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"This is your fault."
"Oh, come on. There's no way you can blame this on me."
"That's that, you said. Job well done, you said. NOTHING ELSE COULD GO WRONG, YOU SAID!"
"… Ok. I may have jinxed us. But you're the one who decided to go ahead and get in bed. You can't blame your current wardrobe on me."
"Fine! I'll just blame the fact that I'm going to dehydrate and die, stranded in the middle of the ocean, in my boxer briefs, on you. Thank you so fucking much."
"At least you're not alone?"
"…"
"Eh?"
"… There is that. Good job tossing that grenade into the face of their leader."
"Thanks, I wouldn't have had the chance if you hadn't tossed it to me. Where were you hiding that?"
"I had stashed emergency supplies all over that boat before we left port."
"Ah. That would explain why the explosion took out both ships."
"Yeah, but what tipped you off that we were being boarded?"
"Tony upgraded my 'aids before we left. They've got me at 95% now. I'm noticing every change in sound, it's kinda distracting, honestly."
"But lucky for us. You think Fury's going to miss his boat?"
"If he loaned it to us then he wasn't expecting it back in one piece. But if we see him again, we can give him this piece of their life boat. If, by some miracle we survive."
"Fuck him. We survive, I'm keeping it as a souvenir."
"…"
"…"
"Man, I knew I'd kick it from something stupid, but I thought I had more time."
"Shit. Don't tell me you're giving up so easily?"
"No? It's just I had plans for after this mission, you know?"
"So what? We'll get rescued last minute like always and after a few days to recoup you'll right back at it."
"Nah, kinda think I ruined it."
"Was it time sensitive? You didn't leave your oven on did you?"
"Har, har. No, it's not time sensitive. Just don't think they're going to be interested anymore."
"Oh. It's a person? They'd have to be out of their mind not to be interested. Just explain you got caught up in a work thing. They'll understand."
"Yeah… They don't know. I was going to ask them out when we got back. But they've got a pretty good idea of how much a disaster I am now, and I'm pretty sure they're going to want to stay clear."
"Aw, you're not a disaster. You should ask anyway. You never know until you try."
"Yeah, but sometimes that's better than knowing that the answer is absolutely not."
"C'mon man. Anybody should be proud to be asked out by you. You're an Avenger. You're kind. And you have the cutest dog. What's not to love? Just ask."
"Hey, Buck?"
"Yeah?"
"You wanna go out for dinner some time?"
"Me?"
"Yeah."
"I'm going to kill you."
"Geez, man forget I asked. I just thought…"
"No. I mean you wait until we're floating on a chunk of broken lifeboat, when any rapid movement could dump us into the ocean, to ask me out. And I can't kiss your stupid, handsome face when I tell you 'hell, fucking, yes.'"
"Um, sorry?"
"Hello, boys. Need a hand?"
"Tony!"
"Stark! Tell me that the Quinjet is on the way. I can't decide which I'm going to do to Clint first kiss or punch him."
"Oh, did he finally ask you out? 'Bout damn time Legolas. Quinjet's about five minutes out. Fury sent us to come get you after he finished bitching about losing another boat."