Archive of Our Own

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like a dolphin?”

Mark shouts this above the sound of rushing water, sound barely carrying into Jeno’s waterlogged ears. It’s something he says constantly, a way for him to say ‘go faster’ without other people knowing- a way for Jeno to know he’s going slow on the current lap. He’s been saying it since they were kids, competing together on the same teams (he can still hear the “yah! Jeno! Dolphin, dolphin!”s if he thinks about it hard enough). 

Jeno doesn’t really understand how Mark’s brain works, but it’s Mark after all, so he goes with it. 

Jeno finishes the lap, pushing as hard as he can manage, hands slamming into the pool wall as he comes up for air. “Time?” he asks, sucking in breaths as he moves his goggles up off his eyes, blinking hard to get his eyesight back in order.

“One oh nine,” Mark reads off, frowning slightly as he says it. “Two seconds slower than yesterday. You feeling okay?” he asks, and Jeno knows he’s asking more to be a dick than actually asking because he cares. Mark is Jeno’s worst critic, other than himself and their coach.

“Asshole,” Jeno mumbles without heat, pushing up out of the pool and reaching for a towel on the bench next to Mark. Mark reaches out for a playful slap, and Jeno dodges it with a laugh, retaliating by reaching for a slap of his own. His connects, and he laughs harder at the look on Mark’s face. Next thing he knows, he’s back in the pool because of Mark tackling him, both of them wrestling under the water for a few seconds before resurfacing inches away from each other. They end up in a fit of giggles, heads thrown back as their laughs echo around the pool building.

That’s how their coach finds them, gasping for breath in the middle of the pool. 

“Boys!” she barks, staring down at them looking unimpressed, arms crossed and foot looking dangerously close to tapping away on the tile. They quiet almost immediately, looking up at her and waiting for whatever she has to say. First it's a scolding that has them both sheepishly apologizing for slacking off, and then it’s watching as a slow smile spreads across her face. 

“She’s going to kill us. That’s the murder smile,” Mark whispers, leaning close to Jeno and wrapping an arm around his waist in the water. “It was nice knowing you, and I’m sorry again for that kiss during the nationals afterparty in front of that kid you liked.”

“ Please stop bringing it up every time you think we’re about to get killed, I’m trying to forget it happened, ” Jeno whispers back aggressively, eyes flicking to Mark and then back to their coach. She doesn’t look like she’s gonna tell them what has her smiling until one of them asks, which is just typical, really. 

“Well I’m sorry I still hold guilt over what drunk me decided to do! I wasn’t even supposed to be drinking! I had to compete the next day!” Mark hisses, pinching Jeno’s waist in emphasis. Jeno huffs loudly, pushing off Mark’s side with his knee and making his way over to their coach. “Are you here to tell us we’re getting a new coach because you’re finally done with our shit?” Mark asks, voice louder than when he was talking to Jeno seconds ago.

“In theory,” she responds, unfazed by Mark’s informality, smiling wider. It has the hairs on Jeno’s arms standing up from where he’s gripping the edge of the pool. She was so cryptic , all the time . “The national team wants you guys to move to their facility. To train for the Olympics,” she finally says after a long pause to build up suspense, smile even wider than Jeno thought possible. 

“ What? ” Jeno and Mark ask in sync, both of them turning to stare at each other with wide eyes.

“Like- the national team? The one who sends people to the real Olympics ?” Mark asks, voice sounding weak. He joins Jeno at the edge of the pool, staring up at their coach like she just granted them the winning ticket to the lottery. “It wasn’t a scam call?”

“Mark, I’m friends with the head coach. It was really him,” she says slowly, like Mark is being ridiculous. Jeno has to agree, even if he can’t quite wrap his head around what she’s saying right now. The national team wants them?

“When do we leave?” Jeno asks, interrupting whatever Mark was about to respond with. Probably a conspiracy on how voice modulators could’ve been used during the call or something. 

“Two days,” she says, stepping back and handing towels to Mark and Jeno when they resurface from the pool. She watches as they dry off, rolling her eyes when Mark asks if she was positive it was the head coach (and then he’s going off about voice modulators, like Jeno thought he would). 

Jeno barely has time to process the fact he’d be uprooting his life to go train for the Olympics in two days before he’s being pushed into the locker rooms with Mark by their coach, being yelled at to get presentable because they had to a meeting soon. Jeno looks over at Mark on the way there with a can you believe this? expression on his face, truly dumbfounded at how this could possibly happen to them. Mark nods along in agreement.

Jeno knew they were good, but were they that good? He sure hoped so. 

+

Jeno decides the first day of moving into the training facility is, how Mark would put it, absolutely fucking bullshit .

It doesn’t start off bad- not by a long shot. They get formally welcomed by an assistant who works for their soon-to-be-coach, told his name is Doyoung. He looks friendly, wide smile and kind eyes as he explains all the facility has to offer. They get escorted to their rooms in the dorm (they’re like suites with how nice they are, it’s almost ridiculous), and get fed better than Jeno’s been able to eat in months. But they don't get to rest for long- Doyoung tells them they need to get ready for the pool, because the head coach wants to see them actually swim. 

And Jeno’s not nervous- he’s not , honest. He’s been swimming his whole life, there's nothing else he knows how to do better. He’s just a little… intimidated. Apprehensive. He’s never been in a room with so many other swimmers other than at swim meets, and there he’s in his own zone, just desperate to tune everyone else out and get the gold. 

Regardless, he gets ready because it's what’s asked of him (and really, Jeno’s a people pleaser, lighting up like a trained dog told good boy whenever someone is happy with him). He makes his way to the pool with Mark at his side, the two of them shockingly silent for once. Maybe Mark’s feeling the same as Jeno, he wonders. 

All those emotions get thrown out the window the second he pushes open the door to the pool. He hears a laugh, tinkling and sweet in the air, so unassuming to someone who doesn't know that laugh. 

But Jeno knows that laugh. He knows who the owner of it is, knows the voice attached to it even better, knows the movement and strokes of the other’s body like he knows his own. 

“Lee Donghyuck,” Jeno breathes out, feeling anger well up inside him like he’s a toddler who just got their favorite toy taken away, on the precipice of throwing a tantrum (he won't- throw a tantrum, that is, but he wants to. He desperately wants to). He hears Mark whisper an oh shit, and genuinely echoes those same sentiments right now. 

The owner of the name whips around, turning from where he was talking to Na Jaemin (another boy Jeno knows from growing up doing meets, but not nearly as important to Jeno as Donghyuck is), searching the room for whoever said his name. His eyes settle on Jeno and a slow smirk spreads over his face, going from confused to self-satisfied in only a split second. Jeno feels his body tense up in anticipation of what he could possibly be about to say. 

“Well if it isn't Lee Jeno!” Donghyuck says loudly, arms outstretched as if he were to give Jeno a hug. But he won't- never would (Jeno doesn’t want him to, anyway). The rest of the swimmers in the building turn to look at them curiously, interests peaked by Donghyuck’s loud voice. “Who knew you'd show up here, considering your times all last season,” he says, not moving from where he’s standing by the edge of the pool with Jaemin. Jaemin looks on curiously as well, but he can’t be confused, not with how long this has been going on between them. 

“Funny you say that, considering I remember getting gold over you…five? No, six times last season?” Jeno fires back, and he can feel Mark edge his way closer to Jeno’s side. Mark definitely knows about him and Donghyuck, and has spent hours upon hours listening to Jeno rant about the boy. The perks of best friendship. 

Donghyuck scowls, never happy being reminded he lost against someone else (and really, that might be the one thing him and Jeno have in common- a hatred for losing). He moves to get closer, maybe get all up in Jeno’s face and try and start a proper fight- or tries to, but a tall man makes his way over to the space in between them and he freezes in place. 

“I see we all know each other here,” he says, giving them a little, pleased smile. He can’t be that dense, Jeno thinks, looking at them like they're all friends . Jeno feels a coil of dread start to work it's way up inside of him. “How nice. Makes my job easier,” he comments, and Jeno can only assume this is the head coach with the way he talks, the way he carries himself. 

“Johnny, we’re not-” Donghyuck starts, sounding frustrated and annoyed, like Jeno has ruined his whole day. It sends a self satisfied zing through Jeno, and he feels a little bit like an asshole (but it's Donghyuck, so he deserves it). 

“Quiet,” the head coach (Johnny?) says softly, voice commanding but not harsh. He motions Jeno and Mark closer, doing the same for Donghyuck and Jaemin until they're standing in a semicircle around him, Donghyuck and Jeno on the far ends and Mark and Jaemin in the middle. “Boys, you are my relay team this year. I expect nothing but teamwork from you four, prior rivalries aside,” he says simply, like he didn’t just tilt Jeno’s world on his axis. 

“Relay?” Donghyuck pipes up, sounding as confused as Jeno feels. Jeno knows, like Donghyuck knows, they've never done relay a day in their lives. “I thought I was training for solos.”

“And you are. But now that we have Jeno and Mark, you're doing relay as well,” Johnny explains, turning to Jeno when he’s done talking. “You’ll be doing the same, Jeno.”

“We’ve never done relay,” Jeno responds, gesturing to him and Donghyuck. And isn't that funny, him talking for Donghyuck now? Donghyuck doesn't seem to appreciate it, if the the hissed don’t talk for me from the other side of the semicircle is anything to go by. 

“So you will learn,” Johnny responds, unfazed, like he isn't completely flipping their worlds upside down and forcing them to learn how to work on a team when they've been solo their whole lives. Like they aren't doing this for the first time while training for the Olympics. 

Johnny gestures to the pool behind them, small pleased smile still on his face from earlier. “Now, I’d like to see you two swim,” he says, and Jeno moves to the pool on autopilot. He feels like he’s in a dream, like none of this can possibly be real. Relays? Relays alone are hard, but having to learn how to work as a team with someone he distinctly doesn’t even want to interact with is something else entirely. 

With a sigh, he gets in the pool and starts his laps, Mark in the lane next to him. At least this feels comfortable, when he knows the next year won’t be. 

+

Jeno has been swimming since the beginning of time. His mother says that, he says that, anyone who associates with him says that. 

He’s really been swimming since he was six, after falling in the pool at his own birthday party. He’d spent the next 30 minutes of that day hacking up chlorine water, tears streaming down his face as his father rubbed his back anxiously. One thing led to another (his parents frantically looking up places that gave kids swim lessons, calling any and everyone), and Jeno still recalls spending the first week of swimming lessons crying his eyes out, terribly freaked by the water.

There’s something haunting about looking in the depth of the deeper end, pressure building up against his ears as he imagines himself in it, down below. He didn’t want to get in, for the fear of not being able to get out.

Only, he didn’t account for the feeling of wanting to stay in.

By week 2 of lessons Jeno was the fastest swimmer and the most improved. His coaches saw potential in him, so at the end of the 4 week lessons they pulled his parents aside and offered a spot on their local team. Jeno was hooked , even in his little six year old brain he knew he wanted to do this forever .

By middle school he was on their city’s official team, balancing work and a personal life, while spending all his free time in chlorine, pushing himself just to go a bit faster . It was in middle school where he met two life changing people.

Mark Lee tells him he looks like a dolphin when the city’s official team meets for the first time. Mark Lee , of all people. In return, Jeno calls him annoying. They’ve been best friends ever since, attached at the hip like they were surgically put there. 

The second person is someone Jeno learns to hate with a passion. Lee Donghyuck . He meets him at the second meet of the season, where one of the other city teams is competing alongside his team. Donghyuck is smug, cocky, and overall just not nice. He sneers at Jeno when he wins gold, only a split second faster than Jeno himself.

Jeno goes home with a silver that day, bitter taste in his mouth as he imagines that look over and over. That was the beginning of their rivalry, as Mark dubbed it three meets in. It was either Donghyuck or Jeno on the podium after that, in the first or second spaces, rarely anyone else. 

Jeno would be lying if he said he wasn’t an overachiever. That’s why he joins not only his city team, but his school swim team in high school as well. Anything to get more practice, be better, faster ( better than Donghyuck ) . He ends up making swim team captain almost immediately, and feels a flare of pride at that. It's not a surprise when he has school meets and sees Donghyuck as his own school’s captain as well. 

“Isn't it too much chlorine for you?” his mother asks often, joking tone to her words. She's proud of Jeno, he knows so. 

“Of course not,” Jeno responds, like he always does. 

He’s convinced it’ll never be enough- love for the water like an addiction . Once he graduated, he’d continued swimming on the city team, him and Mark being the only two original members left. His goal was always the Olympics- no matter what he had to do to get there. 

It just seems like fate that the year he’s legal to compete, the Olympics are coming around again. 

+

Their first training session as a team is an unmitigated disaster. 

Jeno thinks Donghyuck goes into it determined to be an asshole, if him slamming open the pool doors fifteen minutes late is anything to go off of. It scares the hell out of Mark, the boy jumping and grabbing onto the nearest person (who just so happens to be an amused Jaemin). 

“I have arrived,” Donghyuck says, like he’s not late, like this isn't the worst first impression he could probably give off. He takes off his sunglasses, eyes immediately landing on Jeno as he smirks. 

“Where have you been?” Jeno hisses, unable to hold back the flare of annoyance at Donghyuck’s flippancy. He knew Donghyuck was an asshole, but he never accounted for him being a slacker as well. 

“ Some people have meetings to attend to, interviews to complete,” Donghyuck says, waving a hand as he speaks, looking everywhere but at Jeno. It pisses Jeno off to no end. “Wouldn’t expect you to understand,” Donghyuck adds, smirk only growing. 

“You know what-” Jeno starts, moving to get closer in an echo of Donghyuck from yesterday. He was sick of Donghyuck treating this like anything other than a job . 

“Guys-”  Mark and Jaemin pipe up in unison, Mark still standing close to Jaemin near the benches. 

“What, are you gonna hit me, Jen?” Donghyuck says, dropping the nickname like they’re friends , like that's not something reserved for people who actually care about Jeno. Jeno can see Mark cringe from the corner of his eye. 

“ Don’t call me that,” Jeno responds, standing a few inches away from Donghyuck in a few quick strides. “This is a job, our careers on the line, and you’re acting like none of this matters.”

Donghyuck frowns mockingly, making a noise of fake sympathy, and that has Jeno’s blood boiling. Jeno moves even closer, so him and Donghyuck are face to face, fists clenched at his sides. 

“You’re such a child ,” Jeno spits. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath so he doesn’t do something stupid like actually hit Donghyuck. When he opens his eyes again, Donghyuck is staring at him, unimpressed. 

“Says the one who’s getting all up in my face for being late because of an actual reason ,” Donghyuck responds just as harshly. Jeno can sense Mark and Jaemin inching closer, getting ready to physically break them up if need be. Jeno wants to scream. 

“You could’ve easily moved something. We agreed on eleven yesterday, ” Jeno says, taking a deep breath and flexing his hands. 

“Go on, baby, hit me if it’ll make you feel better,” Donghyuck says. He smiles, a little quirk of his lips, when the pet name serves to make Jeno angrier. 

Before he knows what he’s really doing, Jeno is pushing Donghyuck back by the shoulders, causing the other boy to stumble. He doesn’t look shocked, just satisfied that he was able to rile Jeno up so much. Mark is stepping in in a flash, grabbing Jeno around the arm and dragging him away with a soft easy, Jen . Jeno huffs, following Mark out of the pool building and into the open air, taking in deep breaths like he hasn't breathed in minutes. 

Jeno can feel low simmering guilt over what he did already, emotion bubbling up and making a home behind his ribcage. He wasn't an angry person, nor a violent one, but Donghyuck just knew how to get under his skin. 

And the thing is, Jeno knows why Donghyuck bothers him so much. He’s spent a lot of time thinking about it over the years, during laps in the pool after a particularly hard loss or curled up with Mark like exhausted puppies after a satisfying win. Jeno knows the entire reason Donghyuck bothers him is because they're exactly alike when it comes to swimming. Greedy to win, to taste victory, trained to push themselves harder than before when they don’t get that satisfying end. It's like looking in a mirror, sometimes, when Jeno sees the face of defeat Donghyuck wears when he was just a second slower than he had to be (just because they were similar didn't mean Jeno had to like him, though). 

“Alright?” Mark asks after a considerable stretch of silence, just letting Jeno get himself back in order. 

“Peachy,” Jeno says, voice dripping with sarcasm. He was still angry, and truly didn’t want to go back in to practice. Just the thought of having to be around Donghyuck after all of that had his blood boiling all over again. 

“I can talk to coach, let him know we needed to reschedule for tomorrow,” Mark says, like he can read Jeno’s mind. Jeno nods, taking one last big breath and letting it out slowly, feeling the anger flow out of him in a rush, leaving exhaustion in its wake. 

“Thanks, Mark,” Jeno says softly, squeezing Mark’s hand before taking off back to his dorm. What he needed was to be alone, get his thoughts back in order, and seriously prepare to deal with Donghyuck again tomorrow. 

He flops on his bed when he gets back, staring up at the ceiling for a long time, just wondering what he could've possibly done to deserve having to deal with Lee Donghyuck for the next year. 

+

After the disaster that was their first training, it can’t get much worse after that. Johnny’s taken to sitting in on every session, a way to monitor them (which started after the fight, so Jeno’s a bit... suspicious of the actual motive), pointing out ways to improve. Jeno knows Johnny’s busy, having the whole facility under his wing to manage and overview, so him being there for every session makes Jeno understand how important this is. He’s not here today, but Jeno can hear an echo of his voice as he swims anyway. 

Johnny’s taken to calling them the golden boys, his future gold champions. Jeno feels like that’s less true than when they started. Sure, they’ve made considerable time progress, learning how the other does their laps and how to minimize time in between being out of the water. The only real problem is-

“Earth to slacker,” Donghyuck singsongs, interrupting Jeno’s thoughts, and there it is. The entire reason Jeno cannot focus. 

Jeno will begrudgingly admit Donghyuck has gotten better over the past few months. He got over his momentary ‘this isn't fair for me so it's not fair for anyone’ mood, determined to actually do his job now. The only problem is that he's also determined to annoy Jeno to no end, get under his skin and make him feel like he was doing everything wrong . 

If it's not the “Can’t you go faster, Jeno?”s, it’s the constant remarks that have everything but nothing to do with Jeno. 

“I’m going as fast as I can, ” Jeno stresses as he resurfaces from the water, annoyance growing steadily. He was already frustrated with himself, and Donghyuck nitpicking him was not helping. 

“You’re not,” Donghyuck says simply. “I've seen you go faster and this isn't it,” he adds, moving closer to the pool so he can crouch down towards Jeno. 

“I’m surprised you think about anything other than yourself, with that giant metal pole up your ass,” Jeno grumbles angrily, annoyance hitting its peak. He pushes up, out of the pool, Donghyuck straightening up and backing away. He can see Donghyuck gearing up to retaliate. “You don’t know shit, Donghyuck. You don’t know me, ” Jeno says, before Donghyuck can say anything. 

“I know you obviously don't deserve your wins, if you fucking swim like this, ” Donghyuck hisses, hand flying out to point at the pool. The harshness catches Jeno off guard, and he wants to reel back. Donghyuck looks furious, and Jeno feels like he’s been slapped. There’s a rushing in his ears, white noise blocking out everything but a loop of “ don’t deserve ”. 

And Jeno- Jeno’s always struggled with self worth. It's been a thing since he’s had to spend half his time shirtless in the water, since he started really competing. Donghyuck has just enabled the little voice in his head, questioning it all. Did he deserve those wins, truly? He thinks back to every win against Donghyuck, every split-second-difference moment, and truly wonders if it was just luck. He didn't deserve to be training for the Olympics , not really. He can feel his mental walls breaking down, one by one. 

Jeno doesn't realize he’d frozen in place until Donghyuck starts properly yelling at him, and his resolve well and truly crumbles. 

“ Fuck, Donghyuck, do you have to be such an asshole? ” Jeno bites out, interrupting whatever Donghyuck was in the middle of saying, dangerously close to tears. He can't cry, not now. “When will you fucking realize your words can actually hurt someone?” he says, ignoring the burning stares from Mark and Jaemin off to the side. Jeno knows he instigated, knows he started this, but he knows he doesn't deserve to be treated like this. Donghyuck’s mouth snaps shut, eyes wide as he stares at Jeno, and Jeno feels like he’s going to throw up. His eyes sting, and his chest hurts, and he fucking hates this. 

He's halfway into the locker room when he hears the “what the fuck, Donghyuck?” from Mark, and Jeno can tell the other boy is pissed. Fuck it, Jeno thinks. Whatever Donghyuck gets, he deserves. 

If he cries in the shower, tucked close to the stall wall, no one comes in to check on him. 

+

Jeno’s laying halfway on Jaemin and Mark, laptop spread out on his bed while something plays softly in the background. Jeno’s long since zoned out, blinking lazily at the screen despite not registering what's going on. He’s mentally exhausted from practice earlier today- everyone in the room is. Jeno hasn’t said a word to Donghyuck since last week, practices full of stifling discomfort and clipped out direction.

Jeno’s eyes flick up to Mark, watching as his hand makes its way through Jaemin’s hair over and over. Jeno hums, maybe in displeasure at not getting the same treatment, or just acknowledgement, and he slips lower down the bed. Jeno’s not stupid. He knows what tonight is- a distraction from everything that happened with Donghyuck last week. Jaemin had barged into his room, Mark in tow (the two had gotten extraordinarily close lately, and Jeno was happy about it, no matter what Mark tried to insinuate), demanding Jeno clear off his bed and get comfortable. A night to binge shows, Jaemin had proclaimed. 

So, Jeno complied. He’d be lying if he said he didn't need it. 

It's when he's in the in between of being awake and asleep when there's a knock on his dorm door, effectively startling him out of the trance he’d fallen into. He whines at Mark’s sleepy push to his side, the boy reasoning that he was on the edge of the bed so he had to get it. He groans as he gets up, whining out a “shut up” when there's another knock on the door. “I’m coming,” he says, louder this time. 

Before he can even register who’s on the other side of the door, Jeno is being pushed out of the way, the boy stumbling from not being fully awake yet. “Sure, just let yourself in,” he mumbles, staring as Donghyuck just waltzes into his room like he owns the place. Donghyuck goes to ask “ Have you seen Jaemin?” but stops halfway through the sentence. He pauses, eyes flicking to the side and staring down at Mark and Jaemin on Jeno’s bed, then looks back to Jeno. 

“They’re sleeping,” Donghyuck says, like it's the weirdest thing in the world. He looks tired, too, lines under his eyes prominent in the low light. They've been working hard, nonstop for months, it only makes sense they'd all look like this. 

“So was I, ” Jeno says, finally closing the door when it's clear Donghyuck is going to stay a while. He yawns, jaw cracking audibly, and presses his palms into his eyes. 

“Oh,” Donghyuck breathes out, frowning slightly. He looks- hurt? “I wasn't invited,” he says, head cocked to the side in confusion. 

“Jaem texted the groupchat earlier,” Jeno lies, not wanting to start a fight with Donghyuck currently. He can't exactly tell Donghyuck this night was a way to distract Jeno from thinking about him. Jeno crosses the room and sits at his desk chair, blinking lazily up at the boy. “Barged in my room with snacks and his laptop demanding we watch the new season of Black Mirror. You know he’s like, really mad you don't watch it with him, right?”

“Of course I know,” Donghyuck says, frown deepening. He looks downright exhausted the longer he stands there. “He watches it with Yangyang usually, because I get too freaked out.”

“Well. We texted you,” Jeno reiterates with a shrug, standing up again to move the laptop off the bed before Mark can kick it off in his sleep. Jeno feels off, weirdly not on edge around Donghyuck for the first time in months, despite everything that happened last week. 

“Lost my charger,” Donghyuck says as way of explanation and good, perfect excuse. He looks around Jeno’s room from where he was standing, curious. Donghyuck looks like he feels uneasy, too, but is trying to hide it behind his usual confident mask. He yawns, then, soft noise falling out of his mouth, and Jeno feels something well up inside of him that he doesn't know how to name. 

“You should probably,” Jeno starts, gesturing to his bed that's only half full, Mark and Jaemin practically hugging in their sleep and squished against the wall. “Mark won't get up, he never does,” Jeno says by way of explanation, biting his lip at the flare of anxiety that accompanies his suggestion. This was just Donghyuck. They weren't friends , not really, but they were civil now- teammates. Or- as civil as they could be after that fight, without Donghyuck apologizing. They could sleep in the same bed together and be fine. 

“Yeah, sure,” Donghyuck says, surprisingly not putting up a fight like Jeno thought he would. Perhaps he was more upset about missing out on the invite than he’d let on. Donghyuck crawls into bed, wrapping an arm around Jaemin’s waist easily, like he’s done it a thousand times. 

Jeno crawls in next to Donghyuck, too tired to really think about what any of this means, could mean. His back is to Donghyuck, facing the room versus the wall like he usually does. He doesn't want to- impose? on Donghyuck’s personal space, despite this being his bed, and everyone squished together in one big puppy pile. 

“I can hear you thinking from here,” Donghyuck says quietly, voice already sleepy. Jeno blinks, not expecting Donghyuck to try and have another conversation with him. “Listen, uh-” he pipes up, when Jeno doesn't answer. 

“Yeah?” Jeno asks softly, despite the momentary thought to just let Donghyuck think he’s asleep. Donghyuck sounded nervous, almost, and Jeno was curious. 

“I’m not- I’m not the best at this, so just hear me out, okay?” Donghyuck starts. Jeno can feel when he shifts his position in bed minutely, feel the heat of Donghyuck’s body a long line just barely touching Jeno where there's just enough room to fit them. Feel him take a deep breath in, before continuing with a soft, “I’m sorry. For last week. It was wrong of me to say all that, especially when I knew you were trying your best.”

“We were all frustrated,” Jeno responds, feeling a weight lift off him at Donghyuck’s apology. It might've stung exponentially in the moment, Jeno’s own insecurities coming out of Donghyuck’s mouth, but he’s had a week to think it over. A week to realize that frustration breeds harshness, no matter how nice someone may be outside of it. “It's not an excuse, but we were frustrated. It's alright, Hyuck,” Jeno continues, nickname slipping out despite himself. In an act of boldness, he reaches back, patting Donghyuck’s side in reassurance. Donghyuck grabs his hand, squeezing once before letting go. 

“You know,” Jaemin pipes up, voice thick with sleep, effectively startling Donghyuck and Jeno out of the moment that fell around them. “Your sappy yapping is heartwarming, really, but baby is trying to sleep,” he says, words slurring together in exhaustion. “And baby likes to sleep. A lot.”

“Shut up, Jaem,” Jeno and Donghyuck chorus in unison. 

“Get over here. Cuddle your team,” Donghyuck tells Jeno after a few seconds of silence, tugging on his arm to get him to roll over. Jeno obliges, awkwardly trying to figure out where to put his hands, before Donghyuck grabs his hand and places it around his waist for him. Well that solves one problem. Jeno sighs, settling into the new position, forehead falling to rest on the back of Donghyuck’s neck out of instinct. 

Donghyuck hums, hand reaching back to ruffle Jeno’s hair. “Night, Jen,” Donghyuck whispers. Jeno makes a noise of agreement, and sleeps the best he has in weeks. 

(“Hot,” someone (Jaemin) whines loudly, startling Jeno awake before the sun is even halfway in the sky. 

“Shut up, ” Donghyuck growls, barely coherent. He leans further into Jeno, and Jeno tightens his grip on Donghyuck’s waist out of instinct. 

“Pancakes?” Mark asks, head popping up over the mass of bodies like he’s a meerkat. “We should get pancakes.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Jeno mumbles into Donghyuck’s neck when Jaemin agrees loudly , causing Donghyuck to giggle at the feeling of Jeno’s breath brushing over his skin. 

If they all end up out of bed and in a diner twenty minutes later, it's only because Mark and Jaemin physically crawled over the both of them and dragged them up.)

+

Jeno is late. Jeno is extraordinarily late. It's the first time he’s ever been late for practice, in the eight months they've been working together. 

He can't even lie and say he has a good reason. He’s just- he’s burnt out, he’s tired, and he’s sad . For once in his life, he doesn't want to get into a pool, he just wants to curl up in bed and sleep off whatever weird mood has fallen over him. He’s not like this. 

When he walks into the pool building, it's to find all three of his team sitting on the bench, looking concerned rather than angry. Jeno thinks he’s going to cry. 

“Jen!” Mark exclaims the second the doors bang softly closed behind the boy, standing up and making his way over immediately. He takes in Jeno’s appearance, like he's assessing him, and Jeno wants to hide. He knows Mark is going to be able to tell something’s wrong immediately. 

Jeno spots Jaemin and Donghyuck moving closer as well, sporting matching concerned looks. That's definitely new, Donghyuck looking like he cares rather than he wants to fight. 

“Okay?” Mark asks softly, like he doesn't want Jaemin and Donghyuck to listen in. He looks so worried, and it brings Jeno back to a time when he was hurt a few years ago, shoulder strained from practicing too much. Mark had doted on him the entire time he was healing, acting like Jeno had done much worse than he actually had, tutting over him like he was defenseless (never mind the fact that Jeno is bigger and stronger than Mark). 

“Fine,” Jeno responds, knowing he sounds tired to his own ears. Maybe if he just… starts practicing, it’ll be fine. Mark gives him a skeptical look, but moves back regardless so they could get started. 

It's a half hour into practice when Jeno’s resolve just- gives out. He prepares for his lap, dives in, and just cannot find the energy to swim anymore. He's so tired. He doesn't bother propelling forward, just floats there as he tries to ignore the voice in his head telling him to just get over it. 

“Jen?” Mark asks from the starting block, sounding concerned and vaguely panicked. Jeno feels a laugh bubble up inside of him at the ridiculousness of how awful he feels, at how downright ridiculous this all seems. Jeno moves so he's treading water rather than floating, and looks up at Mark, Donghyuck and Jaemin not far behind him. 

“Mark,” Jeno says, hands moving back and forth in the water. “I feel extraordinarily awful,” he says simply, too tired to deny it, even in front of Jaemin and Donghyuck. He feels heavy, like if he stops moving for one second, he’ll just sink to the bottom of the pool like a rock. 

“C’mon, come out of the pool,” Mark says gently, reaching to grab Jeno’s hand to help him up when he swims closer. Jaemin’s shoving a towel into Mark’s hands once Jeno is out, and Mark drapes it around Jeno’s head, rubbing his hair softly. “Sit,” Mark prompts, giving Jeno a reassuring smile when he sits on the bench. 

Jeno can see Donghyuck and Jaemin whispering to each other, but he's too tired to try and eavesdrop. He closes his eyes, just focusing on the feeling of Mark rubbing over his head soothingly. Mark sits next to Jeno on the bench when he’s done, and Jeno rests his head Mark’s shoulder.

He doesn’t realize he’s dozed off until he wakes up to the three boys having a conversation quietly without him, picking up words like “ too stressed ” and “ team day ” from Jaemin and Mark. Donghyuck is surprisingly quiet, and Jeno doesn’t know why until he cracks open one eye to find the boy looking at him, concerned. He can’t have been asleep that long, not with how everyone’s barely moved from their positions when he last had his eyes open. He tamps down whatever he’s feeling over the way Donghyuck is looking at him, and shifts his gaze to Jaemin. 

“Up, up,” Jaemin finally says, pulling on Jeno’s hands. Jeno reluctantly stands up, ignoring the way Donghyuck is still staring at him. “Shower, get dressed, we’re going out.”

“Out?” Jeno asks, making his way to the locker room with the rest of his team when Jaemin pushes on his shoulder lightly. “But- practice?”

“Executive decision to cancel it,” Jaemin says matter-of-fact, pushing open the door and making his way to the shower. “Team bonding day is today. I say so,” he says over the sound of running water.

Jeno is too tired to actually protest, and a day off does sound nice, so he just gets in the shower like the rest of them. They’re out the door a half hour later, on the subway going towards the city center. Jeno doesn’t bother to ask what they’re doing, not totally convinced they’d tell him anyway. 

“Dog cafe?” Jeno asks when it becomes obvious it’s that they’re walking towards, sounding confused.

“Dog cafe!” Jaemin and Mark say in unison. Donghyuck has been surprisingly quiet the entire time- the entire day, really. Jeno doesn’t know what to make of that, coupled with the concerned looks Donghyuck kept sending him at the pool. 

They enter the cafe, and Jeno is immediately bombarded by dogs of different sizes. They all seem to be flocking to him and Donghyuck, despite the whines and protests of Mark and Jaemin. When the dogs don’t seem to want to pay attention to them, they go to order drinks, and Donghyuck and Jeno secure a table towards the far wall. A puppy who can’t be older than a year old tries to hop up into Jeno’s lap but can’t reach, so Jeno picks it up and pets behind its ears as it settles into his lap and promptly falls asleep.

Donghyuck’s looking at Jeno again, but this time like he’s thinking about something rather than just looking concerned. He’s snapped out of his thoughts when Mark and Jaemin make their way over with all their drinks, and Jaemin looks increasingly jealous the longer the puppy sleeps on Jeno’s lap. Jeno gives him a self satisfied smile, sipping his drink, and Jaemin mock glares at him.

They spend two hours in the cafe, just talking about anything but practice, just getting to relax and not have to think about the looming deadline that is Olympic trials. When they’ve exhausted their time at the cafe, they make their way to the park, not ready to end the day just yet. 

“Ice cream truck!” Donghyuck exclaims out of nowhere, and it’s the first time he’s really seemed excited about anything all day. Jeno smiles despite himself, following everyone to the truck. 

“Hyuckie, today was such a good idea,” Jaemin sighs out, when they’re spread out on the grass after ordering. He’s spread out like a starfish, Mark leaning against his side while eating his ice cream. “Thank you for thinking of it.”

Jeno can see the moment Donghyuck freezes, spoon from his ice cream halfway to his mouth. He watches Donghyuck swallow roughly, eyes flicking to Jeno quickly, and then back away. Jeno’s head tilts in confusion, wondering when this went from being Jaemin’s idea to Donghyuck’s, but says nothing. 

“Welcome, Jaem,” Donghyuck says finally. “We needed it,” he adds, eyes flicking back to Jeno, something tender in his gaze. It has something lighting up in Jeno, something Jeno doesn't want to acknowledge. Donghyuck finally finishes his ice cream, licking his lips, and Jeno swallows. Jeno can see the exact moment Jaemin realizes he spilled that this wasn’t his idea, and Jeno just wonders why Donghyuck wanted to hide it from him in the first place. 

“Thanks, Hyuck,” Jeno whispers, bumping his shoulder hesitantly with Donghyuck’s. It still felt a little weird, being able to do things like that with Donghyuck and not having to worry about Donghyuck yelling at him, but it was weird in a way Jeno didn’t mind in the slightest. 

“Course,” Donghyuck responds just as softly, bumping Jeno’s shoulder back with a tiny smile. He looked at ease, in the setting sun, rays of golden washing over him and making him glow. “You deserve it,” he says, even softer, so soft in fact that Jeno’s not sure if he was supposed to hear. It causes a warmth to spread throughout him regardless, and he catches himself smiling widely, trying to hide it in the crook of his palm. 

He was really grateful for his team, even if eight months ago he couldn’t even imagine them working this well. 

+

Jeno thinks he’s about to have a panic attack.

He can hear a faint murmur of Johnny talking to Mark off to the side, but he’s got his head between his knees, just trying to breathe. In fifteen minutes, he’s about to be competing for his life , for his entire career. He’s had a year to prepare for this, but somehow he feels like he was told just yesterday he would be competing to be an Olympian. He only has relays today, his and Donghyuck’s solo meets tomorrow, but he still feels like he can’t breathe. If he qualifies today, he’s going to the Olympics - with his whole team. If he doesn’t qualify today but qualifies tomorrow, Mark and Jaemin won’t be joining him, and maybe not even Donghyuck. Really, Jeno thinks this is too much pressure for him to reasonably handle. He can’t do this without them.

He nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels a hand on his shoulder a few seconds later. He looks up, up at Johnny who is looking down at him with a soft smile on his face. “Jeno,” he says simply, in a calm voice that never fails to make Jeno feel at ease. “Breathe,” he reminds, taking a seat next to Jeno on the bench. 

“Not gonna happen,” Jeno informs him, taking a shuddering breath in regardless. “What if we don’t qualify?” he blurts out, before Johnny can even ask what he’s panicking over. 

“You’ve all trained hard,” Johnny says simply, says it like he’s said the words a thousand times before to calm some other swimmer down. “You’ve worked harder than a lot of athletes I’ve trained before. You have this,” he reassures, patting Jeno’s back comfortingly. Jeno feels his breath come a little easier.

Before he knows it, he’s standing on the starting block, getting ready to swim the meet that decides the path of his career. He hears a soft swim hard, Jeno from behind him, from none other than Donghyuck. Jeno turns his head to give Donghyuck a small smile, and then the buzzer sounds, and he’s off. 

He swims his lap as hard as he can, hands slamming into the pool wall before he knows it, and then it’s up to the rest of his team. He gets up out of the pool, watching nervously as Mark seems to fall behind slightly, but not enough to put them out of the running yet. They still have Jaemin and Donghyuck- they can do this (Jeno hopes- Jeno prays). Jaemin dives in next, catching up to the swimmer in the far lane that seems to be in the lead, and Jeno feels his heart start to beat faster while Donghyuck gets ready to go next. 

Then, Donghyuck’s diving in, and it’s all over from there. There’s no match for Donghyuck, not by a long shot, and Jeno feels a laugh bubble up inside him at how proud he feels. They’re gonna win this- they’re gonna qualify. Jeno can sense when Mark and Jaemin realize it too, energy around them growing tenser despite the knowledge no one was a match for Donghyuck at this point. As the boy swims nearer, Jeno feels himself get more giddy, emotions swirling around inside him.

Donghyuck’s hitting the pool wall a second later, other swimmers following in suit, and Jeno watches as their time flashes across the screen, at the top of the roster. It doesn’t feel real- not yet, but Jeno celebrates regardless, wrapping up Mark in a hug. Donghyuck and Jaemin are joining in seconds later, the four of them almost falling over with how enthusiastic they are. 

They’re all looking to Johnny, then, smiling widely as they see his proud, proud smile, looking at them as if to say I told you so . Jeno laughs, then, loud and bright and full of unadulterated joy. He did it- they all did. After a year of working hard, they finally made it, and Jeno can barely process it all right now. 

He knows he still has to work hard, has other things to qualify for tomorrow, but he thinks now all that matters is that he has his team with him, and they’re going to the Olympics.

+

Before Jeno can even step off the plane, Jaemin is screeching about everything he’s going to go see. 

“We have practice, ” Jeno says, just maybe a little cranky. He just spent the past twelve hours on a flight surrounded by loud athletes he only knew a few of. Sue him . Donghyuck pats his hand softly, as if to placate him. 

“And I’ll be there!” Jaemin says, completely unfazed by Jeno’s mood. He’s rushing off with Mark seconds later, as soon as the plane doors open. It’s useless, Jeno thinks, they’re gonna be stuck waiting for him and Donghyuck anyway for the car. God, they still had to drive to the village with the rest of the swim team to get settled. Jeno wants to collapse on the floor like a toddler who didn’t get what they wanted. 

Jeno makes his way off the plane slowly, maybe to spite Jaemin, or maybe just because he’s tired, but Donghyuck matches his pace regardless. Jeno can see Johnny up ahead of him, waiting by the doors to make sure all of his team got off the plane (where else they’d go, Jeno doesn’t know, but Johnny was always overprotective like that). 

“We’re all sharing a suite, right?” Donghyuck asks Jeno, adjusting the straps of his backpack and stretching his arms over his head once they’re off the plane and heading towards the exit. He makes a soft noise as he stretches, and Jeno valiantly ignores it. 

“Yeah,” Jeno says, not really in the mood to talk but responding regardless. “Me and Mark in one room and you and Jaem in the other,” he says, because they figured this out weeks ago. 

“Mmm’kay,” Donghyuck hums out, then falls blissfully silent. Jeno can see Jaemin and Mark up ahead, Jaemin practically bouncing on his heels while waiting for them. Jeno loves Jaemin, he really does, but the thought of having to deal with all his- puppy energy right now seems like torture. He lets out a heavy sigh. 

“Jaem, chill,” Donghyuck says when they’re close enough, the boy giving Jaemin a cut it out look. Jeno thinks Donghyuck is an angel in that moment. Jaemin frowns, but settles down regardless, the four of them making their way towards where Johnny told them the car was going to pick them up. 

“I’m taking a nap before practice and if any one of you interrupt me I will throw your suitcases into the ocean,” Jeno deadpans, not looking at any of them as they wait on the curb. Donghyuck hums in acknowledgement, patting Jeno’s arm, and Jeno ignores Mark’s look of confusion. Jeno doesn’t know when Donghyuck got so touchy-feely with him, either. 

They get to the village easily, entire place bustling with athletes from different sports, different countries. Jeno can’t even appreciate the beauty of it all, not really, when he’s so dead set on just going to sleep. 

Jeno trudges to the suite with heavy limbs, suitcase dragging behind him. The rest of his team follows behind him, talking in soft voices, seemingly have gotten the memo that Jeno was just not in the mood . He wants to cry with how thankful he is. 

He unlocks the door with his keycard, holding it open so the rest of them could make their way in too, and pauses once he gets to the living room. The suite is huge , and it finally hits Jeno that he’s at the Olympics. 

“Holy shit,” they all say in unison, like they’re connected, staring at each other with wide eyes. 

“Guys… we’re at the Olympics,” Mark says, like he can’t believe it, bags still in hand. 

“We’re at the Olympics?” Jaemin echoes, voice lilting up at the end like he can’t believe it either. 

“Holy fuck, ” Jeno curses, letting out an incredulous laugh. He’s not tired anymore, not in the slightest. 

“What the hell,” Donghyuck breathes out, dropping his backpack in the entryway. 

“We’re Olympians ,” Jeno stresses, shucking off his backpack and resting it on top of his suitcase. He’s still in his national uniform -they all are- so everyone knows where they come from, who they’re competing for. He moves closer, taking Mark’s hand in his and Donghyuck’s in the other. The two seem to get the memo, grabbing Jaemin’s hands as they form a circle. 

“We made it,” Donghyuck says, giving Jeno the biggest smile he’s ever seen him wear. It reminds Jeno of the sun, warm and bright and comforting. Jeno feels his heart flutter, and he has to look away, lest he be burned by the sun itself. “Our whole lives of hard work and we actually made it .”

They’re quiet for a while, just holding hands and breathing in sync, taking in the idea of actually making it. Jaemin’s the first to break the moment, letting out a snort, and then a giggle. Mark follows in suit, and Jeno can’t help but laugh himself, too. 

“Jaem!” Donghyuck whines, trying his hardest not to give in and laugh as well. “You ruin everything!”

“I just-” a gasp, a movement to hunch over, another bout of laughter, “It’s so- It’s so sappy!” Jaemin finally gets out, letting go of Donghyuck’s hand to grip around his waist. 

Donghyuck whines again, still holding onto Jeno’s hand like he hasn't thought to let go. Jeno doesn’t know how that makes him feel. 

He knows they have practice later and he should sleep before it, but he’s just happy spending time with his team right now. He also knows that the next few days are going to be stressful, between practice and the opening ceremony and more practice , but Jeno’s ready. He’s never felt more ready for something in his life. 

+

The opening ceremony is nothing like Jeno thought it would be, but leagues better than he dreamed. 

He's surrounded by athletes, by people who get him like no other. They’re all decked out in their national uniforms, representing the countries they come from, the ones they’re trying to make proud. There's a hustle and bustle around him, a hum of different languages and multiple conversations going on whilst they wait for the walk out to start. 

Jeno’s heart is fluttering, beating rapidly behind his ribcage like it's trying to escape. He feels Mark grip his hand from where he’s been bouncing anxiously next to him for the past five minutes, spots Jaemin and Donghyuck whispering to each other a few feet in front of them. Jeno squeezes Mark’s hand gently, turns to look at him, gives him a soft smile. 

“D’you remember that time, when we were like 14?” Mark starts, voice quiet. Jeno feels a smile spread over his face, remembering the memory before Mark even finishes what he has to say. 

“Olympic pact?” Jeno asks, smile only growing when he looks over and sees the look on Mark’s face. 

“God, we thought we were being so stupid back then,” Mark says, letting out a laugh, head ducking in embarrassment. “We really thought it’d never happen and yet here we are.”

“Hey! I totally thought it would happen! You having no faith in us wounds me,” Jeno says, hand coming up to his chest in mock hurt. 

“Well, I had faith in you ,” Mark says honestly, giving Jeno a smile, one that has his eyes curving into crescents. Jeno hits him with his free hand, then, a soft slap on the shoulder.

“And I had faith in you! There was no way I’d ever go to the Olympics without you by my side,” Jeno says, rubbing over where he just hit Mark in apology. Mark looks like he’s going to cry, which honestly would be hilarious right before they’re going to be on TV , but then Jaemin and Donghyuck make their way over before that can actually happen. 

Everyone starts walking out then, and Jeno feels his heart rate spike again. This was really happening .

Jeno figures he could wax poetic about the beginnings of something huge, something life changing, life defining , but all his thoughts get thrown out the window the second he steps out into the stadium. There’s blinding lights, cheers from people in the stands, and so many cameras . Jeno wonders if his parents are watching from the stands, if they can see him with his team, if they’re as proud as Jeno feels right now. He grips Mark’s hand tighter, and feels another hand grasp his free one. 

Jeno looks over to find Donghyuck at his side, staring straight ahead like he didn’t just tilt Jeno’s world on its axis and then right it again, expecting Jeno to walk in a straight line. Donghyuck looks unfazed, holding onto Jaemin with his other hand, the four of them in a line while they walk the track. The cameras pan to them, then, and Donghyuck lights up like the sun. 

Later, Jeno will rewatch the tape, alone in the village while Mark is asleep. Later, Jeno will realize he didn't even notice the cameras on them in that moment. Later , Jeno will only remember looking at Donghyuck, at the way his face lit up, at the megawatt smile he wore for the entire world to see. 

Later, Jeno will realize the beginnings of something he’s powerless to stop (but that he doesn't think he wants to, anyway). 

+

They’re practicing, the night before the relay that decides if they win gold or not. They managed to secure time at the pool without anyone else to watch them, Johnny using his connections to get them in discreetly. 

What started with all four of them has quickly trickled down to just Jeno and Donghyuck, the two never quite able to stop practicing when everyone else did. It’s hardly real practice now, anyway, really needing the four of them to get solid work done at all. So, they’re just talking while lazily swimming back and forth. Jeno’s done this a lot with Mark, and he can only assume the same for Donghyuck and Jaemin, but they’ve never done this together. 

“You know, you’re not too bad, Jeno,” Donghyuck comments offhandedly, looking over to Jeno in the next lane. He gives Jeno a smile, one that drips confidence, and Jeno feels his heart stutter. Not the time, Jeno. “It’s annoying. I don’t like being wrong, you know,” Donghyuck adds, smile growing. 

“What, didn’t account for falling for your rival?” Jeno says with a cocky smile, staring at Donghyuck’s face in the low light of the pool building. They’ve stopped swimming now, just treading water in opposite lanes. Jeno ducks under one of the dividers, so he can be more face to face with Donghyuck. 

“Rival? Baby, we’re leagues apart,” Donghyuck responds with a smile of his own, drifting closer to Jeno in the water. He looks beautiful like this, hair slicked back and skin glistening with water droplets reflected by the moonlight. Jeno feels his breath catch, brain trying to process all that was Lee Donghyuck. Despite his earlier words, Jeno never accounted for falling for Donghyuck.

“How can we be leagues apart when you’re right here with me?” Jeno says after a beat, hoping Donghyuck doesn’t call him out on his momentary pause. Jeno isn’t sure if this is real or not, if they’re actually flirting or if this is just for fun. If any of this is real. He ignores the pang in his heart at the idea that this could just be some way for Donghyuck to mess with him, even if Jeno thinks he’d never do that now. 

“Didn’t take you for someone so cheesy, Lee Jeno,” Donghyuck says, head cocked to the side as if he was considering something. Jeno feels his heart rate pick up at that, never knowing what Donghyuck was thinking even on his best days. Donghyuck swims closer now, so they’re only a few inches apart, Jeno barely able to stop their legs from brushing against each other in the water. Donghyuck moves his hands to Jeno’s waist, thumbs rubbing absentmindedly over his sides. It feels like they're on the precipice of something- something neither of them will be able to take back. 

“You underestimate me, then,” Jeno replies, trying his hardest not to stutter, to remain as calm and collected as Donghyuck seems. He can’t break the facade that they’ve built up here, that everything is verging on a joke neither of them want to mention. Like a game of chicken, almost. Who will break first , Jeno thinks.

“Suppose I do,” Donghyuck says, looking at Jeno like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle. It’s ironic, the way the same thoughts Jeno is having right now are echoed on Donghyuck’s face. Donghyuck seems to move even closer then, seemingly finding whatever he was looking for on Jeno’s face. His thumbs pause their motions on his sides, one hand moving up to cup the back of Jeno’s neck, and Jeno’s breath hitches audibly. “Getting tired, yet?” Donghyuck whispers, soft smile making an appearance on his face. 

“Not if you aren’t,” Jeno replies just as soft, heart beating a mile a minute. They’ve been treading water for what has to be ten minutes now, and Jeno knows his legs are going to kill him tomorrow. There was always something different with treading water versus just swimming, and he can’t find it in him to care how he’ll regret it later, not currently. 

“Good,” Donghyuck responds, and then they’re kissing. 

It’s not like in the movies, where time slows down or fireworks explode behind Jeno’s eyelids. In reality, Jeno gasps, chest stuttering while Donghyuck’s grip on his neck tightens, and then he’s being pulled down, under the water. That’s the part that feels like a movie, kissing Donghyuck underwater. Their lips move together slowly, carefully, like neither of them have ever really kissed before. It’s surreal, how full Jeno feels of something- happiness, maybe. They float there for what feels like forever, but can only really be a minute with the way Jeno’s lungs start to burn. They resurface together, pulling away to suck in air desperately.

Jeno opens his eyes after he gets his breath back, taking in Donghyuck’s appearance. He can see a flush on the other boy’s cheeks, and his hair is slicked down onto his forehead. Jeno reaches out, hand brushing his hair back softly and he feels a smile spread over his face slowly. Donghyuck smiles in return, eyes still closed, breathing slowly. 

“We’re gonna win tomorrow, right?” Donghyuck asks after a few minutes of silence, finally reopening his eyes. It’s the first time he’s seemed vulnerable all night, like he’s not the confident Lee Donghyuck everyone thinks he is (but he is, Jeno thinks. Vulnerability doesn’t have to mean his confidence is negated). 

“Of course we are,” Jeno responds, trying to put as much conviction, as much reassurance into his words as he can. “There’s no way we can’t . We’ve worked hard for months to get this,” he adds.

“So has everyone else, love,” Donghyuck says, dropping the pet name so casually. He wraps his arms around Jeno’s neck, frowning slightly. Jeno doesn’t like that look on his face one bit.

“But we’re obviously the best. We have a Lee Donghyuck. No one else does,” Jeno says with a smile, trying to convince Donghyuck that they really did have this. 

“And we have a Lee Jeno,” Donghyuck says, smile finally making an appearance on his face again. He reaches up, hand pushing back Jeno’s hair like Jeno did for him earlier, pausing to pet through the strands absentmindedly. Jeno takes a minute to really study Donghyuck’s face close up while the attention is off looking at him, taking in the slope of his nose, the small spattering of freckles on his cheeks. He’s beautiful, well and truly, and Jeno doesn’t know how he could’ve ever went so long without acknowledging it. 

“We should get out, it’s late. Mark and Jaemin are probably wondering where we are by now,” Jeno says after another minute of comfortable silence, regretfully detaching himself from Donghyuck and making his way over to the edge of the pool when the other boy nods. He pushes up and out, smiling over at Donghyuck once they’re back on solid ground. “We really do got this, Hyuck,” Jeno says softly, reaching out for Donghyuck’s hand to squeeze. Donghyuck squeezes back, not letting go, and together they make their way back to the locker room to shower and get dressed.

If they don’t let go of each other’s hands all the way back to the Olympic Village, well, no one they pass calls them out. 

(“You did see them come in holding hands, right?” Mark whispers after a considerable pause, once Jeno and Donghyuck have gone to their respective rooms. 

“Of course I did. It's about time,” Jaemin whispers back, stretched out on the couch with his feet in Mark’s lap. “I was waiting for it after all the wah I hate Jeno so much, he’s so awful rants stopped.”

Mark giggles, hand wrapping around one of Jaemin’s ankles and rubbing softly. “They're both ridiculous,” he says, head lolling back to rest on the couch cushion. “You think they know we were here?”

“Not one bit,” Jaemin says, stretching out further like a cat in the sun. It's quiet and dark in the suite, TV long turned off, both of them just content to bask in the other’s presence. 

“Ridiculous,” Mark echoes, and then falls silent.)

+

Jeno wakes up the morning of the relay meet with a looming sense of dread washing over him. 

It feels so much worse than just trials, feels a little like Jeno’s world is about to end. Sure, he’s already won medals because of solos, which should be enough to boost his confidence into believing he’s got this. But as he lays in bed, staring at the ceiling before the sun is even peeking through the curtains of their room, he feels like this might be the beginning of the end. 

He gets up regardless, and frowns when he realizes Mark isn’t even in his bed across the room. He makes his way to the living room, stumbling upon Jaemin and Mark curled up together on the couch, Jaemin’s head tucked under Mark’s chin. He hears the door to the other room open, and then Donghyuck’s joining him, standing next to him as they look down on Mark and Jaemin. 

“What the hell,” Donghyuck whispers, breaking the silence finally. He’s still in his pajamas, hair sticking up at odd angles and eyes puffy from sleep. Jeno feels his heart flutter, and for once doesn’t try to deny his own feelings. “Did you know about this?”

“Not at all,” Jeno whispers back, squinting in the low light to find they’re even holding hands as they sleep. Disgusting . “I need coffee to deal with this.”

“Cafe by the square?” Donghyuck asks, looking over to Jeno with a soft smile. How Donghyuck knows it’s become Jeno’s favorite in the time they’ve been here, he doesn’t know, but he’s not complaining. 

“You’re paying, and I’m not changing,” Jeno declares, moving to go grab a hoodie to throw over his sleep shirt. He hears Donghyuck’s sputter of quiet protest, still trying to be careful so as not to disturb the sleeping boys. Donghyuck decides he absolutely needs to change, and Jeno stands by the door for fifteen minutes waiting for the boy. “We’re going to a cafe, not New York Fashion Week,” Jeno says in a normal volume, once they’re out of the suite. 

“Not my fault you don’t appreciate looking good,” Donghyuck says with a smile, reaching to grab Jeno’s hand, clasping their fingers together and swinging their hands as they walk. Jeno rolls his eyes at the insult, but stays quiet as they walk. He’s content to just bask in Donghyuck’s presence, thinking about last night as they go. It feels surreal, the longer Jeno thinks about it, and he starts to wonder if it even happened at all. 

Donghyuck doesn’t leave him wondering for long though, not with the way he leans over to kiss Jeno’s cheek when the boy holds open the door to the cafe for him, doing it as easily as he breathes. Jeno’s brain momentarily shuts down, and then he’s blushing fiercely as the barista looks at them curiously. 

Donghyuck gets their drinks while Jeno secures a table in the practically empty cafe (how Donghyuck knows his favorite drink here, too, Jeno really doesn’t know), and they sit in relative silence for the next while. It’s relaxing, just being able to calm down after a hectic few days, sitting across from the person he likes. Jeno makes a joke about Mark and Jaemin at some point, and Donghyuck smiles at him, shaking his head in fake exasperation. 

Donghyuck is still smiling at him hours later, when Johnny is giving them their final rundown, while the crowd drowns out the sounds of splashing water behind them, the commentators gearing up to start their report of the day. The buzzer sounds, alerting them that they only had a few minutes to prepare, and Johnny sends them off with a good luck, my golden boys.

They make their way to their starting block, the other teams doing the same, all of them lined up in a row. Jeno starts to zone out, focus narrowing down to himself, the pool, and the three people behind him. He’s swimming first, Mark and Jaemin in the middle, and Donghyuck at the end. It’s the best way they’ve found to get ahead, and no one wants to try any different, definitely not today.

Jeno steps up onto the starting block when the buzzer sounds again, getting into position. When the buzzer sounds one more time to signal for them to start, Jeno dives in, and then the rest of the meet is a blur. 

He knows he swam as fast as he could, heart pounding in his chest, but he didn’t bother trying to figure out if he was ahead or not. He’s hitting the pool wall before he knows it, Mark diving in after him, and then he’s up and out of the pool, watching as Mark completes his lap. He doesn’t pay attention again until Donghyuck is diving in, starting to get antsy. He’s nervous, heartbeat caught in his throat, and he doesn’t realize he’s yelling along with Mark and Jaemin for Donghyuck to go faster, faster, faster until Donghyuck’s hitting the pool wall, coming up for air. 

Jeno doesn’t realize they’ve won, until Mark and Jaemin are screaming in his ears, shaking him as he stares shell-shocked down at Donghyuck.

“What? What? ” Jeno manages to ask, turning to where Mark is jumping up and down in excitement. His body feels like it’s delayed, reaction just seconds later than everyone else, and then he’s being slammed with the reality that they just won gold. Donghyuck emerges from the pool, and Jeno rushes over to him, wrapping him up in the tightest hug he can manage. Mark and Jaemin join in, and then they’re just laughing into each other’s ears, whispering curses of astonishment. 

Jeno can’t believe it. Everything they worked for, everything they’d been through was all worth it. Johnny’s rushing over then, too, biggest smile Jeno’s ever seen on his face. 

The rest of the time goes by in a blur, the medal ceremony a mere blip on Jeno’s radar. He can’t stop smiling , has to be constantly touching one of his other teammates to make sure this was really real.  He meets with his parents, introduces them to Jaemin and Donghyuck, meets their parents, and accepts the hugs and kisses from everyone around him. They give interviews (and later, Jeno will cringe at what he’s said, at how cheesy , but for now he just focuses on how he feels), they take pictures for the papers, and Jeno thinks he’s never been this happy in his entire life.

Later, much later, once the hype has (somewhat) died down and they’re back from a celebratory dinner they had with Johnny, Donghyuck and Jeno are left to their own devices. Mark and Jaemin have gone to do whatever , leaving Donghyuck and Jeno alone in the suite.

“Jen?” Donghyuck says into the empty air, reruns of their meet earlier playing on the TV. They’re not watching it, not really, but the Olympic channels are the only ones that’ll play on their TV at this time of night. 

Jeno hums in acknowledgement, blinking lazily over to Donghyuck. He looks beautiful, like he always does, but this time Jeno sees him in a new light. A light tinted with victory , with satisfaction. With admiration he can’t deny any longer. 

“When we go back home… what’s gonna happen to us?” Donghyuck asks softly, so soft Jeno isn’t even sure if he heard correctly. He doesn’t look at Jeno, continues to stare straight ahead like he didn’t say anything at all. Jeno’s heart stutters in his chest, at the possibility of Donghyuck maybe not wanting anything to do with him after this. 

“I’d… I’d like to see where this goes,” Jeno responds just as soft, not wanting to break the fragile moment that’d fallen around them in the past few minutes. Jeno can feel Donghyuck take a deep breath next to him, and then he’s reaching over, grabbing Jeno’s hand like he’s never done it before. It’s hesitant, a calculated move, and Jeno tries to put a stop to the no doubt swirling thoughts going on inside Donghyuck’s head by interlocking their fingers. Donghyuck lets out his breath slowly, like that was all he needed from Jeno. 

“Okay,” Donghyuck responds, finally looking over to Jeno in the low light and giving him a smile. It’s not his usual, blinding smile Jeno has grown used to, or the mocking smile he once wore to piss Jeno off. It’s a softer one, one full of tenderness and care, one that seems reserved just for Jeno in that moment. “Okay,” he repeats.

Jeno can’t think to do anything else but kiss him, then.

It’s soft, gentle, not at all like their first kiss in the pool yesterday. There’s no real motive behind it, just Jeno wanting to be close to Donghyuck in every way he could. Donghyuck makes a soft, surprised noise, but kisses Jeno back after a second, melting into it. Jeno doesn’t know how long they spend trading lazy kisses on the couch, but Jeno does know one thing:

He wouldn’t trade today for the world. 

+

They’re on the plane home, everyone leagues more quiet than when they were arriving to the Olympics. The vibe of exhausted athletes is in the air, soft murmuring and even softer snores ringing out. 

Jeno can’t sleep like everyone else. 

He’s been staring out the window since they took off six hours ago, Donghyuck’s hand securely in his. Donghyuck had fallen asleep a half hour into the twelve hour flight, and had shifted so his head was pillowed by Jeno’s shoulder somewhere around hour two. Jeno’s been careful to keep his breathing even since then, so as not to disturb the boy. 

There's too many thoughts in his head, swirling around like a winter storm in the middle of the night. Thoughts of winning, thoughts of deserve and worthiness - thoughts of love. 

He wonders if he deserves- if he's worthy of Donghyuck. He doesn't know if he loves him yet, but the small pitter-patter of his heart every time Donghyuck smiles at him is telling. He doesn't know how his parents will react when he tells them, if they’ll be happy for him. He doesn't know if they already know, if they can tell just by the way Jeno looks at Donghyuck. He doesn't know a lot of things, but he does know that Donghyuck has quickly become one of the most important people in Jeno’s life. 

Jeno wants to laugh, with how ironic that statement is. Rivals turned lovers, something for the history books. 

Donghyuck snuffles in his sleep, then hums. “Sleep,” he mumbles to Jeno, cracking an eye open to look up at the boy. Jeno feels his heart swell, feels something well up inside him so intensely it feels like it's going to burst. “Babe, go to sleep,” Donghyuck mumbles again. 

“Alright,” Jeno whispers, squeezing Donghyuck’s hand and getting as comfortable as he can in the plane seat. Donghyuck makes a hum of satisfaction, cuddling closer to Jeno, then down into the hoodie Jeno had lent him when he said he was cold earlier in the day. Jaemin had rolled his eyes, like he wasn't wearing Mark’s hoodie, Mark looking puffed up and proud every time he looked at Jaemin. 

Jeno closes his eyes, letting out a sigh as he finally allows himself to relax after it all, to calm down. 

And with his thoughts quieted once and for all, Jeno sleeps.