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Chapter Text

Shiro woke up on his back with his new Altean arm disengaged, and Allura kneeling at his side blocking out the sunlight, grasping the crystal that had once been in her crown.

None of this made any sense, of course. The last he remembered, Allura was still in the infirmary. Everyone had been.

"What…?" His voice cracked as the last wisps of a distant dream quickly faded.

"What's the last thing you remember Shiro?" She demanded. He furrowed his brow, trying to assess his current situation before he answered. Allura was on one side of him and a downed banquet table on the other. He was wearing an off white tailored suit with a black bow tie. There was a ring on his left hand. Something that had definitely not been on him last night when he fell asleep. He was quickly drawing conclusions that he really didn't want to acknowledge.

"You were in the infirmary. Hunk woke up yesterday. I fell asleep next to Keith bed… he was still in a coma." Shiro heard a couple of distant gasps as Allura audibly gulped then looked behind her. Shiro tried to get up one handed but Allura put a placating hand on his shoulder. Not demanding he stay down, but asking.

"How long has it been?" Allura asked.

"For you, it's been nearly two years, since Hunk woke up… Almost three." He could hear Pidge answer.

Three. Three years. Three more years… Just gone... with another name to his face.

"And the Atlas, where is she?"

"She was docked up at the Coalition Alien Reception Station, but I'm pretty sure the Lions are currently dragging her back down." Allura glanced over the table then up at the sky beyond. The speaker was a voice vaguely familiar to him but couldn't place it.

"So they are. Good. I just finally escaped her blockade on this reality. I just needed one moment of her distraction to pull through to Lance's homing beacon. Looks like I interrupted her wedding so shes likely to be very cross." Shiro could hear a couple of strangled coughs and a few thumps and what sounded like chairs getting bumped around.

"Sorry?" That same voice from before… it had been one of the bridge crew.

"I'm sorry Curtis," Oh right, one of the communication officers. "But you were getting married to a sentient ship who took what was not hers to take." Shiro exhaled harshly, feeling like his gut had just been punched. He had guessed as much, but to hear it… He quickly tried to get the ring off with his thumb, his mouth set in a firm line.

Karma.

He had taken a body, not his own and made it his own. Another had done the same to him.

Nearly a year gone to the clone… now nearly three to a ship. He supposed he should be grateful that this time it seemed that no time had passed for him, where as in Black, it had been an eternity. He was becoming something else, something not human, only to get sucked out of infinity and crammed into a flesh chassis he hadn't been born with. He didn't have to re-learn what it was to be human this time and he could only imagine the consequences he'd have to pay for that mercy.

He couldn't get the ring off one handed. Allura was looking down at him again.

"You want that off?" She asked gently. He nodded, everything catching up to him all at once.

"I'm tired." He could admit that to her.

"I know. Me too." She grabbed his hand and shimmied the ring off for him and tossed it over the table. It pinged off the floor a couple times, not having been caught by whoever she had thrown it to. She grabbed his arm, his flesh arm, and hauled him up. His legs nearly immediately gave out on him.

"Keith a little help?" Allura asked.

Shiro had personally been on the other end of Alluras strength. She had thrown him nearly a hundred meters into an escape pod, she didn't need any help carrying him. Still, Keith was awake, the image of him going into surgery covered in blood was still acutely seared into his brain. He couldn't help but be grateful she had called for him.

Though she was still keeping her other hand far away from him, still firmly grasping the crystal from her crown that had been in his arm, it would definitely be more comfortable getting dragged by two people rather than one.

He looked on the other side of the table where a man in matching attire stood, face full of agony.

"I can't apologize for her, but I am sorry for you." Was all he could manage to croak out before the other man stricken with tears, wearing a matching ring turned his back and screamed in rage and mourning. He ran off, several of those near him going after him. How long had they been together, what had they done, did he really want to know?

No, he didn't want to know. Consent was a cluster fuck when it came to this body.

He'd come to terms with what had been done to him during the arena within Black with Black. He'd come to terms with being cloned on Black with Keith. He'd come to terms that no one noticed the difference on Red with Lance. He'd come to terms with his clone having been possessed by Haggar on Yellow with Hunk. He'd come to terms that Keith had wanted him back so badly that he hadn't questioned his return when Black found his clone on Blue with Allura. He'd come to terms that Keith had wanted him back so badly that he hadn't, nor had anyone else, really checked to see if his clone was really brain dead on Green with Katie.

Was this really that different. Second verse same as the first, just… Longer? No, this was different. But he had the tools to work through it all, given time.

Shiro shook himself out of his musings and looked behind Allura to Blue staring over the gathering of humans, his prosthetic firmly, but delicately held between Blue's jaws. Between Blue and Allura stood a great many people, only some of who he knew well. Iverson and Slav looked shell-shocked. The latter was rather amusing. The Holts had tears… actually his entire team had tear tracked faces. Pidge curled up under Hunks chin, and when did they get so old? Lance… had Altean marks on his cheeks. That was new.

Before he could analyze anything else he felt an overwhelming sense of contentment.

His constant. Home. The one he had struggled to accept was willing to cross the universe for him, willing to die with him, willing to kill for him. He had struggled until he realized that Keith would have done that for any of their space family, even Lance. Shiro came to terms with that after Keith had returned from one of the camps with Hunk and the MFE's.

Keith had come a long way since questioning rescuing Allura. He'd grown up so much. Shiro had begun to accept the devotion Keith had for him, for all of them, began to embrace it even. And then he'd nearly lost all of them.

Overwhelming contentment became physical touch as his mind centered back on the current moment.

Keith had his left hand on Shiros left hip and his right hand on his right ribs. Keith hauled him up. Shiro looked over to him, his hair longer, his attire strange but far better than the hospital gown he'd last seen him in.

"You're awake." He couldn't help saying it. The last time he'd seen Keith the doctors didn't know if he'd ever wake up.

"Yeah" Keith replied with a tentative smile on his lips.

"It's good to have you back." Another couple of tears fell from Keith's eyes over a well worn track of salt. Keith laughed at him but it sounded more like a sob.

"It's good to be back." And that tentative smile grew more sincere.

The Black Lion roared in the distance and Shiro closed his eyes passing out knowing he was safe.

Chapter Text

Shiro woke up again feeling like his entire body was hopped up on Novocaine and covered in lead. He couldn't even open his eyes.

Sleep Paralysis then.

Hardly a first for him, but it was never fun. The only thing he could do at the moment was listen, so listen he did.

Heart beat monitor. Two… No, three separate breathing cycles, one of which was his own. People walking quietly in the hallway and some indistinct conversations in rooms nearby.

Shiro focused on the breathing, separating out the other two from his own, wondering at who they were. Who was it likely to be, how long had it been since he had passed out.

The heart beat monitor missed a beat as panic spread through him. How long now, how much time.

"Shiro! Shiro hey it's okay. It's been a day, the doctors wanted to make sure everything was removed that could have connected you to Atlas before they let you wake back up… There were a couple complications that required them to paralyze you. It should wear off within the next hour or so... Kosmo."

The panic was only mildly subdued by Colleens explanation.

Years of PTSD and he still sucked at managing the panic. The flashbacks he could manage once he was out of them… But the panic, if he had enough wherewithal he could push it off, but it would come eventually, and it would be worse.

He heard Kosmo then as ozone permeated the air.

"What is it?" Keith demanded.

"He's awake but still paralyzed."

"Shit, okay… Can you…"

"I'll go get one of the doctors"

"Thanks Colleen."

Shiro heard the door open then close. And heard more than felt Keith's hand in his hair. The heartbeat monitor sounded a bit more normal now though the fear that started it up was far from gone, Colleens explanation aside.

"You passed out 23 hours ago. Allura was hellbent on getting anything that had any remote chance of connecting you to the Atlas removed so that she wouldn't have the ability to retaliate. Allura has been fighting to get past the barriers Atlas set in place around our reality after the end of things. Though i suppose you don't know what any of that means." Keith sighed.

"Black… She would like to talk with you, but understands if you don't want anything near your brain after all this, but the offer is there, you just have to reach for her."

And all at once, in that moment, it was the only thing Shiro wanted. Atlas had been a relief. He had missed Black fiercely after he'd been revived, missed the feeling of not being alone. Atlas had been more of a newborn rather than an ancient being, she had been learning, but Atlas had ranged from a cool breeze to a freezing thunderstorm. Black though,  Black had always been warm, even in death when there should have been no temperature, he'd still been warm in her mental embrace.

So he didn't think about the implications of it. He'd already lost so much time. The panic had him on edge, so he searched for the only relief he had known to be foolproof.

Shiro reached.

He could feel the tears fall down from the corners of his eyes as she welcomed him. She roared in the distance once more.

Black… Oh Black.

The panic faded slowly as her warmth filled his mind, caressed his soul. He'd missed her so much.

He fell back to sleep in sweet release as Black told him what had happened since he'd been sleeping until the time the Lions left to get Allura back. It was a lot to swallow.

The next time Shiro woke up, he could move. He opened his eyes to darkness and the panic that started back up threatened to choke him. How long had it been?

Two Vargas my Paladin.

Shiro sobbed, clawing one handed at his sheets only to find a body next to him. He nearly cried out in fear when Black nudged gently,

Keith

"Shhhshhh it's okay Shiro, it's okay. Takashi it's okay." His name jolted his mind enough to focus back on the current moment. This was like the journey back to earth all over again, before he'd visited the others, when he'd still been recovering in Black. Keith hardly ever used his name, so it never ceased to jolt him out of his own thoughts when he did.

"Keith?"

"Yeah, it's me." Keith was on his side, barely fitting on the bed frame hugging Shiro to him who was still on his back. Shiro wanted to hug him back properly but he only had one arm, not even a stump left of the other. He wanted to turn over and hold him, but there were still a lot of wires attached to him. Shiro settled on just grabbing at Keith's hand curled over his side, hoping he'd get the idea. When he didn't, Shiro spoke,

"Hand." Keith snorted as he lifted his hand from Shiro's ribs to place it in Shiro's hand. He gripped Keith's hand tightly, probably too tight really, but he wanted.

Shiro nuzzled his face into Keith's chest as his other hand stroked his hair, soothingly brushing it through his fingers. It couldn't have been a comfortable position, but Shiro was hardly going to point it out.

It took him a few minutes to calm back down. Once his heart beat evened out Keith spoke,

"Black caught you up then?" Shiro hummed at him.

"Until they left anyway and what they found on the other side. I'm gathering a lot happened after that on this side though."

"To say the least." Shiro knew now that not even the Lions had suspected anything of him. Atlas really had done her best to be him while he slept. They only realized the difference from another reality when another Atlas lost her connection to her own Shiro and her grip on the barrier to keep the rift entities out broke.

Shiro took a deep breath. Lost time was such a great commodity, he didn't want to loose any more of it than he had to.

"Keith, I was going to tell you when you woke up..." He paused wondering… Wondering just how much of himself Atlas had taken, "I said I wanted to talk to you after the battle. Did we?"

"No." He said it succinctly. Enough for Shiro to wonder all the more.

"How long after Hunk woke up did you?" He delayed.

"A couple of weeks. Once mom and Kolivan got here, she had them change some stuff up, I woke up about a day after apparently. Earth medicine just made Allura sleepy, but it kept me in a coma. Just glad I hadn't needed any hospital stays before leaving earth. It wouldn't have gone well for me I guess."

More mercies.

Keith wiggled down so he could match Shiro's eye line. His face glowed from the heart monitor and a few strands of moonlight coming through the blinds. It had been so long for Keith. Shiro didn't have a right to think it, then again he'd never had that right really… But the boy he had met so long ago  had become a beautiful man. Ethereal, intense, everything. He couldn't for the life… Or death… Of himself place when things had changed, but it was likely moot at this point. Maybe not though. Keith was at his side in the middle of the night after all.

It had been a while since Shiro had the opportunity to look Keith in the eye for more than a few moments. He took the time now offered like a dehydrated man sipping on warm electrolyte water. They were like that for a while, long enough for the moonlight to fade beyond the horizon before the sun rose leaving them in further darkness.

"Did you still want to have that conversation." Keith asked, having more guts than Shiro did at the moment.

"Is it too late to have it?" He hedged. Three years… He still had no idea where they were at, what had been done.

"Hardly." Still Shiro hesitated.

The Galran word he used translates to many things. The clone heard brother, but that's not all that he meant… you know this.

And yes, Shiro remembered both as the clone and as he had heard it from the echo between the two in Black as they fought. He didn't even know if Keith knew how it had translated.

Every moment meant everything now though. So he spit it out, what he was going to tell Keith when he woke up from his coma.

"I love you too." Even in the moonless darkness of predawn Shiro could see and feel Keith as his face cracked and his back bowed. He gasped as his eyes glowed and felt claws on his scalp and on his hand. Keith coughed and slammed his eye lids shut as he curled in on Shiro throwing a leg over his waist, quaking around him, entrapping him.

"Mine." He growled, visceral and possessive, just this side of uncomfortable.

"Only if you're only mine too." Keith whined… quietly keened was a better description for it.

"Yours." Keith stated

"Yours." Shiro repeated

Three years late for Keith perhaps. But Shiro could admit, he was feeling extremely selfish at the moment. He was selfish in general… Kerberos over Adam. Survival over the lives of innocents. Wanting Keith to lead when he wasn't ready. Taking Black back with relief as Keith left. Distance from him over facing him in the aftermath. Lotor over the team. Sam over Lotor. Distance from Black after getting sucked out of her embrace. Atlas over being alone.

None of these had ended well for him or his clone, maybe this wouldn't either,  but if Keith was offering, he was sure as hell gonna take… Because he wanted. And now, perhaps… He had.

At what cost though… Always at what cost. It seemed to be getting higher every time.

Keith's shaking lessened ever so slowly. His breathing eventually evening out.  His claws receding and his eyes finally opening, human, to the dawn.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Keith coughed, "Sorry… That was… A lot sooner and far more violent than I thought it would be."

"And what exactly was that?" The door opened then and a nurse walked in, Krolia following behind her. Keith quickly got off the bed as the nurse side eyed the both of them.

"Shiro, that was my son's quintessence realigning itself back to you. I hope you aren't planning on backing out of whatever the hell you just said, because it would probably kill you both." Shiro felt his eye brows raise despite himself. As Kolivan walked in with what smelled like coffee and handed a cup to Krolia.

"It would only occur that quickly if it was mutual so I doubt they have anything to worry about."

"Shush I'm attempting a reverse ritual shovel talk… The last one got twisted into gradual distancing." Shiro winced… Yeah that one was on him, especially after Axca showed up.

"It wasn't intended as such."

"Team bonding and dealing with other shit. I remember. I wasn't talking about that one." Shiro looked at her in confusion.

"So what, this is number three?"

"No, that one was a shovel talk. Then I had a reverse shovel talk that you were apparently not present for so I am reiterating it. Do not fuck this up."

"Mom." Keith said it, almost a warning.

"You have been sick for the past year and a half. Do not 'Mom' me right now. Are we clear Takashi Shirogane?" Sick? What did she mean,

"Sick?"

"Are. We. Clear?" Krolia reiterated, entirely serious. Beyond serious actually.

"Yes ma'am." He nodded.

"Good."

"Makes sense though why the gradual distancing didn't change much now though." Kolivan unhelpfully added.

"That is besides the point." Krolia growled. Shiro thought that Krolia could certainly give Colleen a run for her money on resident scary mother.

"Anyone going to explain any of that?" Shiro asked.

"After you've physically recovered perhaps. What just occurred will likely speed things up for you." Kolivan sipped his coffee loudly.

"You guys like coffee?"

"Yes, but they like it plain, not doused in sugar like you do." Keith teased him, which was completely uncalled for.

"I do not." He replied somewhat affronted.

"Yeah you drink it plain, but you hate it plain, they like it plain. There's a difference." Shiro was about to ask what that difference was when a doctor walked in as the nurse walked out. It was his old doctor. Dr. Fraiser, the doctor who had seen him through from the very beginning.

"If you three are quite done I'd like to speak with my patient in privacy." Keith made to leave but stopped misstep. Krolia opened her mouth, but Shiro shot out his left hand and grabbed the back of Keith's shirt and pulled him back to the bed making him yelp. Kolivan raised an eyebrow amused and Krolia shut her mouth, nodded once then walked out with Kolivan trailing after her.

"Keith can stay." Dr. Fraiser snorted.

"A lot has happened for you in the last three years. Are you sure about that."

"Positive."

"Alright, the initial accelerated clone cellular decay stopped once Allura provided the crystal to your prosthetic, you remember that?"

"Yeah."

"Well it's started back up. Timer is back at about four years." Keith griped his shoulder, in comfort.

Ah there… That was the cost.

"The Olkari and the Taujeerians have some tech that might be able to help with that. The quicker we get on that the better." Dr. Fraiser eyed Keith, a spark of interest in her eyes

"Can you get that in order?"  Keith looked at Shiro,

"Would you be okay with me looking into that?" Like he had to ask permission.

"Yeah, of course."

"Okay." His doctor continued.

"I could never accurately track any of your caloric intake or gym time, I'm guessing that you may have been maintained by the crystal more than anything given the actual state of your digestive system which is to say… I'm pretty sure it was frozen except when needed. You were severely dehydrated when you were brought in but we have you back up to acceptable levels and anything Galran or Altean has been removed from your body aside from the Galran DNA that we really can't extract or replace. You will be on ice chips until your first bowel movement before we start you back on any liquids."

"Huh." That was not expected.

"Atlas did eat and drink." Keith stated

"Yes, I'm assuming only when required or in social situations, but not regularly from the looks of it… And definitely not anything healthy. I have to admit I probably should have noticed the disparity between biochemical blood levels and actual appearance. To be honest I just assumed it was one of those space magic things that we've yet to be able to qualitatively, let alone quantitatively evaluate.

"Huh." That was… What had she been eating?

"We did a standard run on your blood. You're clean."

"Good to know."

"Hmm. Your shoulder is healing up nicely and you should be ready to go in a couple of days pending no further complications."

"And lastly, I don't know at what point Atlas took over. Were you here for the results of your physical."

"Yeah, I remember that one." She smiled. It had solidified the need to talk to Keith after he woke up. His clone hadn't had his disease, so neither did he.

"Good, don't need to go over that again then."

"No." She nodded.

"Meanwhile Keith… You look a hell of a lot better than you did last time you checked in."

"Thanks… More uh, more of that magic stuff."

"Right, I heard the Daibazaal representative saying something about Shiro's levels likely improving faster. Would that have anything to do with it?"

"It would be best to double check." He was definitely going to need to get that explanation sooner rather than later.

"Shiro any questions right now?" That... was loaded, and probably couldn't be answered by her anyway.

"I have a lot… But… not right now. Thank you Dr. Fraiser." She looked at him, concern clear on her face.

"I'll be here if you think of anything."

"Thanks." Was all he could really manage at the moment. That hadn't exactly told him what he had been looking for, but maybe there was nothing to say.

"I'll send someone in to get a few more blood samples to redo some of those tests to see if they come back any different." He met her eyes this time

"Thanks." Dr. Fraiser placed a hand on his left arm.

"Dr. Lam is still here, if you'd like to talk to her. I can set something set up." Shiro exhaled shortly he needed to know more before he had anything to actually work through.

"Maybe in a couple days."

"Alright." The doctor left and Shiro could feel the cold seeping in. He reached out for Black again and sunk into her warm embrace.

"Keith." He gulped, uncertainty settling back in. Keith crawled back on the bed, embracing him again, nuzzling into where his arm should have been.

"You're going to be okay right?"

"Yeah, I'm not sick anymore, promise."

"Why were you sick in the first place?" Keith sighed,

"It's complicated, but… Imagine you hand someone an apple,  and they take it with one hand and push it back at you with the other hand. You'd get confused right?"

"Yeah."

"Well Galra, whether through familial bonds or romantic bonds, share quintessence with each other. And my quintessence was really confused when you were both subconsciously accepting but consciously rejecting anything to do with me." The Atlas… He and the Atlas had been making Keith sick.  No wonder Krolia was so… Adamant.

"Did Atlas know?"

"I think so, probably why I was kept at a distance and only invited to the wedding as a political delegate rather than as a friend, estranged or not." Shiro sighed and turned his head to cover Keith's head with his chin and whispered,

"I love you." Keith shivered this time, nothing like the last. But he moved his head back from his side out from under his chin and looked him back in the eye.

Desire for desire.

"I'll love you always." Keith replied. Shiro gasped as warmth burst through Shiro's veins, completely different from Black, physical compared to mental.

They both leaned in, both kept it chaste, dry lips on dry lips. They stayed there, pressed against each other but not moving until they heard a nurse clearing his throat.

They pulled apart both smiling, keeping quiet as the nurse took more blood.

When the nurse left they turned back to each other returning to the barest of pressure between the two of them. Keith murmured mouth to mouth the mirror of their conversation from just over a day ago.

"It's good to have you back Shiro." This time Shiro laughed at Keith and replied

"It's good to be back."

Chapter Text

They remained molded to each other for a while yet longer before Keith pulled away if only slightly. Shiro wanted to protest but he heard footsteps nearing his room out in the hallway.

Familiar footsteps. Keith and Shiro smiled in unison.

"Anyone home? Everyone decent?" Keith snorted.

"Yes Lance, no need to hide your eyes." Shiro smirked at the phrasing and watched the door as the castle gang filed in, one by one. Something settled in Shiro then that had been hanging loose ever since the Lions fell from the sky.

"Three years late aside, It's good to see everyone out of your hospital beds. I'm glad you are all okay." That seemed to loose them all from their gathering at the end of his bed. Pidge jumped on him, somehow fitting between his left arm and his side. Lance and Allura came around to his left side and Hunk and Coran came over behind Keith on his right.

The bed bound group hug was awkward and strange and it felt like belonging… Something he'd been missing... probably from his death onward. The clone had never really felt settled enough to feel like he belonged with them, just that he needed to be with them… Most of them. Within Black he had felt like a part of her, but not like he belonged within her. After coming back to life he'd not had enough time to fit back in. He'd been as much looking forward to that year and a half trek back to earth as dreading it. When it had been cut short… When they'd had to immediately get back into things when the reached earth... he'd been adrift.

But not now.

Shiro settled in at the center of them, until another jumped right on Pidge and Keith making them both groan

"Hey buddy."

"Hey Matt." Shiro wheezed, which was enough to get everyone moving. Matt had to roll off over the bed rail after Lance and Allura had moved. Pidge tried to get up but was rather too tightly packed to move. Hunk managed to pick her up while Matt righted himself.

"Sorry, didn't realize there was another layer in there." Keith snorted not even trying to move. "Holy Shit Ghost boy looks human again!"

"Ghost boy?" Shiro asked, still getting his wind back.

"Oh yeah, Sir Dies a lot, your boyfriend was on death row not too long ago."

"Sorry?" Shiro spluttered,

"Wait Boyfriend?" Lance interjected

"That was quick." Coran noted

"Everyone owes me money." Pidge stated

"Those bets died in a dumpster fire a year ago." Hunk replied

"That is all completely Irrelevant." Allura decided.

"That uh… Quintessence..." Keith started to explain before Shiro picked up on it… Keith hadn't just been sick.

"It was killing you!?" Keith lowered his eyes.

"Eventually."

"Why couldn't you just…"

"Sir saves a lot apparently stapled your spirit to your body with a Keith brand quintessence staple when you tried to flat line on him again out in BFE rift land. At least that's how Space Mom explained it. Not in those words. Here, peace offering, have some coffee." The doctor had said nothing but ice chips… but… coffee.

"Please don't call my mother that, and it was unintentional."

"No that was quite intentional Keith... you just didn't know that you had done anything, and pointing it out seemed a bit redundant at the time." Allura mentioned.

Shiro sipped his coffee and promptly gagged and spit what he'd tried to drink back in the cup.

"I'd like some Coffee with my sugar please. What the hell is this?" Shiro asked Matt, feeling betrayed. Matt of all people knew he took coffee plain.

"That was experiment A… Atlas liked sugar… a lot. What you are gagging at is how Atlas took coffee."

"I like sugar but that's disgusting." Keith sat up and swapped the cup of coffee flavored sugar with another cup Coran held. Ah! Ice chips.

"What is BFE?" Coran asked, dumping the sugar sludge in a nearby waste basket.

"Don't ask Coran," Shiro advised coming back to the matter at hand. "Soooo why not just take the staple out?" Shiro pressed as he tipped the cup back to his mouth to shake a couple ice chips out to chomp on.

"By the time we spoke on the Blue Lion you had already accepted the foreign quintessence as a part of your own. There's no giving that back." Allura answered him and Shiro sighed as Keith seemed to shrink away, wanting to move and stay at the same time. Shiro felt a mental nudge trying to calm his distress.

Keith offered his quintessence, together we made use of it. I would not see you die again so quickly my Paladin.

"Black… It was Keith's quintessence but Black did the stapling, and she was gone while you were sick."

We did not expect to be gone for so long.

"She had been protecting you from it before they left, and then they got stuck on the other side."

I know.

Shiro did a double take because he'd heard Keith, but Keith hadn't spoken. He reached beyond Black, like he once had within her to see beyond into the land of the living.

Keith?

Keith smiled shyly. His tense stance slowly starting to relax.

"Yeah that's still there."

You and Zarcon once fought, he for control and you for my trust. I trust you. I've come to trust Keith.

Shiro remembered an echo in the Clones mind, an echo of what Keith had been saying as he left, but far more melancholy. He hadn't heard it after that.

And Black hadn't... she hadn't... why now.

You were acclimating to being corporeal with a very thin tether. You never reached back for me. I… Had assumed Atlas had taken my place as Keith kept your place with me.

"What's happening?"

I never had the time for her to take your place.

"He and Black are talking."

I know that now. I never would have assumed a cub could have the mind or knowledge to take on your presence."

"Wait… With like, words?"

"How?"

That, I still don't get how though.

"They had a lot of time to figure out how to communicate after Zarcon."

I believe the Princess will explain that in terms you will understand.

"Why… Why did the Atlas…" Shiro fell back into the moment and pierced Allura with a desperate look. The panic rising again at how much time he'd lost.

"From what we could gather from her, you wanted rest, you wanted all of us safe, healed, and awake. She wanted to give you that until we were all awake."

"Are we really still calling her a her now though?" Pidge asked.

"It won't really matter soon enough. Atlas's being decommissioned. No one will trust a ship that stole three years from her first and now last captain."

"But you all woke up." Shiro stated, if passing time had been her goal, fine…. Bad, but fine… that didn't make three years.

"By then you'd already apparently created a dreamworld to reside in, you needed one to sleep in rather than have no function at all or you would have begun to die, crystal or no. Once Keith had woken up you were already… You were happy, and she'd begun to enjoy not just flying, but commanding. She began to understand human things in human ways and when the War ended, pursued human pursuits."

"I don't remember any dream."

"Dream worlds are never concrete. She let you create your own, she didn't construct it for you, it was fallible and broken."

"I don't remember any of it."

"Better to mourn lost time than to to mourn what wasn't real." A new voice came from the doorway. Something flew at him but he was still holding his ice chip cup. Coran caught it on it's way, whatever it was, towards Shiro's face.

Coran placed a set of keys on Shiro's side table.

"That's... "

"… fair. Yeah I know. I'm currently living the other side of that." Curtis clenched his jaw leaning out of the doorway looking in the direction of the exit. Then looked back in the room at the blinds as if they were open.

"Those are for your house and car. I'll be out by the end of the week. If you have any questions Rizavi knows how to get a hold of me." He opened his mouth to say something else but he slammed his jaw shut with audible force. He smirked and snorted like a bull facing that which had provoked it to anger. He leaned back out of the doorway and the man walked away without another word. Colleen stepping in to the doorway just after him, adding to the crowded room standing next to Matt.

As Curtis walked away Shiro wondered what exactly it had been that he had stopped himself from saying. He opted to error on the side of thankfulness that no more had been said,1 gathering from how tense the room had gotten.

"A house? She got a house?"

"It's a nice house too. Been over there a couple times when visiting the family earthside, did BBQ. Good grief this is so Quiznacking weird." Matt complained. Collen snorted and the others grumbled in agreement.

"What kind of car?"

"The economical solar tiny car that you barely fit in let alone you and Curtis… It was legitimately funny watching both of you getting in and out of that thing. It's brilliant, but it was a terrible choice... but you had been making a lot of those." Pidge answered.

"Just because you didn't like Atlas' choices doesn't mean they were bad choices." As soon as the words were out Matt slammed a hand over his mouth in stark horror. "I didn't mean it… i just meant like… quiznack!"

"I understood what you meant. And objectively for anyone, yes disagreeing with someone's choices does not invalidate their choice nor does it mark it as a bad choice."

"Sometimes though, double checking on someone when those choices seem off is generally a good idea. Even if you do get chewed out for it." Coran piped up

"What do you mean by that?"

"You… Atlas had been pushing all of us away. I thought it was just dealing with everything that happened after you lot landed out in space, by not dealing with it, or facing any of it. I got quite the chewing out after trying."

"As did Sam and I." Colleen added. Shiro was considering his reply, if there was a reply to that when he shivered and cold settled in, deep, freezing, cold. Shiro set the cup of ice chips, more water now, to the side table next to the keys. He reached to cover Keith's hand that had made it to his left side, arm behind his back. Keith obliged him wordlessly. It was an awkward position for both of their arms, but he needed… Shiro shivered but did his best to measure his breathing to Keith's.

Sam walked in with a stack of papers and a very heavily locked box.

"Sam stop." He stopped in place just inside the door way. Looking at Allura like he wanted to be anywhere but here. "I'll take the crystal from here. We'll be back shortly Shiro. Lance?" Lance patted Shiro's leg.

"Good to see you up boss." He followed Allura as she took the locked box from Sam and left. The further they got away from him, the more Shiro could breathe, as his limbs defrosted. He came back to himself with Colleen sitting on the opposite side of Keith, her hand smoothing over his hair as Keith stroked his sides

Black tapped against his mental doors which he opened carefully. He gasped for breath deeply on her return.

"I'm sorry Shiro, I didn't think proximity would have affected you with everything removed." Sam admitted.

"It's okay." He gulped in air as Keith scooted behind him as much as he could and raised Shiro's and his hand to Shiro's chest. Shiro grasped for the lifeline and tried valiantly once more to match their breathing as Keith quietly counted.

He supposed It had been a long time since Keith had to count for him. Coming back to earth really wasn't that long ago for Shiro though.

"I don't want to loose any more time."

"You still likely need a great deal of rest Shiro. You'll always have one of us here to make sure you don't loose too much." Sam said,

"I couldn't wake Keith up… being nearby doesn't change much." Shiro replied, looking over Keith's forehead at Sam, who smiled at him and raised an eye brow at him. Shiro knew that look. He knew those words. Worrying got you nowhere.

If you get too worried about what could go wrong, you might miss a chance to do something great.

He looked back at Keith who was looking up at him, eyes wide and trusting… beautiful.

One of us will be in this room, but I'll always be up here, as long as you want me to be here.

Always Keith

Keith smiled, softening his features even more. And Shiro closed his eyes.

It was dreamless, but it was warm. It was safe.

Until it wasn't.

The nightmare was ambiguous, but the idea was not.

Shiro drove this body as his Clone suffered unable to do anything but watch. Atlas drove this body as Shiro remained unable to do anything but watch. Shiro wasn't evil he didn't deserve this. That thought echoed twice over, wrecking his mind.

Was he still there, was Atlas. Atlas had been a child… It… It wasn't evil. But his clone… It was evil… It had to have been. He tore the team apart, ran them ragged and Keith… He…

But really, his Clone had been a child too, in a way.

The nightmare wasn't that he watched another being in control of his body, it wasn't even that either of their consciousness' still resided with him.

The nightmare was that in order to live again he had killed a child who had been manipulated, controlled, and used but hadn't been aware of it, couldn't have understood it. He screamed

NO

No, My Paladin. When he failed, Hagar disposed of him, She consumed him as the metal had and left him for dead. We may not have trusted him beyond flying us, but he wasn't evil, nor are you, nor was Atlas.

Shiro broke then, just a little, to admit to himself that those who had taken his face were just overgrown children with memories not their own doing what they thought was best with what they had available to them.

He closed his eyes to avoid seeing the stars and crawled under Black's chin to cry. It wasn't fair… that in itself lent to the question, how different was he to them. Was he just a child too?

Who was he? What was left of him? Why him?

Why him?

Chapter Text

He woke up to a heavy weight on him. Shiro opened his eyes to see Kosmo asleep on him. He was rather quite a bit bigger than Shiro remembered and didn't weigh nearly what he should for his size. Shiro looked to the side to see Hunk on the chair next to the bed looking through a tablet, Pidge slept, hugging her laptop and snoring lightly in the chair next to the window, and Lance stood next to her, looking out the window, subdued.

How long?

Five Vargas My Paladin.

Shiro blinked and rubbed at salt crusted cheeks.

"Hey look who's up. Sorry Keith's not here but he's like a super big wig now so he's currently dealing with this shitshow,"

"Hunk!"

"Cheese Show, sorry, with Allura, Coran, Romell, Krolia, and Kolivan. President Holt, though that's more status than actual political position, is helping out Earthside with media spin. Anyway Keith will definitely be back as soon as he can… Which could still be a while unless there's like an emergency at which point Kosmo will go steal him out of whatever meeting he's currently stuck in?" Hunk for as much as he seemed to ramble, truly got to the heart of things.

"What kind of big wig? Black said he was just the head of the Blades when they left." Lance cackled. And his morose face quickly turned gleeful.

"Oh man, buddy, let me explain you a thing! So long story short New Daibazaal set up a democratic republic similar to pre World war three USA. So there was a small group that fulfilled the requirements for Keith to be a valid write in Candidate for Planetary president, this is after he turned down the offer to just pick up the reins for the first few years mind you, so he wasn't really paying attention, content to just do his humanitarian thing with his generals… But the group that fulfilled the requirements for write in Candidate were not quiet about it… Of course no one thought that a write in Candidate would win, especially one that wasn't actually running… But you know Keith, he eats impossible for breakfast. So yeah… Official title is Grand President of the Galran Union."

"Yeah, it's great, he hates it, but he likes my food and hires me and my crew to cater all the big events, so it's mutually beneficial."

That chunk of news didn't sit real well with him, though Black found it to be entirely too entertaining. First and third Paladin as leader of the Galra... second paladin as well on his way to being the thirds first gentleman.

Shiro briefly wondered how long it would have taken Keith to bring that up if he hadn't had to leave. But…

"What exactly is the current situation that has so many people involved?"

"Earth just lost it's main weapon and vehicle of exploration. Earth was working it's way up to being a galactic power, not on the level of what the Galra were, but it had enough of a presence to have a main table at galactic summits. That presence was deemed dangerous and has been dismantled." Lance explain.

"Not to mention the side conversation that came about after the garrison press release about what had been going on for the last three years… That brought some old empire workers out of the woodwork to let everyone know that you were just a Kuron clone, which set Keith off… Like badly, Allura had to clean that one up real quick when they pulled footage of the Kuron facility collapsing in on you two from an old security camera feed… Because they apparently stream and keep DVR records back as far as one hundred years, who even has the space for that. Anyway that landed everyone on the morality of your existence and if you have any diplomatic status or if Atlas had diplomatic status or if your clone had diplomatic status… It's all confusing and complete Bull... cheese" Hunk grinned and side eye'd Lance as he tacked on that last word.

Shiro hadn't realized he'd sat up until he fell back on to the bed with a mouth full of air escaping him, jostling Kosmo in the process.

"Red tape."

"Sooo much red tape!" Lance agreed. Shiro sighed again, and side eyed the giant stack of papers on the side table. Hunk was quick to notice it and started explaining

"That is a letter from Atlas, and an annulment of the marriage certificate that needs your signatures. The small book is apparently a summary of actions she took and the giant book is a detailed account of the last three years."

"Read at your own discretion." Lance added.

Shiro was tempted to get up and find a lighter to burn it all, but knew better. He may not want it now, but he might want it later. He grabbed the unbound section of the stack of papers and flipped through the pages until he got to the legal stuff. He took the ten page essay and slapped it face down over the small booklet. The remaining stack of papers was nothing short of daunting, especially since it looked like Curtis had already gone through and signed his portion.

"Mom, said she highlighted all the places you need to initial and sign." Shiro looked up to see Pidge had woken up. He smiled at her internally making a note to thank Colleen later.

Then he realized it was all paper, and he'd need a pen.

"Why paper?" He asked to no one in particular.
"The courts are all about paper after everything got EMP'd by the Galra." Pidge answered as she booted her laptop back up. Shiro snorted, looking for a pen, and finding one next to his cup of water. He took a sip first, then swapped the cup for the pen. He struggled with it, and the papers, jostling and waking Kosmo while he was at it. Shiro sighed again, smiling at the Space Wolf as he yawned loudly.

"Scooch." Kosmo, smart wolf that he was moved his head curling onto Shiros legs and Shiro scratched his ears in thanks. With the extra space Shiro managed, with difficulty, to skim, sign, and initial everything. Taking sips of water all the while.

He was finishing up, set the pen back down on the table and the paperwork face up on his stack of paper, when Kosmo lifted his head at attention, before disappearing, then promptly reappearing with Keith face down on top of Shiro and Kosmo on top of Keith winding them both. Shiro hadn't even had time to feel blood rushing back in to his legs.

"Damnit dog!" Shiro laughed lightly as Kosmo snuffed, jumping down from Keith's back. Shiro ignored the pins and needles now making their way down his legs in favor of looking at a rather disheveled Keith.

"Hi Mr. President." The glare Shiro received for his trouble was more than worth it, Keith glanced over to Lance who had nothing short of a shit eating grin on his face.

"Sorry, couldn't resist." Keith turned back to Shiro, eyes catching on the disturbed stack of paper.

"You uh, get into that?" Keith met his eyes, still not making any attempt to move though,

"Only to read and fill out the paperwork. I'm not ready for the rest." Keith nodded

"Wait did you actually read all that?" Hunk asked,

"Thoroughly skimmed." Lance snorted at that while Pidge ignored them all.

"Uhuh."

"You have great timing too, just finished with it." Keith chuckled.

"What time is it?"

"Ten to four" Pidge answered, not completely ignoring then.

"Hunk, tablet picture. Send it to me." Hunk giggled as he took a picture of Shiro and Keith. Keith rolled to his side, this time to Shiro's left and pulled out his own tablet.

"This is what Hunk is going to send me." Keith said, "look at the time stamp." Shiro looked at what Keith put in front of him. The time stamp was a minute in the future.

"Alright sent."

"Thank you."

"How long?" Lance asked.

"Twenty minutes."

"The first time Kosmo did it, it was for five seconds… for five seconds there were two very confused Keith's in the same room. Scared, me, scared my catering team, scared his mother… it was weird." It took Shiro a moment to grasp what Hunk was saying.

"And this has been going on for…"

"Couple of months."

"Huh." Shiro couldn't help but stare at the wolf now curled up at Hunks feet.

"Yup. Haven't had a chance to talk to Allura about that one yet."

"I did, and she doesn't have any idea. She'll need time with him to make sure it's not going up break anything, not that we could stop him. May as well enjoy being two places at once El Presidente." Lance wiggled his eye brows as Keith scowled and blushed…. And suddenly, he got an echo of what Keith was trying not to think about which had Shiro instantly blushing and coughing and grabbing for his now empty water cup.

"I'll go get you more ice." Keith said as he grabbed the cup and made a quick exit.

"Slav owes me money." Lance stated.

"No, Slav doesn't owe you money until there is photographic proof, which I really don't see happening." Hunk said,

"Ye of little faith." Pidge smirked, and that didn't make Shiro feel any better at all. As the echo and the blush subsided, Shiro drifted.

He wasn't that kind of guy... right? The question popped up again.

Who am I?

Takashi Shirogane. My Paladin…

But Keith…

Is my pilot, my trusted pilot, accepted on compatibility by necessity. But he is not the Black Paladin nor was your clone. Even if you can't find a way to know yourself, at least know this. You are the Black Paladin Shiro.

Why me?

You have faith in those you lead and led as a team member not a dictator. You never did have the time to learn though… that you must have faith that those you lead will fill in for you when you need a break. The lead goose in V formation rotate positions do they not. That's what Keith reminds himself of whenever he's needed a break. Delegate and Rotate to not burn out.

Just like that, Shiro felt another weight lift off his shoulders. One he hadn't known was there. Keith hasn't been ready, but time in the abyss with Krolia had matured him. Time and distance from... from Atlas had proven him more than capable.

He'd always known Keith had the capability to surpass him. Never in a million years could he have ever guessed by how much.

"Shiro?"

Shiro felt a hand on his face wiping tear tracks from his cheeks. From the sound of it, that hadn't been the first time Keith had called his name. Shiro came back to the present moment and determined the other three had left, but Allura was back standing next to Keith who was sitting on the edge of the bed to his right, body twisted toward Shiro, hands on his cheeks.

"There you are." Shiro did his best to smile. Keith was tight lipped and tense as Allura spoke.

"Shiro, I hate to do this to you, but you need to read the letter from Atlas, and likely her summary as well if you want to keep anything of the life Atlas built with your name, including your intergalactic diplomatic status'."

"I don't want what I haven't earned."

"It's not just…"

"No listen, Zarkon didn't even die when we went up against him, when I died. I wasn't the one who suffered Coran and Bii Bo Bi, I didn't orchestrate freeing a third of the known universe, I was Captain of the Atlas for less than a week and only for her first flight, I wasn't there when you saved every single reality. If they need to think of my Clone as Shiro and Atlas as Atlas and if they need to think of them as dead so be it, I'll just be me, but I'm not them and I don't deserve anything they were given."

Allura opened and closed her mouth several times, almost looking like a fish.

"I was the Champion, I am the Black Paladin, i was part of the team that formed Voltron for the first time in Ten thousand years. I am Takashi Shirogane. Nothing more. I just need to make sure that people understand that I'm not them and they were not me."

"You did a lot of good before you died. You did a lot of good here on earth preparing to take Earth back. Don't you dare think so little of yourself." Keith gruffed out.

"Pot."

"Kettle."

"Cauldron…" Allura snorted in a very unlady like manner. "Very well. But you should realize that taking that stance will likely leave you with nothing left of your own. Those keys will belong to a bank. Any funds you have in any bank will be sent to your primary beneficiary, annulment aside, that will still be Curtis. Your social status and rank will be incarcerated with Atlas."

"You'll only have us Shiro." Keith said in a somehow neutral manner.

"That's all we had in the Castle. We didn't really need more than that did we?" Shiro gripped and Allura smiled,

"No… we didn't." Shiro smiled and asked Keith,

"Any chance you have a place I can stay?" Keith couldn't hide the bright flash of happiness that passed through him. "Maybe any pilot positions open?" Keith started laughing.

"You'd be working with a lot of Galra… but I'm sure I can find a spot for you, if that's alright."

"More than alright." Keith swallowed, looking back at Allura who smiled at them softly.

"Sleep on it, if your decision remains the same on the morning, we will let relevant parties know your stance."

"Thank you Allura, for everything."

"Of course. I'm sure my King consort will be pleased to know he'll be working with the President and First Gentleman of Daibazaal." Keith began truly guffawing as Shiro took a moment to sort it out.

"King Consort?"

"I linked myself to Lance to get home, I heard him, I hadn't realized... he suffered far more than i thought he would. I know him far better than I know anyone else now." That was interesting, but not what he'd been getting at.

"The best to both of you then. Romelle's stepping down, I assume?"

"Thank you, and she'll still be working closely with us, for now she will remain first in line should I pass. I won't be going back immediately of course, and she's promised to keep things running as much as Krolia and Kolivan will keep Diabazaal running."

Shiro squinted his eyes… not quite connecting the dots.

"Vacation Shiro, all seven of us are taking a vacation." Keith grinned, and Shiro wondered how long it had been since any of them had entertained the idea.

"Much sooner than anticipated should your answer remain the same."

"It will."

"Until morning then." With that Allura ducked out and Krolia and Colleen ducked in. All the internal alarm bells available to Shiro started ringing.

"Thank you for the highlighting Colleen."

"Of course. Mind if I borrow the keys? Just because you think nothing in there belongs to you doesn't mean there isn't. I want to grab some things for posterity."

"Eavesdropping?" He asked eyebrow raised.

"Shamelessly."

"Yeah, sure have at it."

"Thank you sweety." Colleen snatched up the keys and kissed his head with a side hug then practically skipped her way out.

"Ill be assisting Allura with drafting up a proper press release. Pending things don't change, we'll have you both review it prior to the council meeting. Kolivan and I will return to Daibazaal directly thereafter." Keith turned and stood and he and his mother hugged like it was a completely natural occurrence, though he figured quickly that it probably actually was an everyday occurrence, and it was something Shiro realized he wanted viscerally. And somehow she knew.

When they parted Keith moved sideways and Krolia sat down and pulled Shiro toward her, gripping him in an almost too tight hug. He hugged her back as well as he could as tightly as he could with one arm. He wasn't sure how long it lasted, but it came to an end somehow in perfect timing.

"Thank you Krolia." She smiled, a truly warm smile.

"I'll be moving out of Keith's adjoining room and moving down next to Kolivan. I'll have it cleaned and furnished with whatever Colleen and I deem acceptable so it will be ready for you when you move in." She stood and left before he could get another word out.

"Both mothers seem to like the idea. I think that's a point in not changing my mind." Keith snorted,

"My mother is ecstatic. She's been staying with me because of how sick I've been. With you coming in and me not being sick she has all the excuse in the universe to go move in with Kolivan."

"So that is a thing?"

"That is very much a thing."

"I think I called that at one point." 

"Just after we found him and she went with him. I remember. I don't remember what we bet or what I owe you for being that oblivious."

"You owe me nothing Keith." It was suppose to come out light hearted, but it came out thick with meaning instead. Keith sat back down on the infirmary bed, and looked Shiro in the eye.

"It stopped being about owing each other a long time ago Shiro. You owe me nothing and I owe you nothing. There's no score, okay." Shiro huffed at him, his smile self depreciating yet wanton. Shiro felt the wave of want crash through him, something he was more than familiar with treading through, those last couple of weeks before they faced off with Sendak had become a test in self discipline.

He didn't have to anymore though. He could take, if it was offered. Before he had a chance to really formulate an action Keith beat him to it, lips met lips again, needy this time, pressing closer to each other. Shiro grabbed Keith's far thigh, trying to pull him closer. Keith gasped and Shiro realized this body had muscle memory it probably hadn't had when Atlas put him to sleep. As if he'd been back in his own body, a body lived in, broken in, used, familiar.

Shiro was sure given time to think about it, the painful emotion of violation would set in, but with Keith on him, climbing closer, with needy whines escaping the back of his throat while Shiro sucked on his tongue, on his lips... Shiro used as he had been used, and was glad, if only in that moment, a moment bound to fade into temporary despair.

Keith used his temporary distraction to pull away, lips tracing down his neck, his shoulder. He nuzzled his nose there between the two then he bit and Shiro bucked up and keened, biting his own lip to silence himself. He buried his own nose in between Keith's neck and shoulder… This... His body did not know this, so he took for himself, if Keith was amenable to it, Shiro would build his own muscle memory here. Keith was licking the bite, soothing it, then Shiro bit Keith and he pressed his lap even closer to Shiro as he loudly wailed for a few moments, someone would have heard that.

"Shiro"

Shiro pressed his tongue over the bite, tasting iron, sucking on it as he tried to dull the pain.

"Sorry, didn't mean to bite that hard."

"Neither did I."

No one came despite how loud that had been, or maybe it had just been loud to him. So Shiro just kept Keith close, as their hearts and breathing settled.

Yes there'd undoubtedly be a learning curve to living on new Daibazaal, perhaps it was just taking the easy way out, delaying the inevitable, but he'd take it. He'd bring the papers with him in a locked box to read when he was ready, but that wasn't going to be any time soon. He needed to live, needed to have his own life, his own place of belonging before he could look at what the Atlas had done. That would take time and patience. Until then, he had the Paladins, and a vacation to look forward to. How Shiro would fare, he didn't know, but he had Keith and Black back. Between the three of them, they'd survive. They had to.

The throbbing in his neck had subsided, and he hoped Keith's was as well. He was going to ask as Keith pulled back just far enough to look Shiro in they eyes, but his eyes were molten fire and it took Shiros breath away.

"I love you." Keith said it out loud and through Black, and Shiro returned the favor embracing Keith's physical warmth and Blacks mental warmth.

"I love you too."

Always.

Always.

Chapter Text

Shiro woke with a start. Black purring reassuringly in his mind. A warm balm to his chaotic thoughts of a life not lived. He was pretty sure the dream he'd just had was a glimpse of the dream he had constructed for himself and oh how he wanted it, so very badly. Even the brief glimpse had him realizing why Atlas had left him asleep. 

But it wasn't real. It hadn't been real. He'd figured it out when the barrier between his dream and the real world were left unchecked for too long. He'd  realized that the smile Keith shared only with Shiro was a cardboard cutout and his eyes had faded from memory.

His mind had labeled it PTSD and dysphoria, but the wedding dirge in his mind had been the last straw for everything to click out of place, but he hadn't known how to get out. Shiro just screamed until Allura woke him up, the dream having already collapsed.

Shiro was honestly thankful that he didn't remember it, at least not in any linear fashion. Just snippets that he was sure hadn't happened, things that Shiro wanted more than anything, but couldn't have. Not yet anyway, it would probably be a few years really… Years that he may not have. He wasn't pinning his hope's on available tech just yet, that was dangerous even if Keith thought there could be some merit.

Shiro gulped back the lump in his throat that had no business being there letting his dream fade to nondescript feelings and ideas.

Black, How long?

Not long My Paladin. Go back to sleep. My Pilot will wake you before he and Allura must see to their duties.

Shiro sighed. Those snippets of a life not lived shouldn't be something to mourn when he hardly remembered anything, but he could feel saltwater covering his eyes. 

He tightened his hold on Keith as he slept, burying his nose in his hair and breathed him in. it was grounding in an indescribable way.

Still, a few tears fell from his eyes for what never was. This was worse, so much worse than last time.  He'd felt like death warmed over when he'd been pulled out off Black. Now he just felt like a fish out of water. Every thing felt tight, wrong, chaotic. His heart beat erratically and his breathing despite every effort was becoming labored. 

"Shro?" Shiro's next exhale was a sob. God Keith sounded so groggy. He should still be asleep but Shiro just had to break down again in the middle of the night. Keith didn't move, not that he could in Shiro's grip, but he started counting for him anyway. Keith's ear was right over his heart for the entire ordeal. It left Shiro feeling even more vulnerable than he already was.

He knew realistically that his heart monitor, though silent would tell Keith everything that he heard, but it was different, more personal. More revealing of just how difficult a time Shiro was having. 

It took a while for Shiro's breathing and heart rate to return to normal. It took even longer for Shiro to loosen his grip on Keith. 

Shiro shuddered out a breath. 

"Sorry."

Keith, rather than answer,  scooted up until his mouth latched on to where he had bitten Shiro earlier and sucked. It was like a release valve and the lump that had been stuck in his throat morphed into choked on sobs and a steady stream of tears.

"Keith Please." He didn't know what he was asking for but there was something, something building and he didn't quite understand it.

Keith stopped his ministrations and offered up his neck where Shiro had bitten him earlier in return. Shiro latched back on, his teeth gripping the skin he had bitten before, but not biting nor sucking as Keith just had been. That's not to say if Keith moved Shiro wouldn't bite back down to keep him there, but no, he just gripped the skin in his mouth as his breathing settled again. 

He felt raw and worn as he lazily swiped his tongue back and forth over the skin held between his teeth. That unnamed feeling still building on a precipice.

"Shiro, I want to see you." Reluctantly, Shiro released his hold, pulling back. Keith looked up at him with very sharp eyes and a very real smile the opposite to his now faded dream.

The feeling plateaued.

Safe… This is what it felt like to be stripped bare and still feel safe.

Shiro had never divulged why He and Adam parted ways and he doubted Adam would have told Keith either.

As far as Keith was concerned, Shiro had wanted better for Adam, wanted Adam to find someone who cared more about him than their career. As far as Keith was concerned, Adam hadn't disagreed.

So when Keith walked in to Shiro's apartment to find him on the floor and in pain, when Keith had run in to his room to find his backup stimulators on a charger, when Keith had wrangled a semi-feral Shiro in to a position to get the dead ones off and the charges ones back on to him, when Keith hadn't changed his mind after that about Shiro going to Kerberos, knowing that the Holts' would be there, and when Keith had told Shiro that he'd be there waiting for him to get back; there's no way Keith could have understood what any of that meant to him.

That was the first time Shiro had ever felt like this, it hadn't been this strong though, merely a fraction really. It's when Keith went from Mentee and Friend to Friend and Brother… And something else that Shiro wouldn't have ever thought about touching, even with a ten foot pole.

So no, this wasn't the first time Keith had made him feel this way, but it was a new revelation and a new strength every time. And there had been many, many times.

Shiro breathed deeply and smiled back warmly at the beautiful man on top of him. This ethereal being as grounding as the stars he hailed from. He blinked.

He blinked, but he must have fallen asleep again, dreamless this time, because the next time he opened his eyes, it was light out again and Keith was at his side looking at him like a cat that ate a canary. Krolia expression wasn't much different.

On the bright side Shiro didn't have to deal with the fact that be had basically been treating Keith's neck like a dog toy, given that his teeth were not anywhere near Keith's neck right now. On the other, not so bright side, Keith was getting out of bed.

"Whahs tha look for?" Shiro yawned as he spoke. Keith just smirked.

"Nothing, I'm just happy." Shiro smiled.

"Good. That's good." Shiro yawned again as Keith finished extricating himself from Shiro's hold and Allura walked in with Lance.

Allura walked toward them but stopped abruptly, eyes darting between Keith and Shiro. Shiro raised an eyebrow at her confused look when it finally landed back on Krolia who still looked quite happy herself.

"That might cause problems Krolia." 

"It might, but it will save them both a few headaches in the long run." 

"Better question, is did you guys talk about it." Lance asked, eyeing Keith's neck which was now very, very noticably marked. Shiro wondered for a moment how visible his own was. 

"We uh…" Keith shifted on his feet, his happy look turning into a guilty one.

"That would be a no then?" Lance tried to clarify. Shiro took Pity on Keith,

"There wasn't a lot of talking, no."

"Who claimed first." Allura asked,

"I did, I wasn't exactly in a state to talk, nor was he... it's not official anyway."

"What's not official?"

"You and Keith bit each other, which is basically Galra married."

"It's not!" Keith screeched much to Shiro's visible amusement.

"More like, pre-engagement given it wasn't confirmed while coupling. It will fade." Krolia explained.

"That's not how humans work Mom. Humans just bite to bite."

"I know. I never intended to explain it otherwise to your father either, however, our coupling bites didn't fade, for either of us."

"Ugh, can we not." Krolia looked at her son indulgently, then looked to Allura. 

"His uniform will cover it anyway."

"That's only half the problem, coupling or no, I don't think those markets are going to fade given their intertwined quintessence. There will be others there today who will notice Keiths quintessence as easily as I did." 

"Others where?" Shiro interjected. Allura looked back at Shiro, likely getting her brain back on its original track. 

"The coalition council will be reconvening today. The Paltraxinians have the ability to sense quintessence as easily as Altean alchemists. But, first things first. Have you changed your mind?"

Shiro thought back to the middle of the night, the life he may or may not have time for and years of wanting to make Keith feel as safe as Keith had made him feel. It didn't leave time to be too far from each other.

"No, I've not changed my mind. Do I need to sign anything?" Allura exhaled shortly. 

"Not yet, I'm sure the council will want some sort of evidence that this is in fact your choice… That's why the mark's could pose a problem."

"They don't affect individuality." Krolia argued. 

"There's plenty of lore that suggests it could."

"It doesn't, I wouldn't have been able to return to the blades to hide earth if it did. If the Paltraxinians don't mention anything, no one will know any different."

"Even without the mark, Keith's quintessence is noticeably brighter than it was yesterday." Before Krolia could shoot back Keith interrupted the small disagreement,

"They joined after I had already started to get sick, they wont know what my baseline is. We'll be fine."  Allura pursed her lips, apparently somewhat mollified.

"I hope you're right." She looked back at Shiro, who was still somewhat in the dark, but having gathered enough to know that Keith was definitely going to be explaining this later. She looked back at Keith a moment later,

"You need to go get ready... and for life bringers sake, cover that mark up."

"Yes ma'am" Keith saluted lazily then learned over and kissed Shiro's forehead, then lightly on his lips. 

"The nurses should be in soon. I'll see you later. I'll um. I'll explain better then."

"I'll hold you to that." Shiro Replied. Keith glared at Lance.

"Do not even try to badly explain that."

"Hey man I already said my piece." Keith sighed and whistled. The smell of Ozone and Kosmo popping in just after. Keith and his wolf both looked to Shiro.

"I love you." Shiros amused albeit confused smile softened.

"I love you too. Have fun." Keith snorted.

"Yeah right." With that both boy and his wolf disappeared. Allura sighed and smiled shaking her head, walking over to where Keith had been and pulled Shiro's gown to cover his bitten shoulder.

"Try and keep that covered for the time being."

"Alright."

"For the record, all the lore Allura was referring to is ancient and delt with the druid precursors and slave labor." Shiro's eyebrows skyrocketed. 

"And noooow?"

"I leave that to my son, but in short, it's a physical representation of a promise. In normal situations it wouldn't affect quintessence without coupling and without the expressed desire from both parties. It can't be forced."

"Unless our quintessence was already mixed?" Shiro hedged.

"Theoretically. You still had to bite back though." Krolia raised an eyebrow, the smirk from earlier returning in full force. Shiro coughed and looked the other way as Lance attempted to mute his snickering.

"We need to go too, depending on how today goes we may have a press briefing later you can tune in to." She put a hand on his unmarked shoulder as sat on the edge of his hospital bed, glancing briefly at his stack of papers from Atlas. "Last chance to change your mind Shiro." She looked back and made eye contact with him, driving that fact home.

"I know. I was born for the stars Allura and I've always had one timer or another on my life. I cant make the most of my time when I'm trying to be someone else."

Allura looked surprised and sad for a moment then smiled softly.

"There are..." Shiro cut her off,

"Keith said he'd talk to the Olkari and Taujeerians. But I'm not going to chance it."

"Very well." She stood and kissed the top of his head and made her way back to Lance as Krolia took her place.

"Keith had asked about meeting with the Olkari and Taujeerians, he didn't mention why… But I can tell you, even if they can't help, we'll there for you." Shiro smiled bleakly. 

"I can't tell you how much that means to me, especially right now."

"It will be rough though, both politically and socially."

"I can only imagine that it will be." He shrugged, not sure what she was aiming for. 

"I just mean," she pursed her lips, "Choosing Daibazaal, with Keith, won't put you out of the public eye. You'll be in the public eye more so than if you remained here. I want to make sure that you are doing this for you, and that you won't be blind sided if you are."

"Oh." Shiro nodded in understanding. "Krolia, I've made a lot of questionable choices, but I've never regretted any of them. I don't plan on starting to allow myself to regret anything now." She searched his eyes, and he let her. He knew it wasn't the answer she wanted, but it was the only one he could honestly give at the moment.

Eventually she nodded.

"Good."

Chapter Text

Lance had turned on the TV and sat to watch a nature program as Allura and Krolia left for their duties to the council, from the sounds of it all, solely on his behalf.

Shiro had remained quiet after Krolia had patted his unmarked shoulder, satisfied that Shiro was resolute in his decision. 

Even knowing that backing out could hurt Keith, she'd still checked. Shiro remembered vaguely his first couple of days in Black on their way back to Earth, how she'd often watch over him when Keith was at the helm. She'd known a lot about him, an unnerving amount. Enough to know what buttons to push and which ones to leave alone. He'd folded to her as quickly as he'd pretend he wouldn't fold to Keith. 

They hadn't had much time together really, but it had been evident then, even if he hadn't really understood why, that Krolia cared for him in a similar manner that she cared for her own son.

Shiro really couldn't help but be grateful for her.

The next hour had been somewhat mundane. The nurse had come and gone with more ice chips as his stomach began to complain. Kosmo appeared shortly thereafter next to Shiro's bed with Hunk and Colleen, then zapped mid jump to somehow land already laying down on top of Shiro.

"Oof." Lance laughed at his expression of discomfort at the sudden extra weight as did the others. He ignored them for the moment as the wolf stared him down. Shiro opted to scratch behind his closest ear while burying his face in the wolf's fur rather than face Kosmo down.

Shiro turned his head towards the newcomers.

"You guys get out of the council too?"

"Yep. Everyone has food so hopefully things go well enough with it."

"With your cooking, I'd be more surprised if it didn't go well." Hunk blushed a bit and chuckled.

"Thanks." He sat next to Lance on the window sill and Colleen sat on the bed next to Shiro and the wolf.

"I got your old stuff out of the house and in to ours. It's incentive for you to come have dinner with us before you head out in to the stars again." Shiro smiled.

"Dinner with family is incentive enough." Colleen  smiled, squinting her eyes and hugged him as well as she could with him still hugging the wolf.

In hindsight Shiro knew he should have cherished that hour of mundane TV as what followed had felt as if his heart had been ripped out and his mind set on fire.

One moment Kosmo was sleeping on him, the next moment Kosmo was wide awake staring at the middle of the room. A moment later a future Kosmo arrived with Keith. Kosmo took  only a moment to read the situation before zapping away. Shiro could assume that he had zapped to the future so he could zap back with Keith.

"How long have I been gone?"

"A little under an hour."

"Okay good, we still have time." Keith looked down at his wolf scratching behind the wolf's ears. "Good boy."

"I take it went as well as expected?" Colleen asked.

"It could have been worse" Keith looked at Shiro, pained. "It could still be worse." Shiro just raised his eyebrow, though Lance interjected into the silence,

"Well don't leave us hanging."
"Yeah what are we dealing with?" Hunk asked.

"Altas had a very high security clearance. Shiro, they're considering you a possible threat to planetary security."

"What?!" All but Shiro exclaimed.

"I was really hoping that wasn't going to be a problem." So much for a clean escape.

"You're going to be given two choices, each with it's own subset.

"Option one: To spend several weeks healing here until you were well enough to go through an advance lie detector test. It would require asking you if you remember certain events. It would go over anything garrison related for the past three years. And would probably take more than a few weeks to get through."

Shiro immediately understood Keith's pained look. He was still President of a different planet, he wouldn't be able to stay, and quite possibly wouldn't even be allowed any more real time with him. That was definitely the least likeable option regardless.

"Option two is more difficult to explain, but it would… it would require allowing the Paltraxinian to touch your mind, to see everything, and you'd see everything at the same time."

Oh… Shiro hadn't understood that pained expression, not completely. Shiro could fast pass this, but was he willing to pay that price, especially right now.

"And what would they intend to do if something is found?"

Hunk and Lance both winced though Collen remained stone faced. Keith answered,

"A lot more paperwork and likely confining you to the Garrison until they are sure you are aware of everything you know so you don't slip anything you shouldn't without being aware of it."

"So I couldn't just do all that paperwork and get this over with before it's started then?" Shiro asked for clarification as confinement seriously limited his ability to come up with counter options. He'd hoped that Iverson and Sam would be enough to sway things. Clearly not.

"No. I wish I could say otherwise."

"If there is something, won't this second option break clearance anyway?"

"Harax was given clearance by Atlas. I don't  know much more than that."

Black?

Regardless of your decision, The Lions of Voltron stand with you my paladin.

"And when will I be getting this choice officially?"

"In a few minutes. I think Kosmo gave me a few extra minutes. Harax should have already been here otherwise.

"Wait they're sending Harax to give him the choice right now?" Lance exclaimed as Hunk looked between all of them, this information clearly concerning him.

"Yes, best to hear what that choice entails directly from them, and to give Shiro as much time as he needs to make it."

"Isn't this all more of an ethics question more than a council decision though?" Hunk piped up.

"Depending on the choices made it could be but there's no precedent for this… It would probably end up in and out of legal before ethics could make up their mind." Colleen answered.

Shiro took a moment to process this all. He knew logically, why they had to do this. Shiro even had an inclination of what he would choose given the opportunity. The direction of other alternatives that came to mind had far reaching consequences, some of which could backfire badly, making the situation worse. 

But Shiro, whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, was a stubborn ass. He'd already set his goal. He more than likely had a very limited time frame to make that a reality and anything that got in his way of that goal was just another obstacle to overcome as efficiently as possible.

Shiro looked at Kosmo his eyes far too knowing. Shiro didn't say or even think any thing, but the wolf nodded minutely. If it came to an impasse, if he did remember something, the wolf would handle the heavy lifting and get everyone to safety. Shiro looked at Keith, still standing awkwardly, like he didn't know what to do with himself.

"What are you doing over there?"

Keith startled at Shiro's voice

When you could be over here?

Keith comically stumbled briefly reaching the bed and climbing across Shiro to the left rail practically in his lap.

"I'm not over there. I'm right here." Shiro smiled gratefully. Knowing how much he was relying on Keith right now wasn't remotely fair to him, he was thankful all the same.

"Yes. You are."

Thank you Keith

Always

Keith smiled, until his eyes darted to the door. Shiro followed his eyes. A strangely oblong humanoid ducked below the door frame to his room and stepped inside. The entrance seemed to flip a switch as everyone in the room looked distressed, even the humanoid.

When the humanoid stood to full height it nearly touched the ceiling, and that was when Shiro realized it had no facial features. It almost looked like a fluid saguaro cactus without the spines or the needles. Not humanoid then. 

Shiro wondered how the hell he had read feeling distressed from such a being. He tensed then as he heard an unfamiliar voice in his head. It took everything within him to not panic. He was glad he had enough control to push the panic off again, but wasn't looking forward to what it would be when it reared its head again.

Takashi Shirogane. We are delegate Harax of the Paltraxinian tribe.

As reacquainted with telepathic communication as Shiro had become in the past couple of days, it was incredibly unnerving for someone he didn't know to be able to speak to him in such a way.

It is not meant as an intrusion, it is just our way of life. 

Shiro cleared his mind to the best of his ability, quickly realizing that the state he was in prevented him from doing so with any degree of control.

Despite his state, he could tell immediately that the being was indeed apologetic for the perceived intrusion.

"Telepathic and empathic?" 

Yes.

That explained how they exuded emotions without noticeable body language.

Indeed. 

"It's um, it's interesting to meet you Harax."

A mutual feeling. As it seems President Kogane has already intimated to you, We are tasked with ensuring nothing of Atlas remains in your mind before the council will accept your resignation on Atlas's behalf.

"And we would do this how?"

By entering your mind and reading your memories. 

Keith?

Shiro called for him almost instinctively this time, for his comfort, his support, his opinion.

The president was very much opposed to the idea but also seemed to think you'd take this over the alternative.

Keith flinched at his side. Shiro reached out his hand to grab one of Keith's.

"And that alternative entails?"

Healing, significant interrogation, pending results also possibly confinement. 

"Why offer this?" Harax paused for a moment.

Atlas was kind to us. Kind and very quiet, and pleasant to be around. It was through the efforts of Atlas that we joined the coalition. Atlas shared with us his mind as we shared ours with him. Through this, trust was built. Through this we joined the universe beyond our borders. We are a proud species, and not knowing that there was another we could not sense has left our kind questioning the extent of our abilities. 

We had congratulated Keith for his marking and his health. This set off questions from others within the council as to the validity of your change in personality. Given it was our remark, and with Keith's worry of time and getting you to see the Olcari and Taujeerians as soon as possible, we felt it only fair to offer to just look and verify it for them. If there is any remembrance from Atlas we will know exactly what it is, and so will you.

Shiro sighed trying to grasp the puzzle pieces to this whole fiasco. 

"So will I?"

"It would be as when I transferred you from the Black Lion into your new body. Everything at once, only I never looked, Harax would. They'd have to." Shiro jumped slightly having not realized that Allura and Pidge had been in the doorway behind Harax.

Harax turned to Allura,

Yes. It would be similar to holding a conscious quintessence. Though we would not hold your conscience or transfer it, merely look at it.

Shiro closed his eyes, feeling drained.

Black,

I am with you my Paladin.

The reassurance Black gave him and the stability that Keith's presence created could not be overstated. Shiro noted that Allura had picked up in the middle of the conversation he'd been having with  Harax, though no one else had made a sound since Harax had arrived. 

Has everyone heard both sides of this conversation?

Only those within the room. As you spoke aloud to them so did we, though now that you speak only to us, we speak only to you.

He sighed, already knowing his decision, though truthfully he didn't like either option. But he understood where the confusion was coming from and why everyone now felt that the difference might not be genuine. 

Atlas had him so buried that not even telepathic empaths knew he was in there. Then he had gone from Atlas's wedding to just shy of begging Keith to let Shiro be the one to follow him out into space this time.

Shiro opened his eyes.

"There's a lot of dark stuff in there, a lot of personal stuff."

We understand. We would see all but search only for where you ended and Atlas began, and where Atlas ended and you returned.

Shiro sighed again.

When Allura had transferred him, she may not have looked, but as much as she saw everything at once, so had Shiro, except he had searched, or at least tried to as the memories quickly faded away. He had gone through his memories in Black when he'd been dead, but not like it had been to face them head on in the transfer. But this time it wouldn't just be his memories, in theory. 

He'd already worked through the scraps of memory he had of the clones' by gleaning information off of the others as they made their way back to earth, but this could be very different. But it would also be quick.

Shiro had always been about living as much as he could in the time he had, this would let him.

Decision made.

"Do it."

So be it.

The Paltraxinian moved forward, closing the distance between them and placed a… A branch on his forehead.

It wasn't like when Allura had transferred him. It was nothing like it. Every thought, every feeling, every disconnect, every death, every failure, every success, every hope, every fear, every dream. Everything his clone had been through was there and it hurt to see himself like that as he was doing it knowing it hadn't been him.

The Paltraxinian removed it's branch from Shiro as he surged forward to bury his face in the wolf's fur. The wolf that had made it's way on to him and Keith again.

He screamed. Everything within him screamed.

Chapter Text

Everything was broken. Every single part of him was so, very broken.

My Paladin!

Shiros mind ran to the only place he knew could handle the information overload. Though after facing everything in a moment, the skyscape of the astral plane was more horrifying than it was comforting. 

Shiro closed the eyes of his projected image with some success, trying to remember to breath by habit even if it wasn't real here. He let his mind process the excess of information. Even as he combated a rare bout of claustrophobia in the most open space available to him.

It wasn't quite muscle memory that he drew upon, in that moment, but it was similar in nature, on a level of spiritual consciousness. Shiro began his pointless exercise routine in a non physical state. He'd done this so many times back then… He let his mind wander as he reviewed the expanded consciousness, expanded to fit the room and he molded it back in to a physically manageable and unpainful size.

The things he knew and didn't need to keep…

Shiro knew now the full extent of the fractured and incomplete world he had built for himself as Atlas stole his life. 

He knew now everything that he had watched and observed and spiritually traversed the cosmos with the Black Lion in his death and just how much of it had faded when he'd rejoined the living.

He knew now the extent of what was done to him… All of him… Under the cruel ways of the Empire, and of the druids. He knew every face of every life he'd taken and every life he'd been allowed to spare.

Then there were the many things he knew and kept.

His memories as they had been.

And then there is what he hadn't really processed, but wanted to keep anyway.

He knew now every look, every word, and every touch he'd ever shared with Keith and knew just how and when things had changed, not just when he'd let himself notice it, but when it had actually changed. Why it had changed. How they had changed.

Shiro hadn't really thought to care that there would be inevitable whispered rumors of grooming… Questions of his intent and how quickly it seemed to the rest of the world that he had taken what Keith had offered without a second thought. For whatever he may have thought about the conversation he'd  wanted to have with Keith after he woke when the Lions had fallen, he'd never really cared if there had perhaps been any subconscious truth to what those rumors would have been.

With everything so forthright in his mind, he knew for a fact that it had been nothing of the sort. It had just been two people making their way through life, from stranger to student to friend and brother. That all encompassing bond of love between brothers in arms morphed into best friend and confidant with a side of attraction, sexual and romantic attraction. Because somewhere along the way, that punk of a kid became a very attractive man.

The Black Lion purred, reverberating through his entire being.

It was only here that Shiro realized he'd had some repressed worries about what would become of Keith and himself, maybe that's what Krolia had been hinting at earlier. About being in the public eye.  If she'd ask again, he'd give her the same answer, but with an addendum. They'd make sure they had their life story at the ready for when anyone in the press was stupid enough to try and take either of them down.

Shiro didn't know how long he'd been sorting and letting his consciousness slow down in the infinite plane, but after focusing on the good, particularly, on the Paladins and on Keith he felt prepared to at least try to face the world.

Black contentedly and insistently nudged his consciousness out of the astral plane back in to his body.

He's waiting.

Shiro half expected his head to be pounding when he woke up. It blessedly, was not. 

He felt Keith curled up on his right, breathing deeply as he slept. Shiro opened his eyes to look at the man next to him. He would have been content to stare at him but for the flash he saw from his left through the window. Shiro was confused for a moment thinking the view reminded him of what Krolia and Keith had described the Quantum Abyss as.

Take the job with the Blades, you have proven more than capable to handle it. I have nothing left to teach, no guidance left to give. Go, be great. 

Shiro furrowed his brow, not understanding what the hell he was hearing. Shiro startled as Keith spoke,

"That was Atlas in one of our last civil discussions before she shut me out. We're far enough out from the abyss that we only catch snippets of things we've heard or could hear. But we're close enough to the abyss that one day is one week here." Shiro tore his eyes from the view of the Abyss over to Keith, eyes now wide open.

"What…" He had so many question and he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to any of them. With Shiro's silence, Keith continued. 

"Harax confirmed that the only part of Atlas you remember after she took over was hearing the wedding music before you realized that everything was wrong. The council moved to accept your resignation on Atlas's behalf, something she had already signed as it turns out… All you have to do is sign it and the Garrison becomes an ally, not an employer. But that can wait."

Shiro nodded, accepting Keith's explanation and diversion, opting to not press what wasn't meant for him to hear.

"How long?"

"Since you passed out? It took us a day to get you transferred out here. Harax practically insisted on it. If the blades didn't hold shares in this place Harax was prepared to pay to get you out here. Apparently they dug up quite a bit. You've been recovering for six days here, so almost two days for the rest of the universe, a week for us."

Shiro closed his eyes processing that.

"Huh."

Keith leaned up and covered his mark with one hand and softly scratched Shiros scalp with the other. He groaned, it felt so good. But there was one thing that needed to be addressed before anything else. He opened his eyes.

"He loved you as much as I do, maybe more." Shiro turned to search out Keith's eyes, currently confused.

"After the arm devoured the rest of his shoulder using his own quintessence, there wasn't much of him left." Keith's eyes slowly opened wider in shock, his mouth hanging open.

"I remembered what you said to him when I woke in this body, even though I didn't know the entire context. That's about all I remembered. There were scraps of conversations and missions, but none of it made any sense. I remember it all now." A few tears escaped Keith's eyes as well as his own. He moved his own hand to cup Keith's cheek, wiping away the tears and brushing his thumb over the scar that marred Keith's face.

"He was relieved when you cut off his arm. Even though he knew he was dying he had heard you, what was left of him heard you through the rage. Whatever control Hagar had, she hadn't accounted for that and he didn't know what to do with it.

Even though he knew he wasn't the original he knew he loved you too. But the only thing Haggar left him with was anger. When the connection was cut, the last of his quintessence left him before he could say it back for the both of us, because he knew I loved you first, loved you different." Keith kissed him then, frantically. Tears still falling as he straddled Shiro. Shiro dropped his hand from Keith's face to wrap around his back holding him close, rubbing his back as he tried to not get caught up, tried to measure his breathing through his nose. Because right now, this was for the both of them, but it was also for a dead man.

Keith moved the hand currently covering the mark he'd given Shiro, surreptitiously searching out his carotid artery. Shiro let him without notice and when Keith found it, his mania seemed to settle some, matching Shiros breathing. Keith eventually broke off, resting his forehead on Shiros.
 
“I never, I never mourned him.”

"I know."

"We weren't close. And it hurt."

"I know and he knew and he couldn't figure out why or how to fix it. I figured it out, I just never got the chance. "

"You visited all the Lions, all the Paladins, but you didn't come back after Green. And then there was no time."

"I'm sorry I didn't come back. I truly am sorry. But I don't think either of us could have handled that conversation yet. I needed time to... adjust. And some perspective"

"I forgave you for that a long time ago, and you're probably right about the timing. But why bring him up now?"

Shiro sighed carefully wording his response.

"It's fresh right now, I don't know how long it will take to fade, if it fades. He didn't really know how he loved you, just that he did. That's something he wanted you to know before he died, more than anything. That's, that's what I wanted you to know before I died in Black, I just didn't have the guts to say it. Didn't make the time. It's just something that needed saying and neither of us ever did."

"Shiro..."

"I love you."

Keith kissed him again, this time far calmer, short. Reassuring.

"As I love you."

They stared in each others eyes for a while undisturbed.

There was still a lot to deal with, still a lot that Shiro needed to work through in the mortal plane, both physical and mental. The Paladins had a vacation to take. Shiro had a dinner with the Holts to follow up on. He had Olcari and Taujeerians to see. He'd settle in with Keith.

Shiro would live as long as he could, as best he could. He knew without a doubt, no matter what, Keith would be there. Maybe… Maybe Shiro had a ring to buy and a question to ask, or maybe their marks had the same effect, if visible. 

Yeah there was a lot to get to, and he would. But right now, with it being just him and Keith, he breathed in the moment and considered it all.

He had died and been given the gift of a second chance. It had been at the cost of another life, a clone, but still his own person.

A life for a life, he'd thought.

He'd been wrong before though, he hadn't known if his clone was gone before Allura transferred him in, so he could forgive himself for that. But he knew now.

If it had been true karma, Shiro would have died before Atlas took over, but he hadn't. 

He didn't deserve more lost time and the time lost hadn't been a gift for Atlas.

It wasn't some twisted karmic debt.

It was just a sentient crystal taking what wasn't owed.

"Hey, you okay?" Keith had pulled back, looking at him worriedly. Shiro smiled at him with certainty. 

"Yeah… Yeah I am."