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They were supposed to be keeping watch. They were just messing around. Playing with the excess gunpowder in the closed gunsmith nextdoor. Except, a dropped cigarette on some gunpowder was the one thing you don't want during a bank heist, no matter how small. The explosion that was caused was small, but enough damage was done that a small shack was blown and they had to run. Lawmen came rushing and they knew they had to run. Arthur practically threw John onto his horse as they fled, he barely had time to jump onto his own horse before Hosea and Dutch were running towards them.
“God damn! We almost had it, we almost had it!” Dutch was seething as he jumped onto his horse, finally releasing Hosea’s arm as he hopped on.
Hosea on the other hand jerked his arm away and got onto his saddle, “What the hell was that Dutch?”
“I didn’t plan an explosion!” Dutch hissed but Hosea waved his hand angrily.
“Well, maybe you should’ve looked at all the angles before you decided that today was the day!”
Arthur turned to John just as they both came to the realization that neither Dutch nor Hosea knew they were the cause of the whole mess. They weren’t sure whether or not they wanted to say anything. Not when Dutch and Hosea were glaring like that.
***
The ride back to camp was the longest John and Arthur had ever had to endure. They kept their gazes down, doing their best to not catch the gaze of the older men who rode before them. Though, if they were being honest, that was unlikely to happen. No, the older men were much too busy glaring daggers at the other to acknowledge the two boys behind them. They had stopped yelling at each other, but only because they had run out of insults.
“That-uhm...that was a close one, huh?” John tried to make conversation, to break the tense air around them, but the accusatory look Arthur threw him let him know that he was making a mistake.
Hosea let out a scoff, “Very close, very close. To think, it could’ve been an easy take. Too bad that some people just don’t know when to leave well enough alone!”
Dutch didn’t make eye contact, he didn’t even look away from the path in front of them. One could mistake his reaction, or rather his lack thereof, to be that he was ignoring Hosea, but it was made obvious by the stiffness of his jaw that this wasn’t the case. “Perhaps, Mr. Matthews, you shouldn’t be so quick to go talking about matters you know nothing about.”
“Matters I know nothing about? Honestly?!” Hosea all but growled, “You can be so dense sometimes, you know that?”
A bark of a laugh, “Me? Dense? I’m afraid you must be mistaken! You know for a fact that I was the one who talked the man down! If it wasn’t for me, you’d be stalling in that cell just waiting to swing!”
“None of that would have happened if you would’ve planned things out better! An explosion, Dutch, really?” Hosea’s gaze was downright venomous and both John and Arthur were glad that they were once more forgotten between the two men.
Hosea and Dutch spurred on, bickering between each other and paying no mind to Arthur or John.
John’s gaze fell down once more, focusing on the reins in his hands. He heard a low sigh and the soft trot of Arthur’s horse carrying him closer. “It’s okay, John. Things will be okay.”
“We were the ones who messed it up. He messed up the heist and they’re yelling at each other.”
For a moment Arthur was quiet. John feared that Arthur was done talking with him but when he looked up and met his eye he knew that Arthur was just struggling to find the right words to speak. His brows were pinched and his mouth was fit into a pursed line. “We, we didn’t mean to mess up. You know that. They’re angry right now, it’s better if we tell them later. When they’re calmed down.”
John did not want to tell them but he knew that they would have to. If Arthur got it in his head to tell them than there was nothing that John could do to stop him. So, he just gave a short nod, “Okay.”
“Okay.”
They continued to camp in silence, an uncomfortable silence that only stirred John’s nerves further. He would never admit it, but he was afraid. He hadn’t been working with the gang for a long time, really he’s been with them for less than a year, but they were the closests he’s had to a real family. He loved them and he knew that they’d shun him for this mistake. They’d make him leave.
Why would they want him anymore? If he could botch such a huge heist than surely he would botch others? There was no point in keeping him around if he was just going to mess up everything. Arthur...Arthur didn’t understand that. They loved Arthur, they would keep Arthur. Arthur was big and strong and they had no reason to shun him or send him away.
He’d be alone again.
*
Arthur was doing his best to remain calm and controlled. On the outside, his face was set in its usual grump but on the inside he felt as though he was being torn apart. He could already imagine everything. He could see Hosea’s disappointed eyes and hear Dutch’s scolding yells. He already knew how upset everyone in camp was going to be. This slow ride to camp was both a blessing and a curse.
He watches the exchange between Dutch and Hosea, wincing when their voices rise and their glares turn nearly deadly. He doesn’t intervene when they both trot faster and away to camp, leaving him and John behind. He wants to say something now, get it all over with, but he can’t bring himself to say anything. He knows it’ll just be worse in camp, where everyone will see and stare and watch the exchange with their disappointed eyes, but he isn’t ready to face them just yet. Instead he lets them leave and he focuses his gaze on John.
He encourages his horse to ride closer to John, “It’s okay, John. Things will be okay.”
He can tell by John’s tense shoulders and his quivering lip that the boy is nearly crying. From how he’s acting, he probably doesn’t even realize he’s so close to tears. Arthur hesitates before he continues, “We, we didn’t mean to mess up. You know that. They’re angry right now, it’s better if we tell them later. When they’re calmed down.”
John face falls further, “Okay.”
Arthur doesn’t want to tell but he knows they’ll have to.
“Okay.”
They continue forward and Arthur feels like he’s getting closer and closer to his own personal torture. He feels anxiety coil in his chest, his legs are heavy and his shoulders sag further down. He tries to brace himself, for what’s to come, but he struggles enough with just riding into camp and thinking of a good way to say what happened without Dutch or Hosea getting to upset.
He glances at John again and wonders what has the kid so upset. John is the new cute kid that everyone is fawning over. Bessie and Hosea take him into their tent and they read. Dutch pats his shoulder and chats with him all the time, educating them on their way of life and philosophy, not that John really cares for any of that. Really, John doesn’t care for reading or writing or for philosophy lessons. Arthur knows that John doesn’t care, but he can’t help but be...upset about it.
The camp loves John and when the truth comes out, surely everyone will scold Arthur. He’s supposed to be the big repsoible brother, taking care of little John and making sure he gets things done. Of course, they’ll all be upset with Arthur and John will probably get off with little more than a warning. Everyone just loves little John, Arthur knows that.
Arthur doesn’t want to dwell on it and he is quickly pulled from his thoughts when they enter camp. Dutch and Hosea are still getting at each other, their voices carry through the whole camp and everyone is paying careful attention to stay out of the way. Their faces are red and their glares make Arthur dip his hat forward over his own eyes. “We’ll tell them later, once they’ve calmed down.”
John gives a short nod, “Okay.”
That later, it would seem, was taking a lot longer to arrive than Arthur thought. Hosea and Dutch weren’t arguing anymore but their moods were still sour and they refused to remain around each other for too long. It was two weeks later at night when everyone was asleep, that Arthur found himself sitting a bit of a ways from camp alone. The scout fire was crackling softly and he enjoyed the relative peace he received from it.
“Arthur?”
Of course, his peaceful moment would be ruined.
“What is it John?”
John cleared his throat and fumbled with his hands for a moment. He looked over his shoulder for a brief moment and then quickly moved to sit across from Arthur. “I was wondering...if we could talk.”
Arthur sighed, heavy and exasperated, “If this is about this morning, than well you should know how not sorry I am about it.”
John glared at him, “What? What are you-?”
Realizing his mistake, Arthur rushed to change the subject, “Well, you know I-”
“That was you?! You jerk!” John rushed forward and started hitting him. His face turned red and he was pouting, the sight of John’s face alone had Arthur laughing. “I was scrubbing my hair for hours before Grimshaw let me out of that stupid river!”
Arthur kept laughing, he didn’t even mind that John was hitting him. The boy’s hand barely did any damage at all really. “Alright, alright! I get it!”
“Yer such a jerk, Arthur.” John gave him one final smack before he allowed Arthur to push him back down. “I won’t forgive you.”
“I can’t believe Grimshaw had you in that river for so long. I was sure that the current would sweep you off!” Arthur cackled as John all but growled at him.
“It wasn’t even pass my knees!”
“You’ve nearly drowned in ankle high!” He couldn’t stop laughing, the idea of John being carried off just about made his day.
“I hate you! You...you ass!”
Now that made Arthur stop laughing, “Excuse me, come again?”
“I said yer an ass!” John’s face was red and he was glaring.
“I’d watch your language, little Marston. You wouldn’t want Ms. Grimshaw to hear about those foul words, would you? Why, I bet she’d wash your mouth out with soap!” His grin returned and he was laughing once more. He was laughing so hard that his sides hurt and the anxiety he’d been feeling the pass week was all but gone.
It was the weak sniffle and the cracking, “I hate you”, that had Arthur’s laughter stopping again. He opened his eyes and saw that John was sitting again. The boy was slouched over, hiding his face in his hands as he cried.
“Oh, hey. John, I...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you that much. I’m sorry I threw mud on you while you were sleeping, okay?” Well, now Arthur really did feel like an ass. “I’m sorry, okay? Listen, I didn’t mean what I said about the cursing. I won’t tell Grimshaw.”
“Yeah, right! You hate me, you do whatever you can to get everyone mad at me.” John’s teary eyed glare was even less intimidating than his regular glare, but somehow it cut Arthur more deeply.
“I don’t hate you. I’m annoyed by you, but I don’t hate you.” Arthur sighed, “I mean it, John. You and me...all of us, we’re family.”
Arthur was never good at talking, not like Hosea and Dutch. He could write in his journal for hours about how he felt or about what he’d seen, but when it came to talking he just...couldn’t figure out what to say half the time. “We’re family, John. All of us, we care about you.”
Even with his lack of grand gestures and pretty word crafting, John still viciously wiped at his eyes and looked up at him, “You don’t mean that! You’re just a jerk! All of you are!”
“Now than, you really do watch your mouth! All these folks, Hosea and Dutch, they took you in. Gave you a life and family so you better show some respect!”
“They don’t care about me! Even if they do, they won’t after we tell them the truth!” Tears were spilling again, accompanied by a fresh wave of sobs. John was shaking and hiccuping, absolutely bawling. Arthur didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to console and comfort him. So, he did the only thing he knew how.
“We don’t have to tell them.” He offered but that only earned him a suspicious and accusing look.
“Why? I thought you’ve been dying to tell them.”
“Dying about telling them more like it. Listen, if you’re that worried about it, then we won’t have to tell them. I promise.”
“You,” Despite crying just seconds ago, John seemed to reign in his tears with considerable ease when he was offered this, “You mean it?”
“Yeah. I don’t want to tell them either, so if you are really that worried about it...we won’t have to.” Arthur took off his kerchief and offered it to John, “So stop crying.”
*
John threw himself into Arthur’s arms, gripping the man tightly around the neck. “Thank you. Thank you so much Arthur!”
Arthur growled and sputtered, “Oh, oh get off! Get off me!”
John hesitated but he obeyed. Though his face was tear stained, he broke into a wide grin, “Thanks Arthur.”
Arthur just shook his head and waved him off, tipping his hat down to hide his eyes, “Sure thing, John.”
“I mean it. I’ve been, worried, you know? I’ve been worried that Dutch and Hosea would be mad and just...kick me out.” John settled down across from Arthur once more.
“Dutch would be pissed at us for ruining his heist. Hosea, well he’ll be angry we didn’t say anything sooner. They’ve been fighting about it for a while, that’s what they’ll be most mad about. But, really, no. They’d never send you away. Not over something like that. There is always more money to be made but you..you’re family.” Arthur gave a small smile, “I guess we’re stuck with you.”
Despite only knowing Arthur for less than a year, John knew that Arthur was true to his word. He would not tell and the others did care for him. Even if Hosea and Dutch knew the truth, they would not send him away. Really, it was the news that nearly had him in tears again. He had what he’d always wanted and he had no intention of letting it go. Not if he could help it.
He grinned, “More like I’m stuck with you.”