Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

RitchieTZ   created a group chat 

RichieTZ   added  _ Eddie.Kaspbrak _  ,  ThatBxtchBeverly   ,  StanleyUris ,  Mikey-no- Ikey   ,  Bill.Den  and  BenHans  

Richie TZ   made a group chat:  welcome to the  losers  club asshole  

StanleyUris  changed the group chat name to: 

  Welcome  To  the Losers Club, Asshole  

RichieTZ :  Ah... 

RichieTZ :  Punctuation Station it is 

_ Eddie.Kaspbrak _  changed his name to   Eddie  

RichieTZ   changed  Eddie’s   name to  Eds  

Eds : Fuck off, Richie 

Eds  changed his name to  Eddie  

RichieTZ   changed  Eddie’s   name to  HypochondriSnac  

HyprocondriSnac : You know what?  

HyprocondriSnac  Fine. 

RichieTZ : Huzzah! 

RichieTZ   changed his name to   PoorManNamedRich   

Mikey-no- ikey   changed  BenHans ’s name to   Benjamenjamin  

M ikey-no- ikey   changed his name to   JustaBoyFromDairy    

B ill.Den  changed his name to   BillyBoy   

ThatBxtchBeverly : No 

BillyBoy : Why not? 

Benjamenjamin : If Eddie can’t, neither can you. 

BillyBoy : Fairs 

StanleyUris : Never say that again 

ThatBxtchBeverly  changed   BillyBoy ’s  name to   1-Did-I-stutter-800  

StanleyUris   changed his name to  Stan  

HypocondriSnac : Woah original, Stanley 

PoorManNamedRich   changed  Stan’s   name to  1-Did-I-Fucking-ask-800  

1-Did-I-Fucking-Ask-800:  What I ask myself whenever Richie talks 

PoorManNamedRich:  harsh there stanley 

Benjamenjamin :  [WhyWouldYousaySmthConYetBrave.pic]  

1-Did-I-Fucking-Ask-800:  [I’mRightButIshouldn’tSayIt.pic]  

PoorManNamedRich   changed  ThatBxtchBeverly ’s  name to   B(ev)itchIHopeTheFuckYouDo  

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Direct Message from  ThatBxtchBeverly   to  RichieTZ  

ThatBxtchBeverly:  'HypochondriSnac' ???? 

ThatBxtchBeverly :  Lol smooth  

RichieTZ :  Shut up, Marsh 

ThatBxtchBeverly: Oh wow richie using real punctuation!1!!!!1! 

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Welcome to the Losers Club, Asshole

PoorManNamedRich :  anywho,,, minus the bullying,,, I created this chat to ask if y’all wanted to meet at the quarry  

1-Did-I-Fucking-Ask-800:  y’all 

B( ev ) itchIHopeTheFuckYouDo :  y’all 

HyprocondriSnac:  y’all 

Benjamenjamin :  y’all 

1-Did-I-Stutter-800:  y’all 

JustABoyFromDairy :  y’all 

PoorManNamedRich :  Who wants to come and  fight  me at the quarry? 

1-Did-I-Fucking-Ask-800:   An excuse to fight Richie? Count me in. 

1-Did-I-Stutter-800:  I can 

Benjamenjamin :  me too 

B( ev )itchIHopeTheFuckYouDo :  me three 

JustaBoyFromDairy :  Thirded  

HyprocondriSnac :  Can’t. Mom’s throwing a hissy fit because I didn’t collect my medicine today 

PoorManNamedRich :  what?! What will I do without my Eddie Spaghetti? 

HyprocondriSnac :  What the fuck, richard? 

Benjamenjamin :  [ WhatTheFuckRichard.vid ]  

B( ev )itchIHopeTheFuckYouDo :  Ben back at it with the memes 

1-Did-I-Stutter-800:  Is everything okay? 

HyprocondriSnac :  Yeah you know how she is 

HyprocondriSnac :  Probably will just keep me inside so I ‘don’t get sick’  

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Direct Message from  RichieTZ   to  Mikey-no- Ikey  

RichieTZ :  Do you think he’s really alright? 

Mikey-no- Ikey :  He says so 

Mikey-no- Ikey :  Besides Eddie always finds a way out at some point. 

Mikey-no- Ikey :  Don’t say anything. You know he hates the pity  

RichieTZ :   yea that’s why he never brings her up.

RichieTZ :  Okay, I’ll be cool. 

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Welcome to the Losers Club, Asshole:  

PoorManNamedRich :  I could always loosen her up for ya, Eds 

HyprocondriSnac :  I’m going to HypochondriSnap your neck, Richie 

B( ev )itchIHopeTheFuckYouDo :  you walked into that one Eddie 

1-Did-I-Fucking-Ask-800:  Beep Beep Richie 

JustaBoyFromDairy :  It could have been innocent! 

Benjamenjamin :  Yeah! Richie, explain for us 

HyprocondriSnac :  NO! 

1-Did-I-Stutter-800:  NO! 

1-Did-I-Fucking-Ask-800:  Richie I see you typing you better stop 

PoorManNamedRich :  Well thank you, my dear gentlemen. I am glad someone has faith my capabilities of being a true man with love and compassion in his heart. Eddie, my good chap, I only meant to relax your mother with the heavenly sight of my face and grace your life with my presence. Why must you wound me so? 

B( ev )itchIHopeTheFuckYouDo :  Oh that wasn’t too bad  

1-Did-I-Stutter-800:  Sorry richie 

HyprocondriSnac :  I’m sceptical but 

HyprocondriSnac :  Sorry ‘Chee. 

1-Did-I-Fucking-Ask-800:  Wait for it... 

PoorManNamedRich :  And also grace eddie’s mom with my wang 

HyprocondriSnac :  RICHIE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD! 

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Despite how disgusting the vulgar jokes Richie told were, it seemed all of them – with the exception of the ones about his mother– had Eddie somewhat amused as he thought about the voices his best friend tried to convey in the message; from the sophisticated and  un-Richie-like phrasing, Eddie would have to assume the British Guy voice was being used. It did seem to be the Trashmouth’s go to since it was the only voice which was deemed to be ‘perfected’. 

Amongst the group chat ghosting Eddie was doing, he had almost forgotten the guilt inducing speech in which Sonia had aimed at her son: 

“Oh Eddie, don’t you see what you’re doing to your mother – the one who has been the only person to care for you?”  Mrs.   Kasbrack  choked up as tears – ones which Eddie had the nerve to think (but not say) were crocodile tears once re-evaluating the situation- welled within her eyes, threatening to tumble down her pudgy red cheeks. Of course, the very simple act of forgetting his medicine had Sonia  Kaspbrak  with her hand over her heart and taking deep breaths to ‘calm her down’ while looking around for a place to sit. Instantly, as if it were clockwork, Eddie felt his stomach drop while silently reprimanding himself for being so careless and negatively effecting his mother - all this while rushing to the larger woman’s side to guide her to the reclining chair in front of the TV.   

“I’m sorry ma-”  

“No, don’t. I understand.” She gasped, “Just like your father you are, Eddie, dear.” Now, that was a new one.  Sonia’s hand reached up to Eddie’s cheek, to which the teen crouched – he was small for a boy his age, but with his mother reclining, the automatic response was to lean so his mother didn’t have to  stretch .  

As Eddie recalled the situation in the safe haven of his bedroom, he began to rub at his cheek as if to dust of the ghosting of her fingers - just the memory had the uncomfortable feeling of delinquency settle in his stomach and producing a shiver.    

  “ So  caught up with... bad influences that you have forgotten what’s important.”  The ‘bad influences’ was spat in a way which Eddie rarely saw of his mother; she used her kind voice to coax him into a sense of security, when in reality it was isolating him from others more often than not, and if she wasn’t isolating him she was making him take medicines he had refused to take. More manipulation which Eddie had previously been blind to; even now he couldn’t say he was 100% aware of the manipulation unless it being called out by the Losers, which was rare, afraid of upsetting their friend.  How did that correlate with his father? How did that correlate with  him ? Eddie had no ‘bad’ influences, he wasn’t even with the Losers this morning.   

‘She must mean Richie’  Eddie thought silently, hands behind his back and eyes dropped to the floor .  She never liked Richie – too loud mouthed, too brash, childish...  ‘ too Tozier’ .  Eddie never would agree and even opened his mouth to defend his friends, but Sonia only raised her hand and began to heave again “Eddie-bear, get mommy some water; all this is too much.” One beat passed and Eddie still stood, only to see his mother’s expecting eyes  

“Yes, mom,” he murmured and followed the order.  

Eddie didn’t need to ask if he could meet with his friends to know it would be a negative – especially outside. “Oh Eddie, your hay fever” the teen mocked in a whisper so sickly that he shuddered. The impersonation could give Richie a run for his money, but it was one he hated doing. It showed how close the two were. “If you had your medicine... if you listened... if you... cared.” The sickly-sweet whisper of his mother turned into his own voice again slowly; the pause between each comment being a little longer than the last until Eddie let his body drop to his freshly made bed, fiddling with the asthma pump he kept on his bedside drawer while wondering what to believe.

At times like these, ones with his mother (who had been violently coughing from the self-described stress) suddenly silent and happily sitting in front of the TV, Eddie was unsure how he could have been blind for so long; she used her emotions to make Eddie feel bad, to stay in and get rid of his friends, just like the summer where he broke his arm while defending Georgie from some street clown.  

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Welcome to the Losers Club, Asshole  

RichieTZ :  [WishingYouWereHere]   

(Description: Richie being in the foreground while Bev, Bill and Ben were behind him on the right and Mike and Stan were on the left, on a rock; they were all smiling while Richie grinned so wide his eyes were squinting]  

RichieTZ :  Hope Mrs. K isn’t locking you up all summer, we need you  

JustaBoyFromDairy :  Yeah! 

JustaBoyFromDairy :  Plus Richie cut his knee already so we really do need you to stop him 

B( ev )itchIHopeTheFuckYouDo :  stop this chaotic disaster  

PoorManNamedRich :  We need Eddie to  encourage  me not stop me 

PoorManNamedRich:  smh fake fans 

PoorManNamedRich :  also im a chaotic good get it right 

HyprocondriSnac :  how about I sneak out tonight after my mom’s fallen asleep and we can watch bad films at Bill’s  

1-Did-I-Stutter-800:  Why are you renting my house out? 

PoorManNamedRich :  Eddie the pimp 

Benjamenjamin:  of houses? 

PoorManNamedRich:  yes 

JustaBoyFromDairy :  Real estate agents 

1-Did-I-Fucking-Ask-800:  Christ. 

HyprocondriSnac :  Is that a no, Bill? 

1-Did-I-Stutter-800:  … 

1-Did-I-Stutter-800:  of course not 

PoorManNamedRich :  then its settled. Movies at Billiam’s place at 8:30. 

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Direct Message from  Bill.Den   to  RichieTZ  

Bill.Den :  You didn’t need to try to bribe me with a milkshake, but now you offered I want Vanilla 

Bill.Den:  You know I would say yes 

RichieTZ :  just making sure 

RichieTZ :  gotta see my Eds somehow 

Bill.Den :  gayass 

RichieTZ :  who are you? Bev? 

RichieTZ :  its Bi-ass aktually 

Bill.Den :  Aktually 

RichieTZ :  *Middle Finger Emoji*