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Nazuna stares at Shu blankly, before moving his gaze down to the box in his hands. It was just a little heavy on one side, making the box feel unbalanced in his hands, but not enough for him to worry about having the box slip from his hands.
“It…” Shu starts, but his voice falters when Nazuna snaps his gaze back to him. Shu shifts awkwardly, his mouth opening and closing a few times, before Mademoiselle scolds him to finish his sentence. Shu clears his throat and waves one hand frivolously in the air before resting his fingers on his forehead. “Right. This can never fix… everything,” he says, eyes closed as Nazuna watches his face shift and pucker with the words. After pausing to take a deep breath, Shu opens his eyes and locks them with the small blonde in front of him. “It will never be enough, but I hope you can accept it as a start.”
Nazuna is completely speechless, eyes boring into Shu’s until the pink haired man looks away, blush high on his cheeks. Nazuna blinks and looks down at the box in his hands, setting it gently on his desk, carefully untying the bow on top. It’s satin, tied precisely and expertly, and a light sky blue. Nazuna takes his time undoing the knot, gently folding the long strip of fabric and laying it down on the table. His hands smoothed over the material of the box, gently dragging down the sides as his fingertips find the small crack between the cardboard, slipping inside and sliding the lid up and off the box.
Shu is watching him intently, waiting, Nazuna expects, to see his reaction on whatever he has put in the box for him to find. The small blonde is suddenly reminded of all the expensive and elaborately crafted gifts he had received from Shu, and feels dread welling in his throat that this will be another costume destined to sit, untouched, in his closet.
But, thinking about it more thoroughly, Shu didn’t have his current sizes, and while Nazuna knows he hasn’t gained much weight (old diets die hard), he knows that each of Shu’s costumes are fitted perfectly, down to the width and length of every finger. Why would he make you a costume, anyway? Nazuna asks himself, a small scowl forming on his lips as he scolds himself. You aren’t part of his unit anymore .
Shu clears his throat lightly, and Nazuna jumps, blinking rapidly. Shu tenses, and Mademoiselle is reaching out for Nazuna in an instant.
“Ah, Nazuna-chan, Shu-kun didn’t mean to frighten you!” She frets, and Nazuna smiles tightly, reaching out a pointed finger to touch her palm.
“I’m okay, Mado-nee,” Nazuna says, eyes flicking to Shu’s face, seeing him nearly devoid of emotions, save for blush still high on his cheeks. Nazuna knew Shu sometimes spoke through the doll, yet seeing it in front of him, it truly felt like Mademoiselle was a different person entirely. Nazuna watches as Shu’s mouth doesn’t move when Mademoiselle continues speaking.
“Oh, good, good,” she sighs, hand pressing to her heart. “As long as you’re okay, Nazuna-chan.” Nazuna nods, smile soft on his face, as he moves his gaze back to the box. He finishes removing the lid, setting it to the side, gentle parting the tissue paper, and oh, that’s not a costume at all .
A doll. There is a long doll in the box, with a white, porcelain rabbit’s head, eyes a stunning ruby red. Nazuna feels his breath catch in his throat as he reaches inside to gently scoop it out, caressing it’s head in a cupped hand, the other holding it into a sitting position. Tears well in Nazuna’s eyes as he notes that the doll is wearing a miniature version of Nazuna’s own stage outfit. Crisp white shirt with a row of small silver buttons, a sailor’s collar, and blue shorts reaching past it’s knees. On top of its head, Nazuna noticed that the ears were not a hard porcelain like the face, but rather a soft, velvet. Nazuna pressed the fabric between his fingers gently, feeling the small amount of stuffing. There was a small blue hat, with an even smaller music note charm sewn carefully into it, fitted and pinned over the ears.
Nazuna couldn’t breathe.
“I-Itsuki,” he starts, words choking out, and for the first time in a long time, he truly feels like his voice is useless, because no matter what he does or what he says, he will never be able to explain his feelings correctly.
“In the box you’ll find the… original outfit meant for the doll,” Shu says, waving his hand. His voice softens though, and he places one hand over Mademoiselle’s head, petting her hair gently. “I don’t expect you to use it, but it was too beautiful to get rid of, and, not that I would have placed it upon them, it didn’t fit any of my other dolls.” Nazuna nods, holding the doll gently against his chest as he reaches a hand in to part more of the tissue paper in the box, but his hand freezes at the sight of black fabric, mixed with a deep maroon.
“Oshi-san,” he whispers, words lodged in his throat. He sees the costume, even more elaborate than the one on the doll, the stitching small and precise, capturing every single detail of his past unit outfit. It was beautiful, and stunning, and it made Nazuna feel dizzy, sick, and amazed all at once.
“As I said before, Nito,” Shu says, waving a hand, staring out the window as he speaks. “You need not change the doll into the outfit. It had originally been a gift for the birthday that came after you left our unit. I… I hadn’t planned for you to receive it at all, but in the end, it was Kagehira who convinced me to finally give it to you in a sign of wanting forgiveness. I hadn’t originally planned to make a new outfit for the doll either, but Mademoiselle--”
He’s cut off by Nazuna’s fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, and Shu looks down at the boy in shock. The blonde’s head is bowed, and he is taking small, shuddering breaths.
“Nito?” Shu asks, bringing his wandering hand down from the air on instinct, cupping Nazuna’s cheek, feeling it wet under his palm. “Nito, you’re crying!” Nazuna laughs wetly, one hand still clutching the doll close to his chest, as he looks up at Shu with watery eyes.
“Oshi-san, it’s beautiful,” he whispers, lifting his hand from the box to grab the hand Shu had pressed against his face. “It’s absolutely beautiful.” Shu blinks slowly, once, twice, three times, before his face finally flames, and he can’t seem to form a single coherent sentence. Nazuna laughs, and Shu instantly closes his mouth, watching in awe as Nazuna laughs so freely before him, and feeling it under the hand still pressed to the small boys cheek.
“We’re gunna try,” Nazuna says, squeezing Shu’s hand as he removes it from his cheek. “We’re going to try, and you’re right! This doll won’t fix anything, but…” Nazuna smiles down at the doll in his hands, running his finger gently against its jaw, and Shu feels his own heart in his throat, blinking hard. “But, I’ll let it be a start.”
“Nito, I--” Shu starts, but is stopped when Nazuna holds a hand up.
“Don’t think everything will be fixed quickly,” Nazuna reminds him, and Shu is nodding furiously. “Lots of things… Happened. We’ll never be the same, and I don’t want us to be. But, all the same.”
Nazuna smiles, looking out the window, watching the trees, full of barely blooming cherry blossoms, before looking back down at the bunny in his hands.
“All the same,” Shu repeats, and Mademoiselle holds a small hand out, and the bunny in Nazuna’s hand reaches for it, fingers clicking gently together.
“We’ll start a new page. A new… season,” Nazuna jokes, looking back out the window, watching spring starting to seep into the air. Shu can’t rip his gaze away from Nazuna, his smile small on his face.
“To a new season.”