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T. J. was awake.
He didn’t know why—except he totally did and pretending was easier than acknowledging—but he did know that his parents were a lot quieter which for once, wasn’t great. Sure, their arguing had simmered down to minor bickering here and there thanks to some therapy and a lot of reminders from him and Amber, but for once he needed something else to think about instead of his current thoughts.
“Why the long face?”
“Said the farmer to his horse,” T. J. finished off, earning a weird look from Amber. He faltered slightly, thought immediately wandering to how Cyrus would have laughed at the use of the phrase.
“What?”
T. J. shook his head as if saying ‘nevermind’ plopping back onto his bed as Amber stepped into his room and shut the door behind her.
“Okay…not in a talking mood I see. Good. I’ll talk and you listen.”
Raising a brow and sitting up slowly, T. J. leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He didn’t say a word, noticing how fidgety Amber was acting. He shifted a bit, motioning to the now empty area on his bed and watching Amber move to sit beside him. The silence was heavy and T. J. could feel the anxious waves coming off his elder sister.
It wasn’t the distraction he’d expected, but it was welcome.
“How did you know?”
Easy enough question but without context, impossible to answer.
“Know what exactly? If this is about Math then the answer is never,” T. J. said easily.
Amber rolled her neck, small clicks making T. J. scrunch his nose. She must be stressed if her bones were making noises like that.
“How did you know you were gay?”
Oh.
Oh .
T. J. thought about the question for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. While he had never formally come out to his family, he had corrected his dad once when he mentioned ‘getting a girlfriend’. No one had cared as much as he had thought they would, instead insisting that happiness is more important than anything else.
T. J. had always wondered whether the issues between his parents had helped make it so simple for him to just come out without too much spotlight.
“Oh, well…I started to like someone. That’s all really,” T. J. said after a minute of trying to put it into words. His mind immediately went back to what he had been upset about as his mood dropped to a new low.
“But how can you be sure that you are if you haven’t told them?”
“Things like this you just know... and how do you know I haven’t told them?”
Amber tilted her head and raised a brow at him as if saying ‘really?’. T. J. shot her a look in return, leaning in with a bit of a sarcastic smile.
“Are you asking me about this because you like someone?” T. J. challenged.
A gasp.
“ Thelonius— ”
“Shut it!” T. J. warned, the two glaring at each other until the sound of their parent’s bedroom door slamming caught their attention. A moment later, a crash from downstairs that made them both jump. They waited for anything else, but after an agonizing minute, T. J. let out a breath.
“I just knew because even when I tried to get over him, he’d pop into my head somehow,” he admitted quietly, opting to get the ball rolling again. “When I was eating a certain food, I wondered if he’d like it too. Or if I found a sweater I really liked I wondered if he’d want to wear it to one of my games since he gets sick easily and the cold isn’t his friend. He’s so small he’d be swimming in it for sure.”
Amber listened intently, T. J. feeling a bit of heat reach his cheeks.
“I also wondered whether he’d like me at all considering the circumstances of how we even became friends but that isn’t as fun to think about when you already know the answer.”
“But you don’t because you haven’t told him.”
T. J. sighed. “I found out last week he used to have a girlfriend. Does that equal gay to you?”
“He could be bi!” Amber pointed out but T. J. smiled, this time it not reaching his eyes.
“Wasn’t this originally about you?”
Amber looked like she wanted to continue the conversation, but sighed and accepted that right now wasn’t the time. She rubbed her hands on the thighs of her jeans and nodded. “I think I have a crush on someone,” she admitted, the color in her face draining. “And it’s a girl that I never thought I’d ever like.”
The last part was spoken so fast that T. J. had to take a second to fill in the gaps between the words he missed. He hadn’t had much of a crisis with his own sexuality minus the Kira situation which ended relatively quickly after her apparent vendetta against Cyrus and Buffy. Despite his smooth transition into being who he was, he knew that Amber was different. Maybe it was a bigger deal for her because of things he didn’t and couldn’t ever understand.
“What a coincidence that the Kippen siblings happen to both be gay,” T. J. said to lighten the mood, Amber doing her best to smile back.
“Bi, but close enough.”
“Same difference.”
“You wish,” Amber joked, proceeding to twirl her hair as she kept her gaze on her lap. “I just…why did it have to be the girl I used to be so rude to? Not only that but we dated the same guy! She helped me with my guy problems and probably thinks I’m straight,” she groaned, T.J blinking before perking up.
“Andi? You like Andi?” T. J. said with wide eyes as Amber froze.
“How could you possibly know that?!”
Snorting, T. J. shifted so he could face her, one foot resting on the floor while his other leg rested on his comforter. “Jonah was the only guy you ever dated and swore you loved and from what I know he did date Andi at some point,” he pointed out, a lightbulb going off above his head as he pointed at her. “Wait, was the reason you said you didn’t love Jonah anymore because of—”
“Yes!” Amber snapped, face falling as she pressed her lips into a thin line. “Sorry…I just…I don’t know what to do. You’re the only person I could go to.”
T. J. and Amber might not have been the closest siblings, but it wasn’t like they hated each other. They had both gone through the mess of their father losing his job and their mother often losing her mind due to many things. Even with all that, he’d never seen Amber look so small. She was always so confident about everything even when it never involved her. She was one of the many reasons he made captain of the team and why he was able to face most things head-on.
Not that he’d ever admit that unless absolutely necessary.
“Well, lucky you, I happen to have become a great listener. Thank my new friends for showing me it’s possible.”
Amber let out an airy laugh, shaking her head. “I’ll thank them when you actually let me meet them. I’m starting to wonder if they’re even real.”
“Oh they’re real, and you might know them more than you think,” T. J. admitted.
Shock crossed Amber’s face, which turned into confusion and then suspicion. T. J. shifted to grab his cell phone off the dresser beside his bed. He swiped through his phone, holding it out in view as Amber read the contact name and practically lunged at his arm. She read the name over several times.
“You have Bambi’s number?!”
T. J. balanced himself, not having expected her to go all harpy on him. “Buffy and Cyrus are her best friends. They kinda talk about you when I’m around. Guess they don’t know we’re related.”
Amber looked like she was going to blue screen at any moment before tugging at his arm to get the phone within reach. “Give me her number!”
“Hey, you’re gonna break my phone!”
“I won’t if you just give me her number !”
The sound of his phone going off made them both freeze, ringtone echoing in the now silent room.
~in my heart. Take me higher, than I’ve ever been!~
He yanked his arm away, knowing from the song alone who it was.
“Hello?”
“Teej! I know we said we would head to The Spoon tomorrow, but do you mind if we move that over to Andi’s? Buffy apparently agreed to hang out with Marty which turned into Buffy suggesting that Jonah come and we make it a small get together and then Bowie and Bex said they’d be gone on a date so now—
A smile formed on his lips as he tilted his head, crossing his free arm over his chest and beginning to walk around the room. He waited patiently for Cyrus to finish, humming once he did to show he had been listening.
“So will you come as my plus one?”
“Oh? Is Underdog asking me out on a date? It’s so sudden,” T. J. teased as Cyrus let out a noise that sounded between a squeak and a sharp intake of air.
“And here I was going to offer a muffin to sweeten the pot…”
“A date and a muffin? You must really like me. I’m flattered,” T. J. gasped, smiling wider at Cyrus’s whine that followed.
“T. J.!”
Deciding to cut his friend some slack, the athlete chuckled. “Look, you know I’m there. We can totally hang out at Andi’s if that is what works better.”
Amber perked at the sound of that, smacking T. J.’s arm with both hands as the two violently whispered to each other about what was happening.
“Am I interrupting something? You sound like you’re talking to someone…?”
“Just my sister. Being the annoying person she was meant to be.”
Amber slapped him on the arm a final time, puffing her cheeks out in a way that reminded him of how she acted before their father had lost his job.
“I didn’t even know you had a sister. Does she go to our school?”
“Nah, she’s older. And I think you might know her but she doesn’t get out much anymore.”
T. J. stared Amber down for a moment before smirking, bringing the phone back to his ear and humming.
“Hey Underdog, if I’m doing you a favor, mind returning it?”
“So you’ll come? If yes, then sure! Anything.”
“Let me bring my sister along. She has nothing to do tomorrow night and my parents are probably gonna be bummed about her moping around the house.”
‘Moping??’ Amber mouthed as T. J. put his hand in her face and pushed her away while turning so his back faced her.
“Oh, of course. The more the merrier…trust me. Andi is trying to convince Buffy to watch a romance movie!”
T. J. tilted his head. “But you love romance movies.”
“Not when I’m stuck between a budding couple and an ex-couple, I don’t!”
Okay, that was actually a fair point.
“Well, don’t worry because with two siblings there it’ll balance out. You can even sit between us to stay safe.”
It was meant as a joke, but Cyrus let out a relieved sigh and thanked T. J. to the point that the basketball player wanted tomorrow to come sooner. After a bit more talking about details and whether anything needed to be brought as a peace offering, the two hung up and agreed to continue talking over text. With a content sight, T. J. turned back toward Amber and smiled.
“You’re welcome. I’ll expect repayment in the near future.”
Amber swallowed, still surprised that he’d gotten her an invite to her own crush’s house. “I’m going to die,” she whispered in a panic, pushing her hair from her face as she paced.
T. J. watched with amusement, listening to her ramble on and on about what could go wrong until his phone vibrated from beside him. He looked over to see it was a text from Cyrus and immediately picked it back up to read the full message.
Here’s the address and the choice of movies. Poll closes the night before. If you pick something scary I’ll never bake you another muffin in my life, Kippen! You’ve been warned.
Grinning at the ‘threatening’ text, T. J. failed to notice that Amber had stopped talking, staring at him and moving over his shoulder a bit to see who was making him look all weird like that. Spotting the name, her eyes lit up in realization.
T. J. wasn’t the only one good at guessing crushes and Amber suddenly knew exactly how to repay her little brother.
“What are you thinking about?” T. J. asked as he snapped her out of her thoughts.
“What to...wear! Have to look good and, uh, I’ll help you pick too!” Amber offered as T. J. raised a brow.
“It’s just a movie night, why would I care what I wore?”
“Because!” Amber insisted, T. J. backing up a bit at her outburst. “Just…” she let out a deep breath and pointed a finger at him. “Trust me. As your older sister,” she finished. She turned and left the room quickly, T. J. too confused to even attempted to make sense of what had gotten into her.
Shrugging it off, he plopped back onto his bed and could feel his eyes droop until another text came through. Eyeing both the text and the time, he bit his lower lip.
‘One more text won’t hurt….’