds, and his eyes were warm and brown. A delicate mole pricked his skin, just underneath his left eye and all Ushijima wanted to do was kiss it. And as his soulmate’s eyes crinkled in the corners with a smile, his older self did just that.
“Wow,” Semi said once he was done paraphrasing his dream. “That’s really sweet actually.”
“It’s not sweet that I hurt his feelings. It was never my intention to hurt anyone, but it never bothered me like this.”
“Of course not, he’s your soulmate. But it sounds like he really accepts you for who you are, Wakatoshi-kun. Not everyone has that luxury.”
“Why did you say it like that, Tendou?” Semi asked, cocking his head at Tendou curiously. “Are you saying your soulmate won’t accept you?”
“Um, no, he does,” Tendou said quickly, displaying a rare nervousness. “I mean, he will, one day. I don’t think he’s figured out that I’m his soulmate yet, or at least he hasn’t said anything.”
“Shit, who is it? I’m going to beat the guy up.”
“Easy, Semi-Semi,” Tendou laughed. “I was actually looking forward to playing against him, maybe somehow our interactions would reveal the truth to him, but alas…”
“So, it’s someone from Seijoh. Tell me it’s not Oikawa.”
“No, luckily he’s better looking than that.”
Semi narrowed his eyes at Tendou. “I’m curious about your definition of good looks.”
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter because right now, we’re working on Wakatoshi’s problem, not mine.”
“Right. Don’t worry about it, Wakatoshi, he’s going to love you and forgive you every time you hurt him. Now, let’s go out there and crush Karasuno’s soul.”
“Yay!” Tendou cheered and rushed out of the locker room. Ushijima closed his locker, feeling as if he had properly locked away all his worries. He nodded to Semi and they followed Tendou out into the gym. They were hit with cheers from their supporters, the chants already echoing throughout the space.
Ushijima lifted his gaze at them all and gave a slight bow. This was going to be a good game.
He stared up at the high ceiling as he stretched his muscles on the gym floor. The repetition allowed his mind to go blank, offering him a respite from his furious disbelief. It would take a while but eventually, he would have to concede that they weren’t going to Nationals.
Karasuno had been far more than he expected. They weren’t perfect but they were ravenous to win. The strange mix of players and skills had come together and had mobbed him from every side. It was just as Oikawa had warned him; a murder of crows could pick apart an eagle.
Even more disconcerting than losing was Tendou’s somber attitude as he stretched beside him. He claimed that he would no longer play volleyball once they graduated, which hardly made sense to Ushijima. Tendou was incredibly skilled as a middle blocker and could go far. But it was his decision. If he didn’t want to move forward with it, then Ushijima would respect that.
He finally sat up but chose to remain on the floor for a few moments. Gazing across the court, Karasuno was going through their own stretches with laughter and happy tears. He picked every one out individually, something he hadn’t bothered to do before the game. They were nobodies, but somehow together they created something special.
Kageyama’s skills as a setter were unprecedented and Ushijima could easily see him thriving in the warm atmosphere of Karasuno. Hinata seemed to be gaining skills even as the game progressed; still messy in Ushijima’s opinion but the potential was obviously there. Sawamura was an excellent captain and support to his team with receives almost as solid as their Libero, Nishinoya. Tsukishima Kei, as he later found out his name, had carefully laid out the groundwork to block one of his spikes. He had never seen a middle blocker use such well-crafted strategy, and he’s faced many intelligent ones in the past.
The rest of his team was already on their feet, milling back toward the locker rooms. Reon stepped near him and offered his hand, his face grim but compassionate. Ushijima appreciated his silence as well as his understanding; he wished he could communicate so much without saying a word. Even when he did say something, people usually misinterpreted it.
He gave Reon a nod once he was on his feet and turned to follow their friends. The net was already removed from the court, taking away the barrier between them and Karasuno although most of them had already gone to their own locker room. He paused by the bench and picked up his Shiratorizawa jacket, slipping it on like a suit of armor.
When he stepped out into the hallway, he caught sight of Kageyama and Hinata, chattering excitedly about the game. He clenched his jaw, wishing that he could have one more chance to prove them wrong. Just because he couldn’t today, doesn’t mean that he can’t do it in the future.
“Hinata Shoyou and Kageyama Tobio, the ones who sprouted from the concrete,” he said as he stepped behind them, snatching their attention away from their friends. Ushijima stared down at them, bolstering the remnants of his pride and stated, “You will taste defeat… next time.”
“We’ll definitely make it to the same stage as you next time!”
“I’ll definitely make you say that I’m better than Oikawa!”
Ushijima blinked when they shouted in unison, deciphering the mix of words. When he figured it out, he simply grunted in response and turned back toward the doors. One of their upperclassmen, the back-up setter appeared in the doorway and heaved a sigh of relief.
“There you two are! I thought you might have gotten lost!”
“Sorry, Suga-san!”
“It’s fine, next time just let us—” the setter shrieked as he fell forward, tripping on a loose tile. Ushijima lurched forward, just barely catching him before he smacked his face on the floor.
“Are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah,” he said breathlessly. Ushijima could feel his heart pounding against his arm, obviously set-off by the close call. He was about to lift him up when the lights overhead glinted off the other man’s silvery hair. It was familiar somehow, a revelation on the tip of his tongue, but he had no time to jog his memory when the other man gripped Ushijima’s arms to right himself up.
“Thank you for catching me,” he laughed nervously and raised his face, his cheeks flushed slightly. His eyes were a warm brown with long eyelashes fanning over them and a delicate mole dotted right underneath his left eye. Without even thinking, Ushijima raised his hand to it and pressed his thumb against it, caressing it softly.
The brown eyes widened, pretty pink lips opening with a gasp. His fingers tightened on Ushijima’s arms as he looked him over thoroughly. Ushijima, however, couldn’t look away from his face, familiar although they had never met.
He wanted to say something, to blurt out the truth that he suddenly felt in every fiber of his being. Licking his lips, he struggled to find the right words but couldn’t find any.
“Suga-san? Are you alright?” Hinata asked, peering around them cautiously with Kageyama hovering behind him.
The beautiful brown eyes blinked rapidly as if waking from a dream. “Yes! Sorry, you two go ahead. I’m… fine.”
“If you say so.”
Hinata and Kageyama hesitantly walked toward the doors, leaving Ushijima alone with his soulmate. He could feel the urgency of the moment, knowing they had little time. Something had to be said but all Ushijima could do was stare at his other half who was beginning to smile at him. It was small and shy, but it was beautiful enough to take Ushijima’s breath away.
This was the person who would fill his life with joy, laughing at the foolish things he’ll say or do. Who would accept him completely, all his strengths and weaknesses together? They hadn’t even started their life yet and Ushijima wanted to thank him, just for existing.
“Suga! Come on, we’re leaving.”
His soulmate winced, looking over his shoulder. Sawamura was walking toward them, his eyes glancing over the situation as his face grew suspicious.
“Um, can it wait?”
“No, everyone else is accounted for and we’ve got to get back. Coach is paying for dinner, remember?”
“But—”
“Let’s go,” Sawamura said, snatching the back of Suga’s jacket and dragging him out of Ushijima’s arms. Fury erupted in Ushijima’s chest. He wanted to punch Sawamura’s face and take his soulmate back from him. Who was he to grab someone else’s soulmate?
His anger must have shown on his face, or perhaps it was his clenched hands. His soulmate, Koushi as he knew him, glanced back at him frantically and held out a hand.
“It’s okay,” he whispered and then he was gone, pulled away by his captain and out of Ushijima’s sight.
What should he do? Run after him? Would he even be able to say anything? His soulmate was in his arms for several minutes and he couldn’t utter a word.
“Wakatoshi-kun! Wallowing in your misery alone? Come on, we’ll do that together once we get back. Hellooooo?” Tendou asked, cocking his head in front of Ushijima’s face. “Are you alright?”
“I… just met my soulmate, and now he’s gone.”
“You what?!”
“He was here, tripped and I caught him.” Ushijima grimaced and stared down at the ground. “I couldn’t even say anything.”
“Did he realize you were his soulmate as well?”
“Yes, I think so. He couldn’t say anything either when his captain took him away,” he explained, saying the word captain as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. Sawamura had his respect, but he couldn’t feel any of it when he stole his soulmate from him.
“Hey, it’s okay!” Tendou soothed. He wrapped his arm around Ushijima’s shoulders and began to steer him toward the rest of their team. “At least we know where he goes to school and that he plays volleyball. That’s a lot more than we knew before, we’ll find him again!”
“I hope so. I feel like I lost more than just the game.”
“Wakatoshi,” Tendou said in a serious tone that wasn’t very much like him. Ushijima lifted his gaze to find a sad smile on his friend’s face. “You’ve met your soulmate and he recognized you for who you are. I’d say that’s a victory worth celebrating and I’m sure it won’t be long until you’re together. Trust me.”
Ushijima remained silent, allowing Tendou to pull him away. His words did make him feel a little bit better, he did know the name of his soulmate and where he went to school which was a big step forward. On the other hand, he could tell Tendou’s words of assurance were coming from a place of personal experience, an experience that seemed painful. Ushijima wished he could give him similar words of encouragement, but he never had the gift of comfort.
Instead, he reached over and squeezed Tendou’s shoulder. He had no idea if it would help but he felt relieved when Tendou flashed him a genuine smile and began to sing one of his ridiculous songs. It put a sudden thought in his mind that if he grew closer to Koushi, it might make Tendou lonely since they’ve grown so close and his own soulmate didn’t realize it was him.
“Tendou.”
“Yup?”
“You know we’ll always be friends, right?”
His words surprised Tendou enough that he nearly tripped over his own feet. He arched an eyebrow as stared back at Ushijima.
“Well, yeah, I figured we would be. Of course, once your volleyball career takes off you won’t have much time for me, but I’ll always be supporting you from afar.”
“And I’ll be supporting you… always.”
“What the hell?” Tendou sniffed, covering his face with his arm. He remained like that for a minute as he took several deep breaths. Finally, he dabbed his face on his sleeve and gave Ushijima a watery grin. “I don’t think you need to worry about your honesty with your soulmate. If you give him charming lines like that, I’m sure he won’t even hear the other shit.”
“Thank you, I think.”
Tendou huffed out a laugh and bounded over to the rest of the team. He fit right in as he tried to contain his tears, the others still sniffling from their defeat. It hurt Ushijima to gaze at them all, feeling like he had let them down and knew that they were each feeling the exact same thing.
He lifted his chin and proudly led the way through them, patting Shirabu on the back as he passed by. A defeat like this was harsh but it didn’t change the fact that he felt that they were the strongest team. He believed in every single member of his team and the more he thought about it, the more he wondered if that was what Oikawa felt about his own team.
Ah… perhaps I do owe him an apology.
Suga—
“Suga? Suga? SUGA!”
“Ahh, what?!”
“Lunch is almost over and you haven’t eaten anything,” Daichi explained, pointing at his bento which was hardly touched.
“I’m not very hungry.”
Daichi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Would Ushijima want you to faint from malnourishment?”
Suga gasped and slammed his hands down on the table, causing Asahi to flinch. “How dare you say his name when this is all your fault!”
“It’s not my fault.”
“You took me away from him! We didn’t even get the chance to say anything!”
“How was I supposed to know he was your soulmate?! He was holding onto you and from the look on his face, I thought he was going to murder you.”
“No, he was going to murder you for taking me away.”
“Listen, I’m really sorry about that, but you could have said something at the time.”
“I was just… I couldn’t believe it, everything happened so fast. I mean, fuck, he had his hands on me. Those big, rough hands,” Suga whined as he dropped his head on the table.
“Suga, he recognized you as his soulmate too, right?” Asahi asked hesitantly.
“I think so?”
“Then we should try to find a way to reunite you two.”
Suga scoffed and propped his chin on the table. “What are we going to do? Waltz into Shiratorizawa like Hinata and Kageyama? We’d just get thrown out.”
“I think we can be sneakier than those two idiots,” Daichi replied with a smirk. “Come on, Suga, let’s do it! What have you got to lose?”
“No, thanks guys, but this isn’t like the movies where we’ll have this big dramatic reunion. Maybe I’ll talk to coach to talk to his coach, and maybe we can convince them to exchange our numbers.”
“What the hell, Suga? That’s the most boring thing you could possibly come up with!”
“Well, sorry, but I think it’s the most logical and I just want to see him again and actually open my stupid mouth. Thanks for your help guys, but seriously, sneaking onto the Shiratorizawa campus is a horrible idea.”
“Suit yourself,” Daichi said with a shrug. “But at least eat something, otherwise you’re going to be a mess at practice.”
“Hmph, fine.”
A pair of smug grins assaulted him from the other side of the table as he shoveled some curry into his mouth. It made him uncomfortable being ganged up on by the two people he teased most, and it bothered him even more that he couldn’t defend himself as usual. Such was the way with soulmates; the subject had a way of bringing out an inner vulnerability that most people kept hidden away for most of their lives.
He did have to admit that he felt a little better after eating. At least, physically. Emotionally, he’ll have to find some other distractions. Hopefully with volleyball practice that afternoon he’ll find enough to occupy his mind and give his heart a rest from missing his soulmate already.
Ushijima—
“Wow, so this is Karasuno?” Semi asked, grimacing as he gazed at the school grounds that seemed miniscule in comparison to Shiratorizawa. “It’s, um, cozy.”
“Looks like a piece of shit to me!” Tendou laughed. “They don’t even have horses.”
“You do not need horses to play volleyball. You only need a gym.”
“The patron saint of all volleyball wisdom, miracle boy, Ushijima Wakatoshi!”
“Come on, before we get thrown out,” Reon chuckled, patting Ushijima’s back. “Although they don’t seem to have a lot of security.”
“Don’t worry, that’s why I came up with these disguises!”
“We’re just wearing black T-shirts and shorts.”
“Exactly! We’ll blend right in with these crows,” Tendou whispered, waving his fingers about as if he’d performed a magical feat.
Semi groaned and started to walk toward the school. “I’m with Reon. Let’s get this over with.”
“You can’t rush romance, Semi-Semi!”
“Stop calling me that and yes, we can. This place looks empty, so school itself should be out now, right?”
“It seems to be the case,” Ushijima replied, glancing around at the pockets of students milling around without any urgency. He knew Koushi was most likely in volleyball practice, but he couldn’t resist looking at every individual student to see if he was one of them.
It wasn’t like him to feel so jittery and he greatly disliked the emotion. More than anything, he was looking forward to establishing a relationship with Koushi so he wouldn’t feel so damn nervous. A thought strayed in his mind, however, telling him that he would never stop feeling excited when it came to Koushi. All his soulmate dreams were proof of that, whether they were in the beginning stages of their relationship or further into their old age.
They were nearing one of the front entrances when a distant shout caught Ushijima’s ear. He stopped and peered around the side of the building where further down was a side entrance connected by an awning to another building. Ushijima remained frozen as he listened intently until he heard the familiar sound of a hand smacking a volleyball and the subsequent slam of it hitting the court floor. By the time the cheers could be heard echoing out of the open doorway, Ushijima was already moving toward it at full speed.
“Wakatoshi! Where are you going?”
“Ah, don’t you hear it? Tis the sound of the sweetest music to his ears, alluring as a carrot in front of a donkey—”
“Shut up, Tendou, and tell me what it is.”
“How can I shut up and tell you at the same time, Semi-Semi?”
“Volleyball!” Reon interjected, rubbing his fingers across his forehead. “They’re playing volleyball which you two could hear if you stopped bickering.”
“Oof, someone’s pissy.”
“Quiet,” Ushijima ordered as he stepped toward the open door and his companions instantly obeyed. He drew in a deep breath and peered into the gym. As he suspected, Karasuno was inside and running through different drills. He scanned the entire team, his heart pounding harder every time he failed to spot Koushi.
“What’s going on, I can’t see!” Tendou whispered, trying to hover over Ushijima’s back. The other two were crouched underneath him, Reon’s head positioned over Semi’s.
“Go to the other side, dumbass.”
Tendou clicked his tongue and looked around to make sure the coast was clear. Instead of walking to the other side of the door, he somersaulted across the open doorway and slammed his back against the wall. He raised his fists in a silent victory and grinned back at them as if waiting for any kind of acknowledgment for his skills. His face fell when Semi rolled his eyes and Reon simply looked back into the gym.
“Fine, be like that. Have you spotted him yet, Wakatoshi?”
“No, I do not see him anywhere.”
“He couldn’t have retired already, not before Nationals. Maybe he just stepped out,” Reon suggested.
“Perhaps.”
At the bottom of their heap, Semi sighed. “Well, what do we do now? Shouldn’t we go in?”
“Wouldn’t that definitely get us thrown out?”
“But the whole point was to reunite them, right? We can’t just sit here all day. They should at least understand with them being soulmates.”
“Then why are the rest of us here?”
“Moral support.”
There was a soft cough behind them and every one of their backs stiffened at the quiet sound. Slowly, they all turned their heads to see Karasuno’s pretty manager, Shimizu Kiyoko, standing there with a stack of papers in her hands. There wasn’t much expression on her face as she looked them over but eventually, her gaze settled on Ushijima.
“Are you here to meet with Sugawara?”
Ushijima straightened up and nodded. “Yes.”
“You can come in,” she said, walking between them all to enter the gym. Ushijima followed her without question, leaving the other three to share several uneasy glances before scrambling after them. Several people stopped as they entered, the younger players looking confused. When Sawamura saw them filing behind Shimizu, however, a wide grin spread across his face.
He tossed the volleyball he was holding over to Tanaka and jogged over to join them. “I’ll take it from here, Shimizu.”
“Thank you,” she said and walked away from them, joining the younger manager and their coach who were watching everyone curiously.
Sawamura took a moment to look them over individually before stifling a laugh. “Wow, sneaking into Karasuno to join up with your soulmate? That’s very romantic, Ushijima.”
“Ah, that’s good. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking of romance. I just wanted to meet Koushi again.”
“That’s… even more romantic,” Sawamura responded, his smile softening as he looked Ushijima over. “Well, Suga was having trouble concentrating and kept receiving volleyballs to his face. So, he’s over in the other building working on a painting. Reuniting you two will help us out a lot.”
“Is he alright?”
“Yup, it’s fine. None of the spikes were very hard. He’d probably prefer meeting with just you, so maybe you guys could help us out with practice? If you’re not doing anything else.”
“Yay!” Tendou cheered and took off across the gymnasium. “Hey, Megane-kun! I’m here for revenge!”
Sawamura watched the three Shiratorizawa players mingle with his own before turning back to Ushijima. “Come on. I’ll take you over there.”
“Thank you.”
He followed Sawamura out of the gym doors and into the main school building. They were quiet as they walked, and Ushijima wondered if he should say anything. He felt a little guilty for wanting to physically hurt Sawamura when he took Koushi away from him, although he was still a little bitter about it.
As if he could hear his thoughts, Sawamura slowed his pace to walk beside him and flashed him an understanding smile. “I’m sorry about the last time we met. I had no idea you were Suga’s soulmate and when neither of you said anything…”
“Yes, that part was our fault.”
“To be honest, I thought you were threatening him or something. You seemed so intense with the way you were holding onto him.”
“I was shocked. Even if before the game I was thinking of him, during and after my thoughts were entirely on volleyball… and our defeat. I was not expecting to run into him there, it was so sudden.”
“Yeah, that’s what I figured.”
“You seem very close to Koushi.”
Sawamura smirked up at him. “We’ve been good friends since first year. I’m sure you feel the same with your teammates. You certainly have their full support if they accompany you to a strange school to meet up with your soulmate.”
“Yes, I am lucky to have such good friends.”
The halls were mostly empty, some rooms occupied with students singing or playing their instruments. As they neared a room at the very end, more singing could be heard although it lacked any sort of training. Sawamura snickered and grinned up at him.
“You should know now that Suga is tone-deaf and it doesn’t stop him from singing at the top of his lungs.”
“Oh, I see. That’s fine, I think it sounds nice.”
Sawamura laughed even harder and approached the door. “You really are his soulmate. Hold back a minute, I don’t want him to be so surprised he ruins his painting.”
Ushijima nodded and stepped out of sight. Even after Sawamura opened the door, Koushi’s singing didn’t falter. If anything, he seemed to sing louder as Sawamura stepped inside.
Ushijima chuckled softly. Already he was witnessing the little details about his soulmate that had become familiar to him. He was kind and compassionate, but his mischievous nature loved to come out around people he was close with. Although they’ve hardly spent any time together, Ushijima knew that he would be lavished with Koushi’s teasing grin, his impish laughter, and eyes that danced with joy. He was so excited he thought he might burst.
“Suga! Take those off!” Sawamura shouted, and Ushijima was treated to the laugh he craved to hear.
“What’s wrong? You didn’t like my version?”
“Only your soulmate would be able to stand it. Speaking of which, I have an extremely romantic surprise for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Ushijima? You can come in now.”
Ushijima gulped down his nerves and stepped into the doorway. Koushi gasped when he saw him, his paintbrush slipping from his hands onto the tarp beneath his feet. He was still dressed in his T-shirt and shorts from volleyball, swipes of pink and orange paint dotting his cheek and arms.
Ushijima’s feet moved on their own, bringing him closer to his dumbfounded soulmate. He licked his thumb and brushed it across Koushi’s cheek, taking away the dab of paint that didn’t belong there. Koushi’s jaw dropped a little more and too late, Ushijima wondered if he had overstepped his bounds.
“Sorry, you had, um, paint.”
Koushi blinked rapidly and shook his head. “Thank you! Yes, I usually do when I get really into my painting.”
“I’m not surprised. I know how much you enjoy it.”
“You do?!”
Ushijima frowned and cocked his head. “Of course. Most of my dreams of you are when you’re painting. That is, if we’re not, um…”
Koushi giggled and covered his mouth, a flush of pink rising on his cheeks. “Yes, I know what you mean.”
“Unfortunately, so do I,” Sawamura added, his eyes rolling to emphasize the point. “Well, my duty is done, I’ve got to get back to practice. Don’t take too long and forget about your friends, Ushijima.”
“No, I will not. Thank you.”
As Sawamura made a swift exit, closing the door behind him, Koushi frowned in confusion.
“Friends?”
“Yes, several of my teammates came with me to help me find you.”
Koushi beamed up at him and tucked a piece of his hair behind his ear. “That’s funny, Daichi was just trying to convince me to do the same thing. I’m glad you came though, I’m not sure I would have been able to navigate the Shiratorizawa campus.”
“Yes, and they seem stricter when it comes to security, unlike Karasuno.”
“Ha! I love my school, but we don’t have much of a problem with students from other schools trying to break in. Unless their soulmate happens to be hiding somewhere in the building,” Koushi added, his grin turning sly.
Ushijima couldn’t resist smiling back. He wanted to run his fingers through Koushi’s silvery hair and press his lips against the curve of his neck. There were so many things he couldn’t wait to experience with him, but he knew he needed to hold back until they became better acquainted. It was pure torture.
To distract himself, he glanced at the painting Koushi was working on. “Ah… it’s lovely.”
“What, really?”
“I do not know much about painting, but I always like yours. One dream I had was of a future gallery of yours. Most of the dream was just me gazing at each of your paintings, fascinated by every single one. I only looked away to watch you speaking with some potential buyers. You are always so charming; I think you could have sold them a toothpick for a high amount. Even so, your paintings are treasures in themselves.”
He paused to soak in the painting, gazing at the swirls of color that didn’t depict anything at first glance but seemed to lure out emotions from whoever was staring at it. Ushijima had only seen his paintings through the foggy veil of his dreams, it was a treat to see them in real life. He was so transfixed that he realized abruptly that Koushi was silent.
He stepped back from the painting to face him, his hand already outstretched to graze Koushi’s reddened cheek. “Are you alright?”
“I just… did you really mean all that?”
“Yes, I always mean what I say.”
“You do, don’t you?” Koushi laughed breathlessly, his eyes appearing glassy.
“I haven’t upset you, have I?”
“No, the opposite. It means a lot to have your support for my painting. I mean, I knew you’d support me, but to hear you actually like my painting is just incredible.”
“I’m relieved,” Ushijima sighed, allowing his hand to slip down to rub against Koushi’s arm. “Koushi, I want you to know that I may hurt your feelings with my honest words, but I will never intend them to hurt you. I am going to try my hardest to be mindful of that, but I am afraid some things will slip out that you may misinterpret. Many people do.”
Koushi smiled and stepped toward him. It was just one small step, but it automatically made Ushijima’s heart race.
“Don’t worry about that. We have all the time in the world now to get to know each other and thankfully we’ve both had some sneak previews. I already appreciate your honesty, and I’ll try my best to be understanding if something you say sounds… harsh. And hopefully, you’ll be understanding if I get a little carried away about things.”
Ushijima chuckled. “I don’t think I’ll mind that at all.”
Koushi pursed his lips and looked away, but Ushijima could see that he was trying not to smile. He took the chance to look him over a little more, letting his eyes roam down his neck and across his narrow shoulder. Although he wasn’t very tall or as muscular as Ushijima, he could tell he had some solid muscle underneath his shirt as he would expect from someone who played volleyball regularly.
His gaze traveled back up to Koushi’s face, particularly his lips as they were no longer pursed. His own body ached to hold him, his lips tingling to join with Koushi’s. As their eyes finally met, he could feel the desire radiating from Koushi as well.
“I, uh, suppose we should take this slow?” he asked hesitantly. Right before his eyes, Koushi’s face transformed from his angelic state into something more sinister. His grin was wide as he reached up to dance his fingers across Ushijima’s chest.
“Oh, I don’t know. Considering how often you and I were intimate in our dreams, I think we can safely assume that our relationship is incredibly sexual.”
“I have the most ominous feeling that I have no self-control when it comes to you.”
Koushi threw his head back and laughed. He laughed, from something Ushijima had said, and it was magical. Ushijima could feel his face flooding with heat and when Koushi gazed back at him, he reached up to cup his cheek with the most affectionate smile.
“I would prefer if you didn’t hold yourself back with me. I’ve waited so long to meet you. If you’re nervous, would you rather we started slow?”
“Yes,” Ushijima said quickly, nodding despite his self-control wavering.
“Then, perhaps a little kiss wouldn’t hurt?” Koushi purred, lifting himself on his toes and pressing his chest into Ushijima’s. His lips looked moist as they remained open and welcoming, and Ushijima didn’t have it in him to refuse. He wrapped his arms around Koushi’s back and pulled him in, joining their lips into a perfect fit.
Koushi smiled into it, humming with satisfaction. Keeping one arm securely around him, Ushijima lifted his other hand to brush into Koushi’s hair. It was like he remembered from his dreams, but even better. His hair was softer than remembered but always glinting in whatever light was overhead. It was like seeing a strain of gold dust in the sand.
Koushi pulled back slightly to catch his breath, his eyes a darker shade than usual. “I’m afraid if we continue, we may go overboard.”
“Yes, we should probably stop.”
Koushi nodded and then dove in for another kiss. Without parting their lips, he wrapped his arms around Ushijima’s neck and jumped up into his arms. Ushijima caught him easily and spun them around. He moaned into Koushi’s lips as he pressed him into the wall.
The heat was overwhelming, from their mouths opening wider to the warmth seeping through their clothes. It was both familiar and new, remembering things that haven’t happened yet as they experienced it for the first time. Ushijima realized that whatever weakness or vulnerability he had in the future would be okay. It would be okay because he finally had Koushi in his arms, and he trusted him completely.
45 minutes later…
“Jeez, Wakatoshi. You made us wait long enough, we thought you forgot about us,” Semi grumbled. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and kicked a stone on the road.
“My apologies. I lost track of time.”
“No kidding,” Reon laughed, glancing over Ushijima. “I’ll never forget how completely debauched you look when Sugawara finally dragged you back into the gym, looking as proud as a peacock.”
Ushijima pursed his lips as Tendou snickered beside him. “Ah, I’m so proud of you. Our sweet little virgin boy is finally a hot-blooded man.”
“I’m still a virgin Tendou.”
“We don’t need to know that much.”
“Although I am sure it won’t be long—”
“Okay, we get it!” Semi laughed as he clamped his hands over his ears. “That stuff is private, you know.”
“No, I want to hear about it!” Tendou whined and slung an arm around Ushijima’s shoulders. “Come on, give us the details.”
“We have officially exchanged numbers, so now we may talk whenever we like,” he explained, even pulling out his pocket to show off his phone that contained his soulmate’s information.
“Well done!” Reon chuckled.
“And we have a date this weekend.”
“Oh ho! What have you got planned?” Tendou asked, leaning in eagerly.
“His parents are out of town, so he invited me over while he works on his sketching.”
“Boooooring. In situations like that, you should be fooling around! Ouch!” Tendou yelped as Semi smacked his head.
“Shut up, let them go at their own pace!”
“Thank you, Semi, although we do intend to fool around. I will, after all, be naked.”
Ushijima smiled to himself. He was looking forward to spending time with Koushi alone and when they weren’t in any hurry. It took him a minute to register everyone’s silence and shocked stares.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“Naked?” Reon clarified. “You know you’ll be naked?”
“Of course. Koushi intends to use me as a nude model for his sketching.”
“You realize he probably just wants to stare at your body.”
“Is there something wrong with that? I’m his soulmate. I don’t mind him staring at my body one bit,” he explained with a shrug. Another bout of silence reigned over his friends and a strange feeling came over him, something he only observed in other people and had never experienced himself. He smirked and chuckled, enjoying his friends’ stupor almost as much as he looked forward to the future.
“Holy shit, is that really you, Wakatoshi?” Semi asked.
“Yeah, it’s really him,” Tendou clarified, although he continued staring incredulously at Ushijima. “Sugawara didn’t slip you any drugs, did he?”
“No, but I could easily get addicted to his lips. Especially when he kisses me on my—”
“Oh my God, stop!” Semi laughed.
“I was going to say neck. Oh, and my ears.”
Reon chuckled and slapped him on the back. “We’re really happy for you.”
“Thank you. In time, you will all know this feeling when you unite with your own soulmates.”
“Is that so?” Tendou asked, his smile slipping a little as he sighed. “I’m not even sure when I do end up with mine that we’ll be as happy as you two.”
“Tendou,” Ushijima said firmly, stopping in the road to face his friend head-on. “I know that your soulmate has a great deal of influence on your life, but you are in charge of your own happiness. No matter what, you will always have our friendship and we will support you.”
“Thanks, Wakatoshi-kun, but I think you’ll be a little busy with your filthy romance to worry about me.”
“No, he’s right, Tendou,” Semi added, reaching up to squeeze Tendou’s shoulder. “We’ll always have your back and kick your soulmate’s ass if he isn’t everything he should be.”
“Thanks, guys… I don’t want you to think that my future’s dismal. From what I’ve seen in my dreams, we really are happy together. It’s just waiting for him to realize…”
“You’ll get there, you’re strong,” Ushijima assured him.
Tendou scoffed and shook them all off as he started walking again. “That’s enough of that. I want to hear more dirty details about your romance, Wakatoshi-kun. Let me live vicariously through you.”
“As you wish. Koushi actually has more than one mole on his body, other than the one under his eye.”
“Somebody kill me,” Semi groaned. Reon pressed his lips together, bracing himself for the most embarrassing walk toward the train station he’s ever had. Tendou seemed to perk up, however, his smile more genuine than it had before and that was enough for Ushijima.
He didn’t hold back as he described little details about Koushi in a flowery language that he never expected to use, feeling as inspired as a poet in a meadow. In his past, he abhorred such sentiments, finding them insincere and manipulative. He finally understood that honesty could be found when describing someone’s beauty and allurements, and he’s only known Koushi for a little while. It made him chuckle to think how much more he’ll become entranced by Koushi and how happy they’ll be together for the rest of their lives.