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2019-08-10
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What the Future Holds

Summary:

Dimitri and Byleth discuss child names during a sleepless night

Notes:

I just finished Blue Lion route and I can't deal with the feelings. So here have this trashy and unedited thing.

Also, this fic doesn't hate Edelgard so... keep it in mind.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

His touch is soft, reverent even. Calloused fingerpads that carry enough strength to snap a man's neck all on their own, and yet they are so gentle, so careful when they lie against the swell of her belly, rubbing soothing circles against the stretched skin.

He hates delicate things, as they end up breaking without fail in his too strong grip, Dimitri once told her, a lifetime ago, in front of a steaming cup of tea. Byleth remembers she had chuckled in disbelief, for the fine porcelain never so much as cracked once in his hold.

And yet, six years later, his hand is no heavier than a feather as he strokes the thin layer of flesh that separates him from their soon-to-be-born child.

Byleth smiles and snuggles closer to her husband, reaching down with one hand to thread her fingers with his and thus earning herself a soft gasp.

"I thought you'd already fallen asleep." He says in her ear, his low baritone sending shivers down her spine. "I apologize if I awakened you."

"Hmm, it's alright." She gives his hand a light squeeze. "Can't sleep?"

It's no secret that sleep has been eluding him for years, taken over by the vengeful screams of demons only he could see. Even now, with the world at peace once more and the ghosts of the past now silent, she knows Dimitri still happens to struggle falling asleep from time to time. Some tragedies leave scars on the soul, far deeper and more painful than the marks of the flesh could ever hope to be, and Dimitri's troubled existence had certainly no shortage of such events. It's nobody's wonders that his nights are not always as restful as they should be.

But they've got time, Byleth thinks. Step by step, she'll make sure the voices and faces that still haunt him finally fall silent, quiet guardians of the night watching over the man they died to protect.

"So it seems." he sighs, shifting on his side as to better reach and wrap a long arm around her waist and pull her against him, cradling her safely against his chest. "I just loathe to be keeping you up as well. You need rest more than anybody."

A soft kick through the inside of her belly causes them both to jump, startled. Byleth frowns, forcing herself to swallow the pained moan that bubbles up to her lips before it can spill out. The last thing Dimitri needs is to be prematurely aware that his heir has indeed inherited his crest. She'll be damned before she unloads another source of guilt on his shoulders.

"Well, it seems like nobody is getting a wink of sleep tonight, after all." She laughs breathlessly, perhaps a little too much, for Dimitri's one eye zeroes in on her, a glint of suspicion sharpening the icy iris like the spear he's so adept at using. Sometimes, she fears that he knows, despite all her attempts to play the pain down. She needs to avert his attention, at once. "Might as well put these hours at use. Have you thought of a name yet?"

He sighs, resuming his soft stroking. "In a sense. Of course, it is just a proposition like many others. I'm open to any alternative you might have."

She grins. For all that he has learned to be assertive as a ruler, he still is as polite and gentlemanly in his private life as he was back at the Academy. She had missed this side of him dearly during the war. "Go on."

"I was considering… Lambert Jeralt. If it's alright with you."

In the thick darkness enshrouding the royal chambers, it would be easy to miss the faint blush staining his pale cheeks, had she not grown used to the soft breathiness his voice takes whenever he's embarrassed. It's a rare sight nowadays, and one that Byleth alone is allowed to witness.

"I love it," she says, and she means it. Her own voice quakes a little as she recalls that fateful moment, that thrice accursed blade carving through the flesh on Jeralt's back, cutting his life short. Her first tears, and the first taste she ever got of the bitter thirst for revenge.

"I heard Jeralt hailed from the Kingdom, before being taken in by Lady Rhea," he says, correctly interpreting her silence as he cradles the nape of her neck and gently rests her forehead against his collarbone. She blinks fast in his shirt, hoping he doesn't mind the damp spot in the fine fabric where the tears she couldn't rein in just spilled. "I thought it would be a fitting tribute."

She nods stiffly.

"What if it's a girl?"

The hand that has been caressing her belly suddenly stops. His whole body stiffens against her, and for a wild moment Byleth wonders if he's feeling unwell, or whether she should run out of the room and yell for help-

"Edelgard."

Her eyes fly wide as the very last name she was expecting fills the room like a gust of icy wind, rattling her bones and freezing her still blood solid in her veins. She cranes her head up. Dimitri's staring down at her, scanning her face carefully for any little trace of emotions.

He's scared, Byleth realizes. Scared to disappoint her.

She grabs his hand and holds it tightly, so tightly she's sure she might have caused harm to any other man that wasn't him. The same hand that never really healed in full after Edelgard stabbed him in the shoulder, her last act as Dimitri's nemesis before falling lifeless at his feet.

"Dimitri…"

"I couldn't help her." He cuts her off, his eye fluttering close. He looks old, far older than he really is. "Whatever her plan was, whatever she had suffered to end up the way she did… In the end, I was not able to save her from herself. And despite that, part of me still wishes to prove that there was another way, another path. That it didn't have to turn the way it did. Foolish, isn't it?"

His voice falters and wavers, a smirk full of regret and self-loath splitting his sharp features in two. The blue hilted dagger resting on the desk in the corner glints knowingly in the timid light of dawn that filters like a blade through the blinders.

Carefully as to not unsettle the baby, Byleth props herself up on an elbow.

"You did save her."

His eye opens, slowly, wearily, like a wounded animal resigned to its fate as its butcher approaches. Her unbeating heart aches and twinges. The curse that really torments him is not born out of hatred, but of love.

"You saved her," she repeats, more firmly. "By taking her life and crown, you relieved her of her burdens and unified Fódlan once again under a single banner. You're carrying her legacy on your shoulders, and I know… no, we both know you'll be able to accomplish what she could not."

She lowers herself on him, resting her head against his chest. His heart thunders in her ear, beating hard enough for the two of them.

"So don't you dare downplay your endeavors. She died a villain so you could rise as a hero, and entrusted the fate of this land to you. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

She feels rather than hears his low, grumbling chuckle.

"I must admit I was not expecting to receive a full lecture in the middle of the night, Professor."

She shrugs. His hands rise to rest against the small of her back, steadying her against him. "It's never too late for class, I'm afraid."

He laughs, and this time it's light, bright, almost boyish. The kind of laughter she would expect from Claude, and never from Edelgard.

But maybe, just maybe…

As time trickles by and sleep eventually takes hold of the weary king, Byleth lays awake, hands splayed wide protectively against her belly.

We'll be eagerly waiting for you… Edelgard.

Notes:

As I have yet to go through Black Eagles (Idk if I'll ever muster up the strength, I love Dimitri
and the rest of BL too much) it's likely my interpretation of Edelgard's last moments are not really canonically compliant. I love thinking she pulled a Lelouch during the last fight, but I might be waaay off lol

Anyway, thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts! As long as it's worded politely and respectfully, I take all kinds of criticism!!