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Norman was eight when this all started.
He was coming back from the park, where he was playing with his friends, when he heard an angry hiss. He looked around, in search of the source of sound, and that's when he saw it.
The black kitten was standing on top of a trash can, with its fur bristled, hissing at the much bigger, brown cat, that was standing on the concrete, and looking up with squinted eyes.
Boy was looking at the scene. The smaller animal looked so distressed that he just couldn't leave it.
"Shush, go away," he said loudly, waving his hands at the brown cat.
The animal, like a typical stray, run away when the human approached. But the black one stayed in his place, looking at Norman.
"He was bothering you, right?" Norman spoke, even if he was old enough to know that the cat didn't understand him. "You're okay now."
He slowly reached out, and tried to pet it, but the animal moved away from his hand.
"You don't like being touched? It's okay," boy said, smiling reassuringly. "Hey, maybe you're hungry? If you come with me I can get you something to eat."
To his surprise cat seemed to understand, because it jumped to the ground, and looked at Norman, waving its tail slowly. It was almost as if it was saying: 'What are you waiting for? Lead the way'.
Boy happily obliged, and took the cat to his house that was nearby.
His father was at work, so Norman used this opportunity and took some ham from the fridge. He also filled the bowl with fresh water and brought it to the cat, that was waiting for him on the porch.
Cat sniffed both water and ham, and apparently it didn't sense anything dangerous, because a moment later the animal was eating.
Norman was crouching next to it, and watching how its ears were moving when it was chewing.
"You really are cute, huh?" Boy said, and he was almost sure that he saw the cat tensing its muscles, as if it really could understand what Norman said and didn’t like it. But it was impossible, so he suspected it was just a play of light.
When cat finished eating and drank the water, it looked Norman in the eyes. Boy, surprised, felt that those eyes were more intelligent than eyes of any other cat that he ever saw.
Whatever cat saw in the human's eyes, it seemed to accept it (okay, that was stupid thinking, cats can't be that intelligent to read something from your eyes, right?), because it came closer and lied next to Norman. Animal closed its eyes next, and it looked like it was going to sleep.
Boy was thrilled that the cat seemed to accept him already, so he slowly changed his position, so now he was sitting, with his back to the wall of the house. After a moment he uncertainly put his hand on cat's back. It opened one eye to look at him, but then it closed it back, so Norman started slowly stroking its back and neck.
They were sitting like that for a while, and Norman started feeling sleepy too, but that's when he saw his father's car in the driveway.
Soon after James Ratri came into the porch, and furrowed his brows when he saw his son.
"Why are you sitting here, Norman?"
"I..."
Before boy had a chance to answer the cat opened its eyes and sit up. Man saw the movement and was surprised, when he saw the black animal. He looked at it for a moment, and cat was looking back at him, and its look seemed hostile. Norman was worried that the cat might actually attack his father, so he put his hand on its nape, believing that he would be able to stop it, if needed. But cat wasn't moving, and James looked up at his son.
"You wanna keep it?"
Norman blinked in surprise. He couldn't say that the thought didn't cross his mind. But he was sure his father will be against the idea, so he wasn't dwelling on it.
He looked at the cat, which was now looking at some birds flying nearby. It seemed undisturbed, but its neck was tense, so Norman scratched it. Cat meowed at that, and boy smiled.
"If I could..." he said, looking at his father with big, blue eyes.
"I don't see why not."
"Really? Thank you, dad!"
Boy threw himself on James to hug him, and man smiled. But then he looked back at the cat, with some kind of warning in his eyes, and cat... rolled its eyes.
But Norman didn't see any of this.
***
Two years have passed.
Ray (that's how he named the kitty, after his father told him it was a boy) was a weird cat. He was spending a lot of time God knows where, he only accepted Norman's touch, he seemed to be weirdly perspective, and Norman was sometimes sure that he understood him, when the boy was talking.
Nevertheless, he really grew close to him.
Rainy days were much more pleasant, if beside the book he had the cat napping next to him, and he could pet his head from time to time. When boy was coming come, and at the door was greeted by the black ball of fur, nudging at his legs, and when later he was feeding the cat and could tell him about his day, it was nice. Also, not being alone in the house, when his father had to stay longer at work.
Even if since he got Ray unexplainable things started happening…
Like that one time when he came back home earlier, because his classes were cancelled. Norman found Ray in his room, sitting next to an open book. He had no idea how cat could throw it from the shelf, especially that it was standing between two other books.
Or the thing with the bullies from his school. He didn't tell anybody (beside Ray, and he was sure that his father wasn't listening) about guys that were bothering him, and shoving him around in school for being a nerd. But still one day they came to school with black eyes, and they were staying away from Norman since then.
There was also a question who put a blanket on him one night, when he fell asleep by his desk, studying. Because his father said that he wasn't coming into his room.
Those, and other little things, made Norman feel uneasy sometimes. As if he was looking at the picture, but one small part was missing. He knew what was on the picture, sure, the missing piece was very little after all. But still, the picture wasn't complete, and he couldn't know if the missing part wasn't containing something important.
Boy sighed. He shouldn't have such a philosophical thoughts during Friday dinner. He put away his unfinished food, and went to the living room, where Ray was napping on the couch.
"Hey, buddy. I'm gonna sit here with you for a little, okay?"
He needed to take his mind off things, so he tried watching TV, but he was too distracted. He was beginning to feel frustrated. It wasn't his day.
Suddenly he felt a nudge in a thigh. He looked down, and saw that Ray was trying to get into his lap. It was unusual for cat, so Norman took away the remote control he was holding on top of his thigh, and let the animal get there instead. When he did, he put his front paws at boy's chest, and then licked his neck once, before he sat, and started looking at boy from his lap.
"Aw, you're trying to make me feel better?" Boy smiled, and started scratching cat behind ears.
Then they heard the front doors opening, and they both moved their heads in that direction, to see James entering the house.
"Hey."
"Hi, dad."
There was a silence for a moment, when Ray moved to lie instead of sitting, and James was taking off his jacket. Then he came to the living room and kissed the top of Norman’s head.
"How was your day?"
Boy didn't want to lie, but he also didn't know how to explain how he was feeling, so he just made some unidentified sound and shrugged.
"Something happened?" James asked, sitting next to him.
"No, just... I can't really focus on anything today, and I feel like I'm wasting the day, and I still didn't do my homework, and I... I just feel like maybe I'm too stupid for it all," Norman admitted, looking at the black ball in his lap.
"Hey, Norman." He could hear disapproval in his father's voice. He knew he shouldn't think like that, but he sometimes felt really, really stupid, even if his grades weren't suggesting it. "Look at me."
Boy raised his gaze, and James fixed a lost strand on his son's face.
"Maybe we'll make a movie marathon tonight, what do you say? I think we both need a break."
"It would be nice," Norman admitted. It's been some time since he and his father were binge watching movies together.
"And next weekend we can get out of town. I think Ray would love it, too."
As if he was answering (or maybe it was due to Norman still scratching his head) cat purred. Norman laughed quietly.
"I think it's a great idea."
"See? Everything's gonna be okay," James said, smiling. "And you know that if you need help with your homework you can always ask me, right?"
"Yes, I know."
James stood up, probably to go and heat up dinner.
"Dad," Boy called out, when man was almost out of the room. He stopped and turned in his son's direction. "I love you."
James smiled softly when he answered.
"I love you, too."
***
Everything changed soon after Norman's eleventh birthday.
At first, it was a normal day, and nothing was indicating the events that were about to happen. Norman woke up in the morning, changed his clothes, ate breakfast, patted Ray, brushed his teeth and went to school. School was like always. Although, one of his classmates seemed to be sick, so without Emma it was a little quieter than usual. Boy came back home, ate dinner, and took a glass of juice to his room, when he went to do his homework. But he got a little distracted, and he accidentally threw the glass from the desk.
Norman, still lost in thought, crouched down to pick up the pieces of broken glass, when someone screamed.
"What the hell are you doing?! Be careful!"
But no one was in the room beside him and…
"You're really stupid or what? You could have hurt yourself."
Norman was looking at the cat. He could see that his mouth was moving and could hear the words, but it didn't make any sense.
"You can talk?"
Only then Ray seemed to realize what he did, because his eyes widened.
"Shit."
Norman pinched himself on the arm. He felt the pain, so it wasn't a dream.
"Ray?"
Cat was silent, but Norman heard him talking just moments ago. Was he hallucinating?
He grabbed animal by the skin on his nape, and lift him up, so they were at the same eye level.
"Ray?"
"Okay, okay, I'll talk! Just let me go. Sheesh."
Norman blinked a few times, and put the cat back on the bed.
"What is going on?"
"So... I'm not a cat. Well not entirely. I am also a human, so yeah, I can talk."
"Wha- How?" Norman was understanding the full of nothing.
"I'm a shifter. I can change forms."
"Is this some kind of joke?"
"No, I... ugh, I'd rather avoid doing it, but... okay."
Suddenly he started growing, his fur disappearing, and when Norman blinked, in the place where just a moment earlier was sitting a cat, now was a boy. With hair as black as Ray's fur, and eyes with the same shape, even if they weren't yellow but gray. But something in his movements, when he started stretching, reminded Norman of a cat.
"I hate this form," boy muttered, before looking at Norman. ''Ta dam. I'm a cat, I'm a human."
Norman was looking at him in silence, before he just turned, and left the room.
"Dad... I think something weird happened. But I swear I didn't take any drugs or anything." Norman came into kitchen, still confused.
James, alarmed by his words, looked from the coffee he was just making. He saw his son entering and standing next to the fridge. And behind him came other boy, with unruly black hair.
"So you finally told him?" He calmly asked the boy.
"I didn't really have a choice when he heard me talking." Ray said, sitting at one of bar stools.
"Wait! You... You knew?" Norman asked his father, and his voice was a far cry from calm.
"Of course I knew he's a shapeshifter."
"So I'm not sleeping, nor I'm hallucinating. And you knew for... how long?"
"From the beginning. But he seemed to be comfortable in that form, so I didn't say anything to any of you. But from the way Ray was looking at me I could tell, that he was aware that I know."
"I can't believe it. How is that even possible?" Norman asked, grabbing his head.
"They are many things in this world that you don't know about, Norman."
White hair boy looked as if he was moments from a breakdown. Ray made a move, as if he wanted to stand up and go to him, but then remembered that he was the cause of it. So he just put his elbow on the counter, and put chin in his hand, hiding his emotions and being the image of the complete boredom.
"Listen, son..."
"How do you know about it? How did you know Ray is a... a shapeshifter?" Norman looked at his father with big eyes, lost and confused.
"Because I knew a shifter once," James answered quietly, turning his back on boys, and coming back to making coffee. "It was a long time ago, but I just recognised some signs. It's not something you forget."
He turned with two cups in hands, put one in front of Ray, and took a sip from the second one. Boy looked at it, surprised, before he took the cup in his hands.
"And what-"
"They died." Man said shortly, not waiting for the rest of the question. "It was bloody, and I don't wanna talk about it." His tone clearly suggested that it was the end of this particular conversation.
There was a silent for a moment, when Norman was collecting his thoughts, but finally it was James who spoke.
"Listen, Ray, maybe you should..."
"It's actually a good thing that you gave me a normal name," boy interrupted him. "I can't imagine being called Fluffy, Binky or something like that. This situation would be so much weirder."
"What do you mean?" Norman looked at him, brows furrowed. "You're looking my age, so I suspect you were around eight back then, too. You must have had a human name before I named you."
"I didn't," he said shortly. "I was always referred to as ‘It’ or other, less nice names." His smile was cold.
Norman opened his mouth to say something, but other boy didn't let him. He took last sip of his coffee and jumped from the stool.
"So, it was nice, but I guess I'll be going."
"Where?" Norman asked.
"Don't know. I doubt I'll find other family to take me in... I don't even want to. Then I'll probably just stay on the streets." Ray sighed, looking outside the window. He really didn't want to leave.
"Why?"
"I mean, now that you guys are kicking me out, I-"
"What?!" Norman interrupted him, and Ray looked at him, surprised by the panic in his voice. "Dad, we're kicking Ray out?"
"It depends on you, Norman. I've always known who I'm inviting into my house, so it doesn't make any difference for me. But now you know the truth, you have to decide what you want. I'd rather not to, but if he's gonna make you uncomfortable, then maybe it'll be better if we find him another home."
"Of course I want Ray to stay with us! It doesn't matter that he's a shifter or a fairy. He's still Ray."
"Norman..." Boy had tears in his eyes, but he tried to hide it, by blinking rapidly.
"So you're gonna stay with me, right, Ray? We're gonna be friends," Norman said, extending his hand to the boy. Ray looked at it for a moment before he took it. Then Norman pulled him into the hug.
"Yeah," shifter muttered, with his face in Norman's arm. "I'll stay."
James only looked at them with a little smile on his lips.
***
Everything kind of continued just like it was before.
Ray was staying all the time in his cat form (if he was changing Norman didn't see it), and mostly acting like cat, but sometimes, when he felt like it, he was talking to Norman or James. Norman discovered that he really liked talking with him. Ray was really intelligent, he apparently was reading a lot of books when they weren’t home. He also knew a lot of funny stories about animals he met before Ratri took him in. He sometimes even answered Norman’s questions about shapeshifters, and how it was to be a cat.
One day Norman suggested that maybe he could just eat dinner with them normally, and shapeshifter just snorted, and went back to his bowl (now it finally made sense why his father always was giving him normal food instead of cat food. Ray told Norman once that it was really nice of him, because he probably was aware that, even if his taste buds also changed when he transformed, so he could eat cat food, he still knew what he was eating and it was making the experience unpleasant.)
"Ray, why do you hate your human form so much?" Norman asked one day, when they were sitting by the window, watching the world being covered in snow.
"You would hate it too, if your mother would beat you up to unconsciousness every time you slipped into it."
"What?" Boy looked from the window at black cat lying next to him.
"She tried to teach me control of my transformations. When I was little I couldn't control it, and I was randomly changing. And, because I was born in human form, it was more natural for me, so I was often slipping from cat to human, when I wasn't concentrating enough. She wanted me to learn how to fully control it, and change whenever I like, not when something just triggers it. After all it worked." His voice lacked any emotions, but he wasn't looking at Norman.
Boy put a hand on his head, and scratched him behind ears.
"But it still doesn't mean it was a good method."
"Just like she wasn't a good mother," cat answered, leaning into the touch.
"She knows where you are now?"
"She's dead."
"Good," Norman said, looking outside the window. He really meant it. He wouldn't accept anyone hurting Ray.
***
Having Ray acting like a cat most of the time had its pros and cons.
The advantage was that, when Norman was in a mood, he could take the cat in his arms and pet him, rub his stomach, just cuddle him. Sometimes, when he was tired, he was humming something along the lines of:
"Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty..."
Ray was always acting annoyed (which also was one of Norman's goals, because it was funny when he was getting like that), but he couldn't do anything about it. Norman was bigger so, if Ray wanted to escape from his hold he would have to scratch Norman, or change forms. But boy knew he wouldn't do any of it. And maybe he would feel bad about it, if he didn't know that Ray secretly loves it.
The flaws? He was getting away with too much.
For example, when Emma, who was one of his closest friends, was visiting Norman, Ray was always hissing at her. Norman was letting it slide before he knew the truth, too. But now he tried to talk to him, so he would stop.
"Ray, stop it."
Hiss.
"Calm down, idiot."
Hiss.
"Ray, I'm begging you."
Hiss.
"What are you, five?"
"But you know he doesn't understand you, right?" Emma asked, looking at them, with an uncertain smile on her lips.
"Yes, of course I know this," Norman answered, feeling his face heating up, and throwing the cat a dirty look.
"He's just a cat, let him be." The girl waved her hand, and tried to touch the black ball of fur. Norman had to quickly grab him in his arms and away from her.
"He doesn't like to be touched," he reminded her.
"Of course, sorry."
And every time, when Norman tried to talk to him about that, he was just ignored.
But... It was life, right? It had its ups and downs and nobody was perfect.
And it didn't matter if Norman was reading book, with Ray lying on his shoulders and reading with him. Or if he argued with him about something, and the cat, as an act of revenge, was getting at his desk, looking him in the eyes, and throwing things off.
Norman knew that he wouldn't change it for anything else, because he was happy to have Ray with him. After all he was his friend.
***
Norman woke up abruptly. His room was still dark, so it was probably the middle of the night. He remembered he had a nightmare, and he was still breathing heavily because of it. He tried to calm himself, when he felt something soft on his face. Only then he noticed that Ray was sitting next to his head, putting his paw on Norman's cheek.
"Oh, hey. You woke me up?"
Cat only nodded, looking at him with big eyes that looked worried.
"Thanks," he said, trying to smile.
"You wanna talk about it?" Ray asked quietly after a moment.
"No, it's just stupid nightmare. Go back to sleep."
Ray looked him in the eyes, and then started lying down on Norman's pillow, next to his head.
"What are you doing?"
He was always sleeping in his own bed, that Norman made for him, when he 'adopted' the cat. And even if Norman was sometimes trying to take him to his bed, Ray was always escaping.
"Going back to sleep."
"Here? But what if I crush you in my sleep? I don't want to hurt you accidentally. I couldn't live with it, if I would lose you, or hurt..."
"Stop saying embarrassing things," Ray hissed. "If you start crushing me, then I just change into human to shove you off. Now go to sleep, stupid Norman."
"Oh... Okay. Goodnight, Ray."
"Night."
With the feeling of another living being next to him Norman was fast back asleep. He didn't have any more nightmares.
***
The years were passing, and it started bothering Norman that Ray was always staying in his cat form. Actually, they were both seventeen now, and he almost forgot how his human face looked like.
"Ray, I think you should at least try giving a chance for your human form."
"That again? I'm leaving," he said, standing up, and trying to leave the room.
"No, you're not," Norman said, grabbing him, and holding him in outstretched arms, so he would look him in the eyes. "Listen, we're getting older. Do you really wanna stay a cat for the rest of your life? There's so many things you're missing from human life. You're half-human, too! Give that part a chance."
"Humans are annoying."
"Just like you."
"Humans are bad."
"I am human."
Ray rolled his eyes.
"All I want is for you to try. You don't even have to leave the house, if you don't feel comfortable with it."
"If I'll do it, will you shut up?"
"Yes," Norman said smiling.
"Fucking wonderful," he sighed. "Then I'm gonna 'give it a chance'. Happy?"
"How often?" Boy knew he has to specify this, or Ray will weasel his way out of it.
"Two times a week?"
"Okay, so let's make it a one day. For one day, every week, you'll stay in your human form."
Something softened in Ray's eyes.
"Okay, we have a deal."
"Great," Norman kissed cat in the nose (he hissed in response), and put him on the ground.
Still, Norman didn't expect the view he got, when he entered the kitchen next morning. Ray was standing, leaning on the counter and drinking coffee from the cup, but…
"Don't look so shocked now, when you were the one who wanted it," boy said in a bored tone.
It wasn't that he was surprised to see Ray's human form, but... the fact that he was way hotter than Norman remembered. His hair were messed up, covering one of his eyes. He was tall, even if a little shorter than Norman. He was lean, but didn't look weak. And his eyes... Norman remembered that they were gray, but were they always so pretty? And he could swear that they had some yellow tones in them.
He would stay there, blushing and gaping, for longer, and probably would end up saying something stupid, if it wasn't for his father.
James blinked twice upon seeing Ray, and then turned to make breakfast, changing his usual "Good morning, Norman." to "Morning, boys." without asking any questions.
"Good morning, Mr. Ratri."
"Oh, please, Ray, why so official? We've been living together for nine years. Just call me James."
Ray blinked in surprise.
"Oh, okay. You need help with anything?"
"You know how to cook?"
"I've been watching you doing it for years after all. So, I can at least try, when your son is... acting weird," Ray said, looking at Norman, who was still standing in the same place, with strange expression. "I don't know what's wrong with him, it was his idea."
James only smiled, and started preparing breakfast with Ray. He had an idea what was happening with his boy, but it wasn't his place to talk. But he was sure that some things are gonna change soon.
***
Norman woke up and was lying on his bed, facing the ceiling.
"Are you awake?" He heard Ray's voice, so he turned to smile at the small creature sitting next to him.
"What, kitty is hungry?"
Ray didn't answer. He was looking at him for a moment, with his head tilted. Norman was about to ask if something's wrong, when he suddenly changed into his human form.
"What are those?" Boy asked, gently touching Norman's nose and cheeks. "You didn't have freckles yesterday."
Norman shivered when Ray touched him. His fingers were warm and so gentle, he wanted to close his eyes and lean into the touch. It was... really nice.
Only after a moment he registered what other boy said.
"Oh, um, they're out? Ah... they're only showing in the summer."
"I never saw them until now." His hand was still wandering on Norman's face, and he could feel that he starts blushing.
"Because I always do everything to prevent that. But yesterday someone," he threw dirty look at Ray, "was insisting on suddenly going outside. I didn't expect we're gonna stay there for so long, and I must have caught some sun."
"I don't know why you're avoiding them, you..." Suddenly Ray took away his hand, and moved away from Norman. "They suit you."
Norman blinked, surprised.
"You really think so?"
Ray didn't answer. He changed into the cat, and head for the door. Norman only heard something that could be a ‘yes’, or a sneeze. And when he went downstairs, and sat to eat breakfast with his father, Ray was only teasing him that now he looks like little copy of James even more.
Norman only rolled his eyes.
***
Norman really wasn't expecting how much this deal, with Ray staying in his human form, is gonna backfire at him.
He did it, because he wanted to help him. Boy knew that he hated being human mostly because of his mother, but Norman thought that he was losing so much. He should at least see for himself how it was being a human, and maybe he would like it.
And it seemed that he was right. Because one day, he woke up to see boy in his human form for the second time that week. Norman asked him about it, surprised, and Ray said that he apparently had to mix something up, but if he started the day as a human he can end it as one as well.
It happened again next week. This time Norman didn't say anything. He just accepted the fact, and let Ray do whatever he was comfortable with.
But the thing was that Norman's heart was taking it badly.
It wasn't just the fact that he was handsome (although it wasn't helping). But human Ray was talking much more. He was also more shy, and when he was blushing, he looked just so adorable. He wasn't leaving the house, so he was looking for Norman's companion. And Norman liked it. He liked him.
Shit, it wasn't normal. But it's not like he could stop his feelings.
He thought he could deal with it. Until one morning, he woke up being surrounded by the pair of arms.
After that nightmare Ray started sleeping in his bed more often. And so he did the previous night. And it seemed that (Norman didn't know if it was conscious or not) somewhere during the night he changed forms, and hugged Norman from behind. So now boy was having Ray's arms around him, and was feeling his slowly breathing on his nape.
And Norman was happy. He was so happy, that Ray was feeling comfortable enough for him to change into his human form. Good enough to hug him, even if he wasn't usually really touchy.
Maybe a little too happy, because he wanted to turn around, move hair from his face, and kiss his cheeks and forehead until he wakes up. He wanted to see Ray's eyes slowly opening, and he wanted it for more than just one day.
He was so fucked.
Later that day (after Norman sneak out of bed, Ray came downstairs ten minutes later, as a cat, and he didn't comment on what happened at night, neither did Norman), boy decided that he needs to talk with somebody or he's gonna explode.
So he made some lunch and a coffee, shouted to Ray that he's leaving, and took the bus to his father's work.
"Ah, if it isn't young mister Ratri." The janitor smiled warmly at him. "It's been some time since I saw you here."
"Because I finally stopped forgetting my keys, and I'm letting my father work in peace," boy laughed.
"Not today," old man pointed out, raising his brow.
"Today, I'm trying to be a good son," Norman said, raising up the paper bag and the thermos.
"Ah, that indeed you are. I believe you remember the way?"
"It’s not like I was here so long ago to forget, no worries."
He waved goodbye to the man, and took the elevator to 14th floor. There he walked down the corridor, and knocked on the door to his father's office.
"Come in!"
James Ratri was sitting behind his desk. He was wearing a white shirt and black suit pants without wrinkles. His expression was serious, and all of this was making him look like some important and powerful director.
But upon seeing his son, his eyes softened.
"Norman, what are you doing here? Everything's okay?"
"I brought you lunch. And I believe coffee is still warm. Your break is soon right?"
"My break can start now," he said, pressing some buttons on his computer’s keyboard, and standing up. "Come on."
He led them to the couch standing in the corner, so that they wouldn't sit separated by the desk, and took the bag and cup from Norman.
"So..." man took a sip, and looked at his son. "What happened?"
Boy knew that pretending that this visit was purely social will be pointless, his father would see right through it. Besides, he came here to talk, not to act as if everything was okay.
"I was wondering... What if I started having feelings for someone?"
"Then this girl is very lucky."
Norman took a deep breath, and looked his father in the eyes.
"It's not a girl."
"Oh, really?" James’ surprise was obviously fake, Norman could tell.
"But you knew this," he sighed, and shook his head. "Am I that obvious?"
"You should have seen your face, when he fell asleep, with his head on your lap last weekend. If I wasn't suspecting something by then, I would certainly start after that."
"But you were already thinking that something is going on."
James put the bag and thermos away, and put a hand on boy's knee.
"I'm your father, Norman. And I like to think that I'm the person that knows you the best. So yes, I had a feeling that something is up for a while now."
"And what am I supposed to do with that?" Norman asked silently. He looked up, and James was surprised to see tears in his eyes.
"Hey, it's okay. There's nothing wrong in you having those feelings."
He scooted closer to his son, and embraced him. Boy hugged him back immediately, hiding his face in his father's chest.
"But they complicate everything. It would be easier without them."
"Easier doesn't always mean better."
"But I don't know what to do."
"I won't tell you this either. You need to listen to your heart, and do whatever it tells you. You're a good boy, and your heart knows best, you just have to be brave enough to trust it."
"And what if I'm not?" Norman asked in a small voice, hugging his father tighter. "If I'm not brave enough?"
"Then you'll have to wait, and search for this bravery somewhere. But I'll tell you where you should start." James moved away from the boy, and put a hand on his chest. "Here. I know it's there, even if it's hidden."
Norman rubbed his eyes to get rid of the tears.
"Thanks, dad.”
"Anytime," James smiled, and pulled him into another hug.
"I wrinkled your shirt," boy noticed.
"Like I care about it," man huffed. "I'm not your uncle."
Norman snorted at that.
"You remember that time, during one of those awful family meetings, when you hugged him, while you had all your hands in chocolate? You messed his white suit, and he didn't notice, until someone asked him about those stains an hour later."
Boy started laughing.
"I did it, because you told me to!"
"I did, didn't I?" James smirked.
They started recalling other pranks, that both of them pulled on some of the family members. Ultimately, they concluded that, they were probably the reason why those things stopped happening. And none of them was going to complain about it.
When Norman was coming back home he was in a much better mood. And it was only slightly caused by his father saying that, if Norman brought him lunch, then he's gonna stop by boy’s favourite diner, on his way home, to bring something from there for dinner.
***
Norman thought a lot about what James told him.
He knew what his heart was telling him. It was screaming so loud, it was hard not to hear. His heart wanted him to confess, and hope for the best. It wanted for them to hold Ray in their arms, and kiss him. Fall asleep and wake up beside him. Being more than just friends.
But it wasn't that simple.
"Norman, hey." Emma waved her hand in front of his face. "You're spacing out again."
"Ah, sorry." He smiled sheepishly at her.
"For once we can talk in peace, because your cat is not around so, come on, tell me. What's bothering you?"
"It's nothing important, really."
"C'mon, Norman! You're my friend, and if something's on your mind I wanna help."
"It's just... there is this person that I like," he admitted, feeling his cheeks heating up.
"Ohhh, okay. So, what's the problem?"
"I can't really tell them that."
"Why?" Girl asked, tilting her head.
"That would destroy everything."
"That excuse is as old as the hills," Emma said, crossing hands on her chest. "You don't know if they don't feel the same way."
"But we have a really... complicated relationship. It's already weird, and it could become worse."
"Like... friends with benefits?"
"No! Not like that!" He hid his face in hands for a moment. "It's more like... we're just from different worlds. I'm afraid it won't work out."
"You won't know until you try."
Norman sighed. He should have known that's what Emma would say. But she just couldn't know how complicated was the situation, when someone you love was sometimes becoming a cat.
"You’re probably right." He said it in hope she's gonna leave the subject, but for the next ten minutes he was forced to listen to her pep talk.
When she left, half an hour later, Norman was feeling so tired that he went to his room, intending to take a nap.
"What are you doing?"
Boy heard Ray's voice, and lifted his head from bed to see cat sitting on his desk.
"Sleeping."
"I thought it was cats’ domain to sleep during the day."
Norman laughed quietly.
"Maybe you and I have more in common than you thought?"
"Really? And here I thought we're from different worlds?"
Boy felt a shiver going down his spine. He sat up, and looked at Ray with wide eyes.
"You heard my talk with Emma." It wasn't a question.
Cat snorted.
"And I still kind of hoped you weren't talking about me. Guess I was wrong." His voice sounded bitter.
"Ray, it's not what you think..."
"No? So you don't think you can't be with me, cause I'm a cat? Oh, wait, maybe it's hard to talk to me like that." He transformed, and his human form was standing next to the desk, with hands inside pockets of his jeans. His eyes were dark, and his jaw was clenched.
"You know I have no problem talking to you, no matter which form you're in," Norman said, standing up, so he could look him in the eyes.
"But you can't be with me. And I stupidly thought that you're the only person that understands me. That you accept me..."
"Because I do!"
"BUT YOU CAN'T LOVE ME BECAUSE OF WHO I AM," Ray screamed, and Norman's heart broke, when he saw tears in his eyes. "You're just like my mother," he added, much quieter.
"That's not true. I would never hurt you."
"You're hurting me right now."
"Ray, please, you have to understand. It's... I need time to work out my feelings. After all, it's an unusual situation. I know it's gonna be hard..."
"And did you consider MY feeling, Norman? I love you since we were fourteen! But have you thought about it? How hard it is for me?"
Norman stopped. He didn't know if he was more surprised by the words he just heard, or the fact that Ray's eyes suddenly became yellow, and there were cat's ears on his head.
He took a step closer and extended a hand, but Ray immediately took a step back.
"Don't touch me."
And before Norman had a chance to say anything, he turned and run from the room.
"Ray!"
White hair boy run after him, but he only heard the front door closing, and when he went outside, Ray was nowhere to be seen.
"Norman, what's going on? Why were you two screaming?"
James stood behind him, and Norman turned to him, with tears in his eyes.
"It's Ray, he's gone."
"What do you mean ‘gone’?" James furrowed his brows. "What happened?"
Norman told him everything, with shaky voice.
"I can't lose him. What if something happens to him now? I can't just lose him like that. I have to find him, and..." He started hyperventilating.
"Hey, hey, Norman." His father took him by his shoulders. "Calm down, we're gonna find Ray, but now you have to breath, son. Okay? Slowly. Breath in, breath out."
It took him a moment, but he calmed enough to breathe normally. James wanted them to look for Ray together (upon seeing that tears were still falling from Norman's eyes, and how pale he was, the man didn't want to leave his son alone), but the boy insisted that they split up, so they can search wilder area. Older Ratri didn't really want to argue, because he was also worried, but he made Norman promise that he's gonna text him every ten minutes (and if boy misses any check in, he would just find him by tracking his phone) and then they run in different directions.
An hour later Norman started losing hope. If Ray already changed into cat, and really didn't want to be found, then he could hide in places they'll never find him. They'll never see him again.
"What have I done? What have I done?" He started muttering to himself.
Suddenly, he heard a sound from the alley. He looked there, and saw a familiar bunch of unruly black hair.
His eyes widened, when he sent a fast text to his father and entered the alley.
"Ray?"
Boy was sitting with his back to the wall, and knees under his chin. He was rocking back and forth. His cat ears were gone, and when he looked up at Norman, his wide, scared eyes were gray.
"I can't change," he choked out.
"Shhh," Norman crouched in front of him. "It's okay."
"I can't change. I'm trapped in this form."
"No, you're not. You can do it," Norman said, putting his hand on Ray's, that were hugging his knees. "You've been doing it for so long. Just calm down. I know you can do it. Come on."
He was softly whispering encouraging words, and Ray was listening, not letting his eyes off him. He stopped swinging, and after a moment he closed his eyes. Norman could feel the body under his hand shifting slightly, and in the blink of an eye instead of the boy, in front of Norman was sitting the black cat.
Human smiled at the animal, but his smile was shaky.
Cat immediately climbed into his arms.
"I knew you can do it, baby. I'm proud of you." He kissed cat's neck, and was holding him in his arms, with tears flowing from his eyes again.
"Can we please come back home, and talk?" He asked after a moment.
He heard a sigh and quiet “okay”. And then cat got away from his hold, and transformed back into the boy.
"You don't have to..."
"But I want to."
Before they could say anything more, at the entry of the alley, James appeared.
"You stupid boy, what were you thinking?" He said, but before Ray had any chance to answer, he took him into his arms. "Don't scare me, I mean us, like that ever again."
"You… You were worried?"
"Of course I was! I care about you, just like I care about Norman."
"Oh. I'm sorry," he whispered, hugging man back.
When they came back home, James kissed them both in foreheads, and left them in living room, because "you apparently have to talk" and went to his room.
"Listen, I..."
"I'm sorry," Ray said suddenly. "I overreacted, and said some stupid things. I shouldn't have."
"No! I mean, you were also right with some things. So, I’m the one who’s sorry. I'm an idiot, and I wasn't thinking... I almost lost you because of this," Norman shook his head, and looked Ray in the eyes. "But it was stupid. The only thing that matters is the fact that I wanna try with you, because no matter what form you're in, you're still Ray. And I love you."
"See, that's why I'd rather be in this form during this conversation. Because it allows me to do this." Ray came closer and kissed him.
"I love you," Norman whispered again, when they parted.
"Prove it."
"I will," he smiled, kissing him again.
And he was going to do it. No matter how many days or months it will take, no matter how many times he'll have to repeat those words, he'll make Ray believe that he really loved him. Because this, those feelings... it was worth it.