Chapter Text
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
Dear Matt,
It’s Elisa. Since you’re out in the middle of nowhere, I don’t know if the news has reached you yet from here in town about the clock tower. Now, I know what you’re thinking – has someone finally fixed it? Is that what this is about? Nope.
This is about that sentence Guest B had plastered up just under the broken clock face when he was on the island decades ago: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”. The tile with the Z on it fell off this morning. I wouldn’t usually call this breaking news, since it’s not really a big deal, is it? Just stick the tile back on and carry on like normal.
But naturally, all activities on the island are funded by the Guest Society, and they were busy having a meeting in their office about whether or not they can afford to splash out to buy a tube of glue, and whether or not the tile’s even worth fixing. (I literally have spare glue left over from that time a plane crashed into my tennis stash and broke my rackets. Do they want to borrow some?)
Anyway, they came to the conclusion that no, they’re short of funds and don’t have the money for it, so the tile won’t be fixed, and that sentence will just have to do without the letter Z. It has all the other letters in it, after all – I think it’s called a “pangram”, right? I don’t know, you’re the nerdy one, not me. But yeah, I could have solved this problem in two seconds by handing my old tube of glue to some daredevil (there’s no shortage of them here) along with the tile, and sending them parkouring up the clock tower and sticking it back on.
In a way I guess it’s like the fact that the clock itself hasn’t been fixed, despite having not worked for years? It’s part of Wuhu Island’s charm now. But a broken clock is one thing when everyone has wristwatches anyway, and the Guest Society deciding that the letter Z is going to be literally banned because it fell off the tower is totally another thing.
Oh yeah, did I mention? That’s the big news, the reason why everyone is so weirded out. Because the letter Z is going to be banned on the island in a week.
Can… can they do that? I don’t exactly know the details of their authority, I’ll admit I only skimmed the contract before coming here in the first place. I know Wuhu is some kind of autonomous island nation (along with Wedge and all those other tiny little ones just scattered around in the nearby sea) that didn’t have any kind of indigenous population until settlements of newcomers about a century ago, so it… kind of functions as its own country? But one that’s run by the Guest Society, since they’re the ones who funded it in the first place and continue to fund all the island’s activities.
It doesn’t mean they can make laws, does it? Me and Sarah have been musing over it for the past several hours at least. If only there was any kind of signal here, we could look it up on the internet! But the only way would be to get a cruiser out of here, and I remember enough of the contract to know that if you leave, you’re not allowed back. (Come to think of it, that’s a pretty weird rule too.)
Maybe the Guest Society is just trying to exercise as much power as they can. You know, in a kind of “well why not see how much we can get people to obey us, just for funsies?” In any case, here are the consequences – you get three chances. If you use the letter Z either in speech or writing, the first time you’ll just get told off. The second time, you’re put on the lava pillars in the volcano for an afternoon to think about what you’ve done. The third time, you have to leave the island.
Is it me or does that seem a bit… uh… evil?
In other news, not all of us enjoy being knocked off a high ledge into a pit of freezing cold water at extreme force, so I think I’ll pass on the swordplay duelling, thanks. Can’t you get back into boxing again? I miss fighting you. True friends don’t hit each other with sticks, they hit each other directly with their fists.
-Elisa
Dear Elisa,
The number of annoying misconceptions in your most recent letter is really making me roll my eyes. I’m not “out in the middle of nowhere”, I’m literally about 10 minutes down the road from town, and a hotel as large as this one counts as a settlement on its own, in my opinion. So yes, news has indeed reached us about this rule – it would be a bit stupid for the Guest Society to put in place a rule this impactful without letting everyone know of it beforehand. Newspapers do exist, if you bother to ever read them.
The Guest Society can, in fact, do basically whatever they want. Up until now their own system of honour has stopped them abusing their power. (Or so they say. You mentioned Wuhu not having had previous inhabitants before the more recent settlements – but then who put the pillars in the lava in the first place? And why do so many places here have more than one name?) Maybe at this point they’ve realized they can enact whatever kind of weird censorship laws they want.
I mean, it’s been a while since I’ve been there, but I assume the town library still exists? How many of those books do you think have the letter Z in them? A lot, right? Most, if not all of them. So what will happen to those? Best case scenario, the community watch service will go through and scribble out any uses of the illegal letter, leaving the rest of the books intact. Or maybe transferring them onto the Queen Peach to sail off and find somewhere else to house them. But that’s a lot of time and effort, so the most likely scenario is that they’ll all just be dumped in the sea. Not exactly good for the island’s eco-friendly image, is it? But at least it avoids the clearly dystopian feel that burning the books would give off.
(If it wasn’t clear, I agree with you completely – this does feel evil. If anyone wants to go ahead and scale the tower to stick the tile back on I’d definitely be happy with that!)
Oh, and hitting each other with sticks is actually the true mark of friendship. Plus, I have to keep at the top of my swordplay game or else Anna will steal my spot as champ, and I’m not having that. I quite like having this nice reputation of being a multi-sport champion, you know, I’m not letting her have it. Boxing is… eh, it’s old news now. That being said, you can feel free to come over and hang out without tying it into sports. It feels like it’s been a while since I’ve seen you, and with no mobile phone coverage on the island, sending letters is such a slow way to talk to someone.
-Matt
Dear Matt,
It’s about 5 minutes until the Z ban comes into effect, and we’re not really supposed to have possession of any material containing the letter, so once you’ve read this then destroy it IMMEDIATELY okay? Well, unless you fancy getting kicked off the island, that is, but as your friend I’d rather you didn’t.
If only phones worked here! I could just message you whatever I want, whenever I want, and then delete it later so I don’t get in trouble! But then again, what if the Guest Society taps the phones? Or am I just being paranoid? They’re not tyrants or dictators or anything. (Well, I say that, but they are apparently relocating their office to the castle, which I thought no one was allowed to live in, so…)
Since Miyu’s not 18 quite yet she’s exempt from the ban until her 18th birthday. How lucky is that? She said she’d still start practising anyway, so that she doesn’t slip up later when it starts mattering for her. Oh, and Vincenzo and Fritz will have to change their names or something. Vincenzo said everyone can just call him “Vin” if they want, and Fritz will spell his name like Frits.
I’m thinking… we’re on this island to play sports. Not to talk, or to write, or anything like that. So is this ban really such a big deal? We’d probably get used to it. It’ll be like when you do those challenge runs on video games – try to beat X game without jumping! You navigate the challenges, you figure out how to get around it. And then once the challenge is over, for a while you’re still in shock when you see someone else jumping, and feel reluctant to do it yourself, but you get used to what’s normal again.
So if we ever decide to leave the island forever, or the rule gets overturned, we’ll go back to normal again. And in the meantime, things won’t be too different, will they?
…Yeah, it’s been 5 minutes, the letter is banned now. Don’t let the community watch service catch you with this letter, alright? I’m giving it to Cole to go deliver to you. Read it, and then dunk it in the volcano or whatever to get rid of it. (I’m sure that doesn’t count as environmental pollution.)
-Elisa
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y *
The quick brown fox jumps over the la*y dog
Dear Elisa,
I’ve destroyed the letter. You said you’d consider looking for a daredevil to climb the tower – do you think you’re the daredevil? Most people are trying to avoid using the new letter and getting into trouble, you know, not sending their friends mail with the Forbidden Letter in it when the deadline has already passed. But anyway, the community watch service is not on my tail, so I suppose it wasn’t a big deal. Please be more careful next time, though. Like you said about me – I’d hate to see you kicked off the island.
All of us here at the Cocoba already have our suspicions about who’ll be first to leave. You see, Yoshi has already said the banned letter twice! (By Yoshi, I’m talking about our elderly Yoshi, not that green dinosaur thing that you keep insisting commits tax fraud for some reason.) As good at sports as she still may be, her memory issues definitely don’t serve her well in this particular instance. Poor thing will have to be airlifted up onto the lava pillars for an afternoon, which won’t be pleasant for an old lady like her.
On another note: what time of day do you usually play tennis? I keep missing you whenever I go down to the courts. And considering you’re hogging all the tennis balls, I can’t exactly get in any practice when you’re not around. Those adorable little puppies we play frisbee with? They stole all the spare balls and lost them at the beach.
-Matt
Dear Matt,
Oof, poor Yoshi. I was cycling through the island loop and I thought I spotted someone up on one of the pillars; not sure that it was her though. A lot of people have been accidentally committing Bad Letter Crimes so it could have been any one of them. Only a matter of time until someone gets kicked out for good…
And I play tennis in the evening, of course, when it’s nice and cool. But that’s usually when you’re off hitting people with swords, so it’s no wonder we never bump into each other. I’d play in the morning too, but that conflicts with Sarah’s schedule and there’s no way I’m playing tennis without her. You understand, right? The reason I picked her as my roommate is because we’re such an excellent tennis team. Honestly she’s just as much a champion as I am – so what if my skill level’s higher? Sarah’s accompanied me in my every match! She’s just as good!
Anyway, if you ever do realise that rackets are cooler than fake flimsy plastic swords, then feel free to join me at the tennis courts one evening. I’ll happily lend you some of the tennis balls that the dogs haven’t got to yet. In fact, if you want more excuses to hang out, why not just move to town? I know you’re one of those quiet types, but it’s not as if it’s a bustling city here or anything. Don’t you get bored out at Cocoba? Join us here! At least visit more often. It’s been a while since we’ve done a tandem island flyover. Or any sports at all, really. You’re not worried about me beating you, are you…?
-Elisa
Dear Elisa,
No? Well I know you can easily beat me at tennis, but as the reigning champ of boxing and three separate modes of swordplay, I can assure you I’m not worried about losing at anything else. And I like it here in my little quiet place, thank you very much. I go past town almost every day for sword battles so I know what it’s like there.
Now for actual news: Yoshi has had to leave. Yes, she’s already committed her third offence (letter crimes, not tax fraud), and has been banished from Wuhu Island. She was given a measly box to pack all her possessions in and then sent off on the Queen Peach.
We’re all a bit in shock here, to be honest. It was like having a grandmother around, and now what? Nelly doesn’t exactly fit the bill, and I don’t want a replacement for Yoshi anyway. The only real “crime” she committed was having a bad memory. Don’t we all slip up, though? Don’t we all forget things sometimes? Heck, I’ve forgotten how it feels to have hair on my head.
Please take care, alright? I don’t want anyone else to leave.
-Matt
Dear Matt,
Hey, did you feel that earthquake earlier? You must have, surely. It wasn’t huge but oh boy, it was noticeable. I ran out to see for myself that the tremors caused the Q tile to fall off the tower, landing on the ground and breaking into chunks.
According to the radio the earthquake didn’t cause damage, and the volcano won’t explode, nor will there be a tsunami, so we seem to be all safe on the physical side, thank goodness. I guess news is the only thing the radio is good for these days, since they barely play any good music after having to get rid of all the songs with the banned letter in it.
The Q tile though… the Guest Society is telling us we’ll have to stop using that letter soon too. At this point I gotta admit I’m miffed. Isn’t this a restriction of our freedom of speech? Just because the Guests fund this place, it doesn’t mean they can do whatever they want with no regard to anyone else! We already humoured them with not using the first letter, but this one is going too far!
I’d leave, but Wuhu is honestly my home… I chose to come here. I chose to dedicate my life to sports, to bettering myself, to creating this community and living this life. If I leave, I can’t come back. And I don’t have anywhere to go anyway. It’s here or nothing.
I’ll miss Yoshi…
-Elisa
Dear Elisa,
Yes, we felt the earthquake here too. It was felt all over the island, in fact. Tommy said he was in the middle of an archery session and the sudden shaking caused him to miss his target entirely, almost hitting Tyrone! I seriously hope no one was on the lava pillars at the time, or… well, that would be a nasty way to die. Drowning in lava doesn’t sound like fun.
I’d also advise you, even more than before, to be careful. It turns out the community watch service has been training the dogs – yes, the stray dogs that we play frisbee with! – to inform them whenever they hear someone saying a forbidden letter. Sakura mentioned it to me in secret and I probably shouldn’t be telling anyone, but whatever. The point is, think about who might be listening before you speak.
And don’t speak at all around Greg if you think there’s even a remote chance of you slipping up. I think Sarah interacts with him more, right? Tell her to watch herself around him. He snitched on Ryan earlier for accidentally saying the banned letter. Like come on! What’s Ryan ever done wrong in his life? He’s not even good at sports, just let the poor guy be!
-Matt
Dear Matt,
Sarah here – thanks for your warning, I’ll take care. I’m sorry to hear about Ryan too. He’s such a nice mii! Hopefully he won’t slip up too much more, I’d hate to see him go. A few people have left voluntarily now, I’ve seen them at the docks with their box of possessions. Mia, Kentaro… Can’t say I spoke to them much, but it still hurts to know they’re gone. Will I ever see them again? I don’t know.
Also, I’m a little worried about Anna. You’re a fellow champion, could you keep an eye on her? Or ask Sakura? (aka the only member of the community watch service I trust.) I know Anna was always a loner, even more than you, but she’s more solitary than usual now, and I’m pretty sure she’s been breaking into the Queen Peach’s bar reserves when it’s docked. If it’s energy she needs then there’s plenty of places on the island to get sugary drinks, so I don’t think that’s what she’s after…
I’d ask her myself, but I don’t think I can get an answer out of her. Not to sound like one of those island newbies, but her skill levels are too, uh, powerful.
-Sarah
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P * R S T U V W X Y *
The *uick brown fox jumps over the la*y dog
Greg,
It’s Matt. Not to use my godlike champion powers for evil or anything, but can you not pick on Ryan please? The poor guy never did anything to you. We all mess up sometimes, leave him alone. Don’t be the one responsible for getting him kicked off the island.
-Matt
Hey Matt,
He broke the rules so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-Greg
Dear Sarah,
Hello old friend! It’s me, Ryan. Is it okay if I vent? I want to vent. I’m gonna vent. Greg is selfish, annoying, and utterly shameless. He’s like the annoying teacher’s pet from back at school, and he probably has the maturity of one too. His nasally voice! It’s so stupid. “Ohohoho Guest N! Guest N! Ryan broke the rules! Ryan said a BAD LETTER!”
Well Ryan is going to say many bad words if you carry on like that, you little…
Heh. What can I even say or do that’ll get him to respect me? My skills are abysmal and everyone knows it. Even having Matt stick up for me doesn’t work against a snitch who thinks he’s above everyone. I just hope Greg slips up himself at some point and that I get to be the one who gets revenge, the one who oh-so-regretfully must be a tattle-tale, and see him told off.
People ask me so often: why am I even on this island? It’s like they can’t understand that you don’t have to be good at sports to enjoy sports. I like being here! It’s as simple as that. I don’t want to leave because of a couple of stupid letters, and I especially don’t want to leave because of stupid Greg.
-Ryan
To Matt,
Hello :) My name is Lucía. No, I don’t live on Wuhu Island, you don’t know me. But you know Yoshi, right? I’m writing to you about her.
You see, she was an old schoolteacher of mine, and sort of kept in touch. As little as she remembers these days, she remembers me – I suppose it would be hard to forget someone who made such an impression – and recently came and told me all about how your island is banning letters, forcing people to dangle over lava, throwing anyone out who won’t conform.
She’s been chucked out, right? How awful.
I must admit, I’m curious. This is all very interesting from an outsider point of view, you know. My blog is running dry here – as much as I try to search for things to write about that people will actually like, it’s not that easy. But if I came to your island, saw the place for myself, then wrote up a post about what’s going on? Well, I’d be famous! And you’d get press too. It’s a win-win! (Not many of those kinds of situations in sports, are there?)
Yoshi didn’t want me to go, saying it’s “dangerous” and all that, as if I’m afraid of a bit of lava and censorship. So I challenged her to a match. A match of what, you might ask? Well, many years ago, she taught me how to play table tennis. Since then I’ve strengthened my skills immensely. So yes, we had a table tennis match. I, of course, was the clear winner – by no small margin, in fact – and so she reluctantly agreed to let me go. Not that she would have had a choice, really, I would choose to come here no matter what she thinks.
Anyway, I hear you’re the biggest champ on the island. May I stay with you? Pretty please? I have standards, you see, I’m not settling for any old accommodation with any random noob.
Oh, and as for the “Guest Society”, I wouldn’t worry. I’ve already asked them if I may join the island members in order to promote a new table tennis championship (which I know for a fact I’d win, obviously) and they seem perfectly happy with it, none the wiser to my true intentions.
What do you say? :)
-Lucía
To Lucía,
I’m fine with that. A few things to warn you about, though:
We don’t have any kind of internet or mobile connection on the island, as modern as it otherwise is. You won’t be able to blog from here. You’ll have to collect up all the information you need for your blog post, then smuggle it out again, understanding that you will not be allowed re-entry to the island. If that’s fine with you, feel free to go for it.
You’ll also probably have to play more sports than just table tennis. There’s plenty of choice.
-Matt
Dear Elisa,
We’re getting a new sport: table tennis! Someone called Lucía, who’s an expert at it apparently, is moving to the island to kickstart it. She’ll be staying here at the Cocoba so I suppose that’s where the table tennis matches will be held. There’s a nice spot near the pool for the table to go.
Don’t tell anyone (well alright, tell Sarah if you must), but the real reason Lucía’s here is because Yoshi told her about what’s going on here, and now she wants to write a blog post about it so that she… gets famous or something, I guess? Her reasons for doing it seem to be self-centred, but it does benefit us. The Guest Society might lose much of their funding if people elsewhere found out they were abusing their law-making powers, right? I hope so, anyway. Then maybe they’d overturn these banned letter rules, and we can go back to normal.
By any chance, are you good at table tennis? The tennis champion failing at table tennis is a thought that’s actually kind of hilarious to me, sorry,
-Matt
Dear Matt,
Oh man, I’m atrocious at table tennis. So feel free to laugh your heart out. But real tennis is for cool people, so there. You and Lucía can have fun playing your kiddie game while me and Sarah play an actual sport >:)
(I hope you know I’m kidding. Table tennis is cool, just not my thing.)
Did you hear about the J tile? It’s fallen off now too, and I heard that Tatsuaki really did try to scale the tower to stick it back on before anyone noticed, but he got caught by a community watch member. Now he’s been banished outright! Yeah, banished for just… breaking the rules, even though there’s no rule against doing what he did??? I’m livid.
He’s already been forced to leave, and his possessions will follow suit on tomorrow’s Princess Peach voyage. (I know the ship’s not called the Princess Peach, but I can’t say its real name anymore, can I?) I feel bad for the crew of that poor ship, really. It’s just a cruiser, why is it making so many unnecessary back and forth journeys like that? It never used to do it that often. It was just for tourists who wanted a day trip to the island, or a few nights’ stay without dedicating their life to this place…
Anyway, J will be banned soon I guess. Not looking forward to that, but what can we do at this point? At least it’s still a letter we don’t use much.
The Guests do at least have some kind of official statement about it now. There’s that whole old thing about Wuhu Island itself being sentient, and the fact that it keeps its volcano dormant is a sign that it respects us, etc. Well the Guests say that the island itself is chucking off the letters because it doesn’t want us to use them, and that we must obey or else suffer the volcano’s wrath.
Yeah. They’re basically like “do what we say or the volcano will explode and kill you all”.
I’m not the only one who’s sceptical, right?
-Elisa
Matt,
Lucía here :) Thank you for your reply! I’m looking forward to my stay on the island.
Speaking of which, an old friend of mine did some scientific analysis on some of the smuggled tile chips, and the results say that the glue is so old now that it’s breaking, and within a few months, ALL your letters will fall…
Naturally, we don’t want that to happen, do we? Perhaps I can charm one of your “Guests” into believing me? Are any of them sane enough for that to work? Because I’d certainly love to be a hero and help save the island, you know. It would make a fantastic blog post.
See you soon!
-Lucía
Dear Elisa,
Hey, it’s Matt. I got another letter from Lucía, who’s had the glue from the tiles analysed. Science backs us up – this is nothing to do with the island itself yelling at us for arbitrary reasons. The glue is simply old and falling apart! Which I would have thought was obvious, but hey, the Guests don’t seem to think so.
Would any of them be open to hearing this interpretation? Maybe it would help them change their minds. I feel like Guest L is the nicest of the bunch, so he’s the best to go for. What do you think?
-Matt
A B C D E F G H I * K L M N O P * R S T U V W X Y *
The *uick brown fox *umps over the la*y dog
Hello Anna,
It’s Sakura here, community watch member. I’ve been contacted asking to reach out to check that you’re alright – it seems some members of the community are concerned about you. You’re not in any trouble, I promise, I only want to know what’s up.
In fact, I’m not actually sending this letter in any official capacity. This is simply me, Sakura, a fellow mii of this island, wanting to know how you’re doing. I know these rules are hard to get used to, but if you need any assistance, please feel free to let me know. I’ll be happy to help, anytime.
Also, to warn you: the crew of the Royal Peach (as it has been recently renamed, in order to comply with the new island rules) do keep track of their supplies, and you have been seen hopping on and off whenever it’s here… Listen, if you need someone to talk to, about anything at all, there’s a whole island-full of people here. Well, perhaps not totally full, we’re missing a few members same as we’re missing a few letters, but you know. We’re here for you. Please don’t turn to drink.
-Sakura
Sakura,
Nice try. For starters, I’m not drinking anything? I don’t even drink. But even if I WAS doing anything “suspicious”, I wouldn’t tell YOU, since you’re all about the ~community~ and basically a Guest-apologist. How can you live with yourself? Actively working in their dodgy little “community” watch service? Yeah, big brother is watching us, alright. You are complicit in this little island dictatorship, you are. And I’m not interested in licking the boots of those annoying rich people, thanks. Get lost.
-Anna
Dear Ryan,
Matt here. Buddy, I know you’ve stopped talking so much, but feel free to write, okay? I know you’re nervous you’ll slip up again. And I completely get where you’re coming from. This whole island’s really starting to feel a bit dystopian.
Ah, dystopian… I won’t be able to use that word for much longer, since the D tile’s fallen. You’ve heard about that, right? I don’t know, since I haven’t seen much of you.
I’m sorry if I’ve always been a bit… aloof. I don’t know, I want to be friendly, but it’s not always an easy thing, is it? That’s something where my skill levels are sorely lacking. But please know that I do consider you my friend, and don’t think that since I’m a Big Scary Champion I won’t want to hang out with someone like you. Of course I do.
-Matt
Dear Matt,
Hey, thanks for your letter, I appreciate it. The truth is, I haven’t been leaving my room much… Greg’s out there, I can’t stand the sight of him and don’t want to have to acknowledge his existence. Especially since he’s been practising his table tennis and he’s much better than me – and he knows it!
-Ryan
Dear Ryan,
If it makes you feel any better, I’m bad at table tennis too. Anyway, forget about Greg – I hear that now that Tyrone got kicked off the island, Tommy and Eva have been looking for not only a new basketball teammate, but also a new bowling member. You could be that member! (Bowling, I mean, not basketball.)
And remember, hating Greg won’t help overturn the rules that made this all happen in the first place. Hold grudges all you want! But if you ask me, letting your emotions get in the way of sport won’t help you improve.
-Matt
Dear Matt,
It’s-a me, Elisa. I agree, Guest L is definitely the chillest of the bunch, so get Lucía to ask him.
Hypothetically, if the I tile fell, would that affect Lucía’s name? She’s got a little accent on it, same with Víctor (although I think he’s left) … I guess it’s still the same letter in the end, though. Oh man, I hope that tile doesn’t fall soon. We still have all our vowels thankfully, and I’d like to keep a hold of them for a while yet!
Speaking of falling letters, I’m really dreading not being able to use D from tomorrow onwards. What are we meant to do? Not even all our sports escape intact this time! Like your favourite sport, swordplay – what do we call that now? “Hitting people with sticks”? (Actually, I rather like that name. I’m gonna call it that.)
Sarah and I are practising already. It’s almost impossible to speak normally without D, I can tell you. We literally keep pausing for about 30 seconds before we say something, spelling it out in our heads first and making sure it’s okay to say. The island is going to be very silent tomorrow!
-Elisa
A B C * E F G H I * K L M N O P * R S T U V W X Y *
The *uick brown fox *umps over the la*y *og
Elisa,
Lucía’s here now, she got here earlier this evening. Maybe you saw her at the harbour? Anyway, now she’s here at the Cocoba. She has a real sweet tooth so she brought an entire boxful of sugary snacks, sweets, some Fanta too (well not exactly Fanta, I can’t say what it actually was because of illegal letters, but something similar), so we got rather… uh… hyper? I can’t remember the last time I was this hyper! Too many sweets, hehe…
She really is as great at table tennis as she wrote. We spent hours playing many matches, almost the whole night. (It’s 2am now, I’m too hyper on chocolate to sleep.) I’m terrible at the sport, or at least, I’m terrible in comparison with her. I never thought it possible to be such an expert, to that extent! How can anyone ever beat her? There’s no way!
Mostly when people are so full of themselves, I think it’s annoying. But this time… maybe I’m simply feeling very happy from those sweets or something, but it’s not a big thing this time… Yes, she’s full of herself. You think I care? Not this time. She really IS that skilful, I can’t say she isn’t. She says she’s a better champ than I am, with this terrible smirk on her face, but she’s RIGHT…
My fingers are shaking. I think I’ll eat sweets more often from now on.
-Matt
No, I won’t. Sugar crash. Brain-ache. Ignore that letter I sent last night. I’m still a better champ than her. She’s not that charming, okay? Now that I’m not hugely hyper she seems annoying. All prissy, pretentious, worst of all unbelievably arrogant. She’s got skill at table tennis, so what? Smirk all you want, Lucía, it’s not like I care…
-Matt, with braincells this time
Hey Matt,
Heh. Sure. I think you have more braincells when you’re hyper, to be honest.
-Elisa
Hello Sarah,
It’s only me, Sakura. No, not a community watch member any longer. I’ve left the service.
To have my own team rat me out… Yes, I was caught saying an illegal letter. Not on purpose! It was a mistake. But it was no mistake that Yoko thought to tell a Guest, sinister as she always is. I can’t stay in the service after that.
Oh, Anna was right, she was so right. I’ve been enabling the Guests in their… tyranny? Is that an appropriate way to put it? We on this isle aren’t suffering as much as so many others elsewhere, but what else can I call what we’re going through? It’s censorship, it’s cruelty. It’s things I haven’t got the letters to say.
Now what? What’s left for me? I play baseball in the small allotment we were given for it, impossible as it is, nothing else. I’m a “champ” – only barely. Yes, I’m the best at baseball here. But my skill level, it’s so much lower than the champs of any other sport. Elisa’s skill level at tennis is 2000! Yours is 1900! For me at baseball, a measly 1300. Plus, I rely on my team as much as I rely on myself, if not more. They’re the real champs. To tell the truth, I’m really feeling useless right about now.
I worry about Anna, too. She won’t talk to me, I have no clue what the problem is or why she steals alcohol from the ship. So much stress!
What letter will leave us next? It’s all I can think about.
-Sakura
Hey Sakura,
I’m sorry you’re going through tough times. Thanks for your letter, though, I hope I can help.
We’re all a bit useless, aren’t we? Nothing we can think of to stop the Guests in their tyranny (yes, I believe that’s a perfectly acceptable way to put it). I can never truly say exactly what I mean – only some sort of approximation with whatever letters are left.
Yet only 4 letters are gone so far! A whole 22 remain, but they aren’t enough. I want our missing ones back.
I wish there was a way to change something for real. For now, there isn’t. What then? I guess I’ll try to make YOU feel a bit better, at least, about having one offence in your belt. I’ll get one too!
This whole thing, it’s honestly… DREADFUL!!! >:)
There we go!^ That’s an illegal letter right there. Oh, it felt awesome to write, I have to say that much.
I know the Guests scan our mail if they manage to obtain it. We all know. So if they see this, I’ll have my first offence too, so you can rest feeling a little less alone.
-Sarah
Sarah, tennis vice-champion:
In your most recent letter, there has been usage of an illegal letter in the sentence commencing “This whole thing, it’s honestly…”
As this sentence contains two uses of an illegal letter, this amounts to two offences, therefore your punishment will be an afternoon spent on the lava pillars in the centre of Maka Wuhu/Mount Tenganamanga. Please take more care in future, lest the volcano erupt as a result of your thoughtless actions.
-Guest M, of the Guest Society
Hey Sakura,
Uh, oops. Forgot about basic spelling there. Anyway, being up on the lava pillars was not very nice, as you can guess. Blisteringly hot, brain-numbingly boring, not exactly the safest place when you think about how there was that earth-shake here not too long ago, so falling in the magma was a very real possibility…
As for Anna, she hasn’t been sporting very much at all lately, but she seems perfectly sober, so she’s not lying about that part at least. Earlier she was putting her bike away when I was nearby by chance, so I gave it a test but her breath smells fine too. She isn’t an alcoholic, if that’s what you’re worrying about.
No clue what she’s up to, though. She certainly has been stealing from the Royal Peach – but I prefer to keep that info away from the Guest Society or the community watch service if I can. I still trust Anna more than I trust them.
-Sarah
Matt,
Elisa here. Poor Sarah got put on the lava pillars, how awful! I was planning archery there that time but I chose not to go for it – what if I hit her with a stray arrow? What if she fell in the lava, or lost her life??? I was so nervous about that…
Gah, it’s so tricky to write. I thought it’s easier than speaking, which I’ve almost given up on, but nope. It’s still freaking impossible. I think I am genuinely going a bit nuts, you know. Are you? How can anyone manage to keep sane now that one of the most useful letters is gone forever? I think a chunk of my personality went along with it. I simply can’t be my usual self with only half my vocabulary intact. It’s a real Thanos snap, huh.
-Elisa
Elisa,
Have to confess, it’s the same here. I hear that now the most recent letter is gone, there’s seriously so many people having to go on the lava pillars. Only a matter of time until one falls in – I hope not me or you. Miguel won’t even fly his plane there anymore, he’s put a ban so no one will. Too much chance it’ll knock someone in. (Though it wasn’t safe to fly there in the first place… why fly in a volcano???)
Lucía’s still being her absolutely infuriating usual smug self, of course. She says she bets she can come up with a shorter pangram than Guest B’s original one, the one that’s falling off the clock tower. She says she’ll even tell Guest L that when we talk to him (which hopefully will be soon).
I mean… she is very well-spoken. I’m not praising her! I’m only pointing it out. She has a certain charm, one which might very well work on Guest L. Not on me, of course. Like I wrote before, she isn’t that charming. Really, she isn’t.
-Matt
Hey Matt,
Sure, you keep telling yourself that. Anyway, an O tile has fallen now, but only one of them – there’s still 3 left up on the tower! The Guest Society seems not to care, so uh… I guess we can still use O for now.
Also, Anna is seriously turning into a recluse. I caught her sneaking out to get lunch, but she was threatening to punch me! Yeah, me! The boxing vice champ, only ever beaten by you! Re-telling her that fact right to her face may not have been the best plan…
I worry, but I haven’t a clue what next. She never talks to anyone. It’s suspicious, yet I feel somehow like she’s not wronging anyone.
I’m losing it, Matt. Losing the absolute plot. My brain is scrambling like an egg. With every letter lost, so go the braincells…
-Elisa
Miyu note to self:
Hey future me. I’m the only one here who can write or speak at leisure, but at what cost? Ugh, it’s really getting to me. I’ll be 18 soon, then I’ll be in the same ruleset as everyone else, as silent as they all always are. Only a little while longer.
Truth is, I’m not free, even now. I make myself obey their rules, as practice, out of respect. How much must it hurt, for the others, to hear me speaking openly while they can’t? How much trouble will it put them in, if I write an open letter to them, putting them in possession of something illegal?
I sit here writing letters to myself, like this, so no one else suffers punishment. Trying not to mumble illegal things to myself, because it’ll only make it that much more painful later on to let go.
Is it true about the volcano? Will it erupt if I can’t toe the line? Surely not. Part of me is starting to believe, though. The lies of the Guest Society… their brainwashing… I can feel it. Taking over the isle, bit by bit.
I can’t forget how things were before. I must make myself remember. An open society with free speech. I want it back so much!
Oh Elisa,
It’s me, Sakura, I’m at wit’s end – what am I meant to be now??? I’m on my last chance, yes I was put on the pillars last night, they left me there overnight, I have never felt that much fear in my life.
I can’t… I can’t be here. It hurts. I’ll have to stop speaking or writing at all or I’ll have to leave. I have no choice. Maybe I’ll forget how to talk. Maybe that will be a blessing.
You were the first champ I ever knew… a soul of niceness. Promising never to train at baseball, so that I can be the best. You let me be the champion of that. It’s because of you that I’m a champ, that I have everything I have now. My whole reputation, everything… it rests on you.
Please though. If you want to be better at baseball, then BE better at baseball. No use saving it now. I no longer want it. I’m not a true champ, I can’t feel like one no matter how I try. I’m not worth it. Train at baseball to your heart’s content. For yourself now, not for me. Forget me. Please. No stopping yourself for anyone else. I was never that great at baseball anyway.
-Sakura
Sakura, baseball champion:
In your most recent letter, there has been usage of an illegal letter in the sentence commencing “It’s me, Sakura, I’m at wit’s…”
Your actions may cause harm to the entire isle. As this is your final offence, your punishment is banishment from the isle. Please report to the harbour as soon as possible. The community watch service will help you leave.
-Guest P, of the Guest Society
Hey Ryan,
It’s Elisa. Hope you aren’t too lonely, now that Matt plus Lucía are in town to talk to Guest L. It’s nice to see Matt again – nice to meet Lucía too. Yeah, she seems to think her brain is larger than it is, but at least there’s no ping pong table for her here. She can’t gloat too much without it!
Awful news, though – Sakura is gone. I never got to tell her something… she always thought of herself as an impostor, you know? Like she can’t truly belong. But she belongs alright, she’s proven it. She is the true baseball champ. She thinks she isn’t, she thinks I was always acting rubbish at it to make her feel better, but the truth is I wasn’t. I really am rubbish at baseball. She truly, actually, is the best.
I want to tell her… how can I now? Our letters leaving the isle, will they reach her? Or is there no point trying now? No clue where she’s even gone.
The first champ to leave. Now there’s me, Matt, Anna, Tommy, I guess Lucía is table tennis champ so her too. We’re all still here for now. But for how long?
-Elisa
Ryan,
Matt here. Kept my promise about writing to you, haven’t I? I won’t keep you lonely back there. Here in town it’s too noisy for my liking – all these cars (yes they’re electric, but you think I can’t still hear them?!), all these people. So new for me. I like it better back at the Cocoba, really, with only the noise of the sea. Elisa will have to believe me about that now.
We’re meeting Guest L tomorrow, he’ll come into town from the castle back to the Guest Society’s previous office here. Lucía will talk to him about how the tiles falling is nothing about the volcano erupting, it’s only normal science. Wish us luck?
Been playing a bit of basketball in the meantime too. The court is right here, so I may as well.
Have you got the news about the K tile? Yes, that one’s fallen now. We will have to stop using that one soon too. It’s starting to feel normal, having letters vanishing right from beneath our noses… it ought not to feel normal, though. The Guest Society is making censorship feel normal for us.
Huh… if the K tile is gone, this might be the last time I can write certain terms. “Know.” How can I get by without that? It’s not like you pronounce the K when you say it, but still, it will be illegal much like everything else.
“Like.”
Now there’s a term I thought wasn’t useful for me. I am, as you know, not that great at making pals.
But… I was a bit harsh on my earlier view of Lucía. No, I haven’t been eating more sweets. I seem to… like her now? She’s still arrogant. Still smug. But still charming. It makes me smile! How can I not like her? She’s cute…
Hey. No telling anyone. Especially not her. But then again, I think she knows anyway. She is, as she says, very smart.
As much of a champ as I am? Alright, yeah, maybe…
Oh, I give up. I like Lucía. A lot. No acting like it’s a lie anymore. It’s not a lie. I really like her.
-Matt
Hey Matt,
Aw, that’s sweet. You know what else is sweet too? You were right about Tommy, Eva, bowling – it’s fun! SO much fun! I know I can’t replace Tyrone, but whatever, they’re both so nice, so cool, so awesome, I love it!
Hah, take that Greg! Who’s having fun now, chump?
I wanna rub it in his face but I know that’s not a great plan. At least it was satisfying to watch him lose to Lucía so terribly the other afternoon. I see it in my sleep. It was so funny. He’ll never haunt me again.
Am I being immature? Sorry, maybe a bit. I’ll stop now. Like you wrote ages ago, keeping anger over him won’t help me at sports.
-Ryan
Ryan,
I’m happy you’re having fun! So are we, in a way – the meeting went fine. Lucí spoke to Guest L, he thinks the volcano will still erupt if we can’t stop using the illegal letters, BUT he believes there’s a possibility he’s wrong. He gave us a challenge – come up with a shorter pangram than Guest B’s one within a month. Not only shorter, conclusively shorter. If so, the ban will lift.
Basically, we have a month to come up with a 32-letter pangram.
Lucí thinks she can – well of course she thinks she can, she thinks she’s capable of anything. But we’re all going to try. Will you try too? Everyone can help.
I feel better now that there’s really a chance. Are you feeling better too now? I hope so. I hope we all feel better. Things really can change now. As long as we can solve this challenge.
-Matt