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If someone told Diana a year ago that she would not only be dating, but living together with the lead singer of one of the biggest bands in the world, she would’ve politely told them that was preposterous. After all, she had very few things on her mind, and dating wasn’t on the top of that list. Plus, while many people wanted to marry her for her family connections and her future career as a doctor, her accounting experience caused many to misinterpret her as IRS, and nobody likes them. Other than her friends and family, there was no planned room for anyone else.
Now, she was surrounded by a myriad of unpacked and packed boxes, new and old furniture, and a very deceptive brunette. Who happened to be a lead singer. And very cute. While Diana had recently returned from work, still wearing her white button up and tie, Akko was dressed in her usual short shorts and a tank top that showed off her midriff.
“It’s very nice that your aunt decided to lend us this apartment,” said Akko, doing her best to ensure there were walkways clear of paper and boxes.
“I’d say it’s nicer that your whole band came to help us move, let alone unpack.” said Diana, pulling open some of her forms. Honestly, the fact that some of her carpets and tables were already set helped make the place livable. “My aunt more or less forced this on me, saying that you and I needed an upgrade from our separate apartments.”
“You know that’s her way of showing love, Diana,” said Akko, leaning over the blonde from behind the couch and draping her arms on her shoulders. “Besides, her living standards are higher, with her living in a penthouse and all.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that I work for most of the day and you’re usually on tour,” sighed Diana, remembering those bits of the year where life just felt a little duller. “I mean, I’m very glad she gave us some of her furniture since you refuse to decorate, but I felt she went a little overboard.”
“It’s just more expenses that could go to other people who need it,” said Akko, her face right next to Diana’s as she looked at her girlfriend. “Can you blame me for not furnishing?”
Diana smiled. “No, but I at least want our place to remind me of you while you’re gone.”
Akko stayed silent for a little, red creeping onto her cheeks. Then, she caught Diana’s lips with her own.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I’ll try to help decorate, okay? That way, you won’t be lonely.”
“Thank you. I would appreciate that very much.”
“What are you looking at?”
“Tax forms. The day is coming up.”
Akko’s eyes lit up, and she quickly darted away before returning with a binder labeled “Records.” She turned to a section marked with the current year before turning to Diana.
“I’m ready,” said Akko, stars in her eyes.
“Okay,” said Diana, slightly worried about what surprises Akko had in store for her. Considering past events...
“Audit this.”
Diana shook her head.
“Alright. First time, filing jointly or separately?”
“We’re not married yet-” said Akko, alreadying calculating things in her mind.
“So we’ll both have to file separately for now,” finished Diana before her mind caught up with her and both of them looked at each other.
“What?” both of them asked at the same time before a form conveniently caught their eyes. When Diana pulled it out, her face grew redder and her eyes turned wide.
“What is it?” asked Akko, leaning close to her.
“It’s...It’s all the paperwork for us to file jointly,” stuttered Diana. “Common law... registered domestic partnership...when the hell did we sign this?!”
A post-it note saying “You’re welcome,” was on the form, and both girls knew immediately who it was from.
“...Dammit Aunt Daryl...alright. Filing jointly, that gives us some benefits,” said Diana, jotting down a few notes. “No dependents, right?”
Akko shook her head. “The band and I tried that, and it was a legal battle we lost.”
Diana tsked. “So that was what Aunt Daryl was prattling on about. Anyway, income next.”
The two continued to fill out the basic information, and Diana tried not to stare at how large Akko’s numbers were. So far, other than filing jointly, there were no major problems.
“Deductions now...I think the money I gave to my mother counts as charity-”
“I got this,” said Akko, sliding over the binder to Diana. “First, the cost of the band’s travel and meals, concert expenses, vehicle expenses, oh! Home studio/office expenses!”
“...what?” asked Diana, mind trying to catch up with her hands as she started adding all the numbers.
Akko began pointing to the color coded boxes. “Here’s how much the band donated to the children’s charity, to Cavendish Medical, MagiTech, Red Ribbon, Luna Nova University...okay nevermind, there’s too many. Just use the number at the bottom.”
Diana’s eyes widened.
“Then all the home improvement-”
“We just moved here, Akko-”
“But Daryl specifically had that written for us as well. Especially with furnishing.”
“Seriously?”
“Oh! And the solar panels I installed-”
“On buildings we don’t own?”
“No, on our patio.”
Akko pointed to the sliding glass door, revealing a set of extended solar panels not just on theirs, but on their neighbor’s as well.
“Wait, when did you do that?”
“So if we added all this up correctly...” muttered Diana, hair frazzled and tie loosened from the pure amount of counting she had been doing. “We...owe...a negative number? The government needs to...give us money?”
“Yay!” exclaimed Akko, hugging Diana close. “That’s the way to do it!”
Diana’s mind was fried beyond comprehension. The sheer power of Cavendish’s and Akko’s donations had caused what was potentially the biggest amount of taxes she would have to pay into a massive return for them. Everything about it seemed to make absolutely no sense, as if this moment in her life was a poorly written, edited, and rushed story. Still, she wasn’t complaining, except about the pain in her head.
“...I’m sticking to medical knowledge from now on,” said Diana. “No more accounting for me.”
“Aw, are you sure Diana?” asked Akko, straddling her girlfriend. “Wouldn’t you have to...investigate this under suspicion of fraud?”
“I...I’m not sure I understand,” stuttered Diana, face lighting aflame as Akko tore off her tie and began unbuttoning her shirt. “Besides, I need to...to finalize the taxes.”
Akko shushed her and put her finger on Diana’s lips before grabbing the bottom of her own tank top. “How about you stop looking at that…”
Then, in one motion, she took off her top.
“...and audit this?”
Daryl burst out laughing at the sight of Diana’s neck after tax day. “I can’t believe you acted on the same pickup line twice!” Even her mother, who happened to be visiting her sister, couldn’t hold back her chuckle.
“Aunt Daryl, mother, please,” Diana borderline begged.
“Oh, honey,” said Bernadette, smiling warmly to herself. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s sweet that you found your second half.”
Daryl smirked and hummed to herself. “You two somehow made taxes sexy, sooooo...I don’t think I will.”