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" Oh, there's a chicken coop! " Louis walked to the house in the distance and came upon a sign.
" Someone has a chicken farm on this server? " The red deer took a closer look at the sign.
Please don't steal while we mine. Thank you
— Juno
" Just what I needed, " Louis thought.
Louis had plenty of wheat to supply himself, but when it came to his buddy and Minecraft roommate Legosi, he had no renewable source of meat.
" I'm just takin' a couple of eggs, but I will not steal anything, " Louis said to himself. " I'm not a thief. "
Louis hopped into the chicken coop from a nearby block and gathered a sizable collection of eggs, but then quickly realized he could not jump back out because fences are two blocks high.
" I've gotten myself into quite the pickle here, "
" Legosi, " Louis called on his Minecraft cell phone. " I can't get out, "
Louis gave Legosi his coordinates and hung up, but Legosi was back at the base and it would take him a while to get to Louis's position.
After a couple of minutes, though, Louis discovered a fence gate. " Bingo! "
He opened the gate fence and returned to freedom. However, three rogue chickens made a mad escape and started running off at absurdly high speeds.
" No! You little assholes! " He used his pickaxe to break the fence gate in order to get the chickens to return. " Get back in ! C'mere! "
But it only made the situation escalate. More chickens relentlessly flooded through the opening in their prison break.
" NO! " Louis shouted, " I'm making it so much worse! " He had disobeyed the signs pleas and made a mockery of himself.
" I'm so sorry! " Louis held too much pride to flee from the dastardly situation. " Oh my God, what do I do?! "
He then remembered that chickens could be lured with seeds. But whoever claimed this territory already cleared out the grass the naturally generated, and he had none in his inventory.
He dashed into a nearby forest to gather a seed, and promptly returned; but the sun had began to set by that time.
" Come on chickens, " He brought out the seed and rounded up the stray hens that had sparsely spread out after their vindication.
Legosi called Louis to tell him he was almost there. " Look, I'm on a chicken rescue mission, " Louis said as he walked back into the gate that once imprisoned countless chickens.
" Come in! " But the chickens did not squeeze through the tiny gateway and instead attempted to follow Louis from the outer ring of the gates.
" Oh my God, get your dumb asses in here! " Louis grew frustrated. " I'm gonna have to call you back, " Louis hung up in a rage but the chickens did not comply to his demands and in turn began to spread out despite the seed-y temptation.
" Get in the stupid cage! " Dozens of chickens dispersed in the chaos and Louis had to wrangle them up again. " These are the dumbest chickens... "
Night had fallen and, many swear words later, Louis gathered all of the chickens into one orderly position and was able to cajole them carefully in between the fence gate.
" Here we go, they're coming in-- " Before soon, the last chicken willingly returned back to its fence prison, and as if no one had been there at all, peace was restored to the chicken coop.
He quickly put the fence gate back and retrieved all of the chickens with success. " Yes! I did it! " Though Louis's triumphant celebration was cut short by a tragic thought.
" Now I'm back in the same predicament where now I don't know how to get out again, " Louis stood for a moment. " How am I gonna get out of here?! "
Suddenly, Louis realized it was midnight and mobs had started to spawn.
" Oh great, " He could already see a zombie coming towards him— and in an impossible series of events, the zombie's AI led it to jump into the coop from the same block that Louis had originally used to enter.
" Oh, GREAT! " He brandished his diamond sword and swung without mercy; though one thing he didn't take into account is that swords like his deal AoE damage; and by swinging at the zombie, Louis had inadvertently fatally wounded several chickens in his wake.
" Oh, no! No no no no no! " A second zombie leaped into the cage and Louis had no way to defend himself; should he swing at the zombie, he would also be putting the chickens at risk and he did not dare soil his integrity-- He was at a loss.
But then, Legosi came to the rescue! The hybrid wolf man charged forward, wooden-sword in hand. He saw that his deer buddy was in danger!
" Legosi! " Louis yelled out. " Thank GOD! " But before he could continue further, Legosi began to hack away at the two zombies that were mugging his deer friend.
" No! " Louis cried out, but it was too late. Legosi had consequently slaughtered a couple of merciless chickens in his brave act of zombie slaying.
" Don't hit the chickens! " Louis screamed in the chaos, but it was no use. Squawking, falling over into a shade of red, and then poofing into nothing but uncooked meat, the defenseless poultry met their untimely demise.
" All the chickens are dying! " Legosi was successful in eliminating the zombie threat, but what did it cost? Everything. Only four of the couple dozen chicken remained, and whoever this coop belonged to would surely be in for a rude surprise when they returned from their mining trip.
" Oh my God! " Louis face palmed. " Oh my Goooood! " How was Louis going to explain this? He simply couldn't run away from the scene and pretend it wasn't his doing!
But as it turns out, Legosi was also to blame; for his hands and wooden sword were ridden with the blood of innocent chicken.
Louis turned to Legosi, who was standing nonchalantly outside of the gate next to the chest that held the sign that said not to steal.
Louis was livid. He was about to heap his lid, but as he looked up, he saw an all-too familiar face creeping up behind his wolf buddy. Louis swore he could remember those eyes, eyes eyes, eyes eyes eyes eyes.
" Legosi! " Louis cried out, but there was simply no time to react.
Ssssss...
Legosi turned around, and was face-to-face with the one and only creeper. One inch away, staring it right in the face as it sizzled and flashed white. Legosi could not even speak before an enormous explosion engulfed him and Louis could only watch in horror from within the chicken fence.
[ Legosi was blown up by Creeper. ]
Louis dragged his hands down his face and sighed.
" I literally predicted that-- I knew that was going to ha-- "
Ssssss...
Louis didn't even have time to register what was happening before his heart quite literally sank.
[ KABOOM ! ]
Chunking off half of his HP and decimating an enormous deal of property damage around the fence, another rogue creeper inadvertently exploded, ending the lives of the final four chicken that remained in the coop... Or what was left of it, at least.
Between the enormous hole that was left in the wake of Legosi's death, and the explosion that left the chicken coop in ruins, there was no mending the catastrophe that the two boys had brought upon the unfortunate homeowner's land.
To make matters worse, Louis was being mobbed by Phantoms that swooped down, just to add salt to the wounds.
Insult to injury, it was-- And Louis could do nothing but accept the despairing fate that had unfolded before his eyes.
" I literally just wanted to loot some eggs! " Louis sobbed, head buried in his hands. " I didn't mean for any of this! "
As if to put an end to Louis's miserable life, a skeleton shot the deer boy in the head, ending him right then and there, his items scattering in the dust.
[ Louis was shot by Skeleton. ]
As Louis layed there, screen tinted red with a humiliating [ You Died! ] message, he thought to himself,
" I just wanted some Goddamn eggs. "